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Dustin, 11/3/26

Man, man, I could’ve done without Dustin’s dad’s sheepish little I-did-an-oopsie smile in the last panel here. I don’t really care if this is happening in his subconscious and he’s about to wake up having made a mess of the sheets or if he’s decided to manifest his dreams in real life and this is the incident that finally gets him disbarred at minimum, but he’s clearly getting off on his coworker’s anger and disgust and that shouldn’t be in the funny pages, which are a sacred space for cats who hate Mondays and whatever they have going on in Peanuts reruns these days.

Crankshaft, 11/3/26

Speaking of little smiles I hate, I don’t think Comic Book John should be imprisoned or anything for his facial expression on panel two, but I still don’t care for it. “Ah, the children of today,” he seems to be thinking. “They’re incredibly stupid, as it should be. Only the dumbest of minds will eschew legitimate literature for the moronic capeslop I sell, so this is all good news for me. Sorry about society, I guess.”

Marvin, 11/3/26

Also, Marvin, don’t go outside at all! You are literally a toddler?

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Marvin, 10/4/26

Hey, remember the World Cup, from, like, a few months ago? And remember that caveman-lookin’ guy from Norway, Erling Haaland? Well, what if there were a baby that looked like him. And he was on a soccer team for babies. (Just assume for this scenario that soccer teams for babies exist, don’t worry about it.) And the other babies were all scared of him, because they’re babies, their memory doesn’t go back very far but the World Cup does feature pretty prominently in it. But! Here’s the twist! He’s not a good soccer player at all, he just happens to look like one very specific and memorable-looking good soccer player! Say what you will about this strip, but I have to admit, never at any point in it did I know where it was going next, which I think may also be true for whoever wrote it.

Heathcliff, 10/4/26

You could express your bemusement at the increasing popularity of pumpkin spice treats by creating a vaguely hostile and violent dream sequence. Or you could just say to yourself, “What will they think of next? Pumpkin spice gum? Ha ha, I bet a bubble you’d blow with that would look like a jack o’ lantern!” I know which option I prefer.

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Marvin, 9/20/26

Now, if you were a normal person, by which I mean someone who has no idea what Marvin’s whole deal was beyond “Isn’t that a comic about, like, a baby?”, you would probably be taken aback by this strip, which seems to be a pretty harsh indictment of modern millennial parents, sucked into social media and checked out from what the wondrous moments of their kid’s toddlerhood, precious memories they’ll never get back. But Marvin realheads like you and me know that Marvin, the character, is the worst baby around, and deserves his father’s neglect. Who cares what he’s wearing? He sucks!

Shoe, 9/20/26

Given that the uncle-nephew bond is apparently the closest intergenerational relationship the bird-men of Shoe can experience, it’s too bad for the Perfesser that his uncles keep dying. Anyway, I think they should wait to make sure Uncle Walter’s coffin successfully lands in the grave before carving anything into marble.

Panel from Slylock Fox, 9/20/26

OK, yes, he should’ve been smart enough to take the cap off the pen. But the legal status of this monster — is he a sapient animal and therefore a citizen of the Forest Kingdom who needs liberation? a creation of an unclean human and therefore a lesser beast? a dangerous criminal who is competent to be tried and must be jailed? — should send the newly established animal political establishment into a frenzy, and you have to admire the good Count for his gumption in creating it.