The Comics Curmudgeon

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Lonely guys

Luann, 6/28/2008

We readers get to see TJ “Jheri” Rictus lookin’ forlorn every six months or so. It helps us tamp back the rage. But merciful heavens, one panel is not enough. Not nearly enough.

Dick Tracy, 06/28/2008

Dick’s been congratulating his own clever self on his 1337 crimefightin’ skillz for a couple weeks now, only to be undone by the night janitor. Is that why he’s moping in a mere “squad room” today, instead of his jaunty “squad pod”?

9 Chickweed Lane, 6/28/2008

Okay, um, Seth neglected Mark while scolding Edda for breaking up with Amos, so Mark, hurt, hinted darkly at infidelity, creating a rift Janice now tries to exploit. Mark values revenge against Seth, whom he loves, but protects the integrity, which she lacks, of Janice, whom he spurns. These people are unclear on concepts like “love”, “revenge”, and — most of all — “gay.” On the other hand, they have “middle school” nailed.

Apartment 3-G, 6/28/2008

Ah. The perfect trio to discover Alan in narcotic déshabillé back at the gallery — Margo for rage, Jack for muscle, and Gabriella for histrionics. Madre de Dios, we’re in for a good time next week! But first — cake!

Judge Parker, 06/28/2008

The second in our series: Who does Judge Parker think he is — Michael Patterson?

– Uncle Lumpy

This entry was posted on Saturday, June 28, 2008 at 12:07 am and is filed under 9 Chickweed Lane, Apartment 3-G, Dick Tracy, Judge Parker, Luann.

87 responses to “Lonely guys”

True Fable
June 28th, 2008 at 12:16 am [Reply]

Wait – TJ is the guy who leads Brad into all manner of trouble, who remodels other people’s houses without their consent, who runs a scam involving meals for firefighters, whose negligence led to the burning of their investment rental – and this two bonehead STILL want to open up their home to this fuckup?

I officially do not feel sorry a bit for the DeGroots. May Luann get pregnant, their home get sold out from under their noses, and may Brad run away with the cute chick, however unlikely that last part may be.
True Fable
June 28th, 2008 at 12:18 am [Reply]

boy howdy, my grammar and my ability to spell really stinks tonight. I need help!
bats :[
June 28th, 2008 at 12:31 am [Reply]

SHEEP!
ChattyGenes
June 28th, 2008 at 12:32 am [Reply]

#2 True Fable. I did not know that goats did that!
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
June 28th, 2008 at 12:32 am [Reply]

Luann: “Sorry, TJ, but you creep me right the fuck out.”
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
June 28th, 2008 at 12:40 am [Reply]

By the way, if I wasn’t clear, in #5 that was Toni’s line. The DeGroots love TJ. Who knows why.

DeGroots : TJ :: Pattersons : Anthony
True Fable
June 28th, 2008 at 12:43 am [Reply]

Goats will jump on anything that strikes their fancy because they like to climb and get atop things, just like cats like to jump on shelves.

That’s why it surprises me that comics do not take advantage of goat lore. I betcha it’s because they just cannot capture the virtue in those sweet faces!
Alfred E. Neuman
June 28th, 2008 at 12:45 am [Reply]

9CL— Its a good thing that Mark and Janice are unlikely to produce offspring. I’d feel sorry for a kid that would resemble Alley Oop.
Judo Throw Toy
June 28th, 2008 at 12:45 am [Reply]

9CL: When your word balloons take up almost have of the comic strip, you have failed as a cartoonist.
Judo Throw Toy
June 28th, 2008 at 12:46 am [Reply]

OK, I meant “half” and not “have”. It’s after midnight afterall.
Luke
June 28th, 2008 at 12:47 am [Reply]

“Let there be cake.” It seems with this quote Margo is trying to insinuate that she is some blasphemous combination of Marie Antoinette and Lord God Almighty, Creator of Heaven and Earth. Which, really, is exactly the sort of thing Margo would imply about herself.
Ace Diamond
June 28th, 2008 at 12:55 am [Reply]

For his next amazing act, TJ will somehow forget he left a bunch of active grenades next to the furnace in the DeGroot’s house.
dreadedcandiru2
June 28th, 2008 at 12:56 am [Reply]

FBorFW: We got another reminder of why exactly Elly found being a parent so difficult today. Apparently, she always wanted her kids to not behave like children. I n her mind, they should act and think like her.
Windier E. Megatons
June 28th, 2008 at 12:57 am [Reply]

Unfortunately, in Judge Parker’s book, the judge disappears on page 25, and the next 200 pages feature almost totally unrelated characters doing all of the crime-solving. Someone must have told him to write what he knows.
True Fable
June 28th, 2008 at 12:58 am [Reply]

Gotta give the love to Over the Hedge. This is one of the most enjoyable comics out there, and to me it’s right up there with Pearls Before Swine. It’s where Get Fuzzy used to be (before he started dredging up those guest cats like the Cockney Cat and running a gag into the ground, man that just grinds my shorts and not my bees.)

