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A farewell to arms adorable little paws

Mark Trail, 1/20/07

Now hear this, Mark Trail: You bore me, y’hear? You bore me. These damn beavers just keep getting relocated and coming back and rebuilding their damn dam. From here on in, I refuse to comment on their shenanigans unless it includes laughably obscene dialog such as “Uh-oh, here comes your dad. He’s going to see the beaver!” or “The beavers are excited about being with each other“. Even strips like today’s, which has potential “shaved beaver” laughs, won’t make the cut because it doesn’t actually contain the line “There’s the beaver Doc shaved!” or the like.

And “Doc did that so he could treat the hurt place” just creeps me out.

Blondie, 1/20/07

Speaking of things that creep me out, I know that Dagwood has a life-destroying eating disorder and all, but you could not pay me enough to put my face anywhere near the terrifying clown-headed PA system in panel one. I am, however, kind of charmed by Clown Burger’s motto, “Say — then pay!” So much faster than paying first and then trying to figure out what to order that costs exactly the amount that you’ve already paid.

Curtis, 1/20/07

I’m going to ignore the socially important but lethally boring message of this strip to ask HOLY CRAP WHY IS MOMMA CURTIS WEARING A BLACK SHIRT MARKED WITH AN ENORMOUS RED BAR CODE? As if the giant symbol of soulless mechanization weren’t bad enough, the Satanic color scheme is soul-chilling. Apparently the Anti-Christ is active in the world of Curtis, and Mrs. Wilkins has agreed to follow him and wear his Mark. This might explain why she’s serving Curtis and Barry some kind of inky black brew, though why she’s serving it to them in bowler hats is still an open question.

Family Circus, 1/20/07

Wow, this is the worst advice on fighting dirty I’ve ever heard. It’s almost as if Dolly wants someone to beat the crap out of Jeffy. Hmm.

137 responses to “A farewell to arms adorable little paws”

  1. Stationary Jew
    January 21st, 2007 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

    The bowler hats in Curtis look like a reasonably accurate representation of cheap plastic bowls to me. You’d think that Antichrist Early-Adopters would be able to afford better.

  2. treedweller
    January 21st, 2007 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

    Tickling earns him a yellow belt in Dolly-Fu. Next he will earn a white belt through a course on fluffing.

  3. TurtleBoy
    January 21st, 2007 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

    Curtis: Barry’s sure diggin’ in with alacrity. I guess even crude oil-soaked sawdust’ll taste good if you’ve been starved long enough.

  4. Underclassed
    January 21st, 2007 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

    Curtis’ downer vibe yesterday makes me think that maybe Mrs. Wilkins is starting to feel a little bit of regret when her eldest son finally makes an insightful observation as he starts slurping down the arsenic-laced soup she just served him. Barry, however, just stoicly watches his older brother for signs of his impending slow, painful death.

  5. Marc
    January 21st, 2007 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

    What kind of fast food place even MAKES Hollandaise sauce!?

  6. Jeremy
    January 21st, 2007 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

    A moral message from Curtis and a ridiculous joke, that to me seems more like a lazy and mind nubbing attempt at saying Dagwood would rather eat crap just bacuse he is hungry.

    Seriously after reading Blondie, my head hurt.

  7. Derelict
    January 21st, 2007 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

    It took Josh this long to become bored with Mark Trail? The strip that set the world land speed record for boring?

    Although, maybe Mark will solve the farmer’s problem in another non-lethal way: He will use his mighty fists of justice on the giant rodents! Yes, he will fist the beavers!

  8. bunx
    January 21st, 2007 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

    Kick him in the balls, Jeffy, you’ve got to kick him in the balls!

    I always find it disconcerting when Dagwood is eating a Dagwood.

    Say what you will about Mark Trail, it never fails in providing a daily dose of beaver tails—huh, huh?

  9. Harry Paratestes
    January 21st, 2007 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

    Curtis: Yum, Mama’s serving ‘Cream of Death’ soup made from the ground-up corpses of leprechauns today! She even reuses the little green bowler hats as soup bowls.

  10. Woodrowfan
    January 21st, 2007 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

    Leave it to Mark Trail to encourage beaver jokes but to make them boring. Hell, he even made “shaved beaver” jokes boring. Now that folks, I submit, is talent!

  11. Harry Paratestes
    January 21st, 2007 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

    MW: It’s awesome how Moy and Giella weave the Masonic imagery into the strip today, from the pyramid-shaped hat in panel 1 that’s worn by a brick-toting Mason, to the ‘pyramid + all-seeing eye’ revealed on Mary’s forehead today. Mary’s using her secret powers as a 32nd degree Scottish Rite Grand Master to summon a hit squad of elite Masonistas to terminate Greta Weber with extreme prejudice. It wouldn’t surprise me if I found out that Charterstone is a hotbed of the Revived Illuminati movement.

  12. treedweller
    January 21st, 2007 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

    Re: 3
    I should have made that Tae Kwon Dolly. And once a pretty boy like Jeffy earns his white belt, he won’t have any more problems with the bullies. Which is good, because he probably would not like earning the brown belt.

  13. Adam
    January 21st, 2007 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

    Can anyone help me out with the chronicle?

    Why does http://www.chron.com not remember my fav comics? I created an account, and I have been through the “build your own comics page” twice, but every time I sign in I have to do it again.

  14. Bill Peschel
    January 21st, 2007 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

    The Dagwood joke is retarded. Hollandaise sause is wonderful! Dagwood should be overjoyed that he got that instead of what passes for mayo in the fast-food lane: whipped bull semen.

