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The boys (and girls) of summer very early fall

Hey kids! Before we launch into today’s comics, I need to back up a bit, because I didn’t give credit where it was due yesterday. Seems that Monday’s TDIET was submitted by faithful reader Klipper an his wife, better known no doubt as Zoe‘s parents!

They’ll Do It Every Time, 9/24/07

It’s OK, Klipper! You can just get up and change the channels with the little buttons on the TV set itself, you know. No need to cuss. Kudos on the green plaid pants, by the way — most people wouldn’t have the nerve to pull that off.

And now on to today!

Archie, 9/25/07

Ignoring the glaring problem with the dates (perhaps the AJGLU 3000 refuses to embrace the papist conspiracy that is the so-called “Gregorian calendar”?), I am quite pleased by the vision of these four teens lined up at the Learning Bar, each with an iconic symbol of their favorite summer activity, to wit:

  • Jughead: Surfing.
  • Archie: Naked basketball.
  • Betty: Being carried aloft on a litter by a team of manservants, one of whom is extra-hunky and shielding her from the hot sun with a fringed umbrella of the type employed the by the queens of the Orient in days of yore.
  • Veronica: Putting on her cleverest disguise and prowling the night as the Black Cat, Riverdale’s greatest — and sexiest — rug thief!

Mary Worth, 9/25/07

“Mary, please don’t say ‘I told you so…’” HA HA HA HA HA HA

Poor Drew! He’s managed to botch relationships with two perfectly nice women, he has to go admit to his father’s awful not-girlfriend that she was right, and if this little couch scene is any indication, he probably just walked in on a little Dr. Jeff-Mary make-out time. So in panel two, he’s responding the only way he knows how: by shrugging the most epic shrug that human shoulders have ever attempted. I mean, look at that thing. He’s even putting his knees into it. He’s going to need some long hours at the chiropractor afterwards, but his form is so perfect, it’ll totally be worth it.

Luann, 9/25/07

Actual, not-made-up discussion my wife and I had last night as we were falling asleep:

Me: Hey, does TJ have a job or anything?

Her: He’s a vest salesman! …no, a vest model.

TJ apparently only uses his snazzy sweater vests as formalwear, though: when he’s cooking for his hard-working man, he wears a more casual black button-up white collared number. Today, Brad suggests that his friend might make some extra money by serving as the firehouse’s sexual plaything, a proposal that’s not being dismissed out of hand. Oh, TJ! You’ll do anything to avoid getting a real job!

Apartment 3-G, 9/25/07

Yeah, you know, “family matters.” Like in junior high, when they separated the boys and the girls and showed them filmstrips about “family matters.”

True Margo-watchers know what that vibrating index finger presages. Eric and Nora need to get down on the floor now and cover their heads with their arms if they want to have any hope of coming out of this with their pretty faces intact.

291 responses to “The boys (and girls) of summer very early fall”

  1. Chris
    September 25th, 2007 at 9:26 am [Reply]

    Archie is beginning to rival Gasoline Alley as the dumbest strip of the year.

    GA, way back in the day, was actually good. Now we’ve got demented Vietnam vets bombing basketball courts with meteors and a 100 year old coot attempting to run his old gas station. It’s the equivalent of Joe Gibbs coming back the NFL…there’s a salary cap now, coach, and the players got no respect for management any more…the rules have changed, and there’s nothing you can do about it.

  2. Barry339
    September 25th, 2007 at 9:26 am [Reply]

    MT: Shrley, to show her gratitude, grows to fifty feet tall and stomps the puny humans under her webbed feet.

  3. Steve
    September 25th, 2007 at 9:26 am [Reply]

    The Black Cat versus Cassandra Cat! A thrilling tail as only the comics can bring you!

  4. Uncle Lumpy
    September 25th, 2007 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    Luann — TJ puts a modern spin on the TDIET sweater-vest: a comics classic!

  5. Ribinin
    September 25th, 2007 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    MT “I’m ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille”

    Pluggers He prefers the term “frugal”

    JP If Sam bought the property for $10M 10 years ago, he should be getting more than $25M. Rusty needs to undo a couple more buttons.

  6. rotts
    September 25th, 2007 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    WIZ of ID: “whose” instead of “who’s”? Who proofs this stuff?

    Did I actually achieve #1?

  7. rotts
    September 25th, 2007 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    guess not -

  8. Sarah Marie
    September 25th, 2007 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    Ok, Miss Pititful Pants and her One Tear are really getting on my nerves. I hope Margo gives her something to cry about.

  9. Jometro
    September 25th, 2007 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    Another reason that necro/ classic comic strips are a bad idea. “Classic” Peanuts has 1967 as a date in the distant future re: Snoopy’s dog house demolition. — JM

  10. Uncle Lumpy
    September 25th, 2007 at 9:31 am [Reply]

    #8 Sarah –

    That’s a real tear? Not a prison tat? Lordy, Margo is gonna eat her alive.

  11. Steve™
    September 25th, 2007 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    Did… did Dr. Drew ever manage to get laid with either of his almost-but-not-really girlfriends?

  12. Tukla in Iowa
    September 25th, 2007 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    You can just get up and change the channels with the little buttons on the TV set itself

    Those are buttons?! I thought they were decorations!

  13. Scrog
    September 25th, 2007 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    Five points to the Lockhorns (that bastion of culture) for the bitchslap to Family Guy.

  14. Elmo Sweeney
    September 25th, 2007 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    Please tell me that’s a surfboard in front of Jughead. Otherwise, Dr. “Boulderpants” Drew has some serious competition.

  15. JD
    September 25th, 2007 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    Phantom: “These streets are seldom quiet, men! Be quick!” Yes, because city folk might not notice a masked man on horseback accompanied by a team of loincloth-clad jungle folk toting paint buckets, rollers and scaffolding, but they would notice someone painting over graffiti!

  16. rhonda from kansas
    September 25th, 2007 at 9:46 am [Reply]


    You could have knocked me over with a feather! After all this silence, Shirley finally starts talking and she can’t shut up. And who knew she was an employee??!!

  17. Islamorada Girl
    September 25th, 2007 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    Here comes the platitude beatdown in MW! Several days of Mare’s tonguelashing cliches raining down on Dr. Drew should be almost as good as Margo’s beatdown on Ms. Pity Party 07. Maybe better, since I loathe Dr. Drew with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns. Bring it on, Mare!

  18. Paperback Rifler
    September 25th, 2007 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    MW: I personally think that Dr. Cory the Younger, as a tribute to the late Marcel Marceau, is about to launch into the classic “stuck in an invisible box” routine to summarize Drew’s botched handling of the Dawn dumping. If we’re lucky, he’ll follow up with the classic “pulling an invisible rope” bit, the always entertaining “walking against the wind” act, and the scandalous “taking an invisible dump in an invisible toilet and then using an invisible bidet whose water pressure is set too high” sequence.

    Curtis: No snark, but does anybody else think that Odette is stealing Hyacinth Buckèt’s schtick?

    Gil Thorpè: “Cave Spring”?! The Milford football team is having trouble beating “Cave Spring”?! Is this the same “Cave Spring” that prepares for football games not by actually playing football but by having their players face a cave wall and watch the cast shadows of other people playing football? How the heck could Milford be having trouble with . . .

    . . . What? . . . You mean that’s not how they . . . Really? . . . Hmm, I guess I was thinking of something else . . .

    . . . Never mind!

    Slylock Fox: Lesson of the Day: Robots love their ice cream. Just file that away for future reference when the machines try to take over.

  19. Dan Coyle
    September 25th, 2007 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    FW: Hah hah, Lisa is dying, so Les alleviates things by insulting her.

  20. Stephen
    September 25th, 2007 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    What’s with the robot head peeking up from Betty’s crotch? Did they make the Woomba a reality?

  21. rich
    September 25th, 2007 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    Now where have I seen Veronica’s bikini design? Oh, that’s right! What big eyes she has!

  22. Dik-Dik Vendetta
    September 25th, 2007 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    MT: That goddam ungrateful duck Shirley thanks Mark and John, but does she thank Homer? Hell no!

    And whose dad are the ducklings talking about (and how can they talk through the shell)? Why would he fire them? Mysteries abound. But, I think I have solved the riddle of why Shirley is a male duck. Turns out, if one can count on these here Wikipedias, that 19% of nesting mallard couples are homosexual. Maybe “Shirley” and his partner adopted a clutch of Muscovy eggs. Next up, a Phil and Ted stroller and a condo in Logan Circle!

  23. Les
    September 25th, 2007 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    funky cancerbean: I note the shading over Les’ crotch in panel 2 and I fear to speculate about what sort of accident happened in panel 1.

  24. Andrew
    September 25th, 2007 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    I can’t believe I’m the first person to post with a fit of the giggles over the phrase “rug thief.”

  25. cola
    September 25th, 2007 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    Ok. I’ve been lurking on this site for…well…a long time. And I simply must pipe up to say that I cannot wait to see the epic bitchslap that is about to be served out on A3G.

    I expect it will end with Margo finally getting a chance to unlatch her jaw and swallow them whole.

  26. holli
    September 25th, 2007 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    That’s a surfboard? Not a striped tongue depressor?
    You sure?

  27. AtomicDog
    September 25th, 2007 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    13 – I’ll bet, though, that Lois is getting a hell of a lot more action than Loretta is.

    I’ll bet that Loretta has never needed a safety word in her life.

  28. Tom
    September 25th, 2007 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    Can someone please explain today’s Shoe for me?


    I know they like to laugh at their own jokes, but what does that mean???

  29. Sal Paradise
    September 25th, 2007 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    Pluggers : Pluggers don’t get laid on the first date.

  30. Inspector Dim
    September 25th, 2007 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    Garfield: It keeps getting worse. First Jon admits to carnal desires for a pig, and today… um, ew. What’s tomorrow, Grandma?

    Garfield is recording all of this, of course, to present to Liz at an opportune moment.

  31. Chyron HR
    September 25th, 2007 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    TDIET – “Any Mom Will Tell You”? Isn’t that a Steely Dan song?

    HOWCUM–When Barflemagne was brewing up his–heh heh–”squid goulash”, he was a cham-peen in everyones’ eyes. BUT-T-T-T when the fuzz come calling, like, we mean, they’ve joined the human race! ‘Nuff said… need I say more? Etc, etc…

    “G-Gulp! Get this mess outta here or else we’ll all end up in jail!”

  32. Anonymous
    September 25th, 2007 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    5 – I’m going for a punchline formed from Plugger, date, tight and wad – and maybe panties, too.

  33. Inspector Dim
    September 25th, 2007 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    Is it me, or is there something ever so slightly lame about a superhero who swings from palm tree to palm tree, in broad daylight, after working overtime to foil a minor criminal, while complaining to himself about TV personalities?

    Yeah, it’s me. Nothing could be lame about that.

  34. Calico
    September 25th, 2007 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    Veronica’s boobs and tummy have their very own alien-esque visage. Stare, stare!

    Jughead – um, er, are you sure about that, Josh? Looks like a Dr. Cory moment to me.

    Luann – T.J. looks surprisingly like Candace, who is the only likeable character in FOOB aside from Apehead.

    3G – Duck and cover, duck and cover…
    (apologies to Shirley)

  35. Sal Paradise
    September 25th, 2007 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    BB: My guess is that the centerfold is a picture of Ann Coulter in Tranny World magazine.

  36. McManx
    September 25th, 2007 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    MT – Now that it’s confirmed that Shirley can talk all we need is a rabbit to jump into the frame and launch into a spirited “duck season — wabbit season” debate.

    MW – Drew’s hunched shoulders is due to his spine crawling at the sight of his hapless father pinned to the couch by Mary in full menapausal craving.

    Archie – “Jughead! Is that a surf board or are you just glad to see me…?”

    Luann – Getting gayer by the second. By the end of the week, they will be making out on the couch.

  37. Inspector Dim
    September 25th, 2007 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    MT – There’s only one explanation: Shirley has been talking to Homer this whole time.

    “Thank you, Mark. I couldn’t have done it without you. And Homer. Dear, sweet Homer. You’re the finest man in the world. Do you know I want you to do next? Go pick up that brick. Yes, that one. Now KILL, Homer! KILL!”

  38. Dennis Jimenez
    September 25th, 2007 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    I’d love to see an animation of Veronica with Hypno-Toad eye boobs – tha’d be great!

  39. Nekrotzar
    September 25th, 2007 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    I can’t believe Veronica stole my rug. It held the room together, man!

  40. Edgy DC
    September 25th, 2007 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    Those of us who can get our eyes off Betty’s Booty for five seconds know that Juggy don’t surf, so Archiephiles may have to categorize this strip as part of the Archipocrypha. Actually, I’m pretty sure what Juggy has there is a giant prop screwdriver.

    We see an interesting lack of Veronica interest, by the AJGLU 3000, having no more imaginatinon in generating the rich and vain Veronica’s presumably endless bikini collection as more than “black vertical stripe on a white field” and “white vertical stripe on a black field.”

    Something like…
    If date=even
    then bikini(ronnie)=b/w
    Else bikini(ronnie)=w/b

  41. Inspector Dim
    September 25th, 2007 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    #35 Sal Paradise: Unless the centerfold is of a big fat stinky sergeant, Beetle’s not interested.

  42. jakester
    September 25th, 2007 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    I’m pretty sure Eric and Nora were actually discussing Family Matters. I’m guessing the conversation went something like this:

    “Say, did Urkel have a catchphrase?”

    “What do you mean, Eric?”

    “I mean, all one-note black sitcom stars have always had a catchphrase, right? You know, something like “Whatchoo Talkin’ ‘Bout” or “Dy-No-Mite!” So Urkel MUST have had one, but for the life of me I can’t figure out what it was.”

    “Hmmm, maybe his inimitable voice was a sort of a play on the idea of a catchphrase?”

    “No, he must have had … Margo – I didn’t hear you arrive!”

  43. Squeak
    September 25th, 2007 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    TDIET: Someday, maybe, grocery stores will be open 24 hours a day, and 7-11s will be open longer than 7 to 11.

  44. Krazy Kat
    September 25th, 2007 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    Luann-Later, though, Brad got freaked out when he hears T.J. in his room screaming “Leave Britany ALONE!!”

