The Comics Curmudgeon

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The moment so many of you have been waiting for

Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/3/09

HEY EVERYONE JUNE MORGAN IS IN HER BIKINI! HOT! HUBBA HUBBA WOO HOO OK, look. Doubt my credentials as a heterosexual comic-loving man if you must, but I simply cannot get myself worked up over drawings of sexy ladies. I mean, sexy ladies are intriguing to me as a rule, but when it comes to cartoons, it’s hard for me to forget that someone, somewhere, generally a dude, was drawing said sexy lady, and usually thinking, “Hmm, I’ve seen sexy ladies in real life, but with the powers of my artistry, I can add even more sexiness!” Which in practice usually means “I can make her boobs even bigger!”

I don’t pretend to be consistent on this point. For instance, it’s well known that I have certain … feelings for Margo Magee. And Margo is nice enough to look at, but my feelings are primarily driven by the fact that she’s a hilarious, tightly-wound bag of angry crazy, which is the sort of thing I’ve been known to go for in the past. And while Margo’s wonderfully antisocial personality is as much a fictional construct as, say, Abbey Spencer’s ass crack, somehow it’s much harder for me to ignore the artifice involved in the construction of the latter.

And speaking of artifice … I’m not a professional breastologist or anything, but I’m pretty sure that one’s cleavage does not consist of two perfect and slightly separated semi-circles if one’s bosom is the one that God gave you. Having a surgically enhanced cartoon fantasy object strikes me as particularly bizarre and off-putting, to be sure, but what I really want to know is: whose work are we looking at here? Certainly not Rex’s; breast-enhancement surgery can take hours, and that’s much longer than he’d ever want to spend touching a girl’s boobies.

Blondie, 4/3/09

Blondie comments on the current economic crisis: the unemployed masses, their lives destroyed by the decisions of the powerful, weep openly in the street, just outside the fine restaurants where the captains of industry who got us into this mess dine on gourmet foods, served on china plates and fine tablecloths. The workers who are still employed sit by uncomfortably, afraid to protest at the injustice for fear of joining the starving hysterics in the gutter, wracked with shame over their collaboration in their own oppression.

Dennis the Menace, 4/3/09

Hey, Mr. Wilson, it’s the government that publicizes the names and addresses of sex offenders, not the television stations. But I admit that when they ran that picture of your house with the caption “PERVERTS IN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD” as the lead story on the 6 o’clock news, that was a little much.

Pluggers, 4/3/09

You’re a plugger if you euphemistically refer to an anonymous sex party as “league bowling.” (The rest of us call it “book club.”)

This entry was posted on Friday, April 3, 2009 at 02:55 am and is filed under Blondie, Dennis the Menace, Pluggers, Rex Morgan, M.D..

238 responses to “The moment so many of you have been waiting for”

jlp
April 3rd, 2009 at 3:02 am [Reply]

That is one stylin’ black-and-white flat panel TV the Mitchells have there.
BigTed
April 3rd, 2009 at 3:25 am [Reply]

Plugger or not, I think it’s pretty darn impressive if you’re spending late nights bowling at age 75. (And that’s in dog years.)
SayItWithWookies
April 3rd, 2009 at 3:31 am [Reply]

You’re a plugger if you still tell your 95-year-old mother it’s league night when you’re actually picking up your girlfriend and going to the Women’s Air Service Pilots re-enactors meeting.
BigTed
April 3rd, 2009 at 3:41 am [Reply]

Now that June is busting out all over, we can — say, wait a minute, what the heck are you doing with your hands there? That’s downright obscene! You say you touch yourself like that all the time, and your husband never even notices? Somehow, that’s not surprising.
He Brought Queenie Baby Jesus
April 3rd, 2009 at 3:42 am [Reply]

Since Josh brought it up, I just gotta say I find everyone’s thing for Margo a little unsettling. But that might just be because she’s my aunt.
Karmyn
April 3rd, 2009 at 3:42 am [Reply]

Forget June’s breasts. Why is there a minature Harpo Marx at the door? That kid might actually be freakier than Sarah.
Jonathan Bogart
April 3rd, 2009 at 4:25 am [Reply]

Second sentence of the Blondie paragraph: I think you meant to refer to Dagwood as still employed.

Somebody’s gotta be that guy.
Danny Lilithborne
April 3rd, 2009 at 4:34 am [Reply]

lulz mr wilson is old xD
druidbros
April 3rd, 2009 at 5:30 am [Reply]

MW – crap. Mary is being completely ignored in today’s strip (Friday). That will activate her red eyes and super meddlin power. Somebodys gonna pay for this. From Thursdays strip where Mary is asking about Ted and his family now in Fridays strip she just disappears from all time and space. Or maybe Mary had to plug in and recharge at the far wall socket……
True Fable
April 3rd, 2009 at 5:34 am [Reply]

It is because of just that very idealized image of June Morgan, that certain Curmudgeons among us (and we know who we are) celebrate today’s Boobtastic reveal in Rex Morgan, ManD~~Whore~~. Of course we realize it is only an illustrated image before us, but after Mrs. Robinson DeGroot’s bathtub surprise and Blondie Bumstead’s little coy nightie and various poses of Alice Mitchell in oddly tight pants no human could normally breathe in let alone wear, June’s bikini stint is a welcome sight.

Nothing coy about it; no languid legs peeking out from slit skirts; no Foobish gams overpowered by Percheron-grade hips and sagging boobery. No, June’s plastic perkies are just the thing we need to shake us out of our winter doldrums.

I for one have had enough of Cathy in her god-awful pointy-fingered obsession to find the ‘perfect’ bathing suit to wrap around her chunky shapeless body. Of course June’s figure is idealized and YES, it most certainly is drawn from a man’s fantasy rather than anything achievable in the real world. But we as comics snarkers have campaigned hard for this mega-doze of fanservice and by golly we are going to enjoy it!
Rubrick
April 3rd, 2009 at 5:40 am [Reply]

Jonathan: See, if you’d just waited a bit, I’d have been that guy, and you’d have been spared the embarassment.
farfaraway
April 3rd, 2009 at 5:44 am [Reply]

Well, men that are actually aroused by drawings of sexy ladies seem to be of the same type that gets excited about naked display dummies. That’s how sexy ladies are drawn like.
True Fable
April 3rd, 2009 at 5:47 am [Reply]

#12 farfaraway – oh well naked display dummies are just Jezebels. Everybody knows that. :P
One-eyed Wolfdog
April 3rd, 2009 at 5:54 am [Reply]

I hope MT continues to seamlessly integrate modern technology into its future plot lines. “Rusty! How many times have I told you to put your mp3s back in their dust jackets when you finish listening to them? Now, go on, do a good job cleaning your room and we can watch some DVDs later, once the tubes in the flatscreen warm up. Oh, by the way, I had a sick elk in the house earlier and I think he ate a couple pages out of your blog.”
Will Rubin
April 3rd, 2009 at 5:58 am [Reply]

You’re a plugger if you still live at home with your 95 year old mom.
fnord3125
April 3rd, 2009 at 6:09 am [Reply]

Josh, can I assume you meant to say that “The workers who are still EMPLOYED sit by uncomfortably”?
gleeb
April 3rd, 2009 at 6:41 am [Reply]

Pluggers…: Use threats of early arrival to keep their elderly parents too scared to leave the corner of the room.

Lio: “Blood drive here”. This sign is not a problem, unless your comic is promoted as wordless.

A3G: I knew Dr. Joe was doing dirty. Now if only Charlie can hold the line, Gary will be able to catch him.

Dick: The hands are still to small and stubby to be plausibly holding cell phones, but they are better. Maybe the new guy’s gradually changing them. Also, B O trolls for a less nasty nickname.

‘bean: Harry Dinkle is very protective of his bad-joke-entitled magnum opus.

Bunny Hoest’s No Exit: Look at all that leg room. They must be in the row with the emergency exit over the wing. That’s a bad idea; anyone can tell you these two would rather just embrace the grim reaper.

Duck: Hamburgers? Brucie’s not even pretending to be relevant any more.

Phantom: Mozz is going to have to do a lot of talking to explain the Ghost-Who-Dives and the Ghost-Who-Has-Two-Kids.

June Morgan, sit up fanatic: Yeah, the boobies are a bit silly, but that waist is lovingly rendered.
Charterstoned
April 3rd, 2009 at 6:43 am [Reply]

RMMD – I am BEGGING someone with HTML powers to put up pictures of Before June (right when Sarah was born, say) and After June, as we [insert Margo finger-quotes] see [end Margo finger-quotes] her today. Believe me, Mudges, it was way more than a mere boob job.
John C Fremont
April 3rd, 2009 at 6:59 am [Reply]

Well I, for one, most certainly can get worked up over drawings of sexy ladies and, well, I am right now. I meam uh, wow! This was so worth it! And I don’t care if there is a shiney Willy two panels away. Wait.

GT – And speaking of drawings of sexy ladies, hello anonymous reporter lady. Love your temple-less glasses. And may I just add, giggity-giggity? Now please make way for my “real media.”
Naked Bunny with a Whip
April 3rd, 2009 at 7:09 am [Reply]

Um, is it True Confessions day? Do I have to tell something uncomfortable about myself?
Ben Ostrowsky
April 3rd, 2009 at 7:18 am [Reply]

Unshelved: Dewey’s suffering at the Mallville Public Library is about to be gruesomely ended as the relentlessly descending border prepares to grind both patron and employee against the floor.
One-eyed Wolfdog
April 3rd, 2009 at 7:30 am [Reply]

Can I just give a nod to this as one of the more creative visuals I’ve seen lately? Nice use of the Sunday space and soooo much better than the ‘characters stand motionless in front of an unornamented gradient fill’ style.
Little Guy
April 3rd, 2009 at 7:31 am [Reply]

Candorville: “Mungeon keeps hitting me with ‘Wrap It Up Box’. Must be a Chappelle fan.”

MT: Dumbest Crooks EVER!

RMMD: Hey! It’s Jimmy Feldman from the “Bad News Bear—-”

{Looks at Panel 1}

0_0

Uh…. what was I saying?
One-eyed Wolfdog
April 3rd, 2009 at 7:37 am [Reply]

Oh, bite me. Here is the Deflocked strip I meant to link to in #22.
Ben
April 3rd, 2009 at 7:50 am [Reply]

#24 – Calvin & Hobbes (and maybe even Zits) has done that sort of flow before, as well. And hey, isn’t that Calvin near the center of the vortex?
Chyron HR
April 3rd, 2009 at 7:50 am [Reply]

Well, ooh-laa-laa. Mssr. Fancy-Pants Joshreads thnks he’s too good to spank it to a cartoon character on the funny pages right next to the Family Circus and Snuffy Smith. I suppose next he’ll be telling us that he doesn’t “find” tentacle rape “arousing”.
Other Sally
April 3rd, 2009 at 7:56 am [Reply]

Honestly, I don’t find June’s breasts all that anatomically impossible. One, if the halter top is tied tight so as to provide a lot of support (and possibly has internal structure) and June’s naturally perky anyway, it seems possible. It’s not a perfect rendering, sure, a bit more spherical than needed, but it’s not totally crazy.

http://shinymedia.headshift.com/images/photos/uncategorized/bikini.jpg
One-eyed Wolfdog
April 3rd, 2009 at 7:58 am [Reply]

#25 – Yeah! Among modern syndicated comics, C&H was peerless for visual interest. And the art in Zits is rarely lazely and frequently excellent (too bad how often it thoroughly outclasses the writing).
Pozzo
April 3rd, 2009 at 8:00 am [Reply]

Actually, I think in this case, “league bowling night” is a euphemism of “Friends of Sappho meeting.”
dyslexic dog
April 3rd, 2009 at 8:01 am [Reply]

#27 — Other Sally:

Isn’t that Robert Vesco in the background behind Halle? I’m afraid we will have to confiscate your memory chip, young lady.
One-eyed Wolfdog
April 3rd, 2009 at 8:02 am [Reply]

(Oh, and is Josh perhaps just a wee bit trying to have things both ways? …he seems as gleeful as anyone about egging the soap strip artists on to their magnificently rounded excesses, but “Oh mercy me I don’t find any of this attractive, no sir.”)
danzig
April 3rd, 2009 at 8:06 am [Reply]

WOW!!! June has a little “factory air” goin’ on. That is just hot.
One-eyed Wolfdog
April 3rd, 2009 at 8:08 am [Reply]

(”Lazely”? My typing is rarely accuaterly and frequently error-rideled!)
True Fable
April 3rd, 2009 at 8:16 am [Reply]

#33 One-eyed Wolfdog – Well, I said “mega-doze” earlier instead of “mega-dose” so join the croud.

crowd.

shit, whatev.
Ben
April 3rd, 2009 at 8:25 am [Reply]

Wolfdog – I agree. I own the first Zits treasury, Enormous Zits, and it’s great because you see the initial roughness of the early strips before it was all slicked up, and by the end of the book there are some great visuals going on, and the storylines hadn’t gotten repetitive yet. The writing was actually good.

