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The Statue of Liberty is probably a kangaroo now or something

Hagar the Horrible, 10/15/12

“Maybe I shouldn’t have spent the night before I led my men into a brutal, hand-to-hand combat, during which they must either kill or be killed, filling their heads with tales of damned souls, wandering the earth as dim spectres, mere shadows of their former selves. Which thought do you think is more likely to jump into their heads unbidden it the midst of this violent melee: that they themselves will be felled in battle and their shade will live on, with the wounds and terror they feel now continuing for eternity? Or that, for the rest of their lives, every time they feel a prickling on the back of their neck or an unseasonably icy wind across their face, they’ll suspect that it’s the vengeful spirit of a man they cut down, haunting them until they succumb to madness and terror?”

Hi and Lois, 10/15/12

Ha, and if Hi’s face is any indication, he sure has earned the right to use the word “boring”! If Hi’s face is any indication, today was the day when his capacity to feel joy or pain or anything at all really was finally snuffed out by the intense ennui of mindless, soulless corporate dronery. Get used to that face, kids, it’s the only one he can make now!

Slylock Fox, 10/15/12

In order for the Slylockian world anthropomorphic animals to exist, there must be some kind of apocalyptic event in our future and their past, during which the lower beasts achieved sentience and most of the human population was wiped out, presumably violently. Normally I don’t take this personally, but something about today’s strip, in which we learn that these horror-monsters are riding our subway to our Brooklyn, makes me angry. You didn’t build that, hippo-thing! Neither did you, shirt-wearing cat! The thought of the Museum of Natural History, presumably now retooled and dedicated to the animals’ triumph over the now exterminated human race, particularly sickens me.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/15/12

Oh my goodness, I sure hope that “the party business” is the euphemism for prostitution that the writer of Rex Morgan and King Features Syndicate agreed on after several tortuous weeks of negotiations! Junior knows, and so does that cheery looking couple sitting on the bench. “That Junior, he runs the best brothel in San Diego County, doesn’t he, Martha?” “You can say that again, dear!”

B.C., 10/15/12

Hey! I just flew Southwest yesterday, and as usual the flight and service were excellent, and not once did anyone attempt to feed me something that they barfed and/or shat out (sorry, I’ve already grossed myself out enough just thinking about this, not going to look up how gizzards actually work, I’m afraid there’ll be pictures).

Spider-Man, 10/15/12

You know, the modern, Internet-savvy newsroom is a high-pressure, 24/7 operation, so it’s nice to see that J. Jonah Jameson still takes time to humiliate his employees with elaborate, improvised, and extremely sarcastic little skits.

261 responses to “The Statue of Liberty is probably a kangaroo now or something”

  1. Moe Squito-Fish
    October 15th, 2012 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: Plugger’s can’t poop.

    Popeye: From a story that climaxed with ethnic cleansing story, into one that begins with slavery — don’t ever change, Popeye.

  2. wossname
    October 15th, 2012 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    Luann – For one brief, glorious moment, I really thought she had said “You’re a selfish little shit.”

    Slylock – Reeky Rat did it.

    Phantom – See, Poteet? Devil is going to be OK, thanks to Phantom Jungle Medicine. I bet by tomorrow he’s running around as if nothing happened.

    MW – I have been seriously asking myself lately why I refuse to read 9CL because I hate it, and yet continue to subject myself to MW.

    Curtis – OK, that was actually funny. Billingsley, please let your inner weirdo out more often, not just at Kwanzaa.

  3. Chareth Cutestory
    October 15th, 2012 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    Slylock Fox: The stork is lying cause you can’t haila taxi on an island, yadda yadda yadda, but also get off your lazy stork ass and fly!

    Spider-Man: Spider Sense would sure come in handy if your old boss was about to leap out of his chair and bowl you over. Nonetheless, I love Peter Parker’s face as he absorbs Jameson’s scathing insult.

  4. tb4000
    October 15th, 2012 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    Spidey: Say what you want about JJJ, but he puts into practice what we all only fantasize about.

  5. Jumbo37364
    October 15th, 2012 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    I like the turtle’s face in BC when he says ‘sure’, like this has happened before.

  6. Pozzo
    October 15th, 2012 at 8:46 am [Reply]

    Peter Parker’s glance of heavy-lidded irony in panel three would seem to indicate that he’s auditioning for a gig in “Funky Winkerbean.” Don’t call them, they’ll call you.

  7. Dood
    October 15th, 2012 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    Spider-Man: Jameson cribbed that move from J.C. Dithers.

    Rex Morgan, M.D.: Did those prunes work, dear?

  8. Mibbitmaker
    October 15th, 2012 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    HtH, meta: It won’t really matter, Hagar’s men will all get easily killed in the pictured battle.

    H&L: “You kids’ existing feelings about your dull little lives are to be deemed nonexistent because you don’t work for a living, you tiny parasites! Now, go over there doing nothing for the rest of the day, and LIKE it!”

    SFx: Man, will Charlton Heston be surprised!

    BC, meta: I’m just glad there aren’t pictures like that in today’s strip! After the gore fest of a few days ago, I wouldn’t put it past them!

    S-M: He gets that all the time about his superhero abilities, too.

  9. Honey Badger, Does not give a shit
    October 15th, 2012 at 8:53 am [Reply]

    MT: They are the pirates of the Caribbean and are about to snatch your yacht

  10. Mibbitmaker
    October 15th, 2012 at 8:54 am [Reply]

    @Pozzo (#6): The FW people told him specifically: “That look is too 1972-1992 for use in our feature, Mr. Parker. Come back if you ever master the self-satisfied smirk.”

  11. nescio
    October 15th, 2012 at 8:57 am [Reply]

    SFox: As a Brooklyn-Manhattan commuter, I can assure you that are plenty of large shambling mammals riding the subway to Brooklyn that may well be hippos. I can’t say for sure, it’s not polite to stare.

  12. seismic-2
    October 15th, 2012 at 8:58 am [Reply]

    RMMD: So Earl Pickles and Mary Worth are sitting on Lisa’s bench, meaning that they are both ghosts who will haunt us forever by popping up at inappropriate moments, making crank phone calls, and forcing us to watch video tapes telling us how to live our lives? (Mary’s series runs from Volumes 1 through 538,264, and that’s in the 6-hour ELP VHS format.) The purple figure behind them has the right idea – flee, lady, flee!

    @Droopy Says (#y-247): Bud Light is some sort of beer.
    In the same sense that Fred Basset is some kind of humor.

  13. Powers
    October 15th, 2012 at 9:00 am [Reply]


    On Saturday, Evan was wearing a hideous maize blazer with a pea-green tie. And Skyler had pretty light ginger, Tommy-colored hair. Today, Evan is wearing a blue blazer with orange tie, and Skyler is a mousey brunette.

  14. sporknpork
    October 15th, 2012 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    It’s a real shame that Slylock Fox is a single panel, because I’m pretty sure he’s about to upchuck due to a sudden bout of vertigo brought on by a fear of heights.

  15. Locked Horns
    October 15th, 2012 at 9:03 am [Reply]

    Where did Leroy and Loretta get the money to have M. C. Escher decorate their living room?

  16. Richard
    October 15th, 2012 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    Although thinking about the Rex Morgan scenario puts a completely different spin on the “Let’s eat there!” comment.

  17. Squeak
    October 15th, 2012 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    News flash! D.B. Cooper spotted on the boardwalk!

  18. pugfuggly
    October 15th, 2012 at 9:16 am [Reply]

    HtHHagar’s men are just a little blase about the whole ‘battle’ thing now that their faith is Valhalla has been shaken. Before now they had never considered that dying in battle might result in them wandering the earth in ethereal form for all eternity, which is kind of a downer, if they were expecting to be partying with Odin and Thor the minute of of those tiny swords pierces their arteries.

  19. Marc
    October 15th, 2012 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    9CL- Oh wonderful, another week of Brooke spouting off pointless political takes through Thorax. He must be out wank material.

    A3G- Is it really too much to ask that characters clothes and hair color not change from day to day? Especially when only minutes are supposed to have passed in strip time.

    Mark Trail- Why does a bonefishing spot somewhere in the Southern Part of the Caribbean look more like a lake somewhere in the Northern Part of State? There’s no way that’s the Caribbean. And WHERE is Andy supposed to do his business out in the middle of the sea?

    Mary Worth- So we’re never actually going to learn what happened to Jim’s sister, same way we’re never going to find out how he lost his arm. All we have is they were in a ferry accident. GASP! Jim’s sister’s name was Merry. Merry is ferry but with an M instead of an F. It’s all starting to….become more confusing. Perhaps all of Dawn’s non-volunteering will flush out the bloody details of the crash. I doubt it though, since this is Mary Worth and all.

    Funky- So Cayla is trying to run isn’t she? Can’t have a wedding without a bride. And if the bride finally comes to her senses and runs as far away as possible, there’s no wedding and we’re all saved a shitload of smirks.

    Luann- Pot meet kettle.

    Snuffy- I can’t even imagine what happens at the county fair that would prompt Jughaid to be practicing whatever it is he’s doing.