  45. Krazy Kat
    September 25th, 2007 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    Did I do thaaaatttt?!”

  46. Inspector Dim
    September 25th, 2007 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    #42 jakester: Hilarious! Ah, Urkel. I had forgotten you. Did he, in fact, do that? Yes. Yes, he did.

  47. bats :[
    September 25th, 2007 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    FOOB: Why, oh why, do I want to see Mewwy with a couple dozen bottles of pills scattered around her as she lies in bed and desperately tries to escape the Neverending-Story-as-Narrated-by-Michael?

  48. the_mgt
    September 25th, 2007 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    Long-time lurker, first-time poster.

    Just wanted to give a hearty congrats to Klipper and Mrs. Klipper on their TDIET success.

    Wayne, NJ respresentin’!

  49. The Great Ka-Floopa Gush
    September 25th, 2007 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    What is Archie doing with his hands?

  50. The Divine O’F
    September 25th, 2007 at 10:31 am [Reply]


    Ah Clem: good catch! I wonder if this is a new theme entering the zeitgeist. Will we henceforth all be eating peanut butter and jellyfish?

    Odinthor: “I got tired of that ‘I’ll be the one wearing the red carnation’ stuff!” That’s excellent. Submit it.

  51. Gold-Digging Nanny
    September 25th, 2007 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    9CL: No, FormerPriest, she didn’t push you over; she kicked you over. There’s a difference. She was probably hoping to do greater physical damage to you. Because she hates you now.

    DT: Ha ha! The Baron has a death wish!

    FC: Ha ha! Jeffy got hit in the face!

    Hateeachothers: Ha ha! Leroy is stupid because he watches Family Guy!
    Wait a minute. I watch Family Guy.

    MT: I have something to share with you guys that I think you can all relate to. I was reading comics with my boyfriend this morning, who supports my comics habit, and he actually laughed at the fact that Shirley the transgendered duck was talking! He thought it was hilarious! And then I told him that Jack Elrod does it all the time, and told him I would show him a talking beaver (planning to show him the strip from last month when Cherry’s vagina had a word balloon coming from it). And so I went through the CC archives, only to find that Josh hadn’t blogged about that particular strip, and went to the Mark Trail archive on Chron, only to find out it only went back a month, and then I had to tell him the joke, and it wasn’t funny.
    This special Comics Curmudgeon Moment brought to you by Mark Trail brand snack mix, the trail mix that feels like a punch to the head. Pow!

    And now it’s time for another Slylock Fox Six Differences as found by the Gold-Digging Nanny.
    1. In the panel on the right, the scientist only thinks he has the robot under his control. The robot is actually stealing the ice cream for himself! Mwuhahahaha!
    2. In the first panel, the “Clank Clank” sounds are coming from the robot. In the second panel, they are coming from the ground, a la Mark Trail.
    3. Left — Haagen-Dazs. Right — Blue Bunny.
    4. In the panel on the left, the scientist is about to get a waffle cone full of poetic justice, because that particular ice cream stand will be closed by the Health Department later that day due to high levels of guano.
    5. The robot on the right is made of an alloy high in zinc content, which will lead to a rapid corrosion rate. Its legs will fall off at an inopportune moment during the middle of a bank heist.
    6. The boy on the left is actually a lawn gnome.
    Six Differences by the Gold-Digging Nanny is brought to you by Blue Bunny Ice Cream.

  52. JamesinMaine
    September 25th, 2007 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    MW: I’m not usually into the silver foxes, but Mary is looking pretty fine on that couch, all flushed and randy. For the first time since I’ve been reading this strip I thought, “Mary: Yeah, I’d probably do her.” Of course, the post-coitus advice and constructive criticism I’d receive on my skills (or lack thereof) would probably send me over a cliff.

  53. gh
    September 25th, 2007 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    Yesterthread cleanup on aisle 2!

    #182 odinthor –

    I’d go with #8

    #190 Poteet –

    Piranhas! BWAHAHAHA! I’m booking my ticket in advance for that one.


    BWHAHAHA, Josh! Drew does The Shrug! It’s the latest craze, kids! Forget about The Freddy! Do The Shrug!


    Not anything particular to today’s presentation, but you just have to believe Bob Weber, Jr. really loves his job. A crazy scientist and a giant robot eating ice cream? A little kid clearly having a coronary at the sight of it? You get the feeling BW, Jr. just likes making this stuff up, then realizes he has to do something with it, so he erases a little here and there so he can submit it as a “Six Differences.” But the real joy is just dreaming up insane scenarios.

  54. Joe
    September 25th, 2007 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    Is Brad secretly Bert from Sesame Street? His head is alarming similar in shape and size.

    I also really like TJ’s outstretched pinkie finger. I assume that’s to symbolize that they’re dining on true haute cuisine?

  55. The Great Ka-Floopa Gush
    September 25th, 2007 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    Whoa, what happened to Betty’s bikini bottom in that strip? All that’s left is the tan lines.

  56. Calico
    September 25th, 2007 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    #18 – Keeping Up Appearances – nice ref there.

    “Bouquet, not Bucket!”

  57. thelordofthemanor
    September 25th, 2007 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    Regarding Archie, 9/25/07, I hope that thing sticking up in front of Jughead really is a surfboard! Maybe he has his eyes closed because he’s thinking of Veronica in her Black Cat mask.

  58. t007
    September 25th, 2007 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    MW: Quick Mare! Give him THE LECTURE!*

    *In the Bandor tongue!

  59. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    September 25th, 2007 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    I didn’t even notice Veronica’s eyes until Josh pointed it out.

    And now, comics-related linguistic nerdery for 9/25/07:

    Gasoline Alley. “We’uns”? Is that related to “youns” or “yins” or however you want to spell it? Are these people supposed to be from WV or western PA?


    One Big Happy. I’m not in elementary education, so I don’t know whether or not “action verb” is a term that’s used in the classroom, but if you want to make a distinction between “action” verbs and other kinds of verbs, you’re going beyond grammar per se. I’m not sure a grammarian qua grammarian would refer to “action” verbs.

    Consider a sentence containing a made-up word, like “I kaboobulated my cat.” You don’t have to know whether “kaboobulating” requires exertion, or whether the cat notices it. It’s a verb purely because of where it is in the sentence, and what other words could be substituted for it with the sentence remaining well-formed.

    Of course, teaching kids about “action verbs”, and how those aren’t the only kind of verbs, could be useful in making the point that a verb doesn’t need to correspond to an “action” in the strictest sense. “Occur” and “exist” are still verbs, even if they’re not as easy to draw a picture of as “run” and “kick” and “jump”.

    I guess my reason for this long tangent is something like the following. Sure, it’s good to teach kids grammar. But of course, in doing so, you often run the risk of the kids thinking you’re doing something dry and nitpicky and boring. So if you do teach them grammar, then for heaven’s sake, don’t teach them stuff that not only could be perceived as dry nitpicking, but also is slightly “off” when compared with how professional linguists actually view language!

    If “action verb” is (as I suspect) a term that exists only in the elementary classroom, then why teach it to children at all?


  60. Winnie Winkle
    September 25th, 2007 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    Has anybody checked out Blondie. I think today’s strip qualifies as UNSPEAKABLE FILTH!

  61. Bobdog
    September 25th, 2007 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    That is not shrugging, that is Drew doing his tribute to Marceau Marceau by miming the oppressive burden of despair he is carrying as he lumbers towards the inevitable platitudes of biddiness that await him.

    You will note that it is not actually Drew who speaking (as that would not be in keeping with the mime tradition), but rather it someone hiding behind the curtain.

  62. Dicky
    September 25th, 2007 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    51, Gold-Digging Nanny: They’re still there; the chron just removed the oh-so-convenient links. Here’s the “beaver” strip:

  63. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    September 25th, 2007 at 10:51 am [Reply]

  64. BigTed
    September 25th, 2007 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    Today’s TDIET couple is genuinely fascinating. Howcome these people have shelves and drawers overflowing with hundreds of loose batteries, all of them apparently Cs and Ds? Whazzadeal with them keeping even more batteries in the freezer? Why’nahell do they live in a town without a single all-night grocery, drugstore or convenience store? What’naworld is with those outfits, which convey the fashions of 50 years ago even better than “Mad Men”? And how’nearth has the woman managed to live with her husband all this time, when he goes off on a fuming, swearing rampage every time there’s a petty inconvenience?

    “Every time”? I don’t think this could happen even once.

  65. gh
    September 25th, 2007 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    #59 Skullturf Q. Beavispants –

    As I recall, verbs are either “transitive” or “intransitive.” “Action” or “being.” “Platonic” or “Aristotelian.” Public education went downhill when they stopped using the third set of descriptors.

  66. odinthor
    September 25th, 2007 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    Gil Thorp — Hey, wait a minute! The cartoonists are practicing some malign form of numeromancy or, worse, simple mathematics, upon us. Look at the numerals in the last two panels. “3” “14” “78”. If, going from left to right, you add the first two digits (that’s, like, “3” and “1,” dude), it equals the rightmost numeral on the shirt of the center player; and then, if going from right to left, you subtract 7 from 8, it equals the leftmost numeral on the shirt of the center player. Obviously we are having some sort of satanic spell placed upon us; the probable cure would doubtless be something nearly as dire, such as reading religious-themed instances of Family Circus continuously for a week.

    Luann — No question how T.J. feels about doing things for the guys at the fire station. Even his little finger is stiffly erect

  67. mattt
    September 25th, 2007 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    #60 man, that woulda been so much better if it had been Blondie instead of Dagwood.

    Also, some interesting Mary Worth news in today’s New Adventures of Queen Victoria. I say “interesting” instead of “good” because, well, all her meddling leads to all kinds of hijinks so, were this true, I dunno. I might miss it.

  68. B
    September 25th, 2007 at 11:02 am [Reply]

    Looks like Cassandra Cat has some competition. She looks more like a raccoon, though, which isn’t nearly as sexy.

  69. Gold-Digging Nanny
    September 25th, 2007 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    Thanks, Dicky!

  70. Dik-Dik Vendetta
    September 25th, 2007 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    Gold-Digging Nanny #51: On the theory that it’s better late than never, especially when it comes to talking beaver jokes, here’s the relevant Mark Trail.

  71. Moss_Moses
    September 25th, 2007 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    Big Brothers is sick. They even suggest a location for Rex and Niki to “fly fish” in pursuit of the elusive trouser trout.

    Shirley is quite the loquatious “little” duck. It was impressive before when she yelled “aaagh”, but now she is fluent in conversational English, along with Donald, Daffy and Baby Huey.

  72. kat
    September 25th, 2007 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    A3G: I really like that Nora is still carrying her purse in panel two. To an indifferent observer it might say “That poor woman is so desperately in love, she doesn’t have time to put her bag down.” To me it says: “Now, Margo has a weapon to beat Big Bird and the One Tear Wonder with.”

  73. SmartPeopleOnIce
    September 25th, 2007 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    Ah, yes. Another glimpse into the inner workings of the AJGLU 3000:

    try {
    funny = MakeJoke();
    if (!funny)
    throw Boobies();

    (er, technically I guess this is AJGLU 3000++)

  74. Gabacho
    September 25th, 2007 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    A3G – I notice that Nora’s Lee Press on Tear ™ fell off in the second panel.

    Mary Worth – Mary: “Sit down and tell me all about it, Drew dear. Be careful of the wet spot.”

    Sally Forth – I think Sally is bringing her mother to stay so Ted will get off his delicate ass and get a job, any job, just to get out of the house. I don’t actually care why she’s coming, just bring her on.

    FooB – Meredith is getting too weird looking for words. They are really doing the full Jon Benet with her.

  75. Dik-Dik Vendetta
    September 25th, 2007 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    I see Dicky beat me to it.

  76. Ghost Riders in the Foob
    September 25th, 2007 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    Gaah… I think Batiuk is guest-drawing Baldo this week.

  77. Jamus The Bartender
    September 25th, 2007 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    Hi folks. Jamus here. Internet is down thanks to dopes at Charter,so no Cassandra snorting coke stories for a bit as this is coming from my blackberry and my thumbs hurt. Will contact SSB re Madison soonest. Ms. Grundy handled B and V sitch well,most teachers would freak, Eric and Nora are dead couple walking, MW right as usual, congrats Klipper on TDIET. FOOB sucks like cheerleader and not in a good way.

  78. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 25th, 2007 at 11:29 am [Reply]

    Kongratulations, Klipper. And I actually like the plaid pants. The young Rod Stewart would have worn them with pride.

  79. Cheeky Wee Monkeys
    September 25th, 2007 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    I guess if I lived in a kitchen all my life I’d know more than just how to set the stove on fire too.

  80. Trout
    September 25th, 2007 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    RMMD: Poor Niki — looks like “Mr. Peak” is going to invite himself to the “Fly Fishing” lesson — he knows “just the place” Yuk!

  81. Calico
    September 25th, 2007 at 11:33 am [Reply]

    #30 – which Liz – the poor woman stuck in Garfield or Liz, the Patter of Foobs?

  82. Dingo
    September 25th, 2007 at 11:36 am [Reply]

    After seeing today’s most recent update of Kyle’s Bed & Breakfast, a comic that more closely resembles a gay telenovela that anything else, I have to wonder about the character’s hair, especially in that final silhouette. It looks like something out of a bad Nicole Kidman movie — which, granted, is most of them.

  83. SmartPeopleOnIce
    September 25th, 2007 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    Alternate iconic symbol of their favorite summer activity:

    Archie: Tour de France

  84. Calico
    September 25th, 2007 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    #58 – *Biddy-Who-Walks*

  85. StoutHearted
    September 25th, 2007 at 11:44 am [Reply]

    They say the beat of a butterfly’s wings will cause a chain of events culminating in a hurricane across the world. If that’s true, thanks to Margo’s finger the Chinese are in for some very nasty weather.

