Honestly Alice should be the one snooping rather than Henry, it’d be sexier
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Dennis the Menace, 3/7/23
You don’t spend [mumblety mubelty] years as The Comics Curmudgeon without endless little bits of comics trivia ending up jumbled up in your brain, to the extent that you don’t even know which are real and which your brain spawned on its own accord. Like, for instance, my first thought on reading this was, “Wait, isn’t Henry supposed to be an engineer of some kind? Or an architect? I’m pretty sure we’ve seen a drafting board in his office.” Maybe it’s true! Maybe one of my smart commenters will find the link to the relevant panel that I cannot. But even if it is, clearly such established continuity is less important than taking the opportunity to have Dennis menace his father’s masculinity vis-à-vis his class status.
Gasoline Alley, 3/7/23
Ida Noe is a creepy talking doll who is not a longtime aspect of Gasoline Alley continuity, but rather has just been around for a few months, which is just a blink on the geological timescale on which we measure developments in Gasoline Alley. Still, despite her shockingly recent introduction, hardcore Gasoliney Alley residents apparently need to be reminded of what her whole deal is, which is why she’s delivering the instant classic line “Ida Noe’s my name! Time travel is my game!” Last time Ida Noe used her powers of time travel, she brought our gang to Santa’s beach vacation, which I … guess is time travel? Of a sort? Anyway, maybe this time around she’ll take the kids to the future, when Walt has woken up from his nap.
Gil Thorp, 3/7/23
“But most importantly, no one got hurt. Which is definitely a thing that could’ve happened, when you have a bunch of teenagers competing to see who can lift more weight, showing off in front of a hooting audience of their peers! Ha ha, we really dodged a bullet there.”
Hi and Lois, 3/7/23
Good lord, these two women look exhausted. Sorry maintaining the basics of socially acceptable politeness while having a vaguely unpleasant interaction is so trying, ladies, but that’s the price of civilization!!!
218 replies to “Honestly Alice should be the one snooping rather than Henry, it’d be sexier”
DtM: “PSSST! My MOM wanted me to tell you she’s a bricklayer LAYER, just as soon as Dad leaves to count more beans at his office.”
Here’s Henry at his office with a PC.
@Uncle Lumpy: #2
Boring cubicle drone Henry Mitchell is rethinking the promise of “take your kid to work” day, and is fantasizing about how much better taking Dennis with him would be if his job were, say, lion tamer or alligator wrestler. “O.K., kiddo, your turn now!”
DTM – I can only picture Henry headed to work in shirt and tie, overly-short dress pants, and a briefcase. That work attire screams hipster barber, or maybe artisanal cheese sales. But they’re a single-income family, so that is probably more like marketing/communications for a start-up that makes software for barbers and cheesemongers..
DtM: I always thought strip canon established that Henry Mitchell is an accountant. Of course, continuity has never been a big point with these strips.
CS: On the asshole to moron scale Ed is running about 10% asshole to 90% moron today.
DtM: It’s emasculating enough for Henry that his son has finally experienced a “real” man.
MW: And the winner of the Whinier Than Jared Award…
9CL: Edda having pointed teeth is the only believable aspect of the strip.
RMMD: I don’t want to be that person, but could someone PLEASE need medical attention soon?
SF: I could be premature on this, but Ted may actually be growing a pair.
SHOE: I was a little shocked to see a jailbird, but he’s obviously a bloated kleptocrat, so no biggie.
GT: “Most importantly, no one got hurt.” Buncha snowflakes. Back in my day, it didn’t count as a real pep rally unless there was mass destruction. I recall when the Lakehurst High School football team arranged a fundraiser where contributors were going to get zeppelin rides as a premium. It didn’t go well.
DtM: Dennis: “Are these the bricks my dad said he was sh*tting trying to figure out a way to pay you?”
MW: New year for Wilbur, new pseudonym
RMMD: I hope we see each and every billboard announcing how far it is to “South of the Border” and/or “Ron Jon Surf Shop”
JP: Sam: “Step 2 was to ice our knuckles until you woke up.”
DtM: Behind the door, Henry is surreptitiously checking on his phone to see if vitiligo is contagious.
H&L: Ugh, is there anything worse that when someone holds out their phone to make you look at their family photos? Well, other than when they try to get you to read the daily Hi & Lois.
9CL: Were you looking forward to the origin story for why Edda and Amos associate sex so strongly with exhibitionism and water? No? Absolutely not even a little bit? Well, too bad, here are some young children gawking at, participating in, and adding more fluids to some public fucking.
Dennis the Menace: Architect? Accountant? It doesn’t really matter. What truly matters to a comic strip trying to cling to norms from 70 years ago is that he identifies as “pussy.”
@Guillermo el chiclero:
CS: On the asshole to moron scale Ed is running about 10% asshole to 90% moron today.