  20. bunivasal
    October 15th, 2012 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    And you guys thought that Rex Morgan and Judge Parker were the only comics that held up an artistic dedication to cheesecake, but no more! Look at the tight, toned buttocks on Jameson!

  21. Hibbleton
    October 15th, 2012 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    H&L: I think Hi’s utterance is meant to be read as a comment on his reception at the door. “These lame-o’s again. God, I could go for some weed.”

    A3G: Cheap and obvious is what we’re all about, sweety.

  22. 150
    October 15th, 2012 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    Actual props to Spidey, I thought that was a hilariously dickish comic strip.

  23. Liam
    October 15th, 2012 at 9:31 am [Reply]

    MT-”Look, Mark. Some local natives have come to sell us some of their simple craft work.

    Gil Thorp-”Terry’s heavy on the blarney tonight.” “You know the Irish and their drinking problem.”

  24. The Grim Spectre of Food
    October 15th, 2012 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    Has anybody in the history of anything actually used the word “photog”? “Quick, Parker, out of my way! Photog must be that caveman with light-based superpowers I’ve heard about! He’s sure to push more papers than that do-nothing Spider-man!”

  25. Hogenmogen
    October 15th, 2012 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    Pooch Cafe has a pretty good dig on strips with antiquated technology.

  26. Hogenmogen
    October 15th, 2012 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    Hagar: I wouldn’t worry about your men’s fighting skills. Some troup of archers is firing indiscriminately into the scrimmage with no regard for hitting attackers or defenders. You will all die a bloody, painful and lingering death at the hands of an off-panel disinterested party. Ha ha! I get the joke!

  27. lorne
    October 15th, 2012 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    J. Jonah Jameson is awesome.

  28. Greg
    October 15th, 2012 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    Frankly, the look on Jonah Jameson’s face in the first panel is funnier than just about any comic or comedy a person will find. Why isn’t he doing improv for UCB? Why isn’t he running for President of the United States??

  29. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 15th, 2012 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    GF: plot by Monty Python.

    SBp: usually when they see squirrels. . . .

    Bizarro: KLANG!!!

    FW: yes, that’s her booty, whatd’ya think this is, 9CL?

    Lockhorns: Loretta wants sex.

    Mutts: might I suggest Kingdom of Wisdom? Dictionopolis is lovely this time of year.

    RwO: /facepalm.

    Retail: calling mollificent.

  30. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 15th, 2012 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    @Inkwell (#y228): “Oh! I am falling now! Um!” Thanks, seriously! I heard yesterday they were doing this, and I’d already forgotten. I’m glad I got to see the McCay-like doings today at Google, and good job to whoever carried it out. (I’d like to save this one.)

    @whirlstonsally (#y245): And thank you for so crappy spam.

  31. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 15th, 2012 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    Love Is. . . statutory.

  32. Meeskite
    October 15th, 2012 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    SFx: It seems that Weber has been thinking about how to make Slylock Fox more hip. This strip is fairly tame, but get ready for a barrage of mysteries that rely on increasingly insular facts about New York: “Slylock knows you can’t get a decent burrito on 8th and 53rd, asshole.”

  33. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 15th, 2012 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    Luann – “You are a selfish little snit, Shannon.” Well, duh, no snit, Sherlock!

    @Inkwell (#y228): “Oh! I am falling now! Um!” Thanks, seriously! I heard yesterday they were doing this, and I’d already forgotten. I’m glad I got to see the McCay-like doings today at Google, and good job to whoever carried it out. (I’d like to save this one.)

    @whirlstonsally (#y245): And thank you for so crappy spam.

  34. The Ghost of Jarrod
    October 15th, 2012 at 9:49 am [Reply]

    Luann – Luann calling Shannon selfish is like the pot calling a pot a pot.

    JP – “Oh, you just wanted your camera back? My mistake. Here you go. And here’s a million dollars for your trouble.”

    SF – I literally LOLed. Well played, Ces. Well played.

  35. Matthew
    October 15th, 2012 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    I love that by panel 3, Peter is also looking for the good photographer.

  36. Hibbleton
    October 15th, 2012 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    @The Ghost of Jarrod (#34):
    You forgot to include a spoiler alert with your JP comment.

  37. Hogenmogen
    October 15th, 2012 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    Sly: What? A fossil of no discernable value stolen from a museum with no eyewittnesses and no suspects? Well, let’s just grab up a few random animals from various locations scattered across the city, interrogate them together in direct contradiction to established police procedure and then accuse whomever has the stupidest alibi.

    How’s this for being an investigative little thinker, though? The crime occurred at noon, so the sun is setting in the west. This room must be east / northeast of the Empire State Building, and yet there is no such police department. Closest to this description is the 17th precinct on 51st St, but being 17 streets north and several avenues east would not have such a clear view. My guess is that they’re ghost detainees that will never see the outside of this mystery location no matter what they say.

  38. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 15th, 2012 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    meanwhile, at Maxwell Edison’s house. (apolologies)

    next up, in JP. (more dark humor)

    ikkle hawk haz a floof.

    The Daily Puppy is a corgi. *brainmush*

  39. TheDiva
    October 15th, 2012 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    H&L: Nothing like a little adult hypocrisy to get kids to respect you!

    SFx: This is kind of funny if you imagine the hippo giving his alibi in Jon Lovitz’s voice. (“I was taking…a taxi! To the…Statue of Liberty! Yeah, that’s the ticket…”)

    SM: Once again I am left wondering why Jameson isn’t the hero of this strip.

  40. Chris B
    October 15th, 2012 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    Rex Morgan: “Lets eat there … at that Hard Rock Cafe so I can get a t-shirt to complement the SD hat I am wearing. Can you get a picture of me in front? My camera is in my fanny pack”

  41. Not Just Any Dipstick
    October 15th, 2012 at 10:06 am [Reply]

    @Honey Badger, Does not give a shit (#9): Be very careful with ‘snatch’, someone could easily miscontsrue….. No, not me of course.

  42. Stroker Ace
    October 15th, 2012 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    H&L – What does that say on Lois’ shirt? Wildcats? Might spice up the marriage if she’d get a tattoo that said ‘Wildcat’. Inner thigh maybe.

  43. Hibbleton
    October 15th, 2012 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    SFx: Meanwhile, Slylock shows up late as his water taxi from the Bronx was delayed by a floating log.

  44. Downpuppy
    October 15th, 2012 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    @Marc (#19): I quit being upset about A3G costume changes when I figured out they were a signal that the characters had gone off for a quickie in the coat room.

    Except during the Nina birthing fiasco. There, they were to let us know that something messy was happening down in the invisible zone below chest level, despite all evidence to the contrary.

  45. pastordan, lazy professor
    October 15th, 2012 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    Andy Capp: One day, I think this strip will end with Andy falling on his face and breaking his neck. Kind of like Garfield minus Garfield, except with a dead drunk.

    Blondie: Do the writers of this strip even know how cell phones work?

    Okay, yeah. I guess I didn’t get enough sleep last night.


    9 Chickweed Lane: Oh Christ, it’s going to be this way for the next month, isn’t it. I thought the ballet scene was like the Lake of Fire. What did I know?

    Judge Parker: Did you know that bonobos reconcile with one another through sex? I was reminded of that this morning.

    Luann: Everything you need to know about the state of mainstream comics is summed up in that Greg Evans thought it would be funny to work the word “snit” into morning dead trees across America.

    Mark Trail: Hey, look! Slim Whitman’s doing a walk-on today!

    Mary Worth: I keep imagining a blooper reel of rehearsals for this morning’s strip with Dawn reaching out again and again for the wrong arm. “You’re going to be—dammit!” “You’re going to be—” and she pulls a prosthetic arm out of his sleeve. “You’re going to be—wait, was that your sister or your girlfriend who died on the boat?” “Forget it Dawn, it’s Chinatown.”

    Rex Morgan, M.D.: Rex sure looks grim for a guy who spent his morning in the shower with a stacked blonde. Grandpa sure looks happy though, if you know what I mean.

    Slylock Fox: It was the cat. Only Rastas and Russians play chess in Central Park, and he’s clearly French.

  46. Alter Ego
    October 15th, 2012 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    love is… when a little hand finds your what?

  47. TheDiva
    October 15th, 2012 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    9CL I hate to say it, but at this point I’d be tempted to vote for Thorax. (Naaah, you just know he’s in the pocket of the bitchy elitist artist lobby.)

    A3G: Exactly! Just like an Apartment 3-G plot!

    C’shaft: I’ve always heard “short list” used to describe a list of options that need further whittling down, rather than a list of things that need to be picked up while shopping. So the only logical context for Pam’s line is that somewhere Tom Batiuk was thinking “Hey, ‘short list’ sounds kind of like ‘shirt list’! I can make a joke out of that! Okay, time for golf!”

    FW: You just know at least one of them is saying, “I told you she wouldn’t go through with it–pay up!”

    Luann: Takes one to know one.

