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Crazy comics crossovers

Slylock Fox, Blondie, and Rex Morgan, M.D. 12/6/06

Ye cats, it’s a panoply of intertextuality in the funnies! Slylock Fox gets in on the Blondie 75th anniversary a year and a half late and simultaneously shows us all too vividly what Dagwood’s freakish, apple-shaped skull is really like; a little girl walks by and looks on with the appropriate degree of horror. Meanwhile, back at chez Bumstead, Alexander is living out his fantasies of being a tattooed, mulletted meth-dealing bad-ass. The real Elvis and his tough but still thoughtful and compassionate crime boss refuse to acknowledge this winking series of in-jokes, as befits the serious nature of this strip.

What does not befit the serious nature of this strip, however, is the name “Eightball.” Eightball. It’s the most hilarious thing that’s happened to me this week, and I shall savor it like a fine wine. I hope that, after Rex, June, and Abby the Wonderdog inevitably take the troubled and now orphaned Niki under their collective wing, Elvis and Eightball manage to escape the long arm of the law together and get their own spin-off strip, or, even better, a TV show on Fox. “He keeps a level head when things go bad … and knows how to get out when the getting’s good! He’s got a short fuse … and isn’t afraid to smack a kid in the face! Together, they’re … Elvis and Eightball!” They could put it on right after Prison Break.

Momma, 12/6/06

When someone mashes together an e-mail address and a URL like this, you sort of get the impression that they’ve never actually seen a computer, but have had one described to them.

Mary Worth, 12/6/06

The Mr. Dent vs. Ella drama has ground on even more slowly than is typical for Mary Worth, but there’s always a payoff in this feature eventually. In this case, it arrives today, as we’re shown exactly what it would look like if Thomas Dewey were angered by a 92-year-old prostitute and paid her especially contemptuously.

Plugger, 12/6/06

Since nobody’s actually used one since 1998, I’m pretty sure that a plugger beeper is actually a beeper.

310 responses to “Crazy comics crossovers”

  1. B
    December 6th, 2006 at 11:03 pm [Reply]

    I believe the object shown in Pluggers is actually a Plugger five star restaurant.

  2. Blynneda
    December 6th, 2006 at 11:06 pm [Reply]

    First comment? Wowza.

    I particularly enjoy the swooping movements Mr. Dewey continues to make. It’s not enough to simply point; no, he’s pointing in full action mode!

  3. punchmonkey
    December 6th, 2006 at 11:06 pm [Reply]

    Remember in a lot of Steven King books, how someone who gets the holy bejesus scared out of them, their hair turns white? Is that what happened to ol’ Dewey? or did he put on a new dab of Brylcreme between panels?

  4. Blynneda
    December 6th, 2006 at 11:06 pm [Reply]

    Ah, that’s what I get for using italics.

  5. Blynneda
    December 6th, 2006 at 11:09 pm [Reply]

    I actually snorted out loud at Momma, which was kind of embarrassing, even though I’m at home. (It wasn’t a very attractive sound.) But isn’t it completely possible that Mr. Shmetnick’s name is actually something like Warren Worthington Wallace Vernon Shmetnick, thereby making his email address appropriately complete? Okay, I didn’t think so, either.

  6. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    December 6th, 2006 at 11:10 pm [Reply]

    This “Blondie” bugged me after I thought about it for a couple of seconds: Nobody would actually say what Blondie says here! Think about it: if somebody tells you about a chat room conversation they’ve been having, do you instantly reply, “Oh yeah? What user name were you using?”

    It would have made a bit more sense if, after Alexander’s little speech, his mom had said “So then how come your user name is Elvis?”

    There, I just improved “Blondie”.

  7. S. Tarzan
    December 6th, 2006 at 11:14 pm [Reply]

    You know, if Ella needs to augment the old Social Security payments, presumably Thomas Dewey’s actions will only encourage her. I see a line of TV ads: “Are you rich? Do you need to stop cheating on your wife? Did you like to fling money at nonagenerians when disgusted? Then call…”

  8. Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
    December 6th, 2006 at 11:14 pm [Reply]

    Perhaps it’s because of today’s PBS…but does it look to anyone else like Thomas Dewey here has just cut off his own arm with his wing formation of dollar bills?

  9. Poteet
    December 6th, 2006 at 11:21 pm [Reply]

    #8 — Yeah, Gadge, it looks that way to me. I’d love to see what Dewey could do with a deck of cards. Maybe they’d land in a ten-story house formation.

  10. sam walker
    December 6th, 2006 at 11:23 pm [Reply]

    When I first saw today’s Mary Worth, I saw the illustration out of the corner of my eye as I read the dialogue, and the green bills in the air looked, for just a moment, like a chair (or some other blunt object) being wielded by the angry Dewey. Unfortunately, no advice was paid for with ninety year-old head-trauma.

  11. kevin
    December 6th, 2006 at 11:24 pm [Reply]

    doctors still use beepers. hello, don’t you watch Grey’s Anatomy? I thought you were married. :P

    (not just doctors though, other hospital employees too.)

  12. Francis
    December 6th, 2006 at 11:24 pm [Reply]

    Meddlers get paid? And here I’ve been telling people all about their flaws for nothin’.

  13. treedweller
    December 6th, 2006 at 11:25 pm [Reply]

    I’m starting to second guess the amazing Molly, the Pet Bear. I mean, this beaver manages to escape a lunging lynx, then pulls its own leg from a spring trap (specifically designed to prevent just such an escape) without a scratch; Molly couldn’t get away from a mulleted moron and his redneck sidekick, and she couldn’t slip her collar when chained to a tree for minutes, if not hours, alone. Maybe she’s just stupid.

  14. Badly_Computer_Animated_Boy
    December 6th, 2006 at 11:25 pm [Reply]

    Mr. De(mo)n(s)t(rative) SHOULD BE paying Ella. He’s getting in more cardio action with all his flambouyant gesturing than he would during a week of workouts at Bally’s

  15. John C Fremont
    December 6th, 2006 at 11:27 pm [Reply]

    The “cutting off his own arm” routine makes me think he’s really Mandrake the Magician after all, not Thomas Dewey. Pretty sure Penn and Teller could do it better, though.

  16. Trent
    December 6th, 2006 at 11:28 pm [Reply]

    Wow. Every time a meth lab explodes an underpriveliged moppet is bequethed on the barren, loveless marriage of two human beings who’s only real intimate relationship is with denial. We all know its going to happen. Best brace for it.

    On a mildly related note… ever get the feeling that all criminals and thugs in Rex Morgan are based on villains from low-budget distopian sci-fi movies of the 1980s? n”Elvis”, “Eightball”… I’m sure they hang out with guys with names like “Blackjack” or “Rewind” or “Mouse”. On their days off they hang out in run-down warehouses and try and overthrow an oppressive supercorporation/goverment. This would partially explain June’s hair and clothing. She’s not bizarrely out of fashion, she’s from the future… the 1980s future.

    Slylock Fox, however, seems maintain its artistic vision: People staring at things in abject horror. I thus suggest that it is actually written and drawn by a humanoid animal of some stripe. Every time this mutant creature deals with humans, they stare at him in utter disbelief. Not realizing that his genetically altered kind are unheard of in polite human society, he simply assumes that the hairless apes simple stare in shock at everything… including Dagwood changing his appearance so he can leave the country unnoticed.

    As for the goings on in Mary Worth… ever watch a horror movie where the chief of police is abusive and condescending to the punk teenager that tries to warn him? That’s Mr. Dent for you. He’s insulted a biddy in the Worthiverse. By the ed of it all, he’ll pray for the swift death once afforded Aldo.


  17. Poteet
    December 6th, 2006 at 11:30 pm [Reply]

    #13 — Treedweller, I think it may be animal sexism. Remember, Theodore the beaver is a guy, so he’s being allowed to rescue himself. Molly is a girl, and therefore it’s been decreed that she has to wait around for male assistance.

    In my recurring fantasy of comic characters as actors and the strips as sets, I imagine Molly getting well paid, but cogitating on how her agent should be getting her better parts that enable her to better demonstrate her range. Theodore, meanwhile, is hoping this will be his breakthrough role.

  18. Poteet
    December 6th, 2006 at 11:33 pm [Reply]

    And per #17, Kelly Welly got HER part via the traditional casting couch. Sorry, Kelly, but the word is out about you.

  19. Monkey's Paw
    December 6th, 2006 at 11:36 pm [Reply]

    With every wild and flamboyant gesture that Dewey makes I become more and more certain that he has a Spanish accent and I am actually watching Telemundo.

    Actually that’s not a half bad idea. Tomorrow we’ll be treated to his mistress and the day after that his long-lost twin.

  20. Da Scrodfather
    December 6th, 2006 at 11:41 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail today was the most anticlimactic comedown since –well, since Aldo died. Yo Elrod, you couldn’t give us a couple days of worrying about the Beaver, he had to escape right away?

  21. Bill_S
    December 6th, 2006 at 11:42 pm [Reply]

    What is in the Plugger’s right hand? A pop-tart with a pull-pin? The old hand grenade in the pop-tart trick… that’s the second time this month!

  22. andreavis
    December 6th, 2006 at 11:45 pm [Reply]

    Looks like Mr. Dent/Dewey is throwing Brushstrokes in Flight at Ella. Who knew he was a Lichtenstein fan?

    I can’t tell if that Plugger is holding an oven mitt, or a piece of bread. It looks like it has a loop on it, so it could just be advanced mold or something. Moldy bread is a Plugger’s Medicare Part D.

    Also: I luvs me the Eightball. His wistful expression conveys more complex emotions in one panel than June demonstrated in two weeks at the DMV. My only problem: “Eightball” really sounds like a dumb nickname that he gave himself when he was 10 and he’s been making everyone call him that ever since.

  23. mdrew
    December 6th, 2006 at 11:47 pm [Reply]

    12- Hey, YEAH! Why’s he paying her?!
    I thought nobody at Charterstone knows Ella’s psychic.
    So far,isn’t she just someone Mary relates to on a basic busybody to busybody level?
    Perhaps this is just an awkward attempt at offering some hush money.
    I smell a spin off.
    “Ella Byrd, Psychic Shakedown Artist”

  24. reader-who-posts
    December 6th, 2006 at 11:49 pm [Reply]

    There are so many things about this Momma that disturbs me. Does Momma make a habit of wandering around graveyards talking to mourners? Why are all the old women in Momma 2 feet tall? Why is the gravestone 7 feet tall? Did Shmetnick add his own web-mail address thingy from the beyond? Why do the gravestones behind the tree look like the tree’s nuts? And most importantly, why am I thinking about Momma?

  25. Jameson
    December 6th, 2006 at 11:49 pm [Reply]

    I was sure you were going to say the last line in RMMD was a Momma shout-out and that Momma‘s tombstone-based cyber-giggle was referencing Dilbert in some way. And the crossovers go on…

  26. Rhekarid
    December 6th, 2006 at 11:52 pm [Reply]

    Dewey would do well to end his tirade quickly, now that he’s embarrassed himself with a demonstration of how hilariously impossible it is to throw paper in a fit of rage.

  27. Jeff Hebert
    December 6th, 2006 at 11:56 pm [Reply]

    Inspired by the Disco-Stu-like moves of the philandering Mr. Dent, I’ve put together a little Bee-Gees tribute to him here — hope you enjoy it.

    It’s a bit large at 500KB+ and I didn’t put in a “loading” graphic so it might look blank at first, but I have a really good excuse — I’m lazy.

  28. ChristianPinko
    December 7th, 2006 at 12:01 am [Reply]

    Well, Josh, it is a “classic” Pluggers after all. Maybe it comes from 1998.

  29. jakester
    December 7th, 2006 at 12:01 am [Reply]

    All the Pluggers I know have Nextel Two-Way Pagers.

  30. Dynamite XI
    December 7th, 2006 at 12:07 am [Reply]

    Whoa, that Plugger woman looks rather mannish, you know?

    Or maybe it’s a male Plugger hippie. Is such a thing even possible?

  31. Power of 1000 Lemons
    December 7th, 2006 at 12:08 am [Reply]

    Give us a break, Mell Lazarus. Some 80-year-old guy was the best computer genius in the world? I’m sure he was great with the magnetic tape data storage and floppy disks the size of dinner plates, but this is 2006.

  32. leo
    December 7th, 2006 at 12:09 am [Reply]

    Does anyone notice that Mr.Dent looks like Walt Disney? Maybe he died from an unknown STD he got from a 92 year old hooker, and Mary Worth’s editor knows this and thereby snuck in the resemblence to spread the news. Of course, if he said this explicitly, a crack team of Disney Assassins (r) would pounce on him, burying his body under Space Mountain


  33. Dub Not Dubya
    December 7th, 2006 at 12:11 am [Reply]

    #27 Jeff, thank you! That made my day.