In cartoon physics, Ed can be 100% asshole and 100% moron at the same time.
Well, according the Dennis the Menace Fandom Wiki (yeah, I know, I know), “Dennis’ father is a workaday aerospace engineer”. Which, huh, I wouldn’t have called the most workaday thing in the world, but what do I know.
Marvin: A human being would say “Here’s a ‘notebook’ or a ‘scrapbook'” but a human being wouldn’t hand such a thing to the filthy munchkin in the first place.
A 1950s entry has Dennis pushing food on Henry, who insists that he’s naturally thin and will never be husky like Cowboy Bob. If this were Family Circus or Crock, the panel would be updated every decade with some newer beefy actor. Today, Dennis might compare his dad unfavorably to Henry Cavill or Jason Momoa.
DtM “My dad is a bean counter! Yup, has to count every last bean in his plate before he can eat them. The doctor even has a fancy acronym for it.”
GA I dunno, Walt’s reaction to the arrival of Gasoline Alley characters is pretty much the same as mine.
GT Is this an ad for a fictional charity? Why are we looking at this? What is going on?
H&L Ha, it’s like ‘facebook friends’ but on your phone, just like Facebook isn’t (???)
DtM: When he reaches puberty, Dennis looks at his mom and then looks at the bricklayers wife, a toothless barmaid, and decides that being a beancounter isn’t so bad after all.
JP: “You can’t take me to the police because of dirty cops. You can’t even go outside because someone is bound to shoot you.” These lines, which are actual dialogue from today’s strip, sound like the absurdist interpretive snarks we’ve been making. Marciuliano’s trying to put us out of our jobs!
It’s possible that the recent 180-degree swing of the cops’ position with Duncan is Marciuliano realizing at least one of the ways he’s completely borked this story. After all, what does it matter if the police are corrupt if they’re mortal enemies of the judge? They have even more reason to help put Duncan behind bars! So, uh, forget about the last six months establishing that adversarial relationship. It’s not convenient anymore, so it’s not real. And of course there’s no alternative option of law enforcement authorities to reach out to or any significance to the fact that Yelich is an honest (albeit stupid) cop himself and he’s right there right now. The cops are a singular entity and they’re bad, okay? Deal with it.
Oh, and apparently the Spencer compound is also currently surrounded by meth snipers who will gun down anyone leaving (but not entering, apparently) the house. That’s just a thing now, probably, maybe.
So now Sam and friends have no options left, definitely, shut up shut up shut up. The only way out now is to make a deal with Judge Duncan. While this offer will likely be detailed in the coming days, I can confidently say in advance that it’s going to contradict several established facts in the story and feasibly resolve few-to-none of the problems these characters have even if they agreed to it. (Not that they would agree to terms anyway; our heroes are far too principled to make deals with corrupt and terrible people, except for all the times they made deals with corrupt and terrible people and Marciuliano just didn’t notice or care.)
@pugfuggly:
Barajas got a Vitamix® for Christmas and put the point of view in it along with the plot.
@jroggs:
You are doing God’s work here; just sayin’.
My takeaway is that the Parker/Driver/Spencers are surrounded by bad-thing-doers, who somehow seem intent on doing bad things. Is that a useful summary?
Interestingly, of the Six Chix, the one who uses her day to literally show herself sleeping instead of coming up with a joke is only the third worst.
Mary Worth: No wonder Doctor Ed and his nephew are swamped with work, they spend all of their time whining when they could be doing their jobs.
Or are we supposed to assume that they are already finished tending to the many customers that were waiting for them earlier that evening.
DtM: This would be particularly menacing if it turned out Henry works for ICE.
Dennis the Menace – Dennis isn’t talking about his Dad’s job, per se, he’s mocking Henry for lecturing him about the cost of repairing the brick structure that Dennis damaged during one of his hijinks.
Gil Thorp – Comic syndicate legal department definitely sent a note down about this.
Hi and Lois – I hope this is a prediction of the near future, where society begins abandoning social media and its ill effects, and is in the awkward early stages of regaining the lost art of face to face interaction. Brunette lady at least looks a lot happier after declaring she’s no longer on Facebook and celebrating pictures of her family, which she had real world interactions with on a regular basis now
JUDGE PARKER: “Here’s the deal. You untie me and let me go, and I’ll use my influence to get the rest of you moved into a comic strip where the plots makes more sense, like ZIPPY THE PINHEAD.”
“My Dad is a bean-counter, by which I mean a Vampire, spilling a large bag of beans or such outside of your home causes a vampire to impulsively stop and count it all, which they’ll continue to do until the sun comes up and burns them to death.”
JP: “We’ll need a fall guy. Let’s give them the gunsel.”
”What’s a….gunsel?”