  15. Canuckguy
    January 21st, 2007 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

    Based on Dagwood’s experience, seems like it’s gonna work out the same whether you say then pay or pay then say. Either way, you’ll get the food THEY want you to have!

  16. Tabby Lavalamp
    January 21st, 2007 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

    So help me gods, I found today’s Family Circus funny.
    http://www.arcamax.com/pic/22152/421444
    Fill me with Metamucil and call me a plugger, my life is over now.

  17. Chance
    January 21st, 2007 at 5:04 pm [Reply]

    Tabby: I laughed too. It’s hilarious! Ha ha! Maybe Mommy will go deaf from being struck in the ear with ice! ha ha!

    Seriously, I laughed.

  18. doug rogers
    January 21st, 2007 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

    That Family Circus must be Dennis the Menace crossover.

  19. PInk Haired Girl
    January 21st, 2007 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

    I think the green bowler hats are in tribute to Cornelius Fudge in Harry Potter.

  20. Tabby Lavalamp
    January 21st, 2007 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

    Dennis isn’t so much a menace today as he is a vile little blasphemer. If God wants you to be a sunbeam, you will damned well be a sunbeam!

  21. Harry Paratestes
    January 21st, 2007 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

    Dagwood doesn’t care what’s in the sandwich, so long as it passes his one criterion: Does it ‘Make a Big Turd?’

  22. kat
    January 21st, 2007 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

    The beaver is named Lucky? I think I know a beaver who’s going to get lucky tonight. She liiiike.

    Ew, Mark Trail. You make this so easy. Damn it!

  23. Mazement
    January 21st, 2007 at 5:18 pm [Reply]

    Rex Moron: Isn’t that Col. Sanders in the first panel, and Mr. Wilson in the second? Also, what’s with the dialog in the last two panels? At first I thought that the receptionist was talking, but after looking at the speech balloons more closely I realized it was the orange-and-black energy beings speaking in chorus behind her.

  24. Minnow
    January 21st, 2007 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

    Perhaps most disturbing is that Dagwood is ordering a clown meat sandwich. On the other hand, they might be tasty. Plus, one less clown in the world? Works for me!

  25. Colleen
    January 21st, 2007 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

    Jeffy’s got one hell of an arm on him! If he could actually, you know, make his own snowballs, he’d be the king of the playground, ruling with an iron, if comically mistaken, fist.

  26. IdolsofMud
    January 21st, 2007 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

    You would think that a girl being “fatally injured” in the neighborhood might provoke more than dinner conversation.

    “Curtis, don’t you remember? Your lifelong friend Sally was run down on the street last week. The Hummer H2 must have launched her 30 feet into the air. We just came back from her funeral, Curtis! Why do think I’m wearing black? Why have we been having all these speed bump protest meetings? Are you dumb?”

  27. Squid Countess
    January 21st, 2007 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

    #2 Stationary Jew – First, great name. Second, you are absolutely correct in your assessment of those soup-bowl-with-rims as common plastic bowls. They’re staples at the Dollar store. If he can draw such realistic bowls, why does Curtis have to have a ski boot for a hat?

    #14 Adam - The way I do my Chron page is, I chose them, and then I click “build page” and then I hit control+D to put it in my favorites. Thereafter I open it from favorites. I never sign in or out of the Chron. Seems to work.

  28. mumbles
    January 21st, 2007 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

    I’m having trouble with the Chron site too. This site has a lot of our fave strips tho:

    http://www.azcentral.com/ent/comics/

    (I now know that I’m a true Curmodgeon disciple when I looked for “Gil Thorp” under “D”….)

  29. MonkeyHawk
    January 21st, 2007 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

    A bit of nostalgia for a winter afternoon:

    http://www.angelfire.com/wa/zzaran/calvin.html

  30. digamma
    January 21st, 2007 at 5:43 pm [Reply]

    What political statement is Curtis trying to make today? Does this mean we need to go to war with somebody before they nuke us? Should we ban something? This is too subtle for me!

  31. willethompson
    January 21st, 2007 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

    Josh, this MT is a lot more fun iif you abandon the convention of perspective and imagine that the beaver is radioactive and about 12 feet tall. You could then insert American International-type mutant-creature movie dialog like,

    JUNE, A CUTE LAB ASSISTANT: Good Lord! Is there no way to stop it? Otherwise, mankind is dammed!

    DR. WARD, A SCIENTIST: I have a plan, but we’ll need a giant fighting cock!

    JUNE: Ward, won’t that be hard on the beaver?

    EDDIE: Gee, Mrs. Cleaver, you’ve certainly got a nice, big…AIEEEE!

  32. True Fable
    January 21st, 2007 at 5:46 pm [Reply]

    #28 For that matter, Squid Countess, why does Curtis wear his hat in the house? Man, that thing would have been snatched off my head and my scrawny butt spanked within an inch of my life (“you had better not wear a hat in the house, where are your manners, you weren’t raised in a barn,etc..”)
    And he would have caught holy hell for wearing that stupid looking thing at church.

  33. Uncle Lumpy
    January 21st, 2007 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

    #30 digamma –

    You’re back!

    ( )o( )! – it’s been quite a while!

  34. PeteMoss
    January 21st, 2007 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

    How do you get a look at sunday comics on the Chron.com? It always looks to me like they’re not available online but links get posted quite a bit.

  35. Suicide_Blonde
    January 21st, 2007 at 6:03 pm [Reply]

    If Dagwood doesn’t want that chicken sandwich with Hollandaise, I’ll eat it.