  34. Kenny
    December 7th, 2006 at 12:16 am [Reply]

    It’s a constant wish that I were a daily-comic-artist. I sit at my desk at work, punching numbers; pushing papers and all the while, dream of an artist’s life-style (not an Arbuckle-artist’s, but a REAL comic-artist)

    However, I don’t know – by the recent look, humor and images of the daily’s… it takes at LEAST 5 years to draw one strip and have it published. For example: The Pluggers reference to “the Beeper”…

    So, I suppose the ONLY way to be “recent” with comics, and to really be “Edgy” is to have started 5 – 6 years ago to hope to be “today’s hot comic”

    So let’s hear it for 2011… where all my well-timed jokes on net-neutrality, Bush, the War on Iraq and iPods will finally rear their ugly heads.

  35. BethThe#20Fan
    December 7th, 2006 at 12:23 am [Reply]

    Eightball was the name of a character in some of the Grand Theft Auto video games. You could take a vehicle to his shop and he’d rig it with a bomb so you could blow up and kill whoever you wanted. He wasn’t into meth though.

    And also, Ella is a badass. She doesn’t look one bit threatened by Dewey Decimal in any of these strips I’ve been reading over the past week.

    One more thing, in a town near here, Alexandria, LA, they’re planning on building a Dagwood sandwich shop. Apparently they’re a franchise, so if you wish to eat a 20 foot high sandwich, your dreams are about to come true.

  36. Shlomo
    December 7th, 2006 at 12:26 am [Reply]

    Dewey looks a lot like the father from Mary Poppins. Maybe Ella will shove a spoonful of sugar up his ass for throwing money at him.

    Nice of the computer geek’s wife in Mama to get a cloud on his tombstone? That’s a pretty nice touch.

    When barbers give buzzcuts, what the hell do they need a comb for?

  37. C-Town Steve
    December 7th, 2006 at 12:27 am [Reply]

    Momma: These may be the same people who believe that a notebook and a Notebook are too similar to tell apart. Things get very confusing when words and things seem alike…And what’s the difference between Rabbis and Ministers anyway? It’s just too complicated for me to figure out!

  38. Amber
    December 7th, 2006 at 12:32 am [Reply]

    #13 – Molly doesn’t understand your doubts about her intellect.

  39. Derelict
    December 7th, 2006 at 12:32 am [Reply]

    Momma: Schmetnick? Forget the mashed-up URL/email address. I’m much more interested in the mashed-up Yiddish in that name.

    Wonder if the anagram site works on that?

  40. Terryfic
    December 7th, 2006 at 12:41 am [Reply]

    The mashed-up email address is not an uncommon mistake. I run websites that generate confirmation emails, and I get the undeliverable notices. Many are bounced because the email starts with www. Hmmm… I could check my membership DB for Lazarus, but I don’t suppose he’d use his real name on a foot fetish site.

  41. RoboMax
    December 7th, 2006 at 12:46 am [Reply]

    MW: I had to do a double take because it looked like Thomas Dewey had just opened up a can of “beer nuts” at Ella, showering her in fake snakes.

    RM,M.D.: In the spirit of crossoverism, wouldn’t be awesome if Eightball was in fact, Curtis’s little brother, Barry, in the present. His nephew’s momma being of course, Michelle, having finally settled for Curtis. Also, It’d explain the horrible one eyed monster the kid converses with.

  42. Mike P? Mikel? I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE!
    December 7th, 2006 at 12:48 am [Reply]

    Skullturf – Blondie asked because she was in that exact same chatroom moments ago, trying to seduce any young man who would come near her. She just wanted to make sure she had not mistakenly cyber-seduced her own son.

    MW – Notice how we never find out who Mister Dent’s mistress is. I propose that it’s Ella Byrd, and he’s paying her off so she won’t blab to the world.

    MT – While I was hoping that Theodore the Beaver would escape, the quick escape was quite unrewarding. I can only guess that this is just another cog in the Rube Goldberg machine that is Theodore’s introduction to the real world.

  43. Weasel Boy
    December 7th, 2006 at 12:50 am [Reply]

    True or False: a disembodied dog head in a barbershop is good luck.

  44. sro
    December 7th, 2006 at 12:53 am [Reply]

    Is that a photo of Aldo on Ella’s wall in the 12/7 MW?

  45. Derelict
    December 7th, 2006 at 12:57 am [Reply]

    MT: For everyone disappointed by Theodore’s easy escape, I can only say I’m disappointed as well–in all of you who apparently have not learned that a beaver is slippery when wet.

  46. sro
    December 7th, 2006 at 12:58 am [Reply]

    43: Sorry – the Dent apartment wall.

  47. Kevin
    December 7th, 2006 at 1:00 am [Reply]

    I happen to think that Vernon Shmetnick was not, in fact, a computer genius; he was just some retiree. Maybe he used to manufacture newsprint ink or someting. His wife, in a senility-fueled attempt to convince herself that her husband’s life had meant something, manufactured this whole story about the computers while he was on his deathbed, and now it’s taken root in her brain, to the extent that she demanded that weird URL/email thing be carved on his outsized headstone. Momma, kindly, humors her.

    If you think of it like that, it’s hilarious!

  48. Bobdog
    December 7th, 2006 at 1:10 am [Reply]

    I want, no, I demand, a Toby and Mr. Dent “point off.” First one to take out an eye wins.

  49. Steve S
    December 7th, 2006 at 1:19 am [Reply]

    “Best Computer Genius in the World” is hardly natural language either, but since the widow seems to have a pizza slice for one hand while giving the finger with the other, and the guy’s name appears to be $hmetnick with a dollar sign and on the world’s biggest tombstone, I’m guessing that editing is not one of Momma‘s strengths. Whether it has any strengths is a case that would stump even Slylock Fox.

  50. Bobdog
    December 7th, 2006 at 1:23 am [Reply]

    Perhaps now that the meth lab is gone, Eightball can persue a career as a magician with the stage name “Magic Eightball”

    BTW, for the longest time I thought the references in the comments here on CC to Elvis in RMMD were some snarky reference to June Morgan as some sort of commentary on her hair. I’m kind of dispaointed that that’s not the case.

  51. Heckler123
    December 7th, 2006 at 1:25 am [Reply]

    I went to just now. I was unable to locate Vernon Shmetnick, the computer genius; however, I did discover that I can be an ordained minister. An enticing message reads, “Click here to select your ordination package.” With any luck, it comes with a large fry and a 32-ounce drink.

  52. Mibbitmaker
    December 7th, 2006 at 1:33 am [Reply]


    In the last panel in MW, Dewey Dent is stealing dialogue from the late Ken Lay!

  53. Dactyl
    December 7th, 2006 at 1:35 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth:
    “We’re Leaving your Father the Philanderer” is the worst exit line (thought or spoken) in the history of ever. It sounds like a cross between something an alien impersonating human speech would say, or like a line in a legal brief. O.k., maybe that’s just the same thing twice.

  54. Derelict
    December 7th, 2006 at 1:56 am [Reply]

    Looking at all these overnight posts, guess I’m not the only one working nights!

  55. Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
    December 7th, 2006 at 1:57 am [Reply]

    #26: Dewey would do well to end his tirade quickly, now that he’s embarrassed himself with a demonstration of how hilariously impossible it is to throw paper in a fit of rage. Okay, this reminds me of a brilliant comic bit from the late, lamented Wonderfalls series. Older sister, angry at younger sister, gets into her SUV, and attempts to angrily yank the seatbelt and shoulder harness into place. Of course, it doesn’t work. The scene’s even better if you know the characters: the sister’s an uptight lawyer, so her snittiness while being cautiously safe is ridiculously in character.

    Also: I believe Theodore is about to decide that the whole “nature” thing just isn’t for him, and so he books a flight to LA. Before he knows it, some wiseass named Slick steals his luggage. En route to drowning his sorrows at some dive bar with disco lights left over from 1976, Theodore is pickpocketed by a sleazy cat wearing enormous, preternaturally icy earrings. Down on his luck, he rents a decrepit tenement on Ballard Street and is enticed into dubious employment with Ted’s Tree Removal Service, where his freakish dental endowment is ruthlessly exploited. After only a few months of double, even triple shifts, his days as tree-gnawer are brought to a premature close as he simultaneously contracts an infestation of deadly wood ticks and finds his teeth worn to a nub by stress-induced bruxism. Penniless, toothless, covered in pus-oozing tick wounds, and down to his last few twigs and grubs, he stows away in a car parked outside a liquor store at an angle the driver probably hoped would be regarded as “jaunty.” As the vehicle’s mustachio’d, bowlcutted owner weaves away, only to drive crazily off a cliff, Theodore utters his final words: “Elrod…” A curiously formed ball falls to the floor and rolls off, unnoticed, into the underbrush.

  56. Mibbitmaker
    December 7th, 2006 at 2:01 am [Reply]


    BBailey: Is the Major giving General Halftrack the Iraq Study Group report?

    (DT)GT: Ol’ half-leg is drugged… and it’s not meth? Really lazy, Jenkins/McLaughlin.

    A3G: Blaze’s hat’s shaking wildly in panel 2. It didn’t even wait for his head to bobble! Meanwhile, LuAnn’s headed for a psychotic breakdown (great name for a jazz band!). And I always thought it’d be Margo.

    SM: Ol’ JJJ…J…J… is at it again! Wacky Nazi highjinx will insue. Go get ‘em, Flattop! No…don’t.

    FW: A new li’l Crazy baby! Kid, you’re in for a sad, depressing life. Just ask Chemo over there. “And they said it wouldn’t last”, indeed.

    FOOB: Sudden mid-week storyline change is at it again. Eric: “April got off easy!” More hugs and kisses and hugs and hugs and kisses? Omigod, Liz and Paul are just as sickening as Liz and Blanthony!

    FC: Well, this panel series is not funny at all… But we’re sure to get a lot of laughs out of its sucking.

    Garfield: This must be how Scaduto writes his captions and dialogue.

  57. Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
    December 7th, 2006 at 2:08 am [Reply]

    Okay, today’s Bizarro made me spew beer through my nose.

  58. Mr. O’Malley
    December 7th, 2006 at 2:17 am [Reply]

    42. True or False: a disembodied dog head in a barbershop is good luck.

    I don’t know about barbershops but disembodied dog heads were once very popular in the fast food business. A frequent sight in Zippy the Pinhead.

  59. Crankenstank
    December 7th, 2006 at 2:17 am [Reply]

    The real plugger beeper is a pacemaker.

  60. Colleen
    December 7th, 2006 at 2:35 am [Reply]

    Oh, I get it; he’s “Eightball” ‘cos he’s black.

  61. Mr. O’Malley
    December 7th, 2006 at 2:47 am [Reply]

    59. I guess you didn’t read through all of yesterday’s comments, or you might have come up with a different explanation for that name.

  62. Mr. O’Malley
    December 7th, 2006 at 2:53 am [Reply]

    What’s up with Family Circus? He’s doing his own snarking now? It’s a fairly weak start, but if developed properly it could add a whole new dimension to the strip.

    Maybe he could ask readers to submit punchlines and select the best one. Has anyone ever thought of that before?

  63. Donald The Anarchist
    December 7th, 2006 at 2:53 am [Reply]

    MW What ever happened to showing contempt by leaving your money on the dresser? This strip is out of touch no matter what decade it’s supposed to be in.

    RMMD Whaddya bet Eightball’s way of breaking the news to his sis starts with “Guess what your dumb-ass son went and did!!!”

    Blondie “Gee, mom, I sure like discussing secrets with strangers!” What secrets are those, son?” Just stuff I’ll never tell you about in a million years, Mom!” “Oh, that’s comforting to hear. Tell the truth, there’s alot of topics I deliberately avoid with you and Cookie, and it’s good to know SOMEONE will listen!”

  64. Mr. O’Malley
    December 7th, 2006 at 2:55 am [Reply]

    52. Didn’t Alan Sherman record “Your Father the Philanderer?”

  65. Mr. O’Malley
    December 7th, 2006 at 3:03 am [Reply]

    63 Sorry, I meant “?, not ?”. Or perhaps that’s the “American version.” But Fowler prefers “this way”.

    (Thinks: punctuation wars could be a nice diversion.)

  66. Mike
    December 7th, 2006 at 4:19 am [Reply]

    I must be way out of the demographic because I never get Pluggers. The one today just completely baffles me.

  67. Klipper
    December 7th, 2006 at 4:37 am [Reply]

    Look at the first panel:Theodore is the Last Dragon! He possess’ the power of the glow!

    Am I the meanest? The’Dore!
    Am I the prettiest? The’Dore!
    Am I the baddest, mo-fo, low-down beaver ’round this town? The’Dore!
    Who’s the Master! The’Dore!

    Kiss my converse!

  68. Tj
    December 7th, 2006 at 4:52 am [Reply]

    I nominate 48 for comment of the week.

  69. Jeff Porten
    December 7th, 2006 at 6:27 am [Reply]

    A blog post titled “Crazy comics crossovers”, and no mention that Clark Kent and Lois Lane are referenced in today’s Spider-Man?

  70. Sheilagh
    December 7th, 2006 at 6:33 am [Reply]

    Pluggers have microwaves? Somehow I expected 1950s-era gas stoves — the kind where the pilot light keeps going out cuz it’s crusted with half a century of crumbs and grease.

    Meanwhile, over in Rex Morgan — odd how the artist draws such a cartoonish meth addict, and then pairs him with a realistically-drawn and totally HOT black guy. Just having fun with styles? Afraid to offend with a cartoonish black guy? Or simple incompetence? You decide.