It’s sad to look at strips like that and Get Fuzzy (Which i own the first 6 books of, and I thought was hilarious and insanely well-drawn) and wonder where the magic went to after just a couple of years. I honestly used to think it was a changing of the guard of sorts on the comics page, but even the strips I used to love for their groundbreaking-ness are approaching Blondie territory, rather than being the next Larson/Watterson, and I can’t bring myself to get any of the newer books, for fear of ruining it further in my mind.
Jamus The Bartender
April 3rd, 2009 at 8:28 am [Reply]

Yeah, yeah, June Morgan looks pretty hot and all, but did anyone else notice Reggie Mantle over in Archie wearing a death card on his sweater this morning?
Charlene
April 3rd, 2009 at 8:28 am [Reply]

#17, you don’t get a waist like that just from situps, sorry. You get a waist like that from having a high rib cage and a low pelvis.

You can exercise all you want and be insanely fit, but without the genes you aren’t getting a waist like that.
schlimmerkerl
April 3rd, 2009 at 8:37 am [Reply]

Last night, i ate dinner in a NY bistro, so the next table was pretty close. I couldn’t help overhearing one of the guys next to me complain to his friend that even though they were way over 30, when he and his wife had to live with his parents for a while while they (the couple) searched for a place to live, the parents said “Be sure to be home before 11″!

Just like my parents when we had to live with them for a month
tbiggs
April 3rd, 2009 at 8:58 am [Reply]

#34 True Fable – I think ‘mega-doze’ is a wonderful neologism. It can be applied to any A3G storyline involving Tommie, and many other places.
Ignatz
April 3rd, 2009 at 9:10 am [Reply]

Dick Tracy:
“B.O. and Gertie could be in danger – I can’t wait.”

The rest of us anticipate their coming suffering and demise with joy, too, Dick.
krazykat
April 3rd, 2009 at 9:14 am [Reply]

I see Rex Morgan MD playing out just liek The Shining except on the ocean.
krazykat
April 3rd, 2009 at 9:15 am [Reply]

Also, June is HAWT!
ChattyGenes
April 3rd, 2009 at 9:18 am [Reply]

#38 schlimmerkerl. When we visit my folks in the U.S. and stay with them for a month or so, my mom gets REALLY mad when we (Mr. CG, me, and our two daughters in their early twenties) come in past a certain time (okay, past 10:30, which is their bedtime). It’s because they are light sleepers and no matter how quiet we are when we come in, we disturb them.

It’s their house; they make the rules. We have to go by them.

Not much fun, but that’s the way it is.
Muffaroo
April 3rd, 2009 at 9:21 am [Reply]

Archie – Reggie’s bucking for a spot in the army of Dick Tracy villains. He must be despondent over something.

FCircus – When you play, Billy, it’s the audience that goes to “Z.”

FBasset – Once again, it takes Fred three panels to present the first panel of a comic strip. I sometimes wonder what the rest of the strip might be like, particularly the hypothetical punch line in panels six, seven, and eight.

HtHorrible – Ha ha. Sarge’s dog dresses just like him. I mean Hagar’s dog. Same goddamn joke. Wait, what’s the word for something that’s like a joke only smaller and less funny? Only not quite as tiny and unfunny as naming the dog “Snert” and the duck “Kvack”?

Wait, I just remembered: who cares?

MFmore – This is relevant because Mallard’s the greasy, nutrition-free slider of political cartoons.

MTrail – The reason Bald Guy doesn’t want those pictures printed is that Rusty has not only captured his bad side, but he caught the moment when Not Bald Guy was putting his moistened index finger in his ear. Some of the money was probably put up by the restaurant, which would be embarrassed by the revelation that the napkin dispenser at table six was allowed to run out at lunchtime.

Mduke – “I thought I told you to soundproof the gas chamber.”

Momma – “How can I prove I am smart??” “Stop wearing a sauce pan on your head.”

Monty – The execution is good, but I still have to point out that this is basically a rehash of Thor sending love messages with the bird (who mistakenly delivers them all, paraphrased, to the “Fat Broad”).

1BHappy – Now I’m going to spend all morning feeling sorry for an imaginary kid.

RMMD – Yowsah! Will Mrs. Dr. Morgan please report to the ship’s trampoline! Half the mudges will be looking around for sticks to bite in two.

R=R – God damn it, misspelling words phonetically serves no god-damned purpose in the world except to piss me off!

6Chix – A funny one, and it’s not even by Rene Piccolo.

SFox – How to draw a coyote. First draw half the coyote. Then three quarters of it. Then finish drawing the coyote. There; you’ve drawn a coyote.

Next: how to build a suspension bridge.

Ziggy – “I’m sorry, I can’t possibly help a disgusting freak like you.”

jlp @1 – You’re right about the black-and-white flat panel TV. What really makes it for me is the scan lines behind the announcer. Come back at 11:30 pm and see if the station signs off and shows the test card with the Indian chief on it.

gleeb @17 – Mozz is going to have to do a lot of talking to explain… the Ghost-Who-Has-Two-Kids. “And those kids? They’re like 150 years old! Seriously!”
Matthew
April 3rd, 2009 at 9:22 am [Reply]

#35 “… rather than being the next Larson/Watterson …” Okay, I’m just gonna go ahead and trample this sacred cow and come out of the closet. Watterson is WAY overrated. I loved C&H, it was a great strip, but it recycled and recycled and recycled. It had a few gems, and the rest was funny the first half-dozen times but got old. The artwork was great, though!

There, I said it and I stand by it.
Dragon of Life
April 3rd, 2009 at 9:31 am [Reply]

My feed generator promised me the moment so many of us have been waiting for, and… I knew better, but I’m ashamed to admit I got my hopes up. What would it be, I wondered, as the page loaded. Blondie castrates Dagwood openly? Funky’s silhouette swings gently side-to-side as it dangles from a rope? Ted Conartist feebly spills his guts due to three words from some old meddling biddy? Sarge goes too far and kills Beetle? Pluggers gives up and admits there’s no actual such thing as a plugger, it’s just a generic word to poke fun at the misery of others? Sally Forth finally features its first in-comic sex scene? On and on the possibilities run, till the page loads, and I find out it’s…. T&A in RMMD. Up next, the moments so many of you have been waiting for: Oxygen is in the earth’s atmosphere! The sky is blue! People enjoy the comics for purely ironic reasons!
Spunky N. Tadpole
April 3rd, 2009 at 9:35 am [Reply]

@ Josh:

Not that we don’t appreciate your sage and considered commentary on comics matters, Josh; but in the case of the long-delayed June-Morgan-in-a-bikini sighting, I really would have left it at HUBBA HUBBA WOO HOO!

What more really need be said?
Sunny Paris
April 3rd, 2009 at 9:36 am [Reply]

#6 Karmyn,

That was my thought too… how can you follow the hyper-real style of nearly-naked June in the first panel to the Anime daughter in the second to the hybrid of Little Orphan Annie and a cabbage patch doll in the third. What IS that? It’s going to be haunting me for days.
fishmorgjp
April 3rd, 2009 at 9:38 am [Reply]

44 Muffaroo: Re HtH… There’s the term “jokoid”: something that has the form of a joke, but is not actually funny.
Sunny Paris
April 3rd, 2009 at 9:38 am [Reply]

Upon further deconstruction, it’s obviously an alien being. The left hand is held up in a semblance of greeting, and the right hand is obviously holding some sort of round translation device that allows the furry headed creature to think “greeting” and it to come out as “Hey!”
Esther Blodgett
April 3rd, 2009 at 9:40 am [Reply]

It’s the end of a long and stressful week, and clearly some of my brain cells have already left for the weekend. I had to stare at RMMD for a long time (not at June, I have enough body image issues without unfavorably comparing myself to a line drawing in a bikini), because what I kept seeing was Sarah leaving the room to change and coming back dressed as Willy. Saw it that way three or four times before I finally realized that Willy was in the room with her. My suspension of disbelief was getting all worked up, like “OK, I can buy that she has boy’s clothes, but where the hell did she get the fright wig?” And of course, “WHY??” Then the disturbing images resolved themselves into Donut Boy and Creepily Pouty-Lipped Sarah, and it all made sense, and I could move on to feeling bad that I don’t have the body of a cartoon character.

As I said, the end of a long, stressful week.
Buckmode
April 3rd, 2009 at 9:44 am [Reply]

“Wear that cute little outfit Heather bought you, honey, it probably has twice as much fabric as this swimsuit I’m wearing.” Now if June would just turn around so we can see if it’s a thong.
Muffaroo
April 3rd, 2009 at 9:56 am [Reply]

fishmorgjp @49 – Indeed, that might be sufficient. I’ve long referred to such things as “joke-shaped.” Around 1980, a friend got me started thinking about it with a brief essay on what he called “humer,” to distinguish it from actual “humor” that was funny on its own terms.

In my comment, I was thinking of the old “Oh, it’s like a penis, only smaller” line. “Oh, it’s like a joke, only nobody laughs.” Also, I wanted to make it clear that there’s a hierarchy of not-funny in Hagar, from the almost-kinda-sorta-funny stuff to the depressing furniture of the strip that someone seems to expect us to find high-larious on a daily basis. “Oh, look! The duck is wearing a helmet too! And they call it Kvack! Because that’s the sound a duck makes, only misspelled to be like Viking talk!! Truly, these are the jests of the gods themselves, before which our own pitiful japes are as tragedy.”
ring around the collar
April 3rd, 2009 at 10:03 am [Reply]

“The workers who are still unemployed sit by uncomfortably” ? I know Dagwood doesn’t actually do much at work, but technically speaking isn’t he still employed?
UncleJeff
April 3rd, 2009 at 10:05 am [Reply]

RMMD: Sorry, Josh. But when I saw that panel of June, I slammed my hand on the table and shouted like Will Smith: “DAMN. NOW, THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKIN’ ABOUT!!!”
UncleJeff
April 3rd, 2009 at 10:06 am [Reply]

Blondie: “Go ahead Mr. Dithers and shoot him. Mr. Cheney will help you get off scot-free.”
migellito
April 3rd, 2009 at 10:09 am [Reply]

mt – Still worried about the deer with a word balloon driven THROUGH ITS SKULL yesterday.
Jesse C
April 3rd, 2009 at 10:14 am [Reply]

Pluggers is perpetuating the myth that all league bowlers are lesbians.
Muddtallica
April 3rd, 2009 at 10:18 am [Reply]

Re: The Adventures of June Morgan’s Boobs (Oh, and Some Gay Doctor Who’s There Occasionally Too) – Meh. She’s no Bonnie.
Brick Bradford
April 3rd, 2009 at 10:18 am [Reply]

RMMD: The next time June’s at the health club she needs to ask her trainer how to work on her inking.