    MT: Uh-oh, Mark’s about to get boarded and keel-hauled by Tom Selleck!

    MW: Wow, good job Dawn. Really insightful. Mary would be so proud.

  48. Artist formerly known as Ben
    October 15th, 2012 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    H&L: I’m trying to picture the kind of day that Hi would consider boring. He’s such an epitome of dullness that all I’m getting is a huge beige patch.

    SFx: The stork produces a stub from something called a “water taxi”, but Slylock knows something so absurd could only be an artful forgery.

    RMMD: It being a small world and all, the elderly couple in the foreground had their romantic first meeting two months ago at one of Junior’s keggers.

    MT: Mark is about to face the kind of evil that maybe, just maybe, he can’t punch his way out of: the making of a “Cannonball Run” movie.

    Ziggy: Why the door says “The Future” rather than “Pantry” or “Red Light District” is a mystery to me.

    WofI: Wizard of Id is now on an inexorable path to every strip being about dragon poop.

    Archie: Reggie’s sweatshirt looks like it’s got quotation marks on the chest, bringing ironic hipsterdom to a much more blatant level.

    Popeye: Olive’s returning school chum is named “Patty Burger,” so obviously Wimpy will wind up eating… Yeah, no, I can’t.

    BB: Corporal Yo needs to learn the difference between “fighting mood” and “ADHD.”

    DtM: Margaret’s mom made her who she is, even though by all outward signs she takes after her dad, the Burger King.

    SSmith: So the Smifs don’t have a “no projectile vomiting in the house” rule?

    Marvin: Wow, those mood stabilizers these two just started on must be something else.

    A3G: “Yes. Your point?”

  49. pastordan, lazy professor
    October 15th, 2012 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (y#252): Wait, there’s an American Legion Hall in Canada?

  50. The Mighty Untrained FOOZLE
    October 15th, 2012 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    I read this morning’s Rex Morgan and thought “wait, what about Avery and the chainsaw cave?” Then I remembered that’s Judge Parker. Seriously, I have the hardest time keeping the two strips straight in my mind. Which one has the smug entitled prick again?

  51. Austria
    October 15th, 2012 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    Curtis: And here’s today’s Curtis. It’s about Gunther wearing a bra on his tuchus.

    H&L: Oh no, Lois’ little mind-bugs have finally started eating away at Hi’s brain. Banning the use of the word “boring” was the first sign. It’s too late, kids. Your father is gone.

  52. Artist formerly known as Ben
    October 15th, 2012 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    @Stroker Ace (#42): It might spice up the marriage even more if she started seeing a biker named “Wildcat” on the side. Gender irrelevant.

  53. Ian Beste
    October 15th, 2012 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#26): Well, if the archers all have the Point Blank Shot feat, then Hagar’s got a real problem.
    @Stroker Ace (#42): Inner thigh tattoo? How about “Slippery When Wet”?
    Arousing Spider-Man Correction” I figured she was standing behind you — with huge tracts of land!”

  54. Joshua
    October 15th, 2012 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    BC: So the turtle can fly with the bird standing on his back? Is this new? And what makes him think he would have been better fed on Southwest, an airline with no meal service? If he doesn’t want to eat the trout from the bird’s gizzard, he can skip the meal and thus be no worse off than he would be if he was on Southwest.

  55. anon
    October 15th, 2012 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    RMMD: What’s a “nice” seafood lunch? Opposed to a bad lunch?

    I only see RMMD here – how come June isn’t wearing the two-bottle-caps-and-a-cork-bikini we were promised weeks ago?

  56. Downpuppy
    October 15th, 2012 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#37): Slylock’s random thuggery is well within NYPD tradition, & still beats Inspector Danger, where the entire 2-part solution depends on stuff either completely outside the scope of the cartoon or plain bogus. (A karate kween’s boyfriend who can’t lift 50 lbs?!)

  57. feralcanadian
    October 15th, 2012 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    It’s going to Dawn on Rex on the flight home that they were in fact at a brothel/porn set. “That’s why they kept offering me blow! I kept telling them I had my own handkerchief!”

  58. feralcanadian
    October 15th, 2012 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    @Joshua (#54): Their schtick has always been that the bird carries the turtle

  59. Mibbitmaker
    October 15th, 2012 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    9CL: Thorax, you’re fired!

    FW: “You’re too late, Cayla. Les just re-married Lisa’s ghost.”

    JP: But he already IS in a smaller, manageable piece. Well… smaller, anyway…

    MT: 1970s Burt Reynolds?! Now look what you started, Judge Parker! Now every guest character in a strip will be a celebrity caricature!

    Ziggy: The future, Conan…?

  60. Artist formerly known as Ben
    October 15th, 2012 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    @Meeskite (#32): “Ha! Slylock was at that loft party in Williamsburg, and he knows that the Walkmen didn’t play because of van trouble.”

  61. Clint Brawny
    October 15th, 2012 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    So it looks like Hagar’s army will lose this battle of toy cardboard swords.

  62. gnarx
    October 15th, 2012 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    @Greg (#28): Running for President is out, he’s not willing to sacrifice the politically incorrect moustache.

  63. flatsixes
    October 15th, 2012 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    Ziggy: I don’t get it, again.

    Mark Trail: Heeeeeeeeeeeere’s Johnny!

  64. seismic-2
    October 15th, 2012 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#30): I’m glad I got to see the McCay-like doings today at Google, and good job to whoever carried it out.
    Today’s Google Doodle was designed and constructed by Jennifer Hom and her team.

  65. Oregonian
    October 15th, 2012 at 10:50 am [Reply]

    “I just flew Southwest yesterday, and as usual the flight and service were excellent, and not once did anyone attempt to feed me something that they barfed and/or shat out.”

    Um, Josh… Isn’t that kind of the point? You and Mr. Turtle see eye-to-eye on this one.

  66. Dood
    October 15th, 2012 at 10:59 am [Reply]

    Rex Morgan, M.D.: After cleaning up in the Catskills all summer long, the Schumachers have set up shop on San Diego’s boardwalk.

  67. Honey Badger, Does not give a shit
    October 15th, 2012 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    MT: It looks like Elrod wants to be the Law & Order of the comics page. He is starting to take his story lines from the headlines.

  68. ScienceGiant
    October 15th, 2012 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    Say what you will haters, but JJJ-dickery is the best form of dickery!!!

  69. Moe Squito-Fish
    October 15th, 2012 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    @Marc (#19):

    Perhaps all of Dawn’s non-volunteering will flush out the bloody details of the crash.

    “You don’t understand, Dawn. I ate her! I ate Merry, my own sister!”

    “You did what you had to do to survive, Jim. I’m sure Merry forgives you!”

    “But she wasn’t dead yet! She– she was dying– she wasn’t going to make it, but I– I held her under! I murdered her! And then I ate her! Raw!”

    “… But I know you *had* to! You *are* a *good* person, Jim! You did what many people would do if they’d been wrecked and adrift for… how long was it?”

    “A few hours.”

    @The Ghost of Jarrod (#34) & @Hibbleton (#36): It’s sad, but it’s all too likely that it will all work out along those lines. Still, one can hope that when Sam and Bea enter the mine, they’ll discover Avery exclaiming “This will make a great script! A great script!” as he lies naked à la Jabba the Hutt atop a sloppy pile of hillbilly parts, working Bubba’s head like a sock puppet. “Call the Cohen Brothers!” says Bubba in a squeaky voice.

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#48): Slylock knows that’s it’s just like a guilty person to produce proof of innocence. If they weren’t guilty, why would even need to prove their innocence in the first place?

  70. Poteet
    October 15th, 2012 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    @wossname (#2): Thanks for the news. I don’t follow the purple dude anymore, but I liked Devil and am glad he survived whatever he has been most recently subjected to. Yay for Jungle Medicine.

  71. Poteet
    October 15th, 2012 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    9CL — Having dissed politicians and elected officials six ways to Sunday, Thorax decided he wants to be one. That’s what passes for logic in the Brookiverse.

  72. Angie
    October 15th, 2012 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    Wait, Hi and Lois don’t allow their children to use the word ‘boring’? Has it become a curse word since I last woke up from hibernation?

  73. Anonymous
    October 15th, 2012 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    Curtis – I don’t think the grossness of B.C. has anything on today’s Curtis. Gizzards and bird poop are clearly not as disgusting as the pointed head barber’s sweat and butt.

  74. DaveyK
    October 15th, 2012 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    Super Villains beware! Peter Parker has developed meta-awareness of his audience proportionate to an avante-garde spider.

  75. capchemist
    October 15th, 2012 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    Am I the only one that appreciated the Arrested Development reference in MW today?

  76. bats :[
    October 15th, 2012 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    @anon (#55): I think that’s called the Chum Bucket…but I digress…

  77. Poteet
    October 15th, 2012 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    RMMD — How would prostitution actually work in this scenario? Would Junior’s party be the location where the johns met Ginger and Honey and exchanged phone numbers so they could arrange for later rendezvous? Would Ginger and Honey and any other prostitution-minded condiments just disappear with party-attending guys from time to time, two by two or three by three or four by four, into handy nearby apartments? Or would all the interested guys just line up right there in the party room and get…eww.