  71. Summerhouse
    December 7th, 2006 at 6:44 am [Reply]

    #56 – Gadge: Bwahahahahahhahah! Thanks for the link!

  72. Summerhouse
    December 7th, 2006 at 6:48 am [Reply]

    Why is comedian Louie Anderson so bummed that the blonde lady in Funky Winkerbean is pregnant? Maybe the announcement took attention away from his set, or something.

  73. Pinback65
    December 7th, 2006 at 6:56 am [Reply]

    Spider-man–”If Spider-man tackles Doc Ock, it’ll be the story of a lifetime!” Why? Doesn’t that sort of thing happen every other day in the Marvel Universe?

    BC–Oh, how cute. A racist slam at the Japanese. Merry Christmas, Johnny Hart.

    Ziggy–It’s always nice to see the late character actor Ned Glass come back to life to do a cameo.

  74. compass rose
    December 7th, 2006 at 7:10 am [Reply]

    #27 Jeff – Thanks so much for Disco Dent! I think I can face going in to work, now.

  75. AABelle
    December 7th, 2006 at 7:12 am [Reply]

    Not to defend Momma. Well, actually, yes, to defend Momma, but I think that our complaints are actually the joke.
    Like us, Momma is quietly deriding the so called “genius” who can’t even tell an email address from a URL. After all, what comic character is more sarcastic and likely to take pleasure in the stupidity of others than Momma?

  76. Gatormom
    December 7th, 2006 at 7:15 am [Reply]


    PLEASE let this mean Granthony will finally give up the ghost.

  77. smacky
    December 7th, 2006 at 7:16 am [Reply]

    RMMD: Hmmm, how does Elvis answer this question? “Does he know you got May a job at my lab?” Technically, no. Niki knows May got a job at a lab, but May never actually said her boss was Eightball, the only black man in the entire city, so maybe he’s safe.

    Who am I kidding? For the second time this year, this strip is going to have someone tied to a tree and a SWAT team raining a hail of nonlethal bullets down on them. Perhaps Elvis will even sacrifice himself to save Niki, atoning for his sins and living just long enough to say something pithy like, “I’m sorry it had to end this way, kid. Stay in school and don’t do drugs…”

  78. zadig
    December 7th, 2006 at 7:46 am [Reply]

    I went to hoping — just so this would all be that much funnier — that it was some kind of porn site. Sadly, it’s some kind of prayer site, so I guess the joke’s on me.

  79. yellojkt
    December 7th, 2006 at 7:47 am [Reply]

    Beepers are cool again. In last weeks 30 Rock, The Funny Baldwin buys a beeper from Tina Fey’s boyfriend because he’s expecting a call from 1983. I guess that makes him a Plugger.

    I guess you had to be there.

  80. UnkleSam
    December 7th, 2006 at 7:56 am [Reply]

    49- wouldn’t he be more likely to make the transition to exotic dancecr with a name like ‘magic eightball?’

    71- Louie Anderson is bummed because he realizes the intrinsic humor in pregnancy (little, if any) far outshines the humor in his act

  81. Sheilagh
    December 7th, 2006 at 7:57 am [Reply]

    Frank and Ernest — why does the cafeteria look like an outdoor fruit stand???

    WTF in Mother Goose & Grimm — it’s not funny if the cat is staring at soap boxes for no reason other than the gag.

    SM — Mary Jane has this patented “oh, duh” facial expression for moments like this. Can the artists not draw “scared” or “angry”?

    FC — Joke? “McElfresh”? What?

    Drabble — that artist should really learn to draw the “hairy eyeball” better.

    Bizarro is freakin’ hilarious. Kudos.

    GF — I love the multiple thinly-sliced panels. I love the way the art changes from one to the next — way too many comics use the exact same picture for three frames of dialogue, boo.

    I don’t get Foxtrot.

  82. Squawk
    December 7th, 2006 at 8:10 am [Reply]

    Meanwhile, the dialogue in Rex Morgan looks like it was written by someone who’s never been to the ghetto, but has had one described to him.

    As for Momma, give Mel Lazarus credit for at least trying to update his humor to the 1990s, if not the 21st century.

  83. James Schend
    December 7th, 2006 at 8:15 am [Reply]

    Doctors use beeper (pagers) still, as do many other high-availability jobs. Why? Because pagers work EVERYWHERE. In an elevator in a concrete and steel building? It’ll beep. Five stories underground in Nebraska? It’ll beep. I’ve never found a place sufficiently shielded to block my on-call pager’s signal (alas.)

    Cell phones, OTOH, barely work anywhere.

  84. Allie Cat
    December 7th, 2006 at 8:17 am [Reply]

    FOOB – So now Paul is coming to Ontario? You know what would be hilarious? If by the time he got there, Liz had decided to be with Blandthony instead!

    That would have been the second time she screwed up Paul’s transfer – maybe he’d go nuts, pull his gun and shoot the whole damn family.


    Funky Wellbutrin – Do we know why Bull can’t believe that Crazy and Donna are with child? My guess is that he and Linda have a similar announcement, and that Funky and Holly are also in a family way – thus sending chemo-addled Lisa into a tailspin, wherein she gets a gun, shoots up the entire pizza joint, including her son Darrin, who she doesn’t even know is her son.

    Whereby, we have two less comics to pick apart everyday.

    They’re my two favorites to pick apart, but I’m willing to take one for the team.

  85. Ten Day Dinosaur
    December 7th, 2006 at 8:21 am [Reply]

    #59 – I think you’re right. … In which case, that’s horrible.

  86. jess a.
    December 7th, 2006 at 8:23 am [Reply]

    Once again, “They’ll Do It Every Time” is a lot more like “They’ll Do it Occasionally, if They’re in a Highly Specialized Field and Random Chance Conspires to Make Something Happen.”

  87. yellojkt
    December 7th, 2006 at 8:24 am [Reply]

    BC: Tinsley may have forgotten Veterans Day, but we can count on Hart never forgetting Pearl Harbor Day.

    MT: Bucky Winkenbeaver is about to become roadkill. That is one unlucky beaver. Hopefully, Mark’s jeep has a “I BRAKE FOR BEAVER” bumpersticker on it.

  88. True Fable
    December 7th, 2006 at 8:26 am [Reply]

    Lynn Johnson, mistress of Jerking The Chain. Sure, we all breathe a sigh of relief that Lizardbreath is still excited and giggly to hear from Paul, but that only sets us up for what I expect will be Anthony’s cunningly planned “coincidental” visit to the house after Liz hangs up the phone.

    He will be feted by the clueless elder Pattersons and treated like King Dog, and Liz will drop her mouth open (again for the nth time) and start agonzing over this nefarious Loser.

    What I want to see to happen – which means I’m not likely to – is that Edgar the dog will cutely barrel his mangy ass into the living room and sit on Anthony, therefore effectively squashing him, just before Liz comes into the room. Since Liz can’t see him for all the worthless dog hair on top of him, she goes on and on to Elly and John about how wonderful Paul is, how they plan to marry and live in the tundra north for the rest of their days and pop out a multiple group of open-mouthed, stringy haired moppets.

    All this time Elly and John are waving their arms and making stupid faces to get her to hush but as the daughter of the Clueless, she doesn’t get it so she keeps waxing eloquent. After she goes back to her room, Edgar follows her and Anthony slinks out of the house, finds a gun in his glove comparment and, in the tradition of a FW drama classic, blows his brain cell out.

    It doesn’t matter after that if Liz gets depressed or decides to boff Paul the second he gets out of the plane when he arrives – the point will be Anthony is dead and all is right with the world.

    It is the only way LJ can redeem herself. Get to drawin’, babe.

  89. yellojkt
    December 7th, 2006 at 8:28 am [Reply]

    All the babies from Bizarro have crawled over to F-Minus.

  90. Ryan
    December 7th, 2006 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    Randy Parker has been described as having a leftist agenda now. What is he, a Sandinista?

  91. James Schend
    December 7th, 2006 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    The good part about the comics page’s complete ignorance of the Internet world is that we can mock them with impunity with no fear of the artists come here and getting their feelings hurt.

    However, if they DID come here without the required protective emotional shell formed from years of and tubgirl, their heads would probably explode.

  92. True Fable
    December 7th, 2006 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    by “leftist” it only means he should have left us by now.

    oh god stop me before i pun again

  93. Ben
    December 7th, 2006 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    Re:Pluggers, “A Classic thanks”? Quoi?

  94. JEdens
    December 7th, 2006 at 8:48 am [Reply]


    >>This “Blondie” bugged me after I thought about it for a couple of seconds: Nobody would actually say what Blondie says here! Think about it: if somebody tells you about a chat room conversation they’ve been having, do you instantly reply, “Oh yeah? What user name were you using?”

  95. Natural Medicine (of Humor) Man
    December 7th, 2006 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    There is something so sadly beautiful about Gil Thorp. In today’s strip, Stormy is drawn so badly that he can hardly be recognized as a continuing character. And Stormy and Bill are now joking about Bills amputated leg – which was just amputated a few days ago!

  96. JEdens
    December 7th, 2006 at 8:51 am [Reply]


    >>This “Blondie” bugged me after I thought about it for a couple of seconds: Nobody would actually say what Blondie says here! Think about it: if somebody tells you about a chat room conversation they’ve been having, do you instantly reply, “Oh yeah? What user name were you using?”

    There is at least one set of circumstances where you would say that – if you had set up an anonymous internet encounter at the local ‘no tell motel’ for nasty, kinky sex and wanted to make sure you weren’t going to find your son waiting there for you.

  97. Captain Insano
    December 7th, 2006 at 8:53 am [Reply]


    FOOB: Damn. After that third panel, I was hoping for some hot Patterson on Patterson action. You just know Paul whipped it out the minute he heard April’s smooches.

    FC: So, Bill Keane has finally gone mad in his old age. Thank God.

  98. man behind the curtain
    December 7th, 2006 at 8:57 am [Reply]

    FBOW — Would have been much more interesting if April had interrupted some hot phone sex between Liz and Dudley. Meanwhile perhaps some foreshadowing of a Dudley — Granthony smackdown with the whole family weighing in.

    RMMD– I find the concern that Elvis has for Niki very interesting considering Mom was just another Ho who he liked to abuse. I guess he’ll be fighting June for custody. And of course no one has noticed the giant fireball and explosion from the meth lab as our pals slowly depart the scene.

    Blondie — And what exactly are Blondie’s measurements. 40-18-36? She puts Barbie to shame.

  99. Saxman
    December 7th, 2006 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail:
    It’s a little publicized fact among exotic animal owners, that the best way to feed your several hundred pound “pet” is to scavenge roadkill. I know this because I briefly dated a wildlife rehab team member and noticed the suspicious looking buldging garbage bag in the back of her (thankfully) convertable Sidekick SUV.

    So maybe the MT scenarios are about to converge. MT & co. drive by, stop to harvest some McBeaver and kibbles, and are atonished to see the would-be dinner is still moving.

    What will happen next? The beginning of a new lifelong bear/beaver freiendship? Some field euthenasia? Another harrowing escape for Theodore?

    Another possibility is predicated on the sad fact that unjured animals usually bite when confronted with would-be saviors. Luckily Molly not only knows the way back to the hospital, but has possibly even taken driving lessons.

    I’m on the edge of my seat.

  100. EZ_e
    December 7th, 2006 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    anybody see TDIET today? About the archaeologist Fred Fossil, who never found a bone in his life, finds a chicken bone in his meal at a restaurant? Are they reaching just a tad with this one?

  101. Saxman
    December 7th, 2006 at 9:03 am [Reply]

    Slylock Fox
    Today’s mystery: Bad Barber Bart has stolen Dagwood’s cowlick. Where could be have hidden it?

    Today’s solution: A good detective uses all five of his senses. The smell of spirit gun coming from Bart’s moustache is a dead giveaway.

  102. smacky
    December 7th, 2006 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    FBOFW: The look on Lizard’s face in panel 3: closed eyes, open mouth in ecstacy, says that either their conversation was about to get a lot more adult, or Paul was already 12 steps ahead while she was still giving “hugs and kisses.”

    Just like a man!

  103. King Folderol
    December 7th, 2006 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    SF – Looks like Dagwood stumbled into a campy horror movie. The guy walking on the street and not on the sidewalk, the street sign with no name…this is a phony town, and the “barber” is going to remove Dagwood’s brain after he’s done shaving his head!

    12/7 RMMD – First thing we gotta do is get rid of this meth shipment! Except for the fact that they’re dealing with meth and not hooch, Elvis sounds like a 1930s gangster. “First we’ve got to get rid of the meth, see. Then we’ve got to shut that loud mouthed kid of yours up. Then we’ve got to leave town on the first train to Freedomville. Now shut up and fix me a drink!”

    12/7 MW – Why do Moy and Giella go to all the trouble to put pictures on the wall behind Dent’s wife and don’t at least put a picture of Dent up there? If my wife insisted on putting a bunch of pictures on the wall that came with the picture frames and didn’t have any pictures of me or my baby up, I’d cheat too, and there isn’t a court in the land that wouldn’t see things my way!

