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Mary Worth, 8/11/26

Welp, I guess all the Tommy business has been resolved and now we can finally get into what we really want to know: what’s life at the Weston condo unit like when it’s just Dawn and Wilbur? Oh, you know, normal stuff, Dawn buying pans that are way too small, Wilbur being like, “Dawnie, there’s not enough room on that pan for all the food we like to eat,” Dawn taking it back to the pan store, which probably is used to this by now because they stock the small sizes that nobody really wants, etc.

Shoe, 8/11/26

Yeah, I’m just going to say it: the Perfesser is right, it sounds like his support group isn’t supportive at all and he’s not really getting much out of it. Did he accidentally join a class about how to do comedy roasts, and none of the other students are particularly funny, and this is the best they could do? Because that’s a common mistake.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 8/11/26

Big news, everybody! The scam twins were planning on kidnapping Sarah, but then their jailbird uncle explained to them what a “felony” is, and now they’re having second thoughts.

Dennis the Menace, 8/11/26

Everyone’s smiling in this panel and I think that’s lovely. It’s honest hard work, it keeps you in shape, you’re outdoors in the fresh air, and you often make a union wage. Yes, sir, ditch digging’s the life!

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Crankshaft, 8/10/26

You know how when you’ve been experiencing pain for a while so it’s become just kind of background radiation in your life, when it abates the absence of sensation feels actively pleasurable? That’s what I’m assuming is happening here: Pam had instinctively steeled herself to receive some gibberish pun-like utterance from her father, but then he just said some mostly coherent dribble of Chicken Soup for the Soul, and now she’s positively beaming about it. Obviously this is even less of a “punchline” than you usually get in this strip, but maybe reading one of the only Funkyverse strips ever where everybody involved is more or less happy is its own reward.

Alice, 8/10/26

I’m assuming we’re supposed to understand “The Marketplace” as Amazon or eBay or Facebook Marketplace or Craigslist or something, but maybe Alice’s boyfriend is talking about, like, the marketplace as an abstract concept? Maybe Alice has crafted the perfect computer virus that’s going to destroy capitalism, and she just has to do “one more thing” to end all forms of buying and selling, forever.

Mary Worth, 8/10/26

Here’s a thing about Wilbur: he could’ve been fucking your mom for years and that wouldn’t make you his friend. You’ve got to go out for ice cream with him and conspicuously not mention the fact that he got a triple scoop and it’s melting all over everything to earn that status!

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Shoe, 8/9/26

Hey, uh, Shoe, what’s goin’ on over there, kids-wise? You don’t like kids? You’re doing a comic for the last remaining old people who still read newspapers and counting on them being not doting grandparents, but the kind of old people who don’t like kids, possibly because they don’t have grandkids or have them but don’t get along with them, so nobody’s taught them how to use TikTok, which is why they’re still reading the newspaper?

Dennis the Menace, 8/9/26

I guess I don’t spend a ton of time with young people either, but I’m still pretty sure there aren’t a ton of zoomers out there named “Darian,” or people of any generation, really. Yeah, this girl is a zoomer, I know everyone in this strip looks like they were born in 1956, but Dennis’s family has access to computers and such, she was definitely born in the 21st century! And yeah, she’s named “Darian,” I guess!

Mary Worth, 8/9/26

Ha ha! Addicted to ice cream? Could you even imagine? A world where “compulsive eating” was a real thing, and indeed was something that recovering drug or alcohol addicts sometimes fall into as their addictive behavior shifts? What a laff!

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 8/9/26

Snuffy definitely bought a bunch of circus animals at fire sale prices and ate them and now is haunted by thoughts of their vengeance, c’mon, why are you lying to us about this