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Dennis the Menace, 6/17/26

I can see why Dennis thinks that Henry, who wears a bow tie everywhere and thinks that you should change into a polo shirt when it’s time to do manual labor outdoors, would be good at owning a horse, if by “good at owning a horse” you mean “wealthy enough to own an animal that’s very expensive to purchase, house, and care for, and that does not provide any economic benefits in modern society.” He’s wrong, though: the Mitchells live in a modest suburban home and all their meals are prepared by Alice, who is by all accounts terrible at it but the family apparently doesn’t have other options. Your dad doesn’t have horse money, Dennis! He barely has dog money!

Luann, 6/17/26

“Lily and Brenna remind me of two other girls I know! Girls with similar names! Those girls are you and me, by the way. I made sure they’d draw us in the last panel so that people know that’s who I’m talking about, because I don’t respect our readers’ intelligence.”

Mary Worth, 6/17/26

Remember when Tommy was the type of guy who earnestly thought-ballooned about having his own meth lab? Well, now he’s the type of guy who earnestly refers to a bathing suit as “skivvies.” It’s true what they say: jail changes a man, for the worse.

Crankshaft, 6/17/26

I’m sorry, is this strip trying to sell us the idea that Harry Dinkle’s dad, who would’ve been alive well into the 20th century, invented the concept of uniforms? No. Absolutely not. I refute this. I refute this!

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Gil Thorp, 6/16/26

Good news, everyone! Luke has given up on his pagan beliefs that Milford High is haunted by the shades of its dead coaches, and has now returned to the orthodox doctrine of the Holy Mother Church, which holds that Jesus’s “spiritual body” can physically interpose itself between horny teens to prevent sexual sin.

Bizarro, 6/16/26

A few hours ago, they force-fed that antelope something with the winner’s name written on it — something hard, inedible, and painful to eat, as that’s the only thing that could remain intact in the digestive system long enough for this to work — and now that lion is going to eviscerate the poor animal live on stage and pull the name from its steaming, quivering guts. That’s what’s happening here, right? That’s the joke? That’s the nightmare to which this pun has led us?

Shoe, 6/16/26

“It’s so … erotic! Old guys usually aren’t my thing, but I’m not made of stone.”

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/15/26

I genuinely love that Mae Mae and this lady from “the media” are having a respectful argument by making statements that are as close as possible to flat, unadorned statements of fact. There’s no big secret here: Mae Mae quit Hollywood years ago. She’s just working in a cafe now. But consider: She’s famous, and her disappearance was a mystery. Well, she was famous, but now she’s just a regular person — albeit, as one cannot deny, a person who was once the top box-office draw in the world. It really lets us quickly and efficiently see that the dispute has arisen over the question of what constitutes a “mystery” — must there be some inherently complex or surprising “solution” for something to qualify? or is a mystery simply a thing that many people want to know, but do not? — and whether “famous” is a permanent or temporary quality. Looking forward to everyone getting epistemological closure on this by Thursday at the latest!

Garfield, 6/15/26

Look, Garfield hates Mondays. Fundamentally, bone-deep, he hates them. And that’s not just because he needs coffee to pep him up after the relaxing weekend — it’s because Monday is a truly cursed 24-hour period, and nothing should bring him joy on this, the worst day of the week. That big smile in panel three is a betrayal of everything that the Garfield brand should stand for, and it makes me sick.