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Can’t believe they even paid for that pizza to be honest

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/2/15

I don’t remember the circumstances and I can’t find it my archives now, but that boat … well, you’ll be extremely unsurprised to know that somebody just gave the Morgans that boat, for free, in exchange for I can’t remember what now but probably just their general awesomeness. Anyway, today’s strip is just proof that the “gift economy,” in which you give people you like things that you think they should have at your whim, can be converted into a money economy pretty fast. Will that boat sell on Craigslist for like half of whatever the people who gave it to Rex and June paid for it? Who cares! As long it can buy them this delightful cabin, they’re fine with it! (Also, someone will obviously be paying more than asking price for this boat, are you kidding me, these are the Morgans we’re talking about here, only good things happen to them.)

Heathcliff, 10/2/15

Cats find it romantic when you grip them tightly and use your prehensile lips to kiss the back of their necks, I guess? Also, the fact that this makeout is taking place on top of a profoundly phallic stack of garbage cans is a nice touch.

How differently is “Dawg” really pronounced from “dog,” honestly

Marvin, 10/1/15

I definitely would’ve loved to have been a fly on the wall for the comics syndicate editorial meeting that settled on the phrasing “Increase your poopy diaper output.” I mean, come on, Marvin, we know what you want to say. Increase your poop output. INCREASE THE AMOUNT OF POOP YOU OUTPUT FROM YOUR BUTTHOLE. HAVE THE COURAGE OF YOUR CONVICTIONS AND SAY IT, YOU MONSTER.

Hi and Lois, 10/1/15

I genuinely love the huge frown on Dawg’s face in this strip. Normally he just frolics with Trixie and her innocent little delusions. He doesn’t have the heart to be drawn into Ditto’s awful web of lies.

Pluggers, 10/1/15

Like he-pluggers, she-pluggers have memories good enough that they can recognize price inflation, but not so good that they can recognize improved buying power for average wages.

Where were these videos during the last three Seldon Crises

Beetle Bailey, 9/30/15

“Why doesn’t he get his news from … the radio? Yes, he sits at a desk all day and is younger than the U.S. Army’s mandatory general officer retirement age of 64. A radio is definitely the thing that makes the most sense for this joke. Yes, sir, a radio.”

Funky Winkerbean, 9/30/15

I just want to note, in the midst of Dead Lisa’s Return — which today is taking the form of “fake photo in fake old-timey photo album” rather than “face on a TV screen,” just for a little narrative variety — that the timing on all this advice is 100% useless, thanks to negligent VHS-labelling on Lisa’s part. Like, Les and Cayla have been together for years, and a lot of these warnings didn’t really apply because Summer and Keisha were already in their late teens, but, like, what if they hadn’t been? What if they had been little kids and Cayla had only found this video after years of marriage? “Whoops, I’ve been treating Summer as an unloved stepchild and lavishing extra affection on my own daughter all this time! Darn, if only there had been some way to know this video existed at the beginning of my relationship with Les, we could have all avoided a lot of emotional drama.”

Spider-Man, 9/30/15

Now, we make fun of Newspaper Spider-Man here a lot, but let’s be sure to praise him when he deserves it. For instance, in panel one here, he’s proven himself a true innovator, coming up with a fantastically stupid new way to carry suitcases.