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Panel-play panoply

Pluggers, 2/19/13

Flea track and field.

Better Half, 2/19/13

Hey, Stanley — send that app on over to the folks at 9 Chickweed Lane, wouldya? Save ‘em some typing.

9 Chickweed Lane, 2/19/13

Thanks, Stan. I’m sure they appreciate it — just look at those big smiles!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/19/13

Oh, poo. Looks like Our Honey isn’t challenging any normative gender constructs after all; she’s once, twice, three times a — well, I guess lady isn’t quite right either. Anyway, she made quite an impression on Rex there: look at him covering the smoking socket of the eye that was exposed to her naked ladyparts, or maybe he’s trying to pluck it out per Matthew 18:9? Either way, if that image could be pasted over the first panel of every comic ever, this blog wouldn’t need to do much else:

Funky Winkerbean, Mary Worth, Judge Parker, Crankshaft, 2/19/13 (panels, modified)

UPDATE — Hey, check out Faithful Reader Druj Nasu’s Automatic Rexifier, which Rexifies many, many more strips, and Faithful Reader Nehemiah Scudder’s Rex Agony Blank, which lets you play along at home. Thank you, Faithful Readers!

– Uncle Lumpy

299 responses to “Panel-play panoply”

  1. Droopy Says
    February 19th, 2013 at 1:57 am [Reply]

    Spiderdick: I wonder if that Acme Homing Zeppelin has enough thrust and lift to drag Spiderdick behind it.

    Funky Winkermeanie: Ooh, Dingaling, what a nasty dig at the One-Armed Blandit!

    Family Circus: In previous iterations Dolly referred to “#” as “pound sign,” “number sign” and “Archie hair.” FC may have used this one before but those parchments were burned in the sack of Rome.

    Mock Travail: If this is how Rod Bassy greets his old friends, what does he do with new enemies?

    Pluggers: Yoga? No, fleas.

    Juggs Parker: Don’t you love the way he smiles as he asks “What’s he dying from?”

    Phantoms: If the Dippy Duo had any brains, they know cats are finicky eaters.

    Shoe: Brookins, you could at least give us something that resembles a joke!

  2. seismic-2
    February 19th, 2013 at 2:11 am [Reply]

    …and that third panel from “Crankshaft” needs to be the third panel from every “Crankshaft”. Actually, it should always replace the first two panels, too.

    RMMD: Well, we all knew that sooner or later one of the women in this strip would put an eye out with one of those things.

    FW: In the first panel, we see that Carl Reiner and Mel Brooks have sunk to a new low in venues for their stage act. In the third panel Becky gives the obligatory polite smirk to Harry’s comment that “what we’ve got is still all there,” but it hurts. It hurts.

    MW: If you think this is bittersweet, you should taste that horrible pink cake that won the $10K.

    MT: “Are you accusing me of cheating?” “No, honest, weren’t you paying attention in the first panel? It was the guy hiding behind the curtains!”

  3. Gold-Digging Nanny
    February 19th, 2013 at 2:11 am [Reply]

    RMMD: I can’t decide if that panel of Rex is equal parts baby robin waiting for a worm and poorly executed facepalm, or slack-jawed yokel and Oedipus right after he got the bad news.

  4. yaoi huntress earth
    February 19th, 2013 at 2:28 am [Reply]

    9CWL: Does anyone else feel like this arc is going to be a big middle finger to the working lower class about how vulgar, non-artistic and stupid they are that they can’t even do their own jobs right?

  5. MySpoonIsTooBig
    February 19th, 2013 at 2:34 am [Reply]

    @Ukulele Ike (#y286): Aw, but I did reply to that post about Laura Nyro! I feel ya though, it’s almost criminal how little she’s recognized now. But listening to that album did put me in a good mood to get me through work today:)

    9CL: I feel like “She’s on an adjective spree” is like a sentence from Bloom County that somehow got lost and wandered into the bad part of town that is 9CL.

    Luann: How would one go about inserting links? Because today’s strip is really putting me in mind of that Tropes article Rooting For The Empire…

  6. Dale
    February 19th, 2013 at 2:36 am [Reply]

    MARK TRAIL

    Was it Bluegill or Bill Ellis who suggested that Brassy cheats?
    “Some people say ……”. Given that solid evidence, Mark knows he must find Brassy guilty of something.
    Without that lead, would Mark be asking any contestants if he could look inside their vehicles? He should have just to hide his intentions. Now he’ll have to convict based on only one data point.

  7. Ratiocinator
    February 19th, 2013 at 2:41 am [Reply]

    9CL: She’s ranting angrily so, naturally, the best thing to do is to give her caffeine.

    Now, lest Brooke lurks here and concludes I am a beefwit because I misinterpreted his joke: No Brooke, I think I got it just fine. The joke seems to be “She’ll be going on like this for hours, and we’re going to need coffee in order to keep from nodding off before she’s finished.”

    It’s not a very good joke, because no real person would listen to a rant for that long without saying “Okay, I get it, and I agree that they’re assholes. Now let’s figure out what we’re gonna do with this cow.”

    Feel free to use the preceding paragraph to educate yourself on how people in the real world talk. You know, when Kurt Vonnegut was criticized for putting expletives in his novels, he defended his decision by pointing out that people used expletives in real life. He was trying to make his characters sound like real people. Wouldn’t kill you to try to do the same.

    ASM: Holy shit! Not only is it a missile, but it’s one of those fancy missiles that EXPLODES! I would have never guessed that if you hadn’t told us, Daredevil!

    Garfield: There’s actually something sort of admirable about the way Garfield just lies there and does nothing. It’s like, here he is surrounded by insanity and insane people, and instead of reacting to it, instead of being freaked out, he’s all Zen about it. “The happy monkey dance cannot disturb my serene state of being. It, like all things, shall pass. I remain prostrate on the floor. Soon I shall enter a peaceful slumber, and later I shall awaken. Perhaps when I regain consciousness, I will see Odie drooling on the floor. Perhaps I will see Jon having another manic episode. Perhaps Liz will be here, tolerating his insanity for reasons I cannot fathom and will not expend effort trying to. The only true constants are eating and sleeping, and merely these two things are all that I require to be content.”

    RMMD: The left eye has seen a naked female, and is desperately trying to escape Rex’s head and roll away so it will never be subjected to such trauma again. His right eye is willing to stick with him, but he’s on thin ice with it.

  8. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 19th, 2013 at 3:10 am [Reply]

    Pluggers — “Hey, look, Doc Morgan is doin’ one of those lazy eye test things!” *

    9 Chickweed Lane — “Lazy eye is a condition, where in most cases one eye does not see with the same visual acuity as the other eye, and poorly transmits visual information to the brain. If you cover the healthy eye, people with lazy eye or amblyopia will have a difficult time making out things, or may see very little at all.” **

    *Courtesy of William Bendix **Courtesy of Tricia Ellis-Christensen

  9. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 19th, 2013 at 3:33 am [Reply]

    Opal Pickles has found a sure-fire cure for her husband’s incipient insomnia: today’s installment of 9 Chickweed Lane.

    http://www.gocomics.com/pickles/2013/02/19

  10. seismic-2
    February 19th, 2013 at 4:00 am [Reply]

    @Gold-Digging Nanny (#3): My initial reaction was that the first panel of RMMD was a salute to this detail from the “The Damned” section of the Sistine Chapel but with a little bit of Laocoön and His Sons (also in the Vatican) thrown in, but then I decided that it was a new artistic masterpiece that stands completely on its own and that needs no reference to any other work of art, unless it’s used in the manner that Uncle Lumpy did, as it most certainly should be.

  11. Alfred E. Neuman
    February 19th, 2013 at 4:43 am [Reply]

    @Gold-Digging Nanny (#3) said: “RMMD: I can’t decide if that panel of Rex is equal parts baby robin waiting for a worm and poorly executed facepalm, or slack-jawed yokel and Oedipus right after he got the bad news.”

    I think it’s the latter. His name, after all, is Rex. Honey probably looks like his mother, and he’s never responded well to June’s needling.

  12. TJ
    February 19th, 2013 at 5:22 am [Reply]

    I’ve gotta say fake Rex’s reaction in the Crankshaft comic looks pretty appropriate.

  13. Liam
    February 19th, 2013 at 5:25 am [Reply]

    Crankshaft-The kids already recognize that you aren’t funny.

    Dick Tracy-”What’s this that I’ve got in my pocket?”

    FC-”Dolly, have you been hanging out with those hippies again.”

    FW-I’m sorry but you never had it in the first place.

    JP-”How dare that April has secrets. She needs to be open like the rest of us.”

    MT-I’m impressed. Rod asks Bluegill a question and even answers it for him.

    MW-”Because of instead of going to New York with you I shall continue my life of meddling in people’s business, make solid lumps of color that passes as food, keep eating at the Bum Boat, and continue to duck Dr. Jeff’s repeated requests to put the twin beds together.”

    RMMD-Rex, stop getting so worked up. It was an attractive naked woman.

  14. Liam
    February 19th, 2013 at 5:26 am [Reply]

    9CL-Looks like someone got their hands on a thesaurus.

  15. Liam
    February 19th, 2013 at 5:33 am [Reply]

    A3G-”It was nice of the hospital to find you an outfit similar to the smoky and soot covered one you came in with. Don’t tell me that is the same outfit you came in with.”

  16. Vanya
    February 19th, 2013 at 6:28 am [Reply]

    I’m still trying to figure out the whole Yankee fan nonsense in yesterday’s Chickweed. This is supposed to be New Hampshire, of course the farmers aren’t Yankee fans. And, as a native Granite Stater, I would like to rant about how annoying I find the idea that this strip is somehow set in my fair state.

    Furthermore, Brooke knows nothing about cattle. To quote Jack Albright, from Hoard’s Dairyman Magazine:

    “To move cattle or to appear larger and to protect oneself, carry a cane, stick, handle, plastic pole with flap, or a baseball bat.”

    Cows are large potentially dangerous animals. We have only the vet’s word that the Smuckling brothers were “whaling” on the cow, they may have just been giving taps to encourage the cow forward. A cow’s backside can take a slightly stronger blow from a bat than a human backside. Brooke should stick to music and cats.

  17. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    February 19th, 2013 at 6:35 am [Reply]

    9CL: People before Noah used to beat cows with baseball bats. Thanks, Brooke.

    Cranky: If I were Rex…or anyone in the universe for that matter…that would be my reaction too.

    Talking of which, how did Rex get his M.D. without seeing plenty of female nudity, at least in general anatomy class, to say nothing of obstetrics? Fake Degree Alert!

  18. NonnyMus
    February 19th, 2013 at 6:35 am [Reply]

    Thanks, Lumpy! I needed the laughs this morning!

  19. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    February 19th, 2013 at 6:39 am [Reply]

    MySpoonIsTooBig, do you mean this trope?

  20. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    February 19th, 2013 at 6:42 am [Reply]

    Well, that didn’t work.

    Here we go again:

    http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RootingForTheEmpire

  21. Pozzo
    February 19th, 2013 at 6:50 am [Reply]

    I propose a gesture-off between eye-coverin’ Rex and finger-quotin’ Margo. Loser gets Tommie.

  22. gleeb
    February 19th, 2013 at 6:55 am [Reply]

    ‘shaft: If you have to tell people it’s a joke, it may not be a joke.

    ‘bean: “All still there”.Right next to the one-armed woman he says this. Christ, what an asshole.

    Dick: After witnessing her assault Sweatstain with a softball, Tracy will have no choice but to shoot her dead.