  36. Katal
    January 21st, 2007 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

    To be fair to Family Circus, on an old episode of NewsRadio, Andy Dick used that strategy to beat Joe Rogan in a fight.

  37. Jack Parsons
    January 21st, 2007 at 6:07 pm [Reply]

    When do Neddy and Cedric “Not Jeeves” Hart get to the Arc d’Surrender, the Place de Stupid Hats, or the Aveneu des Shaving The Heads Of Women Who Slept With Nazis?

  38. Steve S
    January 21st, 2007 at 6:09 pm [Reply]

    That’s not Hollandaise, Dagwood. That’s clown phlegm.

  39. Futurebot
    January 21st, 2007 at 6:14 pm [Reply]

    One day we will look back on this episode of Curtis as the first sign that the strip was headed down the dark, rubble-strewn path towards Winkerbeanland. Curtis’s Dad has long been cruisin’ for lung cancer, Curt’s own valiant water-pistol-vs-cigarettes efforts notwithstanding. Barry will be kidnapped and molested, the barbershop guys will join the army and get sent to Iraq, Flyspeck Island will be vaporized by a mistakenly launched missile, and Curtis’s Mom will lose a leg in a freak gardening accident.

  40. willethompson
    January 21st, 2007 at 6:19 pm [Reply]

    OK, let’s wait for Dingo and the other City of the Big Shoulderarians to check in…. wait for it…wait for it….

  41. Squid Countess
    January 21st, 2007 at 6:19 pm [Reply]

    Warning: This is not a post about beavers. It is a post about pussies. As such, it may be considered a waste of time by some readers whose name I am too lazy to go back and look up.

    I did it! I adopted 2 cats! I get them on Friday. Elvis and Elvira were gone. Biscuit Man, the orange cat, has issues. He repeatedly climbed me and tried to sit on my head while yowling and kneading my scalp. He could not be deterred from this. I think he might have a meth problem.

    I am getting 2 girls, who shall be named Margo and Tommie. Margo is a sleek, aggressive brunette who grabs a toy mouse with gusto and doesn’t let go till it’s nothing but a dried husk of its former self. Then Margo goes in the corner and preens, while Tommie, a mottled-color tabby, sort of schlubs her way over to the toy mouse and gives it a poke to see if there’s any fun left in it. The staff says they came in together and get along beautifully. They’ve been sharing an apartment, er, cage. (I assume there was a Lu Ann at one point, but she probably fell into a cement mixer at a construction site.)
    If you want to see them, here’s the link. They are about 1/2 way down the page – Ebony (Margo) and Goldie (Tommie.) No cat(s) will ever replace my Sammy, who had so many distinct opinions and eccentricities it was like living with another person, but it will be good to have feline companions again. Thanks for your interest.

    http://www.knoxpets.org/adoption.asp?Cat

  42. Baby D’oh
    January 21st, 2007 at 6:24 pm [Reply]

    Re: Blondie –

    What, no mention of Clown Burger’s sister company, Clown Hysterectomy (motto: “Say — then Spay!”), now with drive-through service?! For shame.

  43. Baby D’oh
    January 21st, 2007 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

    P.S. Who *doesn’t* want someone to beat the crap out of Jeffy?

  44. Ukulele Ike
    January 21st, 2007 at 6:27 pm [Reply]

    What’s all the goddamn fuss about the Champs d’Elysees? It’s mostly movie theaters, drugstores, and fast food places these days.

    Neddy should get her pert butt over to the Left Bank…hang out at Les Deux Magots, drink some St.-Emilion, smoke some Gauloises, talk some Existentialism.

  45. Squeak
    January 21st, 2007 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

    This Blondie is the funniest comic I’ve seen in ages.

    Dagwood goes to a fast food restaurant. He comes home and discovers that they got his order wrong. He decides that he doesn’t mind the mistake and enjoys his meal anyway. Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

    Wait… what’s so funny about that?

  46. Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
    January 21st, 2007 at 6:32 pm [Reply]

    41: Hey, I’ll click on a link to cute pussies. (Ouch! Who just slapped me?)

    (Congratulations!)

  47. AwfulArt
    January 21st, 2007 at 6:34 pm [Reply]

    Da BEARS Win..!! Score one for “Molly”…

  48. jules
    January 21st, 2007 at 6:34 pm [Reply]

    Hey, I want someone to beat the crap out of Jeffy. (I’ll bet I’m like the fortieth person to express such a sentiment.)

  49. Boomer
    January 21st, 2007 at 6:43 pm [Reply]

    No. 29 — Thanks! That takes me back to some happy childhood memories. Er… reading the comics. We never got enough damned snow around here to do anything that cool. Our snowmen would have been Micromen and lasted about a day.

  50. Poteet
    January 21st, 2007 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

    # 27 — Squid Countess, you have changed my life. For months I have lived with the shame of being such a computer idiot that I couldn’t even figure out how to save my chron built-comics page. But thanks to you, it finally occurred to me to try saving it as a “favorites” page, and it worked. One miniscule step for humankind, a giant leap for a computer idiot.

    WARNING — PUSSIES COMMENT — Congratulations on your new cats, who look very appealing! And I bet the shelter people were happy to see them go to a good home. May Margo and Tommie and you live happily ever after! (And umm, I don’t suppose you see YOURSELF as the Lu Ann:-)?

  51. willethompson
    January 21st, 2007 at 6:52 pm [Reply]

    #41 Squiddy one – his (her?) name was Dogg. You know how it is between Doggs and cats…

  52. Bill Peschel
    January 21st, 2007 at 6:56 pm [Reply]

    Squid, that’s great. I love the names! If you get a male, will you name him Josh? I think he’d like that.

