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Turnabout!

Dramatic reversals in the Wednesday serials — let’s dive right in!

Spider-Man, 6/25/2008

Oh, snap! Peter can’t stop the Vulture or even get pictures of anybody but himself. Jonah exploits his failure to buy the photos for a pittance, then spins the story so Spidey has to go back at the Vulture, sick or not. Let’s officially retitle this strip Jonah and be done with it.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/25/2008

And in an instant, Rex’s life is changed forever. Effortlessly, doughy Tom Arnold lookalike Max Mallory pierces his tissue of lies and threatens his cover, shield, and only source of strength. The roses in panel two tell us — and Rex — that Max now owns him no less completely than Mary owns Jeff. MRSA can sleep safe tonight.

Mary Worth, 6/25/2008

Today: Mary’s thought-bubbles beat down Jeff’s phone messages. Next: Mary’s emails beat down Jeff’s semaphore signals. Really, this strip could get along perfectly well without people. At least these people.

Apartment 3-G, 6/25/2008

Margo struggles with the whole “Tommie getting more than me” concept. There, there, dear — we’ve all been down that road.

Luann, 6/25/2008

Dear Mom:

Thank you for raising me. I am all grown up now. And a fireman! See my axe? Now shut the fuck up!

Love,

your Bradley

– Uncle Lumpy

213 responses to “Turnabout!”

  1. Jen
    June 25th, 2008 at 2:10 am [Reply]

    Woah, for a minute there, I thought the folks outside the window were supposed to be flashback young-Mary and young-Jeff (with random-brunette). Now I’m disappointed.

  2. True Fable
    June 25th, 2008 at 2:13 am [Reply]

    Dear Mibbitmaker: Bring your snark, I’m still chortling over my barrel of goats for Frank Parsnip from yesterthread.

  3. Mike B.
    June 25th, 2008 at 2:25 am [Reply]

    Where is Tommie’s finger, and why is Tommie smiling?

    …oh, right, it’s in front of her own face. A3G can’t get too interesting now.

  4. Mariko
    June 25th, 2008 at 2:36 am [Reply]

    So, for two days in a row now, Herb and Jamaal has misspelled “prairie.” Is it still a direct reference if they keep calling it “Little House on the Praire”?

  5. Emily
    June 25th, 2008 at 2:41 am [Reply]

    Tommie’s deep self-satisfaction makes me happy.

  6. NotPigeon
    June 25th, 2008 at 2:52 am [Reply]

    A3G: Tommie’s face in the third panel scares me. Greatly. It’s almost as bad as MW yesterday.
    Luann: It’s like the typical sitcom “No dating ’til your married” bit, only it’s the son instead of the daughter. And he’s way to old for his parents to be concerned about the possibility of intercourse… or, well, I guess kissing or hugging or something, seeing as sex doesn’t exist in comics.

  7. Mibbitmaker
    June 25th, 2008 at 2:54 am [Reply]

    I already snarked out at #90 (just a reminder), but I got some more…..

    MW: While unsuspecting Moonies stroll by outside, the indoor scene continues with the re-formatted doormat-on-tape, Dr. Jeff, grovelling in vain to the spiteful, hateful, unforgiving, unreasonable, unsympathetic, only accepts going back in time as a sollution Mary Worth.

    Did I say “unsympathetic”? I meant “unsympathetic to any reasonable person reading the strip, but intended to be perfectly reasonable by the writer, impossible as that sounds”.

    In that case: Mary Worth, meet the Pattersons. Especially Ellie and Michael. And Blanthony.

  8. unclelumpy
    June 25th, 2008 at 3:03 am [Reply]

    #7 M/m –

    I think Karen Moy is playing the long game here. I know I’ve got a soft spot for that sweet minx, but over the past two years we’ve seen dramatic changes in Worthworld. I think “comeuppance” is a big part of Mary’s future. Oh, please let it be so, Karen Moy!

  9. The Ghost of Jarrod
    June 25th, 2008 at 3:08 am [Reply]

    I don’t get it, how are Brad and TJ supposed to get any private time if Brad’s staying with Toni?

  10. Mars
    June 25th, 2008 at 3:18 am [Reply]

    Is Uncle Lumpy really the Vulture?

    Think! Have you ever seen them together?

  11. Mibbitmaker
    June 25th, 2008 at 3:30 am [Reply]

    RMMD: What Tom Arnold meant in panel 2 is: “I saw you with your ‘beard’, Rex…”

    BC: Daddy ant is going to be taught another meaning of the term “no-spin zone” by Mommy ant….

    The “Now That’s More Like It” award today is a tie: 9CL and Dennis Mitchell, come and get your statuettes!

    GA:
    “Really? I’m him!”
    “Naw, I was just kiddin’ ya — I’m from the IRS!”
    “Aw, shit!”

    JP: The cameraman’s being made dizzy and nauseous today — but that last line more than made up for it.

    MT: Has Moss got… moss on his face?? Maybe it wasn’t the storm that spooked the horse — and the skunk — after all.

    Big Dog: Oh, leave Calvin & Hobbes’ words — and Snoopy’s iconic images — alone!!

    MF: YAY for the SUV commentary, BOOOO! on the rest!

    Ziggy: Well, so much for wisdom!

  12. psychobiddy
    June 25th, 2008 at 3:43 am [Reply]

    Margo’s icy, cynical view has finally worn Tommie down. She’s stopped listening & has resorted to playing her own private game of “Things I Would & Would Not Say.”

  13. True Fable
    June 25th, 2008 at 4:00 am [Reply]

    # 8 Uncle Lumpy – Karen Moy has raised my hopes oh so many times, only to dash them against the smugness and meddle that is the hallmark of a pure Mary smirkathon.

    Oh Karen baby, you little plot tease – beat me, whip me, make me read The Lockhorns.

    Truman Fable
    Serial Whipped

  14. Pozzo
    June 25th, 2008 at 6:06 am [Reply]

    “Is Spider-Man Really the Vulture?” ???!? Why would someone who IS a secret identity NEED a secret identity? This is almost like something out of Pirandello, only…not good.

  15. InkAllergy
    June 25th, 2008 at 7:01 am [Reply]

    MW: Wouldn’t it be great to see Mary just loose her freaking mind and displace her anger on the answering machine with the book in her hands? Think about. The smarmy ol’ lady should just go nuts because she can’t meddle-control Jeff and Pavlovian his behavior to her whims. Thus, she just beats down the answering machine in impotent rage, screaming unrelated obscenities the entire time. That’s the strip I want to see!

  16. Brick Bradford
    June 25th, 2008 at 7:12 am [Reply]

    MW Why were young people with backpacks walking by Mary’s window? Isn’t that kind of a wierd thing to happen at a condo complex?

    Luann Brad is SO getting some! I think I’m going to be sick.

    RM So if June puts out for Owen Doublechin he’ll forget about the court case? IOW if she’ll drop her pants he’ll drop his suit? Bonus: June actually gets some and Rex is off the hook for another year.

  17. Dean Booth of the Affect Ad Patrol
    June 25th, 2008 at 7:39 am [Reply]

    RMMD: The colorists called. They’re out of Barbie-colored paint.

    MW: Tommie’s lengthy romance.

  18. Hogenmogen
    June 25th, 2008 at 7:47 am [Reply]

    Luann: Don’t fall for it, Brad. Staying with Toni the Tease won’t get you anywhere but frustrated. If you take her tempting offer, you will be forever relegated to the dreaded FRIEND STATUS. I’m telling you, it’s yet another trap from that sultry tart.

  19. smacky
    June 25th, 2008 at 7:48 am [Reply]

    DT: I like to think Mark Trail talks to his fist o’ justice the same way Dick is today:

    “There, there, my pet. Soon, you’;; be tasting the flesh of a bearded man. I promise…”

  20. smacky
    June 25th, 2008 at 7:49 am [Reply]

    “You’ll” damn it.. You’ll.

    Sigh.

  21. james joyce
    June 25th, 2008 at 7:50 am [Reply]

    I’m holding out for Lu Ann, Bernice, and Delta to make a Pregnancy pact like the girls in Gloucester MA. Can you imagine the look on her parents face then? Brad and Toni, + TJ? Three’s Company, the new Batch!

  22. smacky
    June 25th, 2008 at 7:54 am [Reply]

    GT: So, Elmer’s only chance of staying in America is to get drafted onto a major league baseball team. As a high school student.

    Better keep up those Spanish lessons, kid.

  23. John C Fremont
    June 25th, 2008 at 7:58 am [Reply]

    Since I don’t know diddly about Foob, I can safely say that I’ll enjoy losing this contest!

    RMMD – Why do I get the impression that both Max and Rex are about to say “Wink, wink, nudge, nudge,” to each other? Say no more!

    I’m not thinking Tom Arnold. I’m thinking Vincent D’Onofrio’s surprisingly friendly, not scary twin. With flowers.

  24. Brick Bradford
    June 25th, 2008 at 8:02 am [Reply]

    MT SKUNK STAMPEDE! SKUNK STAMPEDE! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! SKUNK STAMPEDE!

  25. Hogenmogen
    June 25th, 2008 at 8:07 am [Reply]

    A3G:
    “Gary is a total drudge devoid of fun or romance – in other words, he’s perfect for you, Tommie!”

    I’m not quite sure how to take Margo’s world view on men. You can either be
    A) Fun and romantic but wholly unreliable
    B) Reliable, but a boring

    Can’t I be both boring AND unreliable? Can I?

  26. ScienceGiant
    June 25th, 2008 at 8:14 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth: I understand now. The characters in this strip mimic humans without actually being ones, sort of like our shadows or Japanese toys do.

    I know every drama is cranked up to 11 because it’s a soap opera. But seriously, Mary’s first fight and she’s supposed to be thinking her relationship is over? Jeezus!!! Lady, you presume to give us advice and that’s your view of reality?!? Small wonder you’re 80 years and still single.

  27. Hogenmogen
    June 25th, 2008 at 8:14 am [Reply]

    MW: It wasn’t enough to make Dr. Jeff grovel, but now she has it on tape, and is playing it loudly out the window for the benefit of all passers by. See what a gag it is to those three exceptionally well groomed hitchhikers (the middle one is wearing one of Mary’s dresses, even).

  28. Hogenmogen
    June 25th, 2008 at 8:18 am [Reply]

    You know in a similar situation, Mary Worthless would be advising a woman to take back the man that she drove to grovel over the answering machine. But now she’s not even dispensing platitudes, just excuses. She can dish it, but she can’t take it.

