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Gil Thorp, 6/24/20

Just as it’s easy for a fish to forget that it lives in water, it’s easy for readers of Gil Thorp to forget that Gil Thorp takes place in a community/universe where interest in high school athletics is unusually intense. Like, an unsanctioned baseball game between the local high school and the local alternative school? I can see families and maybe friends showing up for this. But sun-seekers? The idle curious? Watching teens play baseball? There actually could have been a whole plot about Mike “The Mayor” using his extreme extroversion to promote interest in this game amongst the citizenry, but there hasn’t been and without it I feel like my ability to suspend disbelief has been stretched to its breaking point, no matter how much admire the new spiffy t-shirts.

Mary Worth, 6/24/20

If you want a strip that shits on millennials, you of course have Dustin. But Mary Worth is proving itself on the cutting edge by taking on the scourge of zoomers, the next up-and-coming generation of terrible young people. We all of course remember the brazen Jannie, the college student who heartlessly took advantage of Ian’s kind nature by trying to flirt her way out of an assignment and then reacting with vile profanity when he refused to play along. Now we have Madi, who’s younger (and therefore worse), and she not only cusses like a sailor herself but she left her clothes strewn all over Saul’s apartment. Man, this whole generation is a lost cause! We didn’t even know how good we had it with the millennials, even though we made fun of them for looking at their phones all the time. I wish Madi were looking at her phone, instead of rolling her eyes in that extremely aggresive way!

Mark Trail, 6/24/20

Most Hollywood celebs with lousy personalities have bad reputations in private, but their teams of managers and publicists work hard to make sure their public reputation is at least neutral or “exciting bad boy who doesn’t play by the Man’s rules.” If this Jeremy Cartwright is unable to be contained by such professional image-scrubbing then I am very excited to see the sparks fly when he and Mark meet up in LoFo! Will we finally get to see Mark punch … himself, or at least his Hollywood doppelgänger?

Funky Winkerbean, 6/24/20

Oh, haha, were you tired of “no actress is good enough to play Les’s blessed dead wife Lisa“? Well, good news, because we’re going to start alternating with “Cindy gets extremely jealous when her husband, an actor, kisses a lady in an acting role.” You know, a little something for the ladies (?).