  104. King Folderol
    December 7th, 2006 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    #102 – I meant Eightball. Crud.

  105. LittleGuy
    December 7th, 2006 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    Momma: I sent an E-mail to Daddy/His domain is Heaven-dot-com…..

    MW: Anyone else seen paper money fly out of a wallet like that in real life?

  106. King Folderol
    December 7th, 2006 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    #61 – “You’re not funny and you’re also a terrible speller.” Way to instill confidence in the little brat, dad.

    #72, #86 – Perhaps in 60 years, some mediocre, fading Iraqi cartoonist will have a similar joke in The Baghdad Post and Times about the current U.S. occupation. And, if I’m somehow alive then, I’ll say then what I say now. I may think Johnny Hart is just a waste of human tissue who wouldn’t know a joke if it smacked him over the head, stuffed him in a burlap sack, and threw him into raging rapids, but I’ll fight to the death for his right to be a waste of human tissue who wouldn’t know a joke if it smacked him over the head, stuffed him in a burlap sack, and threw him into raging rapids

  107. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    December 7th, 2006 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    Re #99:

    “Ol’ Rinkbutt’s been a pro hockey player for many years now — but hasn’t scored on a penalty shot in, but we mean like, forever…”

    “But whazzis? On a recent trip to Singapore, contraband is found in his luggage, so as a penalty, he gets shot.”

    “I’m missin’ somethin’ here, right?”

    OK, that was horrible. But you see, no more of a stretch than today’s TDIET.

  108. Lyman Returns
    December 7th, 2006 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    FW-This guy just referred to his wife as his “sidekick”? Just wait ’til you get home tonight, buddy boy. Your wife looks all happy and smiley now, but she’s really thinking, “Must look pleasant for this roomful of people…but the minute we get home, I’ll give him a ‘sidekick’…IN HIS CROTCH!”

    I think that Coach Bull aka Louie is upset because he thought he’d end up with Blondie McCurlyhair. It’s hard to tell what’s what and who’s who in the Byzantine labyrinth that is the interrelationships of the 1,399 Funky Winkerbean and Crankshaft characters.

    Phantom-This must be one of the Phantom’s superpowers…to become totally unnoticible when he sits astride a gigantic white horse and goes behind a tree.

    Family Circus-Geez, Papa Keane, way to ensure your kid goes to therapy a decade or so later. Why not just call him a worthless melon-headed twerp while you’re at it? Actually, that would be the best Family Circus strip ever.

    Pluggers-The more accurate statement would have been “You know you’re a Plugger when you use your old, broken microwave as a stand to put your new one on top of.” Applies to TVs and VCRs as well.

    FBOFW-Lynn Johnson just doesn’t get it, does she? While I’m happy to see ANY member of this misbegotten assemblage of characters get knocked out, April definitely was not on the top of my “FBOFW characters who need a smackdown” list. April’s annoying, but she is nowhere near the screechingly maddening territory that Lizard, Anthony, Ellie, John, Mike, and Gordon occupy. At least we got through a FBOFW strip with no “glamor shot” closeup of any of the female characters.

    Slylock-What kind of barber shop leaves its door wide open like that? Mr. No-mouth Barber Dude, you’re just asking for stray dogs, little girls, and azure-ensemble-wearing men to ogle your misshapen customers.

  109. Archivalist
    December 7th, 2006 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    Abby the Wonderdog… It took me a second to figure out that you weren’t talking about Judge Parker here. Damn…

    Let’s assume that PParker is not the “Amazing” Spider-Man… Just what does Doc Ock figure he’ll do once Spidey shows up? Show him his new MJ and Petey dolls? Seriously, Doc, just buy a gun or some Raid already and get this travesty over with.

  110. teenchy
    December 7th, 2006 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    ##59-60: No, I didn’t read through yesterday’s comments. Still the first thing that crossed my mind was that unless his name referred to an eighth of an ounce of meth, crack, or a coke/heroin cocktail, it was incredibly racist.

  111. hogenmogen
    December 7th, 2006 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    I’ve come to the scientifically backed conclusion that making absolutely no sense in a comic is a physical impossibility as is the speed of light and the temperature of absolute zero. However, there is no restriction on coming extremely close to these barriers. A few years ago on the bleeding cutting edge of comic technology, Johnny Hart must have been so proud of his own creation that he boasted that no one else yet had ever come so close to utter nonsense. “No one in the comic world can top me. I DARE you to make less sense!” Then, along comes Ballard Street and the arms race is on.

  112. man behind the curtain
    December 7th, 2006 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    MW — maybe we will find out the Tom Dewey Dent is having an affair with Toby C and Ella figured it out after seeing Tom skuling around Charetrstone. of course, for Toby’s sake, anyone would be a step up from Ian. Or perhaps the mysterious Carlos Alora has been gving Ella all of the inside info on the Charterstone residents. Will Mrs. Dent be fleeing to Charterstone seeking safe haven? Amazing how all of her belongings, and the baby’s, fits into one small suticase. If Dent is such a good successful businessman how come they live in a crummy apartment?

  113. arlo
    December 7th, 2006 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    Ok, my new foob prediction: Paul will move South, but ultimately go back North again because he cannot live cut off from his relatives, spirit ancestors, “his people,” etc, leaving Liz to be with Anthony. And I actually dread this possibility more than all the others, suddenly.

  114. vanya
    December 7th, 2006 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    TDIET – Since Ferd is an archeologist, not a paleontologist, and since he is digging right next to the pyramids, a well picked over cultural site not likely to contain fossils in the first place, shouldn’t we assume that he has never found a bone because he isn’t looking for them? Most archeologists digging in Egypt are looking for, you know, old buildings and cultural artifacts.

  115. Bill James
    December 7th, 2006 at 9:55 am [Reply]

    What no one noticed the Family Circus/Brewster Rockit crossover? Not that it was vefry funny, but there seems to be more and more of this going on.

  116. Allie Cat
    December 7th, 2006 at 9:55 am [Reply]

    #112 – See, that’s an interesting scenario, because it totally makes Paul the “bad guy” – but not *such* a bad guy, because, ultimately, didn’t Liz move back south for the same basic reason?

    I’m still hoping Liz catches Paul en flagrante with the new teacher.

    Just because I’m a sick person that way.

  117. Pozzo
    December 7th, 2006 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    Is it just me, or does the grieving widow in “Momma” look like a garden gnome? And did Mary Worth stop by to drop off half a boquet of flowers?

  118. hogenmogen
    December 7th, 2006 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    Theodore Beaver, choose your fate:

    A) Mark: What was that bump, Molly?
    Molly: I think you ran over a beaver back there. No biggie.

    B) Mark: Look, Molly! An injured beaver on the side of the road! We should take it back to the cabin and nurture it back to health! It appears to have been injured in an illegally placed beaver trap!!

    Molly: *Chomp* *Gulp* Thanks for lunch, now quit using so many exclamation points.

  119. hogenmogen
    December 7th, 2006 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    #82 – My wife works at a hospital and on the first floor you really don’t get good pager reception.

  120. Ned Ryerson
    December 7th, 2006 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    I think todays TDIET should be renamed They Did It That One Time, Well Not Really, But Wouldn’t It Be Kind Of Funny If They Did


  121. TB Tabby
    December 7th, 2006 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    98: “Another possibility is predicated on the sad fact that unjured animals usually bite when confronted with would-be saviors.”

    I know I shouldn’t laugh at a “sad fact,” but it reminds me of Jeff Foxworthy’s anecdote about the redneck whose nipple was bitten off by a beaver. If Mark happens to say “nuthin’” while tending to Theodore, this comic will get a lot more interesting…

  122. Dennis Jimenez
    December 7th, 2006 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    12.7.2006 – Blondie – Dag’s compensation – A bedroom night of master of the house and the french serving girl!

  123. Mahogany Toboggan
    December 7th, 2006 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    #110 – B.C. isn’t nonsense today, it’s truly insane right-wing ranting.

    December 7 is the anniversary of the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor, the day FDR declared “will live in infamy.” Apparently, Hart is actually trying to declare that the US should still be at war with Japan. The mind boggles.

    You know, I think I’m actually going to write my local newspaper and complain. Maybe it will do some good, like prying one more long-unfunny comic out of the long-unfunny pages.

  124. bitter law student
    December 7th, 2006 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    Thomas Dewey has learned something: Ella likes to be paid in casseroles. Up front. Let that be a lesson to all you failed presidential candidates out there seeking advice in Charterstone from questionable women. I’m talking to you Gary Hart.

  125. TB Tabby
    December 7th, 2006 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    I thought today’s Bizarro was funny too…then I remembered this:

    Coincidence, I’m sure…

  126. Ned Ryerson
    December 7th, 2006 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    Sorry jess a. (#85) and others that already covered that TDIET angle. Shoulda read all the way through.

  127. hogenmogen
    December 7th, 2006 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    TDIET – “Can’t find any *&^% bones. I dig and dig and all I get are these clay tablets, golden idols and this huge pyramid thingy. Damn it! I’m never going to be a success in the world of archeology if I don’t get boned!”

  128. Bill
    December 7th, 2006 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    So what’s got to happen in RM, right, is that six months from now, after li’l Nikki has become a heartwarming, housecleaning part of the Morgan household, Elvis will reappear and threaten to take him away, claiming some sort of junkie shacked-up Squatters Rights. Unless the Morgans give him a lot of money and/or drugs.

    And no one will comment on how insane this idea is, they’ll just fret about whether they should do it or not.

  129. dcrat
    December 7th, 2006 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    Judge Parker: I think the reporter’s right breast is asking the question in panel two. Almost as good as moose talking out of their asses.

  130. hogenmogen
    December 7th, 2006 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    #122 – Mahogany – Yeah, I figured it out a little bit after posting. Sorry. I was working down the avenue of this line of reasoning:

    Come on down to you local Toyota Dealership and test drive the 2007 Toyota Infamy!
    Ranked highest in its class by JD War Powers & Associates – Now available in hybrid, too!

  131. cheech wizard
    December 7th, 2006 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    RMMD – Sorry to break it to everyone, but May isn’t dead. As Checkov put it, if a crack whore steps out of the meth lab for a breath of fresh air in Act 1, she will return in pissed off vengence in Act III to demand why her boyfriend didn’t come look for her. And will clean herself up, get a job and become a good mother. Just before Santa Claus arrives.

    BC – Johnny Hart’s right to still be pissed at the Japanese. Anyone who’s read Steve Canyon knows that Asians can’t be trusted. They bombed Pearl Harbor and someday we will have our revenge – say, sink their fleet, wipe out their army, firebomb their cities, nuke a couple of others for good measure, castrate their 2,000-year old institution of religion and state, obliterate their ancient military tradition and impose a new form of government on them. Oh, wait…

  132. teenchy
    December 7th, 2006 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    #122: I felt the same way. Later after reading BC I read this article re the Pearl Harbor survivors’ gathering:

    The most pertinent part IMO was this quote: There are those who are unable to forgive the Japanese, But others testify to the power of reconciliation.

    “There are some guys that are going to die with hate in their heart. I don’t have in me any hatred in my heart,” said 87-year-old survivor Lee Soucy, of Plainview, Texas. “They were doing their job just like we were.”

    Hyland, who was almost killed in the attack, married a woman from Japan. They met at the 50th Pearl Harbor anniversary and wed the following year.

    “I got over it a long time ago,” he said.

    Vicitms of the attack can find it in their hearts to forgive the Japanese, but Hart cannot? Not very Christian of him, is it?

  133. hogenmogen
    December 7th, 2006 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    So Niki gives June her purse back – thanks for subjecting us all to a week’s worth of harrowing tales of the DMV, Wilson & Nolan.

    June should have taken off like Niki said. Now she’s stuck waiting for a dead woman to come home. After 3 hours, Niki is finally done cleaning the house. After 6 hours, she gets a call from the clinic telling her there’s like a hundred sick kids waiting for her. After 12 hours, she starts to pleasure herself with the Genoa salami. After 24 hours she starts wishing she was back at the DMV.

  134. doug rogers
    December 7th, 2006 at 10:50 am [Reply]

    Actually Blondie has just discoverd she’s been cybering with Elvis…

  135. Abe
    December 7th, 2006 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    Your pager comments are a personal affront to me. I’m an audio visual tech and my company just recently bought me a pager. Of course it was because they didn’t want to pay for a cell phone, but I’d like to point out I’m not from 1998.

  136. hogenmogen
    December 7th, 2006 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    Would a real plugger even use a microwave, given their entrenched technophobic troglodyte lifestyle?

  137. Ian Cameron, Ph.D.
    December 7th, 2006 at 11:02 am [Reply]

    Foob – If this is the kind of incipit dialogue we can continue to expect should Paul move south to be with the White & Nerdys, then I’d just as soon see Liz hook up with Anthony.

  138. cheech wizard
    December 7th, 2006 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    JP – A TV news reporter who’s done her homework? Get real. Isn’t there a fire, car crash or murder somewhere that you could be covering by gluing your ear to the police scanner? Or did you read about Reggie’s D.U.I. and his wife’s (presumably private) trips to detox in the daily paper, which is where most TV news comes from in the first place.

