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Pluggers, 6/7/26

Look, I know that Pluggers has lost its focus on pluggers being hard-working, blue collar real Americans and now mostly dwells on stuff like “pluggers eat a lot” and “pluggers are old and have mobility issues that significantly degrade their quality of life.” Still, I don’t think we should accept “pluggers exist on several layers of narrative and metanarrative and are slowly becoming aware of that fact.” That’s just not the sort of thing pluggers do or think about! They’re down-home regular beast-people, not characters in a damn Borges short story.

Beetle Bailey, 6/7/26

Pretty sure this is the closest Walker-Browne Amalgamated Humor Industries LLC has come to acknowledging that Beetle and Miss Buxley, as young adults in a relationship in ostensibly the modern day, are probably having sex? Things quickly go south right after that acknowledgement, though, thank goodness.

Mary Worth, 6/7/26

“I used to hate myself! But now I’ve done a lot of work and I don’t anymore. When my girlfriend left town to take care of some important family members I immediately assumed it meant she was breaking up with me, by the way! Ha ha, my head is made of wood!”

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Mary Worth, 6/3/26

Bad news, everyone: Tommy has managed to “seal the deal,” as they say in the sex-having community. He’s not like the other guys, as demonstrated by the fact that he refers to frozen yogurt as “fro-yo.” If he’d called it “frogurt,” he’d have a long, lonely night ahead of him.

Shoe, 6/3/26

Look, I complain a lot about how Shoe generally refuses to acknowledge that its characters are all birds, so I have to hand it to today’s strip: “Charles Squab” is a solid bird-themed pun. Unfortunately this scenario is out of date: the Perfesser, as the strip has repeatedly established and indeed makes clear today, does not have anywhere near the amount of assets that would justify in-person financial advice, and would have been pushed into checking his balances on squab.com, or squab.bird, or whatever the top-level domain in the Shoeniverse is.

Alice, 6/3/26

Why not look 70 at 70? Why not look however old Alice looks at whatever age Alice is? Have you ever given any thought to how old Alice looks, or is? I hadn’t, but now I can’t stop thinking about it, and whether those two numbers match up, and how you could even tell!

Gil Thorp, 6/3/26

COACH BABU: I can help Beth with the wedding.

GIL: Are you sure, Coach Babu?

COACH BABU: Only if I can plan the sangeet. Is there one?

GIL [nervously glances down at the convenient narration box explaining what a sangeet is, learns that it sounds fun and also inexpensive]: There is now!

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Wizard of Id, 6/1/26

The Met Gala was exactly four weeks ago today, in case you were curious as to what the Wizard of Id publication lead time is! You might think that, having come up with the hilarious joke, the creative team would’ve kept it in the chamber to be published on the actual date of next year’s Met Gala, but hey, these are uncertain times. Will the Met Gala even happen in 2027? Will newspaper comics still be published? Will any of us be alive? Why wait?

Judge Parker, 6/1/26

Look, I know it’s been a long time since Alan “Judge Parker Senior Emeritus” Parker has been the main guy in the strip that bears his name, but … look at that last panel. Eyes closed, mouth hanging dully open as he begins taking another big bite of the sandwich he got to-go from the diner where he made everyone emotionally uncomfortable. The artist didn’t have to do him like this. He could’ve been left with a shred of dignity!

Daddy Daze, 6/1/26

The Daddy Daze daddy has some generic email job that isn’t at an educational institution and the Daddy Daze baby is a baby. It doesn’t matter if your headcanon for this strip is that the Daddy Daze baby’s series of “ba”s carry real semantic meaning or if the Daddy Daze daddy merely projects his own insane ruminations onto them, there is zero reason for them to have a conversation about the school calendar, a concept of no importance to either of them.

Mary Worth, 6/1/26

“I mean, at least you won’t have too many student loans! I’ve been in college since at least 2007 and I’m no closer to a degree than I’ve ever been!”

The Lockhorns, 6/1/26

“Blood … there was so much blood. And the sex stuff … look, I don’t want to talk about it.”