  78. Moe Squito-Fish
    October 15th, 2012 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    @Angie (#72): The word’s been banned ever since Ditto trepanned Trixie.

  79. Esther Blodgett
    October 15th, 2012 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#33): Don’t you mean “No snit, Snerlock”?

  80. Poteet
    October 15th, 2012 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    @Angie (#72): I suspect that Hi and Lois might say that if their children ever complain about being bored, chores will be the immediate remedy unless the children quickly quit complaining and find something to do. I always thought I might use that approach if I were a parent, and since I don’t have children, I can retain the illusion that it would work.

  81. Poteet
    October 15th, 2012 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#76): BWAHAHA!

  82. Faoladh
    October 15th, 2012 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    I guess that’s why they call them “pluggers”.

  83. doubtingapostle
    October 15th, 2012 at 11:33 am [Reply]

    So, I guess that bird/turtle duo are propelled through the air by the force of their word balloons? Or are we meant to believe that they are just plunging to their death while that flamingo stands idly by and muses about a future they will never see?

  84. Esther Blodgett
    October 15th, 2012 at 11:35 am [Reply]

    FW: Look at those faces. Instead of fighting to catch the bouquet, this crowd will be fighting to be the first to shout out why this couple should not be joined together.

    S4th: Yes, Ted, but it’s a fluffy blonde goatee, which doesn’t give you much alternate-universe cred.

    Dilbert: Rejected Mitt Romney campaign slogan #623.

  85. Moe Squito-Fish
    October 15th, 2012 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#84): Yeah, but check out Mirror Universe Sally.

  86. Anonymous
    October 15th, 2012 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    Gizzards don’t work that way! They’re for grinding up the bird’s food with small pebbles or pieces of grit to aid digestion and also for being battered and deep fried and dipped in white gravy and being delicious.

  87. bats :[
    October 15th, 2012 at 11:58 am [Reply]

  88. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 15th, 2012 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    Dilbert – No, anyone who thinks that social and class hierarchy is caused by Capitalism doesn’t understand Capitalism. Or human nature. Or history.

    “He must be a king!”
    “He hasn’t got shit all over him!”

  89. wossname
    October 15th, 2012 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#70): Actually I guess it was bats [: who was worrying about Devil a few days ago. I truly do know the difference between you two, but I guess I got confused because of your shared traits of loving animals and wanting to see justice done in the comics.

  90. Voshkod
    October 15th, 2012 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    You know who could solve the museum mystery, Slylock? Local superhero Manspider. He’s this spider, you see, that was bitten by a radioactive human. The human, one of the last survivors of his species, was irradiated by overexposure to his television, but that’s another story.

  91. DownInTheValley
    October 15th, 2012 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    SM: I couldn’t read today’s Spiderman without hearing the Laugh-In punchline music in my head. “I figured he was hiding behind you!” Bah-dah-dah dah-dum-dum!

    …Uuh, I just dated myself again, didn’t I…

  92. nightfly
    October 15th, 2012 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    Hagar: “I shouldn’t have kept the men up all night telling ghost stories. Otherwise, we wouldn’t have been so tired that we rushed into battle with the cardboard swords we used as props.”

    Enemy Knight: “We ALL have cardboard props! You just crashed a high school production of Henry V! You’re ruining the battle of Agincourt, dumbass!”

  93. French Man-at-Arms
    October 15th, 2012 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    No, you ruined the Battle of Agincourt with those @*!@ arrows. Pluck yew!!!

  94. S. Stout
    October 15th, 2012 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Shannon is passed back and forth between her loser father and insane aunt, who then passed her to an awful teen in Luann so she can give Brad a ride on first base. Hard to blame her for acting out when surrounded by horrible people who don’t want her around.

  95. bats :[
    October 15th, 2012 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#89): strangely enough, I tend to mix up you and Poteet!

  96. Poteet
    October 15th, 2012 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#89): Being classified with bats[: is a true honor for which I thank you. And come to think of it, there must be many generations of Wolf-dogs buried somewhere near The Skullcap, or whatever it’s called. And lots of Wolf puppies must feel the rejection (or relief) of not becoming the Chosen Wolf. Unless Wolf has stand-ins, like Lassie.

  97. lynn
    October 15th, 2012 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    Whatever resort town Rex and June may happen to be in, I doubt if one may go to lunch clad in Saran wrap, as June clearly (heh, heh) is.

  98. Poteet
    October 15th, 2012 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#87): Best Maryface EVER!

  99. ratnerstar
    October 15th, 2012 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    Is it just me, or is Rex Morgan a dead ringer for Sterling Archer?

  100. AhClem
    October 15th, 2012 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

    Although I have nearly zero interest in sports, I watched the first game of the WNBA Playoffs last night with a friend who cares about such things. My first thought was: “Holy Crap! Mary Worth is coaching the Indiana Fever!” I wonder how many technical fouls she will get for thowing salmon squares at the refs?

    I think I’ve been reading this blog way too long!

  101. terrapin
    October 15th, 2012 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    H&L: Actually, I’m on Hi’s side here. I have a boring, soul-crushing job too. However, I think that if I got home and my wife was rocking a tight red sweater it might perk me up a bit.

  102. AhClem
    October 15th, 2012 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    @AhClem (#100): That link didn’t work quite the way I was expecting. Click on photo 2 of 3.

  103. This Guy
    October 15th, 2012 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    Luann: This from the girl who recorded a song called “I’m a Snot” and thought it was endearing.

  104. Snarkotix Addict
    October 15th, 2012 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    FW – But… but… but… shouldn’t Cayla be wearing a shroud? Or is she saving that for the honeymoon?

    MW – “You’re going to be all right.”
    She didn’t really just say that, did she?
    Nice, Dawn. Jim is very aware that with what’s left, it’s going to be all right from now on.

  105. Moe Squito-Fish
    October 15th, 2012 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#103): I understand that she was trying to reclaim the word “snot,” much as contemporary feminists have reclaimed “bitch.” The problem was that no person, misogynist or otherwise, has ever said, “Look at that snot!” “That snot is hot!” or “I’m gonna fuck that snot so hard…”

    Oh, and the other problem was that the Luann is crap.

  106. Señor Tortilla
    October 15th, 2012 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Way to make both candidates look good, McEldowney.

  107. Buck Ripsnort
    October 15th, 2012 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#84): @Esther Blodgett (#84): S4th: Yes, Ted, but it’s a fluffy blonde goatee, which doesn’t give you much alternate-universe cred.

    Oliver (Green Arrow) Queen begs to differ!

  108. Buck Ripsnort
    October 15th, 2012 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    Luann: I’ve always felt this strip was full of snit. A snootful of it, even.

    HtH: If your men can’t retain interest while being attacked by swords and arrows, a late night is the least of your causes; maybe someone spiked the grog.

    H&L: I prefer to think they’re saying it in the 60′s comedy parlance: “BOOORRRRRR-IIINNNG!”

  109. Dale
    October 15th, 2012 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#76):


    I saw SD and thought: Sicherheitsdienst?

  110. Snarkotix Addict
    October 15th, 2012 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

    A3G – It’s called celebrity, Skyler.

    Crankedshaft – And that is how Ed and Pam made my shit list.

    MT – That Mark Trail is just a criminal magnet.

  111. Pozzo
    October 15th, 2012 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

    SM: In panel 2, Peter looks like he’s on his way to an audition for Billy Bigelow in “Carousel.”

  112. Dale
    October 15th, 2012 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    Children of Milford! Why are you so fascinated by someone from Ireland just because he’s from Ireland?
    Even if he wore green with a pointy hat and pointy shoes, he couldn’t shit you a pot of gold.

  113. tallyHO
    October 15th, 2012 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

    @Honey Badger, Does not give a shit (#67):

    What are the headlines Elrod is playing off of?

    The Case of the Corduroy Pillow and the Facedown Nap?

    //seriously, is there a story about bonefish, Florida mangroves or dudes who sitting in fishing boats waiting for someone to come along so they can ask for gas money because their family is stuck in the yacht on the highway and they made it this far to get to a gas station and really need the money?

  114. wossname
    October 15th, 2012 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    @Dale (#112): They’re fascinated because Doyle Dane (Bernbach) is manipulating their feeble young minds. The more perplexing question is why he’s creating all this O’buzz and what he expects to gain from it.

  115. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    October 15th, 2012 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    @AhClem (#102): Ohmygoodness—she even has an appropriately colored jacket! “Why do bad fouls happen to good players?”

  116. Johnny Q
    October 15th, 2012 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    SLYLOCK FOX: By now, of course, the Statue of Liberty is probably a ruin on a beach. (“GOD DAMN THEM ALL TO HELL!”)

  117. casino LF
    October 15th, 2012 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    @Austria (#51): “Curtis: And here’s today’s Curtis. It’s about Gunther wearing a bra on his tuchus. ” I assume this means it’s a crossover with Luann.