  139. rich
    December 7th, 2006 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    Years ago, Barney Google ceded control of his strip to Snuffy Smith. Recently, Monty took over Robotman. Some have speculated that Ella Byrd may be angling for a takeover of the Mary Worth gig. I’d like to suggest some more:

    – Give Sexless Morgan MD over to the wacky antics of Elvis and Eightball!

    – Evict the aging denizens of A3G, and let Gina and Maynard take over!

    – And let that super-cute blonde reporter in today’s panel 2 be the new focus of Judge Parker! Out with all those blue-haired bores!!

  140. Alan Vanneman
    December 7th, 2006 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    Hmmm. I’m guessing “eightball” is an epithet, not a name. An “eightball” is a dope, a jerk, a loser, etc. If someone has already pointed this out, excuse me for not scrolling through twenty feet of inane banter! I have a job! A good job! A really good job!

  141. Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
    December 7th, 2006 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    #89: No, he’s a Blandinista.

  142. Chyron HR
    December 7th, 2006 at 11:14 am [Reply]

    Classic pluggers?

    Howzabout some classic TDIET, circa 1929?

    “Howcum Barflo took so long climbing up the stairs this morn…

    “But then that nerd jumped right out the window!”

    (The urge to vend his apples, but good!)

  143. The Great Ka Floopa-Gush
    December 7th, 2006 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    Hippy Frollyjons, everybody!

  144. TB Tabby
    December 7th, 2006 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    SF: “Nice use of the colon?!” I smell another t-shirt in the making!

  145. Charlotte
    December 7th, 2006 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    I never thought I would write this – especially given the snail like pace of MW over the past week and a half.
    BUT: What happened? I feel somewhat sad and empty inside. Where is the escalating Dent family confrontation? Where are the tears, the devestation, the pain? Damned Ella Byrd story line – build up with no climax . . . so deeply unsatisfying.

  146. TheChemist
    December 7th, 2006 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    GT: So, Bill spent the last three quarters stoned out of his mind, but in classic Gil Thorp fashion, we miss out on his hallucinations.
    On second thought, the GT reality is disjoined enough that I’m not sure I can tell the difference.

  147. Brendan
    December 7th, 2006 at 11:34 am [Reply]

    #122 – “Intaanmen – annamiraazu no honbu ugoite irai amari tsukinai tango desu.”

    Or “genshiryokubakudan” – take your pick.

  148. RoboMax
    December 7th, 2006 at 11:37 am [Reply]

    OBH: I actually laughed outloud at today’s One Big Happy. The little girl’s reaction along with the punchline just worked for me.

    Does that make me a bad person?

    TDIET: Have ya ever noticed that your professional life is meaningless and empty, then hehe…ya nearly die?!

    Oh yeah!

    Oh yeah!

  149. MGArchitect
    December 7th, 2006 at 11:37 am [Reply]

    I find everyone’s lack of sympathy for Theodore Beaver in Mark Trail to be quite disturbing. He is a symbol of the internal struggle we all face, the whole Man vs. Nature, Cosmic Karma, Dog eat Dog, and all. You are just trying to make your way in the world as an honest beaver and life throws all this crap at you.

    Yet, across the comics page, two scumbag meth dealers just blew a sizeable hole in a building and there is probably a body count. Yet, how are they suffering? Where’s the cosmic justice here?

    (shaking fist in air): There is no God!

  150. HappyNoodleGirl
    December 7th, 2006 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    After over a month of this storyline, I still think that Elvis actually is an out-of-work Serj Tankian who, took up meth cooking after getting booted from the musical short bus that is System of a Down.

  151. MGArchitect
    December 7th, 2006 at 11:44 am [Reply]

    So Ella is both psychic and telepathic. I’m not impressed. Now if she were telekinetic, that would impress me!

  152. Anonymous
    December 7th, 2006 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    1. One time some 5th grade students of mine had to act out a little play where kids refuse drugs from a dealer. An autistic kid in my class wrote up this hilarious exchange where two dealers named “Six Fingers” and “Eight Ball” tried to get a hapless victim to purchase their wares.

    It was the best day of teaching I ever had. I was so proud of that kid.

    2. I live in Naperville, and last time I checked, nope–not a damn plugger in sight.

  153. Brian
    December 7th, 2006 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    Dammit, that last comment was mine. Now I have blog-shame…

  154. Poppinjay
    December 7th, 2006 at 11:52 am [Reply]

    I’m really enjoying Mr. Dent’s interpretive dance. So few men perform in that discipline these days.

  155. gh
    December 7th, 2006 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    What is it with Bill Ritter in GT? Is he a major player (no pun intended)? My understanding is that Thorp coaches high school . . .well, everything, so characters drift through in roughly 4 year stretches. And because the strip is time-bound by actual sports seasons, that really is about 4 years. But, though the names change, the faces stay the same. There was the overweight blond kid brow-beaten by his mom, who I think lost weight and picked up a baseball scholarship — unless that’s him quarterbacking the team, or maybe the homeless one who is good at baskeball — or maybe both because the quarterback is more comfortable playing basketball (coming up next). So back to my original question: who is Bill Ritter, the Happy Amputee?

    And does anyone else have to turn to the Sports section to find GT? It’s like it’s too controversial for the comics page — like Doonesbury on the editorial page in some papers (but not mine — there it is right below Foxtrot, alas not for much longer).

    And I’ve been addicted to this site for several months but still don’t understand (DT)GT. DT what? Not Dick Tracy, is it? Huh?

  156. Cafangdra
    December 7th, 2006 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    When someone mashes together an e-mail address and a URL like this, you sort of get the impression that they’ve never actually seen a computer, but have had one described to them.

    Best ever. Best ever. This is the best blog in the universe.

  157. Anonymous
    December 7th, 2006 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    122: I have just written to my paper to complain about B.C., and I encourage everyone to do the same. It’s time for Hart’s reign of terror to draw to a close. (Pardon the pun.)

    Thanks for the idea, Toboggan!

  158. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    December 7th, 2006 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    #141 — LOL @ “urge to vend his apples, but good!”

    I think it would be funny if back in 1929, TDIET had been anachronistic even then, and stuck in a still prior time period.

    “Verily Silas doth remark quite oft to his helpmeet Prudence that his bowl of oats hath not been sufficiently heated… but hark! By and by is Silas presented with the oats, whereupon he leaves them cool awhile lest they scorch his lips! Forsooth!”

  159. The Photocopiest
    December 7th, 2006 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    Boy, kicked out of his home, chased by a lynx, foot in a trap, and now about to get run over. Next thing you know, someone will steal his briefcase.

  160. TB Tabby
    December 7th, 2006 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    #146: I wish I knew more Japanese…or that Babelfish translated Romaji.

    #147: No, of course not. If you laughed at today’s BC, though, we’d have you shipped directly to Devil”s Island.

  161. Basil Wrathbone
    December 7th, 2006 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    Seeing the bear creature in Pluggers anxiously anticipating the delicious goodies cooking in the microwave reminds me of all the fantastic meals my mom would pop from the freezer to the microwave to my plate, when she was too drunk to use the stove. Oh, I love feeling nostalgic at this time of year.

  162. gh
    December 7th, 2006 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    #157 Skullturf


  163. Gattamelata
    December 7th, 2006 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

    #18, Poteet:

    And per #17, Kelly Welly got HER part via the traditional casting couch. Sorry, Kelly, but the word is out about you.

    Poteet, I am shocked that you would suggest this. Not that I think Jack Elrod is too good to employ the casting couch, but that Kelly Welly isn’t good enough. I wouldn’t “cast” her for all the bears in captivity. Not the Jack Elrod version, anyway. The Em Stone version, sure, we can talk. But the one who actually appears in the strip is misshapen in a different way in each panel, and her hair morphs from one bad hairdo to the next at will. No, thanks.

  164. gh
    December 7th, 2006 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

    The wisest aunt, telling the saddest tale,
    Sometime for three-foot stool mistaketh me;
    Then slip I from her bum, down topples she,
    And ‘tailor’ cries, and falls into a cough;
    And then the whole quire hold their hips and laugh,
    And waxen in their mirth and neeze and swear
    A merrier hour was never wasted there.
    Oh, yeah!

    William ‘Al’ Shakespearuto

  165. anne
    December 7th, 2006 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

    157 Skullturf: I am laughing so hard I am crying. That is the most awesome thing EVER.

  166. Jerry Only
    December 7th, 2006 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    You should check out the Mary Worth after that. This is not Aldo good, yet this storyline rules.

  167. bootsybooks
    December 7th, 2006 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    #154 gh. (Helpfully) Because of the senseless randomness and blockhead shaped indeterminate gender beings who populate Gil Thorpeville, long time poster Islamorada Girl christened the strip (death to) Gil Thorpe, hence (DT)GT.

    There, I’ve done my part.

    Oh wait wait! Death to Gil Thorpe!

    Thanks again, I Girl.

  168. Dr. Forrester
    December 7th, 2006 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

    FC — “McElfresh” Isn’t that a brand of douche sold in Dublin?

  169. Eric
    December 7th, 2006 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

    Re: Today’s (12/7/06) Family Circus:

    If this is how Family Circus under the iron fist of Jeff Keane is going to roll, I’m strapping in for the ride.

    How do you draw “despair” anyway?

  170. Joe
    December 7th, 2006 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

    How many Plugger equivalents does a microwave serve as? It’s a beeper, a gourmet chef, and an abortion clinic all in one! It’s like a Plugger Swiss-Army Knife, if such a thing wouldn’t tear a hole in reality if it existed.

  171. ChefMike
    December 7th, 2006 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    Curtis: I think Ray Billingsley needs to read a bible, or at least stick to those strange Kwanzaa fables he constructs every year. Christmas pageant is a cute idea, but get your characters right for cryin out loud! Doesn’t he realize he’s stuck an Old Testament figure in a New Testament story? I find it hard to believe that a public school would dare to do anything at all biblically themed for the Generic Winter Solstice Celebration (the holiday formerly known as Christmas.) If they do manage to pull it off, the next day Barry’s principal will be getting a visit from the ACLU.
    FW: I guess Lisa is smiling because the party has successfully taken her mind off her predicament for the moment, but I feel though, that since this is the Winkerbeanerverse, the birth which will happen in 8 or so months will coincide with her ultimately succumbing to the disease. Half the gang will be in the maternity ward and the other half will be in the waiting room outside the ICU. I do think they’re going to try to reunite mother and son before she dies, though.
    TDIET: really can’t say anything that hasn’t already been said. I’m sure if I did an informal survey of all the archeologists I know, I bet he could attest that this does indeed happen all the time.
    SF: I’m in agreement that there should be a “Nice Use of Colon ” shirt.
    MT: “…and as Mark swerves his jeep to miss the beaver, and Molly tries to get a little too affectionate, the jeep goes sailing off the cliff…and suddenly there’s a collective feeling of Deja Vu”

  172. Dr. Forrester
    December 7th, 2006 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    #86 … “I BRAKE FOR BEAVER” bumpersticker on it.

    There’s a Bill Clinton joke in there screaming to get out……..

  173. Tenderfoot
    December 7th, 2006 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    Did Liz, as I hope, break April’s neck when she slammed her with that pillow? Does that curlicue emanating from April’s supine form represent the escape of her tiny little soul, or is it just a fart?

    Oh, and Paul? Get a clue from Liz’s “kissie-kissie” repartee. Stay in Mtiggywinkle! You’re about to be Pattersonized!

  174. MaryAnnTheRest
    December 7th, 2006 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

    154: (DT)GT means Death to Gil Thorp. It’s like the opposite of l337 speak: internet acronyms by people who get strongly emotional over Gil Thorp.

    More TDIET, circa 1929:
    “Didja ever notice? Leadbutt goes on and on about how many barn raisings he’s been to … but what did Mr. Generosity get the ol’ neighbors for Christ’s birthday? Typhoid!! Oh Yeah!!”

  175. roydrink
    December 7th, 2006 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    #80 – You don’t get Foxtrot?

    Wait until you’ve a teanage daughter, you’ll get it in spades…

  176. Scoopernicus
    December 7th, 2006 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

    Beepers are cool again. In last weeks 30 Rock, The Funny Baldwin buys a beeper from Tina Fey’s boyfriend because he’s expecting a call from 1983. I guess that makes him a Plugger.

    I saw that episode too. It was the Funny Baldwin’s sarcastic way of saying it that made the joke.

  177. Jack Drake
    December 7th, 2006 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    #146 – Either my romanji-fu is weak or yours is. I couldn’t find half those words in my romanji dictionary. Translation?

  178. MonkeyHawk
    December 7th, 2006 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    RE: Skullturf’s and gh’s TDIETs –

    It’s obvious this is a cyber gathering of fellow Liberal Arts majors, so I’d like to ask for a bit of career advice:

    How do you get the pizza smell out of your car at the end of a shift?

  179. Ellie M.
    December 7th, 2006 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    “We’re leaving your Father the Philanderer!”

    How nice of them to leave him the philanderer!

