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Comics archive! Mary Worth

Is Mary God’s anointed on earth? Probably!

Mary Worth, 7/29/14

Oh, man, you guys, I always thought that this storyline was going to be about a little girl with angel friends and second sight, but don’t forget that Mary has psychic powers as well! Remember when Mary dreamed Dr. Jeff was drowning, so she flew to Vietnam, where he had gone to help people only to contract a dangerous ailment, and then Mary forcibly dragged him back? Anyway, last weekend Mary dreamed that Olive was drowning, which apparently indicated that Olive was actually drowning, so her future-scrying abilities are getting less metaphorical, which is probably helpful, in the long run.

Funky Winkerbean, 7/29/14

Haha, this actor who is starring as “Les,” the lead character in a movie on a true story written by a guy named “Les,” is surprised to learn that his character is based on the screenwriter! In other news, everyone in this Funky Winkerbean plot continues to be a moron and/or jerk other than Les, which is definitely something readers will enjoy because Les is such a universally beloved character.

Action Mary!

Mary Worth, 7/27/14

Hmm, just the other day Mark Trail was giving out relationship advice, and here’s Mary pulling a drowning victim to safety. Ian Cameron better watch his beard, is what I’m saying.

Funky Winkerbean (rotated), 7/27/14

Starbuck Jones rescues Broadway and film legend Carol Channing from a series of late-career guest appearances in cheesy sitcoms: “Raaaaaaaaaaaaspberries!”

This is over now, right?

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/27/14

You can almost hear them cackle over at Rex Morgan headquarters: “So you’ve had enough of SARAH, have you, faithful readers? Well here’s an academic politics story for you – and Rex as the voice of reason! SOON YOU WILL BEG FOR SARAH.”


Well, that’s it for me. Thanks for a fun couple weeks — see you again in late August as we follow along the Great Josh and Amber Westward Migration. Josh himself will be back Monday with special-edition Comments of the Two Weeks, a detailed critique of Mary’s figure as revealed by her soaking-wet nightgown, and all the usual succulent Joshy goodness. ‘Bye!

– Uncle Lumpy

Get down to the sea somehow

Mary Worth, 7/23/14

That’s it, Olive! Hide in the pool! They won’t think to look there what with your abject terror of water and stuff, so what could possibly go wrong?

If Olive lives through this night, she can look forward to a career acting in teen slasher movies.

Curtis, 7/23/14

You know, we missed Kwanzaa this year, but I’ll accept that X-ray in panel 1 and Chang’s pants as partial compensation.

Crock, 7/23/14

Still not as heartless as Funky Winkerbean. Up your game, Crock.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/23/14

Kelly – “What if I am insufficiently pleasing to SARAH? How could I go on living?
Niki – “That was before! Things are different now — and by ‘different’, I mean ‘later.’”

Heathcliff, 7/23/14

This started out a three-panel comic, but no newspaper would print the other two.


– Uncle Lumpy