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Crock, 11/26/25

So, how old were you when you learned that “stuffing” an animal actually meant that you strip its skin off and fit it over an animal-shaped taxidermy form — a mannequin, basically? I was well into adulthood, and it was recent enough that I’m still a little freaked out about it. In this scenario, I guess this means either that Yarnell was for some reason skinned and then mounted on a prone form that fit into a coffin, which seems kind of pointless, or that he was skinned and mounted on a form in some heroic pose which is being displayed elsewhere, and currently his skinless corpse is the main event at an open casket funeral, which is much more horrifying and would explain Captain Poulet’s expression. It’s also possible that I’m misinterpreting the joke and actually Crock is simply going to force his men to eat Yarnell for Thanksgiving, a holiday that the French do not celebrate.

Shoe, 11/26/25

Holy crap! Shoe finally did it! It finally acknowledged that its characters are birds! And it did it with a slam on all us mammals out here reading it. “Can you imagine having hair?” thinks the Perfesser. “Grotesque.”

Dennis the Menace, 11/26/25

Hey, did you know that at any moment Dennis might just show up at your house and passive-aggressively ask to shit in there? That’s … pretty menacing, honestly.

Marvin, 11/26/25

“Oh, so they’re doing bathroom jokes in Dennis the Menace now, huh? Well, I guess it’s time for us to do strips about Marvin puking everywhere. I don’t like it either, but we’ve got a reputation to maintain.”

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/5/25

Oh, wow, it turns out that this Rex Morgan, M.D., plot is going to involve — brace yourself — interpersonal conflict??? Specifically, it looks like Augie based the protagonist in his sought-after thriller novel on his girlfriend, whose permission he did not obtain in advance! I guess she’s currently working very hard to get her head around the concept of a fictional character who has many things in common with a real person but is not a one-for-one analogue, but trust me, once she figures that out she’ll be mad about the other thing.

Marvin, 11/5/25

Hey, this series started out cute enough but I am calling it now: it got real dark real fast. That poor overbred dog is in pain and his owner is laffing it up on the golf course! Let’s go back to the piss stuff, it’s less emotionally harrowing.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 11/5/25

I’m sorry, I refuse to believe that the isolated and impoverished residents of Hootin’ Holler would have the resources or the desire to participate in the wider service-based economy in this way. It’s more likely that they’ve lured this poor flatlander up into the hills so they can murder him with axes, steal his blade-sharpening equipment, and disassemble his van for scrap metal.

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Mary Worth, 11/4/25

Sorry to be a “liberal coastal elitist” who “has a basic understanding of how academia works,” but a “teachers conference” isn’t really a thing that a tenured PhD English prof at a large state university like Ian would go to; there are plenty of academic conferences where he’d make the rounds, of course, but those tend to run the length of a long weekend, not “a few weeks.” What I’m trying to say is that Toby has no real idea where her husband actually is right now, maybe because he never told her, or maybe because he did tell her and she forgot. When he does finally get home, in a few days or weeks or months or whatever, he will presumably find her on this park bench, her face having been viciously pecked off after she fought a parrot for control of a bag of sunflower seeds and lost.

Pardon My Planet, 11/4/25

I concede that there’s the core of a halfway funny joke about “runway models” here. But building a superstructure around it where you’ve got a dumpy old man grousing that someone misrepresented their attractiveness on a dating app, and also somehow a sex-with-twins fantasy is involved? That’s the misogynist pervert vibe that Pardon My Planet does best.

Marvin, 11/4/25

Glad to see we’re moving past “fire hydrants: they’re toilets, for dogs” to “fire hydrants: they’re the center of a dog’s social life, because they piss there, but for once we’re not dwelling on that part.” Anyway, what’s the most weird and off-putting way to describe someone using color to mask the fact that they’re going grey? It’s probably “has fake brown hair,” right?

Archie, 11/4/25

Hey, teens! It’s Archie! The comic strip about teens, full of jokes that are relatable … to teens!