  180. gh
    December 7th, 2006 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    #s 166 & 173

    Thanks for buying me a clue. I tried all sorts of possibilities — many of them unprintable — but Death To works best. There’s a great line from Kurt Vonnegut’s “Happy Birthday, Wanda June,” something like “That man speaks German like my ass chews gum.” Something like that could be said of the way (DT)GT — count me in — is drawn. What is it with the characters who look like half-melted voodoo wax figures? I’ve been reading it for years and don’t understand the first thing about it. I can barely remember that Milford is the home team. It is, right? The Fighting Mugwumps?

  181. MGArchitect
    December 7th, 2006 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

    My contribution to the TDIET, circa 192 (I’m dropping the extra 9):



  182. gh
    December 7th, 2006 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

    #177 MonkeyHawk


    And I have a theory that the government tracks the rate of under-employment by the number of comments on this site each day. Thanks for contributing to the economic downturn.

  183. Scoopernicus
    December 7th, 2006 at 1:15 pm [Reply]


    Midsummer’s night Dream. Seen it Four separate times, once at the Barbican, directed it, and seen it as a ballet.

    I know what the Puck is going on…

  184. Da Scrodfather
    December 7th, 2006 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    FOOB– If a pillow is hard enough to KO your sister, odds are it’s too hard to sleep on.

    MW– “We’re leaving your father the philanderer!” Typo Alert! She means “We’re leaving your father the philodendron [the flower in the hall] and keeping the house and everything in it!”

  185. TB Tabby
    December 7th, 2006 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    Non Sequitur: Isn’t that the Roaming Gnome from those Travelocity ads? I think the last thing he needs is more travel.

  186. gh
    December 7th, 2006 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    #182 Scoopernicus

    I’ve only taught it umpteen times, but it tops the charts. And the film version with Diana Rigg? Rroww! She makes Margo look like a foob.

  187. Gattamelata
    December 7th, 2006 at 1:44 pm [Reply]


    Rex Morgan: I predict that, when Elvis and June meet, there will be some serious fireworks. First they will clash, each attempting to bully, insult and belittle the other. Soon, however, this animosity will transform to lust: Elvis will want the buttoned-down nurse/sadist, and June will finally give in to her long-suppressed lust for the “bad boy” who needs to be “punished.” Nikki will be quickly forgotten, unless he says something, in which case Elvis will break his jaw again and June will call him a “little shit.”

    Mark Trail: Speaking of the jeep, where did he GET that thing? Is Lost Forest actually located in Normandy shortly after D-Day?

    Phantom: Wow the police in this country are apathetic. “I was just talking to a guy and now I can’t see him! Oh, well. I guess we’ll never know where he lives.” Hey, this is gonna sound crazy, detective, but what if we try looking for him? It’ll mean walking around, but it just might work! And why do you care where he lives? How about asking him what happened?

  188. Non-Shannon
    December 7th, 2006 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    163 gh:
    Yaaay! A generous mouthful of coffee spewed on my employer’s computer to thee!
    Oh, and, COTW!

  189. Old Fogeyette
    December 7th, 2006 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    Help, all! I’m in the midst of confusion and chaos, and haven’t had time to read CC, let alone the comics for two days. But I just checked MT and GA, and… wtf?

    Did Walt die and I missed it?

    Is Theodore going to be rescued by Mark and Molly? Will there really be a spinoff comic with our two favorite forest creatures?

    Hope to be back reading the posts by the weekend, but those up till now will have to go forever unread except for those that make COTW and runner up.

    Also, in case no one mentioned it, Brewster Rockitt is having a very funny metastory.

  190. Baby D’oh
    December 7th, 2006 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    Re: Slylock Fox –

    Seeing the words “female hair” and “male hair” in conjunction with Dagwood Bumstead is an experience akin to having warm vomit poured all over your person. Only less potentially pleasurable.

  191. winky
    December 7th, 2006 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    i learned something new reading shylock fox … i never knew that was hair sticking out of dagwood’s head – i always assumed they were antennae.

  192. SmartPeopleOnIce
    December 7th, 2006 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    Jeez, I get stuck in jury duty for a week and the comics decend into a Bacchanalian jamboree of exploding meth labs, beaver mutilation, and Nyquil-flavored incest. Not to mention like a jazillion comments to catch up on. My only ray of hope is Mary Worth, which is exactly where it was when I left.

    Wait, did I just use MW and “ray of hope” in the same sentence? Man, I’m out of order, you’re out of order, the whole system is out of order.


    #86 (yellowjkt) Hopefully, Mark’s jeep has a “I BRAKE FOR BEAVER” bumpersticker on it …

    #129 (hogenmogen) JD War Powers & Associates…

    #157 (S.Q.B, esq.) [ comment text omitted for brevity ]

    #163 (gh) [ comment text omitted for brevity ]

    Goddam I missed you people…

  193. cheech wizard
    December 7th, 2006 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

    188- Fogeyette – Nope, Walt is still alive and well – the Old Comics Home is apparently supposed to be a real place, because his caretaker and the SS lady went there looking for him. Walt’s being sheltered by the other comic characters, who misinterpreted the SS lady’s inquiries to mean that the feds are after him.

    I still think he’s going to end up moving in with his buddies at the CC Home as a painless way of dispatching his 106-year-old ass.

    BTW, the GA web site has old strips going back at least a year if you feel the need to catch up. Just look it up using The Google.

  194. Dr. Forrester
    December 7th, 2006 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

    “BTW, the GA web site has old strips going back at least a year”

    This is GA we’re talking about. A strip best timed by counting rings on a redwood log. For a GA strip to be considered “old” , it would have been written about the the time Ella from MW was earning her living satifying returning doughboys in the ruble seat of a Model T.

  195. Dr. Forrester
    December 7th, 2006 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

    err… ruble = rumble (unless of course she was having a roll in the sack with V.I. Lenin)

  196. SNF
    December 7th, 2006 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

    Surely heaven should be a .org?

  197. gh
    December 7th, 2006 at 2:33 pm [Reply]


    Nice save. Reminds me of the troika scene in Dr. Zhivago.

  198. srah
    December 7th, 2006 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

    “Heaven is a dot org” would be a great song.

  199. anne
    December 7th, 2006 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

    185 gh: you’re saying Diana Rigg was in a movie version of Midsummer? OMG this is going to turn me into a lesbian for sure.

  200. Baby D’oh
    December 7th, 2006 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    #198 – food for your imminent lesbianism:

    #23, #12 – Actually, he’s not paying her. Those are Gumby dolls. The odd shape is a result of their being warped in the Plugger beeper.

  201. gh
    December 7th, 2006 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    #198 Anne

    It’s true. Though as fine a thespian as she is, I still can’t imagine her in anything other than a form-fitting leather jumpsuit.

  202. anne
    December 7th, 2006 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

    200 gh: yes! with holes in odd places.

    Anwyay, that’s been added to my netflix queue.

  203. gh
    December 7th, 2006 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    201 Anne

    Odd? Why odd? They’re perfectly reasonable places. OK, where’s my inhaler — I’m hyper-ventilating. I better go lie down.

  204. yggdrasil
    December 7th, 2006 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    … There is a LAN party
    everyone is there
    everyone will ping
    at exactly the same rate

    It’s hard to believe
    that in 2006
    someone doesn’t know
    what an e-mail looks like

    Heaven is a place
    A place with different
    Internet protocols…

  205. Old Fogeyette
    December 7th, 2006 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    Thank you, Cheech Wizard! If the Old Comics Home is a “real” place then maybe we’ll get to see more of it and its residents. I look forward to that. I may have to add GA to my comix subscription.

  206. the mad punter
    December 7th, 2006 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

    & in an effort make Blondie topical, we learn Alexander “Elvis” Bumstead had been emailing with Mark Foley.

  207. Allie Cat
    December 7th, 2006 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

    #177 – Not all Liberal Arts degree holders deliver pizzas. A great many of us work in call centers.

    I live in Nashville where the perennial joke is:

    How do you get a songwriter off your porch?

    Pay him for the pizza.

  208. Little Nemo
    December 7th, 2006 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

    As a public defender, I deal with meth heads on a daily basis. I regret to inform you that I know the origin of the term “eightball.”

    Eightball refers to a weighted amount of methamphetamine. It’s an eighth of an ounce, or 3.5 grams. Enough for a day for a user.

    So the name is appropriate. However, no black guys ever use or sell meth.

  209. MonkeyHawk
    December 7th, 2006 at 3:10 pm [Reply]


    I think I’m a Lesbian trapped in a male body.

  210. gh
    December 7th, 2006 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

    Oh for a lesbian trapped in a thespian’s body . . .

  211. Forthillrox
    December 7th, 2006 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    I keep reading reading “eightball” and keep thinking it’s a reference to the uber-cool alt weekly comic Lulu Eightball: . I think it is one of the only comics that I laugh at every time I read it.

  212. andreavis
    December 7th, 2006 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    #207- my admiration for Eightball has grown exponentially. He’s a true entrepreneur– he’s seen a need for meth in the black community, and is now rushing to fill it. I mean really rushing; he and Elvis have got to unload that stuff pretty quickly!

    Oh wait, maybe his clients are white, in which case they could just head down to the local Wal-Mart parking lot and have a “Going out of Business” sale out of their trunk. Hot dog carts do a pretty brisk business in Wal-Mart parking lots on the weekends, so they’d do pretty well– their product is probably healthier for you.

  213. Oracle Steven
    December 7th, 2006 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    BC – Mr. Hart, just because the president said it was a day that would live in infamy you don’t have to hold a grudge for sixty years. If you don’t like Toyota, buy a BMW.

    RMMD – I’m pretty sure the criminals are driving a rental. Also, I seem to be out-of-date on my street-thug slang, because it appears that there’s some real concern in the first panel that a Miami basketball team is going to show up to watch the meth lab burn. Why is that? And finally, why don’t they turn their heads to talk to each other? Are they supposed to look shifty by looking out of the corners of their eyes?

  214. scuppers
    December 7th, 2006 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

    #158 — I’m thinking Theo is lying on the road to the Morgan residence and that Rex and June are going to combine their awesome medical talents to revive him — he’ll make a fine pet for their newly adopted son, Niki. (Meanwhile, somewhere downstream, a beaver’s lodge explodes and another direct sales ‘opportunity’ ends in disaster…)

    I finally got around to checking out the Family Zoo manga. The Keanes are messing with the FC readership, big time. You can almost smell the contempt (but you don’t want to)

  215. cheech wizard
    December 7th, 2006 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    207- Nemo – Actually, it originally referred to cocaine, then was appropriated by meth users as it became more popular.

    204- Fogey – Perhaps, but I’ll stick to my original prediction that the Old Comics Home and Walt will both disappear after the current episode, at least until it’s time for it to lay its clammy hands on Skeezix as well.

    212 – Oracle – If you don’t like Toyota, buy a BMW – priceless.

  216. Mr. O’Malley
    December 7th, 2006 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

    113. # vanya says:
    TDIET – Since Ferd is an archeologist, not a paleontologist, and since he is digging right next to the pyramids, a well picked over cultural site not likely to contain fossils in the first place, shouldn’t we assume that he has never found a bone because he isn’t looking for them? Most archeologists digging in Egypt are looking for, you know, old buildings and cultural artifacts.

    I think you’re underestimating the sophistication of this cartoon.

    Ferd (despite his inappropriate surname) is an archeologist. He’s excavating the living quarters of the pyramid workers. Many historians believe that the pyramid workers lived on a diet of bread and lentils. But Ferd has a big grant from Tyson Foods to research his theory that heavy manual labor sustained over a long period requires the consumption of chickens.

    Unfortunately, he has not discovered any chicken bones at the dig site. But while lunching at the Hotel Luxor, he chokes on a chicken bone, dying an ironic death very similar to that of Lord Carnarvon in 1922.

  217. Cornwhacker
    December 7th, 2006 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

    188, 192-3: Gasoline Alley is currently being reprinted in hardcover from the begining. They’re up to 1924 now:
    I haven’t actually read them, but the collections look really nice.

  218. Old Fogeyette
    December 7th, 2006 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

    214 Cheech–
    >>I’ll stick to my original prediction that the Old Comics Home and Walt will both disappear after the current episode, at least until it’s time for it to lay its clammy hands on Skeezix as well.

    You know, that’s really a lovely idea. I wouldn’t mind going to the Old Comics Home instead of actually, you know, dying.

    Does this mean I can quit reading GA? Will someone alert me if the Home reappears?

  219. Gal Friday
    December 7th, 2006 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

    #86 & #117 MT: What was that bump? A big circle with “Jack Elrod” in it?!

    There is no way that Molly would eat Theodore Beaver. She eats sunshine and cotton candy!

    FW: Who is the “merry little band” he’s talking about?! This is Funky Winkerbean, for crying out loud, so it’s “gloomy gaggle of losers”. How can we make FW go away?

    Phantom: He can hide behind a horse and cause a plane to crash. Then he can hide behind a palm tree while ON a horse. My admiration grows and grows.

  220. Mike
    December 7th, 2006 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

    Regardless of the origin of the term “eightball,” I learned everything I needed to know about it from Vanilla Ice songs.

  221. arlo
    December 7th, 2006 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

    Father the Philanderer, meet Dick the Doorbell.

