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Comics archive!
June, 2008
Fists aplenty as the new week explodes with action! Let’s dive in:
Judge Parker, 6/30/2008
“Cheatham House” is a good choice to publish this novel — there may be rough bloody justice on the dust jacket, but it’s 400 pages of contract negotiations on the inside. Manly stalwart Sam Driver is up to the task, with the proviso he won’t have to kiss any icky girls.
Mark Trail, 6/30/2008
“Unpredictable” Kelly Welly closes the deal on a week of foreshadowing, planting good Moss Green in the good green moss.
The Phantom, 6/30/2008
Ghost-who-trespasses got some ’splainin’ to do.
Dick Tracy, 6/30/2008
Dick’s high tech is stymied again, and all he can do is wave his tiny fist in panel 2. He’s the Ted Forth of crimefighters.
– Uncle Lumpy
Faithful reader shegotzen gets another week of fame thanks to my unworthiness to siphon from the tankful of high-octane snark that is the Comics Curmudgeon comments thread. If you’ve been reading only the posts, try dipping into the comments for the full CC experience — you may not regret it!
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– Uncle Lumpy
I’m late to this party — but maybe a few final panels will help us put the Sunday funnies to bed.
For Better or For Worse, 6/29/2008
For Better or For Worse grinds its way toward another promised finish-line, creaking like a Ptolemaic orrery. Sure, we don’t like ‘em now, but weren’t those kids just adorable back in the day?
Apartment 3-G, 06/29/2008
Hey, Margo remembered her mom’s birthday! Well, as a footnote to closing a deal between Luann and some shady nonprofit. But aww . . . sweet!
Crankshaft, 6/29/2008
Forty years on, little Jeffy Murdoch’s relationship with his mother hasn’t progressed a bit.
Mary Worth, 6/29/2008
Stay tuned for another exciting week of “Mary screens her calls.”
– Uncle Lumpy
Puzzles, kids’ features, horoscopes and bridge columns (I’m lookin’ at you, Omar Sharif!) too often fly under the radar of the comics snarking community, and spread their poison to impressionable readers with impunity. But when a feature oversteps the boundaries of tolerance and simple decency — well, the time has come for responsible citizens to act.
I speak, of course, of The Jumble.
The Jumble, 6/26/2008, 6/27/2008, 6/11/2008, 6/28/2008
Why The Jumble? And why now? The case is clear:
Unspeakable filth — I don’t care who Gwoin is, or how gluid she may be. The brazen tart should keep her noppil to herself, and stop moonik those poor birds. Oh, and Douot? Your fluent Bulgarian doesn’t confuse us: “Tosop stegak bronca” means “Flip a coin and ride her like a wild horse” in any language!
Reactionary gender politics — Think you can force indebted Japanese women to wear an “Owing guild poplin kimono”? Or steal their guns while you burn their forest enclave in a surprise “Aglow bower forced disarm”? Think again, pal!
Mixed messages — “Good stock” may play on Wall Street, but here on Main Street we get mad when somebody wants “To sock God.” So “Go to docks” — and we’ll be waiting for ya, buddy! And don’t think we can’t see that “Blank joint, grubby cougar” is a direct insult to the comfortable lodgings of our beloved Mary Worth.
Hocke your ungle, rothax unnoib! Let poise queue your varied byword! Frankly, you’re nothing to look at.
Should the race always be to the swift, or The Jumble to the quick-witted? The time has come to raise our voices as one, and cry “No”!
PS. The Lumpies are traveling today — Sunday comics this evening!
– Uncle Lumpy
Luann, 6/28/2008
We readers get to see TJ “Jheri” Rictus lookin’ forlorn every six months or so. It helps us tamp back the rage. But merciful heavens, one panel is not enough. Not nearly enough.
Dick Tracy, 06/28/2008
Dick’s been congratulating his own clever self on his 1337 crimefightin’ skillz for a couple weeks now, only to be undone by the night janitor. Is that why he’s moping in a mere “squad room” today, instead of his jaunty “squad pod”?
9 Chickweed Lane, 6/28/2008
Okay, um, Seth neglected Mark while scolding Edda for breaking up with Amos, so Mark, hurt, hinted darkly at infidelity, creating a rift Janice now tries to exploit. Mark values revenge against Seth, whom he loves, but protects the integrity, which she lacks, of Janice, whom he spurns. These people are unclear on concepts like “love”, “revenge”, and — most of all — “gay.” On the other hand, they have “middle school” nailed.
Apartment 3-G, 6/28/2008
Ah. The perfect trio to discover Alan in narcotic déshabillé back at the gallery — Margo for rage, Jack for muscle, and Gabriella for histrionics. Madre de Dios, we’re in for a good time next week! But first — cake!
Judge Parker, 06/28/2008
The second in our series: Who does Judge Parker think he is — Michael Patterson?
– Uncle Lumpy
For Better or For Worse, 6/27/2008
OK, after a full week of this, we get it: Michael’s a brat and Elly’s overwhelmed. But how on earth do those other comic moms do it? Let’s go see!
Curtis, 6/27/2008
Oh, you do not mess with Diane Wilkins — Curtis knows it, Greg knows it, and I’m willing to bet God knows it. I give author Ray Billingsley a lot of richly-deserved grief, but his characters act like people. Who doesn’t know — and secretly fear — a force of nature like Diane?
Funky Winkerbean, 6/27/2008
Linda Lopez-Bushka is quieter, but no less effective. Jinx has been thwarting Bull’s incompetent attempts to bond, so Mom shows them both how it’s done. And engineers a pleasant summer in a quiet house with the soaps on and her feet up.
Crankshaft, 6/27/2008
With this strip, Crankshaft finally reaches the lower limit of what can reasonably be called “wordplay.” Jeff Murdoch there is Ed Crankshaft’s son-in-law, an ineffective, self-pitying drudge who hates his vicious harridan of a mother, yet is moving her into his home, possibly because it’s the only way he can cause her pain. It’s true: Ed Crankshaft is the comic relief in this strip.
Gah, I can’t close the week on that note! Let’s see some bonus panels!
Family Circus, 6/27/2008
Yes, Billy, and “LAME” is an adjective. But look how the tyke’s melon head has grown, and the mouth with it! A few months more and its blackness will consume the entire frame, matching the artwork to the captions at last.
Judge Parker, 6/27/2008
Judge P. comes back after eighteen months and promptly leaves on vacation. Who does this guy think he is — Josh?
– Uncle Lumpy