  118. Jasper
    October 15th, 2012 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    MW- I still don’t get Jim pinning up the armless long sleeve in such a neat manner. Is he playing the sympathy card, or perhaps he has hope that his arm will someday grow back. Though he may have to settle for two right arms as demonstrated by Dawn in Panel One.

    MT- Mustache and sideburns equals nothing but trouble in Trailverse

  119. Honey Badger, Does not give a shit
    October 15th, 2012 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#113): He has played off the Costa Concordia diaster in the recent arc and is currently playing off the Somali pirates.
    I was surprised Elrod chose the Caribbean as it is separated from Miami by Cuba, Hispanola and Puerto Rico, a good 150 miles.
    Of Couse he has changed the names to protect the innocent and to prevent the guilty from suing. Some such disclaimer is made at the beginning of each episode of L&O.

  120. Poteet
    October 15th, 2012 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

    A & J — Sorry, Solange, but for me, Ludwig still wins “best comic-strip cat.” I do think you deserve a better strip.

  121. tallyHO
    October 15th, 2012 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    @Honey Badger, Does not give a shit (#119):

    I see. I had forgotten about modern-day pirates.

    So, this could mean a high-speed boat chase? This doesn’t bode well for the Fists of Justice or the Giant, Vice-like Grip of Andy Dog’s Pancake Hole!

    //i shall hold out for a guest-appearance by The Real Aquaman. Waitasec! Hmmmm…

  122. treedweller
    October 15th, 2012 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

    They kept the subway and the taxis but got rid of all the jails, so SFx catches the same thieves every day and they never get punished. Unless you count the time they have to spend with SFx.

  123. Hibbleton
    October 15th, 2012 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

    @Honey Badger, Does not give a shit (#119):
    Bimini and the Bahamas are only about 30 miles from Miami and part of the caribbean. During the ’70s there were a lot of pleasure boat hijackings. Crews killed, boats disappeared into the drug trade. Fueled Bermuda triangle legends.

  124. Hogenmogen
    October 15th, 2012 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

    I thought Hagar’s men were sort of lethargic on the battlefield in general. If I were fighting face to face with hand held weaponry against angry guards trying to hack me to pieces because I’m hellspawn come to rape their family, I’d be more energetic than either side in this battle. No wonder why they always get killed and Hagar and Eddie are continually the lone survivors at cliff edge, locked in a dungeon or being burned at the stake.

    Little known fact about Vikings – they were really, really mellow.

  125. Moe Squito-Fish
    October 15th, 2012 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#121): If, after defending himself from their initial onslaught, Mark goes after these pirates, wouldn’t he be violating the terms of his failed antitrust suit, Man-Who-Cannot-Modulate-His-Voice vs. Man-Who-Cannot-Die, the ruling of which held that Mark may only engage in nature-themed crime-fighting only within the United States and its freshwater bodies?

  126. debussy fields
    October 15th, 2012 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

    MW– Hold his hand, Dawn. Hold his hand. Couples on romantic walks don’t grab each other’s forearms. He wants you to hold his hand!

  127. Hogenmogen
    October 15th, 2012 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: Two hours in town and already with the SD baseball hat?

    “Do you think Junior knows?”
    “Of course he does. Have you seen Junior’s grades??
    … And the cradle will rock!

  128. debussy fields
    October 15th, 2012 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

    MW– “You’re going to be all right.” Are you implying that he’s going to lose his left leg sometime soon?

  129. Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
    October 15th, 2012 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Pot, meet Kettle…….people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones!

  130. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 15th, 2012 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

    MW – With the real Captain of the Costa Concordia going on trial this week, I think that Dawn’s new boyfriend needs to get out there and share his wisdom.

    In his case, the failure traces to a lack of appropriate safety training. A simple 15-minute session could have prevented him from tragically misinterpreting, on multiple levels, the command “All Hands on Deck!”

  131. Hogenmogen
    October 15th, 2012 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

    @Downpuppy (#56): That’s AWESOME! I’m going to read Inspector Danger more often! If I tried to come up with this brilliance, there is no possible way I’d be able to invent a scenario in which we are expected to
    A. Know how much that chandelier weighs
    B. Figure out that karate chick used to date the victim
    C. Have done the fieldwork (called “special checking” as no police ever would) to find abandoned trucks in the neighborhood

    Maybe that’s not even Karate Queen. Maybe that’s not even a chandelier! Maybe Inspector Danger really isn’t dangerous!

  132. Dan
    October 15th, 2012 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

    So it turns out the guy with the purple pants and green tie was the villain. To crack this case, Slylock must have had to read two, maybe even three issues of Batman.

  133. Moe Squito-Fish
    October 15th, 2012 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

    @debussy fields (#128): Even worse — he’s going to be cut in half, crotch to crown, and the left half will fall into a comically oversize meat grinder. Don’t worry, though, June Morgan will happen to be on the scene and save his life by wrapping his surviving right half in her plastic-wrap dress, and eventually, he and Dawn will resume their long walks hops on the hospital grounds.

  134. seismic-2
    October 15th, 2012 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

    HtH: Of course the soldiers are lethargic. As a result of hearing all the ghost stories, they now know that the eternal reward that is promised only to brave and fierce warriors who die heroically in combat is to be carried off to Asgard, where they will spend their afterlife hanging out with Thor, Loki, and Spiderman.

  135. tallyHO
    October 15th, 2012 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

    @Dan (#132):

    Exactly! When I joked about it last night, I think he is called The Storkler!

  136. yo go re
    October 15th, 2012 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

    The fact that the old couple in in Rex Morgan are both front-and-center and in full color suggest to me that they’re meant to be important. Add to that the fact that the artist on the strip is comicbook artist Graham Nolan, and now the old man has a certain similarity to the recently deceased Joe Kubert. Joe’s wife Muriel died in 2008, so that explains why the couple look so happy there on the bench: they’ve just been reunited after four years apart.

    It also means Rex Morgan take place in some kind of blessed afterlife, which would explain why everything always seems to go his way, no matter what. Rest in peace, Judge Morgan; I wonder if you even know you’re dead…


  137. Bob Weber Jr.
    October 15th, 2012 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

    @Meeskite (#32):
    Just this past weekend a friend of mine (he recently moved from Tucson to NY) ordered an advertised “flour tortilla” in Brooklyn, and was handed pita.

  138. bbofun
    October 15th, 2012 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#2): Re: MW- I think it’s because 9CL is so satified with itself, like it knows it’s better than you. Except for occasionally, like this week, when Mary pontificates, MW is usually just silly-sad, trying to show actual human interactions and failing. Plus, the memory of Aldomania gives us hope.

  139. stinkfoot
    October 15th, 2012 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    Concerned as Slylock is with finding the criminal through his brilliant methods of ratiocination, he doesn’t seem to notice that Max is humping his tail. But the suspects see it and look on with a mixture of surprise, amusement and nausea.

  140. Hogenmogen
    October 15th, 2012 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    @Meeskite (#32): “Slylock knows you can’t get a decent burrito on 8th and 53rd, asshole.”

    … Because the street vendor at that corner sells pretzels, not burritos! Fer cryin’ out loud, folks! Doncha know nothin’ ’bout Noo Yawk?

  141. Downpuppy
    October 15th, 2012 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#131): And then I stupidly thought about Inspector Danger again. If the burglary really was a 2 person job, wouldn’t guy #2 have been in the basement cutting the power & have taken off in the van when he heard a shot?

  142. Les Moore Fan Club, LLC
    October 15th, 2012 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

    So it’s come to this. The Day of Infamy. The sunshine has a sickly hue and the birds are singing in a minor key. But I must be Strong; this too shall pass.

    I know there has been speculation that I might try to crash the wedding and make a “scene.” But don’t get your hopes up. I’ll not let them (Batiuk Inc) take away my remaining dignity. I shall maintain my cool, as I did with the regrettable Kiss Incident. I was willing to take all the blame for our transgression, giving up my teaching career, all my hopes and dreams that I had worked so hard for and then YOU JUST STOOD THERE WITH THAT GODDAMN STUPID SMIRK ON YOUR FACE, YOU SMUG BAST

    Please excuse me – I don’t know what just happened. Things got a little hazy. Les, you know I didn’t mean that. I’ll always treasure that Kiss, even though the cost was catastrophic. And I know that we are meant to be together, and that one day when the She-Devil is out of the picture “our day will come.”

    Tearfully yours,
    Susan Smith. President

  143. Hogenmogen
    October 15th, 2012 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

    And today, Peter Parker gets easily shoved aside by an old man with no excersise regimen, let alone super powers.

  144. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 15th, 2012 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    @Bob Weber Jr. (#137): the horror, the horror…

  145. Peanut Gallery
    October 15th, 2012 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    “Take your stinking claws off me, you damned dirty stork!”

