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Gil Thorp, 7/21/17

AHHHH TREY DAVIS! Trey Davis is the ex-Mudlark who got name-dropped last December, which sent me into such public paroxysms of joy that I have to assume that his appearance now is entirely fan service, which is to say service for me, one of Gil Thorp’s twenty or so fans. I’m thrilled that we’re going to find out about his last decade or so of backstory! Did he get recruited to play college ball? Did he join the army? Did he dye his hair blond as part of the total transformation of his identity that accompanied his military service? Did he found Mudlark Force, an elite, secret special-forces unit comprised entirely of former Milford athletes who wage an undercover war against America’s enemies and learn lessons along the way? Are Heather and Kevin going to be in the Pakistani Federally Administered Tribal Areas less than 24 hours from now? I’M SO EXCITED!!!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/21/17

“Ah yes,” says Rex. “People who were popular in high school and got involved in ‘music scenes’ might be charismatic, but they’re generally bad people. You should really tell everyone you named your kid after the the sci-fi character who went to Mars to make love to their sexy princesses. It’s much more respectable.”

Gasoline Alley, 7/21/17

Oh, goody! One of Gasoline Alley’s least appealing regular characters will be engaging in some good old-fashioned sexual competition with a thoroughly unappealing newcomer! It’s a story that will have audiences saying “let’s talk about scrapbooking for seventeen weeks again!”