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Curtis, 11/17/06

You know, many once-great works of continuous narrative art reach a certain point where they, for reasons mysterious to us on the outside, feel a need to add an adorable character whom everyone hates. Though this is a move to keep things fresh, it ends up disgusting fans and ruining everything. So, for instance, the Flinstones had the Great Gazoo, and Scooby Doo had Scrappy Doo, and now Curtis has “Oogie.” Except that this is Curtis, so I’m not sure “ruined” is really the right word here.

Apartment 3-G, 11/17/06

Wow, Gina is the most socially inept person who’s ever managed to get out of high-school alive. The only thing I can think of is that she’s a serious method actor, and her character was just punched in the jaw before coming on-stage.

They’ll Do It Every Time, 11/17/06

You know, I like to think that I’m a pretty close reader of TDIET. In fact, I probably spend more mental energy parsing its panel every day than 99 percent of the people in this country. And yet I can’t tell you exactly what it means when the narration begins with the phrase “Living on the edge,” as it does fairly regularly. Nothing even remotely edgy happens in the panels that contain this phrase; it’s just the usual litany of insane, petty rants and human degradation. Today is a good example, though it might indicate that Ma and Pa are on “the edge” of death; they certainly have the stunned stares of a couple who are suddenly coming to grips with their own mortality. I gotta say that if my dad were sitting around inside with his eyeglasses up on his forehead, I’d be looking into homes, too.

Mark Trail, 11/17/06

“Man, if only we had some way to, I don’t know, explosively propel tiny metal projectiles into them, thus killing them! But where would we get such a thing? I guess we’re just going to have to tie them up to death.”

Family Circus, 11/17/08

“It’s a little channel I like to call ‘Ambien,’ and it’s on 24 hours a day, honey!”

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Spider-Man, 11/16/06

You know, you might think that Dr. Octopus has his priorities all in the wrong order here. But when you realize that a good third of Spider-Man strips involve someone yelling at the television set, you can imagine what a hard time he’d have without one.

Apartment 3-G, 11/16/06

OH, SNAP GINA! That is totally not going to get you into Tommie’s pants. Her white, white pants. Jesus, someone teach these people how to dress.

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Apartment 3-G, 11/15/06

The Tommie and Gina storylines have reappeared … with a vengeance! All day before I had a chance to read this, I was seeing comments like “I think I saw this in a porn movie once,” yet I still wasn’t prepared for the oddness. I agree that the last panel doesn’t really make sense unless Gina’s smock-thing doesn’t cover her ass or something and she’s come to make the moves. Because the last person who you should be going to for fashion advice is Tommie, and the last person who should be making snide remarks about your manila smock-thing/sky-blue shirt combo is someone who looks in her closet and says, “Hey, you know what would go great with this dusty pink polo shirt? A gleaming white v-neck sweater!”

Still and all, I’m hoping the two of them go at it post haste. If nothing else, it would get them out of those hideous clothes.

Ziggy, 11/15/06

You know what would have made this cartoon marginally funnier? If we could actually see the mice making off with Ziggy’s cell phone. Or see the antenna sticking out of the mousehole. Or see Ziggy holding an empty cell-phone holder. Or really see anything that would indicate that this wasn’t one of hundreds of photocopies of a single pre-drawn “Ziggy talks to the mice” panel, all awaiting only the addition of “hilarious” dialogue and published at reasonable intervals so as not to be glaringly obvious.

(Note for libel purposes: I’m not saying that Ziggy actually uses photocopied panels instead of coming up with a new one every day. I’m just saying that it would save a lot of work if it did.)

They’ll Do It Every Time, 11/15/06

The funny thing about today’s TDIET is how quickly the cheerful scene in panel one degenerates into full-on Lockhorns-esque dysfunction. Sure, Lugbutt probably should have made up his mind about his culinary choices before he sent wifey down to the kitchen; but then, wifey’s transformation from well-coifed and cheerful to bleary-eyed and exhausted after carrying a single cup of tea up a single flight of stairs smacks of melodrama. I think she’s been nursing the urge to pan-fry Lugbutt’s hide for some time. Do it now, lady! He’s feeble and can’t run! Get the pan!

The important thing about this panel, though, is that it’s been sent in from a resident of New Orleans. Apparently, the citizens of that devastated city have been able to move on from Katrina and once again focus their attention on petty domestic drama. Of course, it’s possible that Lugbutt’s been laid low from exposure to toxic mold blooming in the walls of his flood-ravaged home. Or from cholera.

Archie, 11/15/06

See, this is why Archie should stop wooing Veronica and stop hanging around the obscenely wealthy Lodge family: because their riches are devouring their souls from the inside out. Poor Smithers, who has no doubt served as a faithful family retainer for longer than Veronica has been alive, is not a “who” to her, but a “what.” The odd phrasing of the strip’s punchline might have made sense if at some point Lodge pater had asked “What did Archie spill it on” or some such; as it is, it’s clear that the vast class gulf between Veronica and Smithers has caused her to see him as just another piece of furniture that her family owns. Rise up in revolution, Smithers! You have nothing to lose but your chains!

Family Circus, 11/15/06

Speaking of which, Billy seems to be attending a school run by Communists.