  222. Gal Friday
    December 7th, 2006 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

    MT: Oh, speaking of the Jack Elrod bubble, does anyone remember the Prisoner TV series with Patrick McGoohan. When the Prisoner tries to escape the Village by sea, there’s this huge blobbery ball that beats him back to land. That’s what the “Jack Elrod” bubble is: a security device for Lost Forest–you can hit the bubble, but you can’t escape it!

  223. cheech wizard
    December 7th, 2006 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

    Fogyette – No, you have to tough it out with the rest of us, at least until the current episode draws to a close. Though I suspect someone here will pipe up if the OCH shows up again.

  224. joel
    December 7th, 2006 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

    WTF is a plugger? and WHY is the comics page alienating me?

  225. Poteet
    December 7th, 2006 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

    #54 — Gadge, that was rather amazing.

    #71 — Summerhouse, is this classic Funky or what? Even as a FW newbie, I would expect that any pronouncement that would usually be greeted with enthusiasm would, in this strip, cause gloom in someone. And probably for some good reason, though I have no idea what it is.

    #107 — Lyman, I agree about April. Actually, I’m quite weary of seeing Pattersons assault other Pattersons with pillows. I suppose it’s meant to warm my heart, seeing their affectionate playful family violence, but it doesn’t.

    #139 — Alan, thanks for a good laugh. If you ever read this:-).

    #178 — Ellie, that was excellent.

    #185 & 198 — Thanks, gh! When I was a junior high kid addicted to THE AVENGERS, I decided that Diana Rigg was the sexiest woman in the entire universe. I still pretty much think that. And yes, Anne, she’s wonderful in that production. I just have to add that as far as I know, Diana Rigg is the only Bond Girl that James B. ever actually married, which speaks for his good taste, although their marriage was really really really really short (bang).

  226. Poteet
    December 7th, 2006 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

    Per #224, the “bang” referred to the murder of the bride, not the honeymoon. James B. and his dependents are not good insurance risks.

  227. horse_with_no_name
    December 7th, 2006 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

    Mr. Dewey needs to be more careful with his cash. Brill-Cream doesn’t grow on trees, you know.

  228. Poteet
    December 7th, 2006 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

    RMMD — Actually, I think “My girlfriend is one of those stiffs, Eightball!” is a pretty good line.

  229. Audible Sigh
    December 7th, 2006 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

    I skipped to the end, but if it hadn’t been pointed out already, just under a week ago Big Top mentioned Lio. Hopefully it’s never too late to submit a comics crossover.

  230. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    December 7th, 2006 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

    Hey Joel #223 — I grew up in Victoria and now live in Toronto!

  231. Audible Sigh
    December 7th, 2006 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

    Oh yeah, someone mentioned Off the Mark and there are quite a few comic parodies there.

  232. hogenmogen
    December 7th, 2006 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: Eightball never opens his mouth when he talks. I think on Dec 5 he was grimacing and we see his perfectly whitened teeth, but every other day that he appears his lips do not move. He speaks with the power of his mind. In contrast, Elvis is a screaming maniac.

    I also agree with Cheech (#130) that May is alive.

  233. Forthillrox
    December 7th, 2006 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

    If I could set that fourth panel in today’s FOOB as my avatar, I would.

  234. Gal Friday
    December 7th, 2006 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

    MW: At least we know philanderer’s first name is “Gary” now.

  235. Steve S
    December 7th, 2006 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

    In retrospect on my original comment, the widow’s pointing hand in Momma actually looks like the “cock-and-balls” doodle I think most little boys learned in elementary or junior high school.

  236. majolo
    December 7th, 2006 at 5:15 pm [Reply]

    I just have to add my gape-jawed admiration to Jeff Hebert’s Disco Dent. I wish CC had a Hall of Fame area where you could collect things like this, the various Kelrast memorial videos, Uncle Lumpy’s brilliant pastiches, etc.

  237. Red Greenback
    December 7th, 2006 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

    145; I dunno, the entire (DT) Gil Thorp strip has a bit of the Second Bardo of the Tibetan Book of the Dead in it’s portrayal of human features.

    Today in L.A. Times comic section; Baby Blues is on the left side of Brewster Rocket, so it appears Marcuseses’s sister is distracted by Brewster’s ass.

    “Eightball” was also 90′s slang for O.E. (Old English 800)

  238. Islamorada Girl
    December 7th, 2006 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: I predict! I predict somehow or another, thought a series of contrivances so phony they would make Dickens blush, Elvis and Eightball (Eightball! Isn’t that what killed John Belushi?) will end up holding June and Niki hostage. Hilarity ensues.

  239. SarcasticAcid
    December 7th, 2006 at 5:47 pm [Reply]

    I’m surprised that nobody has mentioned the probably unintentional, but creepily appropriate coloring in the last panel of today’s Curtis. Barry, while indignant about his brother’s accusation that he wets the bed, is apparently such a prolific bedwetter that he is apparently emitting actual sonar waves of piss.

  240. Sam Frank
    December 7th, 2006 at 6:02 pm [Reply]

    It’s a little unsettling that the tombstone is far larger than either of the women. It’s also casting a shadow on what appears to be the clear sky behind them. I am tragically unfamiliar with the world of this strip.

  241. Red Greenback
    December 7th, 2006 at 6:16 pm [Reply]

    RE 236: …Oh, fer cryin’ out loud! I meant “Jump Start’” not “Baby Blues” Hope that did not send too many people scurrying around trying to figure it out, wondering,… WTF Red?

  242. Poteet
    December 7th, 2006 at 6:36 pm [Reply]

    #162 — Good point, Gattamelata. In my admittedly-insane fantasy, however, those who “cast” the strips are themselves comic characters. So Kelly Welly would have demonstrated her, um, acting abilities for another comic character, apparently one who doesn’t mind morphing hair.

  243. Dr. Forrester
    December 7th, 2006 at 7:16 pm [Reply]

    #240: Actually having Wanda from “Baby Blues” pop out a black kid from “Jump Start” really would send the strip off on a whole new tangent!

  244. MossMoses
    December 7th, 2006 at 7:29 pm [Reply]

    233. GalFriday: I’m disapointed the Clark Gable-like womanizer is named Gary. I was hoping for Stuart, as in “Stu Dent”. Maybe Ella is using the little nail at the end of Citizen Cane to pick those bills up that he threw in her face.

    Dennis Rodman’s father is actually named Philander and he really lives up to his name. He’s supposedly fathered over 50 children in the Phillipines. I wonder what the clairvoyant biddy would say to him…

  245. Harry Paratestes
    December 7th, 2006 at 7:51 pm [Reply]

    FOOB: Ah, I’m glad that Liz finally used a pillowcase full of doorknobs to KO April. Smacked her so hard, in fact, that it appears to have knocked the stink right out of April’s cooter.

  246. Islamorada Girl
    December 7th, 2006 at 8:35 pm [Reply]

    The Adventures of Gary Dent, Philanderer! Coming soon to a Gannet newspaper near you.

  247. Marion Delgado
    December 7th, 2006 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

    Elvis looked years younger once he stopped touring. But considering the profession he TOOK UP, no wonder he stayed out of the public eye!

    Elvis – the King Lives

  248. AhClem
    December 7th, 2006 at 8:56 pm [Reply]

    MT – Molly doesn’t understand why Mark is ONCE AGAIN threatening her life by driving like a goddamned moron, with all 4 wheels off the ground.

  249. Dingo
    December 7th, 2006 at 8:58 pm [Reply]

    I give credit to Lynn Johnston. In today’s FOOB, Lizard is talking on the telephone with the great, wonderful, large-schozzed defender of Canada in the Great White North, her studmonkey Paul, when Apwil enters the room seemingly to listen in to the conversation but in actuality to spread her scent over Liz’ sheets. She’s thwapped with a pillowcase filled with, it seems, anvils.

    I give credit to Lynn Johnston for convincingly drawing a skank scent ascending from Apwil’s honeypot. I didn’t think it was possible, but she did it!

  250. Dingo
    December 7th, 2006 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

    That should be “large-schnozzed.”

  251. AhClem
    December 7th, 2006 at 9:02 pm [Reply]

    A3G – Indiana Jones’ comment about the loft being drafty, his downward glance, and Luann’s shocked expression can only mean one thing: her nipples are so cold they’re protruding through her shirt like leathery doorknobs.

  252. Red Greenback
    December 7th, 2006 at 9:08 pm [Reply]

    Some Gary Gent anagrams:
    …and my fave,

  253. Red Greenback
    December 7th, 2006 at 9:10 pm [Reply]

    Oops!..the names Dent, Gary Dent

  254. Dingo
    December 7th, 2006 at 9:10 pm [Reply]

    I don’t know how to put this into words other than…


  255. don hosek
    December 7th, 2006 at 9:11 pm [Reply]

    Actually, I found today’s (12/7) FC to be quite funny in a dark way. Until I read the caption. But take out the caption and this could be in any alternative newspaper.

  256. Dingo
    December 7th, 2006 at 9:12 pm [Reply]

    Molly does not understand why the trampoline rejects her advances.

  257. Poteet
    December 7th, 2006 at 9:19 pm [Reply]

    #238 — Islamorada Girl, I think you may be right. I suppose the hilarity might come in part from the confrontation between June and Eightball. I’d have to place my bet on June. Eightball’s kind of scary, but June is terrifying.

    #245 — Interesting, Harry. I wasn’t aware that April had a pet freshwater river turtle.

  258. Red Greenback
    December 7th, 2006 at 9:20 pm [Reply]

    254 Dingo: Was that filmed in Jackel Rod’s backyard?

  259. Badly_Computer_Animated_Boy
    December 7th, 2006 at 9:25 pm [Reply]

    I’m trying, but I can’t think of anything that tops being incinerated in a meth lab explosion as The Worst First Day At A New Job Ever.

  260. Baby D’oh
    December 7th, 2006 at 9:41 pm [Reply]

    #259: How ’bout being incinerated in a meth lab explosion while country music plays in the background 24/7? That actually happened at my old job.

    The second part, I mean.

    P.S. The first part was but a fond hope.

  261. Dadzilla
    December 7th, 2006 at 9:46 pm [Reply]

    Want to know ALL about the evolution of comics? I found this at my local library today….”Art out of Time” ‘Unknown comic visionaries 1900-1969′, by Dan Nadel.

  262. Gattamelata
    December 7th, 2006 at 9:46 pm [Reply]

    Wow, I didn’t read Mallard Fillmore until just now. What a hack!

    I’m pretty sure “ever vigilant” means that you should be watching for the next upcoming attack, not retreading 65 year old problems that are largely, you know, solved. I mean, I haven’t heard much mention of the Greater East Asia Co-Prosperity Sphere lately. You dig?

    I’m also pretty sure that students don’t turn to the comics to get their history lessons. And if they did, they wouldn’t have learned much from Mallard Fillmore today except that something happened on 12/11/41.

    And, finally, it seems clear that the vile author just uses his calendar as a way of avoiding having to come up with a joke. He saw “Pearl Harbor Day” on his calendar and thought “Sweet! This strip writes itself! Good morning, bloody mary!”

  263. Jimmy
    December 7th, 2006 at 9:53 pm [Reply]

    WOW !! 263 comments… My God, shouldn’t we be out Christmas shopping or something ?

  264. Gattamelata
    December 7th, 2006 at 9:55 pm [Reply]

    #242, Poteet:

    No, your fantasy is coherent, and it’s more plausible that a similarly misshapen creature would find Kelly Welly to be an ideal candidate for the casting couch. I have only one question:

    Who, in your fantasy, “cast” Kelly Welly?

  265. PInk Haired Girl
    December 7th, 2006 at 9:56 pm [Reply]

    I can just hear Mr. Dent’s left hand in panel one in Mary’s World.

  266. Poteet
    December 7th, 2006 at 10:26 pm [Reply]

    #264 — Gattamelata, actually I was sort of vaguely thinking that maybe Buck “cast” Kelly for this particular misadventure, with the idea that in the comics, roles are more fluid than in Hollywood, and the actors more easily double as casting directors, producers, suppliers of illicit substances, etc. I think you are very kind to call this “coherent”:-).

  267. Kingo
    December 7th, 2006 at 10:47 pm [Reply]


  268. Ben
    December 7th, 2006 at 11:04 pm [Reply]

    #267, that about tops me off as far as vicarious sexual trauma goes.

    RMMD: Elvis has twinge of conscience when boss Eightball (Christ on a crutch!) tells him to off girlfriend’s kid? Fine.

    Elvis showing anxiety by rolling eyes and biting his lip? No, sorry. I can’t accept this. He wouldn’t last as long as he has in the meth biz without ridding himself of the teengirl body language.

  269. Gattamelata
    December 7th, 2006 at 11:23 pm [Reply]

    #266, Poteet:

    I was sort of vaguely thinking that maybe Buck “cast” Kelly for this particular misadventure

    Wha… who? Buck? Who’s Buck? I’m so lost! I only found this site two weeks ago and I hadn’t read any of these strips for fifteen years before that. Then again, my ignorance led me to this Wikipedia article about Mark Trail, which shows that it used to have really cool artwork with great style and pretty good action sequences. Seeing this makes me weep – weep! – for what Mark Trail has become.

