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You want this week’s top comment? You got it, buddy!

“Now let’s be fair, there are plenty of valid reasons for this lady to call Wilbur ‘pretty good.’ Maybe she just got a cochlear implant and this is literally the first time she’s ever heard singing. Maybe she’s an extraterrestrial just now encountering music. Maybe she has a head injury. Early onset dementia. The list goes on.” –Lauralot

And here’s a big pile of hilarious runners up:

“I’m less concerned with the theological implications of snowmen in heaven than I am the meteorological ones. I get that the upper atmosphere is probably cold enough to sustain a snowman’s corporeal form but does that mean the human angels are freezing under those diaphanous robes? Maybe they should be wearing celestial parkas or at least some holy longhorns. And if heaven is freezing, does that mean, for people who were always cold, it’s actually hell? Hmmm … I guess I am interested in the theology after all.” –Where’s Rocky?

“Is this months-long discussion of The Count’s mobility aid just a setup for some cheap ‘Muddy Boots’ gag? God, I hope so.” –Uncle Lumpy

“Randy is at least showing some body tension that accords with what he is yelling, but April’s body language says ‘Meh, who cares.’ I’m guessing that the actress playing April got together with the actor playing Pavel in his trailer dressing room and is now feeling very relaxed. Yes.” –Poteet

“Oh, come ON, Crock!I hear the rains in Africa’ was right there!!” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

“I have two iPods. One barely works, but the oldest is an iPod Classic. It rules! Holds thousands of songs! ‘Celebration’ included! But it also needs headphones or earbuds, and Seymour has neither. Dammit, Seymour, you were almost a Gen X hipster, but it turns out you’re just dumb. I thought maybe we gonna celebrate and have a good time.” –made of wince

“Don’t worry, Trixie still doesn’t understand the difference between an illustration (the seed package) and the object it represents (the seeds themselves), so she’s still just a baby! A sad, neglected baby sitting in bright daylight with sparse hair and no hat. (‘Even Mommy got to wear a hat!’ she’ll realize while sitting in her expensive therapist’s office one day.)” –BigTed

“At first I understood ‘Judy: Left in Walt’s Car’ to mean that on Feb. 28, 1935, she’d had enough of the strip’s whole (waves arms in futile gesture) … whatever all this is … and hot-footed it out of town, stealing Walt’s car to add insult to injury. ‘Go, Judy, Go!’ I exulted. ‘Go and don’t look back!’ Alas, I was wrong. Gasoline Alley seems to exert a gravitational field that no one can escape, not even poor comics readers. Please excuse my bitter tears.” –Doctor Moreau

“The seeds drink the water from the Earth, then devour the sunlight. Yes, Trixie, all plant life eats sunbeams and your favorite animals eat the plants which means they eat sunbeams, which means you eat sunbeams. Keep that in mind the next time there’s a cloudy day. You made that happen, child.” –Old Man Shadow

“If the scene was one panel longer we’d see that cat’s monocle pop.” –Dyanmoe, on BlueSky

“Estelle’s vacant stare and incomprehensible invitation to Wilbur shows that Dr. Ed has found the perfect combination between outright sedation and zombie-like bliss in her ketamine dosing.” –Hibbleton

“For the sister of someone who died a sinister death while escaping from Dick Tracy in the 1940s, Croptop looks fantastic. She should stop robbing banks and start marketing her workout routine!” –matt w

The three of us should get together sometime. Because knowing you’re thinking of me having sex with another man doesn’t do it for me anymore. I want to see your face.” –cheech wizard

“Gonna be straight up here, I really don’t care about the angry entrenched perspectives on what counts as a ‘silly name’ from people called T-Bone and Baleen.” –jroggs

“So wait, has Walt not heard a single word of dialogue since this whole story began? That’s not fair, we should all be that lucky.” –pugfuggly

Eggs, plural?!?! That means she’s following the instructions for cake-like brownies. CAKE-LIKE! Why not just make cake? This child is evil and must be stopped!” –Old School Allie Cat

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Gasoline Alley, 4/12/24

It’s not news exactly that conflict is the engine of good stories, but I have to say that Gasoline Alley feels like it’s rediscovering this for the first time in years. When it was just Walt and Sheezix on a quixotic quest to stop Electric Acres from happening? Snoozeville. But now that I know it’s turning brother against brother, and fiancé against fianceée? This is it. I’m all in. I hope it devolves very quickly into graphic and gratuitous violence, while Walt wanders around shouting “What’d you say? What’d she say?” until a hurled piece of debris finally puts him out of his misery. It’ll be the sort of thing where Rod Serling steps out of the shadows and explains that this world may be more like ours than we care to admit, until he too is killed in mid-sentence by a hurled piece of debris.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/12/24

And yeah, sure, that sounds like it would be a lot to process, emotionally, but don’t worry, if the anxiety gets too much you can always turn to Rex Morgan, M.D., which just started a storyline about little kids making brownies. It will be extremely uneventful and last six to fifteen weeks.

Mark Trail, 4/12/24

I don’t know, this doesn’t seem like it requires some kind of big investigation. Horses are big and pretty off-putting — they run fast, they have razor-sharp feet, their teeth are real nightmarish if you look too closely at them, and so forth. They’re nice to watch run around, I admit, but I don’t trust them, so why would I want them near my company? And why would it be bad to ask the Bureau of Land Management to help clear them out? The horses are on the dang land that they’re supposed to manage! What do I pay taxes for?

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Mary Worth, 4/11/24

Uh, what’s that? We sent Wilbur on a solo karaoke journey where he sang Celine Dion and you felt nothing? Well, what if we, uh [sweating profusely at the thought that the Wilbur Weston narrative gold mine might finally be tapped out], what if we had him run into his ex, and she’s just like, festooned with pets, including the cat he lost a piss fight to and the dog that just wasn’t that into him? What about now, huh? Does that do it for you? Does Wilbur’s tight little smile as he dies inside give you that little hit of dopamine you crave?

Dick Tracy, 4/11/24

Man, Blowtop, if I were you I would’ve kept quiet about the fact that you’ve been robbing banks (since that’s illegal) and freely offered any information you had about Croptop’s release date (since that’s information that a police officer could easily obtain from the prison system anyway). Not my business I realize but that’s just my suggestion!