Luann: Gunther was hoping for pity sex and instead he’s getting pity housework.

DT: Apparently we’re getting a crossover appearance by the Royal Flush Gang from Batman.
Dare we hope that Bats and Dick will get together and compare jawlines?

Archie: Can we also hope for an appearance by Reggie in his Death card shirt? Is REGGIE “Big Ace”? The mind boggles.

MT: Nobody talks like that, Mark.
Artist formerly known as Ben
April 3rd, 2009 at 10:27 am [Reply]

RMMD: I agree that June’s cleavage looks rather surgically enhanced. Our little sea urchin doesn’t care, though. He’s just hoping she’s lactating, so he’ll have something to wash down those donuts.

DtM; I think I had something ready to go here, but I can’t outdo Josh.

MF: Spin the talking hamburger into his own strip and you might have something. The camera loves him.

A3G: Dr. Joe Kelly–he of the shrewish and alcoholic ex-wife–is hoping to sabotage the hospital’s computer network in some convoluted scheme to break Tommie up with her tech-nerd boyfriend. As it turns out, even that fails for lack of clearance. If there’s a doctor more delightfully loserish than Taub on House, surely Joe is it.

Crock: Here’s a tip for aspiring cartoonists. If your joke revolves around a soldier hoping to help the straw-fattie across the street, it might be helpful to draw, you know, a street. This lesson is free of charge.

DT: The artistic offenses here are legion. The worst, though, might be B.O. holding up those two giant testicles with dollar signs tattooed on them.

GA: This is so depressing I’m starting to hope that Scancarelli will cut to Slim being an asshole somewhere.

MT: It’s pretty obvious now. Baldy likes it when his friend plays “got your nose” with him, but understandably doesn’t want pictures of it floating around.

M-Dawg: Why is Phil Winslow wearing an assless pair of jeans? Something tells me he’ll regret that fashion choice if Marm breaks down that door.

FB: Fred’s thought balloon in the last panel would have a much funnier meaning in Marmaduke.

Popeye: Presumably what Mama Oyl means is that the implants they plan to buy for their daughter will expand her dating choices.

Phantom: It’s recently occurred to me who the good captain looks like. Cynthia Watros, who played the girlfriends of title characters on Titus and Drew Carey, as well as Libby on Lost. Kind of a strange resemblance for an Indian woman to have. Anyway, Mozz has sure gotten chatty in the hopes of getting in her pants.

9CL: Don’t get too excited over the upcoming girl-on-girl action. It’s just going to be six days of Edda and Isabel’s hands linked in weird shapes.
Hibbleton
April 3rd, 2009 at 10:37 am [Reply]

#61 AFKABM-Dawg: Why is Phil Winslow wearing an assless pair of jeans? Something tells me he’ll regret that fashion choice if Marm breaks down that door.

ROTF, first June, now your comment; this day is turning into good day.
teddytoad
April 3rd, 2009 at 10:38 am [Reply]

This Blondie reminds me of a scene from the muckraking novel The Octopus, where the railroad barons of 1900’s California are dining on fresh asparagus shipped express at enormous cost, while outside, in the cold winter streets of San Francisco, the widow of an immigrant railroad employee starves to death in a series of maudlin-accented exclamations to her little daughter. There. I’ve just written a much better Blondie.
JD
April 3rd, 2009 at 10:38 am [Reply]

BB: A “perk me up”? PERK me up?? Do these guys ever leave the Walker bunker to experience how real people speak? Or has the whole Beetle Bailey franchise been taken over by aliens whose understanding of human behaviour is based on old TV transmissions with garbled audio?
Artist formerly known as Ben
April 3rd, 2009 at 10:38 am [Reply]

#44 Muffaroo

1BHappy – Now I’m going to spend all morning feeling sorry for an imaginary kid.

If you want a real bringdown, I’ve seen the exact same scene playing out in real life. Nor do I think I’m the only one here.
Calvin's Cardboard Box
April 3rd, 2009 at 10:41 am [Reply]

DT – Yup, Gertie, ‘dese be money sacks. Mebbe the dollar signs embossed on the sides could have provided a clue?

I runned across ‘dem whilst they was fallin’ out of the back of a armored car ‘dat Electro was drivin’. Alls I had ta do was collect the sacks, empty ‘em out, dispose of the contents, and I had the perfek receptacles for my winnin’s!
rocketbride
April 3rd, 2009 at 10:44 am [Reply]

38: as another adult who graduated from her parents’ basment 2 years ago this month (yes!), and someone who still puts up with a lot of chastisement and rejoinders that are designed to make me feel about 17 years old, i’m now afraid that the recession will take our pretty independant lifestyles away and thus make us all pluggers. can’t we get a g20 agreement on stopping that particular menace? which stephen harper will then claim to have written? (sorry, little bit of canuck topical humour there. carry on.)
Bryan
April 3rd, 2009 at 10:56 am [Reply]

RMMD: Does anyone remember how long this “Rex Morgan takes a cruise” plotline has been going on? There was the “Rex helps old people get their groove back” yachting diversion, and the “Rex reminds old people to update their inhaler” diversion, so when did the prospect of a cruise first rear its head?

La Cucaracha: I don’t get it. Why does the Wall Street strawman hate the Green Lantern? Especially the John Stewart one. Guy Gardner, I can understand, but John Stewart? Or is he referring to the early 20th century Senator from Vermont? I’m still not seeing the joke.
UncleJeff
April 3rd, 2009 at 10:58 am [Reply]

RM(&June’s boobs), MD — I think I know who “donut boy” is. It’s the son of noted mentalist/cruise ship entertainer Gary Spivey!
tb4000
April 3rd, 2009 at 11:02 am [Reply]

Pluggers: “I bet you still live with yo’ mama.”

“She lives with ME.”
Hank
April 3rd, 2009 at 11:09 am [Reply]

RE: Rex Morgan. Wow, Josh, for a supposedly heterosexual male you sure spent a lot of time writing catty comments about June’s appearance there. Compared to your post Mr. Blackwell and Perez Hilton look like the editors of Maxim.
Muffaroo
April 3rd, 2009 at 11:10 am [Reply]

Apropos of absolutely nothing, this album has the greatest cover version of “Witch Doctor” I have ever heard, with the sounds of psychotic speedfreak chipmunks having sex on nitrous oxide. “Mueve el Dinero” is damn near as good, but lacks even the tenuous connection to comics that a Mexican take on David Seville and the Chipmunks has.

Snuffy says: “It’s bodacious!”
bats :[
April 3rd, 2009 at 11:24 am [Reply]

51. Esther B: wow, it HAS been a long week for you, hasn’t it? Enjoy your weekend…relax! Refresh!
(Yeah, I looked at June a long time, too. Dang.)

68. Bryan: the Morgans’ plane landed in Miami on 23 November 2008 (real-world time), and they were immediately going to the ship. Speculation/hope/votives about seeing June in a bikini most likely swirled around that date (June was telling Sarah about what they could do on the ship, including sunbathing and swimming).

And what would’ve happened if June had come out in a one-piece? Any thoughts that the RMMD team might be watching out for us CCers?
Stij
April 3rd, 2009 at 11:27 am [Reply]

#35: I totally agree. Get Fuzzy and Zits used to show a lot of promise…same with Sherman’s Lagoon, it used to be weird and hilarious. Now they’re all just recycling jokes. Even Pearls Before Swine milks the same gags a little too often…
commodorejohn
April 3rd, 2009 at 11:32 am [Reply]

#10 True Fable – Preach it! I’m sick of all this bunk about cartoon ladies not being attractive. Bah!

#12 farfaraway – Tell us more about this being-aroused-by-mannequins thing you seem to know about ;P

A3G – My God, is Apartment 3-G seriously going to try for a cyber-thriller storyline? Seriously? These people couldn’t make shoplifting look plausible.

DT – Wha…? What is going on in panel three? Brozman is out-Lochering Locher.

GA – JUST END THIS THING ALREADY

GT – Another fine day of Gil Thorp non-sequiturs. Too bad about that black hole forming over the baseball field, though. One poor kid already being sucked into it, and nobody even notices. I guess that’s what happens when you run a large hadron collider in a universe where physics don’t actually work.

JP – I admit that, having grown up home-schooled, I am rather ignorant of junior-high social politics. But I imagine the best way to make friends is not to snipe someone who’s already popular. Even if it does work that way, it’s still a dick move.

Luann – Look, Evans, enough with the pretend lead-ups to sexiness. That’s never going to happen in Luann. You know it and we know it, so stop trying to mislead us, alright?

MF – Screw you, Tinsley, White Castles are awesome.

MT – That’s not a flat-panel monitor. That’s the refrigerator door.

MW – So much for all that talk about the money not being important, eh, Jeff? Just come out and admit that you’re whoring out your daughter to support your pet projects. Maybe you can start an auction.

Phantom – You know, if your secret identity is that easy to figure out, maybe you ought to reconsider the whole “superhero” business.

RMMD – Now, as much as I will stand up for the sexiness of illustrations, I do have to wonder why June is doing the chicken-wing gesture. Also, you’ve got to feel sorry for Willy; a radiant white-’fro is nearly as embarassing as a superpower as the ability to talk to fish.
Bitter Scribe
April 3rd, 2009 at 11:39 am [Reply]

I don’t think the guy who’s crying in Blondie is in the street. I think he’s in the restaurant. Even someone as irascible as Dithers wouldn’t be bothered by what he thought was a crying baby in the street, because the kid would be carried away within seconds.

On the other hand, if you’re fired, would your first move be to dine in the type of fancy restaurant frequented by your ex-boss and his favorite syncophant/punching bag? And if you did find yourself in the same place with your ex-boss for some reason, wouldn’t you confront him personally to 1) beg for your job back or 2) stab him with a fork?

I better get back to work now.
John C Fremont
April 3rd, 2009 at 11:41 am [Reply]

I appreciate the fact that young Willy is carrying one of his trademarked donuts, but given the jokes that have been made about his name, that might actually be something much less wholesome in his hand.
Izzy
April 3rd, 2009 at 11:42 am [Reply]

I wish more Orthodox icons painted their subjects holding a lil’ donut. Oh, and St. Peter would look much cuter with a blonde afro.
Joe Blevins
April 3rd, 2009 at 11:45 am [Reply]

Damn you, Rex Morgan, MD! You give us a nearly-naked June and then almost immediately counteract that with a dwarfish Art Garfunkel/Harpo Marx clone. I want to stare at June’s chestal goodness, but my eyes are drawn away by the freakishly-coiffed homunculus! AAARRGGHHH!!!!!
David
April 3rd, 2009 at 11:47 am [Reply]

June Morgan is HOT. Biblically speaking, looking at a woman with lust is the same as adultery. Does this mean I’ve had sex with a cartoon character?
nerowolfgal
April 3rd, 2009 at 11:47 am [Reply]

RMMD – For those who say June’s body isn’t possible, take a look at Shakira! Except of course June has legs longer than a giraffe. So now we know, while Rex is off ignoring June, she’s practicing “Hips Don’t Lie” at the local nightclubs.
One-eyed Wolfdog
April 3rd, 2009 at 11:51 am [Reply]

#77 – You think it’s…. a cruller?
Esther Blodgett
April 3rd, 2009 at 11:55 am [Reply]

Thanks, bats :[ . Think I’ll kick back and have some Willy brand donuts this weekend. :)
Mibbitmaker
April 3rd, 2009 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

RMMD: That’s the “chubby” li’l boy they were talking about before?? There’s nothing “chubby” about him. It’s like this strip has annorexia or something. Oh, right — he’s always holding a donut! The international sign for “fat guy” …or “policeman”. Yeah, he a real balloon!

And I’ll join in defending the enjoyment of sexy, sexy June. It’s not like anyone’s actually using her to supplant the actual sight or contact with an actual woman or anything.

