Hi and Lois, 1/28/16
“Why can’t we ever have a sleepover?” Trixie thinks. “Why can’t the sun remain forever in the sky, quickly warming our side of the globe beyond the ability of any life to survive, until the seas boil and the air burns away, while the other hemisphere is locked into eternal, icy night?” Fortunately, she isn’t one of those babies who have God-like powers to control time and space with her mind. She can just form adult sentences and concepts but can’t verbalize or act on them, so we really dodged a bullet here.
Judge Parker, 1/28/16
You know, I poke a lot of fun at the Spence-Drivers for their vast wealth and privilege, but let it never be said that they don’t deal with hardships! For instance, Abby spends so much time on her vast, lucrative farm that she’s no longer physically capable of smelling horse shit. Give Sam a few months in his new home office and his nose will be similarly damaged!
Meanwhile, Marvin’s friends, in defiance of all medical logic, are still fully able to experience the toxic miasma that surrounds him at all times. Today, though, the cold weather has caused whatever foul brew is in his diapers to freeze solid. This seems like it would be bad for him, health-wise, so it’s a good thing I don’t care about his well-being.
Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/28/16
“So you see, honey, I get to decide who lives and who dies and I have an excuse to ignore you while we eat. It’s what grownups call a ‘win-win.’”
Panel from The Lockhorns, 1/10/16
I love the way Leroy is delicately leaning up against the bookcase, but why do you suppose he’s idly thumbing through the thesaurus? Is this meant to indicate that he’s been waiting so long that he’s resorted to reading reference books for entertainment? Or maybe we’re meant to realize that his marital hell has so scarred him that he no longer has the vocabulary to describe it, and he’s desperate for new words that will truly convey the depths of his emotional torment.
Sure, I have a whole blog about comic strips, and sure, I complain about Marvin and his poop jokes about once a week on average, but there are still limits to how much space I allow the comics to occupy in my skull. For instance, I can’t remember whether Marvin’s grandparents who had to move into chez Marvin when they lost all their retirement savings are supposed to be Jeff’s parents or Jenny’s. And I refuse to look it up! You can’t make me! Even though knowing the answer would probably better help me get the family dynamics that establish the nuances of this strip, in which Grandpa opens his heart with Jeff and is cruelly mocked in return!
Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/10/16
Haha, of course Welton Green is part of Dolly Pierpoint’s sprawling mafia empire! Of course this guy knows all about Sarah and is probably under strict orders to let admit her! “The test is happening right now! Are you ready? Here it comes!” [winks exaggeratedly and hands Sarah a check]
Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/4/16
It’s honestly going to be pretty hilarious when Sarah brings her terrible personality to school and discovers that normals won’t like it, or her. I’m sure she’ll eventually use her mob ties and/or powers of psychokinesis to cow the many enemies she’ll make, but until then let’s just enjoy this pointless game of topper she’s playing with the headmaster’s assistant with the admittedly dumb nickname. “Being a nurse is much harder and more important than being a teacher. I’m skipping a grade so I can spend time with as few teachers as possible! Plus my mom had a baby. Did your mom have a baby? Probably not!”
Dennis the Menace, 1/4/16
The children are right to laugh, Hot Dog. Breakdancing is a trend that was played out decades ago.
At last, Marvin’s parents have figured out what he’s good for: as an instrument of revenge against a world that has repeatedly wronged them.