I’ll bet the average conversation does not utilize phrases like that.

Anyway, as I was saying, Over the Hedge is not as lyrical and political as Pogo but it does have much of its whimsy. The expressions of the little faces are terrific. The ONLY THING this strip is missing is a You Know What, but then goats are not woodland creatures so their presence wouldn’t make a lot of sense, unless the characters decide to visit a goat farm.

As it is, the raccoon and the squirrel are funny enough. And just look at the little feller in the upper left hand corner of the first panel. Little things like that just charm the hell out of me, and that is why I am giving props to OTH.

Truman A. Fable
Nature Boy
blurg
June 28th, 2008 at 1:07 am [Reply]

Just think…within two weeks, we’ll see a photo on the left-hand sidebar of a very pregnant woman wearing a bulging joshreads T-shirt and snapping her fingers in that pose above.

I’m not looking forward to it.
Fat Charlie
June 28th, 2008 at 1:18 am [Reply]

A3G–I like that we have to be reassured that conversation has, indeed been flowing at this visibly awful party. The writers care so little they don’t even bother with niceties like “dialogue unrelated to groaningly advancing the already rusty plot wheels.”
mumbles
June 28th, 2008 at 1:21 am [Reply]

JP: Oh man, Uncle Lumpy, you beat me to it! But how cool would it be if Sunday’s strip begins with the ole Judge setting out his new book, “You see, it’s set in the Canadian prairie after the war and involves the coldblood murder of Harvey Rood by his wife, Shelagh Shaugnessy who then ran off with Wilm DeGroot, the village simpleton. I’m think of ‘Groan Season’ as the title.”

Eh, who are we kidding. It’ll be a rip-off of “Barnaby Jones” if we’re lucky, “Matlock” if we’re not.
Poteet
June 28th, 2008 at 1:22 am [Reply]

# 1 Sir Fable MTK — You are correct, sage knight. Indeed, the DeGroots are so very boneheaded that they make Toni look like a genius, which is otherwise hard to do.
Jnoble
June 28th, 2008 at 1:25 am [Reply]

Luann: Seriously, this guy isn’t a friend you can trust. He’s always trying to horn in on his best bud’s wannabe-girlfriend and that’s one of the biggest no-nos in the Guy Code Of Conduct.
BigTed
June 28th, 2008 at 1:26 am [Reply]

I always wondered what T.J.’s mouth would look like without that ever-present grin. And now we know: A tiny, barely visible little line. Neither of which would allow him to eat — no wonder he behaves so strangely.
BigTed
June 28th, 2008 at 1:30 am [Reply]

I’m sure “a crime-fighting judge” is a tremendously exciting concept for a novel. Too bad it’s such a boring one for a comic strip.
Joshua
June 28th, 2008 at 1:31 am [Reply]

Since this particular meme has totally not played itself out yet: The cake is a lie!
True Fable
June 28th, 2008 at 1:41 am [Reply]

Archie So he trips over a branch on the sidewalk, falls on his face, and somehow the BACK of his vest sweater is torn up. That’s a tough sidewalk, man.
FC Picture book readers, beware. Jeffy’s got the inside edge.
FW And why would a man whose job it is to coach kids want to spend his off season coaching them for nothing?
(WTF)GT Guest star Jay Leno!
JP So what is Sam supposed to do about it? I mean besides pretend to read it? Is he supposed to tell his exciting stories about going through Aztec ruins or dealing with a love crazed criminal? Say, here’s an idea! How about a story about a judge who doesn’t do anything but still gets top billing? Yeah!
MT Looks like Kelly learned a thing or two from RMMD’s Heather Avery, and is about to put it to the test.
Marvin Oh geez, here we go. What’s next, is she going to stand in front of a toy tank?
MW Where is this going? Is Mary going to see him sneaking around with someone else? Or in a harmless picture in the newspaper? There’s bound to be an innocent reason why Ron is depicted going down on the mayor in the back corner of a local restaurant!
Phantom Next: Bone Break and Subdural Hematoma!
Tank Heh heh! Funny today, but the artwork is way too busy.
Nekrotzar
June 28th, 2008 at 1:43 am [Reply]

Based on her outfit, I assume that after stopping at the gallery, Margo is off on an African safari to shoot some Wildebeest.
Tom Bombadil
June 28th, 2008 at 1:59 am [Reply]

Sorry Parker, Ruben Bolling already beat you to the idea.

http://dir.salon.com/story/comics/boll/2004/07/01/boll/index.html
Donald The Anarchist
June 28th, 2008 at 2:16 am [Reply]

Luanne Why do I think they’re only taking TJ home so they can get him committed? Oh, wait. Did I type “think?” I meant to type “hope.”