  146. Hogenmogen
    October 15th, 2012 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    @Downpuppy (#141): Inspector Danger isn’t even very concerned about things that any other law enforcement official would be. There was a shot, but he’s still holding the gun. There’s no blood. If Karate Queen used karate, she would have had to be within arm’s reach. How could the “thief” miss from arm’s reach? The “thief” was on the ladder, right? How could she have come up close? Where is the bullet? Can’t they ID this guy, notify next of kin and find out that he’s her ex-boyfriend? None of it adds up quite right, and yet we’re supposed to have jumped to this conclusion?

  147. Baka Gaijin
    October 15th, 2012 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#84) on Dilbert: Ha ha! Every time I see him on the news, I’ll think of this Dilbert. Thanks, Esther. Now the run for the Presidency is entertainment only; I sent in my ballot a couple weeks ago.

    @AhClem (#100): Ha ha! We’re a bad influence!

    @tallyHO (#113): I love this post. I’m imagining someone waking up after napping on a corduroy pillow and seeing the grooves on his face. Hilarious.

    Mr. Weber Jr., if you’re still reading, somehow work this scenario into one of the “Slylock Mysteries.” Mrs. Bear claims someone slept on her couch. [artwork: lineup of Reeky Rat, Harry Ape, and a little blonde girl with lines on her face] How can Slylock tell who’s guilty? Answer: Mrs. Bear got the couch as a wedding gift in 1972. It’s made of gold corduroy. Guilt is embossed into Goldilocks’ face.
    Alternate Answer: Reeky Rat did it. He was born guilty.

  148. Hogenmogen
    October 15th, 2012 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

    @Downpuppy (#141): And the more I think of Inspector Danger, the more rational Slylock gets.

    The chandelier cost $8-10K, but street value? A lot less. Thieves would go for jewelry. Small, valuable, easy to transport, and gold has intrinsic value.

  149. Baka Gaijin
    October 15th, 2012 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    @casino LF (#117): Be glad it’s a bra on his booty instead of the “lift and separate” jock strap from International Male.

  150. Hogenmogen
    October 15th, 2012 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

    Sly: I think it was the cat. Chess is a two person game and he was found alone. Ergo, incontribertably, beyond a shadow of a doubt, no alternative explanation possible – GUILTY!

  151. Hogenmogen
    October 15th, 2012 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Get your name and face out there? NO, it may not be the right time. Get photographed at gala events with lots of other stars? NO, it’s cheap and obvious.

    Does this chick understand this whole “publicity” thing less than Evan?

  152. Moe Squito-Fish
    October 15th, 2012 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#151): Maybe she’s a true artiste who avoids publicity because she wants people in the theaters to see the character on the screen, not the person who won Dancing with the Homeless.

  153. Honey Badger, Does not give a shit
    October 15th, 2012 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

    @Hibbleton (#123): {Bimini and the Bahamas are only about 30 miles from Miami and part of the caribbean.

    I don’t proclaim to be an expert, but I have visited Puerto Rico which is southeast of Bahamas. The north shore was on the Atlantic and the south shore was on the Caribbean. I conclude the Bahamas are in the Atlantic. The straits between Cuba and Hispanola, Hispanola and Puerto Rico seems to be the dividing line.

  154. word-doctor
    October 15th, 2012 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

    BC: I once saw an old farmer put his teeth on a napkin on the bar and gum pickled turkey gizzards, washing them down with draft Grain Belt. Thank you, Luann, for helping me recreate that long ago look on my face with your inane, ineffective hypocrisy.

  155. tallyHO
    October 15th, 2012 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

    @Moe Squito-Fish (#125):

    If by the “man who cannot die” you mean the “ghost who wears a costume” then I guess Mark is impinging upon his Close To the Equator Territory.

    Now, I’m no law-talking guy but it would seem to me like the International House of Pancakes Treaty comes into play here.

    If either the Fists of Justice or the Purple Haint are on vacation they can, without penalty, relax and kick back for a while. The key is that there needs to be some Pancake like objects in the vicinity of the vacation location. In this case, if you recall, there was a Chicken Pot Pie floating near a Sea Turtle.

    While that may have been a Red Herring Pot Pie, it aids in Mark’s case should said Gun-Weilding, Masked Purple-rado show up and try to re-kindle the Jungle Turf Wars.

  156. lynn
    October 15th, 2012 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

    @Les Moore Fan Club, LLC (#142): Oh, Susan, my heart goes out to you. I know what it feels like to yearn for one who can never be yours. Let me direct you to this wonderful columnist, Wendy. She gives such superb advice. Such deep thoughts. What a beautiful soul.

    Oh, Rev. Mistopher Scudder…but no, I mustn’t.

  157. Honey Badger, Does not give a shit
    October 15th, 2012 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

    @Honey Badger, Does not give a shit (#153): And the Line between the Yucatan Pen and Cuba separates the Gulf of Mexico from the Caribbean. Many people think Bermuda is in the Caribbean but it is actually off the coast of S. Carolina.

  158. lynn
    October 15th, 2012 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#149): “…instead of the “lift and separate” jock strap from International Male.” -Why? Does that not work for you?

  159. Marc
    October 15th, 2012 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

    @AhClem (#100): I’m more befuddled that you actually found a person interested in the WNBA.

  160. greghousesgf
    October 15th, 2012 at 4:44 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#80): I never understood the mentality behind making kids do chores if they complain about being bored. Chores are MORE boring!

  161. Alison
    October 15th, 2012 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

    “Luann”: If you give someone ice cream and they whine that the bowl isn’t pretty, that’s really not being selfish, it’s being ungrateful. “You are an ungrateful little snit” would have made a lot more sense. “You are just like me” would have made even more sense, as we all know Luann’s whiny personality isn’t far off from Shannon’s, with the main difference being that Luann is actually old enough to know better.

    P.S. Not that I want to see more of it, but has Luann totally forgotten all about Quill (again)? One day he’s the love of her life and she thinks they can make it work even when he lives in Australia, and the next there is no mention of him. What was all that “We need to talk” stuff about?

    “Mary Worth”: Laziest strip I ever saw, ever.

  162. tallyHO
    October 15th, 2012 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#147):

    actually, that was an old riddle, re-formulated by me.

    Q: What happens if you fall asleep on a corduroy pillow?

    A: Your forehead makes headlines!

    So, it wasn’t that original. Of course, as your suggestion shows, it would make a good premise for a mystery for Slylock to deal with….


    I’m not sure about this but in Slylock Mystery Theater if humans show up, like Goldilocks, she of The Three Tenors fame, wouldn’t she be immediately suspected as being the perpetrator or as the traitor of all Bi-Pedal Critters?

    By the way, look at today’s Slylock and tell me that IF Slylock does speak the he probably sounds like a young, furry Christopher Walken.

  163. fahrenheit451
    October 15th, 2012 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail: Has Burt Reynolds sunk so low as to target “Yacht Fishermen” somewhere in the Caribbean?

  164. Poteet
    October 15th, 2012 at 5:30 pm [Reply]

    @greghousesgf (#160): I don’t understand complaining about being bored, actually. I’m sure I was a trial in some ways when I was a kid, but I don’t think I ever complained about being bored. Between bugs and books, there was always something to do.

  165. Moe Squito-Fish
    October 15th, 2012 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#48), @Mibbitmaker (#59), and @fahrenheit451 (#163): I’ve been trying all day to come up with a “__________ and the Bandit” joke, but Mark Trail is so bland, so without personality that he defies even a one-word nickname, let alone one that rhymes with “Smokey.” Clean-shave and the Bandit? Squaresville and the Bandit? Emotionally Crippled Backwoods Recluse and the Bandit? Nope, nope, and nope.

    I didn’t fare too well with Cannonball Run either. Cannonball Punch? Anime. Cannonfist Run? Porno. Punchball Run? That’s something Kaz invented for rainy-day PE.

  166. commodorejohn
    October 15th, 2012 at 5:41 pm [Reply]

    @greghousesgf (#160): It’s not to alleviate boredom, it’s to teach them not to complain about it if they don’t want to get saddled with chores.

  167. parcheesi
    October 15th, 2012 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

    Now we know, the “J” in J. Jonah Jameson stands for “Josh.”

  168. yaoi huntress earth
    October 15th, 2012 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

    9CWL: Wait a minute. Thorax wouldn’t even be able to run since he wasn’t even born in America.

  169. Zerowolf
    October 15th, 2012 at 5:56 pm [Reply]

    SFx: The liar is whoever Slylock decides is a liar.

  170. Zerowolf
    October 15th, 2012 at 6:14 pm [Reply]

    FW: You know, if the ghost of Blessed Dead Saint Dead Lisa were to come screeching down the aisle like Fruma Sarah in Fiddler on the Roof, I could almost forgive Batuik everything.

  171. tallyHO
    October 15th, 2012 at 6:16 pm [Reply]

    @Moe Squito-Fish (#165):

    Judge Fisto and the Bandito

    Jokey and the Canned Hit

    LoFolky and the Badplot

    Okie Fistpokie and the Bewhiskered

    Swimmin’ Hole, Run!

    Fishin’ Hole Gun?

    Manondog Fun

    Manondog Fun, Who?

    Manondog Fun, Wheeee!

