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Hi and Lois, 11/19/24

See, here’s an example of why Hi and Lois absolutely should stick to its post-punchline vibes: today’s strip does have a punchline, and it sucks. Oh, what’s that? You don’t watch a form of televised entertainment that’s become omnipresent because it’s cheap to produce and activates the same base pleasure centers in the human bran that react to cocaine? You’d rather contemplate the slow-moving majesty of nature instead? Thanks, smug baby, you’ve really given us all something to think about, via extremely mild wordplay.

Marvin, 11/19/24

Two of the worst things about Marvin are (a) it’s often about the title character peeing and pooing, and his adversarial relationship to toilets and being potty trained, and (b) it never really lands on whether the title character is a preverbal infant who communicates with thought balloons, in which case the peeing and pooing make sense, or a child old enough to go to school independently and talk out loud and such. Anyway, today’s strip hits both of these low notes, if you’re keeping track.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/19/24

Is Rex Morgan a fast-paced, gripping adventure strip that makes every visit to the comics page a thrill ride? No. But does it tackle real-world medical issues and educate the general public about their importance? Also no. But does it feature lots of drawings of hands in very specific positions and configurations? Yeah, that’s the one. It does that. We all know about “feet guys,” but if there’s such a thing as “hand guys,” as I assume there are, Rex Morgan, M.D., is their go-to, and I think that’s great.

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Gil Thorp, 11/14/24

I don’t know why but it infuriates me that Marty is casually dropping “P.I.O.” into his patter. We get it, Marty, you know that they’re called “public information officers” and not “press secretaries” now, you’re very in the know and up to date and yet you still couldn’t convince them to violate HIPAA and tell you what’s wrong with Gil Thorp’s heart and brain, blah blah blah.

Mary Worth, 11/14/24

“Wouldn’t that be wild? Wouldn’t that be crazy! Ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!” [the waiter arrives; Mary and Jeff order their usual dishes and spend the rest of the evening eating in silence]

Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/14/24

“You seein’ the pattern here, buddy? Long story short, I need you to hit me in the head with this shovel as hard you can. I’ll be rich!”

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Blondie, 11/11/24

Remember just weeks ago, when Dagwood dismissed the pumpkin spice concept, now in its second decade, as a mere passing craze? Well, apparently he’s finally taken a single sip of a chain coffee shop’s pumpkin spice latte and now? Now he can’t get enough. It’s no longer a goofy, female-coded trend that Dagwood as a middle-aged suburbanite chuckles at with amusement: now it’s associated with the consumption of foodstuffs, triggering the most primal urges of Dagwood the endlessly insatiable Appetite.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/11/24

Remember a few years back, when Mud was Truck’s rival for Wanda’s affections? Well, now he’s been thoroughly brainwashed and those days are long behind him, to the extent that he’s now learned about Truck and Wanda’s engagement and only feels overwhelming tenderness for the two of them and wants the best for their future happiness. I swear that panel two here is the closest I’ve ever seen to someone with heart eyes without actually having hearts drawn in their eyes.

Gil Thorp, 11/11/24

Remember last month, when Gil had a massive heart attack, from coaching stress? Gil does! Gil would rather not have another one. And sure, his assistant coaches simply cannot coax wins out of the Mudlarks, but was Gil ever that good at coaxing wins out of his team, really? Something to think about as he takes a long, luxurious sip of coffee. You know, it really is better when you make it in a French press, but who has the time? Well, Gil does, now!

Mary Worth, 11/11/24

Remember when Estelle and Ed got married, just last week? Well, Dr. Jeff doesn’t think they’re going to last. Just a gut feeling he has, mostly based on their fundamental incompatibility and the way they used Mary’s trite advice to paper over a big gulf in what they expect out of a relationship. We’ll see, though! Ha ha!

Marvin, 11/11/24

Remember in 1776, when the U.S. threw off the yoke of British rule? Well, Marvin clearly doesn’t, as his new boat pledges allegiance to His Majesty Charles III of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. Honestly, it makes me sick.