    I think you are very kind to call this “coherent”:-)

    I am just buttering you up so that when I work up the courage to share my Mark Trail fantasies, you won’t call them “degenerate.” Instead, I am hoping, you will just think back on my “coherent” comment and refrain from commenting.

  270. Summerhouse
    December 7th, 2006 at 11:33 pm [Reply]

    #254 – Dingo: Oh my Freakin’ God that is so hilarious! The way her front legs pedal frantically in the air before the face plant – bwahaha! I am second to none, not even Poteet, in my love for Molly the Best Bear in the World, so I am sickened by my laughter. I have to go watch it again. Bye.

  271. mumbles
    December 7th, 2006 at 11:34 pm [Reply]

    FW: The couple is only one month along, it seems. A lot of people wait until the first trimester is over before announcing a pregnancy. I think we’re being set up for another bump on FW’s Boulevard of Broken Dreams here…..

  272. Jonathan Bogart
    December 7th, 2006 at 11:40 pm [Reply]

    217. Cornwhacker:

    Those early Gasoline Alley reprints showcase one of the high points of the comic strip as an art form. I think most people here would love them, even though they’re not as easily-snarkable as the stuff that inhabits the paper today.

  273. Summerhouse
    December 7th, 2006 at 11:49 pm [Reply]

    #111 Hogenmogen:
    Today’s Ballard Street is actually quite straight forward; almost cutesy. Maybe that’s what threw you off. That, and it’s drawn really strangely. You got your basic old dude sporting a pocket protector complete with pens ( that’s what that mess in the corner is) and he’s talking on the phone. Why he is drawn as though we, the viewers, are trying to stand on top of him, I don’t know. Then you’ve got Scooter, the dog, who is afraid he’ll miss something, so he drapes his ear over the old dude’s head, so he (Scooter) can hear better. It’s cute.

  274. Poteet
    December 8th, 2006 at 12:01 am [Reply]

    #269 — Gattamelata, welcome! I’m not about to diss anyone else’s MT fantasies unless they involve animal cruelty. (And for purposes of this paragraph, Kelly Welly is classified as human.)

    “Buck” is the owner of Molly, and he drove his pickup off a small cliff while being frenched by her (I kid you not). He’s in the hospital now, longing for Molly to visit him more often, and if it’s really Mark he longs for, I don’t want to know. Buck can be seen in the 11/30 strip.

    I checked that MT link you provided and agree about the artwork. Though I’m glad there’s less bearacide in the strip now. Some of us got sucked into MT because of Molly, and now there’s Theodore the Hapless Beaverboy, and we’ll probably never escape.

  275. MonkeyHawk
    December 8th, 2006 at 12:02 am [Reply]

    #267 – Kingo:

    I think I speak for everyone here when I say, “Ewwwww!”

  276. Poteet
    December 8th, 2006 at 12:08 am [Reply]

    #270 — Summerhouse, I can’t access Dingo’s link, but your vivid description made me laugh sickeningly also. But I know it wasn’t really actually Molly The Best Bear In The World, so I think we’re okay. Basically.

  277. Anonymous
    December 8th, 2006 at 12:33 am [Reply]

    lol @ #204

    Talking Heads, btw

  278. BewaretheCreeper
    December 8th, 2006 at 12:39 am [Reply]

    #271 Awesome dude, COTW!

  279. Meander
    December 8th, 2006 at 12:46 am [Reply]

    Something has gone drastically wrong and Brewster
    Rockit has been literally (ok, not literally) transported
    to the funny pages this week.

    The first strip even acknowledges you!

    The second strip references the dead cartoonist strips.

    The third (today’s) strip features a crossover.

  280. efab
    December 8th, 2006 at 1:16 am [Reply]

    Family Circus/
    Bil’s Shapely Waist-Watch
    —12.7.06 alert!
    Also, lookit those spindly ankles!

  281. MonkeyHawk
    December 8th, 2006 at 1:22 am [Reply]

    I wish I had Gary Dent’s interior decorator. Who else could get me a six-foot-tall granite bust of Ella Byrd for my living room?

  282. fillmoreeast
    December 8th, 2006 at 1:30 am [Reply]

    I will now say something positive about the 12/7 Foob: note how Lizard is already reaching for the pillow in panel 2; she knows what April’s going to do, and is making sure she’s armed. That’s well done. Of course, the rest is crap, but credit for that little detail.


    Foob: John is unwilling to mediate this little tiff because he’s busy tying little models of his daughters to the tracks of his railroad set. Also, “well, that was manure” earns a spot in the Lynn Johnston Is Tone-Deaf To How Real Teenagers Talk Hall of Fame. Lizard, move out of the damn house. You’re, like, 45 or something.

    Mallard: Wait, now Tinsley, through the duck, is trying to claim the flat tax was his idea? One word: confit.

    Spidey: Screw it, Ock. Just smack ‘em together till they stop moving, then go get eight beers.

    BC: Dear God. Actual sorta humor. I need to lie down.

    Pluggers: One can only hope the Kelpfroths live downstairs.

    Prickly City: has been fun the past few days.

    Family Circus: “… and the paramedics using the defibrillator on Daddy!”

    Monty: MAGIC.

  283. Craig Shergold
    December 8th, 2006 at 1:32 am [Reply]

    Ah, the Doggie Diner MT-sized dachshund head saga! Someone in SF owns three of them in a warehouse and trots them out for the occasional sooper-qewl-SF-subculture happening. I got to see them at the Laughing Squid 11th anniversary bar party.

  284. Poteet
    December 8th, 2006 at 1:40 am [Reply]


    MT — From ginormous scary animals, we have moved on to ginormous scary children. Theodore will stroke out when this weird kid looms over him.

    MW — Okay, now I absolutely demand a giant gray floating Aldo sometime in the next few days.

    RMMD — Oh come on now. First Wilson and Nolan tell us that Niki is thirteen, and then they give us the grown hulk in the first panel. Make up your minds, guys! Though I give you credit for deciding that June will be permanently pissed off from now on.

    FW — Even fertility is depressing in the Funkiverse. What a fool I was to enter therein.

  285. blase
    December 8th, 2006 at 1:47 am [Reply]

    MT: Panel 1: A tiny sketch of Mark and pals in the jeep, driving underneath a giant squirrel. Panel 2: GAAAH! Suddenly, a giant zoom-in closeup of Beaver Boy’s gap-toothed mug.

    I didn’t know one could get motion sick from looking at a comic strip. Or at least I think that’s what it is.

  286. Craig Shergold
    December 8th, 2006 at 1:59 am [Reply]

    108: If his wife is his “sidekick”, well, all sidekicks are gay. Making “her” his “wife”.

  287. Mibbitmaker
    December 8th, 2006 at 2:04 am [Reply]


    H&L: This must be how Scaduto writes his captions and dialogue.

    FOOB: Ha, ha! See how Liz mocks her sister for being immature, but – Oh, Yeah! – she’s all like a little baby. A baby with adult woman’s lips. More than when she was an actual kid. Or most of her adult life until recently. But her li’l niece has those lips, and she is a little child. But…Huh….See, she…uh……….but she’s……

    Isn’t that funny. Ha…ha.

    FC: Uh, that’s not snow being shoveled, Billy. Begins with s, though…

    Dilbert: FRACK – a word, meant to be a ‘clean’ version of a curse word, that nobody ever says in real life, when other substitutes actually do get used. (see also: dang)

    GF: Bucky Katt, Stimpy’s very proud of you!

  288. Craig Shergold
    December 8th, 2006 at 2:04 am [Reply]

    Dent is “Dad” from “The Brak Show”:

  289. AppleGirl
    December 8th, 2006 at 2:15 am [Reply]

    MW – Genormous transparent gray biddy floating in Thomas Dewey’s apartment! Ella is totally awesome! That’s funny! And scary! How come Mary can’t do that?

    284 – Poteet, not only do I demand a giant gray floating Aldo, but I also demand a storyline to answer why Thomas Dewey has a photo of Aldo on his wall.

  290. Dub Not Dubya
    December 8th, 2006 at 2:24 am [Reply]

    Friday’s RMMD reads like a setup for a creepy porn film, or else June has gone into the white slavery business. It’s hard out here for a pimp nurse practitioner.

  291. Mibbitmaker
    December 8th, 2006 at 2:27 am [Reply]

    June Morgan:
    “He’s just the kid who stole my purse
    Wanna kill ‘im, Elvis? Do your worst!
    Nikki, kid, you’re just a pest!
    Wanna ‘off’ him, Elvis, be my guest.
    Seriously, kid, it’s for the best.”

    Meanwhile, in MW, Dewey Dent’s doorknob is brought to you by CBS.

  292. Craig Shergold
    December 8th, 2006 at 2:42 am [Reply]

    Diana Rigg – Emma Peel stood for “M. Appeal” aka Man Appeal.

    Another fine Bond Girl & (New) Avenger was Joanna Lumley: later to be Patsy Stone in Absolutely Fabulous. Now that’s range.

  293. Craig Shergold
    December 8th, 2006 at 2:43 am [Reply]

    Dagwood is Ernie from “Nancy”, all grown up!

  294. Craig Shergold
    December 8th, 2006 at 2:58 am [Reply]

    Sluggo, not Ernie.

    Good thing this thread is dying.

  295. Mr. O’Malley
    December 8th, 2006 at 5:04 am [Reply]

    294. Rage, rage, against the dying of the thread!

  296. Mr. O’Malley
    December 8th, 2006 at 5:12 am [Reply]

    TDIET: Ah, the middle aged pleasures of sitting back on a comfy couch with some snacks handy and watching a foul-mouthed middle aged rapper wearing a British motoring cap on a big-screen black and white TV set.

    Life just doesn’t get any better. And Li’l Hekkie better stick to his math homework.

    Say?… Li’l Hekkie? Isn’t he a famous rapper?

  297. Mr. O’Malley
    December 8th, 2006 at 5:23 am [Reply]

    Hi and Lois: idea stolen from Grundoon in Pogo!

  298. Mr. O’Malley
    December 8th, 2006 at 5:28 am [Reply]

    FC: Get your ass out of bed, kid, you are doing the rest of the driveway before you go to school!

  299. Mr. O’Malley
    December 8th, 2006 at 5:32 am [Reply]

    Close to Home–they are watching us!

  300. Mr. O’Malley
    December 8th, 2006 at 5:44 am [Reply]

    Here I sit, alone in my time zone. I’m going to push the total over 300, but only with legitimate comics-related commentary, not with cheap jests, over-used catch phrases or frivolous banter.

  301. Mr. O’Malley
    December 8th, 2006 at 5:46 am [Reply]


    Mission accomplished! I’ll get the punchline in the morning.

  302. ltrftp(not so first time)
    December 8th, 2006 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    I finally went to the BC site to see what had put your panties in a twist and I realise that you all are looking awfully hard to find something offensive…….

    The point is that the past is the past (or future, in the case of BC*) and the US forgave, and has started to forget.

    Imo, forgiving is good, we gave ‘em worse than they gave us. Forgetting? Not good.

    What’s so bad about that?

    Image Google “Dok Yak” for some good comic strip art.

    * Does anyone have a good link to verb tenses as they relate to time travel? Thanks in advanced.

  303. ltrftp(not so first time)
    December 8th, 2006 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    254 – That is a dead bear being pushed out of a tree, right?

    27 – Thanks for Disco STUDent

  304. Bobdog
    December 8th, 2006 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    Ella Byrd is Darth Sidious! She even has the same holgram projector! Clearly her “psychic powers” are really her dark Jedi powers. Watch out Gary Dent, in the words of Admiral Ackbar, “It’s a trap!”

  305. SmartPeopleOnIce
    December 8th, 2006 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    #274 (Poteet) “Buck” is the owner of Molly, and he drove his pickup off a small cliff while being frenched by her (I kid you not). He’s in the hospital now, longing for Molly to visit him more often, and if it’s really Mark he longs for, I don’t want to know. .

    Ya know, when you put it that way, MT sounds utterly insane.

  306. Bitter Scribe
    December 8th, 2006 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    So now we know…the part isn’t in Dag’s hair…it’s in his head.

  307. Orange Duck
    December 8th, 2006 at 10:53 pm [Reply]

    I really have to say that I applaud Ella’s 90+ reflexes. She is clearly nonplussed by Dewey’s floating-in-clear-gelatin Benjamins. OR, she has simply seen such wizardry before, perhaps having caught Houdini’s first performance or having witnessed Rhett Butler’s reaction to the degradation of the Confederate dollar, more than just a few years back.

  308. commodorejohn
    December 9th, 2006 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

    All I have to say is that I love the way Thomas Dewey is flinging bills like they’re shuriken. I love it, you hear me?

  309. lefthanger
    December 10th, 2006 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    Never thought id see something like that in the comics. ” Dick the doorbell.” SHOCKING!

  310. Roger M. Wilcox
    January 20th, 2014 at 11:53 am [Reply]

    You know what would’ve been cool?

    If, instead of “R.I.P. Vernon Schmetnick”, that tombstone had read “R.I.P. Jon von Neumann”.

Comments are closed for this post.