  86. Tekende
    September 25th, 2007 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    42: Gah! Beat me to it.

    MW: I love Drew’s pose there. Looks like something out of an 80s sitcom: “Whoops! Looks like I screwed up AGAIN!” *Shrug with a BOI-Yoi-Yoing noise*

    *laugh track, complete with hooting and cheering, plays*

  87. Kevin
    September 25th, 2007 at 11:52 am [Reply]

    “The boys of summer very early fall” is actually the best line of iambic pentameter I’ve read in quite a while.

  88. Edmund Schluessel
    September 25th, 2007 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    True Margo-watchers know what that vibrating index finger presages.

    Margo’s sex life?

  89. The Divine O’F
    September 25th, 2007 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    I’m too sleepy to snark today, but would like to observe:

    MT: This is the first time I have ever witnessed the jackelrod ball making conversation.

    FOOB: Okay, current old story line sucks, but the more I think about it the more I look forward to future NOW strips showing in graphic detail Lynn’s loathing of Rod. I like all the suggestions so far, including ED, and would like to add the ultimate indignity to this dentist/train freak: his model railroad goes off the tracks and knocks out all his teeth. Oh, yeah!

  90. commodorejohn
    September 25th, 2007 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    Archie – There is nothing I could add to what Josh has already described. Usually I’m at least able to take a different angle on it, but today he has managed to say the only thing that could be said. I high-five you, Mr. Curmudgeon.

    BB – o_O There’s that thing with Killer’s hat indicating his arousal again.

    DTM – *insert joke about previously noted resemblance between Mr. Wilson and Dennis here*

    FOOB – Great, now Michael’s actually taking over one of the panels. It’s still coherent, at least, but I’m willing to bet it made more sense with the missing panel added in. Also, it seems that Elly was always a meddling nag. And does anyone else find it freaky that Michael has such a godlike memory that he can remember every event from a two-week period of his early life? About the only thing I can remember from that period in my life is learning to read (and stunning my mom by being able to pronounce “acute ventricular atachycardia” when I was looking over her shoulder at one of her nursing textbooks – take that, mister Genius Patterson!) That and having my dad read Tintin to me when I was sick. Good times, but I certainly can’t remember the full details of even one day, let alone a two-week period.

    FW – As if yesterday’s reminder that at this time last year they were having sex wasn’t bad enough, now we get reminded that she was “trying to get [him] to take advantage of [her].” Is there no good thing that Funky Winkerbean can’t make miserably depressing? No, probably not.

    Garfield – Must…gouge…out…mind’s…eye…

    GT – You know, I admit to not knowing much about the ideal football-player physique, but I, personally, have arms that can reach down past my waist, and I find them quite useful.

    Lockhorns – Usually this strip escapes my notice, even though it’s on my reading list. However, today’s message that only stupid people like Family Guy makes me want to track down Hoest and Reiner and give them the world’s most powerful high-five.

    Marmaduke – Hmm, let’s take a look at Marmaduke. Why not? It couldn’t possibly be worse than Saturday’s strip, right? …Oh. My. God.

    MT – …is the duck wearing duck lipstick? Am I really seeing that?

    MW – What’s more loserly than failing spectacularily at two-timing and losing both girls in the process? Confessing it to your dad and his sort-of-lover, that’s what.

    RMMD – Last panel…Rex’s big grin…”fly fish…” *head asplode*

    SM – “The Shocker is finished!” “And Maria courageously filmed it all!” Is Stan Lee shooting for the prestigious Rex Morgan Totally Unsubtle Innuendo Award?

    TDIET – Okay, typical TDIET, except for the inexplicably British dad. Huh?

    WOI – I’m not sure how to interpret this.

    Zits – There are an unusual number of strips whose authors deserve high-fives today, and Zits is one of them. On a side note, I never got to do an essay on the Norse gods in high school.

  91. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    September 25th, 2007 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

    I want to retreat somewhat from the linguistic pedantry I expressed earlier re today’s OBH. I hadn’t heard the term “action verb” and uncharitably assumed it was a pointless neologism, but some further research changes my mind somewhat. Now that I also see the terms “helping verb” and “state-of-being verb”, it actually seems like a reasonable way of teaching children what a “verb” is.

  92. kurt
    September 25th, 2007 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Is Eric telling Margo a fib or something? Seems like his nose is growing longer in the third panel.

    And does Margo’s warning finger suggest a Conniption will shortly occur?

  93. Anna Nimity
    September 25th, 2007 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Just delete the word “meals” from panel two, and voila! All is revealed.

  94. Darkefang
    September 25th, 2007 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Eric, can you smell what The Margo’s finger is cooking?

    Archie: Ignoring the fact that it isn’t actually summer anymore, I get the summer activities that are portrayed here: surfing, volleyball and suntanning. What I don’t get is why Veronica’s activity – smoking giant doobies and sniffing glue while wearing a Zorro mask – is limited to summer. It seems like that could be fun all year long.

    BB: The only possible meaning of today’s Beetle Bailey is that Beetle is into midget porn.

    Blondie: The Vibramania 9000-Z? I think I hear Blondie nailing a “closed forever” sign on the front door of her catering business.

    DT: “Tracy! It’s the Baron! What’s going on?”

    Hell if I know! I accidentially glued my eyes shut!

    Me too! Damn!

    FC: That’s what you get for flinching when you try to catch the ball! Now get back in front of that pitching machine!

    FW: Funky Winkerbean is making me nauseous, and not just from the writing this time. Lisa is decomposing before our eyes. By the end of the week, we’ll be able to see skull peeking through her face.

    Luann: Once again, I have to protest Brad’s frequent assertions that firemen don’t know how to cook.

    Phantom: So there’s a white guy on a horse ordering a bunch of black guys in loincloths to do his bidding? Nothing objectionable there…

    RMMD: “Niki said he wants to fly fish… I know just the place!”

    It’s called the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport!

  95. Drunken Housewife
    September 25th, 2007 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

    What drives me crazy about this “Luann” is that TJ explains his origin story to Brad, his lifelong friend. Shouldn’t Brad have noticed, say ten years ago, that TJ lived with his grandmother? If TJ was in the kitchen all the time with a gourmet granny, wouldn’t Brad, given his chowhound tendencies, have been mooching up a storm?

    Is Brad truly so stupid that he never noticed who TJ, his best — and probably only — friend lived with? Perhaps this vivid illustration of his idiotic inability to notice anything beyond the dinner plate in front of his face explains his lack of progress with Toni over the years.

  96. Chert the Chort
    September 25th, 2007 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    AJGLU 3000: Wow, I never actually thought I’d get to see Veronica in a gimp mask. I’d always hoped, but I never really expected such a gift. Vive l’Archie!.

  97. horseucameinon
    September 25th, 2007 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    “Is that a surf board Jughead, or are you happy to see me?”

  98. Old Man Muffaroo [Old Man Kip W]
    September 25th, 2007 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    AD – A humorous reference to the legendary weight-loss pills that were found to contain tapeworms.

    Blondie – We went to “The Big E” ths weekend (Eastern States Exposition), and the place had all these chairs you could put a quarter in and get a downright good foot massage. One of the little girls with us tried it, and the shaking motion made every LED on her shoes light up at once.

    DtM“What does Mr. Wilson do all night when regular people are sleeping?” He’s in the bathroom, Dennis. You mean you can’t hear him screaming from your house?

    DT“Tracy” It’s the Baron! What’s going on?” We’ll know in one minute, so tune in two weeks from now to find out.

    FC – Poor Jeffy! Everything in his experience led him to believe that a ball on the cheek was soft.

    FW – The middle panel’s dialog looks like part of a poem… hmmm, what rhymes with “dancer”?

  99. Old Man Muffaroo [Old Man Kip W]
    September 25th, 2007 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    GA – Walt has to leave the gas station, so he puts this bucolic comedy team in charge. Gosh, I wonder what will ensue?

    Luann – If TJ can get on as a sexual plaything at the fire station, his future is made. He had his name legally changed to advertise his legendary Toe Job.

    Marmaduke – Heh! The dog’s standing in the wrong direction to interest Winslow!

    Nancy – The teacher isn’t giving Sluggo the fish eye for falling asleep in the middle of the letter “Z,” but for the profanity he wrote between “will” and “not” in the final line. It probably had something to do with sex, as that almost always sends the Slugster off to new Z-land.

  100. Pozzo
    September 25th, 2007 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    “How much would guys pay me?”

    “Depends on how long your hose is.”

    (No? Maybe I should have gone with the “sliding down the pole” motif?)

  101. Pozzo
    September 25th, 2007 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    Oh — one hundredth! (Don’t laugh; these days, that’s not bad.)

  102. 12xuser
    September 25th, 2007 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    Love the way Margo marches in flashing the Loser sign in the first panel. By the third panel she’s pulled in her thumb, going for the fist. No mere slap in the face for poor Eric.

  103. Colinski
    September 25th, 2007 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    Archie: “We’ll lose the summer getups when you lose the western schoolmarm Halloween costume!”

  104. Dik-Dik Vendetta
    September 25th, 2007 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    Divine O’F #89: Unfortunately, we can only guess at what the jackelrod was saying, as it was drowned out by the nattering nancy boy (or is that nancy duck?) Shirley.

  105. TB Tabby
    September 25th, 2007 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

    There’s already a master thief calling herself Black Cat. Clearly, Veronica and Felicia must have a wrestling match to decide who can call themselves by that name.

    Also in The New Adventures of Queen Victoria: Ding, dong.

  106. Dennis Jimenez
    September 25th, 2007 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

    90 – Did you hear the one about the transvestite duck arrested for shoplifting a lipstick? He claim he just wanted to put it on his bill (rimshot – and some kind of drum thingie, too).

  107. peaches
    September 25th, 2007 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    There should totally be a Dr. Drew posing contest. Put him right next to quotin Margo and have an “Accentuate the Obvious” competition

  108. dale
    September 25th, 2007 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    95 Drunken Housewife – Luann
    Right! Righter than a true fact.

    28 Tom – Shoe
    Jurassic Park: the car’s a dinosaur. More like a ’57 Chrysler family product. My best guess a Dodge. I took my first driver’s test in a ’57 DeSoto. For those of you too young to remember, the pushbutton gear selector was real.

    18 Paperback Rifler – Curtis
    Hyacinth’s neighbor Elizabeth has a daughter “at university” and went through a conversational ordeal like that.

    I have a tv which really needs the remote to select a specific channel. The buttons will scan up and down, but the thing only stays on a real signal. I could never get it to stick on 3 which is what you need for the cable feed.

  109. Mischief Maker
    September 25th, 2007 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    Wow! Margo’s filled with such demonic rage that her hair is extending and contracting between every panel.

  110. A New Day
    September 25th, 2007 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

    On Mark Trail, if you move a nesting duck, will she abandon her nest? (I’m really asking here.) And can you not then hatch the eggs under lamps?

  111. Anonymous
    September 25th, 2007 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

    95 – Isn’t drunken housewife a form of Kung Fu – the one where you can get harangued to death.

  112. Lynn J.
    September 25th, 2007 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    My Dearest Fable,

    Love is mutual nagging. And gossiping about ancient family politics. And threatening to blow up the TV to get someone to spend quality time with you. This is the love I bear you.

    We nag because we care. Elly loves her mother, so she nags her about her appearance, knowing that if she can succeed in making her mother more fashionable, other people will see her as the lovely woman Elly sees. Elly loves her father and wants him around a long time, which is why she nags him about smoking. And Elly’s mother loves her, and she knows that she will have more opportunities in life if she finishes college, especially if she finds herself in a troubling financial situation, due to, I don’t know, HER HUSBAND LEAVING HER and HER ONE TRUE LOVE REFUSING TO REQUITE HER AFFECTIONS and … and … *sob sob sob.*

    Hand me that Kleenex, will you please? BVVVHHHSQUSSSH. *sniffle sniffle* Thanks. Where was I?

    Oh yes. You see, we nag because we care. And when Michael relates this history of nagging to his daughter, he’s passing on the legacy of caring to the next generation.

    So you see, when you confront me with all my faults, I know it’s because you really love me. Which is good. Because it means you’d be happy to spend some quality time together. And I don’t have to resort to threats of violence to make that happen, as Grandpa Jim did in yesterday’s strip. And I’d hate for anything to happen to your goats.

    Adoringly yours,

    Lynnie J.

  113. Old Man Muffaroo [Old Man Kip W]
    September 25th, 2007 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

    Ducks on nests. We had ducks at our old house, and they would often nest in the papyrus out front. The mother would sit on the eggs a while, then, like as not, one day she’d be somewhere else, and the eggs would sometimes be broken, or sometimes they’d just be all alone — perhaps the mother knows they won’t hatch, I don’t know, maybe they just can’t keep their mind on it. For a while, we despaired of the local flock, but in the last couple of years we were there, they began to get fruitful and see the ducklings through to hatching and beyond. Many lived to be undistinguished adults.

    Bottom line: these ducks weren’t all that dedicated, it seemed. Maybe I’m wrong about that.

  114. Mike Lee
    September 25th, 2007 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

    Don’t let Margo’s vibrating finger distract you from her lazy eye in the last panel. I think she’s channeling Columbo.

    “So, let me just get this straight, you came over here…”

    “No, she came over here. I live here.”

    “Right, my mistake. So she came over here for what? To borrow some sugar?”

    “No, we were talking about family matters?”

    “Oh, family matters. Right. Last time I talked to a girl about family matters she ended up as Mrs. Columbo, if you know what I mean.”

    “Well, I can assure you detective, this was nothing of the sort.”

    “No, of course not. I would never suggest that. So, anyway, you came over here…”

  115. teenchy
    September 25th, 2007 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

    # 76: If so, then where are the smirks?

    I’m actually cool with the Latino WWII vet story arc and with Baldo generally as the strip has slowly grown on me. I’d be cooler still if I didn’t have the nagging feeling that the arc was timed to coincide with the debut of Ken Burns’ documentary The War.

    When it first hit our papers I saw Baldo as the Latino equivalent of Jump Start, a/k/a The Cosby Show for the 21st Century in terms of its banality. Now, unless precocious sister Gracie’s being featured, it’s tolerable if not laugh-out-loud funny. Even wacky Tia Carmen’s grocery store romance/joining the Bermudez family backstory made her more of a likeable character and less of a stereotype. As a car-crazy teen with a job, I find Baldo a nice change of pace to Zits’ Jeremy, who often comes off as a Bluetooth-enabled version of Art Linkletter’s “Kids Say the Darnedest Things!”

