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The Phantom, 10/31/26

Hey, sorry I haven’t been keeping you up on The Phantom, but the short version of what you missed is that transparent Elon Musk standin Ian Mollusk’s AI system has gone rogue, melting the Python’s brain and leaving him feeble and docile rather than the anti-Phantom killer Mollusk envisioned, and also escaping into Mollusk’s refrigerator somehow. Today’s strip honestly tickles me because, yeah, the Nomad’s been in Gitmo for years and, yeah, a lot’s happened in that time! They don’t let you read the newspaper in there! He’s still catching up!

Mary Worth, 10/31/26

Really love how Tommy realized at the last possible moment that he has to say that he never believed Mary and Ian were actually having an affair. Obviously Mary knows better, but he just got under the wire for plausible deniability so Mary isn’t honor bound to eviscerate him right here at his place of employment, yet.

Hagar the Horrible, 10/31/26

Oh, also, it’s Halloween! Got any big plans? Hagar and Helga decided to host an Eyes Wide Shut style masked orgy at their house, which wouldn’t have been my choice but, you know what, I don’t judge.

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Mother Goose and Grimm, 10/30/26

I will reluctantly agree that “gummy bear” -> “Smokey has no teeth” is a decent joke and I can see the appeal of committing it to comic strip form. However, I cannot condone this particular visual interpretation, in which Smokey seems genuinely shocked by his own gumminess, as if his teeth had been cruelly ripped from his mouth mere moments ago and he’s not only suffering intense pain but realizing he’ll no longer be able to rip and tear meat, crack bones, or crush tough plant matter — all important aspects of the bear lifestyle.

Family Circus, 10/30/26

I guess Jeffy is supposed to look sheepish, but to me it honestly seems like he’s rolling his eyes at his sister. Dolly, you idiot, you philistine, for his costume he’s a practitioner of the ancient, storied art of clowning. His role is to act the fool and hold up a distorted mirror to our society and ourselves. Every day is April Fool, to him! He’s in character!

Mary Worth, 10/30/26

Tommy, have you seen the amount of muffins this woman produces? Do you think she’s interested in gluten-free anything? Your interrogation is going to be extra painful now.

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Shoe, 10/29/26

I don’t think you should bring your own botox to a party. I think botox should be supplied and injected by trained and licensed medical professionals! Call me a stick in the mud who doesn’t align with current government policy on this topic, but I feel strongly about it.

Flash Gordon, 10/29/26

As you know, I mostly don’t comment on new-look Flash Gordon here except to note how cool it is and that you should definitely be reading it. It dips deep into the strip’s lore for a lot of stuff but also isn’t afraid to stake out new narrative territory, including, apparently, “Dr. Zarkov has been low-key fucking his way through the Mongolithic lady scientist community ever since he arrived on this planet.”

Herb and Jamaal, 10/29/26

“God would never tell anyone to eat at this place,” thinks Rev. Croom. “I would know: I eat here every day, having been tempted to do so by Satan. I only do it to better know the Enemy, so I can defeat him!”

Mary Worth, 10/29/26

“He’s not the sharpest tool in the shed! Doesn’t always understand what’s going on! Truly unequipped for even the basics of navigating daily life! Dumber than a pillowcase full of doorknobs!” [suddenly starts sobbing] “Mary, I love him SO MUCH”