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Judge Parker, 11/20/19

Hey guys, remember Honey Ballinger? Remember how Sophie coveted her boyfriend Derek and then plotted to steal away her boyfriend? Remember how Sophie later got mad that Honey was going steal away Sophie’s boyfriend, Derek? And then, uh, there was the whole confusing car crash/kidnapping plot where Honey got away but Sophie was kidnapped, for a while? Remember how Sam and Sophie’s dad teamed up to track down the kidnapper, super-incompetently? Well, Judge Parker remembers, and is here to remind you that material consequences still remain things suffered by non-Parker-Spencer-Drivers, as Sam, an insanely wealthy man who has apparently decided to restart his law practice on a whim and was shopping around for pricey office real estate last week while his erstwhile partner in vigilantism cashes unemployment checks somewhere, can attest.

Blondie, 11/20/19

I have to admit that I don’t actually get the joke here or the transition between the two panels, unless Lou is saying that so-called “secret menus” (In-N-Out Burger’s is probably the most famous) are essentially marketing devices designed to build word-of-mouth buzz and drive in more customers, whereas Lou’s Diner, quite obviously, has a number of operational problems and can barely handle the customers it has.

Mary Worth, 11/20/19

I swear to God that when I wrote the title for yesterday’s post I had no idea what joys today’s Mary Worth would bring. Now, you might find Wilbur’s song choice wildly inappropriate, as the complex narrative of “Escape (The Piña Colada Song)” — in which the narrator seeks to cheat on his “lady” by answering a personal ad, only to discover that the ad was placed by her, looking to cheat on him — doesn’t really map onto his and Estelle’s relationship at all. But beyond the specific details of the story, the song’s core message — that the relationship you’re in now might seem unpleasant, like a literal prison, but honestly, if you go looking for something better you won’t find it, so you might as well stick with it — is probably the most convincing argument he could make in his favor at this point. Anyway, I stand by what I said yesterday: Estelle should definitely, definitely call the cops.