  29. Ben
    June 25th, 2008 at 8:22 am [Reply]

    We all know that Toni is going to deflower Brad in the very near future….we don’t want to know details or if Brad will pale in comparison to her previous muscleman, Dirk. My guess is the strip will show it as just Brad with the big stupid smile on his face for a whole week of strips.

    I just want to know if they found the corpses of all the dead hitchhikers that TJ or that old biddy who used to own the house left in the walls and basement.

  30. Harry Worth
    June 25th, 2008 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    Just remember Mary, make up sex is the best.

    Just think of Mary and Dr. Jeff with big shit eating grins on their faces for a week.

  31. gleeb
    June 25th, 2008 at 8:34 am [Reply]

    ‘bean: Forget the Bull/Funky problem. These two girls are identical, except for the glasses.

    36th Chamber of Gloria the Legal Secretary: Well, that’s your problem right there. If her ancestors could feel it, that’s what probably started the blood feud. You could create a temporal paradox like that and kill us all.

    Zippy: That’s right, Griff. We’re all little Fenwicks, disliking your comic because we fear what we don’t understand. It has nothing to do with the repetitiveness, flat writing, or bottomless omphaloskepsis.

  32. smacky
    June 25th, 2008 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    #23: John, I thought the same thing: Isn’t Vincent D’Onofrio’s character on Criminal Intent a cop? Thank goodness he’s not bald, or he’d be Private Pyle from Full Metal Jacket!

  33. Patrick
    June 25th, 2008 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth starts out with the picture of three happy, attractive young people, but then reminds you that you’re reading a comic strip about an elderly nagging biddy listening to her answering machine.

    It’s like that part in Reservoir Dogs when Mr. Blonde goes outside for a minute, and the world is normal, but then it’s back to terror and bloodshed.

  34. Calico
    June 25th, 2008 at 8:57 am [Reply]

    #26 and #40 FOOB contest thread – Thank you so very much for giving me a massive stomach ache from laughing.

    I just had to take a call from work during my fit and had to straighten up fast, fast. Heeeeeee!

  35. Inspector Dim
    June 25th, 2008 at 9:00 am [Reply]

    “Is J. Jonah Jameson Really Adolf Hitler? THINK! Have you ever seen them together?”

    “Is New York really Los Angeles? THINK! Have you ever seen them together? Plus they have all the same people”

    “Is Peter Parker really a toolbag? THINK! Have you ever seen him with a toolbag?”

  36. Tabby Lavalamp
    June 25th, 2008 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    Next week in Luann: Luann’s mother ensures her daughter doesn’t get the HPV vaccination so that she doesn’t turn into a filthy little slut.

  37. Calico
    June 25th, 2008 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    FOOB – Pigeons shit a lot, too.

    RM – Max, you flirtatious thing, you!

    JP – Whoa, vertigo!

    MT – Super-Skunk to the rescue!

    FC – Not if you’re Mary Worth.

    H & L – Anthony’s Kid-Cage® makes an appearance. How sweet.

  38. Tweeks_Coffee
    June 25th, 2008 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    Archie: Asking your dad to leave the room so you can mac on your boyfriend; creepy.
    H&J:Blondie: Ha ha! Kids don’t agree with their parents about that type of music.
    DtM: This is normally the time when a mother would be questioning why your son was rolling around in the mud completely nude.
    DT: Considering that you’re the one who did it last time, Tracy, you may wanna lock yourself out of that room.
    FW: In the future; MTV has become edgy again. Unless this just happens to be a commercial between airings of My Super Sweet 16.
    GT: For some reason, I can’t stop staring at Kaz’s ass. I have no explanation for why Gil is in Mark Trail cosplay in the first panel.
    H&J: That’d be; prairie, not “praire”. Here to help.
    MF: So close, Tinsley… so close.
    MW: Hey, it’s Vera! Apparently she’s going back to school, high school by the looks of it, and has even made some friends there. Well good for her. Mary’s condo is a dizzying array of colors, isn’t it? Her yellow couch, pink curtains, mint green walls and Tony the Tiger ™ pillows all combine to make one horrifying palette.
    OBH: Cripes, someone’s finishing a cigarette every 20 feet? They’re gonna find this guy laying on the ground and wheezing for breath at the corner.
    Popeye: Ah, so the Sea Hag endorses diplomatic means to end conflicts. She’s quite cunning, can I vote for her in a couple months?
    RMMD: I dunno, UL, I was kinda reading this the other way. Rex is gonna use his hot, hot wife to leverage his way into Max’s cold black heart.
    S4th: A half-mile!? God lord, that thing’s gotta be huge!
    tAS: That wolf’s got no eyes! Maybe he’s like that creature from Pan’s Labyrinth and he’s looking at his hips right now.
    Zits: I like that Walt appears to down bottles of wine on a regular basis. All while wearing his Manfred Mann t-shirt too.

  39. Randalll
    June 25th, 2008 at 9:13 am [Reply]

    Luann: Go to your room Opedius!

    Geez mama Degroot, your son lives with a poofy accident prone lying little faggot and you’re okay with that, but moving in with a girl and its a big problem. Is it the fact that she’s kinda strong and sel assurred that bothers you so much? If Dad degroot wasn’t totally PW’d he’d have involutarily backslapped her into silence. Brad’s a lump and for him to catch a babe like toni is a lottery hit.

    What’s a matter with these people?

  40. Calico
    June 25th, 2008 at 9:15 am [Reply]

    Well, I looked for “Elly’s Rap Song” and could not find it – but here’s a nice little rant about FOOB that I would like to dedicate to all of you:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ztaebBzytos

  41. Calico
    June 25th, 2008 at 9:16 am [Reply]

    #40 – That is not me, BTW – I don’t know this person in the vid but she’s quite funny.

  42. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    June 25th, 2008 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    So many comics, so many questions…

    A3G: Where’s Tommie’s finger been and why is she sniffing it?

    Archie: What does Mr. Lodge have against midget Archie impersonators?

    A.D.: Why is an ant more menacing than Dennis?

    BH: Why is it so hard to grasp that even if you can’t draw, breasts should be round?

    C’Shaft: How could I have forgotten to put this crusty old culady on the list of comics women Jamus does not want to sex up?

    (WT)DT: What’s with the silhouette with the luminous eye and teeth in panel 1? Did the artist just get tired of drawing and decide to splash in a bunch of black ink and call it a day? And how are we going to have an Archie comic tomorrow if the AJGLU-3K is moonlighting as a “bank warning system”?

    EC: So, is that how Terry and Patty LeBan render The Lockhorns?

    GA: Did anyone else on the planet enter that stupid contest?

    thorps. Of course! Sports solves everything! But why do Gil and Kaz look like they’re planning a panty raid in panel 2?

    JP: Sam, if you’ve only got 15 minutes to go meet the Judge (it was 15 minutes as of two days ago, which means you’ve probably got about 14:52 left now), and you’re so strapped for time that you can’t talk to Horace, who is presumably a paying client, do you really have time to banter with Gloria about a plotline that finished up two weeks ago?!

    Luann: Say, Ma, have you ever heard the term “buzzkill”? No? Or “cockblocker”? How about “the grandchildren you’re never going to get if you don’t keep your big honkin’ nose out of my love life”?

    MT: Where’d they get those huge tents, the Ren Faire? The local Ford-Chrysler-Jeep dealer? A traveling circus?

    Marvin: Wow, no veiled ethnic references today?

    Momma: Geez, Sonya, did you forget that you put the kibosh on another one of Marylou’s engagements just yesterday?!

    Phantom: “Well, no, not until I can fix the plane… now, where do you suppose I could get a wren-” *CLANG!!!*

    Shoe: Can we be done with the “Gosh! Gasoline sure costs a lot!” jokes soon? Please?

    SFx: Am I the only one who’s going to have nightmares over this panel?

    S-M: How can Spider-Man also be The Vulture, when he’s also secretly the Pope? Think about it, have you ever seen those two together? Ooh, and maybe the President is secretly Richard Simmons! Ever think of that?

    Zits: Isn’t there someone better qualified than Walt to pimp out their T-shirt space to music acts? Oh, yeah, there is.

  43. Hank
    June 25th, 2008 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    RE: 9CL. So, is the point of this entire series that Edda is some sort of narcissistic sociopath? Because, as near as I can tell, most of the plots revolve around her overreacting and pouting for days over every slight, real or imagined, no matter how slight.

  44. PeterBeck
    June 25th, 2008 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    I’m concerned with the supposed backpacking students outside her window.

    They don’t look like teens or even college students. They look like they’re in their 30s!

    …Their 1930s. *ba dum bum bum!*

  45. Calico
    June 25th, 2008 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    #43 – Is Edda perchance related to Mary Worth?

  46. HC
    June 25th, 2008 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    #23 & #32:
    Yes!

  47. Niall
    June 25th, 2008 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    How do you spell emasculation? B-R-A-D-S-M-O-M

  48. Doc Gooden
    June 25th, 2008 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    #22 – Baseball players get drafted out of high school all the time. He’d just be in the minors for a few years or more likely forever until he develops a substance abuse problem, becomes abusive towards the blindly faithful Brendan, and eventually becomes a low-level scout who owes Gil Thorp a favor, thus completing the circle.

    Also you probably have to, like, register for the draft.

  49. Justafoob
    June 25th, 2008 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    Everyone can have cookies.

    Well except for Gwampah.

    LJ doesn’t have enough time to include him and his relations with his loved ones in the strip.

  50. John C Fremont
    June 25th, 2008 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    # 32 – Yes, but a friendly Private Pyle. A pre-soap-beating Pyle.

  51. The Mighty Monarch
    June 25th, 2008 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    FW: Jinx honors her father’s wish that they be as “close” as Les and Summer. Bull belatedly realizes that should leave the nauseous, sexually-tense father-daughter situations to the pros.

    S-M: JJJ alleges that Spider-Man and the Vulture have never been photographed together, but in lieu of a picture of either opts for a close-up of his own ugly mug. That’s some fine work, boss!

  52. Burrill
    June 25th, 2008 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    Does Luann always go that light on the punctuation? It’s like the only person who can finish a thought or show any verbal emotion is Brad, and then only when he’s completely baffled. An attractive woman offering him a place to stay? This makes no sense! The pigs! They’re flying!

