Post Content

Shoe, 5/7/24

A classic Shoe bit is to use the structure of a test question at Skyler’s school to deliver a bad joke, even though the result is a test question no teacher, no matter how outlandish their pedagogy, would ever write. Anyway, I appreciate that today’s strip is mixing it up by changing the bad joke delivery mechanism to a pub trivia event, which is a fun and exciting new concept, if you’re a Shoe reader. I love that Roz hasn’t bothered to actually hire a trivia host and is just kind of reading questions off her phone. She’s not really trying very hard, so why should this guy actually try to come up with the right answer, when he could just deliver a gag calculated to delight 80-year-olds everywhere?

Judge Parker, 5/7/24

Remember “Declan”? I barely do, having mentioned him on this blog exactly once, and while a wine-drunk Abbey hinted during that appearance that maybe someday he and Neddie would get married, apparently Sophie is less enthused. I’m excited that this might be how we get back cold, calculating Sophie, who’s crunched the numbers and determined that Neddie and Declan have not put in enough love-hours to adequately establish a pair-bond worthy of being validated by the state government.

Post Content

Judge Parker, 5/3/24

Hey, guys, remember Pavel, a Russian crime boss and the first interesting new character Judge Parker introduced in years? In the old days of the strip, after threatening some ultra violence against our heroes for a few weeks, he would’ve quickly become their friends, but in the year 2024, he instead died when April’s mom suicide-bombed him. But the good news is now we can have plenty of strips where Randy and April can “just be together,” day after day of them sitting together on the couch and being their boring-ass selves, can’t wait.

Mary Worth, 5/3/24

Fellas, if you’re ever in a scenario where you’re supposed to pay for something but don’t have the money, just ostentatiously turn your pockets inside out like this! It’s a delightful bit and everyone loves it, so it’ll really cut the tension. If you can arrange for some moths to fly out, all the better, but that’s not strictly necessary.

Gasoline Alley, 5/3/24

“Really, Rufus, nobody in this strip ‘passes’! Why, you and I have been in this strip for at least fifty years and are no closer to death’s sweet release! We’re here forever. Forever!” [echoing, sinister laughter]

Post Content

Mary Worth, 4/14/24

Are you feeling down, my friends? Depressed? Abandoned? Do you worry that nobody loves you, simply because, in many ways both large and small, you have with your own actions made yourself unloveable? Well, just think about this: maybe someday you’ll rudely bump into a child because you’re deep in your own internal pity party and not watching where you’re walking, and in doing so save that child’s life. Wow! Really makes you think! Or, it would make you think if you even notice that it happens, which you won’t, because you are, and I can’t emphasize this enough, incredibly self-absorbed.

Judge Parker, 4/14/24

Look, I wish no ill upon Judge Parker. I hope it continues to grace the funny pages, both physical and virtual, for years to come. But I will say that, if any comic strip, soap opera or otherwise, decided to wrap things up, there are a lot worse ways to write the final chapter than a rogue CIA agent preparing all the other characters for a murder-suicide pact.