  53. Poteet
    January 21st, 2007 at 6:57 pm [Reply]

    MT — While I understand your boredom, Josh, I can’t share it. I love MT animals. That kit or swift (or swift or kit) fox today caused my pupils to dilate til I looked like Dondi on drugs. And the JackBall can keep repeating the basic beaver plot over and over (though I really hope he doesn’t), as long as the beavers remain unharmed and cute. Having said that, I do promise to try to keep my transports of MT-animal aww-ness to myself in future.

  54. Opus
    January 21st, 2007 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

  55. Ukulele Ike
    January 21st, 2007 at 7:16 pm [Reply]

    Y’see, June had gone to a party a couple weeks back, and Joyce was there, and June kept forgetting her name. Joyce seemed pretty PO’d about it, so now, every time June sees Joyce, she uses her name three or four times, you know, so she can prove she hasn’t forgotten it.

  56. Johan
    January 21st, 2007 at 7:22 pm [Reply]

    In the black and white version of that Curtis, it looked at first to me like Barry had suddenly grown out his bangs about 4ft.

  57. Basil Wrathbone
    January 21st, 2007 at 7:23 pm [Reply]

    I like the implied message in Dolly’s statement. If a kid is smaller than you, it’s perfectly ok to whack the crap out of him.

  58. Uncle Lumpy
    January 21st, 2007 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

    #50 Poteet –

    Now that you have the Chron set up in your Favorites, you can edit the URL to send you more than 10 comics –

    1. Figure out the numbers of the comics you want (I did this by trial and error, but I’m sure you can do it systematically from a printout of their big two-column alphabetical list).

    2. Edit the “cpp=**” field, where “**” is the number of comics they send/you want.

    3. Add the comics you want by number, by adding “&c=***” wherever you want the comic to appear on your page, where “***” is the number of each comic you want.

    Best, of course, to do this with a second, experimental, “Favorites” link so you don’t mess up your primary.

    You can even change all your “&c” fields to “&c=144″, and enjoy wall-to-wall Funky Winkerbean. Oh, rapture!

    Unfortunately, I can’t figure out how to use this technique with the Sunday comics – anybody?

  59. Eridani
    January 21st, 2007 at 7:29 pm [Reply]

    The “hurt place?” Looks like Mark Trail uses the terrible and outdated Archie-Joke-Generating-Laugh-Unit 1000, because no biological creature, not even a 5-year-old, would say “hurt place.”

  60. Chromium
    January 21st, 2007 at 7:35 pm [Reply]

    Wait, is Curtis’s mom making a punchline? “I’m sure I don’t know.” That sounds like a dark inside joke of some sort. Is she implying that governments like to kill their citizens? Is she planning to kill Curtis and Barry?

    Meanwhile, in my new effort to get “Redeye” noticed around here, the old man with head mold from yesterday is… is… hallucinating? Schizophrenic? Delusional? Something like that…

  61. Caged Tygre
    January 21st, 2007 at 7:37 pm [Reply]

    I fear a hybridized Foob might look something like this.

    The elusive lizardfish.

    Squidcountess, congrats on the kittycats!

  62. Artist Formerly Known as Ben
    January 21st, 2007 at 7:39 pm [Reply]

    Due to circumstances beyond our control, this “Curtis” has been scripted by the honourable Ms. Lynn Johnston.

  63. monsieurjohn
    January 21st, 2007 at 7:42 pm [Reply]

    Re: Sunday chron comics…

    usually a handful of them work, and thankfully those are usually the king features ones that aren’t available on the syndicate web site for two weeks. Then I have to do a firefox address bar “i’m feeling lucky” search for each of the other ones, using my broken chron page as a guideline so i don’t forget any (plus fox trot).

    But today NONE of them worked, and i cried and cried. I found another newspaper (Arizona Post-Intelligencer or something) that had most of them current, but still, very sad. I hope they come back next week!

  64. Black Card
    January 21st, 2007 at 7:45 pm [Reply]

    I’m a trifle worried about Dagwood, in that eating a sandwich from this place apparently freezes your face into the same manic, empty grin as the drive through clown.

    It’s the fast food of Sarnoth! “Say, then pay… WITH YOUR SOUL!”

  65. Frank Drackman
    January 21st, 2007 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

    #60 thanks, I haven’t seen “Redeye” since the 70′s. I even had a few of the paperback editions. I had an early morning paper route and people would leave bags of old paperbacks on their doorstep for the recycling craze that was just starting. I aquired a whole library from what people were throwing out, of course with “BC” “Family Circus” and “Redeye” maybe they knew what they were doing.

  66. FootFace
    January 21st, 2007 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

    So this horrible traffic accident happened on… Odgen street? ODGEN? That’s a name?!

    Forget the Archie Humor Computator, or whatever. Curtis is using a seriously outdated version of Microsoft Name.

    Soon to be seen on Curtis:

    Mr. Climter
    Armstring Blvd.
    Goola Elementary School

  67. K
    January 21st, 2007 at 8:06 pm [Reply]

    #66: Odgen? ODGEN? It’s the name of a huge street in the Chicago area that is part of the original Route 66.

    It’s about 5 blocks from my house and just about that far from everyone else on the west side of Chicago and burbs houses too.

    Odgen was also a mayor of Chicago in the 1800′s and owner of a local brewery at the same time.

    Hope Curtis doesn’t live in my neighborhood.