    Thorp: What? The peacock isn’t magical, but just some livestock kept by a guy called Buddy? What a shocking twist!

  23. CanuckDownSouth
    February 19th, 2013 at 7:02 am [Reply]

    @yaoi huntress earth (#4): arc? Isn’t that the raison d’etre of the whole strip??

  24. seismic-2
    February 19th, 2013 at 7:08 am [Reply]

    GT: Buddy needs to do a better job of controlling his poultry. He should whack them with a baseball bat.

  25. Little Guy
    February 19th, 2013 at 7:27 am [Reply]

    9CL: I get it. I watched “Temple Gradin”, too.

    JP: Cancer, cancer, cancer… what is this, Funky Winkerbean?

  26. Chuck Henebry
    February 19th, 2013 at 7:38 am [Reply]

    The folks down on Chickweed Lane sure are stoic in the face of the five-alarm fire that’s consuming their home.

  27. Cloudbuster
    February 19th, 2013 at 7:40 am [Reply]

    JP: April is way cooler and more interesting than the rest of the JP cast. Can we have a spin-off where April joins up with Peaches and the Judge’s sexy publicist and they become a trio of international crime-fighters?

  28. Cloudbuster
    February 19th, 2013 at 7:45 am [Reply]

    MT: This is how many of my totally non-suspicious casual conversations go.

    Yesterday, at the grocery checkout:
    “Your total comes to $48.37″
    “ARE YOU ACCUSING ME OF SMUGGLING POTATOES IN MY PANTS?”

    And at the office:
    “Let me know when you’re ready to have me read over your report.”
    “ARE YOU ACCUSING ME OF COMPLETELY FABRICATING THE NUMBERS?”

    With the wife:
    “So, how was your day?”
    “ARE YOU ACCUSING ME OF SLEEPING WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND?”

  29. Cloudbuster
    February 19th, 2013 at 7:48 am [Reply]

    MW: Bittersweet? Only in the sense that vomit is bittersweet.

  30. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 19th, 2013 at 7:50 am [Reply]

    Jump Start — Rob shows a couple of elephants drinking their own poo.

    [SOUND OF RETCHING IN BACKGROUND]

  31. Hogenmogen
    February 19th, 2013 at 7:53 am [Reply]

    MT: Doc/Pop/Catfish hasn’t changed his shirt from yesterday.

    That’s the only observation that I can make, since the rest of the strip is flawless. The only thing that could make it better is if Elrod pasted a picture of Rex Morgan covering his eye in the first panel.

  32. Cloudbuster
    February 19th, 2013 at 7:53 am [Reply]

    Ctrl+Alt+Del: Any Ctrl+Alt+Del fans here? Anyone else missing Ethan and Co. as much as I am? It’s kinda like when Berke Breathed ended Bloom County and later tried to bring back the Outland and Opus Sunday strips. The magic was gone.

  33. Hogenmogen
    February 19th, 2013 at 7:55 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#30): What is that “black ivory” stuff? There are less expensive brands shat out from lemurs or something like that. Why does elephant dung have more market value than cat crap?

  34. Hogenmogen
    February 19th, 2013 at 7:58 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#32): Sorry, I don’t follow C+A+D. But a word of warning: If the main character is supposed to be a computer geek but is reading from a paper book, there is something wrong with that picture.

  35. Old Folkie
    February 19th, 2013 at 7:59 am [Reply]

    MT: “Hi, Rob.” – “Are you accusing me of cheating?!?”

    9CL: Brooke was emotionally scarred as a small child watching Martha Raye movies.

  36. lorne
    February 19th, 2013 at 8:03 am [Reply]

    Can we superimpose Rex Morgan’s anguish face into the last 5 minutes of Downton Abbey?

  37. Little Guy
    February 19th, 2013 at 8:04 am [Reply]

    RMMD: A SECOND TOWEL HAS HIT THE LIVING ROOM FLOOR!

  38. Crankshafts funky smelling corpse
    February 19th, 2013 at 8:07 am [Reply]

    RMMD: Rex wandering around still with vapors while June has a tete a tete with the blonde bimbo is priceless. I’m still laughing. Uncle Lumpy isn’t helping by pasting it everywhere.

    9CL: I didn’t this could get any beefwittyer, but I was wrong.

    Bigporn: Is very porny today, what with the silhoutte of the sultan in mid thrust, and voyeurism galore. All it needs is the bow-chicka-wow-wow sound track.

  39. Hogenmogen
    February 19th, 2013 at 8:07 am [Reply]

    Daredevil: When it homes in on me, it’ll explode!

    Spidey: Yeah, like it’s all about YOU now, is it?

  40. Cloudbuster
    February 19th, 2013 at 8:09 am [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#34): OK, I have barely touched a paper book since I discovered my Kindle, but I’m sure there are some computer geeks out there who read paper books. Somewhere? Right? Probably here on CC. Cue response rhapsodizing about the feel and smell of old paper….

  41. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 19th, 2013 at 8:10 am [Reply]

    Nancy — Shouldn’t that be the NANdrews Sisters, Fritzi? (Auntie dear, you need to cut out the Welsh rarebit just before bedtime!)

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#30): It’s “Robb.” And anyone who pays fifty bucks for a cup of coffee has been robbed.

  42. Hogenmogen
    February 19th, 2013 at 8:10 am [Reply]

    Daredevil: I knew that missile would be coming right to this building! That’s why I came here! So I could die along with this building! I only wished it had happened before you showed up! So I didn’t have to appear side by side in your lame-ass strip! Now it all SUCKS! You ruined everything!

  43. Hogenmogen
    February 19th, 2013 at 8:11 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#40): I decided that anyone who responded to one of my posts would be countered with “ARE YOU ACCUSING ME OF CHEATING??”

  44. Hogenmogen
    February 19th, 2013 at 8:17 am [Reply]

    9CL: Of course they’re fetid and stinky. They work with cows, you stupid, idiotic, brainless, deficient, thick, trivial, unintelligent, imbecilic, slow, sluggish, half-witted….

    … when the hell is anyone going to get me coffee, dammit?

  45. Hogenmogen
    February 19th, 2013 at 8:20 am [Reply]

    June Morgan: Rex fixed your shower, Honey, remember?

    Honey: Oh, yeah. It was ten weeks ago, how am I supposed to remember that? I don’t even remember to bring my clothes with me, most times. You’re the first couple that ever said anything about it. *sniff* I think I’ll leave now… *sob*

  46. Lurker Bob
    February 19th, 2013 at 8:24 am [Reply]

    GA: Is Joel really trying to talk Rufus into giving him his “load”??!?!? First, he talks him into marrying a Donkey, now he wants his load. Most frightening, it seems that he wants the “load” for himself. I never though that I would say this, but Gasoline Alley is slowly crossing the line into some of the most disgusting things that the internet has to offer.

  47. KreatureFeatures
    February 19th, 2013 at 8:25 am [Reply]

    MT: Nothing breaks up a fight like a sudden appearance by Benjamin Button.

  48. Doctor Handsome
    February 19th, 2013 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    Once again, Stanley gratuitously adds extra redundant unnecessary synonyms that mean the same thing and aren’t needed.

  49. The Divine O’F
    February 19th, 2013 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    CREDIT WHERE CREDIT IS DUE©: Bravo, Uncle Lumpy! I believe I will imagine that image of Rex at the beginning of every comic panel I read from now on.

  50. Jonathan
    February 19th, 2013 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    I will be laughing all day at that image of Rex Morgan. It looks like he just realized he could have had a V8. Shouldn’t a Doctor be used to seeing people undressed?

  51. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 19th, 2013 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    @KreatureFeatures (#47): That’s actually his lookalike cousin, Zebulon Zipper. And the poor man appears to have tire tread marks across his chest.

  52. bbofun
    February 19th, 2013 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    FW- In the unseen fourth panel, Becky starts whaling on Harry with a baseball bat, screaming “Was that a crack about my missing arm?”

    GT-”Today I learned there is no God!”

  53. John B
    February 19th, 2013 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    OMG, if you scroll down below the modified panels to yesterday, Margo is doing it, too!!

  54. pugfuggly
    February 19th, 2013 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    ASM
    I see that missile comin’,
    it’s comin’ round the bend.
    if Spidey’s here to ‘help’ me
    then this is probably the end….

    A3G So, did I miss the part where she confirmed that the professor was ok, or sis she just forget about him again…?

    B 1/2 “Unfortunately, I only ever talk to you and we’ve basically run out of things to say…..”

    FW “…and make sure what we’ve got is still her-AAAA WHERE’S YOUR ARM?!”

    MT “AAAaaaAAAAaaaaAAARGH! ROD SMASH! ROD SMASH!”

  55. Charterstoned
    February 19th, 2013 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    RMMD – Maybe this has nothing to do with naked female body parts. It looks to me as if Rex might have been injured by debris caused by a meteorite exploding overhead.

  56. Druj Nasu
    February 19th, 2013 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    Man, Uncle Lumpy was totally right. Rex improves everything. As proof, I present The Automatic Rexifier.

    But if they’d like to keep updating anyway, I can get behind that.

  57. Mibbitmaker
    February 19th, 2013 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: It’s come to this: Pluggers….. scratch all the time. This panel is self-snarking now.

    BH: “And there’s a special feature that can also make me sound like William F. Buckley when I do it!”

    9CL: I agree the batting the cows thing is [insert bad word here], but when faced with it, Brooke just cannot avoid the endless thesaurus-spouting. “You… you mean Juliet, don’t you, beefwit? SHE… she just cannot avoid spouting…. you know……”

    RMMD: Such a drama queen! …. No, not Honey…. Rex!

    Crankshaft panel: “What, is Lyndsay Lohan too busy? Oh, look, you’ve upset Rex Morgan, old man! I hope you’re happy!”

  58. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    February 19th, 2013 at 8:51 am [Reply]

    9CL – Well, it wouldn’t be a 9CL story line without the opportunity for the female characters to over-dramatically declare their superiority over all other forms of life. And Edda isn’t even here yet!

    Wait until Edda arrives, and the three of them get to spend a month in high dudgeon ranting about the inferiority and perfidity of the Smuckler Brothers. Ideally, it will end with them discovering that it wasn’t their cow they stole, or even a cow at all, just a road sign off of I-95. They will ‘sheepishly’ head to the barn to retrieve the sign, only to discover that it has already been stolen again. Then, they belatedly shut the barn door and head back to the house for more overwrought posturing.

  59. tb4000
    February 19th, 2013 at 8:53 am [Reply]

    RMMD: “A can of beer exploded on me.”
    “Oh, is THAT what the filthy ex-hookers are calling it nowadays? Rex, an explanation!”

  60. S. Stout
    February 19th, 2013 at 8:53 am [Reply]

    Luann: To be fair, if you’re a girl at Pitts, your list of boys to choose from is Gunther, Knute, Ox, Leslie. I’m pretty sure Bernice and Delta became lovers just because it was the best option available.

  61. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    February 19th, 2013 at 8:58 am [Reply]

    @Crankshafts funky smelling corpse (#38): Re: Pib

    And, this is all still deep background on two ancillary characters who are already removed from the original plot arc – remember the genies and the troll and the wishes?

    If this was one of the cut-away gags from Family Guy, Peter and the giant chicken would have finished their fight, made up, fought again, been arrested, fought in jail, teamed up to fight crime, and somehow made it back to the kitchen again long before McE remembers what the plot was or where he left it.

