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Archive: Mary Worth

38

Female and/or robot trouble

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Hi and Lois and Alice, 9/28/26

Artificial intelligence! It’s the future, or maybe the present, and it’s going to change the world, possibly by killing us all, and it’s definitely the driving force behind most financial activity over the past couple years in some hard-to-understand way! So how should we think about it? Should we use it as an opportunity to “do bits” in a way that will cause our long-suffering spouses to roll their eyes hard enough to injure themselves? Or should we just stare ahead with a neutral expression and ask questions about it, just for information, as calmly as possible, lest we enrage it? Well, I have my finger on the pulse of public opinion (i.e., I read the newspaper comics), and I’m here to report that opinions differ.

Mary Worth, 9/28/26

Toby Cameron doesn’t have time to worry about any of this AI nonsense, though. She’s got important snooping to do, learning stuff like the fact that UC Santa Royale is paying for a trip to the famous Maui Luxury House Resort for one of its mid-tier English professors! Is this a good use of increasingly restricted university funding for the humanities? Looks like the California Assembly Committee on Higher Education is about to get a very juicy whistleblower report.

109

Also, why is it a mansion, seems overly grandiose to be honest

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Blondie, 9/26/26

I very much accidentally read Blondie’s dialogue in panel one as “that restaurant we swore we’d never go back to” and, you know what: Mama Chowabunga Manicotti Mansion would absolutely be on a list of restaurants to never go back to. Honestly it feels like it should be at the top of a list of restaurants never to go to in the first place. They took “cowabunga,” first coined as a fake Native American word for the Howdy Doody show, and turned it into a fake Italian word, in a move that could get groups that usually fight with each other about recognizing Columbus Day to unite against a common enemy, which I honestly think is kind of beautiful, but I wouldn’t eat there.

Mary Worth, 9/26/26

I know it would never happen, but the absolute funniest denouement of this storyline would be if after weeks of gossip Toby was like “Ian and Mary? I don’t think so” and it’s just never addressed again and there’s a new plot on Monday. Are they or aren’t they? None of our business, frankly! Toby doesn’t think so and that’s good enough for me!

137

Soapy Friday

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Mary Worth, 9/25/26

Dang, Alma, you were the most sensible person in this whole situation for about 30 seconds, but now you’re out there buttonholing people in the Charterstone parking lot to tell them the good bad news about Mary Worth and Ian maybe enjoying the pleasures of the flesh together. We’re about to finally get some forward movement in this story, though, because this constant gossiping is at last happening with Toby within earshot. I do hope she really only caught that last part. “Wait, spend that time with me? That’s time I could be spending with my parrots! No thanks.”

Gil Thorp, 9/25/26

Gotta say, the second two panels here, where a glowering, mustachio’d Marty Moon says “The success is largely on Borys Orlov’s shoulders–” and then Coach Gerards cuts him off and and declares “Nonsense! I plan and they execute” really could be an exchange between Stalin and one of his aides, as the aide tries to explain to him that one of his non-purged generals had really started to turn things around against the Wehrmacht and Stalin immediately takes credit. Except for the perm. Probably. Can you prove that, in the darkest days of the Battle of Moscow, Stalin didn’t have a long, flowing perm? He’s usually wearing hats in most of the pictures I’ve seen. Could be anything under there.