  68. K
    January 21st, 2007 at 8:08 pm [Reply]

    oh NO, that was Ogden!

    I messed up my first post here ever. Bummer.

  69. Uncle Lumpy
    January 21st, 2007 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

    #68 K -

    Pay it no mind! Welcome, and onward!

  70. Joe
    January 21st, 2007 at 8:13 pm [Reply]

    What social problem is Curtis addressing here, exactly? Lack of speed bumps? Whatever dude, all a speed bump’s gonna do is piss of the drunk driver more.

  71. ahclem
    January 21st, 2007 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

    “Apparently the Anti-Christ is active in the world of Curtis…”

    Close, Josh. The Anti-Christ is drawing the world of Curtis.

  72. reader-who-posts
    January 21st, 2007 at 8:16 pm [Reply]

    I like to imagine Jeffy Keane in therapy, holding up the cartoons he writes/draws, screaming “YOU WONDER WHY I’M UPSET! DO YOU SEE WHAT MY BITCH OF A SISTER WAS TRYING TO DO TO ME?” followed by the therapist calling him a pussy and handing him a xanex.

  73. ChristyNell
    January 21st, 2007 at 8:16 pm [Reply]

    29: The little snowman on the toboggan cracks me up. God, I miss that comic strip.

  74. Colleen
    January 21st, 2007 at 8:19 pm [Reply]

    #67 — you live 5 blocks from Ogden Avenue? So do I! Hi, Chicagoland neighbor!

    Now I’m trying to figure out where on Ogden they’d install speed bumps…

    *back to lurking*

  75. The Restless Mouse
    January 21st, 2007 at 8:28 pm [Reply]

    When Thelma got the snowball in the back of the head, I laughed so hard my place hurt.

  76. banana
    January 21st, 2007 at 8:33 pm [Reply]

    colleen and k: the curtis strip does actually spell it “odgen” not ogden…

    I’m also a chicago native, never lived close to ogden but worked close to it :)

  77. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    January 21st, 2007 at 8:35 pm [Reply]

    I assume there are some Simpsons fans out there in CC-land. Did you notice in tonight’s episode (at least those of you in the Eastern time zone) the editor patterned after Flattop Hitler? (or whatever the character in Spider-Man is really called — is it J. Jonah Jameson? I don’t read that strip except when it’s on here.)

  78. Poteet
    January 21st, 2007 at 8:43 pm [Reply]

    # 58 — Thanks, Uncle Lumpy. I feel even better now.

    # 61 — BWAHAHA! I like the Lizardfish. Thanks, Tygre.

  79. PeteMoss
    January 21st, 2007 at 8:46 pm [Reply]

    MT- I always love the incredible “perspective” art of this strip. Awesome, giant Beavers. (Pay big money for giant beaver.)

    Sunday’s Slylock Fox also features a return of the Angry, Victim Beaver. SF is the defender of beavers.

    Blondie- You get a face full of seltzer and pie with Clown Burger value meals.

  80. Robert Whitaker Sirignano
    January 21st, 2007 at 8:48 pm [Reply]

    Geez, ,Cats. I’m allergic to them, and consider them to be akin to disease carrying vermin.

    My wife got bit by one years back and it wasn’t much more than a simple crunch, a couple of poke marks, but her hand blew up like a glove full of weiners. It’s called pastorella, and its akin to the plague.

    Mind you, I still have a weird cat in the garage, watching all the mice come in and invade the kitchen. My daughter would never forgive me if something happened to this orange fat fluffy pile of kitty.

    Argh.

  81. Colleen
    January 21st, 2007 at 8:48 pm [Reply]

    #76 — Hmm. Good point, banana. Actually, that’s a relief. Now we don’t have to worry if Curtis lives in our neighborhood after all.

  82. Michael L.
    January 21st, 2007 at 8:59 pm [Reply]

    Re today’s (and Friday’s) FBOW: Note that the people in the strip can converse at ordinary volume even when helicopters and vacuum cleaners are running right next to them.

    It is a pretty quiet vacuum cleaner though (“Sssss”). Mike’s laptop (“TICK-TAPPITA”) makes more noise.

    And “Sssss” is the sound of a vacuum cleaner? Sssssince when?

    Lynn’s onomatopoeia is broken.

  83. reader-who-posts
    January 21st, 2007 at 9:04 pm [Reply]

    #79 – I prefer small, cute beavers myself. But hey, that’s just me.

    I also prefer them not to have a “hurt place”.

  84. Squid Countess
    January 21st, 2007 at 9:16 pm [Reply]

    #54 & #55 Sounds like standard soap opera dialogue to me. “Oh, Royal, it can’t be true!” “Yes, Rex, it’s true!” “No, Royal!” ” Yes, Rex!” and etc. I’ve always wondered why soaps do that. Maybe Old Fogyette knows. She used to write for various soaps.

  85. NEW-ME
    January 21st, 2007 at 9:38 pm [Reply]

    #29 MonkeyHawk Thank you Thank you for the Calvin link. I laughed until I had an asthma attack! Wish I still had all those books!

    Also Squid congrats on your cats they will be so much fun! I empathize with you on your lost kitty. :(

  86. Dean Booth
    January 21st, 2007 at 9:39 pm [Reply]

    MT: Lucky’s Revenge (a large file, so give it a minute to load)

  87. Booper
    January 21st, 2007 at 9:46 pm [Reply]

    Squid Countess — Congratulations! May you all live happily ever after.

    #29 MonkeyHawk — Thank you for the link. The older I get, the more brilliant Calvin and Hobbes becomes.

