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Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/20/26

One of the special interest rabbit holes I’ve gone down in the past few years is the history of the composition of the Bible, and I’ve become particularly fascinated by the so-called Documentary Hypothesis, which is one theory (though by no means the only accepted one) about how the Torah (the first five books of the Hebrew Bible) were put together. Joel Baden’s The Composition of the Pentateuch has what’s probably the most recently formulated version of it, which goes something like this: at some point after the Judean elite returned from the Babylonian exile, some scholar or scholars took four different source documents that told different versions of the stories of the creation of the universe and the early history of the Hebrews, and edited them together into a single narrative. This editing consisted of meticulously figuring out how the different episodes could be strung together chronologically without creating discrepancies like characters dying and then coming back to life, though as you would expect, it still creates a lot of puzzling results. (For instance, Baden demonstrates that the story of Joseph being sold into slavery is really difficult to follow because it’s actually three somewhat contradictory stories mashed together.)

Anyway, here’s what’s to me the funniest aspect of this. The first four books of the Torah, covering the creation of the world, the legendary arrival of Abraham’s family in Canaan, their descendants’ enslavement in Egypt, and their descendants’ escape and wandering in the desert, were created by interweaving three different sources, called J, E, and P by scholars, together. There’s a fourth source, D, that covers much of the same narrative territory. But D, as originally written, had a literary framing device: on the last day of the Exodus, just before the Hebrews cross into the Promised Land, Moses stands before the multitude and recaps for them the history of the Hebrews and the laws that they received. And because the editors are so single-minded on keeping things chronological, this recap (the book of Deuteronomy) is placed at the very end of the story, so the effect of reading the edited version is that you read the whole thing and then you get a retelling at the end, which differs in quite a few details from the earlier versions of it you’ve already read!

So, sorry for the long digression, but what I’m wondering here is: are we going to get a full-on retelling of the fake self-help Mirakle Method story, from Mud’s point of view? Will it differ in subtle but meaningful ways from the 2023-2024 strips that laid it out in the first place? Is Rex Morgan, M.D., being pieced together from ancient texts, and will this act of scholarship cause a worldwide religious transformation over the next few centuries? Stay tuned!

Family Circus, 3/20/26

That went, uh, very off the rails and I apologize to those who were bewildered by it. Hey, you know what I hope doesn’t serve as the beginning of a new religion any time soon? This Family Circus panel where Jeffy is ranting about how “shadows don’t have faces.” It’s creepy and I don’t like it! Stop talking about the faceless shadows, Jeffy!

Alice, 3/20/26

You know, I’ve never been really clear on what Alice’s job is, but this strip forces me to confront a harrowing question on that subject: whatever it is, is it possible that she’s good at it? I will be taking most of the weekend to dwell on this with increasing unease.

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Mary Worth, 3/19/26

Say what you will about the evil gangs that are keeping “Trixie” captive in a Cambodian compound, but you have to respect that they let their enslaved workers customize their laptop’s UI. Going to a no-distraction, all-text screen for chatting with a mark really helps you get into the zone, you know? Like you can get into your character’s headspace and try to figure out what she might say that will ring true and also separate your victim from his money. Unfortunately, “Trixie” seems to have botched it: Harvey’s facial expression looks less like “Oh no! I must hurry to the nearest Western Union, post-haste!” and more “Hmm … devastating injury … perhaps a lifetime of impaired mobility … this is not aligning with my acrobatic sex plans for when we meet up … who else is out there on this app, I wonder?”

Gearhead Gertie, 3/19/26

Look, I don’t want to say that there’s only so many jokes you can make in a recurring comic panel that is committed to only doing jokes about NASCAR. I’m just saying that today we got to “You know what can interfere with your enjoyment of NASCAR? Your neighbor’s leaf blower. What if there was someone who loved NASCAR so much … that she did something about it,” which, honestly, having typed that out, I actually think is pretty good. I hope we go further down this road. Gertie will stop at nothing to remove all distractions from her monomania! She will leave a trail of dead behind her, you must remain silent at all times

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Hi and Lois, 3/18/26

Look, we’re all adults here. Well, maybe some of you are weird kids with grown-up taste in ironic internet websites, I don’t know, but my point is, let’s ignore Trixie’s insipid heliocentric rambling and turn our eyes to the fun little domestic drama in panel one. Check out how beaten down and defeated Hi looks; that’s a man who has passive-aggressively talked about high energy bills for weeks even as time slips further and further into air conditioning season; and rather than be gracious after he’s given in, Lois is doing a little pantomime of concern: “Oh, but can we afford it, Hi? Will we need to dip into the children’s college fund, in order to keep the temperature in here below 80 degrees?” My own natural thrift puts me tentatively on Hi’s side here, but they could be taking other steps, like following Trixie’s lead and pricing solar panels, or at least taking off their sweaters.

Judge Parker, 3/18/26

One of my least favorite little narrative devices is when some character makes a daring and self-destructive move in order to achieve some goal, and then comes out on top against all odds, but when he does, announces that he understands he shouldn’t have done it in the first place. This happens more often than you’d think, and it’s especially annoying in cases like this, when Randy is like “I’m a bad person! I’ve suffered nothing for my choices and actually had a pretty cool time getting broken out of prison by my hot, murderous wife, but I just want to apologize for my wrongs! Probably my daughter doesn’t love me anymore, right? Whatever, she’s someone else’s problem now, which, uh, I again acknowledge I should feel bad about.”

Luann, 3/18/26

A thing about the comic strip Luann is that sometimes you’ll get a whole week’s worth of strips where one character just passive-aggressively talks shit about another character within earshot of them. And the shit-talker is the one you’re supposed to be sympathetic towards. It’s wild stuff!