    Everything You Wanted to Ask About Andy Dog’s Bar-tending Skills (But Where Afraid to Ask)

    Chokey and the Bonefish

    Chokey and the Bonefish II: Heimlich Manueveroo

    Mark Trail’s Eur-a-peon! Preparedtobe Face-punched!

    The Least Little, Pirate Mangrove Cove in Unspecified Location

    The Man Who Loved Face Punching

    Marky’s Machine

  172. Zerowolf
    October 15th, 2012 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

    Curtis: It’s time “Catch a Predator” pays a visit to that barber shop.

  173. Inexplicable Bear Tongue
    October 15th, 2012 at 6:53 pm [Reply]

    SF: Well duh, you dumb fox. The stupid stork said he was hailing a taxi, not that he was taking one. I can hail a taxi on a dinghy in the middle of the Indian Ocean, that doesn’t mean I’ll get one. Maybe the stork just stood there all day, whistling with his wing up.

  174. Scalawag
    October 15th, 2012 at 7:03 pm [Reply]

    Damn, Jameson might have surpassed Mr. Wilkins in the dickish over-the-top sarcasm department.

  175. Droopy Says
    October 15th, 2012 at 7:04 pm [Reply]

    What’s funny about Spiderbland is that when Jameson says his best photographer must be hiding behind Parker, Parker looks.

  176. Inexplicable Bear Tongue
    October 15th, 2012 at 7:06 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#148): Inspector Danger, unfortunately, jumped its shark a little while ago when the nonconforming clue that exonerated a suspect was that the murderer was wearing shoes with shoelaces, and the suspect, who was a bit husky, was obviously too fat to wear shoes with laces. I believe he said it with his trademark scowl, or it was his trademark smirk. Anyway.

    It’s all downhill from there. You’re never going to get something as hilarious and ridiculous as that again. Any attempt to do so will obviously be striving for that previous high, and cannot be considered on its own merits.

  177. Atticus Dogsbody
    October 15th, 2012 at 7:44 pm [Reply]

    @Hi and Lois: Sorry kids. You don’t get to complain about the inattentive type ADHD that will screw your lives until you are as broken down as your father. ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?!

  178. Bob Weber Jr.
    October 15th, 2012 at 8:08 pm [Reply]

    @Zerowolf (#169):
    …pretty much.

  179. Patrick
    October 15th, 2012 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

    Josh’s dystopian interpretations of Slylock make me want to draw Slylock as Judge Dredd or O’Brien from 1984. “If you want a picture of the future, imagine Slylock Fox stamping his furry paw on a human face forever.”

  180. Edgy DC
    October 15th, 2012 at 8:26 pm [Reply]

    I can’t quite make out the word written across Lois’ chest either. Dear Lord, I hope it’s not “boring.” Though I have to admit that would be a pretty hardcore move on Hi’s part.

  181. Baka Gaijin
    October 15th, 2012 at 8:32 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#158): Think of the visual. With the butt bra, Gunther’s shoving his ass in Curtis’ face. With the jock, he’d be shoving what in Curtis’ face?

    @tallyHO (#162): You bring up a good point about Goldilocks. I included Reeky Rat in the lineup specifically to counter that concept since Reeky Rat is always guilty. Makes it a real head-scratcher for Slylock. Who’s voice I never thought about.

    @Droopy Says (#175): It’s exactly the same joke as Dilbert on Sunday. It was still just as funny.

    @Bob Weber Jr. (#178): Busted!

  182. tallyHO
    October 15th, 2012 at 8:46 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#181):

    Actually, I was kidding about Christopher Walken. Though, if there is ever a live-action adaptation of Slylock Fox…..

    The thing is since there are no word balloons and sometimes Slylock is drawn without a mouth, I’ve always wondered if he speaks or if he just signs or mimes his accusations.

    So, for quite sometime, I’ve wondered about whether he speaks or not.
    In this one he is doing that funky little step forward with Maxwell on his tail.

    (the drawings, as you know, are usually funny drawings. That has to be intentionally humorous on Weber’s part.)

    I’ve seen Walken on talk shows and he says he gets to do some dance in every movie he is in, even if the script doesn’t call for it.

    Hence, what I wrote about the strip last night.

    //as a bonus, The Storkler and The Cat Furballer are sitting on stools, but Hungry Hipster Hippo is left standing.

  183. tallyHO
    October 15th, 2012 at 8:58 pm [Reply]

    Beetle Bailey has flipped his lid! Or, he’s trying to pull a Klinger and get discharged and sent home.

    So, Monday’s Six Chix narcs on bags.

    Evan, Margo’s Office Assistant, Tres G:
    “Skylar, did you know you share your name with an adolescent bird that has a supporting role in “Shoe”? Until his star begins to fade, baby, this town ain’t big enough for you to NOT do the cheap and obvious! Capesshimo?”
    (// Evan wouldn’t say that, he’s just not that great at whatever it is he does. )

  184. tallyHO
    October 15th, 2012 at 8:59 pm [Reply]

    How is it no one else mentioned noticing Neal deGrasse Tyson hovering at the Les Moores backyard wedding? Dude’s defying gravity!

  185. 555 95472
    October 15th, 2012 at 9:11 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#143): An old man, huh? You go mano-a-mano with JJJ, and we’ll see who comes out bloodied and bruised, and who comes out with his flat-top completely unruffled.

    In fact, “flat-top unrufflability” may just be JJJ’s superpower. Perhaps he was bitten by a radioactive barber?

  186. 555 95472
    October 15th, 2012 at 9:14 pm [Reply]

    @Moe Squito-Fish (#165): Hokey and the Bandit?

  187. sally
    October 15th, 2012 at 10:12 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#80):

    I do have children, so allow me to disabuse you of the notion that this works. But I do share your fantasy wish that it would!

  188. Sgt. Stoned
    October 15th, 2012 at 10:13 pm [Reply]

    MW: “You’re going to be alright, Jim. That arm will be growing back in no time and your sister should be rising from the dead any minute now.”

    MT: Sideburns and a moustache. This villian has got to be superbad.

    Snuffy Smif & BB: There’s some bad acid going ’round Hootin Holler and Camp Swampy. Don’t do it, man.

  189. Patrick
    October 15th, 2012 at 10:49 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#182): ?s??? ???? s???? ??o???s ???? pu????d o? ???? ?

  190. Patrick
    October 15th, 2012 at 10:50 pm [Reply]

    @Patrick (#189): Apparently, the comment section doesn’t like upside down text. I said “I like to pretend Slylock talks in upside down.”

  191. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 15th, 2012 at 11:03 pm [Reply]

  192. tallyHO
    October 15th, 2012 at 11:06 pm [Reply]

    @Patrick (#190):

    That might be the case.

    On upside-down text…Uncle Lumpy might know how that magic is done.

  193. tallyHO
    October 15th, 2012 at 11:13 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#191):

    He’s a performer.

    Can’t you just see him in a blue suit and a cape, running barefoot, solving mysteries? And, of course, in a deerstalker. (which might be awfully close to a Deer Hunter for him. j/k)

  194. Poteet
    October 15th, 2012 at 11:33 pm [Reply]

    @sally (#187): Please add to my education and tell me how and why it fails. It’s nice that this fantasy is one that I don’t mind at all being dashed.

  195. Poteet
    October 15th, 2012 at 11:39 pm [Reply]

    I love this strip. Where has it been all my life?

  196. Walker of Dog
    October 15th, 2012 at 11:51 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: Based on his ballcap, Rex is just a city boy, born and raised in south Detroit.
    Don’t stop / Receivin’…

    A3G: “With the slutty outfits I’ve got picked out for you, you’ll be entirely cheap and obvious. There’s this slinky high-slit dress, cut all the way up to… oh, right.”

    FW: I like that gentleman in the back, checking his watch and wondering what’s keeping Death.

    JP: So is Bubba revving the chainsaw menacingly, or does he just carry it around like that?
    “I am Bubba, Wielder of the Chainsaw! Validate me!”

    MT: Mr. Elrod is too discreet to draw it, but below the frame in panel two, our new villain is being serviced by Loni Anderson.

    MW: Dawn: “Now let’s just guide that hand over here to West Boobtown…”

    Plug: I don’t know what Ensure is, or what it does, and I don’t want to know.

  197. He Brought Queenie Baby Jesus
    October 16th, 2012 at 12:08 am [Reply]

    I am in love with Viking in Blue. Look at him. His contempt for Hagar is an inspiration for all. “Your idea of terror involves eating fewer than five meals a day, you cowardly slob. Your stories were a joke. We lost sleep because we conferred for hours afterward, plotting your death. But sure, ‘ghost stories’. Let’s go with that.”

  198. Poteet
    October 16th, 2012 at 12:20 am [Reply]

    JP — Oh, Bubba. You need a black eyepatch and a saber and a parrot on your shoulder. Arrrr.

  199. Poteet
    October 16th, 2012 at 12:22 am [Reply]

    MT — No hair on his chest? That’s just wrong.

  200. Poteet
    October 16th, 2012 at 12:24 am [Reply]

    MW — I say Merry is the lucky one. SHE doesn’t have to look at Dawn’s hairdo.