  62. Doctor Handsome
    February 19th, 2013 at 9:03 am [Reply]

    That’s damn naturalistic dialogue there, Brooke. Certain beefwits might find it wack, asinine, farkakte, unrelated-to-how-any-humans-talk, jackoffish, tardiculous, and gormless, but in my book you’re OK.

  63. AhClem
    February 19th, 2013 at 9:05 am [Reply]

    RMMD – Rex is clawing his eyes out while shouting, “Whore of Babylon! Impudent Strumpet! Icky lady parts!”

  64. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 19th, 2013 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    Fred Basset — “Keep schtum!”

    This one puzzled me until I looked it up. “Schtum” (pronounced stumm) means “dumb” in German. So keep schtum basically means to “play dumb” or “keep quiet.”

    Just a thought, but wouldn’t it have made more sense to have replaced “Keep schtum!” with “Keep mum!” for readers who DON’T live in the UK?

  65. bfwebster
    February 19th, 2013 at 9:13 am [Reply]

    OK, I almost inhaled a mouthful of scrambled eggs (with mushrooms and green onions!) when I scrolled down and saw the modified panel montage. Somehow, I managed to neither choke nor spew, thus avoiding either an embarrassing death or having to hose down my laptop.

    Give us some warning, would you? ..bruce..

  66. Écureuil Écumant
    February 19th, 2013 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#10): “@Gold-Digging Nanny (#3): My initial reaction was that the first panel of RMMD was a salute to this detail from the “The Damned” section of the Sistine Chapel”

    If I were the one getting rimmed by a demon, frankly, I probably wouldn’t be quite so blase about it.

  67. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 19th, 2013 at 9:18 am [Reply]

  68. Illustrator Steve
    February 19th, 2013 at 9:19 am [Reply]

    MT -”Hi, Rod, I’d just like to kno…”
    “LISTEN, YOU LITTLE SQUIRT, ARE YOU ACCUSING ME OF CHEATING?”
    “Mark! Help me out here, willya?”
    “Sure, Bluegill, anything for an old friend…*ahem*…Hey, Scoutmaster Bassy, LET ME SCREW THEE UP A PEG!”

  69. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 19th, 2013 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    Andy Capp: Fact checker rates this…true! @WorldofAndyCapp is indeed a thing, even if useless. Also, I have more followers, so neeners.

  70. Sequitur
    February 19th, 2013 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    Crankshaft: On the plus side, that’s the best joke they’ve had in quite a while.

    On the minus side, that’s the best joke they’ve had in quite a while.

  71. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 19th, 2013 at 9:31 am [Reply]

    Dick Tracy: Is that a 16″ Chicago-style softball I see in Toad’s pocket? What sort of hole do you suppose it will leave in Sweat Baux’s skull?

  72. word-doctor
    February 19th, 2013 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    Stunning cuts/pastes with Rex.

    I thought perhaps June might have given him a straight left jab but I now think it was a flying stud from Honey’s nipple.

    MT: Rod’s aggrieved paranoia has reached the point that he now “accuses” himself, sotto voce and in the character of someone sitting in front of him. Bluegill might just as well play Molotov to Bassy’s Ribbentrop… the appeasement might last long enough so he can finish his pie.

  73. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 19th, 2013 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    Snuffy Smith: Fact check rates this…also true! The little toe is important to strength, balance and gait.

  74. Dr. P and the Women
    February 19th, 2013 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    RMMD: Honey, half of Rex’s face melted off like a Nazi peeking into the Ark of the Covenant after you dropped your towel. How many hints do you need that he’s not into girls?

  75. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 19th, 2013 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    Hey, that Rex clip-art sure comes in handy. I used it just now to express my reaction to this morning’s Crock. Just when I think a strip about hairy blobs in the desert couldn’t get more unsavory…

  76. Amos Snarkadder
    February 19th, 2013 at 9:41 am [Reply]

    MT – That was a rough exchange! Someone should have warned Bluegill not to play grab bass with Rod.

  77. billman
    February 19th, 2013 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    Better Half – Stanley has discovered the McEldowney app.

  78. Uncle Lumpy
    February 19th, 2013 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    @Druj Nasu (#56):

    Hee! Wow, nothing succeeds like excess — The Jumble is my favorite!

  79. Illustrator Steve
    February 19th, 2013 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    MT – “Hi, Bluegill! How’s my old little squirt of a friend who is no doubt probably accusing me of cheating?”
    “Grab me by my shirt again, Bassy, and I will SCREW THEE UP A PEG!”

  80. Leonard
    February 19th, 2013 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    ASM: Finally Spiderman can be a hero and take a missile for DD who is far more competent.

  81. TheDiva
    February 19th, 2013 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    9CL: When I was in, oh, about sixth grade or so, I would try to spice up my writing by going to the thesaurus and picking out the words I thought sounded obscure and interesting, without any understanding of the specific nuances of those words. The adjective rant in panel one looks like something I would have written back then.

    Pluggers suffer from irritated skin as a result of wallowing in their own filth.

    RMMD: That facepalm needs to be a t-shirt, TODAY.

  82. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 19th, 2013 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    Judge Parker: Do you suspect that we’ll find out that April’s dad shot a guy in the head in Belize, or does he just harbor purple-ish drug farmers from the US?

  83. Lenoxus
    February 19th, 2013 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    With the Count Weirdly Portal and now Eye-Covering Rex, we have to be careful that comics don’t become like the old Onion joke, “Televised Sporting Event Completely Obscured By On-Screen Graphics”

  84. Roy
    February 19th, 2013 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    RMMD & A3G: Notice the beautiful parallelism between Rex’s first panel pose today and Margo’s first panel yesterday? Coincidence? i think not.

  85. Gringo
    February 19th, 2013 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    Sexy Rex MD: Confronted by two gorgeous women, one of them naked, Rex quickly distracts himself by self-administering a quick eye test using a ceiling chart.

    That makes about as much sense as a normal Rex Morgan plotline.

  86. these go to 11
    February 19th, 2013 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    @The Divine O’F (#49):

    Amen to that! Thanks for the laugh, Uncle Lumpy!

  87. Mibbitmaker
    February 19th, 2013 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    FW: Tom Batiuk is not all there.

    Archie: Boots filled with Reggie?! You’d better see a podiatrist right away, Arch!

    A&J: Janis found Ellie Patterson’s cross, didn’t she?

    MT: Oh, that Rod! The man’s poker face has Burber teeth!

    MW: “…now I gotta go back home to that dullard Dr. Jeff! (heavy sigh)”

    Glibporn: Once again, Brooke ruins sex… for everyone!

    S-M: Oh, pleeeease let that missile explode on Spidey!
    Oh, pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease….

    Ziggy: “….say, where’s Perry…?”

  88. Hibbleton
    February 19th, 2013 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    JP: “Pancreatic Cancer, ha, I’ll drink to that! But seriously, why would any normal person keep it a secret that their dad is dying of a horrible disease?”
    –What is: JP picking up the level of dickishness that’s been lacking in RMMD lately.

  89. Revenge4Aldo
    February 19th, 2013 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    MW John: This is bittersweet. Mary Worth: For me too. HAHAHA Sorry, I couldn’t pretend to care about you any longer. Good luck in New York, sucker!

  90. seismic-2
    February 19th, 2013 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    ASM: Spidey fires his webbing at the missile. This will of course have the same effect as it did when he fired his webbing at that passing truck in Nevada, so Peter will soon be hitch-hiking behind a missile that’s about to explode. Some days, Kingpin just has it way too easy.

  91. Illustrator Steve
    February 19th, 2013 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    MT – With an intimidating bully of a friend like Rod Bassy around him all of the time it’s a wonder Catfish has aged even more than he has since yesterday!
    For Catfish’s sake I hope he can muster up enough courage to go right up to Bassy’s ugly face and recite the written words of the late Alfred Lord Tennessee as quoted to us yesterday by the literary nobleman, Nehemiah Scudder: “LET ME SCREW THEE UP A PEG!” …which will most likely be followed by the incompetent lord of lost forest, Mark Trail saying, “LET THY FISTS-O-JUSTICE SCREW THEE UP A BIT!”

  92. btown
    February 19th, 2013 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    chickweed: affected, arty, assuming, aureate, big*, bombastic, chichi*, conspicuous, euphuistic, exaggerated, extravagant, feigned, flamboyant, flashy, flaunting, flowery, gaudy, grandiloquent, grandiose, high-flown, high-sounding, highfaluting, hollow, imposing, inflated, jazzy, la-di-da, lofty, magniloquent, mincing, ornate, ostentatious, overambitious, overblown, pompous, puffed up, put-on, rhetorical, showy, specious, splashy, stilted, swank, too-too, tumid, turgid, utopian, vainglorious

    copied + pasted from thesaurus.com synonyms for “pretentious”. Wow, that was easy.

  93. yaoi huntress earth
    February 19th, 2013 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#58): I’m picturing a courtroom rant not unlike The Fountainhead where Juliette will get that woman free of any charges (even though she’s not a lawyer.) And/or a scene where someone gives the farmers what for by claiming how useless people like them are to society because they don’t have university-trained jobs or are at least artistic. Thus earning Brooke the wrath of working class people everywhere.

  94. Mibbitmaker
    February 19th, 2013 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    Luann: Tiffany is right about Luann and Quill’s “romance”. The whole thing is ridiculous, and….. Oh, wait….. she’s just being the spiteful, conniving other-woman villain-contrivance again! The common sense confused me there for a minute. Forget it, then. Carry on……….

  95. Illustrator Steve
    February 19th, 2013 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    I’d like to continue making comments this fine morning, but, nay, I must be off. It is time they LET ME SCREW THINGS UP A PEG.

  96. Dennis Jimenez
    February 19th, 2013 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    Plugger diet – why a Plugger can lose 5 lbs in 5 minutes…just by taking a dump!!!

    RMMD – So naturally I had to rub my breasts all over Rex – you can see how disconcerting it was for him….

    Hey Unka Lump – it reminds me of a Glee style mashup! YOLO!

  97. TheDiva
    February 19th, 2013 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    C’shaft: I can just picture Tom Batiuk wiping away tears of laughter as he penned panel two, then panicking as he realized he still had one panel to go. “I know, I’ll show The Kids These Days utterly failing to appreciate such trenchant wit! That’s always a good capper!”

    FW: There’s nothing to do in Funkytown but monitor the ravages time works on you and everyone you know.

    Luann: Ha-ha, wimmen and their purses, amirite? Also, once again the designated antagonist has a most rational and realistic perspective of any of the characters.

    Marvin: That there exists in the universe a creature whose sole purpose is to torment Marvin is a pretty convincing argument for cosmic justice.

    MT: Could you act a little more suspicious please? I don’t think the people in the back caught that.

    MW: Unlike the cake, which was just bitter.

    Phantom: The lioness is allergic to purple spandex.

    Pibgorn: Just because the Thousand and One Nights was considered steamy when it entered the European mainstream in the eighteenth century, doesn’t mean that it was porno, Brooke. Oh never mind, this is a guy who would find suggestive subtext in an IKEA instruction manual.

    SM: As opposed to missiles that don’t explode when they reach their target, I guess.

  98. TheDiva
    February 19th, 2013 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#97): or the most rational and realistic perspective, even.

  99. bats :[
    February 19th, 2013 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    Or, just mess with the original…Lord knows I do!

  100. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 19th, 2013 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    Momma — Another gasp from the past: Sonja takes five dollars out of her MAGICAL purse and hands the money to her deadbeat son. (The purse must be
    magical — it WASN’T in the first two panels!)