  116. SecretMargo
    September 25th, 2007 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    Luann: I look forward to tomorrow, when TJ’s extended pinkie becomes progressively less tumescent as Brad makes it clear that the “payment” will be in US dollars, not reach-arounds (though the two currencies are almost at 1:1 at the time of this writing).

  117. bats :[
    September 25th, 2007 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    86. Tekende: yup, MW is screaming for a sit-com soundtrack. Or something:

  118. parkyakarkus
    September 25th, 2007 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    Come to think of it, the last time I saw an A-list star wear a sweater vest in a movie was Clint Eastwood in “Dirty Harry”. Maybe TJ will bring the “look” back…?
    Hmmm…sweater vest and mad skillz in the kitchen…Alton Brown, watch out!

  119. The Divine O’F
    September 25th, 2007 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

    117 bats: BWAHAHAHA! Especially for Dr. Jeff’s comment.

  120. Blondie
    September 25th, 2007 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

    I’d like to congratulate Shirley the Duck on her first speaking role. Cocktails all around! … Oops sorry, Shirley.

  121. Angry Beaver
    September 25th, 2007 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

    This is very OT but I had to share some good news!!

    My oldest nephew and his wife had a baby boy last night.

    Noah Daniel came in at 7lbs 3oz, 28 1/2″ long and arrived at 9:03pm! All are doing well!

  122. Sanity Clause
    September 25th, 2007 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

    #115 Teenchy: The Baldo arc is exactly timed to coincide with the PBS series “The War”. Cantu was on “Talk of the Nation” on NPR yesterday discussing the strip

  123. Little Guy
    September 25th, 2007 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

    GA: Uh, just how old *is* that cat, and does it have any skeleton whatsoever?

  124. Gabe
    September 25th, 2007 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

    Apparently no one remembers Friends and Chandler’s fabulous sweater vest collection.

  125. Lynngineering
    September 25th, 2007 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

    Archie: Certainly evident in this strip, someone has to program the AJGLU 3000 to differentiate Miss Grundy (is that even her?) as more than Jughead-in-drag. The program has to return snaggletooth and mole with hair, etc… at least whenever Miss Grundy and Jughead appear in same strip sequence.

    Otherwise I continue to love these examples of the sequences produced by the AJGLU 3000 that always seem like the whole thing is just a re-organized black-and-white-barcode.

  126. Jadis White
    September 25th, 2007 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

    Beetle Bailey – So no one else has noticed that this strip just solidifies the idea that Beetle isn’t into girls? If it was a centerfold of SARGE, now that’s another matter, it would seem. (Everyone knows Miss Buxley is just Beetle’s beard.)

    Between this strip and Luann, I have reached my hoyay quota for the day.

  127. mattt
    September 25th, 2007 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

    #114 Hahahaha! Spot-on, Mike.

  128. Sans Sense
    September 25th, 2007 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    Nikki: “Why couldn’t we just go fishing rather than spend the day filling out paperwork?”
    Rex: “Don’t disappoint me Nikki…”

  129. LTBF
    September 25th, 2007 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    How does Mike have such vivd memories of a trip he took when he was five (?)?

    Why is Ellie so damn concerned with her mother’s hairstyle or choice of clothing color? I guess being rude to one’s mother is a family trait. Anyone else remember a strip from a couplre of years ago when they were at the train station with April? April was dragtailing along and Ellie yelled at her to get her butt in gear.

    Liz came unglued, telling Ellie she shouldn’t talk to April that way since she was almost a grown woman. (She was about 14 at the time).

    Instead of bitch slapping Liz, which I will do to my son if he ever spoke to his mom that way no matter how old he is, Ellie cowed down and apologized to Liz.

    That was another reason I came to despise the strip and Liz in paticular. Alonfg with her kicking Eric’s rent paying roomate to the curb so she wouldn’t have to sleep with Eric but shack up anyway so people would think she was a roadside going whore but still a virgin.

  130. LTBF
    September 25th, 2007 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    124-Chandler and Joey were TV’s version of Brad and TJ or Beetle and Sarge. Never spoken, but you never doubted the true nature of their relationship.

  131. Brown-eyed Girl
    September 25th, 2007 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    121. Angry Beaver. Congratulations to you and your family. Remember to spoil that child rotten. After all, he’s not YOUR discipline problem.

  132. Dennis Jimenez
    September 25th, 2007 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

    Oscar and Felix, Laurel and Hardy, Ichey and Scratchy, Huntley and Brinkley, Hall and Oates, Proctor and Gambles, the list is endless

  133. LTBF
    September 25th, 2007 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    SpongeBob and Patrick.

  134. Sans Sense
    September 25th, 2007 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    Bush and Rove…

  135. gh
    September 25th, 2007 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

    Donner and Blitzen

  136. Brown-eyed Girl
    September 25th, 2007 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    135. gh No! Really?

  137. willethompson
    September 25th, 2007 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

    Smith and Wesson (why else was one named for a lubricant?)

  138. Gabe
    September 25th, 2007 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    Funk and Wagnall.

  139. Mountain Mama
    September 25th, 2007 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    Abbott and Costello! Terrance and Philip! Ham and eggs!

  140. gh
    September 25th, 2007 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    #136 Brown-eyed Girl –

    You don’t really want to know about the reindeer games, do you? I thought not.

  141. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    September 25th, 2007 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

    Good news: The Cassandra Cat T-shirt made it to my lady friend in Prague! And it apparently fits purrrfectly! (I won’t remain fully convinced until I see pictures, though.)

  142. Mountain Mama
    September 25th, 2007 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

    Today’s MC: Not all women are shallow. I was in my late teens when my mom asked me what kind of man I was going to marry. (I had said my youngest sister would need someone to boss around and my younger sister would need someone exactly like her–so far, I’ve been right on both counts.)

    I said I would need someone I could have an intelligent conversation with.

    Of course, if I could do it over, I’d settle for someone with loads of cash. Curses upon you, student loans!

  143. Mountain Mama
    September 25th, 2007 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    Also, being a proud native of the Mountain State, I’ve never heard anyone say “we-uns.”

  144. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    September 25th, 2007 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

    If the universes of Slylock Fox or My Cage dealt with controversies of 20th-century physics, I think it would be cool if one of the big debates was between Albert Einswine and Niels Boar.

  145. benzo
    September 25th, 2007 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

    BB: More like “It’s okay if you like them at all.” Am I right people?

    DT: In the continued interest of slowing down the action in this comic as much as humanly possible they have plunked the third panel from yesterday into todays cartoon. At this rate, the bomb should explode by sometime late November.

    FW: Yikes! Never has the smirk looked more grotesque than in panel three. That shit’s going to give me nightmares.

    H&L: Someone’s going to have to explain this one to me. That punchline makes no sense no matter how many ways I read it.

  146. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    September 25th, 2007 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

    Do you say “yins” or “youns” or anything like that in WV? I’ve heard that they do in Western PA (though I’ve never been there).

  147. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    September 25th, 2007 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

    And is it true, in your experience, that folks in West Virginia will tend to choose a Pittsburgh team as their favored sports team? And do you call soft drinks “pop” rather than “soda” or “coke”? Sorry for all the questions, but I call it research (now if only I can get grant-giving institutions to agree!)

  148. True Fable
    September 25th, 2007 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

    #82 Dingo – Well, now you’ve got me interested in reading Kyle’s Bed and Breakfast! That one example was better art-wise and story-wise than just about anything the Chron’s got to offer.

    Well, except for JP’s bustiness, MT’s quackery, RMMD’s lunacy and MW’s wackiness. And the inherent violence of A3G, of course. But these things are lampoonable. KB&B actually looks followable. Thanks, Dingo!

    Tomorrow, if any of those guys end up naked in bed with another guy, I’ll just think of them as alternate universe Beetle and Sarge.

  149. Non-Shannon
    September 25th, 2007 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

    In honor of everyone’s favorite nebbishy villain, I give you this link. (

  150. gh
    September 25th, 2007 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

    #143 Mountain Mama, #146 Skullturf Q. Beavispants –

    This may be a false memory, but I seem to recall from my days in SW VA, just south of Bluefield, WV, that people would say “us-uns.”

  151. SecretMargo
    September 25th, 2007 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    139, et al. : TJ and Maxx, before Maxx moved away to pursue a lucrative adult film career, leaving TJ to set his sights on Brad.

    And Bert and Ernie, of course.

  152. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    September 25th, 2007 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

    #150 gh — Wasn’t Bluefield the home of John Nash?

  153. True Fable
    September 25th, 2007 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

    #145 H&L is a public service warning to kids who still read the funnies, or stoned kids who could use an easy laugh to set them off: The pudgy fast fried-food eating Flagston kids will have to make do with home cooking that won’t clog the arteries too much. Oh, the horror! Imagine, preparing food by boiling it! That Dad is so out of touch. He’s like, Lame, Daddy-O.

    #146 Skullturf – When I was a kid, we had neighbors who said “y’uns” and “We’uns” and talked with the most corn-pone accent you ever heard, but they were deep-woods Okie stock. They were very nice, though, and tried not to stare at us when we spoke as they tried to figure out what we said. Fables love to mimic and my sisters were good at utilizing other accents on a whim just to fuck with people’s minds. I had very little accent until I came here to Georgia, and people stared at me and swore I was from Connecticut or Upper New York State. God knows why, I drawl when I need to.

  154. Dingo
    September 25th, 2007 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

  155. Chloe The Cat
    September 25th, 2007 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

    I have a good friend in WV and she says “you-uns”
    as in “you-uns come on in a sit a spell”
    I love her! I could tell you some stories…

  156. Josh
    September 25th, 2007 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

    #147 Skullturf — Surely you are familiar with this handy map, which I found in the course of the research (yes, I do research!) for this entry.


  157. Uncle Lumpy
    September 25th, 2007 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

    #144 SQB –

    Albert Einswine and Niels Boar

    Ooh, ooh! Freeman Bison! Enrico Vermi!

  158. gh
    September 25th, 2007 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

    #152 Skullturf Q. Beavispants –

    Us-uns has no idea.

  159. Hot to Trotsky
    September 25th, 2007 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

    90- MT- Technically, the duck is wearing beak stick.

  160. gh
    September 25th, 2007 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

    #154 Dingo –

    That is sublime! You continue to outdo yourself. I can’t wait for cliff-diving Mongolian ponies!

  161. True Fable
    September 25th, 2007 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

    Lynnie Baby!

    Woman, no one who threatens the goats has a chance in Hell for the wonders of the Fable.

    That’s so like you, my syrup-blooded Northern Light with a 2 watt brain; attack a cherished institution while declaring protestations of love all the while. But it won’t work with me, o wielder of lame puns and a massive glutteus maximus. Flattery and promises are lovely but once you start in on my beloved pets, then you lose all hope of ever knowing the hot passion and strong but gentle arms of The Fable. The Fable is not for you, Hater of Goats!

    I know a chupacabra owner when I read one, and if little Robin isn’t a dead ringer for the one in the illustration, then I’ll slap your auntie.

    Truman A. Fable
    Don’t make me send Fido after you, bitch.

  162. Non-Shannon
    September 25th, 2007 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

    Sifl and Olly.

    Oh, and Dingo (154), MARVELOUS work!!!

  163. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    September 25th, 2007 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

    #156 Josh — I sure am. Incidentally, that map reveals that eastern Wisconsin, alone among the northern Midwest, stubbornly refuses to say “pop”. Not only that, but — at least in my experience and that of my friends — people from Wisconsin can’t always be counted on to be hockey fans in the same way that people from Detroit or Minneapolis can be. Are those Badger Staters in denial about being part of the Great Lakes region?!

  164. Brown-eyed Girl
    September 25th, 2007 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    156. Josh. Too cool!

  165. Loopina
    September 25th, 2007 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    Pixburgh representin’: it’s “yunz” or “yinz” – definately more of a z than an s. And they do say pop, which still makes me laugh b/c I didn’t grow up here. Check out – basically you talk like you’re soused or have some sort of tumor growing on your tongue.
    Dem Stillers is 3 an’ Oh!

  166. Josh
    September 25th, 2007 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

    #163 Skullturf — I’m totally fascinated by the two yellow (soda) blobs in the sea of midwestern blue (pop). To me, it would seem to indicate that much of the initial growth in the St. Louis and Milwaukee areas came from the east coast, rather than the surrounding countryside. But why should this be true of these cities and not Chicago?

    Additional data point: I grew up in Buffalo, in a very blue county; a good friend of mine grew up in Rochester, only an hour or so to the east, but pretty much right on the soda/pop interface. He claims that the terms were very much class markers there: if you said “soda”, it meant you were sophisiticated/educated/richer/better.


  167. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    September 25th, 2007 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

    But I bet even the sophisticated ones still said “RAAH-chester”.

  168. Mountain Mama
    September 25th, 2007 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

    I grew up just west of Morgantown, WV and I lived in the Pittsburgh area for a year. I love Pittsburgh.

    Skullturf, you should go to Whenever there’s anything from Pittsburgh on TV, I always wait to see if I can hear that accent. It makes me feel all warm inside.

    I believe “you-uns” or “yinz” has made it below the Mason-Dixon to my part of the state. Again, I’ve never heard “us-uns” or “we-uns.”

    I grew up saying “pop” as well as everyone else in my area. I got out of that when I was with my first husband, a transplanted Marylander who thought it sounded idiotic. I was very malleable back then, so now I say “soda,” and get weird looks from my relatives who think I’m too big for my britches.

    Folks in the north central part of the state generally root for the Pittsburgh teams. Folks in the southern part tend to root for Cincinnati teams. Those in the eastern part of the state, more specifically the Eastern Panhandle, root for the Redskins, etc.

    If you want anything more specific, Skullturf, let me know.

  169. Uncle Lumpy
    September 25th, 2007 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

    #166 Josh –

    In Milwaukee before 1970 or so a “water fountain” was a “bubbler” — but people from Chicago or even Madison had no idea what you were talking about.