  201. Poteet
    October 16th, 2012 at 12:28 am [Reply]

    FW — What a magic moment. Les has shut his piehole. If only it could last.

  202. Droopy Says
    October 16th, 2012 at 12:31 am [Reply]

    Spiderbland: This is Parker’s big chance to explain how he always shows up when Spiderman is in action: “I know how Spiderman’s mind works! He’ll got to Vegas because he’s a pissy little bastard who can’t get over his grudge against Kraven! The thought that Kraven was released from prison after serving his sentence will drive him into an insane fury! Even now the creep is scheming to get a free trip to Vegas!”

    Creepy Les: Who’s got the shotgun?

    Family Circus: I’m not going to worry about the rain until the melonheads start lining up in pairs.

    Pluggers: Rhino-man doesn’t mind that people sell the flesh of his swine-neighbors, but he’ll go through the roof himself when he hears what Asians pay for rhinoceros horn.

    Jugs Parker: So Avery is going to save himself? Figures. How much money will Sam make just by showing up?

  203. Droopy Says
    October 16th, 2012 at 12:32 am [Reply]

    Mary Mirthless: “Jim, tel me more about your harowing and nerve-racking tragedy. I’ll bet it was a real nail-biter!”

  204. Poteet
    October 16th, 2012 at 12:35 am [Reply]

    STONE SOUP — For me, Max would be a deal breaker. There are other nice single women whose nephews aren’t unbearable little demons.

  205. Maggie the Cat
    October 16th, 2012 at 12:41 am [Reply]

    FW 10/16- Dat ass.

  206. Girl Reporter
    October 16th, 2012 at 12:46 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#80): A friend of mine’s mother would tell her to “take off your stockings and spit in your shoe” in response to having nothing to do. I just googled it to see if it was a nursery rhyme, but got results that looked like spit-polish fetish how-to, so I didn’t click.

  207. Uncle Lumpy
    October 16th, 2012 at 2:00 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#192):

    Unfortunately, the special characters you need to include “upside-down” text can’t just be pasted into the comment box — although Preview will show them correctly, WordPress will replace them with question marks, and you will feel shame.

    You need a two-step process: first, use an”upside-downer” like this to “invert” the text, and then use its built-in Unicode-to-html converter by clicking “View HTML” to convert the string to something WordPress will pass along to browsers that can display the characters properly. Copy that, paste into the comment box, and you’re good to go.

    ˙sıɥʇ ǝʞı˥

  208. Uncle Lumpy
    October 16th, 2012 at 2:13 am [Reply]

    BTW, the score in Funky Winkerbean panel two is the Wedding March from Mendelssohn’s incidental music for Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream. It’s simplified and an octave down from the original — probably scored for accordion. It’s usually played as a recessional, but it looks like nobody’s taking the hint.

  209. tallyHO
    October 16th, 2012 at 2:32 am [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#207):

    Hmmm… Well then it would seem like it would probably work better if whatever was displayed upside-down is also in ALL CAPS, too. That is kind of tough to read the mixed Caps in the upside-down version of “Like This” .

    It is odd that the Unicode is substituting characters and those characters are aligned not along the baseline but seem to be somehow aligned using the midpoint as a baseline, or just not allowing for capital letters for some characters.

    Let me try:

    (The reason why I wrote this is because these are “safe” letters (surely “osmose” is a better word))

    whiney mimes osmosize my wines
    ʍɥıuǝʎ ɯıɯǝs osɯosızǝ ɯʎ ʍıuǝs
    sǝuıʍ ʎɯ ǝzısoɯso sǝɯıɯ ʎǝuıɥʍ

  210. tallyHO
    October 16th, 2012 at 2:41 am [Reply]


    I usually just read it once or twice a week, so I had to backtrack.

    Sunday’s was about a Jimmy Buffet song (right?)
    He isn’t dead, is he?

    Oh, nevermind. Maybe Fritzi’s alarm clock was playing a song or something.
    Maybe that artist should stop the Fritzi reminiscing because in the long run those strips limit what can be done. I should not have thought Buffet was dead. (not that I’m a fan of his) But, it might confuse the reader (and not just me)

  211. Mr. O'Malley
    October 16th, 2012 at 3:11 am [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#86): Be sure to visit Joe’s Gizzard City in Potterville, Michigan.

  212. This Guy
    October 16th, 2012 at 3:27 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#191): Man, I never get tired of that video.

  213. gleeb
    October 16th, 2012 at 6:53 am [Reply]

    ‘shaft: Ed knows that the aroma of a Montoni’s pizza alone will be punishment for having inconvenienced him. And if eating the thing is the price he has to pay for revenge, he’s willing to do it.

    ‘bean: Why, hello, member of the clergy we never meet because Les worships only the invisible deadwife.

    Mary: How long has Jim been empty-sleeving? Because he has pretty good control over that tray.

    Rex: Again, fate conspires to snatch the fried clams from under June’s nose.

    Dick: Sure, grits. You’re going looking for Bookie the narcotics dealer, aren’t you? Well, don’t look too hard.

  214. Mr. O'Malley
    October 16th, 2012 at 6:57 am [Reply]

    JP: I have to agree with the others, the art here is very good.

    MW: For me, eating cereal for lunch is kind of a danger sign.

    RMMD: If you transport her around in a coffin, people are just going to jump to conclusions! On the positive side, this could be the skeleton at the banquet that puts the kibosh on the hijinks at the apartment building.

    SlyFo: So is Bob Weber Jr. joining in the tribute to Winsor McCay with a “Gertie the Dinosaur” shoutout?

    ZtP: Yes, we know Rocky Rococo. How is that related to the current comic?

  215. Droopy Says
    October 16th, 2012 at 7:04 am [Reply]

    Luann: Shannon is a smart kid. You think not? Most of us still haven’t learned to ignore Luan.

    Creepy Les: There’s a whole story in the way Les and the preacher eye one another. The minister thinks he’s a match for Les. But Les can tell you how many other men of God (and other deities) have tried to exorcise him.

  216. CanuckDownSouth
    October 16th, 2012 at 7:59 am [Reply]

    JP: Avery, it’s a bleedin’ camera. Even if it’s a platinum-plated special edition, it doesn’t cost much for a guy who flies by private plane. What you were saying you wanted was the picture with the fish, a thumb-drive copy of which you could have asked Bea to plead for. But that would require a small amount of sense, and this is a guy who signs contracts nearly unread and without his own lawyer’s counsel.

    RMMD: Guess it was Chekhov’s senior couple yesterday.

  217. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    October 16th, 2012 at 8:13 am [Reply]

    And Peter Parker is actually looking back over his shoulder to see if Jameson’s right. Way to go for your self-respect, Parker.

  218. Hogenmogen
    October 16th, 2012 at 8:21 am [Reply]

    MW: You know his real backstory is that he chewed off his own arm after waking up with his arm under a really ugly chick, right? His therapy is learning to sleep with his arm on top of the ugly chick.

  219. seismic-2
    October 16th, 2012 at 8:26 am [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#208): Of course Les would use the wedding march from A Midsummer Night’s Dream instead of the one from Lohengrin. Remember that Les thinks he’s the modern-day Shakespeare. Personally, when I look at Les I always see the enchanted version of Bottom, so it’s especially appropriate.

  220. Hogenmogen
    October 16th, 2012 at 8:28 am [Reply]

    SM: I like the expression of rage and contempt in panel 2. Like what Hitler must have looked like in the closing days of the war. “Vot is zis ‘Vegas’? I need ze tanks, not ze trollops! Ze guns, not ze gambling! Ya!”

  221. Groucho
    October 16th, 2012 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    How about this? “The stork can fly and therefore wouldn’t need a taxi.” Woo hoo! I can be a detective!

  222. The Doctor
    October 16th, 2012 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    Family Circus: Jeffy has apparently accepted money from the FDA and is now forced to advertise that his body does in fact contain deoxyribonucleic acid, despite his severe genetic mutations.

    Pearls Before Swine: We now discover that Guard Duck is not, in fact, a real duck, but a midget wearing a duck suit. Here he rolls up the sleeve of the garment, hoping for more people to beat up in a drunken rage because of his shame at being forced to wear the suit to make a living.

  223. Daniel
    October 16th, 2012 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    BC It’s so ill-proportioned that I can’t even recognize it as a turtle being carried by a smaller bird–I mean, the wings aren’t even ruffling, and the moovles are way too sedate. It’s also the crappiest way to portray the Stoic/Renaissance motto festina lente that I’ve ever seen.

  224. davey
    October 17th, 2012 at 8:15 pm [Reply]

    The cat may be off the hook for fossil theft, but it won’t save him from the extrajudicial beat-down coming his way for pointing at Slylock while doing the wanking motion.

  225. TheSilentG
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    An apocalyptic future wherein mankind is extinct and cartoon animals achieve sentience…hey, wait a minute! Shylock Fox takes place in the same universe as Rock & Rule! In which case, they really should be talking about “NUKE York City.”

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