  88. Booper
    January 21st, 2007 at 9:48 pm [Reply]

    #86 — Very, very funny, Dean Booth. (Now can you make Lucky barf him back out?)

  89. MonkeyHawk
    January 21st, 2007 at 9:50 pm [Reply]

    #70 — Joe:

    >all a speed bump’s gonna do is piss of the drunk driver more.>

    And, of course, everyone knows the way to negate speed bumps is to hit them at three-times the posted limit.

  90. MonkeyHawk
    January 21st, 2007 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

    MT — And just when did that rock in the stream name Theodore Lucky?

  91. AwfulArt
    January 21st, 2007 at 10:17 pm [Reply]

    What a game..!! The Colts win..!! Now in two weeks “Molly” can play with a Horsy…!!!

  92. Rhekarid
    January 21st, 2007 at 10:17 pm [Reply]

    No wonder Dagwood is still happy with his order, when has anyone EVER gotten a sandwich that size from a fast food place? In real life every burger that comes out of those deathtraps looks like a Plugger sat on it.

  93. andreavis
    January 21st, 2007 at 10:19 pm [Reply]

    #77– Skullturf– not only was that poetry journal editor supposed to be J. Jonah Jameson from Spiderman, but the voice was provided by JK Simmons, who played JJJ in the Spiderman movies.

  94. AhClem
    January 21st, 2007 at 10:33 pm [Reply]

    Clown Burger must be the anti-Burger King. Their advertising slogan is “Have it OUR way — OR ELSE!”

  95. Jeremy
    January 21st, 2007 at 10:34 pm [Reply]

    I don’t get Mark trail in my paper, but if I did I would protest it and have them replace it with Andy reruns.

  96. Wirrrn
    January 21st, 2007 at 10:40 pm [Reply]

    BLONDIE: Ye Gods, if I didn’t already have a raging (and suprisingly not all that funny) case of Coulrophobia (ie fear of clowns) then I would now. It looks like Beelzebozo isn’t even attached to the sign, but is just using its dayglo orange hair-wings and evil clown-powers to fly in front of Dagwood’s car until he makes the fatal mistake of cranking the window…

  97. cinephile
    January 21st, 2007 at 10:43 pm [Reply]

    #29– Not to sound like a pedant (or one of the pretentious art criitcs the strips make fun of), but what struck me re-reading those wonderful Calvin and Hobbes cartoons (and thanks for the link!) was how gorgeously drawn they are. An earlier poster noted that her strips get funnier as they age, but I just kept thinking– there’s no one making such beautiful *images* on the comics page anymore. Yeah, the dailogue is hilarious, but look how much Watterson pays attention to space and perspective and volume, like in that first strip, where the car juts from the left foreground to the snowmen huddled in the center, whose rounded forms guide your eye rightward, where the parents’ punchline is (and whose forms guide you back to the left side of the box, and the car, which keeps you going in a kind of humor loop). Or, in the next strip, where Watterson lets the image dominate, with the word balloons hung in the high right corner for visual balance. Compared to today’s text-heavy strips, or to some of the slapdashily drawn comics which I won’t name, this flashback is like some sad, lost oasis of style (watch out, I might break into a few choruses of “Camelot”). It just makes all the current FOOBery– with its crappily shifting visual styles, thought balloon homilies and faux-daring, afterschool special “messages”– that much more annoying.

  98. Red Greenback
    January 21st, 2007 at 10:54 pm [Reply]

    Dolly-”The first rule of Fight Club is, you do not talk about Fight Club

    Jeffy- “But I, uh…

    Dolly- “Shut up, you! The second rule of Fight Club is, you DO NOT talk about Fight Club.

    Jeffy-”I wasn’t gonna…

    Dolly- If someone says stop, goes limp, taps out, the fight is over.

    Jeffy-”What’s a ‘taps’?

    Dolly- Two guys to a fight.

    Jeffy-”That’s good, ’cause I’m not a guy!’

    Dolly- Zip it Jeffy! Now focus!!..One fight at a time.

    Jeffy-”Can I wear legwarmers?!’

    Dolly- Lemme see …it only stip’lates “no shirts, no shoes”, I guess the “warmers are cool.

    Jeffy-”Oh Boy!’

    Dolly- Fights will go on as long as they have to.

    Jeffy-”But you said I could tickle!’

    Dolly- I was just ‘shittin’ you about that, this is your first night at Fight Club, you have to fight.

  99. PeteMoss
    January 21st, 2007 at 11:02 pm [Reply]

    Thanks, MonkeyHawk,. for the Calvin & Hobbs. Great stuff.

  100. Constantine
    January 21st, 2007 at 11:15 pm [Reply]

    In all that space about making fun of beavers in Mark Trail, you couldn’t find a little time to point out how Mark’s comment about “I named him Lucky!” sounds like a mentally challenged student proudly announcing his works to a rather bored teacher.

  101. Poteet
    January 21st, 2007 at 11:26 pm [Reply]

    # 86 — Thanks, Dean! Now I like Theodore more than ever. (I refuse to surrender to your stupid idea of a good beaver name, Rusty, you little freckled tool.)

    # 96 — I totally agree, Wirrrn. That BLONDIE clown reminds me of Pennywise the evil clown in the TV version of IT, which I was told was a yawnfest for those accustomed to modern horror films but which scared me so much that for the next six months I’d sometimes wake up at night and turn on my flashlight and check to make sure Pennywise wasn’t floating next to my bed. (Margo), I may do it again tonight. Thanks a lot, Dean Young.