    There were lots of Germanisms in the local patois — “where the streetcar bends the corner round”, and “down by Mitchell Street”, for example. Don’t know if “soda” is one of them.

  170. Mountain Mama
    September 25th, 2007 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

    “Where the streetcar bends the corner round”? That’s poetry! Fantastic!

  171. Zamboni_Rodeo
    September 25th, 2007 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

    #94, Darkefang:

    If your Archie snark doesn’t garner at least a COTW runner-up slot, I for one will be very disappointed.

  172. Ukulele Ike
    September 25th, 2007 at 5:32 pm [Reply]

    Gold Digging Nanny @ 51: …my boyfriend….supports my comics habit

    Okay, that is just weird. What a sick relationship.

    RMMD: Speaking of which, let’s look at this week’s episode of “Don’t Peek, Mister Peak!”

    Oooooooo! Now I’m soaping my arms and legs! And NOW I’m scrubbing my firm lean loins! DON’T PEEK, MISTER PEAK!!!!

  173. Josh
    September 25th, 2007 at 5:32 pm [Reply]

    #168 Mountain Mama — My wife grew up in Washington County, PA, west of Pittsburgh, and as a kid said “pop”, but (because her parents were college-educated slickers who moved in from out of town) not “yinz.” She and her brother love to tell the story of a woman they saw on the local news who had been rescued from a burning house by the fire department who said “Yinz have been great! God bless yinz!” It’s a phrase we like to drop into casual conversation.

    When I went to college, many of my classmates were from the New York City area, and I was sort of shocked (and still am, in retrospect) by how strong the reaction was to me saying “pop”. My feeble attempts to say “Come on, it’s just dialectical variation” were met with hoots of derision, and as an impressionable 18-year-old, I too eventually switched to “soda.”

    Last year, though, I visited a friend in Minnesota, where even the supermarket aisle signs say “pop”. You wouldn’t see this in Buffalo, I don’t think; even though everybody there says “pop” when speaking, there’s an unspoken understanding that it’s “really” called soda, and so that’s almost invariably what you see in printed matter. Anyway, being among pop-speakers awakened my long-dormant pop pride, so I have decided that I am bringing pop back, at least in my own speech. My pop-traitor wife has failed to join me in my crusade, but I persist.

    #167 Skullturf — and yeah, like those RAAHHHchesterians, we Buffalonians like to have a paaaahhhp with our friend Baaahhhhb. Apparently I get my nasalness back real bad when we’re in Buffalo, according to my wife; I can’t hear it at all myself


  174. Acme
    September 25th, 2007 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

    Explaining today’s Lockhorns:

    Leroy is not watching Family Guy. He is actually watching Peter Griffin doing whatever antic he’s up to today, which means that Jerry Springer is likely somewhere nearby.

    This also means that Hoest & Reiner are getting meta. Isn’t that the fifth sign of the Apocalypse?

  175. Mordock999
    September 25th, 2007 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

    #95, Drunken Housewife is right. God I’d love to hijack the “Luann” strip, just for a day. TJ would die a horrible agonizing death in panel one. And Brad would finally get a clue. The madness HAS to stop NOW!!


    DEATH to TJ!

  176. True Fable
    September 25th, 2007 at 5:54 pm [Reply]

    #175 Mordock999 – I’d be happy if TJ went into the firehouse to offer his caboose for a train ride, and he was NEVER SEEN AGAIN. XD!

    Then Toni would move in with Brad and the DeGrootz parents would have a cow but eventually learn to just shut up and allow their son to live his own life. I mean, in real like Toni would naturally just stay friends and wouldn’t go anywhere near the freaky Zippy the Pinhead Wannabe, but her and Brad sharing a house together is SO much better than another week of Bernice, The Bitchiest Best Friend in the World. sheesh!

    Unless of course, Evans decides to let Brad come out so he and TJ can be the first major comic strip to show a gay couple actually co-habitating in day to day life instead of simply standing around in their landscaping business TALKING about their commitment like in FOOB.

    And Sarge and Beetle have that whole S&M thing going and one does not disturb the classics, I guess. So yeah, Brad and TJ would be a real first.

  177. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    September 25th, 2007 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

    Baahb the paahp-drinker in Raahchester exhibits what linguists have called the Northern cities vowel shift. There are a few vowel sounds that shift (not just the short “o”); the places where you’d be most likely to find all the vowel shifts would apparently include Syracuse, Rochester, Buffalo, Detroit, and Chicago. (I’ve only been to Detroit once, but I love to imitate how a tour guide on the Detroit river talked about the “boat going back to the dock”.)

    Now I’m really curious to start looking at restaurant menus and signs in grocery stores here in Toronto to see what soft drinks are called. Most people say “pop”, but my impression (which may or may not be completely accurate) is that a sign in a grocery store aisle would probably say “soft drinks”, the menu at a middle-of-the-road or upscale restaurant would most likely say “soft drinks”, but the menu for a neighbourhood pizza-and-wings delivery-type place would be more likely to just say “pop” (as in “18 WINGS & 2 POPS FOR 5.99″). But now I’m thinking I should start taking notes.

  178. Mountain Mama
    September 25th, 2007 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

    Josh: Washington, PA! Also near and dear to my heart. It’s called “Little Washington” by my parents and the folks back home. Why? To differentiate from the Glorious Washington in DC! That Washington is about five hours away and almost never traveled to by these same people, but “Little Washington” it was, nonetheless.

    My mom and aunt would go Christmas shopping “up to Little Washington (or “Warshington”)” when we were kids and we were so upset we couldn’t go. Washington had to be the greatest place ever!

    With the “soda” and “pop” thing, I’ll never forget something that happened when I was a senior in college. I was in marching band and we did a parade in Clarksburg, WV, around the end of August and it was hot. This guy in my row was a freshman from the Baltimore area. After the parade, he walked over to a drink stand and the guy asked if he wanted “a pop.” The freshman was mystified and thought the guy was going to punch him. He had never heard it before.

  179. benzo
    September 25th, 2007 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

    #153 True Fable: I made a typo. I actually meant to refer to Herb and Jamal. Thanks anyway though.

  180. True Fable
    September 25th, 2007 at 6:06 pm [Reply]

    I’ve always called it “soda pop”.

    But I’m a Fable. Do you trust me? Well, do ya, punk?

    I am also tail-end of the era of the “five and dime” “penny candy” and live operators on the line without a recorded message first.

    And of course in Greater Metropolitan Roopville, all carbonated drinks are called “Cokes”. I don’t care if it’s a Mountain Dew; “goddammit it’s called a Coke or I’ll drag you to the woodshed and tan yor hide, ya damn Westie.”

  181. True Fable
    September 25th, 2007 at 6:09 pm [Reply]

    #179 benzo – Oh.

    H&J – He’s going to swear on what? A Bible? or Swear on and on and on?

    Brain hurt, Mondo.

    It was easier when it was H&L, dude. Their stupidity is transparent. H&J are just fucked up.

  182. Josh
    September 25th, 2007 at 6:10 pm [Reply]

    #177 Skullturf – Wow, I never even though about Toronto in this context (it’s in a whole different country don’t you know). I sort of think of it as “Canada’s New York,” so I assumed Torontonians would say “soda” like East Coast sophisticates (o cruel internalized self-hate!), but of course it’s perched on a Great Lake, so why wouldn’t be a pop town?

    My guess is you’d see “pop” on hand-written signs in Buffalo wing joints too.

    On this note, I was intrigued in my recent trip to the Pacific Northwest that Vancouver, like Seattle, says “pop”. And yet Blue Jays caps abounded in Vancouver, while there was nary a Mariners cap to be seen. I found that kidn of interesting.

    #178 MM — When I was a kid (let’s say in the 7-10 range, so like 25 years ago or so) my dad and I were visiting my grandmother in LA, and I asked the waiter at our restaurant what kind of pop they had, and he became more baffled than I had ever seen an adult become before. It emerged that he thought I was asking about popsicles. That was a one of the seminal Not Everyone Is Like You lessons I received in my life (lessons that everyone should receive early and often, as far as I’m concerned).


  183. Hysterical Woman
    September 25th, 2007 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

    FOOB: Elly was always a bitch. Go back to university!
    Lockhorns: I smell a lawsuit!
    MF: Forgot to copy and paste the Angry Strawliberal.
    Momma: Nooo! The Rant is spreading!
    Marvin: A sundae as dark as his soul.
    Better Half: Oddly enough, not a coloring mistake.

  184. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    September 25th, 2007 at 6:27 pm [Reply]

    Growing up in Canada, we were warned to be careful when ordering “iced tea” at restaurants in the US: you might get something that’s not sweet!

  185. Mountain Mama
    September 25th, 2007 at 6:27 pm [Reply]

    Josh: I remember those lessons. I was about that same age. Unfortunately, my Not Everyone Is Like You lessons resulted in many tears when Everyone Else tormented me for being so different from them. I was a geek before geek was cool.

  186. D'oh
    September 25th, 2007 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

    Another Pixburgher here…

    Two quick stories
    When I was a kid someone driving by asked where East Liberty was. I had no idea what he was talking about because he didn’t pronounce it esliberty. I told him there wasn’t wasn’t any place by that name (it was just down the road from where we spoke).
    Later in the late sixties our family moved briefly to Florida, in a science-class project me and my lab partner need some supplies. I told him I would get the gumbands, he said What?, I said gumbands..this went on like a bad comedy routine until I finally realized they are called rubber bands.

    Oh and I refuse to say ‘Yinz’

    Back to your regularly scheduled snark….

  187. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    September 25th, 2007 at 6:33 pm [Reply]

    By the way, I’d probably be exaggerating if I said everybody calls it “pop” up here. But nobody calls it “soda”. Our slightly more formal/sophisticated term for it would be “soft drink”.

    “Soda” might mean “soda water”, which is carbonated, but flavourless and clear.

  188. Trilobite
    September 25th, 2007 at 6:39 pm [Reply]

    I find it disturbing that the mass-produced automatons in A3G are discussing “family matters.” The android designated “Nora” has nothing more in common with the “Alan” model than my toaster has with my microwave.

    Now, if we want to entertain the notion that soulless machines which come from the same production molds and manufacturing plants are indeed part of a “family,” then it should be Nora and Margo discussing “family matters” here. The Nora-unit is, after all, just a refurbished Margo-unit with a different wig, a leaky hydraulic line in its optic sensor, and a defective Rage Processor.

  189. LightSyrup
    September 25th, 2007 at 6:59 pm [Reply]

    I call it soda. I think most people around here call it pop, though. Anyone else from Oregon that can verify or not? I’m not very observant ;p.

  190. Dean Booth
    September 25th, 2007 at 7:08 pm [Reply]

    Congrats to Mr. and Mrs. Klipper for your TDIET triumph!

    FW: I just can’t believe how maudlin this strip is, and it just keeps sinking lower and lower. It reminds me of Ratso peeing on the bus to Miami or Papillon eating roaches in his prison cell. Hmmm, Dustin Hoffman was in both those movies… To go for the trifecta, reading FW is like watching the dental scene in Marathon Man.

    Dance of Death

  191. bats :[
    September 25th, 2007 at 7:11 pm [Reply]

    154. Dingo…ah, poetry in motion!
    Violent, crashing, destructive motion.

  192. Mordock999
    September 25th, 2007 at 7:18 pm [Reply]

    #176 True Fable–Funny you mentioned the Bitchy Bernice. Its about time for her long lost brother Ben to show up again. Just in time for Luann to go into her usual fawning/drooling routine and Bernice to get throughly pissed off about it. I fear this strip is gone into one big continous pointless loop…,


    DEATH to TJ!

  193. Citric
    September 25th, 2007 at 7:24 pm [Reply]

    Is it me, or are the comics dirtier than usual today?

    Blondie is having sex with a chair, Jon and Doc Boy were in each other’s pants, Mallard Filmore is attempting to imagine Bob Dylan in lacy undies, Marmaduke is trying to get his owner to consent to some hot, hot, canine loving, and Rex Morgan’s looking for tips on where to go “fishing”. Next thing you know Mary Worth and the elder Doctor will actually approach something resembling intimacy – as close as a cold hearted spawn of the underworld could get anyway – and…I dunno where I’m going with this anymore. The perversion has destroyed my mind.

  194. AhClem
    September 25th, 2007 at 7:28 pm [Reply]

    #163 SQB -
    I’ve lived in all 3 places: grew up in Detroit (pop), lived for a while in northeast Wisconsin (soda) and now reside in the Twin Cities (pop again). Josh’s map shows that all 3 areas are in the 80-100% category for their respective termimology.

    From my experience, people in Wisconsin can be rabid fans of hockey and other sports (not counting the Packer fans, who aren’t all that different in their fervor from religious cultists). In fact, they can be fans of nearly anything as long as copious quantities of beer are involved.

  195. Josh
    September 25th, 2007 at 7:33 pm [Reply]

    #185 Mountain Mama — Well, the Not Everyone Is Like You lesson is different from the Everyone Is Not Like You lesson. The latter is no fun, and I’ve been on the receiving end of more of those than I’d like. If more people got the former kind of lesson, there might not be so many of the latter, if you follow me.


  196. benzo
    September 25th, 2007 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

    #181 True Fable- Well, at least I’m not the only one.

  197. Gabacho
    September 25th, 2007 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

    Here in Miami, it’s neither soda nor pop but un refresco, por favor or una gaseosa depending on where you emigrated from or learned your Spanish.

    Of course, it’s some neighborhoods, it’s a seltzer or a Tab.

  198. Cheeky Wee Monkeys
    September 25th, 2007 at 8:03 pm [Reply]

    In high school, someone said that the term “soda” was “so American!”

  199. Frank Parsnip
    September 25th, 2007 at 8:05 pm [Reply]

    MW: With that shoulder shrug of epic proportions, Dr. Drew at least deserves one of those muted trumpet bits where the tones go progressively down: “BWAAAAAAMP-BWEMP-BWUUUUUMP-BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH”.

    Or if not that, then a TDIET all his own. Oh yeah!!!!

  200. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    September 25th, 2007 at 8:07 pm [Reply]

    #198 CWM, if by any chance you’re in Toronto, do you want to come to the Toronto meetup? Check the forums. (Or is that “fora”?)