Then again, this is the internet…….
Captain Thunder
April 3rd, 2009 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

Today’s Rex Morgan depicts June’s latest attempt to get transferred to Judge Parker, where the men are just as sexless as her husband, but are considerably less assholish.
aloha_breeze
April 3rd, 2009 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

News for Pluggers/Shoe lovers: Gary Brookins was the editorial cartoonist for the Richmond Times-Dispatch since 1979; he was laid-off by the paper this week, along with 28 others…
bats :[
April 3rd, 2009 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

78. Izzy: this isn’t my artwork (alas!), and it’s not a donut, but a fine bakery product is a fine bakery product:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/3409004429/
UncleJeff
April 3rd, 2009 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

86 aloha_breeze: Thanks for the information.
Sorry to hear about that.
I know we all make jokes about “Pluggers” but there is a definite style to the artwork that is instantly recognizable and Brookins has always been a strong editorial cartoonist (sorta like Dick Locher in his younger days).
The local editorial cartoonist is a dying breed.
In my area, the St. Paul paper got rid of a very good young cartoonist (probably too liberal for the new owners) and the Minneapolis paper has offered a buyout to the excellent Steve Sack but so far, he’s turned it down.
Alan's Addiction
April 3rd, 2009 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

Today’s Rex Morgan is a little strange. In my experience, parents who demand that their children wear a certain outfit usually have it completely coordinated, almost to the underwear. That means that the command usually comes as, “Honey, wear this shirt, that skirt, those shoes, these socks, etc.” June’s demand sounds creepily similar to men asking their girlfriends, “Put something on that’ll impress the other guys.”
In Blondie, I’m amazed that Dithers is able to mistake a man’s screams of torment for a “crying baby.” Either it’s been a long, long time since he last saw any expression of human emotion (in the young or old) or he’s been trained in human rights at the Saddam Hussein Finishing School for Amnesty.
In Dennis the Menace, Mr. Wilson doesn’t approve of a free press. After all, that’s what helped topple him from his lofty position in the Third Reich. This only goes to show that Dennis is losing that “Menace” title to his creepy, slightly fascist, old neighbor. Who ever knew that a semi-decrepit old man would be more menacing than a young hellion?
Pluggers, I just can’t believe that freaky, middle-aged, critter people do something as wholesome as bowling. If you want to try for realism, you could have them doing something a little more realistic, like drinking the blood of newborns, or anything else that Lon Chaney demonstrated in his career of portraying critter-people.
Sister Sestina
April 3rd, 2009 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

fishmorgjp @49 , Muffarroo @53 — The term I’ve heard for the near-joke phenomenon is “joke-like substance” as in:

‘Back in the writers’ room, the chick writer suggests that they just insert a “J.L.S.” Innocent little Alan Davis asks what she’s talking about, and she explains that it’s a “Joke-Like Substance,” used by recappers and television writers when they don’t have an actual joke to tell.’ (from website Television Without Pity)
Mibbitmaker
April 3rd, 2009 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

A3G: I can’t wait for them to pan over to Rod Serling for the introductory monologue.

BC: Pun: Not good enough to warrant being in a comic strip; not bad enough to inspire that facial expression.

Curtis: ha. ha. ha. Females are so inscrutable. ha. ha. ha.

DT: “B.O. and Gertie could be in danger! I can’t wait — this is gonna be SO AWESOME!!!…”

ReFOOB: panels 1 & 3: That is NOT Ellie. Panel 4: Now that’s Ellie.

FW, tomorrow: “…I hate to have to tell you this, but the entire band quit band.”

GA: Nausea-inducing bathos for a couple days, followed up today by Batiuk-style depression. Forget the box, send Gasoline Alley to the dump.

GF: Looks like really young Robert Mitchum and his now-partner, comedian Jim Norton, are losing the will to live. Get out while you still can, fellahs!

GT: “And who are the new media?” Well, there’s Alvin Brickrock, Pete Catina, Sam Jones, Ellie McBroughtton, Chevy Winthrop, Ringo Malini, Melvin Cowznofsky, Joe Blow, Kim Jeters, Michelle McMack, Brad Huleyhu, McHugh Brickley, Mickey Bitsko, Sam “The Sham” Cowalski, Mel Haney, Steve Beshakas, Chip Whitley, Guido Notinrexmorganstrip, Margo MacKnee, Elwood Blues, Phil Hahn, Jack Hanrahan, Ivana Holdyorhan, Marco Bandwidth, Rosie Whakjobb, Sunny Tufts, Bertran Erny, Cookie Monsteur, Elaine Boozitupp, Joe McNoe….”
The Blunchblack of Blotre Blame
April 3rd, 2009 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

FBFW: “Gee, honey! You look like a whore!”

I know June’s rockin’ the cleave today, people, but how do we get 90 comments deep without this gettin’ mentioned?
kingklash
April 3rd, 2009 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

Book Club? Bowling? C’mon now, you know that for fits and giggles, you call it “Poke-Her” Night.
Chyron HR
April 3rd, 2009 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

#92 Blunchblack – Actually, we covered that in the comment thread for September 29, 1981. I think Compuserve may still have it archived.
Mibbitmaker
April 3rd, 2009 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

JP: Mercenary, thy name is Sophie.

Popeye: Olive needs money to gain a boyfriend that doesn’t look like Popeye? No, she doesn’t. That’s what Bluto/Brutus/Bruto/Blutus is for.

PC: So why doesn’t vulture boy devour rap and “reality” shows while he’s at it?

Ziggy: With NO PANTS??!? Ewwww!
cappadocius
April 3rd, 2009 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

#6 – It’s the kid in the far upper left of this picture:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v229/JonasAlbrecht/1238756036476.png

He heard there was a MILF in the neighborhood, so he thought he’d stop by.
One-eyed Wolfdog
April 3rd, 2009 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

#96 – Holy crap, that’s an amazing picture. What’s the source, who’s the artist?
Immense Failure
April 3rd, 2009 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

My biggest concern is not why there’s a man crying in the street, but why Dagwood is being dined by his boss. Now all the visits, the nagging, the sneaking up on him in the bathroom become clear. Dagwood is Dither’s love slave; forced to pretend to enjoy his company or be thrown out into the cold with the other weeping castoffs who denied his advanced.
gnome de blog
April 3rd, 2009 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

Pope Josh said:

but my feelings are primarily driven by the fact that she’s a hilarious, tightly-wound bag of angry crazy, which is the sort of thing I’ve been known to go for in the past.

Does the missus know about this?

Oh, and unlike the Bible, June Morgan is not meant to be taken literally. Let us just suspend the disbelief a little, and enjoy.
Confused
April 3rd, 2009 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

9CL: Wait, wait, wait… Isn’t Isabel supposed to be in Belgium now? We did leave Belgium, didn’t we?
Artist formerly known as Ben
April 3rd, 2009 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

#92 Blunchback,
I didn’t mention it because I didn’t see FOOB today until I sat down to lunch with the Boston Globe. Elly is looking pretty gorgeous today, but what are we supposed to get out of John’s last word? I guess it’s a tad late for couple’s therapy, but Lynn should maybe talk to someone who gets paid to listen to this stuff.

Oh, today’s Curtis was pretty funny, a propos of nothing.
Mibbitmaker
April 3rd, 2009 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

#91:

GT (continued): “…Red Molocule, Dick MacNamara, ‘Wheezy’ O’Toole, Arch Valynn, Abdullah Katzberg, Alex Troublini, Meg Dinnar, ‘Wrongway’ Magilicully, Melanie Faber, Audrey Farber, Susan Underhill, Betty Jo Biolosky, Nancy Danger, Marcie Patty, and Mark Lioheart.”

“Wow, that’s quite a–”

“Oh, and don’t forget Mel Vynn, Mort Chambers, Diane Howe, Joe Btdkglktbtz, Moe Binn, Larry Shookzi, Errol Entefagin, ‘Tiny’ Jackman, E. ‘Buzz’ Koyolowitcz, Mort Walkdruck, Ren Sliepe, Stimpson J. Balalak, B. Oh, T. Square, Milton Biggwon, I. Tallion Shire, P. Zackadoe, M. ‘Mibbit’ Milkjoke, Jefferey Hardy, Joe Spivy, Leonard Skinner, H. Ross Perusal, Katina Choovansky, Bee Zablooey, Archie Oogly, ‘Dapper’ Dan Uglyclothes, Bea Hunnicutt, Jay Hunnicutt Viktor Davis, Jack Davis, Betty Davis, Bill St.James, Tina Tinytooni, Jack FeDalgo, Sarah Wranrapp….”
David
April 3rd, 2009 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

Are you sure that Blondie is commenting on the current economic crisis and not recycling a strip from the Depression?
Mibbitmaker
April 3rd, 2009 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

#102 (Me):

That should read “Melanie Haber”… but you all knew that. Plus, there should be a comma after “Jay Hunnicutt”.
Cap\'n Crouch (as in Crotchety)
April 3rd, 2009 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

#103 David – I don’t think this strip has anything to do with the current economic situation. Dithers will fire people any time for any reason just for the pure joy of it.
Artist formerly known as Ben
April 3rd, 2009 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

#62 Hibbleton,
Pleased to be of service.
off-model
April 3rd, 2009 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

It looks like RMMD is heading towards a Blue Lagoon storyline.
thurston unger
April 3rd, 2009 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

RMMD: I’m all for seeing June flash some two dimensional skin, but that bikini looks suspiciously like a macrame plant hanger…
Rob
April 3rd, 2009 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

hmmm how would you give Ziggy a wedgie when he doesn’t wear pants, you know what nevermind I don’t want to know,
Crankenstank
April 3rd, 2009 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

RM: What? Nothing about our little stowaway taking advantage of a little Peeping Tom action to finally, um, reveal himself? I mean, what better way to bring the story arc to a climax than to have, er, a climactic convergence of cleavage with exposition. Yay RMD! I’m a fan for life now! Until I actually get a life, I guess…
Global H
April 3rd, 2009 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

#104 Oh. You mean Nancy! Well, she’s in the aviary studying trees. I shall return with her straight away. You may wait here in the sitting room or you can sit here in the waiting room.
Rob
April 3rd, 2009 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

Hi&Lois- Anyone else notice that Hi’s hair goes from normal to a circa 90’s skater kid in the second panel (as well as a clock showing up, can anyone else find the four other diffrences)

Gasoline Alley forgot the punchline so I’ll help, add “just like me” to the end.

Not sure which is more insane in Dick Tracy, the fact that the casino cashes you out by placing your money in sacks with dollar signs on them, or the fact that B.O.s wife is just now realizing that there is money inside of those sacks.
mollificent
April 3rd, 2009 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

#75 commodorejohn, re: RMMD: OMG!! Willy is the son of the Greatest American Hero!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBKqwdxUH8U

Wow. That was one scary flashback. ;)
kkarenb
April 3rd, 2009 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

Pluggers – Bowling? Doesn’t that involve physical activity? Pluggers will sit and watch the same TV channel all evening if they happen to leave the remote across the room.
Dr. Weird
April 3rd, 2009 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

RMMD

Sure, it sounds like a setup for any number of “Dr. Morgan is gay or sexless” jokes, but IS Sarah their biological child? Her eyes seem to indicate she’s of some variety of Asian descent, of which the aggressively whitebread Morgans are not.
Violet
April 3rd, 2009 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

You wouldn’t think the Lockhorns would have the resources to fly first class, but they’ve discovered a loophole: If you travel back in time to the sixties before booking your flight, it’s surprisingly affordable.
Fashion Police
April 3rd, 2009 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

June Morgan looks very nice in a bikini. We’d really be impressed if she looks that good in a dress like Agnes Dunsmore’s.

Equal time, Mr. Nolan. Let us see if Ms. Morgan has class and style to go with her obvious attributes.
Dondi\'s Real Dad
April 3rd, 2009 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

The fact that the colorizers of DtM don’t know that TV is supposed to be in color may be a clue to their location. Uzbekistan? Havana? The Hoboken Holiday Inn?