  102. reader-who-posts
    January 21st, 2007 at 11:36 pm [Reply]

    MW: While in FOOB-land I’m incredibly disappointed at the plot ‘twist’ of Liz traveling to her boyfriend only to find out he has ass-grabbing someone else, I’m beyond disappointed that Mary is finding out the Dr. Jeff Cory is in the hospital with exhaustion instead of in a hut having sex with a 19 year old transexual.

    Blondie: If you’ve finished throwing your strike, get back in your goddamn seat! Too bad you fouled just like Hi did yesterday. Oh, and very few bowlers wear team shirts in league anymore, and teams don’t go bowl by themselves, they bowl again other teams with the same amount of bowlers! Ok, end of my bowling vent, I feel better now.

    JP: With all that stretching and posing Abbey is doing, it seems that she’s about to seduce Aunt Rachel.

  103. King Folderol
    January 21st, 2007 at 11:50 pm [Reply]

    Blondie – The clown’s slogan is pretty dumb…if people haven’t figured out how to use a drive-through in 2007 then, honestly, they don’t deserve the sustinence they require to survive and continue taking up space on this planet, let alone the gourmand’s delight that is Clown Burger. And it really should be, “say, drive up, stop the car, wait for the surly teenager with the funny uniform to show up and give you your total, then pay.”

    Curtis – Looks like Tom Bialiuk of Funky Winkerbean is guest writing this strip. Look for a future Funky Winkerbean where Les gets pissed because Funky reveals in front of everyone at Montoni’s that Les wets his bed.

  104. Kevin
    January 22nd, 2007 at 12:04 am [Reply]

    There’s a quaint little euphemism we use in place of “fatally injured” where I come from. We say “killed.”

  105. Booper
    January 22nd, 2007 at 12:42 am [Reply]

    #97 cinephile — You’ve really nailed the beauty of Calvin and Hobbes. (I’m assuming that, since you’re a “cinephile,” you’re into the visual aspects of things.) I find it hard to stop looking at those strips because there’s either something new to notice or more to draw out of what you’ve already seen. (I find the same thing happens with Get Fuzzy and Mutts.) Of couse, that’s the sign of a classic — no matter how many times you experience it, you never grow tired of it.

  106. Joel
    January 22nd, 2007 at 1:02 am [Reply]

    Dolly places a condition on the applicability of her prohibition on hitting other children. “If the kid is bigger than you…” Well enough IF the child is larger than Jeffy. But what, however, are we to make of the glaring negative pregnant? What if the condition described in the restrictive clause is not met? What are we to conclude then? Why does Dolly not simply say “Do not hit people, tickle them.”? The inescapable conclusion is that Jeffy has been authorized to hit smaller children with impunity.

    Pity poor PJ. Nice fucking family values, Keane, you monster.

  107. Trixie Belden
    January 22nd, 2007 at 1:08 am [Reply]

    # 41 hey, Squid Countess – congratulations on your kitty adoption! It’s so great to have two cats that get along well together – twice the fun!
    My sympathies on the loss of Sammy. It’s always hard when a pet dies, no matter how old they are.

  108. Mibbitmaker
    January 22nd, 2007 at 2:03 am [Reply]

    #86: Exellent! Mark Trail as done by Terry Gilliam. Lucky sure 86ed that kid, didn’t he?

  109. Richard Onley
    January 22nd, 2007 at 2:09 am [Reply]

    I trust I’m not violating any rules here, and I REALLY hope Josh can post these for future easy access:

    http://www.comics.com/mycomics/html/categories_alpha.html

    http://www.gocomics.com/comics/index.phtml#atoz

    http://ucomics.aolsvc.aol.com/news/comics/

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/artsandliving/comics/index.html

    http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/fun/

    With those five sites, I was able to call up all but Buckles, Family Circus, and Spider-Man
    this morning when chron.com fizzled out on me. Saw quite a few others that merited attention, too.

    Hope that helps.

  110. AppleGirl
    January 22nd, 2007 at 2:45 am [Reply]

    41 – Squid Countess, congratulations on the arrival of your beautiful new companions. All the best to you, Margo and Tommie!

  111. M.U.
    January 22nd, 2007 at 3:35 am [Reply]

    #26 Wearing black, speedbump protest… Yes, that explains it. She must be wearing an official speedbump protest t-shit. That’s not a bar code, those are speed bumps on her chest.

  112. bubujin
    January 22nd, 2007 at 5:09 am [Reply]

    Josh–I hope we get some good commentary on Sunday’s BB. Proof that Gen Halftrack is bopping Miss Buxley. That could be the only reason that she had to talk so loudly and he was in such haste to exit the back of the building–so he could have time to pull up his pants and put away the bondage gear.

  113. Damian P.
    January 22nd, 2007 at 8:01 am [Reply]

    Say what you like about Clown Burger’s Tim-Curry-as-Pennywise-the-Clown mascot, I still like it better than the “Dollar Menunaires.”

  114. miraclemet
    January 22nd, 2007 at 8:26 am [Reply]

    Id just like to say that Elizabeth’s expression in the last panel on Fridays FBorFW was just how every guy wants a girl to react when broaching the topic of getting back together…

  115. dimestore lipstick
    January 22nd, 2007 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    #82–Michael L.

    Lynn and her Lynnions actually got the onomatopoeia for the vacuum cleaner right in that strip. The Patterson Family Manse is furnished with a central vacuum , and the sound at the point of use is much more of a hiss than a roar.