    Bonus: There’s a copy of the 1963 Mell Lazarus novel, The Boss Is Crazy Too, currently listed on eBay!

    http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=160977123070&ssPageName=ADME:B:SS:US:1123

  101. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    February 19th, 2013 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    @yaoi huntress earth (#93):

    Ideally, it would end when the Smuckler brothers testify. “We may not have Juliette’s book larnin’, but we do have Bachelor’s degrees in Animal Husbandry from Dartmouth, and that is where we learned how to properly use a bat to direct a cow’s movements without injuring them. Maybe if any of the Burbers or their ilk involved had taken a second to look into proper animal care, they would have realized this. But they were too busy blowing this up into, literally, a Federal Case so that they would have some drama to excite themselves over.

    Of course, the cow starved to death in the vet’s back yard while she was still working her way through page 74 of her thesaurus, thus we are adding Animal Cruelty to the charges.”

    By this point, Edda is screwing the bailiff behind the judges’ bench, and Juliette is dry-humping the jury box, and the whole case is adjourned while someone looks for a new bailiff to douse the Burbers with cold water so that they can resume the trial.

  102. seismic-2
    February 19th, 2013 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    Uncle Lumpy’s reference to Matthew 18:9 reminds me that there was a math professor back in Complex Analysis class who used to recite that verse when invoking the Re(z) operator. The third panel of today’s Crankshaft would have found its use in that classroom, obviously.

  103. bats :[
    February 19th, 2013 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#97): re Phantom: yeah, spandex of any color, worn for weeks on end, tastes like crap.

    Oh, look! More!

  104. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 19th, 2013 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    Sinfest: that really does describe them, sad to say.

    AD: Ben Franklin. (often misattributed to Camus.)

    JS: *SNURK!*

    LaCuc: KLANG!

    Lio: Dennis, take notes.

    SBp: /facepalm.

    Bizarro: ROFL! (also, the fate of Quill?)

    JUMBLE: Dramamine is only one word. :-(

    MG&G: usually that’s the girl’s line.

    RwO: *golf clap*

    rMC: unseen next panel, Norm and Ashley in bed in a wrecked motel room, happy post-O smiles all around.

  105. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 19th, 2013 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    Love Is. . . taking the load off.

  106. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 19th, 2013 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    Beetle Bailey — Jerry Dumas? He’s this guy:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jerry_Dumas

  107. Dartpaw86
    February 19th, 2013 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    @NonnyMus (#18):

    Me too, he really made my day UL :D

  108. Dartpaw86
    February 19th, 2013 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    @NonnyMus (#18):

    Me too, he really made my day :D

  109. The Ghost of Jarrod
    February 19th, 2013 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    RMMD – We need to make “Morganing” a thing. Or is “Rexing” catchier? Either way, this needs to happen.

  110. Dartpaw86
    February 19th, 2013 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    You know, Uncle Lumpy, that Rex Morgan panel would be a good opportunity to do another “Panel Cosplay Contest”

  111. jim, some guy in iowa
    February 19th, 2013 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    the rex reaction certainly improves the humor quotient wherever it’s placed

  112. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 19th, 2013 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    Dogs of C-Kennel

    “Eating pussy sandwiches is no way to go through life, son.”

    http://www.gocomics.com/dogsofckennel

  113. Ratiocinator
    February 19th, 2013 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    @Vanya (#16):

    they may have just been giving taps to encourage the cow forward.

    Um, no. I’m pretty sure that even somebody who knew nothing about raising cattle would know the difference between light taps and full strength swings.

    You know how Josh has rules about what not to talk about, because it invariably leads to arguments and things get ugly real fast? Well, there’s no rule against talking about how it’s okay to subject livestock to suffering, or how it’s okay to hit them with X amount of force, but there ought to be. Because if you defend this kind of thing, it’s going to be extremely difficult for me not to argue with you.

    For now I’m gonna say that cows being raised for meat have pretty shitty lives–not just on the day that they’re slaughtered, but every single day before that too–and leave it at that.

  114. Vince M
    February 19th, 2013 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    @Dale (#6): MT: “…all we know is, he’s called The Stig.”

  115. Ratiocinator
    February 19th, 2013 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#40): I still read paper books and consider myself a computer geek.

  116. Ratiocinator
    February 19th, 2013 at 11:14 am [Reply]

    @Charterstoned (#55): Maybe an exploding meteorite between Honey’s legs was what made her not like other girls?

  117. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    February 19th, 2013 at 11:14 am [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#113): I’m pretty sure that even somebody who knew nothing about raising cattle would know the difference between light taps and full strength swings.

    It would be perfectly in character for the Burber-by-proxy to have seen light taps and blown it up in her mind to some crusade to save the cows.

    Yes, the author will probably reveal that the Smucklers were, indeed, abusing the poor animal, but it has been made clear that the whole agenda here was the opportunity to involve the Burbers in a self-righteous drama (why is Edda needed, ferchrissake?). And, as has been noted, people who make a living off of their livestock tend to either learn how to treat them better or go out of business, so the designated Straw Men are clearly just being set up as representatives of the Beefwits.

    You would think a beefwit would at least know how to raise cattle!

  118. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 19th, 2013 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    Although Uncle Lumpy took all the low hanging fruit, here’s a Rex Morgan blank to play with.

  119. Ratiocinator
    February 19th, 2013 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    @Doctor Handsome (#62): There is no way she doesn’t just start repeating herself after two or three minutes.

  120. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 19th, 2013 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    One hundred years ago today, the first prizes were inserted into boxes of Cracker Jack snacks.

    Six months later, Rufus of Gasoline Alley became the first person to accidentally swallow a Cracker Jack prize.

  121. Ned Ryerson
    February 19th, 2013 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    MT: This is the most timely Mark Trail in a while, as the theme of being “catfished” has risen to major prominence with the recent Manti Te’o news story. What? This isn’t that kind of “catfishing” but the old fashioned kind where a mutant boy gets tied up in the back of Rod Bassy’s fishin’ wagon? Nevermind.

  122. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 19th, 2013 at 11:20 am [Reply]

  123. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 19th, 2013 at 11:21 am [Reply]

  124. jim, some guy in iowa
    February 19th, 2013 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#113):

    actually, they have good days and bad days, same as every other living being. i gather you’re morally opposed to meat? i respect that – sometimes i even think you might be right. but as someone who’s worked with livestock from the time i was a small boy, the notion that *all* farm animals live hellishly cruel lives from beginning to end is just wrong.

    i’m not looking for an argument myself, so i’m going to let this be my last word

  125. Ratiocinator
    February 19th, 2013 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#117):

    And, as has been noted, people who make a living off of their livestock tend to either learn how to treat them better or go out of business, so the designated Straw Men are clearly just being set up as representatives of the Beefwits.

    Two things:

    1. It’s not impossible that these guys have tempers which are overruling their ability to remember “Hey, we need to be careful not to hurt this cow because otherwise she might be unable to walk or end up dying”.

    2. I’m sure that, just like there are places you can hit a human being really hard to cause a great deal of pain while not risking injury or death, there are places you can hit an animal really hard to cause a great deal of pain while not risking injury or death.

  126. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 19th, 2013 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    @Dartpaw86 (#110): I was thinking the same thing myself. It’s too difficult to do at the office, otherwise, I would have kicked things off.

  127. seismic-2
    February 19th, 2013 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    I think the “Rex emblem” should be permanently painted onto the Saint Dead Lisa memorial park bench, because whenever Les sits down on it, whatever he says or does next will surely merit that reaction. Case in point – the Cayla proposal.

  128. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 19th, 2013 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#123): Dammit, I just threw out my copy of Photoshop.

  129. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 19th, 2013 at 11:33 am [Reply]

    Mickey Mouse — Don’t come knocking when the trailer is rocking:

    http://www.creators.com/comics/mickey-mouse/102358.html

  130. Ratiocinator
    February 19th, 2013 at 11:36 am [Reply]

    @jim, some guy in iowa (#124): I’ll respect your wish not to get into an argument here, so I’ll try not to say anything that starts one. But I want to set the record straight about what I meant when I said cows raised for meat had shitty lives.

    That was a mistake. I should’ve said “most”. I don’t think that all cows on all farms are miserable. I know that’s not true.

    Cows on factory farms, however, are. And my understanding is that most meat comes from factory farms. This isn’t surprising, since factory farms are designed to produce lots of meat and keep as many animals in as little space as possible in order to make lots of money selling a lot of meat and spend very little money paying for space. Whereas a family-owned farm that treats the livestock well and gives them space to roam around and so on is going to produce less.

    Now, it’s difficult to talk about this without getting preachy, and I don’t want to get preachy because I didn’t used to like it when people got preachy with me and, what’s more, it’s just not effective. I think that vegetarians/vegans/people who’ve sworn off certain kinds of meat but not all/whatever and meat-eaters ought of have some kind of pact that goes something like “Okay, I won’t tell you you’re doing something wrong by eating this or that, and you don’t tell me that it’s okay to hurt animals, or that I shouldn’t get upset about how animals are treated and that it’s really not that bad, etc.”

    Anyway…

    These Smuckler guys aren’t running a factory farm from the looks of it, but considering that factory farms exist in the first place, my point is that not all farmers really care whether their livestock is having a good or bad day. They’re human beings and, as such, can be either good or bad people.

  131. Ned Ryerson
    February 19th, 2013 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    @Ned Ryerson (#121): Or Rusty could get “Catfished” in a hybridized way in which he goes looking online for mature men to take him fishing, but ends up being misled by deceitful predators. Either way, he ends up in the back of a van. Poor Rusty. (Yeah, I don’t know if the concept of “online” can really exist in the Trail-iverse, so Catfish may have to remain nothing more than a middle aged bald man in an Ocean Pacific t-shirt stolen from Josh’s bedroom in 1985.)

  132. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 19th, 2013 at 11:52 am [Reply]

    @The Right Venerable Pasdordan (#128): Download GIMP. It’s better anyway, and free.

  133. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 19th, 2013 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#132): I’ve used GIMP in the past, not sure if I get enough use out of it to download it again. That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.

  134. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 19th, 2013 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    Drabble: Ok. Honest. I don’t get it. Why does Ralph smell like a badger. Why should that be funny? Anyone, please?

  135. Ratiocinator
    February 19th, 2013 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    @Ned Ryerson (#131):

    Yeah, I don’t know if the concept of “online” can really exist in the Trail-iverse

    Well, they have modern cameras with memory cards, albeit ones that look like cameras from the ’50s.

    So Rusty could go online, sure. His computer, however, would appear at first glance to be a pen and paper.

  136. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 19th, 2013 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#132): Download GIMP. It’s better anyway, and free.

    Ok, I feel a little guilty about that. I don’t KNOW that it is better. But it is plenty powerful enough for me, and it is free.

  137. Sequitur
    February 19th, 2013 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#134): Ha! Badger. Ha ha!

    //I don’t read Drabble.

  138. Marc
    February 19th, 2013 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

    @Ned Ryerson (#131): The concept of email vaguely exists in the Trail universe. Mark scurried away from Rusty to go check it at one point before they were going to go fishing. Of course Mark was conviently called away on urgent business before we ever got to see a computer or fishing.

  139. Inexplicable Bear Tongue
    February 19th, 2013 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: What I can get over is how Honey’s nakedness has incapacitated Rex. June’s having a full conversation with her while Rex is off on the other side of the room flailing around incoherently. It amuses the hell out of me to imagine and contrast what the artist thought he was doing with the art from the last two days, comparing that to what he did do.