  53. Justafoob
    June 25th, 2008 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ztaebBzytos

    Lia, will you run away with me?

  54. Anonymous
    June 25th, 2008 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    Think! Have you ever seen them together?

    that’s the most hideous piece of evidence i have ever come across. i don’t think it even qualifies as “circumstantial” since the evidence is based on an event that *did not* occur ..

  55. kitty
    June 25th, 2008 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    I’m fairly sure Osama bin Laden has wept at some point today. If America’s the devil, then having Peter Parker mention your name must be like the most tediously pathetic version of hell.

  56. aldomaniac
    June 25th, 2008 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    I honestly thought, at first glance, that the threesome outside of Mary’s window were exchanging snickering glances about the tepid drama they were overhearing through the window. Sadly, that’s not the case. And what ARE those youngsters doing at Charterstone? Candystripers?!

  57. A Lemur
    June 25th, 2008 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    Tracy: Now I’ll process the image and find out who turned off our electric lights… Good Gravy!! It’s me! I’m the perp! Damn, now I have to haul myself down to the interrogation room and have O’Reilly beat the crap out of me. Again. Oh, yesss, sweet, sweet interrogation…

    Crimeschlopper´s textbook: ¨Remember kids, a life of crime is like spoiled milk, if you go bad there’s no going back, and have to be killed. Or poured down a drain. Or maybe a smokestack, that works also. That´s why the policeman is your friend. Until you go bad. Just sayin’. ¨

  58. Gabacho
    June 25th, 2008 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth – Why not try seeking some other biddie’s advice on how to handle the situation? A letter to Dear Abby perhaps:

    Dear Abby,

    I broke a date with my long term boyfriend to have dinner with another man. We were photographed and put on the
    gossip pages. Now my boyfriend is being petulant.

    How should I punish him.

    Santa Mary Royale

    Dear SMR,

    How about you apologize?

    or call a radio show

    Mary: Oh, Dr Laura, thank you so much for taking my call. You are truly the wisest woman ever. My dilemma is that I had dinner with another man who is really just a friend and my boyfriend found out and now he’s angry but …

    Dr. Laura: You’re a slut, just like all women who aren’t me are sluts.

    Rex Morgan – Rex is beginning to discover the joy and mystery of the cuckold lifestyle. June is about to cheer up.

  59. A Lemur
    June 25th, 2008 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    MW: See Jeff grovel. Grovel, Jeff, grovel. Now lick Mary’s shoe. Lick, Jeff, lick!

    Mary has a new blog and needs lots and lots of photos to fill it…

  60. Mibbitmaker
    June 25th, 2008 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    #45 (Calico): Exactly! One more can be added…

    Mary Worth, Edda from 9CL, and Liz Patterson (remember Eric and Paul?)

    Mary, Edda ‘n’ Liz: Three of a kind!

    Would Margo make it a foursome?

  61. sldawgs
    June 25th, 2008 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    Luann – I think Mr. Degroot just got whiplash.

  62. CanuckDownSouth
    June 25th, 2008 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    Hogenmogen-25 … but then you’d be Anthony.

    - Therese

  63. Art Vandelay
    June 25th, 2008 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    9 Chickweed: Usually this strip is just a waste of ink. But today, it’s a waste of a LOT of ink.

    Foob: Another flashback to young Michael the out-of-control hellion. Lynn, um, Elly really IS a saint you know.

    Luann: Brad, your mommy says you must live at HER house, not with your way-out-of-your-league superhot girlfriend. Do what your mommy says, Mr. Heroic Fireman. You are in your mid-20s, so you have no choice but to do what mommy tells you.

    Thorp: A team wouldn’t waste a visa on a non-prospect. Surre, they might waste a last-round draft pick as a favor to an old scout, teams do that on occasion. But visas are needed for any international minor leaguers a team signs, they wouldn’t waste one on someone who isn’t in their plans. And would Elmer even be eligible for the draft as an illegal alien?

    Curtis: You know how black people love their chicken and ribs!

    Trail: I’ve frequently seen talking animals in panel 2 of this strip, but talking lightning bolts? That’s a new one.

    Spiderman: Is the TV broken or something? They’ve been using newsapers to lazily advance the plot instead of the TV lately. No wonder Spiderman’s sick, he hasn’t had his TV fix in days! THINK! Have you ever seen Peter Parker and the TV together? Why yes, all the time in fact.

  64. OverCat
    June 25th, 2008 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    #42 SSB – re: Marvin. I expected one, too, and it’s there, I believe – she’s expected to do her own stunts like Jackie Chan. The run continues.

    Maybe next she’ll eat her lunch in panel one and be hungry again by panel three.

  65. gnome de blog
    June 25th, 2008 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    I’m surprised nobody mentioned Margo’s double head bobble with a half twist.

  66. Groovymarlin
    June 25th, 2008 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    I have to admit, Funky Cancerbean has me stumped today. Anyone help me out?

  67. AhClem
    June 25th, 2008 at 11:29 am [Reply]

    #42 SS-B -
    “Ooh, and maybe the President is secretly Richard Simmons! Ever think of that?”

    That would certainly explain a lot.

  68. T. Chicana
    June 25th, 2008 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    MW: Those kids are totally cracking up while listening to an old man grovel on an answering machine. Careful, kids, you don’t know how close you are to the biddy lair! Just keep moving. Nothing to see here.
    And since when is Mary on the ground floor? For some reason I seem to remember Aldo cornering her in the elevator…? Maybe she was on her way upstairs to a prior meddle-gagement or somethin that day…HMMM.

    Funky HorribleBean: Yikes. I guess in the Funkyverse, having painfully awkward moments with your dad while seeing a sex scene or dirty language on TV is something they ENJOY. Huh.

  69. ar_d
    June 25th, 2008 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    #42 Spider-Brick, you could very well be right about S-M but I won’t fully believe it until I see a photograph of BXVI secretly thwip-ing through the Vatican. :)

  70. unclelumpy
    June 25th, 2008 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    #66 Groovymarlin –

    Bull wants to bond with adopted daughter Jinx, but she keeps showing him aspects of her life (geek museums, risqué TV channels) that exclude him. Friday or Saturday we’ll have, “But what we really have in common is each other.” And then a plug for some northeastern Ohio landscaping service or some damn thing.

    It’s apparently called writing.

  71. Joe Blevins
    June 25th, 2008 at 11:44 am [Reply]

    J. Jonah Jameson is a dope. He clearly shot his wad with the subhead of his own editorial. Think! That’s all he’s got. He had nothing left to say in the actual article part of his article, which is why it consists of the same nonsense word typed over and over again. I say again, he’s a dope.

    Meanwhile, the gang from Riverdale is backpacking through “Mary Worth.”

  72. commodorejohn
    June 25th, 2008 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    9CL – Okay, will someone wake me when this damn storyline is over?

    A3G – Oh man, best Apartment 3-G final panel ever.

    AS – Well, as if the joke weren’t lame enough, that is the most appallingly wrong perspective I’ve ever seen. Even Gil Thorp hasn’t gotten its angles this atrociously out of whack.

    Baldo – While I still have mixed feelings about this strip in general, I have to admit that Gracie is 100% pure awesome. She’s going to grow up to make some lucky geek very happy.

    Crankshaft – Ha ha, the hypocrisy of the oppressors sure is hilarious, isn’t it?

    Curtis – So…Gunther’s obvious fabrication aside, why would you brag about associating with Jeremiah Wright? Sharpton at least has some modicum of respectability associated with him (well…nah, that’s a rant for another day and another place,) but Wright is just crazy.

    DTM – And today turns out to be one of those days where Dennis desperately attempts to reclaim its menace. Nice try, KetchumCo, but not quite.

    FOOB – Well, this is…confusing. I presume this is another strip picked for rerunning to demonstrate just how horrible and sympathy-inducing Lynn’s Elly’s life has been, but…well, there’s nothing bad about it, and Elly herself seems more bemused than upset. I guess Lynn has reached the conclusion that any strip showing Elly dealing in any way with her family is proof of how long-suffering and deserving of praise and honor she is.

    FW – Maybe the Internet has just jaded me, but I don’t think mere foul language could provoke that reaction, in a football coach, no less.

    GA – Dammit, I have no hope for this storyline anymore, except that maybe Kitty will take ill on the flight and have explosive diarrhea all over the set. But now it’s just another yes-Virginia-there-is-a-Chef-Meowrice piece of tripe. Crap.

    GT – I love how hilariously down Elmer looks in the final panel. Also, Kaz’s hair might not be at its full Heat Miser glory, but I still find it amusing.

    HOTC – I’m hoping this turns into a mysterious-creature-stalking-in-the-dark storyline, because a week spent looking for a flashlight would be only slightly more entertaining than a week of Luann’s dad trying to change a lightbulb.

    Luann – Brad DeGroot: the male Liz Patterson.

    Momma – God almighty, Momma is forty-seven years older than Mary-Lou? She’s got to be pushing 70, then.

    PBS – I hate to break it to you, Pig, but the Bluetooth cyborgs are speedily taking over. Humanity’s only real hope is to get the hell off the planet and detonate the Sun.

    PC – At least when Scott Stantis can’t caricature someone, he tries to avoid drawing them. You know, as opposed to the Bruce Tinsley route of “pick a random facial feature and exaggerate it beyond all reason, even if it’s probably the least pronounced thing about the subject.”

    Popeye – I laughed.

    RMMD – Wow. I didn’t know Jackson Pollock did hospitals.

    Edison Lee – Shut up, you whiny little shit. Millie gets to make this complaint because she can actually make semi-reasonable political analyses. You, on the other hand, have yet to demonstrate the intelligence of even an average ten-year-old, lameass deus ex machinaed gadgets notwithstanding.

    Zits – I didn’t even know Manfred Mann had shirts.

  73. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    June 25th, 2008 at 11:53 am [Reply]

    A couple more burning questions:

    PC: Would the conservatives rather have Obama vote to stop funding the troops already in the field? OK, scratch that, I already know the answer. Try this question instead: Why is it so difficult for conservatives to grasp the distinction between “supporting the war” and “supporting the troops”?

    ZtP: Has anyone ever seen Zippy and inscrutable rock singer Beck together? Think about it… couldn’t you see Zippy yelling out nonsequitur lyrics like “Drive-by body pierce!” and “Get crazy with the Cheez-Whiz!”? I now have a voice for my pain.