Also, when the real Harpo turned up in a ocean liner stateroom in A Night at the Opera, classic hilarity ensued. As it has taken Doc Morgan’s Minnie-Harpo three months simply to turn up, I suspect nothing will ensue for another two months, minimum.
Cap'n Crouch (as in Crotchety)
April 3rd, 2009 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

#114 kkarenb – Pluggers will watch a test pattern and like it if they can’t find the remote.
Cap'n Crotch (as in Crotchety)
April 3rd, 2009 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

Damn pluggers. Suckin’ up air that the rest of us need to breathe.
Little Guy
April 3rd, 2009 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

9CL: She not only wants to be invited to the Bachelorette Party, she’s wanting to be the Special Attraction.

JP: “Remember, Sophie, cancer is nothing to laugh about. You have to cut it out and eradicate it from its source. Do you understand? And yes, there is _no_ fighting, in— the—- school—-”
Cranky
April 3rd, 2009 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

If you’re a Plugger and your Mom is 95, you’re 82.
Don Iguan
April 3rd, 2009 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

Maybe your lack of testosterone when faced with the sight of a bikini-clad June Morgan could be the result of The Coolidge Effect caused by Rule Thirty-Four.

Nah, I’ll just go with the easy conclusion and say that I don’t doubt your credentials as a heterosexual comic-lover. A heterosexual comic-lover who apparently likes to receive rough sex from emotionally distant ice queens who laugh at safewords and cries of help.
bitter law student
April 3rd, 2009 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

If even Lord Fotherindale is affected by this recession, none of us are safe.
Dingo
April 3rd, 2009 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

I never suspected Rex Morgan for a gazonga man. With June on top, I can hear him screaming like a little girl while those mammalian Swords of Damocles swing in his face. Better hope for a Cialis-induced four hour erection!
indrifan
April 3rd, 2009 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

Maybe Rex and June’s cruise has gotten to South African waters, where today is “National Cleavage Day”, as sponsored by Wonderbra (as I learned today from the Bloggess).
Dingo
April 3rd, 2009 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

National Cleavage Day? Have Wilford Brimley or Steve Wozniak been informed?
MaryAnnTheRest
April 3rd, 2009 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

Seriously? Nobody thinks June Morgan is wayyy too skinny? She looks like she’s starving. She’s on a cruise fer gawds sake, get her some food!
Old School Allie Cat
April 3rd, 2009 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

Pluggers – Given their poor diets and relatively sedetary lifestyles, I’m amazed that Pluggers can live to be 95.

Also, do I get extra points for knowing where Tullahoma, TN is? It’s right near Bell Buckle and Manchester – in other words, about halfway between Chattanooga and Nashville. I’ll be passing by there tonight en route to Atlanta.

FOOB – If Lynn had kept at the new strips, Elly’s look from today is what Meredith would have looked like at age 11.

Mary Worth – I think it would be hilarious if this guy totally turned out to be on the up and up but Mary’s meddling ruined it for everyone.
gnome de blog
April 3rd, 2009 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

June can eat like a bear in springtime and still keep her figure.
bats :[
April 3rd, 2009 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

An update for 78. Izzy… Okay, I couldn’t leave well enough alone.

In keeping with the last few threads’ ramblings about one’s (Catholic/catechism/parochial school) upbringing, the combination of Donut Willy and iconography gave me several flashbacks to little pieces of art my mom had around the house as I was growing up. They featured paintings of Jesus as a child (I think it was a Renaissance painter, but it might’ve been much later, like someone from the French Academie). Jesus pictures aren’t necessarily a bad thing, only not did the eyes follow you (creepy), but He was depicted with wild frizzy hair, a dark ‘fro (rather similar to mr. bats :[ back in his hirsute youth). (super creepy) Willy’s ‘do elicits the same fascinated horror, lo, after these many years…
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/3409582909/
Cap'n Crotch (as in Crotchety)
April 3rd, 2009 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

If June ate like a bear she’s probably get berry sick. Heh, heh, heh… O crap. I wet myself.
One-eyed Wolfdog
April 3rd, 2009 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

#128 – you may have caught wind of the suprise comix crossover event of the decade, in which Norm Platypus “adopts” June Morgan and, under the guidance of a remote and mysterious Canadian nutrition expert, airmails her packages of backbacon and butter tarts until she swells up to the point where she bursts the frames of her own strip, storms thunderously across the page, devours Cathy alive, and finally makes a cameo as a roly-poly, black-maned water buffalo in a whimsical gout-related Pluggers panel.
Jeff Soesbe (yeff)
April 3rd, 2009 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

It’s definitely a sex party. After all, look at that faux-70s hairpiece on the Plugger.

“Mom, I wear it so no one knows I’m going bald! Leave me alone!”

Now the thing we all wonder about: What’s in the bag?

- yeff
One-eyed Wolfdog
April 3rd, 2009 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

(Meanwhile, Ted’s “I love you” speech balloon, persistently reverberating in the comic spacetime foam, sprouts a statistically improbable but not totally impossible thought bubble depicting Mary, who is questioning Ted’s family status in a speech ballon that is giving birth to a thought bubble in which Ted, speech ballooning into his cellphone says…)
Cap'n Crotch (as in Crotchety)
April 3rd, 2009 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

Fam Cir: Hey, kid! Yeah, you! The Billy kid with the fat face and thumb nubs. There’s more keys than 26. Whatcha gonna call the other ones? Name them after your friends? Oh, yeah, you don’t have enough friends. I bet you name your farts though. Ya call them do re mi fa sol la ti blow! Whoo-ooh! I’m outta here.
Stij
April 3rd, 2009 at 5:49 pm [Reply]

Yesterday’s FW: Um, actually, if the entire piece was written in whole notes, it would completely mess up the meter and OH LORD WHY AM I TAKING FUNKY WINKERBEAN SERIOUSLY
Talking Squirrel
April 3rd, 2009 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

MT: The “new memory card” computer-illiteracy ploy is revealed again as a particularly lame MacGuffin, necessitating a visit to town and its inevitable greasy spoon.

Yet now we witness Mark and Rusty viewing pix from the old card on their ‘puter and printing out the incriminating one — but not having a clue about how to clean off the card.

Given this implausible gap in their tech savvy, we really ought to rename Lost Forest to the Quad-D Ranch: Drag, Drop and Delete, Dummies!

Furthermore, I think it sets a terrible example for America’s children to see a nationally renowned conservationist writer pile the whole gang into the jalopy and traipse off to town in a billow of exhaust fumes, on a totally unnecessary snipe hunt.

But when it comes to clever forensics, let’s not shortchange…

DT: Yes indeed, a certain change is becoming apparent in Dick’s anatomy; no, not that kind of change, but a change that briefly will make it easier for him to hold his cellphone.

I stress “briefly” because as soon as his erstwhile-stubby distal pseudopodia elongate another couple of centimeters, he’ll be ready to mitose. But the world may not be ready for his answer to the question, “Is having two Dicks really as fabulous as it sounds?”
One-eyed Wolfdog
April 3rd, 2009 at 6:36 pm [Reply]

#137 – not necessarily so. Simply take the smallest subdivision of the beat that occurs – in high school band music, probably a 16th note – make that a whole note, and scale everything else accordingly. An 8th note becomes two tied whole notes, a quarter note becomes four tied whole notes, and so on. However, if we imagine the size of a FW panel remaining fixed at, say, one whole note (always the same note, haha), then this scaling is actually great news for Tom Batiuk, because the resulting time dilation will make the next protracted bout with cancer appear to last 16 times as long.
Poteet
April 3rd, 2009 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

# 131 bats —

I think you’re onto something…

http://www.saintmarys.edu/~incandel/Jesus5.GIF

http://www.s-infantjesus.org/images/infant%20head%20profile.png
Talking Squirrel
April 3rd, 2009 at 7:08 pm [Reply]

58 Jesse C: “Pluggers is perpetuating the myth that all league bowlers are lesbians.”

Or as you might say — with a propensity for the 7-10 split.
tb4000
April 3rd, 2009 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

R.Morgan – I’m more of an ass man myself so June’s 1990’s superheroine comic boobs don’t do it for me. She tends to suffer from the ailment known as “Noassatall” so my affections will be for naught.
Izzy
April 3rd, 2009 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

#131 bats – Y-you made me my own icon?! This is the happiest day of my life! (I am so Facebooking that picture.)
Poteet
April 3rd, 2009 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

FW — I suppose this band story is supposed to be a comic contrast to the usual disease and despair and is intended to elicit merry laughter. But since I actually was in a high school band directed by a bad-tempered nasty human being who hurled constant insults, what it elicits from me are thoughts of retroactive homicide.
One-eyed Wolfdog
April 3rd, 2009 at 7:34 pm [Reply]

Ugh, bats, that looks like a Russian trying to transliterate Georgian.
bats :[
April 3rd, 2009 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

140. Poteet: I finally ran across the artist who painted Creepy Little Jesus (He who my mother tormented me with): it was the Spanish artist Bartolome Murillo (17th C.)…lots of religious paintings, many of them finding their way onto Mass cards, Christmas cards, etc., etc. CLJ (aka, “The Good Shepherd”) still spooks me, too!

142. tb4000: while I appreciate learning the technical term for June’s malady, “Noassatall” vaguely rings of the various medications that commercials urge viewers to ask their doctors about. I always wanted to harangue a physician like that: “What about Flonase? Lipotracin? Cialis? Xenostatinol? Noassatall?” (particularly when none of these have any bearing on the appointment).

143. Izzy: go forth and spread the Gospel of sweet, sugary salvation.

145. One-eyed Wolfdog: no, its Cyrillic trying to transliterate Latin (only I realized that William has no Latin root, and none of my Latin sources has a translation for “donut”…go figure. No wonder the Roman Empire fell.).
Annon
April 3rd, 2009 at 7:56 pm [Reply]

#68 – Bryan: The cruise was a week away on Aug. 11, 2008.
RobertHuman
April 3rd, 2009 at 8:02 pm [Reply]

I see that in today’s “Rex Morgan” that June reveals herself as none other than the serial killer Buffalo Bill, trying on a fresh victim’s skin-suit and lip-synching to “Goodbye Horses”. And telling from the last panel her daughter just discovered one of her emaciated victims, desperately attempting escape armed with only a doughnut.
One-eyed Wolfdog
April 3rd, 2009 at 8:18 pm [Reply]

Well, what you’ve arrived at, in perhaps somewhat less than full accord with intentions, is “chimmian vtxufitsptd”, which unquestionably looks like a Russian trying to transliterate Georgian. You may add the rider that both the Russian and the Georgian were drunk at the time, and I wouldn’t argue.

(УИЛЛИАМ for William, I could see, but the second half is really opaque to me.)

(If this sounds like it’s trying to be a picky lecture or complaint of any form, it’s not, believe me, the picture’s hilarious and I’m totally just laughing here.)
Poteet
April 3rd, 2009 at 8:29 pm [Reply]

# 146 bats — I got curious about Murillo and found what’s below. This image, to me, shows more attitude than angelic-ness, not that there’s anything wrong with that. In fact, at the risk of being struck by lightning, I see a touch of young Lord Byron…

http://www.todomonografias.com/images/2006/11/7161.jpg
Poteet
April 3rd, 2009 at 8:32 pm [Reply]

# 146 bats — OOPS. So very, very sorry. I do believe I found the same image that tormented you through your childhood. And I can understand that. He keeps looking, and looking, and looking.

And something about that sheep just isn’t right.
Poteet
April 3rd, 2009 at 8:38 pm [Reply]

# 151 — Now I’m kind of getting the impression that he’s looking in a slightly different direction with each eye. Time for me to stop looking. I see what you mean.
Charterstoned
April 3rd, 2009 at 8:53 pm [Reply]

#131 – Bats – BRILLIANT! but watch out for the lightnin’ bolt. Somebody please clue me in (if it’s worth a line of explanation) as to who that creepy kid with the donut is. I don’t get RMMD anymore unless I go online to find it, and I kind of lost the thread of this story line.

