Angry sex and sound effects
Apartment 3-G, 8/23/12
Hey, sometimes Apartment 3-G plots get a little leisurely, but leave it to Margo to pick up the pace:
|8/20 — 21||Introductions|
|8/22 — 23||CONFLICT!|
|8/24 — 25||Hate-sex, tears, attempted murder|
|8/27 — 9/13||Lu Ann paints a flower|
|9/14 — 10/8||Tommie agonizes over her flossing schedule|
Edge City, 8/23/12
Obsessive neurotic Abby Ardin hires a babysitter sight unseen to free her kids from the curse of unstructured time during the last days of their summer. Emily shows up bearing a full complement of Rebel Grrl signifiers and a new drivers license. Abby, too embarrassed to admit second thoughts, leaves Colin and Carly in her care. Hilarious hijinx ensue, but no one is hurt, and everyone Learns a Valuable Lesson. Forward two weeks. Obsessive neurotic Abby Ardin ….
Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 8/23/12
Sheriff Tait interprets “T’ain’t no big thing” as a confession to misdemeanor theft.
Hey, it wouldn’t be summer without incomprehensible sports action in Gil Thorp! This tournament is match play, which counts holes won or tied instead of total strokes for 18 holes. Steve is playing with a 25 handicap, which means he cuts one stroke off his score on every hole, plus a second stroke on the seven most difficult holes. A “net birdie” means he shot par on a difficult hole or birdied a standard hole.
But hey waitaminute. Steve wanted to play in this tournament expressly to trash-talk an opponent. Yet all we’ve seen out of Steve and twosome partner Pat Laske so far is Judge Parker-level politesse and manlove, unless Steve thinks congratulating an opponent on a three-inch putt is the epitome of smack. Frankly, if we don’t see a huge explosion of PTSD-fueled fury by 18, it’s gonna be a big disappointment. Also: “PLOOK.” And isn’t that a lovingly-rendered golf cart?
Jay Leno and Arsenio Hall duke it out for King of Late Night. Suddenly, there’s a knock at the door — oh, no — it’s Jimmy Fallon! PLAP!
— Uncle Lumpy