    But please, keep at it. So have Rex rolling around on the ground tomorrow, and Thursday, have him blindly flail his way out into the street where he gets hit by a car. And Friday, the ambulance gets into a terrible accident on the I-5 because he couldn’t stop smacking the driver in the head. And then Saturday, he inadvertently destroys the ER with his out of control arms knocking everything all over the place.

    That would be a week of a soap strip I could get behind.

    Pibgorn 2/15: I wonder if there are any unironic fans of this strip who were waiting in moist anticipation, wondering when AND IF, the blue woman with the terrible unkempt pixie cut was going to have an orgasm, and if !!we would get to see it!!

    I bet they’d know that blue woman’s name, too.

  140. seismic-2
    February 19th, 2013 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    @Ned Ryerson (#131), @Marc (#138): We have seen that in LoFo the memory of a digital camera is regarded as being equivalent to film in a conventional camera (which it resembles in clip-art detail, of course), so when Rusty takes a bunch of photos Mark has to take him into town to buy more memory. I don’t know whether Kelley Welley’s camera works that same way, but it could.

  141. groddeck
    February 19th, 2013 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    Regarding Drabble – Dachsunds were used to flush out badgers from their holes. Their shape made this easier. I suppose they needed a certain amount of ferocity for this too, which seems to have been bred out.

  142. Austria
    February 19th, 2013 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    BC: Animaniacs beat you to it. “Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy but socially dead.”

    FC: Or a pound sign.

    FW: And in today’s Funky Winkerbean, Harry L. Dinkle forgets that he lost his hearing a long time ago.

    RMMD: Still the best thing in the paper.

  143. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    February 19th, 2013 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#40): Some of the best computer reference books I have aren’t on Kindle or online yet. Plus, there’s nothing more frustrating that waiting for something to load or boot up when I need an answer “right now” — especially when I have sticky-note bookmarks on the pages I most frequently look at.

  144. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    February 19th, 2013 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#54):

    I’m stuck here in “frisco”…
    and time keeps dragin’ on

  145. terrapin
    February 19th, 2013 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    MT: “Are you accusing me of cheating!?!” I’m predicting that by the end of this story Bassy will be shouting that to every bass he catches.

    RMMD: Ok, let’s say it was a can of beer, and let’s say it exploded.

  146. Marc
    February 19th, 2013 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    MT- “Rod Bassey, this is my father in law Doc.”
    “Nice to meet you Doc.”
    “NO! He’s probably outside!”
    “WHAT? Are you accusing me of cheating?!?!”

  147. seismic-2
    February 19th, 2013 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#40): When doing “real work” that involves looking things up, it’s much easier to have a bunch of books open at once and switch back and forth among them than it is to keep opening and closing eBooks on a device such as a Kindle. I might be able to get by OK with a bunch of PDF versions of the text, however, since you can keep them all open in separate Windows on your PC.

  148. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 19th, 2013 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#134): Drabble: Ok. Honest. I don’t get it. Why does Ralph smell like a badger. Why should that be funny? Anyone, please?

    Because Ralph Drabble had been badgering a badger, he smells like a badger. Strangely enough, Ralph had also hectored a Hector earlier the same day. But Ralph’s weiner dog didn’t catch so much as a whiff of ol’ Hector. Go figure!

  149. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    February 19th, 2013 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#146): We really need “WHAT? Are you accusing me of cheating?!?!” to be turned into a tee-shirt…

  150. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 19th, 2013 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#144):

    Now, I’m just gonna sit at the dock of the bay
    Watching the tide roll away
    Oooo-wee, sittin’ on the dock of the bay
    Wastin’ time

    [SOUND OF WHISTLING IN BACKGROUND]

  151. Sequitur
    February 19th, 2013 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#134): Okay. I read Drabble. So what have we here? We have a dachshund, a type of dog that was bred to flush out badgers. Pops Drabble happens to smell like a badger (for some unknown reason) triggering the badger flushing instinct of Wally the dachshund. Hmmm.

    I think this could only be funny if we saw Pops Drabble being attacked by a cete of badgers.

  152. Hibbleton
    February 19th, 2013 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    Marm: Bribing his way into an interspecies marriage has backfired.

  153. Rita Lake and the Special Goddesses
    February 19th, 2013 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

    I still want to know where Honey was going with that “I’m not like other girls” comment—because a beer can exploded on her? Lamest reveal in the history of RMMD.

  154. DreadedCandiru2
    February 19th, 2013 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

    @yaoi huntress earth (#4): Why, of course it is. It’s also an open invitation for Morbo to yell “DAIRY FARMING DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY!!!”

  155. Ratiocinator
    February 19th, 2013 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

    @Rita Lake and the Special Goddesses (#153): “I’m not like other girls because I find your usual dickishness to be an enormous turn-on, Rex! Take me now!”

  156. Shrug, Gesture, Mime, Salute, Gesticulate, Genuflect...
    February 19th, 2013 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#14):

    “9CL-Looks like someone got their hands on a thesaurus.”

    Maybe R. Lionel Fanthorpe has taken to ghosting the strip for McE:

    http://www.peltorro.com/thesaurus.htm

  157. Crankshafts funky smelling corpse
    February 19th, 2013 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#61): Oh, right. The computer game sword lady. And the beefwit computer nerd/troll/whatever.

    I think Brooky is bored with his comic, and doesn’t know what to do.

  158. Shrug, Scooping Up an Easy Joke
    February 19th, 2013 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#33):

    “Why does elephant dung have more market value than cat crap?”

    The elephant dung collectors have higher expenses; have you priced Elephant Litter (and Elephant Litter Boxes) lately?

  159. Crankshafts funky smelling corpse
    February 19th, 2013 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#125): Naah, you’re giving waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much credit to a McEldowner’s straw-man plot line.

    You can’t polish this turd.

  160. Baka Gaijin
    February 19th, 2013 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#33): A question for the ages, for the great minds, for Albert Camus.

  161. commodorejohn
    February 19th, 2013 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#34): *eyes the dozen computers taking up most of the space in his apartment*

    *eyes the stacks of printed books taking up most of the rest of the space in his apartment*

    Yes. Clearly.

  162. Liam
    February 19th, 2013 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    RMMD-A can of beer? Right. So that’s what they are calling it nowadays.

  163. Ratiocinator
    February 19th, 2013 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    @Crankshafts funky smelling corpse (#159): Well, there’s one thing we can all agree on, I think. Brooke’s not above strawmanning as we know, and if the guys with the bats are supposed to represent blue collar folks in general rather than rotten farmers in particular as yaoi huntress earth said in #4, then yeah, Brooke’s being a shithead again.

  164. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 19th, 2013 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

  165. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 19th, 2013 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    JP: “It’s almost as if he’s not really her father, but rather the Company handler who trained her to kill. That’s just crazy talk, though.”

    RMMD: Rex is still in the grips of PNWSD (Post Naked Woman Stress Disorder.) I look forward to seeing the treatment he chooses for himself.

    MT: You know a guy is spoiling for a fight when he talks to himself and then attacks you over what he himself said. Especially when what he said is totally inoffensive.

    MW: Now he’ll always associate Mary with bittersweet chocolate. In fact, Dill will spend his nights in New York’s dive bars. Sometimes he’ll say to the bartender “Let me show you my chocolate fantasy,” and produce a 3×5 of Mary Worth. It’s going to be puzzling for everyone.

    C-Shaft: And that’s as good as the jokes will get too. It’s going to be a long class.

    Crock: Please do not have Maggot talk about porn, or say any words that sound remotely like “porn.” I don’t want to think about what he does in his alone time. Or his time with Grossie for that matter.

    BC: Ben Franklin wasn’t particularly boring. Of course he frequently had company when going to bed and when “rising.”

    H&L: I’d like to know how Ditto articulated the feet. That puking/shitting snowman is an engineering marvel.

    DT: It looks like Sweatbox is about to be taken down by a subterranean hunchback and a perky tomboy with practically no involvement with the title character. Dick’s been studying the Spider-Man method.

    FC: Thel is so glad to have you little melonheads around keeping her up to date on the latest in punctuation.#birthcontrol

    SSmith: If you need an illustration of the phrase “bedside manner”… keep looking.

    A3G: So much for the severe burns and whatever else had Greg bedridden a half hour ago in strip time. Screw James Bond, this guy should be playing Wolverine.

  166. Government Cheese
    February 19th, 2013 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Huh. What is she talking about? Is she going to somehow tinker with Luann’s Skype account? Most likely, this plotline will last for about 2-3 months, off and on, and it will involve Tiffany rummaging through Luann’s locker, stealing passwords, and putting her boobs on the internet. THAT WILL SHOW HER.

    MW: Hey weren’t they in a pink car on the way to the show? Are they such asshole winners that they have to steal the losing team’s car too?

  167. Hibbleton
    February 19th, 2013 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    @Government Cheese (#166):
    MW: Hey weren’t they in a pink car on the way to the show? Are they such asshole winners that they have to steal the losing team’s car too?

    As a celebrity, Dill changes cars often to avoid the paparazzi.

  168. Anonymous
    February 19th, 2013 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#54):
    but if things go well in Frisco
    we’ll get to watch him die.
    ’cause every time I see him
    I hang my head and cry.

  169. Bootsy
    February 19th, 2013 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    Sorry if this has been pre-snarked, but…shouldn’t that plugger being doing that with a hind leg?

  170. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 19th, 2013 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#127): Rex would become an icon of perceptiveness and good sense if that happened.

  171. Government Cheese
    February 19th, 2013 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    @Hibbleton (#167): Well, he is heir to the Dill Pickle fortune. He is probably still a little jittery after all the paparazzi chased him out of a Papa John’s.

  172. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 19th, 2013 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#81): Re9CL: You know why Vet Lady’s mouth is open so wide? She’s vomiting out a thesaurus.

  173. Mikey
    February 19th, 2013 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    @Vince M (#114): Some say he carries large bass in his pants,

  174. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 19th, 2013 at 2:12 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#112): Apparently Dogs of C-Kennel is one of those links that’ll get me fired if I open it at work.

  175. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 19th, 2013 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

    @Crankshafts funky smelling corpse (#38):

    Rex wandering around still with vapors while June has a tete a tete with the blonde bimbo is priceless.

    Graham Nolan really knows how to draw tetes and ass. Three guesses who the latter is.

  176. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 19th, 2013 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#33): It’s all in the name, Hogenmogen. Because “Black Ivory” is a much cooler name for a feces-based coffee than “Kopi Luwak” (gesundheit!).

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#174): My links are generally “G” or “PG” rated. Unless I put a NSFW next to it. Have I ever steered you wrong?

  177. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 19th, 2013 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#176): I was just kidding (he said with great sincerity.) I’ve read DOCK before, although generally I catch up with it on Sundays.

  178. Peanut Gallery
    February 19th, 2013 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

    I guess all you masochists who read 9CL on a regular basis are used to those terrifying shark-mouths by now, but as for me… *Yeesh!*

  179. Alfred E. Neuman
    February 19th, 2013 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#165) said: “RMMD: Rex is still in the grips of PNWSD (Post Naked Woman Stress Disorder.) I look forward to seeing the treatment he chooses for himself.”

    Rex has a demonstrated interest in boys’ wrestling teams, and Pacific Beach is near both La Jolla and Mission Bay high schools. Thus, to recover from the shock of seeing a naked woman, he’ll go to both schools and offer to give their wrestlers free hernia checks and prostate exams. Even if “Oedipus” Rex has managed to poke his eyes out, he can still do those exams by feel.

  180. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 19th, 2013 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

    @Mikey (#173): Only “some” people, Mikey. Other people say Bassy wears bassless chaps.

