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Archive: Mary Worth

94

Excited for Mary Worth to get Kafka-seque

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Panel from Slylock Fox, 11/1/26

My first reaction to this panel was a very strong and visceral feeling that animals wearing fursuits of other animals is just wrong. It’s wrong! And probably you’re going to barge on in and say, ooh, Josh, are you saying that rabbits and lions and mice and foxes are all the same category of thing, as opposed to humans? Are you saying they all look alike to you? And yes, that’s what I’m saying, and at some level they believe it too! Why else does Slylock think that it’s OK to dress up as a mouse who’s as big as a fox? You’re saying he doesn’t “see” size? C’mon now.

Shoe, 11/1/26

Kudos to the artist for adding the little floating dots in Biz’s field of vision in the first panel. That’s a subtle hint that all this talk about “do[ing] it for me” and “the night [being] young” are code for drinking. He’s drunk all he can, because he’s old and can’t hold his liquor anymore! And now he’s probably going to drive home! Good times.

Mary Worth, 11/1/26

I love how Mary methodically worked her way through all the dweebs and idiot morons in her life, and each time another name was named, her thought was “Well, I guess I’m going to have to figure out who they heard this outlandish rumor from.” But as soon as Tommy announced that Nelly was his source, Nelly whom she barely knows (though she frames that relationship in her mind as Nelly rarely taking the golden opportunity to interact with Mary) — the target was acquired. Nelly’s going to pay. Nelly’s going to suffer. Does Nelly think she’s miserable? She doesn’t know the meaning of misery — but she will, and soon.

151

I mean, I judge a certain amount, I guess

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The Phantom, 10/31/26

Hey, sorry I haven’t been keeping you up on The Phantom, but the short version of what you missed is that transparent Elon Musk standin Ian Mollusk’s AI system has gone rogue, melting the Python’s brain and leaving him feeble and docile rather than the anti-Phantom killer Mollusk envisioned, and also escaping into Mollusk’s refrigerator somehow. Today’s strip honestly tickles me because, yeah, the Nomad’s been in Gitmo for years and, yeah, a lot’s happened in that time! They don’t let you read the newspaper in there! He’s still catching up!

Mary Worth, 10/31/26

Really love how Tommy realized at the last possible moment that he has to say that he never believed Mary and Ian were actually having an affair. Obviously Mary knows better, but he just got under the wire for plausible deniability so Mary isn’t honor bound to eviscerate him right here at his place of employment, yet.

Hagar the Horrible, 10/31/26

Oh, also, it’s Halloween! Got any big plans? Hagar and Helga decided to host an Eyes Wide Shut style masked orgy at their house, which wouldn’t have been my choice but, you know what, I don’t judge.

136

Stop trying to make “Mrs. W.” happen, also

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Mother Goose and Grimm, 10/30/26

I will reluctantly agree that “gummy bear” -> “Smokey has no teeth” is a decent joke and I can see the appeal of committing it to comic strip form. However, I cannot condone this particular visual interpretation, in which Smokey seems genuinely shocked by his own gumminess, as if his teeth had been cruelly ripped from his mouth mere moments ago and he’s not only suffering intense pain but realizing he’ll no longer be able to rip and tear meat, crack bones, or crush tough plant matter — all important aspects of the bear lifestyle.

Family Circus, 10/30/26

I guess Jeffy is supposed to look sheepish, but to me it honestly seems like he’s rolling his eyes at his sister. Dolly, you idiot, you philistine, for his costume he’s a practitioner of the ancient, storied art of clowning. His role is to act the fool and hold up a distorted mirror to our society and ourselves. Every day is April Fool, to him! He’s in character!

Mary Worth, 10/30/26

Tommy, have you seen the amount of muffins this woman produces? Do you think she’s interested in gluten-free anything? Your interrogation is going to be extra painful now.