A3G Unfortunately, the discovery of Alan in a junk-filled haze will derail Margo’s plan to give everyone cake with arsenic in it, so she’ll be forced to suffer these fools for months more, all the time gazing sadly at her naked, ringless fingers.

9CL Translation: “I don’t care who I’m mad at. You have a vagina.” “I don’t care that you’re gay. You have a penis.”

JP “OH CRAP! He’s gonna make me read it and it’s a crime to lie to a judge! Maybe I can get Abby to read it for me. And then I’ll give him some BS like “You can certainly tell the author’s been in a courtroom!” That’ll work, I hope!”
Howabominable (aka Lindsey ^_^)
June 28th, 2008 at 2:41 am [Reply]

More wonderfun Coffee Talk posts:

I’m concerned at the name of the daily strip archive,
“Strip Fix”. It’s similar to Doonesbury’s “Daily Dose,” as in, something that must be consumed regularly in order to avoid distressing symptoms, but “Fix” has a whole drug-culture connotation. I work with recovering addicts, and I can tell you that the daily cravings for a “fix,” the compulsion to go back to the addiction, are nothing to laugh about. I am dismayed that such a wholesome family comic strip as yours would choose to promote illegal drugs.

S.C.T, Philadelphia

As hard as it is to defend Lynn nowadays, since when does using the word”fix” promote drugs in any way? It’s just another stupid pun, get over it.

ENOUGH ENOUGH ENOUGH!!!!!!! I agree with Susan from Ottowa. Your old strips are almost guaranteed to give some parents the idea that it’s ok to choke a child, withhold food, or keep them in their room for hours. We have abused children aplenty in our society, STOP MAKING ABUSE LOOK OK. I don’t care if it was not thought of as abuse 25 years ago, it is abuse now. CUT IT OUT. I also don’t care if Elly relents and gives Michael dinner. She still grabbed his collar and lost her cool big time, and confined him excessively. Give us a break please.

Shawn D, Portland OR

Damn, not only is Lynn promoting drugs, but also child abuse!
Cedar
June 28th, 2008 at 3:06 am [Reply]

#2 and #7 I’ve always felt the goat was my spirit animal. Now I know for sure.
Mibbitmaker
June 28th, 2008 at 3:10 am [Reply]

Luann: Okay, he has a twinge of remorse, but he’s still a male Kortney, just less so.

9CL: Sex and revenge — 9CL women in a nutshell.

JP: Well, UL, at least Judge Parker will know what the hell he’s writing about.

FOOB: Gee, Mike ‘n’ Liz haven’t changed at all!

FW: Oh, somebody just smack her in her smug face — preferably Jinx (don’t want to advocate spousal abuse… though, in a way, that’s what Ms. Smugjerk is doing)

GT: Well you better hurry up, Bugs, or Elmer will be swinging the bat in Latin America!
Wait a minute…….
Elmer? …….Bugs??……..Wow, this strip really is Looney Tunes!!

BBailey: Hey! Who’s the general in this family?!

D-M: Hey, dimplechin, look on the bright side: maybe he’ll give Maria the flu.

Cranky: No, Jeff — he’s barfing.

Curtis: That’s what Wikipedia’s for.
Mibbitmaker
June 28th, 2008 at 3:30 am [Reply]

MW: Dr. Jeff, doing a stereotypical Jewish accent: “For him she’s understanding?”

OBH: “…by Michael Patterson.”

Pluggers: That’s not being a plugger — that’s being a character on “My Name is Earl”. The only difference is, MNiE characters are likeable.

6C: Don’t tell that to Paul Mauriat!
Nil Zed
June 28th, 2008 at 3:40 am [Reply]

True
what, mountain goats not good enough for you?
True Fable
June 28th, 2008 at 4:01 am [Reply]

# 32 Nil Zed – You mean these? Aw crap, I was so busily in pursuit of cute goats standing on things that I forgot the foremost example of standing on things!
True Fable
June 28th, 2008 at 4:09 am [Reply]

#31 Mibbitmaker – re:6C – Yes Indeed! One of my favorite instrumentals of all time!

