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Judge Parker, 8/24/12

Last seen tormenting Curtis, Cuss Skunk returns to her rural roots to divert Sam and Avery while the marijuana growers recover Avery’s incriminating photo. @★ω*!!

The outlines of the growers’ nefarious plan are now clear: rather than murder Sam and Avery or steal the camera, they intend to prank them into submission. Watch for the criminals to put makeup on our heroes as they sleep, cut off the toes of their socks, and hoist their underwear up the flagpole. They were going to short-sheet Avery’s bed, but it doesn’t seem to be in use tonight.

Mark Trail, 8/24/12

And in today’s other criminals ‘n’ cameras story, Cherry reveals that her plan to protect Rusty from the sheep-murderers is to hope nothing bad happens. The Game Warden’s plan is to hunker down and rely on Mark Trail. They have an equal probability of success!

Family Circus, 8/24/12

Billy’s decision to join the Hasidim will not sit well back at the Keane Kompound.

Gil Thorp, 8/24/12

Oh hey, another advantage of match play is that once a player is ahead by more holes than are left to play, the match is over — and who doesn’t love less golf? Steve’s delighted that his terrible performance gives him special alone time to pitch his miserable woo to Molly Kinsella: “Hey Molly, will you go out with me now that I’m a documented loser?

Pluggers, 8/24/12

Pluggers are slobs.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 8/24/12

“Sorry, Melissa — I engaged a lady once, and it didn’t work out well. Not well at all!”

Mary Worth, 8/24/12

Gaaaaaaaah — “Tell me AGAIN?” ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? People came together to help one another, and life is brutal — is that so freaking hard to understand? Sheesh.

Four hairs. There are always and forever exactly four hairs.

— Uncle Lumpy