  116. Prehumous
    January 22nd, 2007 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    bubujin — 112

    I don’t really understand Sunday’s Beetle Bailey. I mean, it’s never actually funny but I can at least understand the joke. But that one… it feels like Crock to me, and I don’t think that BB can actually sink that low.

  117. Donald The Anarchist
    January 22nd, 2007 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    MT They call it “the hurt place” because “The Punishment Den” sounds too trendy…

  118. Braniff
    January 22nd, 2007 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    To Joel: Consider what Jeffy is wanting to do to his Mommy this week (yesterday and today). Yesterday, Mommy got clobbered and today, she seemed to know what he was up to when bringing donuts for the family. Jeffy’s certainly got some issues, that’s for sure!

  119. Michael L.
    January 22nd, 2007 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    #115-dimestore lipstick:

    I stand corrected. I didn’t know about the central vac, not in the Patterson house, not in reality either. Thanks!

  120. MrG8000
    January 22nd, 2007 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    Blondie: I’m still wondering what kind of fast food place serves ANYTHING with hollandaise sauce. Unless it’s left over from the EggsMcBenedict.

  121. Poteet
    January 22nd, 2007 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    # 80 — “Disease carrying vermin.” Gee, Robert, that’s pretty much the way I’ve always regarded small children. Bwahaha! Well not really, except for that little boy in the seat right in front of me who farted constantly all the way from Chicago to Tokyo.

  122. mon-ma-tron
    January 22nd, 2007 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    Okay, I realize there’s a new post, and probably no one will read this, but in my RSS feed, the byline for this post was “unclelumpy” instead of the usual “comics.”

    Are the cardinals filling in for Josh? Is there some sort of coup in process? Is the Pope going on vacation again?

  123. Uncle Lumpy
    January 22nd, 2007 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    Heh, heh, heh.

  124. whoamItoday?
    January 22nd, 2007 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    “What kind of fast food place even MAKES Hollandaise sauce!?”

    No, really, who besides Dagwood could possibly eat Hollandaise Sauce from a fast food place? It’s such a food safety risk anyway that having it from a fast food place would pretty much insure salmonella. Unless, worse yet, it’s the kind you make from a powdered mix.

    Yeah, I’m a chef.

  125. Josh
    January 22nd, 2007 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

    Heh, heh, heh, indeed. Stay tuned, mon-ma-tron and others. But all posts have in fact been written by me … so far.

    Josh

  126. SuzanneLurks
    January 22nd, 2007 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    What’s with the dead expression on Momma Curtis’ face in panel 2? Her eyes are so lifeless, no hint of emotion as she describes a DEATH in the neighbourhood…

    And in panel 3, the eyes widened in a display of innocence as she disclaims all knowledge.

    Ulp! I’m starting to wonder exactly how far Momma Curtis might have gone to get that traffic calming device installed!

  127. Remus - (A Tater Tot Man)
    January 22nd, 2007 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

    How much time passed between panels two and three in Judge Parker today?
    Because, however long it was, it was sufficient for Rachel to have transmogrified from a mildly shrunken biddy to a fully dessicated corpse.

    What’s this? Josh hiring out help?? Why, that’d be like Bil Keane letting Jeffy take over!! Or Jimmy Hatlo and Bob Dunn handing the reins to Scaduto!!
    You hear me Lumpy? I said you’re like Jeffy Keane and Scaduto!! HAHAAHAAHAAHAHAAHA!!!!!

  128. PeteMoss
    January 22nd, 2007 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

    #86 Dean Booth — Why can’t Lucky eat the mean dad?

  129. Gal Friday
    January 22nd, 2007 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

    Curtis–No mom says “fatally injured” to her kids. My parents would say “killed”–and then tell me I was not to go to Odgen (sic) Ave.

    Curtis can get a little preachy, but I do like it. . .

  130. Islamorada Girl
    January 22nd, 2007 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

    The best thing about His Joshness posting pix of readers wearing Crumudgeon merchandise is that we all get a little peek into their interior design schemes in the background. It’s almost as good as looking in their medicine cabinets. Almost.

  131. willethompson
    January 22nd, 2007 at 8:32 pm [Reply]

    WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP – gh and poteet – we’ve been made into unpersons! Rage, rage, against the dying of the light!!!

  132. Poteet
    January 22nd, 2007 at 9:19 pm [Reply]

    # 131 — Huhh?? What happened, wille? Why are we supposed to rage? What did I miss this time?

  133. Adam Stephanides
    January 22nd, 2007 at 9:35 pm [Reply]

    I don’t know how old Curtis actually is, but I’m pretty sure he’s not old enough to be using the phrase “before a problem is addressed as a problem.” (As opposed to what? Addressing a problem as the Queen of England?)

  134. Don Iguan
    January 22nd, 2007 at 9:53 pm [Reply]

    Why is Dolly gaining pleasure from Jeffy’s inevitable ass-kicking? Is the bond between adopted children that loose?

  135. ltrftp(not so first time)
    January 23rd, 2007 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    Monkeyhawk
    Do you have permission to post those from Mr. Watterson?

  136. mon-ma-tron
    January 23rd, 2007 at 5:28 pm [Reply]

    hmm m m . . . . curiouser and curiouser.

    Comics Curmudgeon Omnimedia Empire?
    w00t!

  137. Roger M. Wilcox
    January 25th, 2014 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    I just realized …

    In the Family Circus, Thel (the mom) has black hair, and Bil (the dad) has blond hair.

    And yet, both Dolly and Jeffy here are red-heads.

    I’ll bet the mailman has flaming red hair….

Comments are closed for this post.