#29 Cedar – Ahhh a fellow goatherd! Come my friend! Come to the Goat Side! :-)
Baka Gaijin
June 28th, 2008 at 4:20 am [Reply]

Beetle Bailey: So Dilbert’s PHB is cross-dressing in his vacation in Camp Swampy.
Mr. O'Malley
June 28th, 2008 at 4:40 am [Reply]

2,4,7. That reminds me of a story.

Here in California, people who raise sheep often keep a llama or two as well. That’s not only because llamas produce nice wool, but because of their size they intimidate coyotes and keep them away from the sheep.

Some people I know had problems with their sheep eating the llama feed, so they put it in a container at llama height.

Sheep are not normally renowned for their intellectual prowess. However, in this case the ram convinced one of the ewes to let him climb up on her back and then he was able to pull down enough llama chow for the both of them.

The people couldn’t figure out why they were going through so much llama chow until one day they happened to catch a glimpse of the operation.

We are not as superior to other animals as we think we are.
Mr. O'Malley
June 28th, 2008 at 5:14 am [Reply]

EC: I thought this was funny. But I may not be a typical comics reader.

The “legs in the air” thing. Who did this? Was it Mutt and Jeff? Anyway, a nice shout-out to classic comics. Did Al Scaduto ever tackle adultery?

This arc reminds me of one of my favorite movies, Le Charme discret de la bourgeoisie (Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie).

It’s about some couples who attempt to dine together. Hilarity ensues. They never manage it, despite numerous courageous attempts.

It won an Oscar. If you haven’t seen it, you should do so. One of the great works of art of our time.
Sheila Sternwell
June 28th, 2008 at 5:28 am [Reply]

#37 Mr. O’Malley – Spoiler alert please! Goodness. That movie is only 36 years old!

I am so glad 9CL finally made it here. It deserves all the snark that can be lobbed at it.
loudlikeamouse
June 28th, 2008 at 7:33 am [Reply]

For years I have wondered who Margot reminds me of. Turns out, it’s Marie Antoinette. Fine, let them all eat cake… I know how this story ends…
K. Ivan Ruppert
June 28th, 2008 at 7:53 am [Reply]

I am still mystified that Brad is turning down the offer to stay with his would-be girlfriend. What is this, the 50s? They’re both ostensibly responsible adults, what in the world makes Ma and Pa deGroot think they have the right to put the kibosh on that. Hell, even including the possible romantic intents, Toni is by, far and away a better roommate for Brad than TJ.

Hell, Marmaduke is a better roommate than TJ!
mordock999
June 28th, 2008 at 8:17 am [Reply]

#1 TrueFable – Luann –

Well, YOU got TJ nailed, not to mention the soft-hearted, SOFT-HEADED saps that ARE the Degroot family.

Thats right Mr. and Mrs. D. Give a thug-wannabe VERY easy access to your VERY impressionable teenage daughter. (How come the “Blue-hair” readers don’t object to this?)

Congrats to the DEGROOTS! America’s CHUMPS
Second year in a row!!!

_________________________

DEATH to TJ!
The Mighty Monarch
June 28th, 2008 at 8:36 am [Reply]

FW: Linda, dear, you seem to have confused “bonding” with “being furious at the same person.” You could’ve just kicked both of them in the shins and gotten the same result.
AeroSquid
June 28th, 2008 at 8:45 am [Reply]

Luann: Toni is such a heartless, stuck up bitch ! Dosn’t she realize that TJ is delusional and confused about his sexuality at the moment ? She could be the one that tips him over into the sexual comfort zone that he has been searching for !
Mike
June 28th, 2008 at 8:58 am [Reply]

Is TJ an orphan or something? Let his parents deal with this imbecile.
Pendragon
June 28th, 2008 at 9:16 am [Reply]

“Get your camera, Roger, we may have a little action.”

This has been another episode of Mark Trail Out of Context Theater™. Thank you.

Also in the news:
S4th: “Teddy” — Faye FTW

37, Mr. O’Malley: You may be referring to the Givney Flip.
Pendragon
June 28th, 2008 at 9:20 am [Reply]

Ok — the Givney Flip link doesn’t seem to work from here, but if I paste it in a browser window, it does. Your mileage may vary.

http://www.lileks.com/comics/jerry/1.html
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
June 28th, 2008 at 9:30 am [Reply]

Time for Musical Comics!

9DQ: I’m not talkin’ ’bout movin’ in
And I don’t wanna change your life
But there’s a warm wind blowin’, the stars are out
And I’d really love to ~~bone~~ see you tonight.