  74. Hogenmogen
    June 25th, 2008 at 11:54 am [Reply]

    In that over-the-top wankfest of comic crossovers involving Blondie & Dagwood’s 75th anniversary, we never did see Spiderman pay a visit. Is Dagwood really Spidey? Think! Have you ever seen….

    This tag line had better end today. I’m not a marine biologist or anything, but I can’t handle another inside joke. More information on CC inside jokes can be found on the internet, mule!

  75. Oddball Cargo
    June 25th, 2008 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    “No, I would most certainly not”?

    WTF, Tommie? Is that the best you can do? God, I think Archie has less-stilted dialog than anything that comes out of Tommie’s trap. How about:

    “I don’t know, Margo… he might be a drudge, but the man gives good head. He’s meticulous and thorough. You probably wouldn’t enjoy that.”

    “I would say that either, Margo. But mind you, I’m not a wretched bitch incapable of experiencing human emotions, so, you know… we’re different, is what I’m saying.”

  76. Sally
    June 25th, 2008 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    Are those people hanging around outside Mary’s window eavesdropping? Can they read her thoughts? I guess it’s easy when they’re in block letters in nice, neat bubbles.

  77. Norm
    June 25th, 2008 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    MW: Those kids outside Mary’s window look like they have that disease that makes you look like your 80 years old, when your actually 12. I think I saw something like that on the Maury Povich show…

  78. essteess
    June 25th, 2008 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

    #39 “Luann: Go to your room Opedius!”
    (Think that’s “Oedipus”)

    ObOut of Context Punchline:
    “Oedipus, Shmedipus — as long as he loves his mother.”

    You know, I love my (nearly adult) children dearly and want only the best for them, spiritually, emotionally, and all else. But given the scenario of (A) having said child move in with a friend (albeit with a “romantic interest” label clearly affixed) or (B) having said child move back home, thereby creating the prospect of decreased living space and proportionately increased stress, arguments over monetary contributions to offset use of utilities, food, etc…well, I think Mama DeGroot needs to finish snipping away the umbilical cord.

    Spider-Man: An interview waiting to happen — someone, sometime, has to ask Stan Lee why-the-hell Marvel gave Jameson the Hitler mustache in the first place, and why, after so many years, they won’t take it away.

    Mary Worth: Assuming her answering machine is good old-fashioned analog (and why wouldn’t it be?), I’m thinking Mary must have a closet somewhere where she keeps an archive of these recordings. It would house collections like “Vols 1-10: People Who Come Crawling Back to Me,” “Men I’ve Led On (A-M)” and “Tobey Affirms My Omnipotence (Jan. 1998-May 2003).”
    So, in those rare moments when she isn’t meddling, er, selflessly giving of her time, wisdom and experience, Mary sits in her room listening to the tapes and laughing maniacally.

  79. rredd
    June 25th, 2008 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    Ah, the silver haired vixen strikes again. She steps out on her beloved, yet with a mere flick of her wrist she sent him out the door, only to come grovelling back to beg her forgiveness for expecting her to be loyal only to him.

  80. Paul1963
    June 25th, 2008 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    #72 commodorejohn– The oldest son in Momma (Thomas–you know, the one who always wears a suit and a hat like he’s visiting from 1962?) is in his early forties and Francis (the one Sonya is always either hectoring about getting a job or telling what a worthless bum he is) is perpetually 22. I’ve lost track of whether Marylou is supposed to be older or younger than Francis, so it’s entirely possible that Sonya really is 47 years older than her daughter.

    All of which is way more brainpower than anyone should be investing in Momma.
    I’m now picturing Marylou stuffing Sonya’s body down a nearby wishing well, since there’s no window nearby to fling her though…

  81. Paul1963
    June 25th, 2008 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    #78 esteess: Since Jameson was designed by Steve Ditko, you’d have to ask him about the mustache. Good luck with that, and be prepared to hear more about Ayn Rand and absolutism than anyone needs to know. :)

  82. Uncle Lumpy
    June 25th, 2008 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

    #80 Paul –

    Momma‘s Mel Lazarus and Steve Canyon‘s Milton Caniff were friends. Milt gave Mel an enormous charcoal drawing of Steve Canyon, which Mel promptly had framed and hung over his living-room couch. Mel reciprocated by giving his friend nothing at all.

    Nicest gift ever.

  83. commodorejohn
    June 25th, 2008 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    #74 Hogenmogen – Well, they do both spend a lot of time watching TV and disappointing their bosses…

  84. gump worsley
    June 25th, 2008 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    Do all the kids at Charterstone walk around with their thumbs in their backpack straps like someone on Hee-Haw?

  85. gh
    June 25th, 2008 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    Turns out Jeff Cory is really Man With a Spine. I mean, have you ever seen . . .

    #74 Hogenmogen claims not to be a marine biologist. Yet he offers no photo evidence. Hmmm.

    #82 Uncle Lumpy –

    I’ve been to Mell’s house. I’ve seen the drawing. It’s very . . . big.

  86. AhClem
    June 25th, 2008 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

    FOR SALE: The last shreds of my dignity. Barely used. I no longer need them. Make offer. Call Dr. Jeff Corey, Charterstone, 555-7624.

  87. Hawkeye
    June 25th, 2008 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    MW: Forget the romantic drama, I want to know why 30-year-olds still go to school in Santa Royale.

  88. mordock999
    June 25th, 2008 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

    Today’s Luann (06/25/08) :

    Uncle Lumpy you beat me to it with your snappy comeback to the preditctable Mrs. Degroot.

    Also, AMEN to the comments of #s 39, 42 and 78!

    Brad, there comes a time that every “child” MUST ignore the advice of their parents. THIS IS IT!

    Mrs. Degroot. Shouldn’t you be writting out TJ’s Eviction Notice???

    _________________

    DEATH to TJ!

  89. Honeypot
    June 25th, 2008 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

    I nominate Uncle Lumpy’s letter from Brad as COTW. Perfect. I laughed so hard.

  90. Chromium
    June 25th, 2008 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

    Luann: What the hell are we supposed to get out of this? Is this strip aimed at fundamentalists or what? Is the mom supposed to be a nutcase or does Greg Evans expect us to chuckle softly and think, “Nice try, Brad–but the Lord will find you a woman soon enough”?

  91. Hogenmogen
    June 25th, 2008 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

    #85 – gh – Using JJJ’s logic, I dated a girl that eventually became a marine biologist. I was photographed with her many times. Therefore, I can not, myself, be a marine biologist.

  92. Colinski
    June 25th, 2008 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    Not so fast Peter, Jonah can just as easily claim you are Osama Bin Laden. After all, you’ve certainly never been seen with him.

  93. Steve the Pocket
    June 25th, 2008 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

    #51: To be fair, that’s the Op-Ed page, and that’s more or less the norm for those columns. Doesn’t explain the massiveness of the photo or the headline, but that might just be an extreme close-up of the page.

    Bizarro: There probably isn’t a stand-up comedian alive who hasn’t made this point already. Come on, man. There’s better humor potential in “Fortune Cookie Monster”; think, man!

    Hagar: I thought Lucky Eddie didn’t drink. I guess that’s a gigantic root beer, then.

    Curtis: Wow. After a primary relatively devoid of “you have to vote for Obama we need a First Black President already!” the Bill Cosby of cartoonists totally blows it.

    Buckles: Speaking of black, haven’t we already seen this black squirrel in another storyline? Scrappy seems to be acting like he’s never seen it before.

    My Cage: “… and complaining about things on the Internet.” I know the cartoonist has been spotted here, so one guess what inspired that line. Also I’m stealing the term “indoorsman.”

    Shoe: WHAT

  94. cheech wizard
    June 25th, 2008 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

    I think it would be a great idea for Brad to move in with Toni. There’s great potential for a new running gag in which we see Brad lying gloomily awake at night while listening to Toni having screaming sex in the next room with an endless variety of guys who actually turn her on. Then they all attempt to make cheery small talk with him at breakfast the next day. Great fun, eh?

  95. essteess
    June 25th, 2008 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    #91 I wonder if JJJ subscribes to this bit of logic, which comes from the TV series “Yes, Minister”:

    (Logic according to politicians)
    All dogs have four legs
    My cat has four legs
    Therefore, my cat is a dog

    Also, I can emphatically state, with supporting photographic evidence, that I am NOT my own grandpa.

  96. gh
    June 25th, 2008 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

    #91 Hogenmogen –

    And yet, still no actual photo. Only reports of photos. You’re just digging yourself in deeper. Look, there’s no taint in being a marine biologist. Not if you wash up after, anyway. ‘Fess up! We’re holding the presses.

  97. essteess
    June 25th, 2008 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

    >Look, there’s no taint in being a marine biologist.

    Or even _claiming_ to be a marine biologist (see “Costanza, George”)

  98. commodorejohn
    June 25th, 2008 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

    #94 cheech wizard – Oh man, I would pay money to see that in the papers.

  99. Hogenmogen
    June 25th, 2008 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

    Luann: I’m tellin’ ya, Brad, don’t do it. You work with her, now you’re going to live with her? 24/7 gets old. Why do you think they change the picture on calendar pinups every month? You’d be surprised to find out how fast “hot” turns into “not” when you walk into the bathroom to find a few icky unmentionables from that time of the month lying in the trash, or two minutes after she’s just let loose an anal wind tunnel and the smell is so thick and palpable that you’d swear it was a new weather condition that is afflicting your lavatory.

    What happens when the house is rebuilt? Dude, get TJ in there, you know he doesn’t like women. He’d be your eyes and ears and walking billboard advertisement. Maybe his secret fetish is to hear hot chicks beef up a storm, too. So it’s a win-win-win, really.

  100. Hogenmogen
    June 25th, 2008 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    #96 – gh – “, there’s no taint in being a marine biologist.”

    That’s what I’m sayin’, gh. I ‘taint no marine biologist.

  101. cheech wizard
    June 25th, 2008 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    DtM – Dennis got away before Mr. Wilson and the other villagers were able to apply the feathers.

    A3G – I wouldn’t necessarily say Tommie’s getting more than Margo. This is Tommie we’re talking about – “fun and romance” has a pretty low bar here.

    FW – MTV? Did we just do another time leap, only this time back 20 years? Maybe Lisa will come in with a tray of brownies.