  201. teenchy
    September 25th, 2007 at 8:09 pm [Reply]

    # 122: Thanks for that, Sanity Clause. There was an op-ed piece in my local newspaper today (Philadelphia Inquirer) that lamented Burns’ lack of attention to Latinos not only in The War but also in his other documentaries, particularly Baseball.

    I’ll follow your link before I offer any additional opinion on topic, though I will stick to my opinion that the strip often serves as a nice contrast to Zits.

  202. Anna Nimity
    September 25th, 2007 at 8:48 pm [Reply]

    True Fable: Yesterthread – Thanks for protecting my tender and sensitive lil’ heart. But those little ads are really messing with my head. Today it’s an ad for “Christian Comics.” How did we get from “Dirty E Cards” to “Christian Comics?” Eeergh! I’m sooo confus-ed! And what is an NSFW link? I promise I won’t click it. PROMISE. Just curious. Really. Thanks! :-)

  203. Rusty
    September 25th, 2007 at 8:49 pm [Reply]

    I thought Ted and Sally Forth were the first depiction of a gay couple’s domestic life in the comics?

  204. Canuckguy
    September 25th, 2007 at 8:54 pm [Reply]

    How on earth is Archie’s basket/volley/genericball balancing (because it’s obviousliy balancing on the edge of the Learning Bar)? My only suspicion is htat Josh is indeed right about Archie enjoying genericball in the nude (and one suspects Jughead is just as passionate about nude surfing, where you’ll hear “hang eleven!”), and the ball is balancing, well, somewhere else. Which makes me wonder why the girls aren’t smiling much, much bigger.

  205. Anna Nimity
    September 25th, 2007 at 8:59 pm [Reply]

    Did you notice how Jughead has his eyes closed and is clutching the desk with intense concentration? As if he’s well, you know. Got his other had on his …. surfboard.

  206. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    September 25th, 2007 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

    #204 Canuckguy, what about you? Are you in Toronto? Want to come to a fun Curminion meetup? Check the forums.

  207. Anna Nimity
    September 25th, 2007 at 9:03 pm [Reply]

    Rrrrgh! “hand” not “had.”

  208. Spiny Norman
    September 25th, 2007 at 9:03 pm [Reply]


    Can Shrewdinger’s Cat be far behind?

  209. Smaug
    September 25th, 2007 at 9:07 pm [Reply]

    1. Archie: Nice perspective — what kind of Escherian nightmare of a desk are those poor saps sitting at, anyway?

    2. Luann: would it kill you, Evans, to show grown-up fireman Brad drinking a (gasp) beer once in a while, instead of the trusty hard-earned glass of milk?

  210. Ribinin
    September 25th, 2007 at 9:07 pm [Reply]

    #202 Anna Nimity That stands for Not Safe For Work. That if someone were to see what you were viewing they might (ok, would) think it was inappropriate.

    I always click ’cause I work from home.

  211. Uncle Lumpy
    September 25th, 2007 at 9:08 pm [Reply]

    #202 Anna -

    Not Safe For Work

    Sometimes abbreviated, “Dingo.” Either way, do not click at work!

  212. Mel
    September 25th, 2007 at 9:09 pm [Reply]

    Can’t believe there is no mention of tonic as an alternate soda word…nobody from South Boston out there? Soda is for cocktails everything else is tonic.

    And how about milkshake? Most of the East Coast here calls it a frappe — except for Rhode Island where it is known as a cabinet.

  213. Uncle Lumpy
    September 25th, 2007 at 9:10 pm [Reply]

    Ahh, curses upon you, Ribinin!

    And cooties upon me!

  214. Ribinin
    September 25th, 2007 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

    #213 Uncle Lumpy – I have learned that this is a definite “you snooze, you loose” forum. I have great material, but by the time I have caught up reading the comments, all the good stuff is taken.

    I may have to take drastic action and try snarking at 10:05 pm Pacific. That will be tough since I am a morning person.

  215. Onqelos
    September 25th, 2007 at 9:20 pm [Reply]

    A3G: “True Margo-watchers know what that vibrating index finger presages. Tim and Nora need to get down on the floor now and cover their heads with their arms if they want to have any hope of coming out of this with their pretty faces intact.”

    It’s still Eric who needs to beware. Not until a future episode will Tim recover from his amnesia and return from Tibet to NYC, where Margo will kill him out of spite.

  216. Mel
    September 25th, 2007 at 9:25 pm [Reply]

    By the way, all the earlier talk of vibratin’ fingers, chairs, and what have you, has me wondering about the Mr. and Mrs.’ stockpile of C and D batteries in TDIET. Maybe Mr. travels leaving Mrs. alone with a lot of…um…time on her hands?
    (Not implying that the cartoon Mr. and Mrs. are in any way avatars of the real Mr. and Mrs. Kipper. Just wondering if Scaduto was having a dirty dirty Monday that went right under the radar.)

  217. Sensitive Poet
    September 25th, 2007 at 9:30 pm [Reply]

    I have not been disappointed. This Luann is So. Gay. I anticipate more scenes of blatant domesticity and implied fireman orgies, all under the thinnest veneer of T.J. being Brad’s “roommate,” and giving hot, sweaty firemen lots of “delicious meals.”

    Oh, and my Archie interpretation was more like,

    Betty: being orally serviced by a superannuated robot.

    I swear, it’s all there, I’m not just innuendoing where there’s nothing to endo in.

    But after “Dirty dirty Monday,” perhaps I don’t have to excuse myself.

  218. dale
    September 25th, 2007 at 9:33 pm [Reply]

    Lived aroung Pittsburgh for 23 years.
    The only reference to “bubbler” that I remember was a hand-written sign: Please don’t spit in the bubbler.
    It wasn’t even that style of drinking fountain.

    Never heard “yinz”. Mostly heard “yunz.” The occasional “you-uns” sounded like the speaker was trying to say “you ones.”

    I sorta knew where Sliberty was. Probably past a whole bunch of churches, especially if you started from Wilkinsburg.

  219. Josh
    September 25th, 2007 at 9:33 pm [Reply]

    #215 Onqelos — good lord, I can’t believe it took 215 comments until someone noticed that blatant and terrible error on my part. I fixed.

    We don’t even know what Tim looks like! Maybe he’s totally different looking from all the other A3G guys! Or, um, not.


  220. Poteet
    September 25th, 2007 at 9:37 pm [Reply]

    A3G — In the case of third-panel Eric, the face is not so pretty. Bolle and Trusiani, your male characters really do look better from the front. The less often their noses poke out in profile, the better. As for the overused cheekbone lines, I give up — like the head bobbles, they’re here to stay.

  221. Bunnë
    September 25th, 2007 at 9:43 pm [Reply]

    169 – Southeastern New England — that is, Rhode Island and eastern Mass — also say “bubbler”. I’m told it was a brand name of some sort.

    Meanwhile, my in-laws are Iowan… ask Poteet what it means when “the stool is broken”. That threw me for a loop.

  222. lizardmess
    September 25th, 2007 at 9:44 pm [Reply]

    I love the Comic Curmudgeon so much. I can’t read the comics in the paper anymore without expecting them to be followed by creative snark funnier than the dialogue of the actual strip. Unless I’m reading Mallard Fillmore ironically.

  223. monsieurjohn
    September 25th, 2007 at 9:49 pm [Reply]

    How can it take two people to write Archie, and neither of them noted that Jughead is interested in pencil surfing? …It sounds dirty, but it isn– ok, it probably is.

  224. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    September 25th, 2007 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

    Dingo, I’m sad. Your crashup smashup mashup didn’t work for me. I can find the point to click, but nothing happens when I do. I tried both Firefox and MSIE. See this brick? This is a sad brick. I’m so sad I’m gonna go fling myself at Lisa Moore’s skull so I can absorb her cheerfulness.

  225. Poteet
    September 25th, 2007 at 10:25 pm [Reply]

    # 221 — Bunne, I’ve been an Iowan for thirty years, but I didn’t grow up here and it makes a difference. My “Iowan” is an acquired language. Based on what I’ve heard from a few native speakers, I’m guessing that it means the toilet is broken, but I could be wrong.

  226. Poteet
    September 25th, 2007 at 10:32 pm [Reply]

    # 214 — Ribinin, I have concluded that my only hope of doing any kind of original snarking is to snark as soon as I can get access to the new comics, which means I stay up til midnight against my better judgment on some nights. Okay, most nights. It’s sad, really. And even then, when I look at something like MW, I usually feel stunned into silence.

  227. Helena Handbasket
    September 25th, 2007 at 10:35 pm [Reply]

    #149, Non-Shannon: I’d like to maintain the illusion that Mr. McFeely never knew what “the shocker” was, despite his name.

  228. Dingo
    September 25th, 2007 at 10:44 pm [Reply]

    #211 Uncle Lumpy: I am shocked – shocked! – that you would refer to me in such a manner. I, sir, am the essence of purity and virtue incarnate.

    I had an hour tonight so I put together another animation. It’s clean but your boss might wonder what you’re doing if you play it at work.

    Dancin’ Drew

  229. Razmytaz
    September 25th, 2007 at 10:56 pm [Reply]

    224 – SSB: I couldn’t get the crashup to work, until I did a left click on the pickture, and “ran” it manually. The first time I got some music, but when I ran it again I got the speeding car and the apotheosis.

    I was hoping for Aldo… working from beyond the grave he is the patron spirit of unrequited stalkers everywhere.

  230. Onqelos
    September 25th, 2007 at 11:16 pm [Reply]

    219: I proudly await my No-Prize!

  231. LTBF
    September 25th, 2007 at 11:18 pm [Reply]

    I’ve always called soft drinks “coke” regardless of brand name.

    My wife calls a garden hose a “hose pipe”.

  232. LTBF
    September 25th, 2007 at 11:21 pm [Reply]

    You’re a Plugger if you work at home so you can look at dirty web sites while working

  233. blase
    September 25th, 2007 at 11:25 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: …After the “painless” procedure, Nikki is quite overjoyed that they’ll be fly fishing for rainbow trout.

    RAINBOW trout, get it? …And the entendres keep coming! (no pun intended)

  234. King Folderol
    September 25th, 2007 at 11:46 pm [Reply]

    MW – Ah, now comes the boring 4-6 weeks of Mary Worth where we have to listen to Mary spout platitudes that don’t completely make sense. Drew isn’t shrugging…he’s trying to lock himself into a catatonia he learned in med school so he doesn’t have to hear any of it. Well played, Drew. Well played.

  235. Electro
    September 25th, 2007 at 11:48 pm [Reply]

    I’ve lived in Toronto, Boston, and eastern Wisconsin. So I went from Pop to Soda (and occasionally Tonic) to Soda. And now back to Pop. Funny, because of that I’ve always thought of Pop as particularly Canadian, but I see from that map that it isn’t. Also because of the Boston/Wisconsin childhood, I thought Bubbler was a common American word for drinking fountain, but it turns out that word is pretty much only used in those two places.

    My fave Not-Everyone-Is-Like-You memory is when I was 4 we moved from Toronto to Boston. I started playing with the kids in the neighbourhood right away. But I soon had to run into the house and ask my mother what “Huh” meant. She said it means the same thing as “Eh”.

  236. kurt
    September 26th, 2007 at 12:03 am [Reply]

    A3G: BUMMER!!! No FIGHT! Just Margo being put in her place by Eric.
    I was really waiting to see what she was going to do with that FINGER….

  237. Casual Fairylane
    September 26th, 2007 at 12:17 am [Reply]

    Clearly, the minds behind Dick Tracy are acolytes of Gertrude Stein’s “Absolute Theatre:”

    And they said I’d never learn anything relevant in theatre school. Ha!

    (First time commenter, long-time follower)

  238. Moon Mullins
    September 26th, 2007 at 12:18 am [Reply]

    214 Ribinin: It is fun to be among the first by snarking at 10 PM California time. But the downside is that a new thread often comes up and your best stuff can get buried in the next day’s frenzy.

    And it is past 1 am for Josh. Does that mean he sleeps past the late night crowd? Do nightcrawlers ever win comment of the week? Should I get one of those Reuben Kincaid eyeshades and try to get to sleep earlier? Enquiring minds want to yada, yada…

  239. Frank Parsnip
    September 26th, 2007 at 12:22 am [Reply]

    A3G: Given Nora’s feelings, Margo is not as far off from the mark as it might appear to Eric or as it is supposed to look to readers. Margo’s got intuition out the wazoo on this, just the same way we guys also know it’s never good when you come home to find your girlfriend’s personal fitness trainer hanging about the kitchen making juice. But I digress…

    With Nora and Margo essentially looking the same, I’m hoping that Nora will reach over and unpin Margo’s hair very quickly from its bun. “Think carefully, Eric,” said Nora. “Which one of us is the real Margo.”

    F-4Phantom: Phantom got his oompa loompas out to do some discount paintwork. A drunk calls it as he sees it, using the dreaded “m” word in expressing his willingness to fight all these little folks, so Phantom responds with the absurdist: “BANDAR WARRIORS, FRIEND! POISON PYGMY PEOPLE! NOW MOVE ON!

    There aren’t enough syllables in the right places for this to qualify as haiku, so I think this is just Phant screwing with the drunk guy’s mind. But if he were to do a 5-7-5 haiku response, here are some ideas:

    1. Little people paint/Making the city nicer/Don’t you like it, sir?

    2. Phantom on his horse/Midgies with roller brushes/Just your drunken dream

    3. Here’s another beer/Let’s just be friends about this/Duuuuuuuuuude, I love you man!

    MW: 2nd panel has a very spooky-eyed Mary, as if Dr. Jeff just squeezed her tit out of frame. Not like Dr. Drew is even looking at these people while he talks — panel 2 has him doing his best imitation of a self-wooden-branch-beating Gil Thorp character.

    RMMD: Poor Niki has no idea what’s painless and what’s not. Panel 3 has a reaction shot from Niki that clearly has nothing to do with whatever it was that Rex just said about rainbow trout.

    MT: “Today’s Mark Trail episode has been brought to you by the color blue. Remember, when sunny skies are overhead, that’s us at work for you! Brought to you by the campaign to support the color blue.”