A3G: Queen Margo was a merry old soul
And a merry old soul was she
She called for her cake and she called for her pie
And she called for her cherry jubilee.

(WT)DT: The Reed Bank? Isn’t that where they found baby Moses? Maybe Dick’ll show up and part the robbers with his staff!

EC: Ah, a great old comics tradition. Len and Abby become victims of a Violently Ordinary Rejoinder.

FC: Picture book,
Na, na, na, na na,
Na, na, na, na na,
A-scooby-dooby-doo.
Picture book,
Na, na, na, na na,
Na, na, na, na na,
A-scooby-dooby-doo.
(Sorry, I got nothin’.)

GA: And now, the stupidity begins. Lame-o here will be so disappointed that Chef Meowrice is not real that he’ll turn down the lucrative advertising contract that could have gotten him and his bewhiskered longtime companion out of abject junkdom. And we’ll all laugh, because oh, Rufus, will you ever win?

thorps. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, this plotline is almost over, and I have an audition to be a Dick Tracy villain named ‘Chiaroscuro’.”

JP: “It’s set in a dystopian future! He wears a big helmet with an eagle on it, and rides around on his future-motorcycle shooting bad guys with a huge gun! I’m thinking of calling him… ‘JUDGE FEARR!’ Whaddya think?”
“The title could use some work…”
“Okay, how about ‘JUDGE TREPIDATIONN!’?”
“Keep working…”

MT: I find it hard to believe Cherry came all the way up to the mountains to get film of laden pack horses scurrying away from a mad woman beating a skillet like a gong.

Marvin: Did I call it or did I call it?

MW: Wow. No more close-ups, please. I’m getting a real Joan Crawford vibe from panel 2, and I don’t mean in her early years when she was hot.

PBS: Hey, it’s Mary Worth & Dr. Jeff: The Early Years!

Stripeybutt: NEXT: INTRODUCTIONS!
“Hi! I’m The Phantom. And these are my friends, Fisty and Punchy!”
“My name is Inigo Montoya. You punched my father. Prepare to die!”

One-Eyed Sailor: Um, she’s not exactly captured. In fact, you’re standing in a country she kind of runs. With police and an army and all that. If anyone here’s going to be captured, I’d say it’s you.

6C: Look, it’s quite obvious from the way she’s crossing her arms across her concave chest in panel 3 that she doesn’t have any breasts. Drawing a “?” on her shirt doesn’t fool anyone.

SFx: It’s good to see that TJ from Luann has found gainful employment in panel 2.

S-M: I bet they know now. “Heddo! Id’s your frebly deighborhood Spider-Bab!” I don’t even want to think about what hanging upside-down must do for mucus-filled sinuses. Or about sneezing inside a mask.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
June 28th, 2008 at 9:32 am [Reply]

Dang it, Pendragon @ 45 beat me to the Givney Flip link. Well played, sir.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
June 28th, 2008 at 9:34 am [Reply]

Also, my 6C snark was supposed to include a lowercase omega character, which looks like a curly “w”, not a question mark in quotes. Kind of wrecks the joke. Darn thing worked in preview. It just ain’t my day.
Henning Makholm
June 28th, 2008 at 9:34 am [Reply]

A crime-fighting judge? What a novel and entertaining idea. You might also consider adding a disease-fighting nurse, an illiteracy-fighting middle school teacher and perhaps a fire-fighting fireman, to add to the variety. Throw in a busman who drives buses and you’ll be all set.
anonymous
June 28th, 2008 at 9:52 am [Reply]

#41 – Oh, come on, Luanne may be an idiot, but she’s not an idiot about TJ! She’s known him for years and years (he took her to the prom and they had a perfectly platonic swell time), and if he ever tried to pull anything, she’s perfectly capable of putting him in his place. TJ is all talk and no action, and everyone knows it…. No surprise he’s ended up living with Brad and family, but I still can’t see where this is heading. All I can guess at is TJ will be SO eager to make it up to the DeGroots for burning down the house that he’ll turn into the wonderful son they never had. He’ll cook and clean and help out to such an extent, to such raving thanks from the parents, that Brad, dull overlooked and ignored lump that he is, won’t be able to stand all the attention TJ is getting. He will then be justified to take Toni up on her offer and leave the family home in a huff.

Mutts: Awwww, the Book Club is SO cute, I look forward to it every year. Almost as much as the annual vacation at the seashore. Crabby! !@*X!X! BOXCAR!
anonymous
June 28th, 2008 at 9:53 am [Reply]

#44 TJ’s parents either don’t want him or are in jail or something, he’s better off with Brad’s family.
Sarah
June 28th, 2008 at 9:55 am [Reply]

Rex Morgan: I’m going to go way, way out on a limb here, and predict that the gym mats of doom are actually to be found in creepy-lawyer-with-a-teenage-son’s house!