    H&L – I think this is the first time we’ve seen evidence of cartoon characters aging in this strip – that looks like Sluggo’s illegitimate bastard.

    Dipweed Duck – Yes, the federal government is totally unnecessary – none of the really stable and prosperous countries have one.

    Big Dog – I really could have gone through my day just fine without seeing a picture of Marmaduke putting the pinkie to his doghouse, thank you very much.

    FC – Billy’s kinda young to be suffering from erectile dysfunction already, isn’t he?

  102. Deborah
    June 25th, 2008 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

    MW: The young people outside the window are cracking up over Jeff’s phone message. It’s fucking KILLING them. And that’s not all, they’re also recording it.

    They are going to go home, set it to music, do a dance reenactment, and tomorrow it’ll be all over YouTube. Take THAT Mary Bitchworth!

  103. cheech wizard
    June 25th, 2008 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    98/commodorejohn – Maybe we can bribe Evans and the syndicate editors…

  104. Artist formerly known as Ben
    June 25th, 2008 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: Well, June will be glad of the male attention. Max Mallory might not be the first man she’d pick, but he’s there.

    MW: Meanwhile, Vera and her two backpacking buddies prepare to shoot a Mentos commercial.

    MF: Midway through trashing SUV’s, Bruce Tinsley remembers which side he’s on and makes it all about liberals. Identity crisis averted.

    A3G: I’m tempted to blow the third panel up and have it framed.

    9CL: As long as Brooke has anything to say about it, there are two friends who will never part: Stunning graphics and pretentious storytelling.

    RiR: Now a reference to one of John Cage’s more notorious pieces is not something I’d expect in the comics. Maybe a webcomic written by a Berklee student.

    SFx: Baiting the spider. Is that wise? The homeowner has to open the window sometime.

    Rufus: Rufus needs a lucky break. He even lost his surname in a poker game.

    Baldo: Yes, you should go to college. Yes, you’re insane.

    Archie: What they don’t show you is Mr. Lodge laying six inches of old money pipe in Archie’s ass.

    H&J: More specific pop-cultural references. Opposite week continues.

    H&L: Trixie. Is. Batman.

    Marvin: At least she didn’t request Jackie Chan as a stunt double. Tom may be taking baby steps away from stereotype.

    GT: Department of Deus Ex Machina Department. Only the truly elite among student athletes get drafted to the Majors while still in high school. Yet that’s Gil’s back-up plan. Despite Milford’s athletics being deeply average these past few years. In other words, don’t try this at home, kids.

    DtM: Dennis, Joey, and Gina have been playing Woodstock out back.

  105. Moss_Moses
    June 25th, 2008 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

    “I smacked that terri’st so hard her ancestors felt it”. Huh? Why the macho bragadoccio? First of all, it was a girly little bitch slap that the bumbling terr’ist herself barely felt, let alone her progenitors. Secondly, I doutbt that terr’ist wannabe ever made it out of Al Qaeda Terr’ism 101. She really belongs in Gitmo with Richard Reid. They could chat about screwing up their operations in the stupidest, most inept and incompetent fashion. So, Gloria basically stole candy from a baby and now she’s talking trash like she’s all bad.

    Here’s what her slap looked like in slo-mo:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3BRw_ihZRJI

  106. Donald The Anarchist
    June 25th, 2008 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

    A3G “Because NOBODY is boring with an erection!” God, I wish women believed that…

    RMMD “Ya ever seen her naked?”

    MW There are crack whores with more self-respect that Dr. Jeff right now…

    Luanne Brad, tell your mom you demand the right to smoke weed and peruse your porn in the living room. You could also threaten to have a farting contest with your dad.

  107. Meesher
    June 25th, 2008 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

    Can you imagine the fury that would rain down on Brad if he made it with a girl? “No mother; I’m sorry, mother; don’t kill her, mother!”
    Could it be that the Luann parents are extreme self-hating heterophobes? Like The Ghost of Jarrod suggested, they don’t mind him living with a guy.

  108. gh
    June 25th, 2008 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

    #100 Hogenmogen –

    Touchy? Or touché? We’ll let the editor decide.

  109. cheech wizard
    June 25th, 2008 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    104/ AFKAB – Actually, lots of high school seniors get drafted – they’re by far the majority of draftees. And most of the players drafted out of college have historically been ones who were drafted in previous years, but didn’t sign contracts in order to play college ball, and therefore re-entered the draft pool the following year – though this may have changed.

    A more reliable option, as I’ve noted before, would be for Elmer to join the Army – it’s pretty common among illegals hoping to get a fast track to citizenship. Then he can put his fielding skills to good use catching bullets.

  110. your father isn't mr. cohen
    June 25th, 2008 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    #39: I would like to respectfully ask people to please not use the word “faggot.” Thank you.

  111. cheech wizard
    June 25th, 2008 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    P.S./Ben – looking back at your post, getting drafted by the Tigers doesn’t mean Elmer would play in the majors – he’d play in their farm system, along with tons of other South and Central American draftees who received visas to play here.

  112. True Fable
    June 25th, 2008 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    #107 Meesher – Well, with TJ they know it’s true love. Toni’s just a dalliance.

  113. Anon
    June 25th, 2008 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

    #110 How am I supposed to describe this bundle of sticks I have?

    Or these cigarettes?

  114. True Fable
    June 25th, 2008 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    #113 Anon –

    1. “bundle of sticks”
    2. “cigarettes”

    See? You did very well.

    Come on, folks. If you are aware that a word or phrase offends someone else, please just have the courtesy to not use it for the sake of goodwill. This is a wonderful, friendly site so let’s not foster hard feelings or ill will, okay?

  115. Anon
    June 25th, 2008 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

    Stop with the Foob talk.

    That word hurts.

  116. commodorejohn
    June 25th, 2008 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

    #114 True Fable – That’s all very well, but how are we supposed to refer to the traditional British meatballs?

  117. Daily Comics Reviewer
    June 25th, 2008 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

    You’d think for all of the horribly inaccurate articles in the Daily Bugle ever few days that they wouldn’t be able to maintain an adequate readership to keep printing. They must have an amazing comics page.

  118. NJR
    June 25th, 2008 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

    Is J. Jonah really Hitler? Think! Have you ever seen them together?

    …Well, there was that one time they were caught Frenching, but aside from that.

  119. Little Guy
    June 25th, 2008 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

    Luann: I’m waitng for the day Brad achieves complete financial independence from his parents. I’ve seen man walk on the moon, and all four Boston teams win championships, so it *is* possible.

    His mom’s head will asplode.

  120. True Fable
    June 25th, 2008 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

    #116 commodorejohn – That’s easy! Inedible! :P

  121. Baka Gaijin
    June 25th, 2008 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    #42 The Spectacular Spider-Brick: wrote

    Marvin: Wow, no veiled ethnic references today?

    Her stunt double is the mascot for Hello Kitty-land.

    Cow and Boy: “Please tell me my gadonkadonk isn’t this huge!”

    Lio: Does naked wayy better than Dennis.

    #120 True Fable: Brains, braaaaains!

  122. Hank
    June 25th, 2008 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

    RE: 117, Daily Comics Reviewer: Given the scandals over the years at the NY Times, the Washington Post and CBS due to fabricated news, why should the fictional Daily Bugle be any different? Besides, it’s not as if Spidey can hire a lawyer and demand a retraction without revealing his secret I.D.

  123. Anon
    June 25th, 2008 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

    Come on, folks. If you are aware that a word or phrase offends someone else, please just have the courtesy to not use it for the sake of goodwill. This is a wonderful, friendly site so let’s not foster hard feelings or ill will, okay?

    George Carlin is rolling over in his grave.

  124. bats :[
    June 25th, 2008 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

    With the strange juxtaposition of today’s RMMD and MW strips, and the stranger presence of red roses in both, perhaps Max, feeling the need to ingratiate himself to the fairer sex, is going to court that sleek cougar Mary, while Rex is pondering the possibility of cutting that nice-looking young gent out of that gaggle of girls passing by the window.

  125. Bootsy
    June 25th, 2008 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

    Truman, I think it’s time we all viewed some nice lil goats. How about it?

  126. Orange Doorhiinge
    June 25th, 2008 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    MW: See the happy young folk outside her window laughing at Mary’s “romance”.

  127. Pedant Patrol
    June 25th, 2008 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    Soooo . . . you’re saying George Carlin was all about fostering hard feelings and ill will? Man, I need to listen to those albums again. All I recall is his saying that “tits” sounded so friendly.

  128. True Fable
    June 25th, 2008 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

    #125 Bootsy – You mean like this? or these?

    Did you know goats do not have upper teeth? Just lower ones. Now the challenge to you is to tell that to the next person you see and then time how quickly they do a double-take, or if they simply nod and say, “There’s a rubber room waiting just for you at Bellevue.” XD

    Hey, those rooms are very cozy!

  129. Sully
    June 25th, 2008 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

    IS SPIDER-MAN REALLY THE VULTURE?

    I don’t know… does the Vulture sit on his arse all day, nursing the sniffles, watching TV, Googling whatever, while his increasingly manly wife busts her hump to pay the bills? If so, he just might be!

  130. True Fable
    June 25th, 2008 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

    # 127 Pedant Patrol. Awww, you know what I mean. :-)

    I’ve never met a pair of tits that offended me, unless we’re talking Man Faye. And that was just plain odd.

  131. AhClem
    June 25th, 2008 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    Luann – This is a setup for a reverse-Three’s Company story line, in which Brad, Toni and Dirk live in Toni’s tiny little house. Hilarity ensues when Brad tries to sneak into Toni’s bedroom at night, and Dirk beats the snot out of him.

  132. Wolf Shepherd
    June 25th, 2008 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

    B.C. – A stripper joke. Hahaha. (Johnny Hart is spinning in his grave.)

    Quigmans – A chastity belt joke. Hahaha. (I don’t think it is installed properly.)

    W-of-I – An alcoholism joke. No haha here.

    FC – An erectile dysfunction joke.

    GA – Well, knock me over with a feather! I sure didn’t see that coming!

    Curtis – Sharpton & Wright? I don’t think Curtis is doing Obama any favors by putting those two douche bags back in the spotlight.

    JP – Hahaha… GT-like perspective… “I’ll handle Horace”… I bet she will… nudge, nudge, wink, wink. “smacked…nut…” Tough cookie. Daddy like.

    MT – Man, that is one big freakin’ tent!