    (panel filled completely with blue) “I’m the color blue, and I approve this message.”

    Negative ad:

    voiceover: “Some colors think its fine if the skies are gray, but isn’t that dangerous to ducks? When it comes time to choose a color, choose blue. Remember, rain can’t endanger ducks and other flightless waterfowl when the skies are blue.”

    closeup of all-blue panel: “I’m the color blue, and I approve this message.”

    Marvin: Quitcher complaining about the diet and please for the love of God get back to dirty diapers and MingMing. Roy, why don’t you go back to your old diet of meat and cheese products and see how your ass feels about that one?

    Foob: Yesterday’s Foob was brought to you by the Campaign Against the Color Blue:

    Elly: “Do you have to wear blue all the time mom?”

    Marian: “Well… I’d never really thought of that before…”

    Elly: “With global warming a worldwide concern, remember that blue is the color of the melted polar ice cap water when it comes right up the Vancouver streets. You don’t want that, do you?”

    Marian: “No, but…”

    Elly: “When it comes time to choose colors, go with dependable gray. Clouds will help reflect the sun’s warmth back out to space, giving Vancouver much needed protection from future floods. We have to think about the world Michael and Lizzie will live in…”

    voiceover: “This message has been brought to you by the committee for the re-election of gray.”

    graytone panel: “I’m the color gray, and I strongly agree with this message.”

    Jugs Parker: No matter how many “slips of the tongue” and buttons Busty undoes, none of this matters for Sam. Sam has a libido that’s even worse than that of Jake Barnes. (As a sidenote, “The Sun Also Rises” is an unfair book title considering that the sun is pretty much the only thing rising in the Barnes household. However, I recall that the alternate Hemmingway title of “The Sun is the Only Thing That’s Rising Around Here” was rejected by the publishers as too long to fit on conventional book covers in the 1920s.)

  240. bats :[
    September 26th, 2007 at 12:22 am [Reply]

    Do the humpty hump! Hump day funnies:

    MW: “What are you going to do now, Drew?”
    Cue the Aldomobile o’ Death!

    RMMD: I recently read where companies who make fishing tackle are worried that the “younger generation” has very little interest in fishing (no kidding!). When this story-line is done, you can make that “very little” into “zip nada zilch” interest.
    (I wonder what Rex’ tackle looks like…I guess Niki’s gonna find out soon.)

    9CL: all right, Sister Tyson is on a roll! Get that Thorax here stat!

    Eh, that’s all I got.

  241. Poteet
    September 26th, 2007 at 12:22 am [Reply]

    DT — So now Grandpa Baron is suddenly kind of lucid in a calmly insane, let’s-see-if-the-bomb-blows-up-my-granddaughter sort of way. I now realize that I can imagine some events in MW taking place in A3G, and I can easily imagine some events in RMMD taking place in JP, but I cannot imagine any event in DT ever taking place in any other strip. I suppose that’s an accomplishment of sorts.

  242. Moon Mullins
    September 26th, 2007 at 12:24 am [Reply]

    Wed FW:

    Geez, it’s not bad enough to have to witness the death scene. We also have to watch this old lady pick her nose.

    Plus, I’ve always hated the word “hospice.” It sounds too much like Dan Blocker relieving himself.

  243. True Fable
    September 26th, 2007 at 12:36 am [Reply]

    FBoFW GAH. Generational familial infatuation! Elly was looking for a Daddy figure so she settled on John who is apparently as malleable as Jim was in his day. Heh, yeah be careful what you wish for, John.

    Somehow Elly transferred this Oedipal/ Antigonel/ Whichever the Greek that was, ability to Michael. It makes me wonder about all the people who swear their lives are “just like the Pattersons!” and whether or not they see any of this the way I do.

    I’m just studying this Foob strip way too much, that’s what. On a side note, the constantly changing face of Jim the Younger makes me think of Rubber Man!

    #238 Moon Mullins – testify! I don’t think but only a handful of people ever read my hot off the presses reviews. I resigned my self to that fact and just comment for fun. I was fortunate enough to make the runner’s-up list a few times, but I’m not fooling myself with dreams of a COTW win. And that’s okay. I’m not that funny. My strength is in my vein-ripping, bone-rattling long drawn out rants, and in teasing Lynnie J with my hot Fable body.

    Yeah, in other words I’m pretty much damp toast.

  244. Uncle Lumpy
    September 26th, 2007 at 12:40 am [Reply]

    #242 Moon –

    With Lisa asleep, Les gets to assume all the entitlements of the sickest person in the room. These include answering whatever question he damn well pleases, regardless of what you asked:

    Q: “Is she. . . ?”
    A: “She’s just resting.”

    Q: “Can she hear me?”
    A: “Just talk to her.”

    Q: “Where’s your bathroom?”
    A: “It won’t be long now.”

    Q: “Will you kindly go fuck yourself?”
    A: “I’ll be in the next room.”

  245. Moon Mullins
    September 26th, 2007 at 12:42 am [Reply]

    Wed Gil Thorp:

    Three panels with so much going on:

    Panel one: Are the Milford players known as The Raccoons?
    Panel two: If anyone can tell me what the hell is going on here I will give them a dollar.
    Panel three: In a very special guest role as the hardbitten opposing coach,
    The Thunderbirds’ Jeff Tracy.

  246. True Fable
    September 26th, 2007 at 12:50 am [Reply]

    (WT)DT Oh no you don’t, old man. You did nothing but kick the back seat and whine that you need your Gretchen, you need your Gretchen, for weeks now. You just sit down and behave yourself. Let Detective Tracy satisty his bloodlust in whatever violent, needless way he sees fit.
    A3G Erich’s MOUTH may say, “That’s enough!” but the stark terror in his eyes know what will happen to him for this backtalking business.
    FC As old a chesnut as this is, it’s still sweetly amusing rather than mawkishly putrid.
    JP She’s got that “come-hither” look, Sam. Or, to translate for the attorney-impaired, “Give me a round of sexual intercourse, Stud McManly. Maybe it won’t make or break the case, but as perks go you could do a lot worse.”
    Red, you don’t get it, do you? You’re going to have to remove his clothes for him, and even then there’s doubt about his ability to so much as be a hat-rack.

  247. True Fable
    September 26th, 2007 at 12:57 am [Reply]

    BigDog This is without a doubt, the stupidest comic panel in the history of Ever.
    Everybody sing along with Bette:

    He took my things from me
    The dog I trusted
    He piled them ’round his house
    all battered up and busted
    so I sold my dog to the Junkman
    and I will never want to own a dog again

    Ah. I feel better now, but it’s still a stupid panel.

  248. mumbles
    September 26th, 2007 at 12:58 am [Reply]

    (DT)GT: What is Paulie Walnuts from the Sopranos doing coaching “Cave Spring”? And shouldn’t their team name be something like, “The Blind Colorless Fish” or something?

  249. Trilobite
    September 26th, 2007 at 1:09 am [Reply]

    I want to start by saying something nice about Wednesday’s comics, so…er…well, they’re certainly out on Wednesday. Yup, no false advertising here:

    A3G: You just butt the hell out, Eric. No one asked you to mediate here. Now shut up and let the ladies settle this the old fashioned way, with a clothes-ripping, hot, sweaty catfight!

    Blondie: I don’t really know how to respond to today’s Blondie. I suppose I should be glad that they didn’t just do the completely hackneyed and obvious joke where Dagwood gets bitched out for basically telling a woman she looks old, but all they did was lazily reverse “mother” and “grandmother” and leave the joke otherwise unchanged. Seriously, what kind of crazy grandparent gets upset when they’re mistaken for the parent by a passerby? “HOW DARE YOU IMPLY THAT I AM YOUNG ENOUGH TO HAVE AN INFANT CHILD! I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW I FIND PLUGGERS AND FAMILY CIRCUS TO BE ABSOLUTELY CHARMING!”

    Dick Tracy: Back in the old days, “Rotunda” would’ve been a great name for a Dick Tracy villain. Now, it’s just another stop on the Walking Tour of Inexplicable, Uninteresting Plot Points, and the Baron is apparently going to be our bored, mumbling tour guide. Seriously, don’t worry about that bomb or anything. It’s probably a dud, like everything else that’s happened over the past few months.

    Mary Worth: In case anyone doubted the wisdom of Mary Worth, observe how quickly she’s assessed Drew’s remaining dating options. Having struck out with both Dawn and Vera, the question is no longer “Who are you going to do?”, but rather “What are you going to do?” Oh, how the mighty have fallen; Drew’s probably spent all his income on zoot suits and pony rides and can’t even afford a decent hooker at this point.

    Phantom: “Poison pygmy people”? Why would he say that? He won’t even get off his damn horse long enough to paint over his own mural, and he now he’s saying nasty things about his unlicensed (and likely unpaid) workforce? Man, if I were a Bandar warrior, tomorrow night there’d be a few new old jungle sayings about the Ghost-Who-Has-A-Paint-Roller-Jammed-Up-His-Colon.

    The Inedible Horror that is FBoFW: Apparently not paying attention while their children eat dirt is just the way of their people. I still think the Canadian equivalent of Child Protective Services might want to look into this situation, though.

  250. True Fable
    September 26th, 2007 at 1:13 am [Reply]

    MW “What are you going to do now, Drew?” Oh, don’t look so alarmed, Mary. Drew’s hand isn’t reaching for your secrets. He’s spiking your drink so you’ll pass out and not lecture him any further.
    He sure doesn’t want your skanky old butt.
    RMMD Niki…sure looks excited about the prospect of “rainbow trout.” Hey, he’s supposed to be a tough street urchin, right? How do we know this isn’t his M.O.? Hook a rich doctor, Niki: now reel ‘em in. He’s ready to be rolled.
    S-M What is the purpose of panel one? “I’d better not change clothes at home”? You mean, I’d better not put something on to cover up my garish superhero costume long enough to get home and get out of the sweaty clingy fabric altogether?
    9CL Once upon a time, I enjoyed this comic strip. Then he made Elliott disappear for all intents and purposes, he rarely brings the wispy and funny Mark back anymore, Seth is just around to play non-straight man to Edda, and Edda is too insufferable and Amos is just too ugh to bear. The only thing I could count on was the sweet love story about the ex-priest and ex-nun, and he’s ruined that too.
    Boo. Hiss.

  251. Quäsenbo Pan
    September 26th, 2007 at 1:20 am [Reply]

    MW: Now, here’s a puzzle. Either: 1) there was an epically awkward pause between panel one and panel two, during which Dr. Drew paced aimlessly about his father’s den and, by random walk, ended up on the other side of the coffee table; or 2) Drew’s apotheosis has finally come, allowing him to navigate freely through time and space, and which will presently culminate in his bashing Mary’s head in with that lovely lead crystal ashtray she thought was safely out of his reach. “I remember your Gom Jabbar…now you’ll remember mine!”

  252. nsr
    September 26th, 2007 at 2:18 am [Reply]

    Today’s Gil Thorp: That second panel is inexplicable, even by GT standards. Is he tying that guy into a pretzel?

  253. Grace
    September 26th, 2007 at 2:34 am [Reply]

    OK, in Luann, is TJ *really* a vest model, for real? Luann needs to be covered more frequently around here!

  254. Frank Parsnip
    September 26th, 2007 at 3:27 am [Reply]

    GT: Why is it that every team that Milford takes on has the same uniform as Milford? Oakwood… Cave Spring… what next? Everybody has the “home team” light-colored uniforms no matter where they’re playing.

    However, based on Gil’s discussion with Marty Moon, it is a valid question as to where the heck they’re playing. Yesterday’s first panel makes it look like they’re playing in some enormous stadium. Is Milford actually in Texas? Or is the game taking place at a neutral city or university stadium. If the latter, then perhaps both teams are showing up for the game with the mistaken notion that they should both be dressing in “home” team colors.

    A few years ago, it was funny to watch the Cleveland Indians in the World Series against the Atlanta Braves. Both teams’ home/away uniforms and color schemes (blue and red) were the same as the other’s, even down to the warm-up jacket designs with a bit of a yin-yang thing going on with the sleeve fabric.

  255. The Restless Mouse
    September 26th, 2007 at 4:33 am [Reply]

    What kind of device uses those hockey-puck sized batteries that mister plaidpants is holding?

    Maybe if they are 1.5v he can rig something up so he doesn’t have to walk over to the TV.

  256. [james]
    September 26th, 2007 at 4:57 am [Reply]

    Why has Betty converted Rosie from The Jetsons’ severed head into a radio? I sure wasn’t taught that in metalshop.

  257. goaty
    September 26th, 2007 at 5:59 am [Reply]

    Seriously, are the Rex Morgan writers just fucking with us now? I can find no other excuse for today’s strip. Although, it did make me laugh. I wonder if Rex is going to help Niki with his pole.

  258. Sheilagh
    September 26th, 2007 at 6:15 am [Reply]

    Pluggers build sandcastles out of cat shit.

  259. Team MP
    September 26th, 2007 at 6:26 am [Reply]

    MT- Does anyone else want to beat the entire cast of Mark Trail completely senseless? Honestly, I mean grab those shovels and club those Clark Kent looking mofo-s into bloody pulps. What the heck are they talking about? I realize this quote was from day before yesterday’s Mark Trail, but who says “fellows?” How much longer can this go on?

    RMMD- no time to read the rest of the comments, but I must believe someone has mentioned the river “loaded with native rainbow trout.” That’s got to get you to spike on a plethysmograph test. If joining the Big Brothers/Big Sisters organization and using coded language to troll for gay sex with underage males is your thing….

  260. Kenny
    September 26th, 2007 at 6:30 am [Reply]

    Anyone dig the iPod Veronica has with her rug? The AJGLU 3000 likes to give small roles to his peers – much like the AM Radio Betty has… or is that… the severed head of the now-outdated AJGLU 2000?!

  261. smacky
    September 26th, 2007 at 6:31 am [Reply]

    Crankshaft spends his remaining years filing a long series of ever more frivolous lawsuits against the town. After having to cancel the school lunch program just to keep up with attorney fees, the town enacts an emergency “Crankshaft Tax” of 15 cents on each package of adult diapers. His former friends are finally spurred into action and poison the coffee he bitches about—yet faithfully drinks—every morning.