I’ll bet no-body *else* would have guessed that from today’s strip…
John C Fremont
June 28th, 2008 at 10:13 am [Reply]

# 28 – Howabominable, you’re a lot like Josh. You read the Coffee Talk posts so we don’t have to. Thanks for taking that bullet for us!

JP – From his behavior this week, I’d say that ol’ Judge Parker has done and gone completely insane. No wonder they don’t let him show up very often. They keep him hidden away so we won’t see him doing embarrassing stuff like, well, like this. Oh, Judge, you so cwazy!

SFx – I had found the first five differences before I realized the kid was reading a Zippy comic book. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I appreciate it, Mr. Weber.

A3G – Oh, this is gonna be good! Drama, action, drugs, violence. But first (snap!) let there be cake in order to drag this thing out for weeks and weeks.

MT – Okay, Kelly makes loud noise, horse gets spooked, Cherry almost gets hurt, and then the punching begins. It’s good to know the order of events beforehand. But does this really qualify as action, or hijinx?

Phantom – I hope Cherry Trail is reading this.
Pendragon
June 28th, 2008 at 10:45 am [Reply]

49: In other words: ω
Brick Bradford
June 28th, 2008 at 10:45 am [Reply]

In Re to the last panel of A3G–T-SHIRT! Please!
Calico
June 28th, 2008 at 10:51 am [Reply]

Well, I just had my Strip Fix, and I’m not Jonesing.
And I just fixed myself a cup of coffee.
Good lord-don’t tell people in recovery about the damn FOOBsite then.

And for that matter, this guy should be writing to Shulock and Bolle – all we’ve heard is Alan Haley crack crack crack pipe smoke good dope need money for the last year, it seems.
Calico
June 28th, 2008 at 10:58 am [Reply]

#22 – Crime Fighting Judge – naw, I prefer the story about the crack-smoking, heroin-shooting, philandering, bribe-taking, shoplifting Judge.
It’s called “Smack Season.”

#49 – I would say that looks like Elly’s arse, only it’s too small.
Patrick, Interlibrary Loan Lending Division
June 28th, 2008 at 11:06 am [Reply]

RMMD: What an utterly predictable comeuppance for the dough boy lawyer to have his teenage son get MRSA because he brought home the stupid wrestling mats and Rex has to “save” him. With the usual insipid gratitude from the idiot lawyer. Rex, my hero!

Luann:Let TJ be the substitute kid. Perfect opportunity for Brad to get together with Toni. No one will notice at the DeGroot house.

Funkyshaft: I don’t know why they even bother having two strips. Make room for someone else! As it is, it’s as though LJ and Batiuk had a coffee talk of their own and charted out all the ways they can be as grim and dysfunctional in the most mediocre way possible.

Mary Worth, Hypocrite:I must admit watching the title character turn into the chief villain has been quite unexpectedly entertaining. Dr. Jeff chucking his manhood courtesy of the answering machine however is not. Interesting how her desire to “help” has now turned into hurting and betraying others and I hope she has a huge karmic implosion when it all goes bad and her life is a complete wreck. Now that would be interesting!
alamo
June 28th, 2008 at 11:07 am [Reply]

47 spectacular spidey — kudos to you for marvin. if she starts playing with a dolly lama next i am going to throw up!
odinthor
June 28th, 2008 at 11:18 am [Reply]

MW — If only the mirror in panel two would lead us into a “Mirror mirror on the wall….” sequence!

Luann — “OK, Toni, let’s see… The moral of your story is that it’s humane to open your house to a dude who already has a nearby place to stay and whom you just want to continue teasing sexually until he hardly knows whether he’s coming or going, but it’s not humane to open your house to a guy you know whom an accident has rendered homeless and is kind of pathetic in more ways than one.” “Humane? What does humanity have to do with it???” “Oh, yeah…heh…sorry about that!”

Curtis — Ha ha ha! Curtis is going to grow up to distrust authority because he’ll realize that the driving motivation for his mother getting him to do research is only to cover up her own ignorance, which will ultimately lead him to suspect that her motivation for everything is always self-centered. Comedy gold!

Baldo — But . . . but the splash and blop in the final panel . . . when did . . . was there a passage of time between . . . how did . . . why is . . . ? Ohhhh, never mind. But I’d like it better if the figure with the speech balloon was the one Baldo had airbrushed.

FBoFW — Ha ha ha! Don’t validate your spouse’s feelings of weariness and frustration if you yourself have feelings of weariness and frustration!