    MW – Jeff, on behalf of men everywhere… STFU! You are an embarrassment and we just might have to kill you. Actually, I think Mary is getting even more upset with Dr. Jeff (and herself) because he is turning out to be such a whiney, milquetoast wimp.

  133. True Fable
    June 25th, 2008 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

    #132 Wolf Shepherd – Mark Trail buys his tents at the same place he gets his trucks with the big super ginormous cabs.

    Marmadick proportioned cabs.

  134. gh
    June 25th, 2008 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

    #132 Wolf Shepherd –

    MT – Man, that is one big freakin’ tent!

    Actually, that’s the hanger for the giant ubiquiducks when Mark isn’t flying them.

  135. Moss_Moses
    June 25th, 2008 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

    11. Mibbitmaker, I saw your Moss bashing. Next thing you’re going to say people with mossy facial hair are evil.

  136. MWDG-Mary Worth Discussion Group
    June 25th, 2008 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

    Looks like Archie, Veronica and Betty have arrived in Santa Royale!

  137. your father isn't mr. cohen
    June 25th, 2008 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

    Thanks for your support, Mr. Fable!

    In appreciation, here is a present: http://www.oldredbarnco.com/whygoatmilk.html

    I would embed it, but I’m bad at the internet.

    Two questions:

    1. Why aren’t Lio and Rubes in the Chron? Even my local podunk paper carries them, and they usually make me smile.

    2. In today’s Non Sequitur, why is the guy saying “ironically?” I don’t see anything very ironic. Is there something wrong with my brain, or is this comic just dumb today?

  138. gh
    June 25th, 2008 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

    #137 your father isn’t mr. cohen –

    Ironically, I suppose, because if he submits a suggestion that they do away with the suggestion box, it will slow things further since they will have to read it. Or is that paradoxically? Or, this being Non Sequitur, pedantically?

  139. Wolf Shepherd
    June 25th, 2008 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

    I love the Mark Trail dialog.

    Pornstache: “You were right about setting up camp early, Cherry, it’s really coming down!”

    Cherry: “Yes, mountain storms are unpredictable!”

    Pornstache: “And yet you predicted it! Predicting the unpredictable… I am in awe!”

    ——– Meanwhile, in the other half of the tent ——–

    Kelly: “That horse doesn’t seem to like the storm, Moss!”

    Moss: “Yeah, she gets spooked easily!”

    Kelly: “Please don’t use that word! I find it offensive!”

    Moss: “You mean ‘spook’?”

    Kelly: “No, I mean ‘easy’!”

  140. Big Sims
    June 25th, 2008 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

    your father isn’t mr. cohen

    Even though Stan Anonisn’t able to have babies isn’t cool, we support Stan’s Anon’s right to have babies be cool.

    How much more can I mangle Life of Brian?

    Ah crap, it made sense in my head… Please take over for me Mr Fable.

  141. ChristianPinko
    June 25th, 2008 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

    #25 – No, you can’t be both boring and unreliable. Because then you would be Alan.

  142. Nil Zed
    June 25th, 2008 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

    god, I got caught in utube looking at FBOFW themed stuff,

    is this from one of us?? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YyDExZegMdE&feature=related

  143. Bootsy
    June 25th, 2008 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

    Tits! It’s such a friendly word!

    Big Sims! Where ya been? How are the little Sims?

    True Fable, I thought of you the other day while watching Hattari, the Howard Hawkes-directed John Wayne and Red Buttons safari movie, where they have to capture and milk some goats for the baby elephant. The goats are jumping all around because apparently goats and baby elephants don’t get along. (Who knew?) It’s funny as Red Buttons tries to milk a billy goat. No harm was caused to goats in the making of the movie.

  144. PeteMoss
    June 25th, 2008 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

    Whenever Mary Worth thought-bubbles, I imagine that it makes the same sound that Aquaman made in the old Hanna Barbara cartoons whenever he summoned some sea creatures. boop boop boop boOP BOOP BOOP!

  145. your father isn't mr. cohen
    June 25th, 2008 at 5:38 pm [Reply]

    But Big Sims, where is the fetus going to gestate? Is he going to keep it in a box?

    Maybe it’s just symbolic of our struggle against oppression (or reality).

  146. monsieurjohn
    June 25th, 2008 at 5:39 pm [Reply]

    Can someone please explain today’s Garfield to me today? Seriously.

  147. bats :[
    June 25th, 2008 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

    142. Nil Zed: that’s none other than our own lovely (in an ursine way) and talented (in a talented way) Dingo!

  148. gnome de blog
    June 25th, 2008 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

    Tonite on King Features Theatre: “Kelrast’s Curve,” starring Dr. Jeff Cory as Aldo and Mary Worth as The Meddler, with Galactic Emperor Chennux as Ron Schifoso, Elly Patterson as Toby Chinbeard, Abbey “Jugs” Spencer as Karen Moy, and Special Guest Star Johnnie Walker as himself.

  149. spike
    June 25th, 2008 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

    70 unclelumpy: LOL! COTW material indeed.

    72 commodorejohn: Re: FW: Duh, doesn’t Bull have to get all squeamish in front of his li’l girl?

    86 AhClem: BWUH-HA! HA! HA! Maybe you should try putting it on Ebay as well!

    94 cheech wizard: Make that a table for six–the Luann crowd can have breakfast with Mary Worth, Ron and Jeff.

  150. bats :[
    June 25th, 2008 at 6:05 pm [Reply]

    Don’t care who he looks like, Max the Ax annoys da heck out of me. Yeah, I know…two-dimensional character, not real, etc., but he still vexes me. Gah. I’d love to see June give him what for. Or even Rex.
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2610974573/sizes/l/

  151. Poteet
    June 25th, 2008 at 6:08 pm [Reply]

    Luann — I have a feeling that TJ will end up camping in on Toni or Brad’s parents. With any luck, he’ll make some kind of unlikely seared-noodle dish and burn down another building.

  152. Rusty
    June 25th, 2008 at 6:16 pm [Reply]

    146: Garfield has slipped the meatloaf to Oady (sic), who ate it and expressed his displeasure.

  153. Trogdor
    June 25th, 2008 at 6:20 pm [Reply]

    Luann: My first thought was that this was the most emasculating thing that Mrs. DeGroot could possibly say. But then I got to thinking. I have friends whose mom might have said the same thing. The emasculation doesn’t come from her making the comment; it comes from Brad accepting it. If in tomorrow’s comic Brad tells his mom (politely or not) that, thank you very much, he’s going to choose staying with his smoking hot girlfriend over moving back to his mommy and daddy’s house, then he doesn’t come out looking bad. He gets sympathy from Toni and others that he has to deal with a mom who’s stuck back in the 50s. But no one’s going to think worse of him for the Victorian morals his mother professes. Of course, if he accepts his mother’s chastisement and moves back with his parents, then the only reasonable result is for Toni to lose all respect she might ever have had for him (and any desire). Oh, and he should get (and deserve) absolutely merciless ridicule from Luann.

    63: FWIW, I don’t think Brad’s in his mid-20s. He’s probably somewhere between 19 and 21. Luann is 16, and Brad’s not that much older than she is. He graduated HS and didn’t go to college. Instead, he goofed around a bit and ultimately went to firefighter school. My guess is that he’s three or four years older than Luann. Since she’s 16-going-on-17, that puts him at 19-going-on-20 or 20-going-on-21. Yea, he seems older. But that’s because they all age so slowly. I mean, Luann has been sixteen forever.

  154. Baka Gaijin
    June 25th, 2008 at 6:20 pm [Reply]

    Garfield: Damn, how bad is a meatloaf that Garfield, the feline garbage can, won’t eat it. Then the dog, who licks his own butt, won’t eat it. Maybe Mikey’ll eat it, yeah, he eats everything!

  155. commodorejohn
    June 25th, 2008 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

    #149 spike – Indeed. He’s not Les, after all.

  156. Calico
    June 25th, 2008 at 6:33 pm [Reply]

    #142 – Frickin’ hilarious.

    here’s a slightly older FoobParody, but still funny:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qK09OSa4AoU&NR=1

  157. Brick Bradford
    June 25th, 2008 at 6:43 pm [Reply]

    Full frontal (albeit mudcovered) nudity in DtM. Two thoughts:
    1. Mr. Wilson has been “gardening” again.
    2. This is the most menacing thing to happen in this strip in a long time.

  158. Gabacho
    June 25th, 2008 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

    #128 True Fable and the Goats – I never knew about goats not having upper teeth and intend to bring it up at the next social gathering I crash or (less likely) am invited to.

    I do have a goat question. Do goats sometimes bite people? My grandfather was missing a finger and the story he told was that when he was a lad in Ireland, a goat bit off his finger and the doctor was drunk (there’s a shock!) and couldn’t stitch it.

    My sainted grandfather was not the most reliable source of factual information, being fond of the bottle himself, so I am wondering if this story is even possible.

  159. Invisible Me
    June 25th, 2008 at 7:02 pm [Reply]

    Luann Anyone think that Mrs. Degroot would rather have TJ as an in-law than Toni? After all, Toni thinks for herself.

  160. Invisible Me
    June 25th, 2008 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

    #158 – from my remembrances from childhood, not only do goats bite, they can bite hard enough to take off a finger if they hit a joint.

  161. Wolf Shepherd
    June 25th, 2008 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

    #146 monsieurjohn – “Can someone please explain today’s Garfield to me today?”

    Sure, I would be happy to. In panel one Odie is giving Garfield a BJ and Garfield is reciprocating with a reach-around. Thus the long arm depiction. In panel two clueless Jon shows up and asks some irrelevant question about meatloaf, which of course Garfield consumed in less than 3.4 seconds. Garfield gives him the thumbs up, indicating that everything is GREAT! But then in panel three Odie emerges from under the table slobbering cat spunk all over the place. Garfield is taken aback, Jon is suspicious, and we are amused.

  162. kippetje2000
    June 25th, 2008 at 7:19 pm [Reply]

    #160 Dope smoking goats!? Sounds like Zippy the Pinhead to me.

  163. Islamorada Girl
    June 25th, 2008 at 7:35 pm [Reply]

    How about goat smoking dopes?

  164. spike
    June 25th, 2008 at 7:37 pm [Reply]

    155 commodorejohn: I think Les would enjoy being a fly on the wall just to enjoy Bull’s pained expression. Misery does love company.