  181. Peanut Gallery
    February 19th, 2013 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#43): But that would be cheating!

  182. Buck Ripsnort
    February 19th, 2013 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#64): Or to replace it w/, you know, an actual PUNCH LINE?!
    HATEFREDBASSETHATEHATEHATE!!!!!!

  183. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 19th, 2013 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#44): … when the hell is anyone going to get me coffee, dammit?

    “Black Ivory” or civet coffee? Or the Phantom’s favorite: “Big Cat Mocha”?

  184. Peanut Gallery
    February 19th, 2013 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#134): Ralph just returned from a University of Wisconsin football game and he “smells like team spirit”?

  185. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 19th, 2013 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    @groddeck (#141): Regarding Drabble – Dachshunds were used to flush out badgers from their holes.

    That’s the point? Mr. Fagan, the Drabbleist, thinks everyone knows the origin story of the dachshund? Seems a little obscure, but there you go. I see that “dachs” is German for badger. And I was afraid I wouldn’t learn anything today.

    But, assuming the dog is correct (and you really have to take a dog’s word on these things) why would Ralph smell like badger? Has he been engaged in the badger game? Is he a fan of whatever sports team that is?

    // I may not be able to sleep tonight.

  186. Calico
    February 19th, 2013 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

    RM – Oh noes! Tits. And maybe a landing strip?
    I love the Rex app, BTW. Props.

  187. Peanut Gallery
    February 19th, 2013 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

    @Austria (#142): (BC) The Animaniacs got it from James Thurber: “Early to rise and early to bed makes a male healthy and wealthy and dead.”

  188. Gladly, the cross-eyed bear
    February 19th, 2013 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

    9CL: There are a number of valid and important points to be made about our treatment of food animals, but I feel very secure in predicting that McEldowney will be making none of them.

  189. Calico
    February 19th, 2013 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#183):
    Crappucino! 50 bucks a cup.

  190. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 19th, 2013 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

    Rabbits Against Magic — Sloths is the cwaziest peoples:

    http://www.gocomics.com/rabbitsagainstmagic/2013/02/19

  191. Peanut Gallery
    February 19th, 2013 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

    @Government Cheese (#171): And he was only trying to pick up a paparazzi pizza!

  192. Calico
    February 19th, 2013 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#1):
    Archie hair – the original hashtag

  193. Liam
    February 19th, 2013 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    9CL-”I shall devour their souls the way they devour the meat of the cow.”

    MW-”I shall never see you again. Once your story is done we never talk about you or think about you again.”

    RMMD-”Is she still here? Mommy, make the naughty naked lady go away.”

    Sally Forth-”Now continue to ignore me while I talk openly about how I want to kill you and the ways I’ll do it too.”

  194. Calico
    February 19th, 2013 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#178):
    I know, I don’t like to look at it either unless the cat makes an appearance-those gaping maws could swallow John Dill’s cake whole.

  195. Baka Gaijin
    February 19th, 2013 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#185): That, my friend, is the question. Why indeed would Ralph Drabble smell like a badger? Judging by Ralph’s past illustrated in the strip, badgers smell like donuts and all kinds of fast food and quiet despair.

  196. Ratiocinator
    February 19th, 2013 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#178): It’s only the second time I’ve seen one. I’m hoping (likely in vain) that it’ll be the last.

  197. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 19th, 2013 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#179): I can see hilarity ensuing when the assistant coach assigns an unwitting Rex to examine the team mascot. (Probably a donkey, because I don’t think it’s legal to keep kangaroos up here.)

  198. Crankshafts funky smelling corpse
    February 19th, 2013 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#163): Exactly.

    Now, if the Schmuko bros. were really NYC transplants to rural Burberdom, where they were going to make organic cheese or vegan beef or something like that, but it’s going all wrong and those animals looked so cute in the pictures, but OMG, the smell! Well, then you might have a story line that could go somewhere.

    But it won’t. We all know this.

  199. Gladly, the cross-eyed bear
    February 19th, 2013 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

    JP: “Yeah, April’s weirdly protective of her dying father. Women, amirite? She actually believed that her desire for privacy was as important as Katherine’s wish to horn in on our wedding! I set her straight, believe me! I don’t think she’ll make that mistake again!”

  200. Jeffy Keane, the new Keane King
    February 19th, 2013 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

    I’m pretty sure thesis how today’s Family Circus rerun came about: “Hmm, I’m too stoned to draw a comic. Time to pick one from the rerun bin again. Hmm…this one doesn’t look bad, plus we haven’t used it in four months. People won’t remember that! Let me see…how about I change ‘number’ to ‘hashtag’, since the kids these days with their gadgets love those things! Well, time to play tennis and get piss drunk!”

  201. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 19th, 2013 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#189): Crappucino: Coming soon to a Starbutts® near you.

  202. Hogenmogen
    February 19th, 2013 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#164): ARE YOU ACCUSING ME OF CHEATING??

  203. Hogenmogen
    February 19th, 2013 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#161): ARE YOU ACCUSING ME OF CHEATING??

  204. AhClem
    February 19th, 2013 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#165):

    RMMD: Rex is still in the grips of PNWSD (Post Naked Woman Stress Disorder.) I look forward to seeing the treatment he chooses for himself.

    There can be only one treatment. Rex pulls down his pants, takes off a shoe and begins beating himself against a table, while shouting, “Bad penis! BAD!!

  205. Hogenmogen
    February 19th, 2013 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#160): ARE YOU ACCUSING ME OF CHEATING??

    You MUST be accusing me of cheating, since I can’t fish worth a Jackel Rod Ball.

  206. Old Folkie
    February 19th, 2013 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#41): Nice Winsor McKay reference.

  207. KreatureFeatures
    February 19th, 2013 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    Great job Lump!

  208. Rod Bassy
    February 19th, 2013 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

    Will all of you who believe me to be cheating please raise your hands?

  209. Sequitur
    February 19th, 2013 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    S4th: Ted broke the 4th (no pun) wall and is talking to us because he knows we’re out here. Remember, he blogged on the Curmudgeon site in the strip. He’s one of us but his coworker knows nothing about this so Ted has to make an excuse on why he appears to be talking to himself. Ted is like our own secret agent sent to the comic strip world.

    We hear you Ted and commiserate with you.

  210. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 19th, 2013 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    @Old Folkie (#206): Thanks. Apparently, Fritzi isn’t the only Rarebit Fiend on today’s comics page:

    http://www.gocomics.com/randolphitch/2013/02/19

  211. Alfred E. Neuman
    February 19th, 2013 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#197) said: “@Alfred E. Neuman (#179): I can see hilarity ensuing when the assistant coach assigns an unwitting Rex to examine the team mascot. (Probably a donkey, because I don’t think it’s legal to keep kangaroos up here.)”

    I grew up in San Diego, and I know that the Mission Bay High School mascot is a Buccaneer. I’m not sure about the La Jolla High School mascot, but I think it’s a Hedge Fund Manager.

  212. Bandleader Becky
    February 19th, 2013 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    @Rod Bassy (#208): Will all of you who believe Harry Dinkle was being cruel today please raise yo… oh, wait…

  213. Calico
    February 19th, 2013 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#197):
    But will he marry it?

  214. Calico
    February 19th, 2013 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#194):
    Or, as Brooke would say, “in its entirety.”

  215. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    February 19th, 2013 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#189): Nothing beats this kopi luwak in terms of cost and disgustingness [*] — http://gadgets.boingboing.net/2009/05/22/kopi-luwak-the-most.html — though IMHO coffee is pretty rancid in general.

    That being said, I intend to spend my retirement (ha!) years trying to hybridize and grow coffee in Colorado dirt. Taste and cost seem to be irrelevant factors, anyway, to the “Always Buy American” crowd.

  216. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 19th, 2013 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

    Does there need to be more? Yes.

  217. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 19th, 2013 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

    And more?

  218. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 19th, 2013 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

    And yet more? Yes indeedy.\!

    // What!? Are you accusing me of CHEATING?!!!

  219. Sequitur
    February 19th, 2013 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#216): Headline: CRAZED EGRET POKES HOLE IN MAN’S FOREHEAD!

  220. Alison
    February 19th, 2013 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

    “Luann”: Tiffany is 100% correct as per usual but still gets mocked, also as per usual. I’m pretty sure she could say literally anything and she would be mocked for it by her “friends”.

    “The math test is tomorrow, so I should study.”
    “Tiffany, you are such a shallow moron!”

    “It’s cold outside, so I think I should wear my coat today.”
    “You’re jealous of Luann and everyone hates you, Tiffany!”

    “9 Chickweed”: Oh my, that black-haired woman just opened her mouth wider than any of the characters in FOOB ever did! Wowza!

    “Mary Worth”: Why the hell is this bittersweet. John and Mary won a bunch of undeserved cash, John has a chance to work with someone famous, and yes Mary is staying behind but that is *by choice*. Everyone should be happy. Instead they are sad. Is this strip taking cues from “Funky Winkerbean” now?

  221. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    February 19th, 2013 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#97): Oh never mind, this is a guy who would find suggestive subtext in an IKEA instruction manual.

    I think this is likely to be literally true. Remember the “mortise and tenon” metaphor?

  222. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    February 19th, 2013 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#117): It would be perfectly in character for the Burber-by-proxy to have seen light taps and blown it up in her mind to some crusade to save the cows.

    Yes. Remember that this is the family that all decided to drop everything and fly to Vienna when Edda – with no medical confirmation whatsoever – was under the impression that she might be pregnant.

    (I suspect this is part of why the vet is Juliette’s protege in this: she’s overly dramatic, wordy for wordiness’s sake, and fills Juliette’s need to be the sarcastic commentary now that Edda’s left the nest.)

  223. Hogenmogen
    February 19th, 2013 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#220): MW: Why is this bittersweet?

    It’s sweet because they teamed up and won a prize… and Mary grabbed a honkin’ mouthful of left over icing.

    It’s bitter because Mary used John Dill to score half of the $10K prize money and is now done with the meddle. “You go on to NYC, John. No, I can’t hold you up, you have a future, and it’s gilded in pink marzipan! Go! Go where the wind takes you, you free spirit! I’ll take my cut of the prize in cashier check, thanks.”

  224. Sequitur
    February 19th, 2013 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

    There was a brief discussion of LEGOs in yesterthread. Check these babies out.

    Click on the arrow in the right middle of picture for more LEGO pics.

  225. Hogenmogen
    February 19th, 2013 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#97): PigPorn: “this is a guy who would find suggestive subtext in an IKEA instruction manual.”

    I can see it now…

    McEl: Insert peg into …. Line up the holes and then screw… ooh! God, I want to touch myself right now!!

  226. Vanya
    February 19th, 2013 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#113):

    “Um, no. I’m pretty sure that even somebody who knew nothing about raising cattle would know the difference between light taps and full strength swings.”

    No, we’re talking about 9 Chickweed Lane here, not real life. I sympathize with your distress about the mistreatment farm animals are generally subjected to, but if you think Brooke McEldowney actually gives a rat’s ass about that issue you’re sadly mistaken. As always, this story line is simply an excuse for his protagonists to demonstrate their superiority to the common prole. I will assume the Smucklers are innocent of Brooke’s libel until I see solid objective proof to the contrary.

  227. Baka Gaijin
    February 19th, 2013 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#205): YES I AM! I’M ACCUSING YOU OF CHEATING! IN UPPER CASE LETTERS AND WITH EXCLAMATION POINTS! I HURL A VIRTUAL JACKELROD BALL AT YOU IN LIEU OF SLAPPING YOUR FACE WITH WHITE KID GLOVES, OPERA LENGTH!

