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Good evening everybody! Your COTW in a moment, but first two items of interest! First of all, I know many of you fondly remember the now-cancelled My Cage strip. Well, the two creative minds behind, Ed Power and Melissa DeJesus, are cooking up a new project: a graphic novel called Santa vs. Dracula! It’s about, well, pretty much what you’d think, based on the title. You can help them get it off the ground by pre-ordering through Kickstarter! Click the link to see some sample pages. You know you want it!

Also! You have of course already been made aware of [Citation Needed], the exciting new compilation of the best of Wikipedia’s worst writing by Conor Lastowka and myself. But perhaps you are thinking “Feh, I only purchase goods and services that are endorsed by John Hodgman and/or Rob Bricken of Topless Robot fame.” Well, get your wallet, my friend.

And now, your comment of the week!

“Mountie McQueen is just following strict Canadian law enforcement protocol. He jumps out from behind a tree and shouts ‘Surprise!’ It’s kind of their version of Miranda rights.” –geekwhisperer

And the runners up … very funny!

“Since there are no trees in sight, where exactly did that beaver get those branches? Unless it’s actually chewing on moose bones — in which case this scenario is far more horrifying than anyone imagined.” –BigTed

“I love the befuddled expressions on Jughaid and Snuffy. It’s like one of them is going to break the silence by saying ‘What we gon’ say when we git our pichure tooken?'” –Red Greenback

‘Really? Aren’t you younger than Daddy?’ ‘Yes, dear, but I’m his trophy wife. You, on the other hand, aren’t anybody’s trophy anything, unless there’s an award for worst outcome of finding the condom box empty.'” –seismic-2

“You can tell Rick works in the music industry — what with his powder-blue Members Only jacket and regular boy’s haircut, he’s practically 50 Cent’s twin!” –Patrick

“As we all know, when it comes to songwriting, quantity is what matters. Tommie doesn’t wonder whether her songs are insipid, predictable, tuneless variations on the theme of hoping the right man with a neckerchief comes along someday, or how will she be able to know her true love if his hair is the same color as another man’s; she wonders whether she’s written enough of them. And Rick’s like, ‘…yeah, sure, let’s go with that. Not enough songs.'” –Yahtzee

“I find it makes a considerable difference to assume that whenever Mary has a hand in a relationship, either by giving advice or by directly involving herself without warrant, she dictates that the couple refrain from any sexual activities until she alone has given the go-ahead. It would explain all of the facial expressions anyways.” –R Felix

Judge Parker: I thought you guys said Sophie was in junior high? Why can Derek drive? Why do I kind of think he’s cute JUST KIDDING LALALA I DIDN’T SAY THAT” –twg

“Oh, right, like Mary Worth goes to that diner for the pie and not for the emotionally crippled staff.” –Lolsworth

“Chip has downloaded the ‘Grammatically incorrect past-tense verb’ app, the ultimate in parental-annoyance technology. ‘BROUGHT, you ignorant son of a bitch!’ is all Hi will be able to think for the next three weeks.” –Doctor Handsome

“I worry about Bobby and Gina growing old together, though. If they can’t see over the steering wheel NOW, what hope do they have of driving off into the sunset when they’re eighty? Too small for cars, too fragile for skateboards: it’s a disaster waiting to happen.” –Krazy Kat

Thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And this is where we’d thank our advertisers — if we had any this week. To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.

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Funky Winkerbean, 10/28/11

I have to admit that I like the sly little smile on witch-girl’s face in this cartoon. “Tee-hee! He sassed back to our teacher, using a vaguely appropriate bit of wordplay! He’s a bad boy who plays by his own rules, but isn’t a complete dolt! I’m totally going to regret losing my virginity to him in two years!”

Hi and Lois, 10/28/11

Ha ha, it’s funny because Chip can set specific songs for his ringtone, which is a feature that’s actually been available on phones for years and years now and isn’t new or awesome, and also isn’t funny. But, um, his dad sure hates it, so, hilarity?

Apartment 3-G, 10/28/11

Wait, Margo is talking about liking Lu Ann, and hugging, and her face isn’t twisted with rage and disgust? This is what comes of this “art without rules” business. ART NEEDS RULES! THERE ARE TERRIBLE CONSEQUENCES WHEN ART HAPPENS AND THERE ARE NO RULES!

Mary Worth, 10/28/11

Meanwhile, Bobby and Gina are driving down Easy Street, far in excess of the posted speed limit, while gazing into each other’s eyes! What could possibly go wrong?

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Gil Thorp, 10/27/11

Now, I know it’s hard to focus on the speechifying, what with all the sexy, sweaty weight-lifting being served up to us, but there’s some good old fashioned mentoring strategizing going on here! Sure, Gil may have only heard of Asperger’s Syndrome like three strips ago, and the only thing he knows about Brody Abro is that he doesn’t like talking to other kids, but his unerring coaching instincts tell him that what Brody really needs is to talk to some other kids. This can’t possibly end badly! Look at how sweaty the man is, he clearly knows what he’s talking about.

Mary Worth, 10/27/11

“God damn it, am I going to have to find true love for every mousy waitress in this stupid diner? Uh, let’s see … where there is love there is can be no fearto live in hearts we leave behind is not to die … am I getting warm yet? Christ, I just want to eat some pie in peace already.”