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Pluggers, 5/12/25

Man, the facial expressions in this one really make it, and by “make it” I mean “make it clear what a grim marital scene these two will be enduring for the rest of their lives.” Obviously the focus is on how the kangaroo lady is willing to go into bug-eyed urinary discomfort if it means she gets to experience a few more precious minutes spent not watching sports, but don’t ignore the bear man’s hooded eyes: he’s very much aware of what’s going on and is seething that his wife is willing to go to such lengths to stymie his desires. The really sad thing is that this plugger couple has also brought us “bear man wants to watch TV even though kangaroo lady is desperate to leave the house and do literally anything else” and “bear man is going to get kangaroo lady so drunk that she passes out so he can watch what he wants, and he considers this better than sex,” so this isn’t even the most depressing TV-related glimpse into this marriage that this trip has provided us with. Anyway, if the kangaroo lady really wants to keep the TV tuned to her channel while she’s in the bathroom, she could just take the remote with her. Obviously the bear man could get up off the couch and change the channel, but trust me, he is not going to get off the couch and change the channel.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/12/25

Look, I don’t want to minimize how scary it would be for the police to incorrectly suspect you of murder, but the length of time during which the police incorrectly suspected Augie of murder started when the beat cop showed up on the scene and decided to do as little work as possible and mostly ended when the homicide detective showed up and decided the stalker had been murdered by drugs, and then the whole thing was definitively put to rest when the real murderer called the cops and was like “actually it wasn’t a drug overdose, it was murder, and I, not Augie, am the murderer.” It’s always hard to tell how long things take in the comics but the first part took maybe an hour and I believe the second part was wrapped up by the end of that night? “A while” is really stretching things, is what I’m saying here.

Mary Worth, 5/12/25

The big narrative tension in this storyline is that we know that Belle is a murderous psycho and Dawn suspects but cannot prove that Belle is a murderous psycho, but it’s not clear if Wilbur thinks Belle is completely normal or is ignoring obvious warning signs because he is desperate for sex. I kind of feel like today’s strip points towards option two, as Wilbur does not take the obvious opportunity to have Belle come over to Mary’s apartment for a muffin sesh, indicating that he clearly knows such a scenario would end very badly. However, he’s not smart enough to realize that the arrival of the latest issue of Fish Fancy might lead Belle to realize how emotionally involved he is with his fish, which could be bad news for Willa.

Bizarro, 5/12/25

Hey, how do you think this ghost is going to get that cereal inside his body? Will he just dump it in through one of his eye holes? Will that interfere with looking at his phone? Sorry to dig into the details like this, but we’re all going to be dead someday and I honestly would like to know as much as possible about the mechanics in advance.

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Dustin, 5/9/25

It’s a little weird writing a blog about the relatively small world of the syndicated newspaper comics, because I know for sure that many of comics creators read my little posts but it’s not always clear which ones do, so when a strip makes a change that could be interpreted as being in response to my criticism my first reaction is to become slightly drunk with power. Like for instance, I’ve complained for years that the Dustin strips about the dating life of its Millennial Zoomer characters all take place in fern bars and don’t involve dating apps at all; today’s strip, I’d like to imagine, is the result of the Dustin team finally saying “FINE, we’ll do a dating strip that involves the apps, that’ll shut him up. The kids don’t put their pictures on dating apps, do they? That would be insane.”

Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/9/25

So it turns out that Kelly did not break up with Niki before starting to date a tall boy she met at college, and once she figured out her mother was no longer in mortal danger she went over to the garage where Niki works to break the news to him, and his reaction was pretty chill, all things considered. Today we learn why: seems like he’s got a new gal himself, with a kerchief! Is “Big Sandy” one of Glenwood’s wholly disproportionate number of retro musical acts? Are these two young people dabbling in the exciting rockabilly lifestyle? Is god-damned Buck involved, somehow? Reload joshreads dot com non-stop for further developments!

Mother Goose and Grimm, 5/9/25

Jesus Christ, what is this lady standing on? Is it her face? Is it more feet? None of the potential answers are good!

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Six Chix and Blondie, 5/3/25

We have I think pretty conclusively established that the Blondie team mines National Day Calendar dot com when they need an inspiration or a peg for any given day’s strip. That’s why I regret to inform you that, while Six Chix was happy to riff on the very real and very cool holiday of National Paranormal Day, which is today, Blondie just gave us one of the most vapid and toothless “Ha ha, you know what sure are crazy, is current events! I’ll be giving you no further details on that” strips I’ve ever seen. Today could’ve been the day we saw Dagwood eat a bowl of chili so hot that he gains the Sight and can see through the veil into the next world! Instead we get this bullshit!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/3/25

Hmm, that crooked smirk … that domineering attitude … is bad girl Kelly back? Is bad girl Kelly going to show up at Niki’s to formally inform him that he was dumped approximately six weeks ago, with her new tall boyfriend in tow? This is a groove that I am very excited to see her get back!