#150 -Poteet, you’re right about the resemblance to Lord Byron! That picture reminds me that I have a whole batch of antique, lace-edged holy cards somewhere that I got when my aunt died (cards, and several tiny vials of ashes and who KNOWS whose relics those are). You’ve inspired me to hunt for them.
Muffaroo
April 3rd, 2009 at 9:22 pm [Reply]

I’m waiting for someone to say, “Jesus! I can’t believe I’ve just spent this long thinking about Bartolomé Esteban Murillo (1617–1682)!”
True Fable
April 3rd, 2009 at 9:23 pm [Reply]

# 150 O Poteet, my queen! – yes, but I’m annoyed that they still insist that sheep go to heaven and goats go to hell.

I’m grumpy about it. See this is just wrong! I mean please; who would turn away a goat who sports her own headset?

/goaty rant
Muffaroo
April 3rd, 2009 at 9:24 pm [Reply]

I have a film can half full of ashes that are a relic of St. Helen — or rather, Mount St. Helens. I was working at the forest service when it went up, and I had the brilliant idea that we probably had colleagues who were right there, and why not ask them to send us some souvenir ashes? So we did, and divided them up, and I still have mine. As you might expect, I take them with me when I move — yessir, I’ve hauled my ashes all over the country!
bats :[
April 3rd, 2009 at 9:36 pm [Reply]

Oh, that ticks me off, too, TF! If Free Will is such a good thing, goats have that in spades…should be the Patron Saints of it!

Yes, Poteet…that is the picture of CLJ. Thanks. Loads. (I think you’re right about the attitude-ness…face it, if you or I looked like that at our mothers, we would’ve got such a smack.)
That sheep is up to something. I think it’s planning to slander some goats.

149. One-eyed Wolf Dog: the moniker should be “William Crustivore.” Since there’s no Latin for “donut,” and “sweet bread eater” was just too long, I settled for “bread eater.” As for the transliteration, this is what you get when you use a Cyrillic font. It could be Throatwarblermangrove, for all I know.

153. Charterstoned: at the beginning of the cruise, Sara saw a little boy hiding in one of the lifeboats. She finally convinced her parents (primarily because an old lush saw the kid, too) that the boy was real, and there’s supposedly a search going on for him. He’s been living in the staff area of the ship, eating pre-packaged donuts ~~and drinking his own urine~~ to survive. Sarah has made contact with him once, and now he’s returning the favor. Not the end. Sigh.
nerowolfgal
April 3rd, 2009 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

Premediated wangbitery and Bartolome Murillo. I love this forum!
M
April 3rd, 2009 at 9:56 pm [Reply]

When is the last time June ate anything? That waistline is bizarrely tiny. Is this the start of an anorexia plotline?
Lord Vetinari
April 3rd, 2009 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

Gunther’s nose irritates me. its like a cross between a badly drawn spiral and a crescent roll, and it grates upon my soul. To be truthful, Luann in general grates upon my soul, which is why i will only say, Evans, that if Luann makes Sally Forth eyes at anyone ever again i shall be extremely annoyed, capisce?

(avoids June Morgan’s boobs very carefully)

I can only agree with Josh that Margo is much more… interesting than any other pretty lady in the comics, possibly because she is also much more insane.
Dagger
April 3rd, 2009 at 10:42 pm [Reply]

Mr. Wilson is right. I guess I did tattle on that murder suspect today…
cj
April 3rd, 2009 at 11:08 pm [Reply]

Re: June Morgan DD
Harpo? Hmmm, my first impression was Garfunkel

Re: Pluggers
wait… pluggers live to 95? Isn’t this in direct violation of Pluggers canon, what with all the pill-popping and clogged arteries and OH MY GOD I CAN’T FEEL ARM!
Karmyn
April 3rd, 2009 at 11:35 pm [Reply]

Yesterday’s RMMD- I wonder what Rex was doing that nobody knew where he was and nobody answered the phone in the infirmary. Tomas couldn’t have gotten there that fast, could he?
Muffaroo
April 4th, 2009 at 12:20 am [Reply]

9CL (Fri) – “Just stiffen and get set for her best shot.” That’s what he said!
Winky's Spleen
April 4th, 2009 at 12:30 am [Reply]

FC – A bit of a novel experience today, in that I merely felt contempt for Billy instead of a deep desire to punch him repeatedly in the face.
Poteet
April 4th, 2009 at 12:42 am [Reply]

# 155 Sir Fable MTK — I share your outrage. The entire tradition of using animals as symbols of human sin really ticks me off. Goats deserve so much better. And don’t get me started about snakes.

# 157 bats — Nice summing up of the Willy story. And his face in the 4/4 strip is positively unnerving. Maybe he really has been drinking his own urine.
Poteet
April 4th, 2009 at 12:48 am [Reply]

4/4 MW — A good, sane idea, supposedly about to be executed. Wow. We must have experienced a temporary shift into another dimension, but it can’t last. Probably it will turn out that Jeff’s plan is to sit Ted down and ask him about himself in a fatherly fashion.
Poteet
April 4th, 2009 at 12:51 am [Reply]

4/4 PHANTOM — “And after centuries of making love, I bet he’s pretty damned good at it. This opportunity must not be allowed to pass!”
Poteet
April 4th, 2009 at 1:00 am [Reply]

4/4 S-M — It shouldn’t be a problem to “stall Electro a little longer” while Spidey tries to come up with a clue, being as how the Mayor has no idea how to get in touch with Electro, who meanwhile has donned a stupid-looking overcoat and is frantically looking for his missing son, the one who left his house for no good reason and ran right in front of a car. One thing I’ll say for this strip is that all the dimwitted denizens deserve each other.
Muffaroo
April 4th, 2009 at 1:20 am [Reply]

I stayed up until 1 watching a movie. Then I had to take a peek at the comics.

A3G – I’ll bet the security guard isn’t really under orders to hump Dr. Kelly. I’ll bet a whole lot.

BBailey – Action is cheap. How about some humor?

C2Home – Another free suggestion: Try to make your speech balloons look different from thought balloons.

DTracy – I really didn’t think Gravel Gertie’s eye-boobs could open any wider.

FCircus – “That’s right, kids. A long time ago, in a medium far, far away, I was PRINCESS LEIA!”

MWorth – “I’m going to do something I should have done earlier …check him out!” Great. Jeff’s going to go case Ted’s butt now.

PCity – Apparently it’s no longer too soon for comic characters to pose as the famous Abu Ghraib “stress position” torture victim.

R=Rose – Even a hail of spermatazoa-like spoons won’t keep this dedicated dimbulb from wetting herself with joy at the sight of a bird with a head larger than the door of its house. Be still, my stomach, be still.

And now it’s bedtime for Muffaroo.
Steve the Pocket
April 4th, 2009 at 1:30 am [Reply]

Wow. I need to start checking this blog earlier in the day in case I missed something epic in the comics I make a point of not reading. Like the premium illustration fail in Rex Morgan. Yyyyyikes. She’s rocking the Ancient Egypt cave painting style, but I doubt that’s what the artist was going for.

Beetle Bailey: The General has finally lost it. He thinks running in place somehow constitutes taking his wife to Paris, and tiring quickly an inability to do so. Stay tuned tomorrow as he gets loaded onto the truck by those nice young men in the clean white coats.

Dennis the Menace: Look, kid, you wanna get shipped off to the Keane Compound? ‘Cuz it looks to me like you’re tryin’ awful hard!
Violet
April 4th, 2009 at 1:32 am [Reply]

I don’t really get why so many posters have appeared so defensive about Josh simply saying he’s not that into illustrated women. He didn’t say it was wrong or anything, just that he prefers real three-dimensional live women. What’s so terrible about that?
Poteet
April 4th, 2009 at 1:51 am [Reply]

4/4 FC — I finally realized what Grandma’s ‘do reminds me of, and since it’s ridiculously late at night anyway, I shall tell the tale and go to bed. Several years ago, there was a national contest to find the local TV news anchor who had the most unusual hair. The two finalists were a news anchor in some large metro area and a news anchor in Iowa. The Iowa guy’s hair was flatter than Grandma’s, but had the same strange rigid-waves design, and his hair was entirely the work of Nature. (As he pointed out, he would never have done that to his own head on purpose.) He lost the contest, probably because the other guy’s station had more viewers who could vote. But I saw both heads of hair, and the Iowa guy should have won.

Grandma, however, might look better with a bun. Good night.
Jeff
April 4th, 2009 at 2:03 am [Reply]

Why are there so many steroid jokes in Heathcliff lately.
Poteet
April 4th, 2009 at 2:05 am [Reply]

# 170 Muffaroo — Your comment inspired me to check R=Rose, which I normally don’t read, and I see that her birdhouse has a perch. Apparently she wants to host house sparrows instead of chickadees, bluebirds, titmice, nuthatches, etc. So be it. I shall return to not reading her strip. G’night, folks.
Cheeky Wee Monkeys
April 4th, 2009 at 2:05 am [Reply]

Mr. Wilson is afraid that BCN will find out when he finally snaps and kills Dennis. And tattle.
Mibbitmaker
April 4th, 2009 at 2:22 am [Reply]

4/4/4/4/4…:

9CL: Now there’s the passive-agressive reaction we all expect from Mme. Burber!

A3G: Is glasses boy trying to subvert Dr. Joe to secure Tommie? Is Joe’s enraged wife doing that? The answer to both these questions will be revealed as: Hmmmmmm… could be!

A3G2: Looks like this soaper is turning into an EC horror comic. Only the font need change…

DtM: He’s not a menace, he’s a special needs kid.

DT:
“Think of it as an AIG bonus.”
“Thanks, I — What…?”

JP: Jeez, Sophie, take that ego down a few hundred notches to a vastly lower level… like Donald Trump level.

MT: Hey, no fair! You peeked ahead in the script!

Big Fur-shlugginer Dog: Marm thinks, “Yeah, but why does the web spell out ‘Charlotte’?”

MW:
Dr. Jeff Corey — Private Dick!
(he’s one in public, too)

OBH: Hey! You! Old guy! Put that bandana back on, MISTER!

Ghost-Whose-Cover-Is-Blown: Mozz really knows how to push her buttons — especially that one on her forehead.

Popeye: Judging from the first 2 panels, Popeye and Castor are real Boodle Book elitists, aren’t they?

RMMD: When Willy’s kin folk play Hide ‘n’Seek, they don’t fool around!

S-M: Rudy Giuliani reads this, then laughs derisively at both of them.

Ziggy: And not for animals without a sense of humor, either. (Maybe they’re watching the horse-in-Wormer’s-office part?)
Baka Gaijin
April 4th, 2009 at 3:33 am [Reply]

Saturday’s Apartment 3-G: Oh, joy. Joe’s overdue on his yearly HIPAA refresher training. Buckle down and do it already. Stop being such a drama queen.
Mr. O'Malley
April 4th, 2009 at 4:08 am [Reply]

MW: Not just any lime-green jacket that doesn’t remotely go with the chain-mail polo shirt … a lime-green jacket that doesn’t remotely go with the chain-mail polo shirt that retains the shape of the wearer when tossed upon the front bench seat of a 1968 Oldsmobile!

A-3g: Well, I’m not going to go back looking for the thread number, but I did call this one correctly!
Simon
April 4th, 2009 at 4:39 am [Reply]

MW: Jeff’s reaction reinforces concerns that meddling is a transmittable disease. Of course even more frightening is the thought it is spread by sexual contact
Piper Grey
April 4th, 2009 at 6:13 am [Reply]

Mary Worth: It makes sense to check up on Ted, but, unfortunately, it means that I am right, the whole story is about to fizzle out. Ted will disappear, having found a better bet from which to get money. Jeff will find all this out and Mary will lecture Adrian about how she should have got to know more about Ted before planning a future with him. Adrian will be go off heartbroken and Mary will smile her little knowing smile…next trainwreck, I mean story, please!