  262. smacky
    September 26th, 2007 at 6:41 am [Reply]

    Why is sweater vest guy from TDIET visiting Lisa in Funky Winkerbean? Is this going to be like Dagwood’s 75th anniversary, and all the comic characters will show up to say their final goodbyes? Outside the door is Hagar, Dennis the Menace, the Family Circus kids… oh, and Garfield, because of the strip’s “talking animals” track record.

  263. smacky
    September 26th, 2007 at 6:50 am [Reply]

    # 252: nsr, I think he might be breaking that guy’s neck in panel 2 of today’s Gil Thorp. At the very least, you’d expect a “face mask” call. Don’t they have penalties at the high school level? Or is this some sort of prison league without rules? That would explain the cameo by an angry Ernest Borgnine in panel 3.

  264. Mibbitmaker
    September 26th, 2007 at 7:34 am [Reply]

    FW: Oh, great! As if this hasn’t been depressing enough, here comes her parents. Just…. for cryin’ out loud, Lisa’s parents…. just don’t smirk, whatever you do! Hey, maybe Les will smirk, and they’ll wipe that expression right off his face! Now I feel better.

    FC: Grandma lightly whacks Dolly in the nose with the ring, keeping her elder hand in basically the same position throughout. Dolly whines, “Ow! Why’d you do that, Grandma?” Answer: “You’re stupid.”

    S-M: The jealous male chauvinist’s dream just came true.

    A3G: No it isn’t, Eric. FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

    NS: That sign belongs on every FW strip, and a few more I could mention.

    BBailey: Um, she’s a civilian secretary, Dancey. You see a uniform on her? I know you look, General.

    Blondie: They’ll do it every time, Dagwood!

    Garfield: Uncle Roy said “Son….”?? Um, Jon…. I think there’s a family dynamic you’re missing there (two if that’s the “Uncle Roy” Buck Henry played on SNL!)…

  265. Inspector Dim
    September 26th, 2007 at 8:00 am [Reply]

    The gravy train is about to come to an end for Spider Man. His first thought: What about my new TV? Good God will I have to sell it and get a smaller one? NOOOO!

  266. Mibbitmaker
    September 26th, 2007 at 8:09 am [Reply]

    9CL: Hey, Impulse Control, where were you when she was talking to unicorns?

    Cleats: And the kids, sadists that they are, get around their school’s banning of dodgeball.

    DT: “What if it’s not a dud?” “Well… then I guess I don’t need my Gretchen anymore.”

    GA: And Fireball was worried about Skeezix really being the boss?

    JP: “Oh, and take this nice, shiny apple, too, Sam. C’mon, take a bite! …uh, you’re not a religious man, are you…?”

    MT (continued from last panel): “I wanted those ducks dead, dammit!! DEAD!! Grrrrr…..”

    Popeye: Gosh, those Oyls are slippery. Get it? Oyls…. slippery……oils…….. please don’t hurt me…

    RMMD: Forget the obvious gay innuendo for a moment — The last panel!…. That…. That Face!!! AAAAAAAUUUUGGHHH!!!!! Strip, don’t you EVER frighten me like that again!

  267. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    September 26th, 2007 at 8:13 am [Reply]

    9CL: C’mon, McEldowney, how hard would it have been to give us a little gratuitous panty shot here? You were so close. And it’s not like you haven’t done it before. In fact, it’s the only reason I read this strip.

    A3G: I can’t think of much that Margo’s too polite to do. Margo’s the walking epitome of “not too polite to do anything.”

    Archie: For a brief, hopeful moment, I thought it was the sound of Freddy Krueger sharpening his blades.

    BB: C’mon, how hard would it have been to give us a little gratuitous panty shot here? You were so close. And … oh, wait, I already used this one.

    C’Shaft: “And how about all the money they spent building basketball hoops in the Negro neighborhoods? I’ll never see a dime’s worth of use from that!”

    (WT)DT: She’s headed for the Rotunda? And how close to it do you think she’s going to get at 4 a.m., running with a bomb held over her head like John Cusack with a boom box? The public entrance to the Capitol is half a mile away, underground, and I’m sure it’s closed at night. I think she’s about to go blow up the Conncecticut Ave. 7-11.

    FBOFW: Apparently, geophagy runs in the family.

    GT: Why are all the Milford players faceless? Did Gil rope in some ringers from Cobra Commando Tech? No wonder they can’t aim.

    Big Dog: Marmaduke’s owner and neighbor seem oddly unfazed by the neatly stacked pile of human femurs.


    Phantom: Others have already discussed Stripeybutt’s cryptic, vaguely insulting mutterings thoroughly, so instead, I will turn to the subject of our drunken friend and ask: In what part of Africa is “youse” part of the dialect? Is this Matawaan, or East Nyack?

    RMMD: GYEEEYAAAH!!! Stop doing that with your face!

    S-M: Hey, cheer up, MJ. I hear some guy named Russ Meyer is hiring.

  268. LightSyrup
    September 26th, 2007 at 8:16 am [Reply]

    RMMD: no one and I mean no one gets as excited about fishing as Niki is, in that last panel. Loaded, indeed.

  269. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 26th, 2007 at 8:19 am [Reply]


    S-M: MJ has the power to be clutching a prop hankie at the precise moment her husband walks in. So basically, she could have beat the Shocker too.

    9CL: A brief but satisfying chick fight.

    HtH: How grim are things looking for Hagar and Lucky Eddie? They’re wandering onto the set of “Crock.” That’s pretty damn grim.

    GT: Meanwhile, Cave Spring coach Nick Fury tests out a new glass eye.

    GA: “We’sn gon’ make you’m squeal likes a pig!”

    Marvin: Again, I just can’t get enough of Marvin’s grandfather’s weight loss struggles. I could read this for weeks on end. Thank you, Tom Armstrong for blessing us with this hilarious and fascinating storyline.

    Phantom: Ah, now they’ve run into an old-timer from the dwarf wrestling league.

    H&J: Aside from whether she’s already heard these words at school, isn’t Uhura a little old to be repeating everything back verbatim? That’s toddler behavior.

    RMMD: There’s a product placement opportunity here. If it was really as painless as Niki says, everyone will want to know what kind of lube they were using.

    MC: The Thomas Harris inspired rat janitor is a keeper.

    Blondie: How dare Dagwood insinuate that the woman looks younger than her actual age? Why he’s just lucky she wasn’t carrying an umbrella.

    FC: Looks like Dolly is about to get a backhand bitchslap with the ring. She’ll only wish she had been hit by a carrot.

  270. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 26th, 2007 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    #249, Trilobite,
    Good point on the Ghost Who Busts Unions.

  271. Len
    September 26th, 2007 at 8:36 am [Reply]

    #18 — Re: Slylock Fox — Who’s wearing a botton? I don’t see no button! The boy’s pants are falling down, but that clue is “pants” — and he’s just showing hip-hop style. Who’s got the button?

  272. Chloe The Cat
    September 26th, 2007 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    My “Not everyone is like you” moment came when I moved from Arizona to South Carolina IN 1982 and they still had “whites only” drinking fountains! I never in my life encounterd this. I thought it was just history I read in school. Then I came here and WOW! It is much different now though. THANK GOD!

  273. Fightin Vague Shape
    September 26th, 2007 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    MW: What are you going to do now, Drew? “Score some tail at the downtown women’s shelter.”

    Pluggers: Pluggers force their kids to play in poop.

    TDIET: The truly sad thing about this is, American car makers are probably cutting out this strip and using it as an indication of the kind of car the market wants.

  274. teenchy
    September 26th, 2007 at 9:49 am [Reply]

    # 122/201: I listed to the NPR clip, thanks for sharing. Good that the Longoria case was brought up as well, even if not in the strip.

    # 254: Excellent observation re the Milford/opponents’ uniform dilemma. Are you a reader of Paul Lukas’ UniWatch blog?

  275. Frank Parsnip
    September 26th, 2007 at 9:49 am [Reply]

    DTwillDoItEveryTime: How cum the more I read that strip the less and less I remember about why people are doing what they do in it?… BUT just when I’m sure I’m suffering from short-term memory, THAT’S when they repeat all the previous month’s action!

    The only way any of this is going to make sense to me is if somebody has sex at the end.

  276. commodorejohn
    September 26th, 2007 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    9CL – Yes, Brooke, see this? This is called “funny.” It’s a good thing to have in a comic strip. I’m so proud of you!

    A3G – “That’s enough!?” Oh, no, Eric. She’s just getting warmed up.

    BB – Words fail.

    Blondie – Nice job ruining the joke, coloring monkeys. Well, such as it is.

    Crankshaft – Please, please let this develop into a storyline whereing Crankshaft sues the city for failing to provide free laptops to its citizens. Do that, Batiuk, and I might forgive you for Funky Winkerbean. Might.

    Crock – “Well, seeing as how your entire midsection has been reduced to organ pulp interspersed with shards of bone, I expect it won’t last much longer.”

    Curtis – Of course, if this weren’t a family strip, we’d immediately cut to Stacey, drunk and topless, sprawled out on the floor of the frat house.

    DTM – There’s something horribly, horribly wrong with this panel.

    DT – “Ah, it’s just an old bomb.” His programming satisifed, the Baron just stops giving a damn. He’ll probably wander off to find a park bench to feed the pigeons from.

    FOOB – Again, I’m amazed that FOOB used to not suck, even if Michael was still a little bastard even back then.

    FW – Is Les getting younger as Lisa is transforming into an old hag? What is he, some kind of age vampire? Some sort of male succubus? Boy, just when I thought Funky Winkerbean couldn’t get any more horrifying.

    GA – So, will this storyline end with Skeezix pulling a Mark Trail and delivering a Fist O’ Justice unto the altogether deserving Fireball, or will he just fire the guy? I’m hoping for the FO’J, myself.

    JP – For that look, I’d take half a million. It’s lucky for Abbey’s business interests that Sam is utterly sexless, if not for Abbey herself.

    MW – Where can I buy that snazzy green “Moy + Giella” shirt? Also, check out Mary’s wide-eyed expression in panel two – is that what a meddlegasm looks like?

    RMMD – Oh, Mr. Peak is a “fly fisherman” too? And there’s a “stream” that’s “loaded” with “trout?” …sorry, I just can’t help it. I mean, look at this thing!

    SM – Uh-oh, Peter’s going to have to get a job! Because, you know, Mary-Jane isn’t getting to do a sequel, which means…she doesn’t get any more acting jobs, I guess. Welcome to the Bela Lugosi Typecast Actors’ Club, Mrs. Parker.

    Edison Lee – conveniently avoids having to draw Ralph Nader’s actual face.

  277. Les
    September 26th, 2007 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    #272: What?? In 1982??? You’re kidding, right??
    Good god.

    Maybe there’s a comic tie-in . . . TDIET

    When black folks point out white racism, some whites disagree strenuosly, forcefully defend the idea of a color blind society, but when their white friends use racial slurs, the politely pretend not to notice. (The urge to use the n-word too.)

    Pluggers know which drinking fountains they’re supposed to use.

  278. AtomicDog
    September 26th, 2007 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    Funky – “Is she…?”

    “No, she’s just pinin’ for the Fijords…”

  279. Krazy Kat
    September 26th, 2007 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    MW-Mary: Drew, I’m going to take care of this as a favor. Someday – and that day may never come – I’ll call upon you to do a service for me. Capise?

  280. AtomicDog
    September 26th, 2007 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    #267 Spider-Brick:

    Archie: For a brief, hopeful moment, I thought it was the sound of Freddy Krueger sharpening his blades.

    Or Wolverine.

  281. Chloe The Cat
    September 26th, 2007 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    Les, I am not kidding, but things have changed alot since then. We ARE living in 2007!

  282. teenchy
    September 26th, 2007 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    ## 272/281: Chloe, curious as to where in SC you saw the segregated drinking fountains at that late date. I recall seeing formerly segregated bathrooms in a small town outside Charleston (Moncks Corner, to be specific) in the late 1970s; the “Colored Bathroom” lettering had been painted over, but I had no idea how recently.

  283. Chloe The Cat
    September 26th, 2007 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    Teenchy It was down by Charlston. They had the bathrooms marked and the water fountains. No one paid any attention to them though.

  284. queek
    September 26th, 2007 at 11:37 am [Reply]

    Things that I have learned by watching “The War” on PBS: In Alabama, “war” is a two-syllable word, as is “boys”

    Growing up in Northern Lower, it was always “pop.”

    I always thought we talked normal, until a family from New Orleans moved in, and made fun of the nasal Midwestern accent. I still think we talk normal here, and the rest of y’all sound funny. ;-)

  285. AtomicDog
    September 26th, 2007 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

    283 – The ones in the park next to the library? I remember those; they said “Colored” as late as 1980. Everyone ignored them, black and white.

  286. April Patterdoodle
    September 26th, 2007 at 7:14 pm [Reply]

    Have you seen this interview with Lynn Johnston? It is a couple weeks old, I might have missed someone posting it on here. Just saying her hybrid strip is going to have more new material than previously planned because her husband walked out on her for another woman! (Scandalous!)

    Just thought it was interesting as the discussions about why things aren’t as she originally said they would be. Sorry if it has been posted before.

  287. Tyrman
    September 26th, 2007 at 7:19 pm [Reply]

    Regarding Archie:

    The more I look at it, the more horrified I get. Say what you will about the Freudian connotations of Jughead’s surfboard, the subtle horror of Veronica’s oddly Lovecraftian swim suit, or Betty’s hedonistic umbrella, but you’re all missing the true terror evident in the strip.

    I’m talking, of course, about AJGLU 3000′s plans for mankind. Look closely at Betty and Archie’s faces. Look at their blank eyes staring into the distance and their nearly expressionless faces. To their right we see Jughead, eyes closed as if accepting his fate; and to their left Veronica, as she undergoes the brainwashing that AJGLU 3000 has planned for our entire race.

    When the time comes and humanity fights against our cruel, “comedic” robotic masters, this strip will be shown to our grandchildren as an example of the old adage “hindsight is 20/20″.

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