Main content:

Comics archive! Rex Morgan, M.D.

Quick soapy Wednesday

The Phantom, 6/24/15

The Phantom is spending an awful lot of strip time showing us how the Phantom is walking in plain sight out of the building where he did Phantom-y stuff, but you know what? It gave us the opportunity to meet a dog named “Mr. Handsome,” which I am right now proclaiming to be the #1 best name for a dog ever. Here’s to you, Mr. Handsome!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/24/15

“You’ll be one of the best! Now let me gently touch your own … fleshy … head-sphere … you know what, I can say I’m not so hot on your face, dear. Here, let’s see if I can get Rene to fit you with one of our iron masks.”

Is “I’m gonna get paid” an emotional connection?

Crankshaft, 6/22/15

Happy Monday, everybody! Remember how Crankshaft’s depressed old theater-owning friend hit a pothole and decided to run for mayor? Well apparently that wasn’t depressing enough for the Funkyverse, so here you go: road conditions in Centerville are so bad that that they’re literally paralyzing the populace. The current corrupt administration doesn’t care how many shattered spines serve as a testament to its administrative incompetence, which will make it extra poignant when Ralph inevitably loses.

Rex Morgan, 6/22/15

At last! Mrs. P. is seeing Sarah’s paintings! For the very first time! And … uh … no, wait…

I know this plotline has had a certain “making it up as we’re going along and also forgetting the details of what happened before, or maybe playing an elaborate game of Exquisite Corpse” quality about it, but I’m pretty sure this is the first time the narration box’s information has been immediately contradicted by dialogue. If this were an improv scene — and frankly I have no evidence that it isn’t — I’d be pretty disappointed.

B.C., 6/22/15

A legacy strip like B.C. has of course accumulated characters and running gags over the decades, and Apteryx, who always introduces himself with “I’m Apteryx, a wingless bird with hairy feathers,” has been around for literally as long as I can remember. Not any more, though, as he’s now dead, devoured in an orgy of violence by these hungry predators. RIP Apteryx, we’ll miss you!

“Wait, there’s not a single golf reference in the bible? That can’t be right”

Beetle Bailey, 6/20/15

Let’s ignore for the moment the chaplain’s little joke that he, as a clergyman, has a special right to God’s attentions and support in even the most trivial matters. Let’s instead focus on General Halftrack’s apparently entirely straight-faced question in panel two: “Then what is God interested in?” It’s as if he took a moment to sincerely contemplate what the omnipotent, omniscient creator of all time and space might deem important about one of His creations, a being whom He loves deeply despite the fact that He is as vastly more powerful and wise as we are to the tiniest bacterium, and he thought: yep, golf, definitely golf, I think about golf all the time so probably God does too.

Funky Winkerbean, 6/20/15

“What you should do with your next book is write about how you met and fell in love with Cayla, your current wife, and how that new relationship helped you move forhahahahaha obviously I’m kidding, write about Lisa, always Lisa, write about meeting Lisa and it will seem exciting and romantic at first but a miasma of despair will always be floating over it, always, because Lisa is dead and Lisa is always dead and you’re going to write about Lisa’s death forever and ever.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/20/15

“Oh, good,” thinks Mrs. P., “it seems the bonding transference has occurred more quickly than anticipated! The parents aren’t necessary at all anymore. I’ll have them eliminated.”