  165. bats :[
    June 25th, 2008 at 8:03 pm [Reply]

    158. Gabacho: goats, cattle, sheep — the ruminants — as a rule do not have upper “front” teeth (incisors and canines). A calf can still gum you pretty well, given half a chance (“Don’t that calf have a mama?!”).
    They have upper and lower back teeth or “cheek teeth,” however, (the molars), and although it would probably take some effort, with the rather long, narrow snout, you could probably have a finger taken off by an irate ruminant, particularly one that doesn’t appreciate your rummaging around in its mouth.
    I suspect that an adult animals might exert enough pressure against its upper gums with the lower incisors to irreparably crush, if not sever, a finger.

  166. ChattyGenes
    June 25th, 2008 at 8:11 pm [Reply]

    To True Fable:

    I also did not know that goats have no upper teeth. Would you please tell us some more interesting facts about goats?

  167. kippetje2000
    June 25th, 2008 at 8:20 pm [Reply]

    Do you think, that if Tommie wagged that finger in front of Gary (just to prove how reliable he is), Gary might, in stoned-goat confusion, bite it off at the joint? That would be freakin’ hilarious.

  168. kippetje2000
    June 25th, 2008 at 8:32 pm [Reply]

    Uncle Lump! More trivia contests, mule! We ‘mudges like to test our knowledge as well as our snark!

    Mary Worth Jeopardy (I’ll take old biddies for a 1000, Alek)
    Dick Tracy CSI
    Apt. 3G SAT’s (no one get’s above 100)
    Crankshaft Orals (sorry, even makes me flinch to type it.)
    The Lockhorn’s Family Feud

  169. Orange Doorhinge
    June 25th, 2008 at 8:49 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Tommie (to Margo) “Tell it to the finger!”

  170. Jnoble
    June 25th, 2008 at 8:49 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Poor Brad, no matter what he gets cock-blocked.

  171. Talking Squirrel
    June 25th, 2008 at 8:50 pm [Reply]

    “And since when is Mary on the ground floor? For some reason I seem to remember Aldo cornering her in the elevator…? ”

    That elevator goes straight DOWN, not up. It lowers Mary to her secret subterranean lair where she hangs upside down all night dreaming up new ways of butting obnoxiously into others’ business.

    And speaking of butting, that black device she’s brandishing in her hand is the hard drive from Jeff’s computer, the one with the jpegs of Jeff having hot, horny sex with a toothless goat.

  172. AhClem
    June 25th, 2008 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

    #167 kippetje2000 -

    Does that mean that Gary has no upper teeth?

  173. JupiterPluvius
    June 25th, 2008 at 9:10 pm [Reply]

    Actually, it would be AWESOME if the Vulture was really Osama bin Laden!

  174. Jamus The Bartender
    June 25th, 2008 at 9:20 pm [Reply]

    Yesterthread:
    I apologize CHENNUX ( twenty-three, twenty-four…)
    Nice work Spider Brick. I think you got all but two. During our first meeting, the answer I was angling for was “We met, we made sweet love”. Also I hooked up with Ashley, Maureen, Violet
    AND Bridget from My Cage. Damn, what a month that was….
    And Bootsy,.I don’t remember DIck drinking grain alcohol and shoe polish, but I wouldn’t put it past him.

  175. Jamus The Bartender
    June 25th, 2008 at 9:23 pm [Reply]

    Oh, Dick crashed the Tarzana Nights into San Francisco bay, near Alcatraz. He was attempting to “teach San Francisco a lesson in terror”. Later, he made his way to Anchorage for the trial, and visited the Patterson’s on the way.

  176. Harold
    June 25th, 2008 at 9:32 pm [Reply]

    Good thing that wall behind Max Mallory is completely crawling with MRSA, from just above the cheap wallpaper pseudowainscoting with the “Wilson+Nolan 6-25″ poster taped to it. Rex can jam Max’s face into it and shove the roses up his ass…and then leave a note with the name of a good proctologist.

    Is Margo looking a little off-model today? More like Lu Ann with black hair?

  177. True Fable
    June 25th, 2008 at 10:11 pm [Reply]

    My next Lynnie Baby letter will foster good will and sincerest wishes to the North.

    Lynnie Baby,

    Now that you are winding down your allotted time to produce new strips by continuing to vomit out all the old strips best left to dusty shelves everywhere, let me take this time to congratulate you for the inspiration your stone hard butter-tart of a heart has given to the world.

    Oh my dear little snood full of caribou poo, it’s heartening to know that even a big successful bigtime cartoonist like you can still sneer at us little people one nostril at a time and strike us all with a mighty blast of your clean “North Canadian Air”!

    In a marginal way, your continuing attempt to bring truth in advertising – despite the notable amount of FAIL of it all – makes me and my ninja goats sleep better at night, lack of upper incisors on goats notwithstanding.

    Best of luck to you, Lynnie Baby, since I can’t see you giving up your money gig for anything, and fully expect Corbeil to continue to crank out the glurge after September 1, business as usual, rerun idea be damned.

    Truman A. Fable
    Goodwill Ambassador from
    Greater Metropolitan Roopville

  178. Big Sims
    June 25th, 2008 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

    Bootsy!
    Medium Sims, Little Sims and Wee Sims are doing well, thank you very much. Life is beginning to regulate, as much as life can with 3 little boys.
    Where have I been you ask?
    Why, changing diapers!

    PS. I’ll be in NOLA in a few weekends. Fancy getting a cup of coffee and meeting the tots? You still have my e-mail, right?

  179. AhClem
    June 25th, 2008 at 10:30 pm [Reply]

    #177 True Fable,
    I’m going to try and work “snood full of caribou poo” into at least one conversation every day from now on. Thanks for the inspiration!

  180. commodorejohn
    June 25th, 2008 at 10:34 pm [Reply]

    #177 True Fable – I expect that what happens after the End Day (October 1, 1997-er, wait…) will depend on whether Lynn’s comic-voodoo has actually succeeded in manipulating her children into the lives she thinks they should have. If not, I think we can count on watching her break down further and further until the inevitable headline:

    COMIC AUTHOR SNAPS, DOZENS DEAD
    Corbeil, Ontario
    In a development that Corbeil residents consider “not all that surprising,” famed comic author Lynn Johnston, creator of For Better Or For Worse, shot up her studio, killing all staff present, as well as her daughter, whom she stated was her primary target.

    “I had to do it,” she stated. “I was trying to tell her to marry the nice boy I picked out, and she just wouldn’t listen. I couldn’t let her throw her life away doing things she enjoyed.” She also stated her intention to attack her son for similar reasons, but was fortunately apprehended by the Corbeil police before anyone could be hurt.

    Sympathy letters have already begun to pour in to the now heavily understaffed studio. “I couldn’t believe it,” one reader wrote. “It’s like she’s got a camera in my house; I can’t even begin to count the number of times I’ve plotted the death of my children. I hope this doesn’t stop her from writing the strip.”

    Johnston’s ex-husband, Rod, was unavailable for comment.

  181. True Fable
    June 25th, 2008 at 10:36 pm [Reply]

    #137 Your father isn’t mr cohen – GOAT!! Thank you for the goat link! What a wonderful sight!

    #140 Big Sims – “Everyone has the right to say what they think, but if someone insists on being a butthead despite a polite request to act otherwise, then screw ‘em!”
    Like that? :-) I just watched Kenny’s Addicted to Cat Piss episode so I’m tripping right now.

    #179 Ah Clem – Aw, thanks! I’ve been told it’s a real conversation grabber, especially at fancy cocktail parties.

    # 180 commodorejohn – Bwahahaha!

  182. Thursday Next
    June 25th, 2008 at 10:40 pm [Reply]

    PBS-I can’t remember where we got it from, but my family now has a tradition (for want of a better word) of verbally observing, in public, often rather loudly,
    “Bluetooth? Or off his meds?”

  183. Poteet
    June 25th, 2008 at 10:43 pm [Reply]

    # 166 ChattyGenes — I can’t help with goats, but here’s an exciting fact about another ruminant from two threads ago. Please pardon the necropost.

    ***

    I recently learned that there aren’t many pure bison left because most commercial bison herds have some cattle genes in them. I’m still not clear on whether the ranchers got male bison to mate with cows or bulls to mate with female bison. Either way, I think the ranchers should have been struck down by lightning. Eww.

  184. commodorejohn
    June 25th, 2008 at 10:49 pm [Reply]

    #183 Poteet – That’s just abomina-bull!

  185. mordock999
    June 25th, 2008 at 11:12 pm [Reply]

    #151 – Poteet

    No doubt TJ was standing within earshot and heard Toni say she had a spare room.

    So, you are right. If Brad doesn’t move in with Toni then rest assured TJ WILL.

    Your LAST chance to become a man Brad.

    ______________

    DEATH to TJ!

  186. Dingo
    June 25th, 2008 at 11:12 pm [Reply]

    “Aaaaaaaaagh!” he cried with an open triangular-shaped black gaping hole of a mouth like a Lynn Johnston creation. I’m stuck in Cheyenne, Wyoming waiting for my job interview tomorrow morning and missed the FOOBian contest!

    With our dear Mary Worth, I’m liking the new take on the strip. We don’t need Jeff; we just need Mary talking to an answering machine. Sooner or later, the strip will just become Mary talking back to characters in television shows while she eats frosting from the can.

  187. Mr. O'Malley
    June 25th, 2008 at 11:14 pm [Reply]

    183. Poteet. I think that commercially raised cattle are usually artificially inseminated.

    I’m not sure about bison, but I suspect the same.

    There was an attempt to farm crossbreeds a few decades back but they were called beefalo.

    This site has more detail.

  188. Ethan Shuster
    June 25th, 2008 at 11:15 pm [Reply]

    “I’m sorry, Jeff. I never suspected you had a backbone. It’s over.”

    Christ, Mary… So, Jeff gets maybe a little overly jealous and/or upset about you in a newspaper photo that could be interpreted as indicating you’re dating another man, and you don’t think you can EVER forgive him? Wow. Just… wow.

  189. True Fable
    June 25th, 2008 at 11:31 pm [Reply]

    # 187 Mr. O’Malley – ooh beefalo, now there’s some tasty meat right there. I had a friend who raised beefalo, and I scored a half side of beef (guess that would be a quarter beefalo?) and you talk about LEAN and TASTY without any of rankness, oh wow.

