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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 3/30/19

I’m not sure which I find more disturbing: the physical configuration of Snuffy’s body, which appears to be lazily half-flopping off the bed as he refuses to put even the least bit of effort into maintaining his dignity, or the topography of the Smif property, which is now revealed to be riven by one of Hootin’ Holler’s innumerable chasms. At least we now have an explanation of why Loweezy is willing to stand for so long by the mailbox, waiting for missives from the outside world to arrive.

Judge Parker, 3/30/19

Oh, hey, it turns out the reason Marie’s husband Roy faked his death is that he was deep in debt to the mob — like, $1.3 million dollars deep — and now they’re gonna come after Marie! Of course, the Parker-Drivers are famous for writing large checks to make problems go away for the family, but Marie’s not exactly family, is she? So, who do we think the “people” Sam knows are who he’s going to foist Marie off onto? I’m guessing it’s the big shot Hollywood agent who he connected with the rural marijuana farmer back in 2012. Hope that mineshaft is still climate controlled!

Zits, 3/30/19

I know this supposed to be “the newspaper comics poking fun at itself,” but I dearly hope it’s actually presaging a vicious feud on the funny pages. Watch out, 90-year-old legacy strips! Young whippersnappers that have only been on the comics pages for a mere 20 years — the blink of an eye, really — are coming for you!