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Mr. Lodge literally has ancient statues on plinths just scattered around his house

Archie, 2/4/16

Usually Archie and Mr. Lodge are in engaged in a constant struggle for dominance, with the plutocrat heaping withering contempt on the hapless teen at all times while Archie gamely attempts to maintain a relationship with his daughter and keep his head down. Today is an extremely rare instance of Mr. Lodge actually attempting to empathize with Archie, which he does by … attempting to commiserate about his daughters flaws! Ha ha, women, am I right? Always shopping, especially if you have unlimited cash at your disposal and live in a vast mansion! Oh, mercy.

Slylock Fox, 2/4/16

In the first panel, the man is frowning because he’s finally realized that his cat hoarding is a symptom of his terrible obsessive-compulsive disorder, and he desperately needs help in order to put his life back on track and get those pets into homes where they can be well cared for. In the second panel, the man looks shocked because the cat is starting to pee on his head.

Rex reaches his breaking and/or brow-furrowing point

Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/3/16

They say millennials are abandoning the suburbs and prefer to live in walkable city neighborhoods. Is Sarah a millennial? She’s, what, six, but she was also six in 2004 when I started this blog, which means she was born in 1998 or thereabouts. That makes her Generation Z, which, c’mon guys, we’re gonna need a new name there. Anyhoo, Rex looks pretty perturbed at getting lifestyle advice from a six-year-old, but not really perturbed enough to do anything about it.

Lockhorns, 2/3/16

For everyone who thought the Lockhorns couldn’t accurately depict a modern-day hipster stereotype in that classic Lockhorns style: I guess this panel proved you wrong! They even got that look of withering contempt right, though I’m not sure if a stereotypical hipster would care that much that Leroy is name-checking a boxer who lost the heavyweight championship months ago.

Dennis the Menace, 2/3/16

Little-known fact: it’s possible to become so un-menacing that you loop all the way around and become menacing again. Among menaces, this tricky maneuver is called “the Eddie Haskell”.

I’m uncomfortable with that first-panel B.C. sound effect

Mary Worth, 2/2/16

Huh, Mary’s trip back east seems to be turning into some kind of “let’s revisit old favorites” victory lap. Fresh off of sexually humiliating old pal John Dill (not in the way that he’d prefer), Mary rekindles her old love of ice skating. Let’s not forget that back in 2008, after seeing her old figure skating pal Frank Griffin on TV, she abruptly dropped everything to fly to New York and watch him browbeat his daughter Lynn into skating better. Mary disagreed with Frank’s coaching techniques, because they were making his daughter sad, but it turned out she was actually sad because a boy she liked died and so Mary good-copped her back into competitive skating again and everything was fine (?). Anyway, I certainly hope that as Mary and Olive are out there skating around Rockefeller Plaza, they encounter a deranged Lynn Griffin, doing aimless twirls, still hearing her now-dead father’s enraged shouts in her ears. “This lady doesn’t need my help, does she?” thinks Olive. “Probably not. Probably best to not make eye contact.”

B.C., 2/2/16

One of the interesting things about living in Southern California is that all of the non-religious iconography around Christmas involves festive winter scenes, if by “winter” you mean “winter in the Northern U.S. or Europe.” So much fake snow in so many window displays! That’s considered “real” American winter, even though we’re the most populous state! Factor in the Southwest and Deep South and I wonder if there’s more Americans than not who don’t see white Christmases. Anyway, I’m glad to see B.C., of all strips, acknowledging our glorious diversity of winter climates.

Six Chix, 2/2/16

Here’s a comic about a fish who jumped out of the fishbowl and his friends watched him die in agony and now they’re trying to convince themselves they didn’t see what they just saw. I’m not sure what the “joke” is, per se? Maybe the joke is that anybody thinks there might some escape from the prisons that simultaneously hold us captive and keep us alive.