JP — As opposed to those novels about crime-abetting judges.

MT — Oh, man—Kelly says to get ready for some action! Lemme put on my “Tonight’s the Night!” glow-in-the-dark boxers!!!

RMMD — Rex, if you’d take a break from the goddam mats and read the comics, you’d realize that Seth is available just a few column inches away. Just a few column inches away, Rex!

Spidey — Spidey took gesticulation lessons from Chiquita Banana.
gleeb
June 28th, 2008 at 11:25 am [Reply]

’shaft: Jeff has found the pictures of his mother he used to keep hidden away.
Wolf Shepherd
June 28th, 2008 at 11:26 am [Reply]

#47 The Spectacular Spider-Brick –

JUDGE ALARMM

JUDGE TERRORR

JUDGE FRIGHTT

or my personal favorite…

JUDGE FOBIAA
Calico
June 28th, 2008 at 11:27 am [Reply]

#59 – Mary Worth, emasculator.

Re: karmic implosion, maybe she will eventually spontaneously combust like the drummers in “Spinal Tap.”
Wolf Shepherd
June 28th, 2008 at 11:30 am [Reply]

#60 Alamo – I’m thinking there’s an Olympics joke coming up.
Uncle Lumpy
June 28th, 2008 at 11:38 am [Reply]

#59 Patrick –

. . . watching the title character turn into the chief villain has been quite unexpectedly entertaining.

I nourish a fantasy that author Karen Moy has been doing exactly this, with infinite patience, for about three years now. Oh, please please please. . . .
Uncle Lumpy
June 28th, 2008 at 11:40 am [Reply]

#63 Wolf S –

JUDGE SHIRTT
Duane Schneider
June 28th, 2008 at 11:40 am [Reply]

Let there be cake, mules.
John C Fremont
June 28th, 2008 at 11:41 am [Reply]

# 47 TSS-B – It’s been a couple of hours now, and I still have that damned England Dan and John Ford Coley song stuck in my head. I just thought you should know what you’ve done.

# 61 – Odinthor, your RMMD comment = COTW!!

On an unrelated note, we just had a major storm blow through yesterday with this awesome, low cloud rolling in at super fast motion, and the only way I’ve been able to think to describe it to people is that it was like that Simpsons episode where Bleeding Gums Murphy died and came back to jam with Lisa. I should get out more.
Calico
June 28th, 2008 at 11:52 am [Reply]

Well, in addition to that England Dan tune, now I’ll be thinking of “Jazzman.”

The latter is not complete treacle, though – nice tune, and I cried a little the first time I saw that jam scene.
cheech wizard
June 28th, 2008 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

A novel about a crime-fighting judge? So we can expect about 700 pages of hearing motions, setting bails, rulings on the admissibility of evidence and other procedural issues until, on page 699, he slaps the perp with a sentence based on established legal guidelines. No wonder he thinks a Sam Driver character will add excitement.
Chelsea
June 28th, 2008 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

I love that Margo says, “Let there be cake,” instead of “Let them ((or us)) eat cake.” It’s as if, instead of altering a famous Marie Antoinette quote about cake, she’s actually comparing herself to God.
Red Greenback
June 28th, 2008 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

JUDGE PARKERR: [lecturing a room full of rookie Judges] The Judge’s standard-issue obnoxious shirt. Yours, when you graduate. The Judge’s standard-issue 7.62 mm gavel: Yours, *if* you graduate. The Judge’s coherent plotline: Yours… if you can ever get it to work.
mojo
June 28th, 2008 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

I like the exterior of the bank in Dick Tracy. Looks like one of them retro-50’s diners. I assume that HUGE sign is neon, and it lights up everything within a half mile radius? And I suppose all the tellers wear poodle skirts, chew gum and call everyone “Hun” as they work. Assuming they even CAN work, what with their weirdly-proportioned arms.

Yep, that’s just where I want to put MY money!
bats :[
June 28th, 2008 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

53. Sarah: well, I *am* hoping that that’s the case. Actually, I’m hoping that Max the ~~Ass~~ Ax realizes that it was on those very mats that he and the missus have been being “naughty” when their kid Dipstick was upstairs playing video games.
ohpleaseohpleaseohplease

59. Patrick, re RMMD: it could only be better if Dr. Andy whacks Max upside the head with the rolled-up subpoena.

69. John C Fremont: I always have to watch that episode.
commodorejohn
June 28th, 2008 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

#46 Pendragon – Hey, another fan of Jerry On The Job! Awesome!