  228. Chip Whittle
    February 19th, 2013 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    I’m no longer sure it’s safe to read about Pibgorn on my work computer.

  229. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 19th, 2013 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#184): You say “team spirit,” we say “peppermint schnapps…”

  230. Hogenmogen
    February 19th, 2013 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#220): Re: Luann:
    I’d usually agree that Luann gets away with acting like a jerk and Tiff gets undervalued. Luann is the teflon and Tiff is the velcro.

    In this case, though, Tiff is jealous of Luann’s doomed video romance. Quill might pop in for a short bit, but as a minor, he has no control over where he ultimately winds up. I did a long distance relationship a few times (I’m exceptionally good at it). However, all of the other LDRs that existed in my peer group when I went to college my freshman year didn’t last long. Of course, most close up relationships at that age don’t stick around long, either.

    I can’t fathom the bizarre universe where Luann exists where this hot high school senior who makes it her MO to throw herself at any decent dude can’t find ONE to hook up with. Has she EVER had a boyfriend? I’ve been semi-following the strip since I found awesomeness here at the CC, and NOT ONE TIME has she ever had a boyfriend, semi-boyfriend, hookup, friend-with-benefits or “I don’t know.. it’s complicated.”

  231. Hogenmogen
    February 19th, 2013 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#227): Woah, Baka, you shouldn’t drink so much Black Ivory.

    … I mean… YOU’RE JUST JEALOUS BECAUSE I’M THE BEST FISHERMAN THAT THERE IS!

    BUT FOR THE LOW INTRODUCTORY PRICE OF $19.99, YOU TOO CAN SHARE IN MY FISHING EXPERIENCE WITH THE ROD BASSY BASS KILLER THINGY LURE THAT LIGHTS UP OR SOMETHING!*

    *results may vary

  232. Hogenmogen
    February 19th, 2013 at 5:07 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#183): ARE YOU TRYING TO TAKE PICTURES OF MY BACK SEAT?

  233. commodorejohn
    February 19th, 2013 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (#228): COTW nominee!

  234. Hogenmogen
    February 19th, 2013 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

    @Rod Bassy (#208): I’m not accusing you of cheating, but did I see you bait your line with clippings from “Pices: The freakiest fish porn magazine in the WORLD”?

  235. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    February 19th, 2013 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#230): I have some sympathy for Tiffany’s situation, given that the boys at her school seem to fall entirely into one of two categories: half-way decent sorts who are attracted to Luann or are the subjects of Luann’s crushes, and creeps, weirdos, and idiots. Plus there aren’t that many of them – ten? Fifteen, tops.

    (Yes, I’m aware that there’s some overlap between the two categories. Regardless, the upshot of it is that if Tiffany wanted a decent romantic relationship, she’d have better luck if she batted for the other team, or if she was able to transfer to a different school.)

  236. Sequitur
    February 19th, 2013 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#234): Fish Porn?! Don’t give Brooke McEldowney any ideas!

  237. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 19th, 2013 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

    @Crankshafts funky smelling corpse (#198): I could really go for some of that vegan organic prosciutto, but only if it were kosher.

  238. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    February 19th, 2013 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#235): …or better yet, a different comic – not the options there are all that promising:

    Rex Morgan or Judge Parker: breasts not large enough.
    Funky: Out of the frying pan and into the fire. With smirking and bad semi-puns.
    9CL: I don’t think she has the vocabulary for it. Plus, she’d be even more of a second fiddle to the strip’s Special Snowflake, and the pool of available men is even more dire.
    A3G: She’d end up as one of the blue people, I’m afraid, or a minion of Margo’s.
    MW: This has some promise. She’s already used to being meddled by her “friend” Crystal, and Mary actually has some track record in setting people up. And her hairstyle is certainly strange enough.
    Spiderman: She does have experience cosplaying as a superhero. But she’d probably steal the show, given how inept Parker is, so I can’t imagine they’d let her stick around for long. If she’s lucky, they’ll let her run off with a guy in an ape suit or something.
    Mark Trail: *collapses into giggles*
    Pluggers: *even more giggling*

  239. TheDiva
    February 19th, 2013 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#230): But you see, Tiffany repels the opposite sex because she’s terrible and evil, unlike Luann who’s wonderful and perfect and so bursting with inner beauty that she needs to beat her suitors off with a stick. Because if there’s one thing teenaged boys hate, it’s the pretty, popular cheerleader who flirts with them and laughs at their jokes and might actually put….

    ….You know, I’m starting to think Evans didn’t think this through very well.

  240. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    February 19th, 2013 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#234): @Sequitur (#236): Rule 34, though not in the way one might expect. (SFW)

  241. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    February 19th, 2013 at 5:30 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#224): You want a mindblowing Lego story? The 5th graders in the Lego Robotics club at my kids’ school just scored a preliminary patent for a wheelchair lift made out of Lego. They are trying to raise the $2000 needed for the legal fees to finish filing the full patent.

    Keep in mind that this accomplishment only rated “2nd” place at the state LR competition.

  242. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    February 19th, 2013 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#235): Tiff and Frankie of Big Walnut Tech (FW-world) would probably be a super power couple.

  243. Sgt. Stoned
    February 19th, 2013 at 5:49 pm [Reply]

    BB: Today’s strip is a perfect illustration of the old adage “You can’t cheat an honest man”. The call is obviously a scam and stupid DISHONEST asshole Beetle is about to give the scammer his credit card and bank account numbers. Then again, anyone who steals Beetle Bailey’s identity is sure to be sorry. After all, the loser has been in the Army for 60 years and he is still a private.

  244. Alison
    February 19th, 2013 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#230):
    “Has she EVER had a boyfriend?”

    Well, slimy ol’ Leslie Knox did throw himself at Tiffany, but, she turned him down. (It was then implied by Crystal that Tiffany deserved to be sexually harassed by Knox, which oddly enough no one ever said when Knox did the exact same thing to Rosa.)

  245. ralph
    February 19th, 2013 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

    I’ve never seen any reason to read 9CL, so I have no context for the day’s rather dramatic opening. And you know, that’s fine with me. Let it be said that I object to hitting people with bats, and move on.
    RMMD: Um, Rex is a grown man who looks at naked people every day for a living. In a gag comic, such as Hi and Lois, this reaction might be funny. In a soap opera strip where pretty much everything that happens is feasible, if exaggerated, it’s just weird. For a stripper, Honey apparently doesn’t have much idea of how to attract a married man. Wandering around naked in his apartment when his wife is a short walk away, doesn’t do it. June looks remarkably like Michelle Obama in the last panel, in the lull before the crockery begins flying. Finally, oh come comic strip artist, with all the stuff that’s “fit to print” in the comics these days you can’t give us a bare boob shot? Honey’s going to wear out that towel dropping it and picking it up.
    GA: Speaking of “fit to print” I concede that I would never thought I would see in the mainstream comics a man proposing to marry a mule, and the mule looking downright pleased.

  246. tallyHO
    February 19th, 2013 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#234):
    “Pices: The freakiest fish porn magazine in the WORLD”?

    I’ll cut him some slack. He’s just keeping it reel.

  247. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    February 19th, 2013 at 6:11 pm [Reply]

    9CL – She is already scraping the bottom of the barrel with “really stinky” in panel 1, how badly is she reaching by the time she gets home? And she isn’t even sticking to a theme – do they smell bad, are they primitive, are they cruel? All of the above? Just throwing out a jumbled list of “bad things to call a member of the lower classes” does not come with a very high degree of difficulty.

  248. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    February 19th, 2013 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#246):

    People just keep setting them up, and you just keep reeling them in!

  249. Majicou
    February 19th, 2013 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#247): She’s saving the most vile insult for last: “…and they AREN’T EVEN ARTISTS!”

    // Yes, I know this character is a veterinarian. Everyone in Brooke’s world recognizes that Pure Art is the only worthy calling for any human being.

  250. Peanut Gallery
    February 19th, 2013 at 6:19 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#224): Those are some great Lego pictures! But what was that actual aircraft carrier doing in there? Oh, wait…

  251. Mr. O’Malley
    February 19th, 2013 at 6:19 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#97): Have you read the unexpurgated version of the Thousand and One Nights? It’s not all about seductresses who convince their would-be lovers to paint their manly parts bright red and just as they think they’re getting somewhere, use a secret trapdoor to dump them naked into a crowded marketplace. But it’s partly about that.

  252. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 19th, 2013 at 6:22 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#219): @Nehemiah Scudder (#216): Headline: CRAZED EGRET POKES HOLE IN MAN’S FOREHEAD!

    Follow-up headline:

    MAN VISITING SOUTHERN PART OF STATE VICTIM OF FOWL PLAY!

    Called to the scene of Tuesday’s savage bird attack, Doc “Yak” Davis tells the injured man to take two aspirin and call him in the morning…

  253. Thibault
    February 19th, 2013 at 6:32 pm [Reply]

    All:
    Over the past few years of following this here blog I have found myself not getting all the side-splitting humor because I didn’t follow all the comics. As such, I have added Mark Trail, Mary Worth and Judge Parker to my daily comics feeds. (The latter, not so much for the humor, as for the lovingly rendered boobage.) Just yesterday, I decided I should also add Rex Morgan, MD and, lo! The first panel of the first day…I’m…I’m speechless!…I’m at a loss for…

  254. Peanut Gallery
    February 19th, 2013 at 6:33 pm [Reply]

    @Sgt. Stoned (#243): “Who steals my identity, steals trash.” — Albert Camus [citation needed]

  255. ralph
    February 19th, 2013 at 6:42 pm [Reply]

    Okeyfine. I’ve read the comments and discovered that there apparently are people who do read 9CL. Like Holmes, I will try to forget this useless and rather disturbing information. So this hitting with bats thing is about cows? I wouldn’t get into this but I used to raise cows myself, and can confidantly say that about 99.99% of a cow’s life on a traditional farm is about as good as a domestic animal’s life is gonna get. In the end they die, as do we all. If you want a crusade over factory farms be my guest. I’m tempted to comment further, but I think my comments would run up against Josh’s rules on politics. And yes, people who “work” large animals use some sort of stick. I’ve never encountered a farmer or stockman who beat on an animal for entertainment, though I’m sure they exist. Plenty of people who wouldn’t recognize a cow if they saw one like to beat on anything in reach, especially other people.

  256. Poteet
    February 19th, 2013 at 6:49 pm [Reply]

    9CL — This whole cruelty-to-cattle theme would have made more sense if the incident had taken place in a shady slaughterhouse, which is where most of the disturbing undercover cattle-cruelty videos have been coming from. But that would probably have required one of Brooke’s delectable heroines to work in a shady slaughterhouse for awhile, and we couldn’t have that.

  257. Mr. O’Malley
    February 19th, 2013 at 6:57 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#68): Some ideas about what “screw thee up a peg” really means…

    In the days when more than one person shared a drinking vessel, they used to put pegs in the side to ensure that each person only drank their fair share. But this was earlier than Tennyson.

    In the days when paper was expensive, one of the ways bars let people run a tab was to use a pegboard to keep track. I think this may be what he means. In other words, start up a tab.

    “I’m putting a peg in it” used to be what bartenders said when they cut you off. I think that means putting a stopper in the barrel. But it’s hard to see how this meaning would apply.

  258. Anonymous
    February 19th, 2013 at 7:14 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#220):

    John has a chance to work with someone famous, and yes Mary is staying behind but that is *by choice*

    Maybe it’s not over. I could easily imagine John Dill calling Mary several times a day seeking validation and platitudes.