Apartment 3G: OK, I had thought Dr Kelly might have been embezzeling money from the hospital. It explains his actions and those of Gary. Tommie, of course, never picked up on anything. But then, she never does. When it is all finally explained to her, she will stand there, smiling, ‘Dr Kelly was a thief? Gary was the man who caught him?’ Where’s my brush, I need to clean the bathroom.’

Rex Morgan: Sarah’s got into the Morgan family spirit, yes indeed, by sneaking a boy into her room.

Judge Parker: Sophie has all the makings of a Dixie Julep.
Charterstoned
April 4th, 2009 at 7:00 am [Reply]

#157 Bats – Thanks for the Cliff Notes version of RMMD–now I think I could pass the quiz if I had to! And at least this explains that nimbus of shock and awe lines around the kid’s head. The first time I read the strip I thought it was decidedly anticlimactic, even though it looked from the drawing like a cliffhanger of some sort. But then I remembered that all soaps invest EVERY visitor and phone call with emotional significance and heavy portent–there probably would have been a lot of serious organ music played in the 3rd panel (all in minor chords) if this were on daytime TV. Thanks for providing “the important filler” part.
One-eyed Wolfdog
April 4th, 2009 at 8:15 am [Reply]

NS: The existence of visible badly-behaved children does not contradict or invalidate the claim that well-behaved children are invisible. Please retake Logic 101. Also please choke on a fish bone.
One-eyed Wolfdog
April 4th, 2009 at 8:26 am [Reply]

Argh!!! Does not validate the claim. Heavens to betsy. I’m off to eat some fish and sob.
One-eyed Wolfdog
April 4th, 2009 at 8:52 am [Reply]

WoI: When you ask for “Scotch, neat”, the bartender does not ask what “neat” means. There is only one thing it can mean in that context. It is not ambiguous. Willfully misunderstanding this does not lead to humor. Still, if you’ve expended 10 minutes of irrecoverable scrawl on the first two panels and feel you’re totally committed to that path, there are still options:

–Scotch, neat.
–You mean, no ice?
–I mean put some scotch in a glass and fork it over before I throttle you with your own bow tie, torch your filthy pestilent sawdust-floored vermin-hole establishment and have my way with your woman, fool’s cap bells going jingle-jingle-jingle all the while.

There, see how much better? Or you could, if you’re willing to retool things a bit more, try the patented Stephen Bentley approach:

–Beverage, prepared in a certain way.
–You mean, prepared in the way that your request would universally, invariably be interpreted to mean?
–Yes, that is what I mean. Say, Jamaal! You sure are looking bald today!
Talking Squirrel
April 4th, 2009 at 9:16 am [Reply]

RM: Somewhere in Alaska, NORAD is missing a couple of radomes.
Mibbitmaker
April 4th, 2009 at 9:42 am [Reply]

#181 (Piper Grey), JP: Dixie Julep? Hell, Sophie has all the makings of a Hugh Avery (gender aside).
buckyswife
April 4th, 2009 at 10:01 am [Reply]

A3G: What can you do, Dr. Kelly? What can you do? Well, first of all, you can readjust your steering well out of the “I’m playing bus driver” position.

FC: Each little melonhead is thinking, “Oh, Grandma’s babbling again like the crazy, boring old coot she is. Let’s keep smiling, and she’ll give us some candy.”

SM: Why is the mayor running out of time? What’s the rush here–will it get even darker if he doesn’t pay Electro NOW? No, actually, it won’t: if he waits, it will eventually get lighter. Unless Electro’s powers have short-circuited the sun–which, come to think of it, is no more unlikely than him stopping power to the whole city.

MT: Mark Trail just figured something out! Quickly! Without having to visit his friend who works at the camera store! Or his friend the sheriff of a geographic area large enough to encompass any event that ever happens! Of course, having a giant squirrel to talk him through helps quite a bit.
buckyswife
April 4th, 2009 at 10:02 am [Reply]

188 me: steering wheel. geez. Clearly time for me to go catch some freshmen’s typos.
Baka Gaijin
April 4th, 2009 at 10:06 am [Reply]

#186 Talking Squirrel: Those radomes aren’t missing. NORAD is storing them on the June so they don’t get covered in volcanic ash.
Baka Gaijin
April 4th, 2009 at 10:12 am [Reply]

Mary Worth: You forgot the Margo quotes around “accidentally” in the first panel. Accident my shiny metal ass.

Mary Worth, panel 2: Dr. Jeff is showing some spine. What are you going to do about that, missy?

Mary Worth, part 3: Maybe “Mary Worth” will end up like Judge Parker or Barney Google, a name on the masthead and nothing more. She’s been easing out of the strip since Aldomania. Ahhh, Aldomania! Those were the days.
Muffaroo
April 4th, 2009 at 10:14 am [Reply]

Id “You mean no ice?”
“I mean No shit, Sherlock!”

FCircus – “The mother bird, or in this case the grandmother bird, feeds the young nestlings in a particularly disgusting fashion…”
Baka Gaijin
April 4th, 2009 at 10:14 am [Reply]

Marvin: Ewww, geezer beard clippings in the sink. If he has a curly beard, double ewww, ersatz geezer pubes in the sink.
One-eyed Wolfdog
April 4th, 2009 at 10:17 am [Reply]

#192 – your take on Id is so much pithier and more effective. Gets right at the heart of the matter.
John C Fremont
April 4th, 2009 at 10:36 am [Reply]

#102 Mibbitmaker – I particularly appreciated “M. ‘Mibbit’ Milkjoke.”

#125 Dingo – And, being a doctor, if Rex’s erection lasts more than four hours, he should see himself.

#150 Poteet – Lord Byron? Nah, that Tom Hulce as Mozart.

#173 Poteet again – By any chance, was the Iowa anchor Kevin Cooney? Not Kevin Cooney now, but Kevin Cooney back when he had Grandma Keane hair.

RMMD – “Mother said… only speak… sentence fragments.”

FC – Hey, it’s Kevin Cooney! (Sorry.)

GT – Crap. More information on saluting with the left hand really can be found on the internet. Sadly, my “painstaking” research only tells me that Gil Thorp must have been in the Navy. I was hoping for something that would lead me to an actual joke or something. Sigh. Well, maybe this could tie in to the current Rex Morgan adventure. Something about Gil and Rex swabbing the poop deck or something. No, that’s not funny. Sad, really. I guess humor should be left to the professionals. Like Tom Batiuk.

I think I’ll go listen to Phil Ochs’ “My Life.” That ought to cheer me up.
bats :[
April 4th, 2009 at 10:43 am [Reply]

170. Muffaroo, re FC: if that’s the case, the Empire really, really should’ve won. (And I thought Ewoks were reason enough…)
tb4000
April 4th, 2009 at 10:43 am [Reply]

I suspect if Bung asked the Id barkeep for it on the rocks, he’d get a glass filled with stones and a tiny amount of Scotch….or, or…..wait for it….a glass of Scotch literally ON a pile of rocks. Get it? Because the Id people were under this assumption that gags that weren’t funny in 1955 would be funny in 2009.
kalki
April 4th, 2009 at 10:57 am [Reply]

9CL: You’ve heard of the Jedi and the Sith…now you have the Slutti master and her new apprentice.

Archie: “Uh, the gossip is in my pants, but you’ll have to pump it out.”

Blondie: Pity from a postal worker…I guess that is cause for depression.

CircusJerk: “Screw you, whippersnappers! Damn it! Stop laughing! I tell you that I was Princess Leia!” The irony is that they are just laughing because they know it really is just daddy Bill in drag.

FW: “In this town, who knows if any of us will still be alive by then, Harry?”

GA: Gertie’s man hands are freaking me out…

Luann: I know that Luann is going to go to Gunther’s and find his mom’s mummified corpse in a rocking chair down in the fruit cellar…I know this…and yet I am strangely amused at the prospect of Gunther appearing in a dress and wig with a knife in his hand. I guess it is because of Gunther’s muppet-like face that I just can’t summon any horror at finding out that he is secretly a psychotic killer.

S-M: Yep…called it…Spidey goes on a crime spree to raise the blackmail money.
Muffaroo
April 4th, 2009 at 11:07 am [Reply]

192 Me – In retrospect, the FC comment should have been written in a fake French accent. Stupid retrospect!
Muffaroo
April 4th, 2009 at 11:08 am [Reply]

198 kalki – I think with a wig and a knife in his hand, Gunther would be Ellie from FOOB.
commodorejohn
April 4th, 2009 at 11:20 am [Reply]

A3G – Hey, Joe, perhaps you could distract him with a delicious FUB from the vending machine.

H&L – Wow. I never would have figured Hi for a conspiracy theorist. Next he can tell us about how the government is communicating coded instructions to our brains through our dental fillings.

GT – “Little does Gil know…there’ll be plenty to shoot when Matt reveals that camera sort of thing to actually be a sub-machine gun!”

JP – Well, you would pretty much have to be.

Luann – So buildings in Luann are just sort of arranged in no particular order or pattern, with nothing but empty, featureless space in between and a few NPCs here and there. It’s like DOOM without the killing.

MF – For someone who purportedly believes in a free market, Mallard sure does get pissy when restaurants respond to the consumer’s desire to buy less food.

MT – See, I’d like to make fun of Mark for these leaps in logic, but the criminals have just done such a thorough job of making it completely obvious to everyone that they are, in fact, on the lam that…well, there’s really no other conclusion you could draw. They should be villains in Spider-Man.

MW – Do tell, Jeff.

PBS – Okay, this is pretty great.

Phantom – I haven’t wanted a character to get a spin-off strip this much since Lee and Faith the Seattle bandits in Rex Morgan.

Pluggers – You know you’re a senior Plugger when staring at pregnant women’s breasts is the most action you get.

Popeye – It doesn’t really matter how much you build it up, Popeye. I’m never buying into the hype again, not after that goddamn Thung storyline.

RMMD – Okay, June is clearly tripping on something here. Should make the search interesting. Meanwhile, Willy White-’fro has the sort of heavy-lidded, world-weary stare you typically see only in Funky Winkerbean.
Wolf Shepherd
April 4th, 2009 at 11:27 am [Reply]

And the “Most Illogical Comic of the Day” award goes to … Spider-Man.

Electro has caused a city-wide blackout and refuses to turn the lights back on until the mayor pays him an enormous sum of money. The mayor, thinking he has no choice, is about to do so when Spider-Man enters the scene. Spider-Man tells the mayor, “stall him a little longer” because he has a plan!

Wait … what? Stall him? You mean make him wait longer before allowing him to do what I want him to do?

I recently had my car towed and the towing company wouldn’t give it back until I paid them two hundred bucks (bastards!). Maybe I should have stalled them!
Ukulele Ike
April 4th, 2009 at 11:28 am [Reply]

MT: Whew, the plot just shifted into warp drive. “I’ll bet they are so agitated about the camera-thieving that they will drive their motorcar over a cliff and wind up the storyline!” “Yes, that’s the ticket!”

S-M: Hang on a second. What’s going on with all the ice cream in New York City? I’d better grab a spoon and the Fox’s U-Bet.

GF: Okay, today is funnier than this strip has been in months. Anytime the ears go up it means Large Humor.
migellito
April 4th, 2009 at 11:57 am [Reply]

Phantom – I have to admit, the current mystery has me on the edge of my seat. This strip may be psychotic at times, but if there’s one thing they’ve mastered it’s suspense. I can’t wait to find out!

Why is the ship captain blonde and pale?!! Why why why!!!?
Little A. Who Don\'t Know From Nothin\'
April 4th, 2009 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

Apropos of nothing, not for a change.

My litle niece, whose favorite comic strip is Rose is Rose (she takes after her side of the family, not mine), told me this joke yesterday, which I want to share with everybody. She says she made it up. The humor is far superior to that which we read in many of the snarkable comic strips, so maybe she has a job, in the future, writing for Archie.

