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Archive: Mary Worth

129

Joey’s throwing form is terrible, that’s amusing at least

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Dennis the Menace, 2/27/26

I’m not here to tell the Dennis the Menace creative team how to do their job, but … oh, wait, I am here to do that! That’s literally my job! Anyway, this joke is fine, but it absolutely should’ve run in mid-December, not February. And probably Dennis should’ve looked gleeful, not, as he does here, mournful, as if he’s been forced by circumstances beyond his control to paste some poor sap with a snowball against his will.

Mary Worth, 2/27/26

Several commenters have speculated that Harvey is being catfished and this would just be a tired retread of the “Estelle gets catfished by Arthur Z” plotline from five years ago. One thing that could spice that up a little is to bring AI into the picture, and Mary’s boldfaced “unreal” hints pretty broadly that this is the direction we’re going. The only question is whether “Trixie” is a fully autonomous bot, perhaps an escapee from the Moltbook project, or just a cartoonish avatar that Arthur Z whipped up with OpenAI’s free tier image generation capabilities, since using stock photos is now passé in the eldergrift biz.

Blondie, 2/27/26

Look, Dagwood, I don’t know what you think “freestyle” means, but whatever you’re doing with your legs isn’t it. It isn’t anything we want to see, either. This is a family newspaper, damn it.

190

Live your life so Mary Worth never bold-face yells “AGE DIFFERENCE?” at you

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Dick Tracy, 2/26/26

The number of human beings who, over the past 18 months or so, have wondered to themselves if minor Dick Tracy villain Silver Nitrate is still having a hard time in prison can probably be counted on one hand, but I assume all those people read my blog and have only come to care because of my occasional efforts to bring the matter to their attention. So anyway, this plot update goes out to all of you Nitrate trufans: the Russians launched a drone attack on a Neo-Chicago prison in order to facilitate a mass jailbreak, and now Silver Nitrate is about to get extremely killed, by a machine gun.

Mary Worth, 2/26/26

“Oh, wow … just 32 and a widow already! You know, most young women don’t really have a sense of how long a man can live, and when they meet one who’s older than them they assume he’s got like 5 or 10 years left in him, tops. Anyway, good for her!”

Blondie, 2/26/26

“Blondie wants Dagwood to prove his humanity by displaying sexual interest in her, and Dagwood doesn’t care if Blondie is a robot or not so long as his dinner is made of real meat” is, uh. It’s a little on the nose, I think.

221

The North of England was a Yorkist stronghold, not sure if that’s relevant

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Andy Capp, 2/24/26

Honestly, there’s just a lot to enjoy here in today’s Andy Capp. I like that Chalkie is taking the opportunity in the middle of the game to roast his teammate for deservedly getting beat up, and I like that the quizmaster is doing such a half-assed job that he just asked an open-ended “when” question about a series of interrelated conflicts that stretched intermittently over multiple phases over 16 years, or possibly 32 years. I love that we learn that the winner of this thing will take home cold, hard cash, which explains why Andy, not really known for his enthusiasm for intellectual pursuits but always short of beer money, is participating, and also means that, given that we know the questions have answers that will be easy to dispute, it may give rise to a further scrap tonight.

Mary Worth, 2/24/26

Look, I’m not saying that I have perfect gaydar, or that gaydar honed in the real world would be at all functional in the Mary Worth universe, but I do want to say that when a dapper elder gentleman with an ascot arrives in a new community and tells the local nosey women that he’s a widower, and then when he realizes that excuse has passed its expiration date blurts outs “I have a girlfriend named, uh, Trixie, but you wouldn’t know her, she goes to a different school” at their approach, there’s reason to believe he may be dissimulating to a certain extent.

Pluggers, 2/24/26

Ha ha, it’s funny because eventually you get to an age where you retire but just keeping your failing body alive feels like a full-time job! PLUGGERS!