    Speaking of which, what is Mary going to do now? While she was so consumed with being assistant cake designer, did she just let “Ask Wendy” languish? I bet those letters from the desperate and lonely have piled up!

  259. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    February 19th, 2013 at 7:15 pm [Reply]

  260. Poteet
    February 19th, 2013 at 7:42 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#258): Given the “Ask Wendy” prose we’ve seen so far, I think Mary donates the letters, unopened, to preschools so the little children can have fun ripping them up.

  261. Poteet
    February 19th, 2013 at 7:52 pm [Reply]

    LUANN — This kind of storyline would never make sense, but it might come just a little closer to making sense if most of the characters weren’t still in high school.

  262. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    February 19th, 2013 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#260):

    Given the “Ask Wendy” prose we’ve seen so far, I think Mary donates the letters, unopened, to preschools so the little children can have fun ripping them up.

    Ah, there is a future for Dawn!

  263. Edith Piaf Camus
    February 19th, 2013 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#216), @Sequitur (#219): I deny all responsibility for the avian attack on Mr. Trail, but I also feel no remorse over it. I have no egrets.

  264. Inexplicable Bear Tongue
    February 19th, 2013 at 8:20 pm [Reply]

    9CL: So an orange turtleneck sweater underneath a magenta pea coat, and this is supposed to be the embodiment of female sexuality. Has anyone checked to see if McE is colorblind?

    Next, he’ll show his divine taste with hint of lime green piping on orange trousers, matched with a purple jumper.

  265. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 19th, 2013 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

    @Edith Piaf Camus (#263): A plague upon you absurd strangers!

  266. Badger3k
    February 19th, 2013 at 8:24 pm [Reply]

    Is it just me, or does it look like that 9 Chickweed Lane woman’s head is going to open up on her hinged jaw? Her mouth looks like a snakes – is she going to swallow her victims whole?

    Yeesh.

  267. tallyHO
    February 19th, 2013 at 8:25 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#258): @Amos Snarkadder, CQB (#259):
    what is Mary going to do now?

    The better question:
    How long does it take for John Dill to sculpt a life-size confectionary Mary?

    Which leads to the question:
    How long before the Real Mary Worth finds the Video Diary Blog that John Dill set up called, “Sweet Mary Hearts Sweet Pickle”?

    Then will Mary flip out when she hears the theme song, which will be an auto-tuned John Dill song?

    Why are there so many
    songs about pink things?
    And, what’s on the
    oooooooooother side?

    “Have you been half asleep
    And have you heard voices
    I’ve heard them calling my name
    Are these the sweet sounds that called
    The young sailors
    I think they’re one and the same
    I’ve heard it too many times to ignore it
    There’s something that I’m supposed to be”–[verbatim from Kermit’s song]

    So that’s why I made a Mary Confection
    For lovers, meddlers and meeeeeeee!

  268. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 19th, 2013 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#258): While she was so consumed with being assistant cake designer, did she just let “Ask Wendy” languish? I bet those letters from the desperate and lonely have piled up!

    Given that what we have seen of Mary’s “Ask Wendy” work consists of vague platitudes, her duties as an agony aunt probably don’t take up too much of her time. Skim letter, reply with platitude or two cut and pasted from her database, add random bogus quote from brainyquotes, and she’s done. She probably knocks off her Wendy Work before she finishes her breakfast coffee & salmon square.

    // I’m surprised the Santa Royale Pennypincher hasn’t hired the local community college programming instructor to automate the whole process for them. Remember how the Eliza program decimated the psychology industry back in the eighties?

  269. tallyHO
    February 19th, 2013 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#267):

    Aw, c’mon!
    I’m just talkin’ ‘bout Dill!

    //the quoted stanza in that “song” are actual supposedly actual lyrics from “Rainbow Connection”, the song being lampooned.
    ///it “sounds” kah-ray-zee! Why, Kermit, Why?

  270. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 19th, 2013 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#122): I’ll be immersed in freshman prose much of this week, so I could use some doggie smiles! (And I’d like some corgi pj’s for Christmas, please.)

  271. tallyHO
    February 19th, 2013 at 8:41 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#268):
    agony aunt
    Is that a real thing?

    I heard of Agon nieces….or was that Agonistes?

  272. seismic-2
    February 19th, 2013 at 8:50 pm [Reply]

    And speaking of columnists for the Santa Royale Free Advertiser and Puppy Toilet, is Wilbur Weston still writing “I Shouldn’t Be Alive!”? I would think that only two or three installments should suffice for the readership to agree that no, he really shouldn’t be.

  273. commodorejohn
    February 19th, 2013 at 8:53 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#272): But there’s so many reasons he shouldn’t be! They could keep that thing running weekly for years without running out.

  274. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 19th, 2013 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

  275. Mr. O'Malley
    February 19th, 2013 at 9:04 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#272): Maybe he brought a book of history’s greatest close calls and is writing himself into them. This week: My sailors stole and ate the sun-god’s cattle.

  276. Ukulele Ike
    February 19th, 2013 at 9:12 pm [Reply]

    @MySpoonIsTooBig (#5): Sorry, my friend. I searched “Laura” and “Nyro” and found nuttin’.

    Listening to Laura Nyro can put me into a great mood OR a paralytic state of psychosis….”Captain for Dark Mornings” is sex and sweetness and lapping waters….”Gibsom Street” is horror and pain and sorrow….”Sweet Blindness” is sex again, but fun and natural and rural…”Timer” is just fucking brilliant.

  277. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 19th, 2013 at 9:38 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#274): Holy crapping pancakes: that is one ugly baby. (Cute pup, though!)

  278. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 19th, 2013 at 9:46 pm [Reply]

    @Druj Nasu (#56): Wonderful! How did you do that? If you don’t mind… some kind of javascript thing?

  279. Dartpaw86
    February 19th, 2013 at 9:48 pm [Reply]

    You labeled Family Circus but forgot the comic.

  280. Uncle Lumpy
    February 19th, 2013 at 9:50 pm [Reply]

    @Dartpaw86 (#279):

    Yeah, last-minute edit; detagged, thanks.

  281. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 19th, 2013 at 9:55 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#271): I’ve always liked “agony aunt”. I think the term is more common in Britain than the US, though. Google it, and most of the top hits are Brit newspaper references.

  282. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 19th, 2013 at 10:22 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#271): I heard of Agon nieces….or was that Agonistes?

    Do you happen to own a corduroy jacket, with leather patches on the sleeves?

    // No offense, it’s just that I’d like to get one of those, and perhaps you could recommend a vendor.

  283. Zerowolf
    February 19th, 2013 at 10:36 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Well, for one, the cops are in there interviewing her about the charred corpse they found in her closet.

  284. Zerowolf
    February 19th, 2013 at 10:39 pm [Reply]

    @yaoi huntress earth (#4): Every panel of 9CL is really Brooke giving the middle finger to all those he considers beneath his artistic greatness, which is everyone.

  285. tallyHO
    February 19th, 2013 at 10:41 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#281):
    I like it.

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#282):

    No. I doubt I ever could pull that look off.

    @Zerowolf (#283):

    Yoiks!
    Totally forgot about that theory. It was never shown that Evan left the apartment.
    That is all kinds of creepy.

  286. Alison
    February 19th, 2013 at 11:00 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#271): @Nehemiah Scudder (#281):

    Yeah, “Agony aunt” is a British term for an advice columnist, usually in a magazine. There are a ton of chick-lit books about women who work at magazines, and if the book comes from the U.K. it seems they are always agony aunts. “Jess works as an agony aunt, yet she just can’t seem to solve her *own* problems! Ha ha, isn’t that zany?” seems to be a popular theme. I don’t know how common agony aunts actually are in the U.K. by if you’re judging by the number of books about them, there must be millions of ‘em.

    I personally would not bother writing to an advice columnist when I can ask a question on the Internet and get almost immediate results. Yes, you get a lot of responses from trolls on the Internet, but frankly I’d take comments like “LOL u r stupid” over advice from Mary Worth any day.

  287. Mr. O’Malley
    February 19th, 2013 at 11:16 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#286): Or you could listen to John Prine sing Dear Abby. It’s just as good and it’s Camus-free.

  288. Mr. O’Malley
    February 19th, 2013 at 11:18 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#287): For some strange reason the URL didn’t got into the clipboard. Let me try that again.

    @Alison (#286): Or you could listen to John Prine sing Dear Abby. It’s just as good and it’s Camus-free.

  289. Mr. O’Malley
    February 19th, 2013 at 11:24 pm [Reply]

    @Ukulele Ike (#276): @MySpoonIsTooBig (#Y132):

    Well, our local library doesn’t have a copy of that biography. I may have to look for a used copy online.

  290. pepperjackcandy
    February 19th, 2013 at 11:30 pm [Reply]

    That Rexifier may be the most awesome thing I’ve seen all day.

    Or maybe it’s second to that photograph of the medieval book with the cat footprints across it that’s making the rounds on Facebook.

    It’s a close call.

  291. Any Self-respecting Time Lord
    February 20th, 2013 at 12:05 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#282): Do you happen to own a corduroy jacket, with leather patches on the sleeves?

    // No offense, it’s just that I’d like to get one of those, and perhaps you could recommend a vendor.

    Corduroy??? Tweed, man, tweed!!!

  292. Poteet
    February 20th, 2013 at 12:12 am [Reply]

    MT — “I told Trail the bubbles are snapping turtle farts, so he’s going to write a sidebar about Chelydra flatulence. I wanted to tell him they were water-fairy farts and I think he would have bought it, but why push our luck.”

  293. Poteet
    February 20th, 2013 at 12:17 am [Reply]

    MW — Geez, Mary, you’re starting to remind me of Rose Maybud. Marry Jeff and get yourself off the market already.

  294. Poteet
    February 20th, 2013 at 12:41 am [Reply]

    RMMD — Honey, I’m sorry, but that’s life. Some of us get to bear the doctor’s children and some of us get the broken showers and exploding cans of beer.

  295. Gladly, the cross-eyed bear
    February 20th, 2013 at 12:44 am [Reply]

    JP: “Then she started to tell me how sad it made her that her dad was dying, and I’m like ‘Hey, I listen to people’s sad stories all goddamn day! I get it, he’s dying! Enough, for Christ’s sake! I’m trying to enjoy this Merlot!”

  296. Dave Dahl
    February 20th, 2013 at 12:58 am [Reply]

    Wednesday’s MW – Did John just say Mary’s got the best behind? How ungentlemanly !!

    And what’s he doing to his head ???

  297. Inexplicable Bear Tongue
    February 20th, 2013 at 1:31 am [Reply]

    Luann: You know, I’m beginning to feel a little bit sorry for Tiffany. How desperate must she be for human companionship and friendship if she’s going to these lengths to hook up with a guy who moved 8000 miles away, and who never showed any interest in her when he lived down the street? How desolate and sad must her social life be for her to think this was her best option?

    But of course we know that this whole thing was done because Greg Evans regrets his impulsive decision that sent Quill back to Australia. So now he’s trying to not look stupid for that decision by trying to keep Quill and Luann alive despite Quill living in Australia, since he’s decided can’t go full wishy-washy and bring Quill back permanently.

    Hey Evans, if you’re doing it this way because you think simply bringing Quill back will make you look stupid after you so thoroughly banished him, you’ve wasted your time on this. It wouldn’t be any stupider than this.

  298. Sullu Tac
    February 22nd, 2013 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

    9 Chickweed Lane reminds me of this image: http://i.imgur.com/dH1KMKY.png

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