What did the raccoon say when his peanuts ran out?

Get back here, you naughty peanuts!

Good one, huh?
Kittymama
April 4th, 2009 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

Josh — “Abbey Spencer’s ass crack” — best band name ever!

I had no idea that “bowling” Plugger was a woman till some of the the Mudges referred to her as a lesbian. Which kind of neatly brackets the issue of whether the drawing of June looks like a real woman.
odinthor
April 4th, 2009 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

Love Is . . . — Checking to make sure he isn’t texting some cheap bimbo when he thinks you’re asleep.

B.C. — “Cigar filling”? And bacon is not ham. Let’s try again:

”What’s the best way to smoke a ham?”

“With plenty of Zig-Zag, and a blow-torch.”

MW. — Oh, Jeff—don’t you know that the best place to check out Ted would have been the men’s restroom?

GT. — No, I will not make a shooting rampage jape. No, I will not make a shooting rampage jape. …must…go on to…next cartoon….

HtH. — But Helga, you have to remember to clean the soap first.

MT. — Big squirrel and li’l tree, you may be on to something! But…how to tell Mark? Maybe arrange nuts in the form of a message in front of his door.

OBH. — Wow, grandpa—just like surfing the net!

RMMD. — Ye gods! This child is suffering from the dread “Sentences Have No Subjects” disease! He could live a happier life with SubjiSmart™. Remember: SubjiSmart™ is not for everyone. If you suffer from pulse, being awake during the day, sleeping at night, hunger just prior to meal times, or enjoying sex with attractive people, there could be serious side-effects such as blindness, spontaneous loss of limbs, insanity, and death. Ask Rex if SubjiSmart™ is right for you!

BG featuring SS. — Uh-oh—lost his pole! Snuffy took SubjiSmart™ without asking his doctor!
Dingo
April 4th, 2009 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

I know Jeff Cory is a doctor but what is his specialty? Today I’m thinking proctologist if he’s gonna get the shit on Ted.
Jackuul
April 4th, 2009 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

Mary Worth has spread Meddlitis! Now when they marry it will be called Jeff and Mary Cory, P.I.

They’ll give Dick Tracy a run for his money.
Poewar
April 4th, 2009 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

“Little Does Gil Know” should be the name of the freakin strip.
migellito
April 4th, 2009 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

at 128

MaryAnnTheRest says:
April 3rd, 2009 at 4:52 pm

Seriously? Nobody thinks June Morgan is wayyy too skinny? She looks like she’s starving. She’s on a cruise fer gawds sake, get her some food!

Amen! Thank you for saying that.. I was beginning to think I was the only one who saw it.
Poteet
April 4th, 2009 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

# 195 John C. Fremont — Yep, it was Kevin Cooney. And I thought he displayed remarkably good humor, given the har-har hair comments he had to endure for weeks.

# 205 Little A. — I like it.

RMMD — That is the weirdest-looking doughnut I’ve ever seen.
Baka Gaijin
April 4th, 2009 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

#212 Poteet: That’s not a donut. It’s the knob off the ventilator control in the Morgan’s state room. Mmmm, tasty!
True Fable
April 4th, 2009 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

Girls Gone 3G Dr. Kelly quietly freaks out in his car when some kind of plan of his does not go his way. Just as I thought – Tommie thinks he’s trusting the fruit of his loins to her because he thinks she’s Mommy-and-Wife material, but it’s been a ruse all along, plus he’s going to make Gary think there’s something going on between Tommie and Dr. Kelly now (bwahahaha, oh that’s rich!) and so that relationship’s going down the tubes. Oooookay, this is no longer a wtf-is-going-on type of thing now. It’s just another day in the apartment. Only minus a Margo victim, and that’s another pity.
kurt
April 4th, 2009 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

RMMD: I’ve always wondered why June’s figure kept changing proportions from strip to strip. And now, at last, we know – June’s caught adjusting air valves for her boobies.
Poteet
April 4th, 2009 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

RMMD — What day of this cruise are we supposedly on? I ask because I assume Widdle Willy has been wearing the same clothes and hasn’t been bathing or washing since he was abandoned by his loving mother. So I’m hoping we’ve only been on the high seas for a few days, even if it does seem like a decade. Otherwise, they could track the kid by his smell.
John C Fremont
April 4th, 2009 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

#216 – I’ve lost track, but I think this is only Day Two. Isn’t this still the day after My Dinner With Martini-Lady? If it’s not, it might as well be.

Crap. Now I have to rummage through the Rex Morgan archives. Or not.
DJTennessee
April 4th, 2009 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

Doubt my credentials as a heterosexual comic-loving man if you must, but I simply cannot get myself worked up over drawings of sexy ladies.

Well you and me are at different ends of the spectrum, Fruhlinger. With that picture of June Morgan available on the internet, I won’t be leaving the house all weekend.
bats :[
April 4th, 2009 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

208. Dingo: of course Jeff is a proctologist — he’s been dealing with assholes for years! And considering his own character — Physician, Heal Thyself!

213. Baka Gaijin: my guess was a Billy Keane Kreation:
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20090313&name=Family_Circus

Lio is GREAT today: http://www.gocomics.com/lio/2009/04/04/
True Fable
April 4th, 2009 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

Dennis the Sham Dammit, Dennis; are you still touting that whole “I’m a Menace” bullshit about yourself? You’re about as menacing as whole wheat. MenaceWatch2009 points and laughs at you. You are dead to us. No, more than that – you are FOOB to us.

Children of the Circle Yes, but at least Grandma’s head is proportional to her body, so fuck all you little melon-headed freaks.

Canadian Zombie So what are you saying? That any time you get all dolled up, you wind up pushing out a child? Well, don’t worry, Elly: you’re never going to look that good again and will wind up so neurotic John will surely find an employee to fool around with instead.

Fist O Justice Theater Mark can figure out what the criminal element is thinking, but he still can’t figure out what women want when they come on to him. “I know! Maybe directions to the interstate!”

Marmadick Why do they have a big stockade fence around their property if they know he’s just going to run all over town? Why don’t they get one of those zapper collars or whatever? Oh yeah – because he’ll just end up making them wear it.

Meddling Heights Slowly, inexorably, Jeff decides to do what most other men would have done by now when they meet their daughter’s fiance who looks like some 1930’s confidence man and constantly stiffs paying the check.

RMMW “Mommy, I found a little boy. Can we keep him?”
“If he’s not old enough to clean my garage while Daddy’s out, then no.”

Spider-Lee Spidey figures out his next step just like the writers figure out what to write – with no real plan in mind, just wing it day to day.
bats :[
April 4th, 2009 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

217. John C Fremont: I’ll back you on this being the second day of the cruise. There’s only been one night on board (dinner with the Dunsmores/Willy at the window/Sara and June searching on deck/some very minor fooling around between Rex and June (mostly June beating Rex about the head and shoulders because he’s not more concerned about a possible lost/abandoned/dopey-looking kid on the ship)).
Gah. We’re probably more aware of the passage of time in the strip than the writer…
Eric the baker
April 4th, 2009 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

#185 – One-eyed Wolfdog: From your reworking of the jester’s lines in WoI, I’d guess you just finished reading Chistopher Moore’s most recent book, Fool.

If not, you should. It’s quite a fun read. Ever since I finished it, I’ve been happily using the phrase “fuck-stockings” into my everyday speech.
Stroker Ace
April 4th, 2009 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

RMMD – A: Creme filled donut. B:Marital aid. C:Birth control device. D:All of the above.
Dingo
April 4th, 2009 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

RMMD: I’ve decided I like the sweaterpuppies better when June is wearing lots of clothing and they’re left to my imagination. I see her pepperoni-like nipples winking at each other from across that vast chasm and spitting milk when Rex makes motorboat sounds between them. I contemplate the slow playful dance that her pouting breasts share in the shower, moving up and down with the soap as a fleshy lava lamp. When June’s breasts are properly burqa’d, they take on a life of their own, living the fantasy that Tommie Thompson’s cleavage cannot dare to fathom. In that bathing suit, the sweaterpuppies look more like a Beverly Hills job done on a young starlet. Is that silicone or the heads of 18 Barbie dolls in there?
gnome de blog
April 4th, 2009 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

Coach Thorp’s blatant dissing of Matt the Hat and the ‘Czak will lead to gang warfare in Milford. My money’s on Shep Trumbo and the Pranksters. “Shep” is hell of a name for a gang lord.
Fashion Police
April 4th, 2009 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

Matt the Hat has class. All of it third.
Stij
April 4th, 2009 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

#139: Oh yeah, true. I took Harry’s little remark to mean replacing every note with a whole note, regardless of value, but what you said would make more sense.

It would also make the song agonizingly slow, which is pretty appropriate for Funky Winkerbean.
Lord Vetinari
April 4th, 2009 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

168. Poteet: i cannot stop laughing. you are awesome! heheheeee…

Luann: she made sally forth eyes again. grrrrrrrrrr….

PBS: this was really funny today, but as an aside i have observed that the mom croc looks JUST LIKE GERTIE of dick tracy, but in CROC FORM. seriously. they have the same mouth and the same eyes like mad albino grapes.
-ly Ballou
April 4th, 2009 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

What’s a miniature Harpo Marx doing in Rex Morgan? Is he going to start tooting his horn and chasing the bikini-clad June around the house?
Muffaroo
April 4th, 2009 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

228 Lord Vetinari –
Voice of Ren Hoek: “Now, in a lovely display of one of Nature’s bee-autiful rituals, we watch the female croco-gertie laying her eggs…”
-ly Ballou
April 4th, 2009 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

#67 rocketbride – I recently read an oral history of the Depression, and one of the things one of the interviewees talks about his how beholden she and her husband became to her mother-in-law, and the Svengali-like hold the old woman had over the next couple decades of their lives.
Baka Gaijin
April 4th, 2009 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

Attention all Mudgies! How much would you pay for today’s Lio to feature Crankshaft instead? And the brakes won’t stop because of budget cuts in the maintenance shop. Just a dream, just a dream.
Baka Gaijin
April 4th, 2009 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

Rex Morgan: Another thing that Harpo Marx isn’t holding: Toaster Tootie.
MrP
April 4th, 2009 at 9:54 pm [Reply]

Regarding Blondie: There’s a frequency of sound that I like to call the “Baby Scream Frequency”. You know which one I mean. It’s the sound pitch that goes through five walls and still manages to give you a headache. It’s the sound you can’t escape, precisely because your brain is hardwired not to escape it, because you as a human have to hear a crying baby.

If a grown man managed to hit that frequency with his voice every time he felt depressed, I wouldn’t want to keep him around the cubicles, either.
Mark W. Payne
April 5th, 2009 at 12:54 am [Reply]

Isn’t anyone else annoyed that this “Pluggers” cartoon is a rip-off of that hillbilly comedian (what ever his name is) and his “you know your a redneck if… It’s bad enough to plagiarise, but to do it by stealing a completely unfunny bit is pathetic. Nobody west of the Mississippi and north of the Mason-Dixon line has ever cackeled at that weak-ass jiberish (except my lame-ass friend Mark Spatz). That’s right Mark, now everyone on the internet knows. By the way, this is funny-ass stuff.
jack the red
April 6th, 2009 at 1:31 am [Reply]

REX MORGAN:

“I didn’t find it mommy, but this little pervert kid found your diaphram!”

—————————————-
Yeah, probably won’t make “best of” but I’m trying Josh. Trying real hard, just not “there” yet..
Braniff
April 6th, 2009 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

June Morgan in her bikini–Mommy (of the infamous Family Circus) has nothing to worry about compared to her.

Neither do Mary Ann (from Gilligan’s Island), or Jeannie, or Daisy Duke, or Farrah Fawcett or Bo Derek. Their reputations are all secure.
Cathy Viviano
May 30th, 2009 at 8:11 pm [Reply]

June looks hot in a bikini

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