9CL – Okay, how come this attractive and likeable character isn’t the focus of the strip? Is she, in her ability to actually publically display her emotions, not highbrow enough for Brooke? I don’t get it.

A3G – Not only are we in for a week of awesome, we get a little taste today with today’s wonderful panel three. Cake!

AS – WHAT NO CARTOONING DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY STOP IT SCOTT HILBURN YOU SUCK

BB – Wow, that’s significantly less disturbing than what I imagined was going to happen after reading the first panel.

Crankshaft – I think anybody would be smiling in their grave in the Winkerverse, being that they’re no longer having to deal with the unfathomable pain of living. And good God, what the hell happened during his childhood that was apparently so awful that he can’t stand to be reminded that he ever was a kid?

Crock – Um, actually, he doesn’t look the slightest bit like George Clooney.

DTM – Wow. In a better strip, this would actually be kind of poignant.

FC – Ha ha! Jeffy is illiterate!

FOOB – Oh, pity the poor hausfrau, having to deal with two children playing happily together. Elly, you stupid whiny bitch.

FW – Yes, they’re bonding over their mutual disgust with you and your pushy, presumptuous ways. You are a genius. I bet you’ll be patting yourself on the back when Bull divorces you and Jinx won’t speak to you. Bitch.

GA – Oh yay, it looks like we might get that murder-suicide after all!

GT – Come in here, dear boy, have a cigar, you’re gonna go far/
You’re gonna fly high, you’re never gonna die/
You’re gonna make it if you try, they’re gonna love you…

JP – Wow, a story about a crime-fighting judge? That sounds very interesting! I almost think that should be made into a comic, don’t you?

Luann – GOD DAMN IT LUANN THIS SCENARIO HAD SO MUCH POTENTIAL AND YOU WASTED IT FOR SOMETHING BORING I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU

MT – You know, here I was, thinking the whole “porn shoot” thing was just a CC in-joke. But no, it’s really kind of looking like we were right.

MC – *chuckles*

Pluggers – STOP PLACING ME IN THE SET OF PLUGGERS DAMN IT I DO NOT WISH TO BE COUNTED AMONG THEIR NUMBER

Popeye – Okay, the notion of an “occult museum and zoological garden” is easily the best thing to come out of this story arc. I would totally patronize the hell out of such a place.

RMMD – Wow, Spider-Man would be jealous of how quickly and boringly that conflict was resolved.

SF – “Teddy?” Man, Faye, you keep putting yourself further up on my “favorite comic characters” list.
cheech wizard
June 28th, 2008 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

commodore john – Wow, a story about a crime-fighting judge? That sounds very interesting! I almost think that should be made into a comic, don’t you?

And after about 50 pages, the author realizes the judge is mind-numbingly boring, so he changes the focus to a secondary character who’s a young attorney and you almost never see the judge again.
Batman Beatles
June 28th, 2008 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

Foob: Look Elly, at least the kids aren’t fighting. What more do you want?
Calico
June 28th, 2008 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

#72 – Haha, the miracle of the Cake and the Fishes.

I have butterflies in my gut Re: when Margo (hopefully) walks in on Alan and Haley smoking (or maybe doing other things at the gallery too; who knows?), and she finds the petty cash gone. Oh Man. Seared flesh and bleached bones will be a-plenty.
fuzzmaster
June 29th, 2008 at 1:03 am [Reply]

Well, if we’re talking T-shirts, how’s this for a ‘Let there be cake’ offering?
Charles
June 29th, 2008 at 1:05 am [Reply]

Finally! The site is back up! :D
Uncle Lumpy
June 29th, 2008 at 1:08 am [Reply]

#81 Charles –

Sorry — Josh’s server ran low on coal while I was oiling it. Full head of steam now — please resume!
Uncle Lumpy
June 29th, 2008 at 1:09 am [Reply]

Psst — refresh at 1:13 and post first!
Tom Bombadil
June 29th, 2008 at 2:04 am [Reply]

#74 mojo: Why would the tellers call everyone “Hun”? Is the bank in Germany?
Chip
June 29th, 2008 at 6:58 am [Reply]

9CL – WHAT exactly is she “kissing” in panel one!?!!?
mojo
June 29th, 2008 at 7:30 am [Reply]

#84: Uh, yeah, that’s the ticket. In Germany. Yeah. It’s a German bank.

Or, as the keen up-to-date hep cats in charge of Dick Tracy call it, an Alsatian Bank.
Evan
June 30th, 2008 at 10:35 am [Reply]

A crime fighting judge? Isn’t that what judges do? I mean, not the most glamourous aspects of crime-fighting, but still. It’s like writing a book about a janitor who cleans.

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