    Now Poteet my Queen, I understand your not liking the watering down of pure bison lineage but please understand, eating a beefalo steak was just pure bliss.

    Ted Turner owns beefalo, but I imagine his are mostly bull. :P

  190. LTBF
    June 25th, 2008 at 11:41 pm [Reply]

    Toni and Brad have only had a few real dates, most of them with her cousin tagging along. They had one big kiss and she wants him to move in already?

  191. FOOBed again
    June 25th, 2008 at 11:49 pm [Reply]

    #80 Paul1963: Momma’s name is Sonya?? Wow, I never knew she had a name. Other than Momma, that is.

  192. Jordan
    June 25th, 2008 at 11:49 pm [Reply]

    I remember seeing a TV special about how the Greg Evans, who draws Luann had a baby with his wife when they were both still in college and not married. They couldn’t raise a child at that stage of life, so they gave their son up for adoption, and only recently reunited with him. How did they find him? Turns out he draws just like his dad, and was a fan of the strip from a young age.

    Bearing that in mind, Evans’ protection of his younger characters makes some sort of sense. I’m not saying it’s dramatically the right choice, but I can sure see where he’s coming from.

  193. commodorejohn
    June 26th, 2008 at 12:04 am [Reply]

    #192 Jordan – I don’t think anyone here is particularily peeved at Evans himself so much as the characters. Racy material is hard enough to get printed in the funnies that we openly admire those who can pull it off (Steven Pastis, or Darby Conley with his occasional thinly-veiled risque puns,) so I doubt the author of a very “family” strip like Luann could ever have his characters shacking up. Who knows, maybe painting Mama DeGroot as a cockblocking control freak is his way of taking a jab at his inability to print what he wants – if Bernice is any indicator, he just might be a little edgier than you’d think.

  194. True Fable
    June 26th, 2008 at 12:06 am [Reply]

    # 192 Jordan – I agree, it’s not the right dramatic choice but a lot of family humor cartoonists draw their jokes from life around them so naturally, they’ll base it on their family life. And, they’ll want to protect their young, sure.

    Writers face the same thing in a way. I was once asked who I base my fictional characters on, and I said an emphatic NO ONE. Good Lord, that’s the fastest way to being ostracized by your family as can be, especially if you want to, hello, tell a FICTIONAL story. It’s one thing to say you based a charcter on a singular trait of an uncle for instance, and another to have your aunt kick him out of the house because according to what YOU wrote, he dallied around with half the town. “But it was the Character, honest!!”

    That happened to a friend of mine. Holidays at their house were minefields for years after that. He’s stuck to nonfiction ever since.

  195. LTBF
    June 26th, 2008 at 12:08 am [Reply]

    192-Bernice’s biological brother is based on Mr. and Mrs. Evans’ experience.

    193-What about Liz and Paul shacking up in that “family” strip?

  196. commodorejohn
    June 26th, 2008 at 12:11 am [Reply]

    #195 LBTF – Well, that’s different; remember, all she ever did was ride horse! None of that yucky sex for The Golden Vagina!

  197. LTBF
    June 26th, 2008 at 12:15 am [Reply]

    Actually, I meant to write Eric living with Liz, not Paul.

  198. Nekrotzar
    June 26th, 2008 at 12:20 am [Reply]

    #197 – I heard a rumor that Eric was in fact living with Paul.

  199. Joe Btfsplk
    June 26th, 2008 at 12:20 am [Reply]

    Spider-Man – And, like, I’m just sure that nobody looked up at that helicopter going over, and saw the two of them futzing around up there together, and that the two guys in the helicopter didn’t tell anyone about what happened, or that everyone in the whole world will just forget having seen Spider-Man out and about and doing stuff during all of those years while The Vulture was sitting in prison, and oh dear GOD this strip is so stupid.

    At least everybody knows I’m not really The Vulture. People see us together all the time.

  200. True Fable
    June 26th, 2008 at 12:22 am [Reply]

    FBoFW There is no sight quite as scary as Elly’s face in panel three, when she’s tossing Michael in his room by grabbing his ass and shoving him forward, making him stick out his tongue and nearly biting the damn thing off!

    Holy shit, I’m glad I work at night and won’t have to try to sleep for another 8 hours!

    I need my ninja goats!

  201. True Fable
    June 26th, 2008 at 12:27 am [Reply]

    Cathy (Must Die!) Psst! Yo, Irving! C’mere for a minute, man…!

    Okay, look: You have the tickets. Non-refundable, right? Yeah, bummer. Cathy doesn’t want to go, right? Okay, fine. Sell her ticket to someone and use YOUR ticket to fly to your vacation spot and use the money you got from selling her ticket, to stay the hell gone and Never Ever Return to that alternately spendthrift/pennypinching crazy lady.

    You’re welcome.

  202. Lisa (not the dead one)
    June 26th, 2008 at 12:49 am [Reply]

    Thursday’s Luann: Brad, Brad, Brad. You don’t DESERVE to get laid.

  203. Poteet
    June 26th, 2008 at 1:09 am [Reply]

    # 187 Mr. O’Malley — Thanks, good website. And I’d rather picture artificial insemination than what I was picturing before.

    # 189 Sir Fable MTK — You make a good tasty point. Upon reflection, I don’t mind the existance of beefalo in private herds, as long as the herds on public land are more like bison and less like cattle every year. The Fish and Wildlife Service is working in that direction, using DNA testing and selective breeding. That makes certain bison more able to score than others. “Hey, baby, check me out — no cattle genes here!”

  204. Poteet
    June 26th, 2008 at 1:11 am [Reply]

    # 204 — Existence. Yeesh. My spelling after midnight is (Margo)ing awful.

  205. Mibbitmaker
    June 26th, 2008 at 1:36 am [Reply]

    Re: Luann / Not writing characters based on people you know, lest you offend them…..

    Unless your dirty, rotten husband cheats on your Canadian ass — Then it’s anything goes!

  206. ChattyGenes
    June 26th, 2008 at 1:41 am [Reply]

    #183 Poteet.

    This REALLY would have squicked out Buffy, so I didn’t tell her!

    Thank God Monchan is the only one who is mischievous enough to get online and read CC. She’s more than enough for me to handle.

  207. bats :[
    June 26th, 2008 at 1:43 am [Reply]

    Some Thursday observations:

    JP: holy crap! Either Judge Parker is smoking some of the Dickens’ contraband, or Abbey got to him with her painting gear.

    MT: somehow, I can’t find a whole lot interesting in a horse that’s made nervous by thunder and lightning — I’ve know a number of dogs, cats, and small children who react in a similar manner.
    And Kelly thinks she’s going to cash in on this neurotic behavior? Go for it.

    MW: the horror! on so many levels! in so many panels! that short ensemble! the date with Jay Leno’s chin! Jeff’s whining is sadly outmatched…

    9CL: I know is this is insensitive as all get out, but I’d totally do Mark.

    FOOB: yeah, like not having dinner for one day is going to kill shithead Michael.
    We should’ve been so lucky.

  208. Poteet
    June 26th, 2008 at 1:43 am [Reply]

    6/26 —

    Luann — My prediction was right, alas. Of course in a sane universe, Toni could just say no, but this is Luann.

    FW — I’m childless and don’t know — is it really normal for a parent to try to force a high school student into a summer recreational activity she doesn’t like? I thought the standard advice for parents in that stage was to focus on the important stuff and otherwise let the offspring make their own decisions, being as how they are nearing adulthood.

    MW — In a sleeveless Pepto-pink shorts outfit, Mary dreams of dating a televangelist. My eyeballs are SO seared.

    # 186 Dingo — Good luck with your interview! And it would be chocolate frosting, right? I’d read that.

  209. True Fable
    June 26th, 2008 at 1:44 am [Reply]

    Archie Holy crap, it looks like whoever did today’s rendition was made by a two year old with Colorforms and safety scissors. What’s with the angle Betty’s sitting in? And what’s with Veronica’s hair and misshappen claw hand in panel two? By golly, ya just don’t mess with the Ginger and Mary Ann of the comics pages, ya just don’t.
    Curtis I hope she’s introduced as “one baddddd mama-jama” next time she gives a speech, just to see how many people read Curtis! However, I wonder how to pronounce so many D’s. Shouldn’t it be more like, bAAAAAAd? But hey, I’m not the professional here, am I?
    FC Good Lord, the Keanes have bedrooms the size of airplane hangers.
    FW Oh, way to go, Mom! Go ahead and sign up the kid who obviously is not interested in sports so she can go out and publicly humiliate herself in front of her peers all summer long and risk getting yelled at by them and by her coach and by her dad until she never wants to approach another team sport again. Why don’t you level the playing field and buy her and Bull each a nice set of darts and have them play that at home? Then IF they improve enough to play in front of people, they can go to a nice family bar and grill on Dart Night and have fun. Dammit.
    /rant
    Scenes from Suburban Hell Ditto never was the sharpest knife in the drawer.
    JP Alan Parker, P.I.! All he needs is a moustache and a deep and endearingly crackly voice and the judge is ready for a new career in Hawaii.
    Luann Poteet my queen you were right on the money about the whole setup.

  210. Poteet
    June 26th, 2008 at 1:47 am [Reply]

    # 206 Chatty — Yes, I’m glad Buffy doesn’t know. The bison at the refuge, to the best of my knowledge, make new bison the natural way. And even from a distance, the new bison are cute:-).

  211. monsieurjohn
    June 26th, 2008 at 6:36 am [Reply]

    #161 Wolf Shepherd – Thanks for clearing that up!

  212. gnome de blog
    June 26th, 2008 at 11:33 am [Reply]

    192-194:
    If Brad isn’t going to end up in Toni’s “spare room,” or at least get in a big fight with her about what a wuss he is for letting his mama veto the idea, WHY BRING IT UP??!?

    Brad’s old enough to vote. He’s paying his own bills. Scoring a firefighter job at his age (19 or 20) is pretty impressive – especially for a doofus. Time to cut the apron strings, Greg. Having him quietly accept Mom’s veto is completely inconsistent with the character you’ve developed over the past couple of years.

  213. Steven
    June 26th, 2008 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    Luann- Brad just lost Toni for good.

    He was an adult, emancipated, living on his own. Momie dearest should have kept her trap shut. Now I think she should find a convenient Great Lake (Lake Eirie suggests itself, as she couldn’t make it more polluted ) and jump in it.

    Brad is now going to go gay.

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