”I mean that little blonde bitch who just beat the shit out of me.”
@Uncle Lumpy: I think so, but it’s hard to tell when 98% of this story is characters making unsubstantiated claims to each other about what’s happened and happening, and the remaining 2% is random dog attacks.
Mrs. Brown you’ve got a nasty temper /
You’re as whiny as Green Steve himself /
So grow u-up /
You sad entitled bitch /
I don’t care if you’re rich /
So you can go to hell.
Writers of Luann: No one can surpass our ability to make characters in their twenties look like particularly dull pre-teens.
Writers of Dustin: Hold our beer.
Here Marvin, here’s a loose-leaf binder you can chew on.
Skateboarding without a helmet? The real menace is CTE, kids. Always wear protective gear.
GT: “It was the most successful liftathon in history, raising over two million dollars, funding Milford sports forever. Sadly, the next day Elon Musk bought it, sold most of the weights, and ran it into massive debt.”
JP: “Here’s the deal. You let me go and I’ll tell the dirty cops and the oxy thugs to leave you alone. Shake on it?”
CS: Crankshaft is going to discover that he is descended from nobody but assholes and morons.
RMMD: If you take the interstate, you’ll see nothing but the same old trees for hour after hour. So you should take the two-lane routes and spend half your time lost. That’s how my wife and I do it.
Nephew Steven’s pissy face is giving Sam Driver’s a run for its money.
GT: Love the leeway in “football and other programs.” I’m sure “other programs” includes Gil’s all-inclusive luxury vacation in Aruba, and legal fees for when one of the rotating stable of assistant coaches gets a little too chummy with the wrestling team.
H&L: Not terribly long ago, “I’m not on Facebook” would imply an old-fashioned traditionalist who refused to get sucked into whatever The Kids These Days are doing. But thanks to the life cycle of social media it now suggests a more progressive mindset, moving away from what is widely regarded as a hotbed of misleading infographics, multilevel marketing grift, and Minions memes. Walker-Browne Inc. know that if you just hold on to a joke long enough, it’s bound to be fashionable again.
H&L – Because these tactful chats are the price of civilization, they are discontent. That’s what makes this strip so hysterical!
9CL – “”Water-filled balloons! Oh, the japery we shall soon initiate, my fulsome companion! Just the sort of buffoonish behavior that two normal locals such as ourselves often engage upon, if the newsreels are to be believed. Yes, we shall fit right in here on this planet Uurrrrrrth.”
This “plot” is as well thought out as most of them are. Four “High Schoolers” in a small convertible have parked it right in front of the building and then proceeded to initiate a four-way sex romp, with the top down and in full view of a school full of children. Somehow, the school Amos and Edda have attended since the 1990s is now not mostly a playground but is inside a multi-story building downtown, where the kids are left unsupervised to hurl things out of the window at people parked right below them..Good thing Edda has two “water filled balloons” available to drop onto this sexy underaged sex romp as well!!
The lazy art makes for an interesting visual effect, in that he will draw a windowsill if he absolutely must, but it will be floating unmoored in the featureless void that is the inside of the building, and its size will vary from panel to panel.
Spiderman-If loving you is wrong I don’t wanna be right.
RMMD-“Let’s breakdown somewhere in the middle of nowhere and miss our cruise.”
MW-“We have to triage the animals. Those don’t need our immediate help we turn away.”
JP-And so three months later.
FC-If you were going to the North Pole you would be wearing less.
Pluggers: Pluggers are poor #6439.
JP: Can’t they just hand him over to the FBI, or Federal Drug Enforcement? A lot of what Elder Dunk has done is covered under the RICO Act. What about the state police? Is Cavelton some kind of independent bailiwick?
Six Chix: Bianca Xunise, sending out a desperate cry for help? Must be Tuesday again.
Gil Thorp: Only in the dying comics published in the nearly-dead printed newspaper is there a contemporary American high school sports team boasting a head coach, a couple assistant coaches, and all its community media devoted to it, claiming it needs to raise funding. The fourth panel is Gil pocketing a green wad, saying “Thanks for the ‘retirement fund,’ suckers!”
Oh, for Pete’s sake, Dennis, let me show you how it’s done: “You’re a bricklayer? That’s funny, last week we had a handyman who Mom said could really lay some pipe!”
@Rube: An aerospace engineer? Wow! Wonder if he ever got to introduce Dennis to Alan Shepard or John Glenn?
”Dad says you two are a couple of real space cadets!”
I’m not one to complain usually, I think most new writers in the comics page are an improvement, but the Tuesday Six Chix is really terrible. We had dozens of weeks after October complaining that it was not Halloween anymore and still today there is a spooky reference. The rest is whining about not being able to function like a parody of a Millennial webcomic.
GT – I’ve finally caught on to the fact that the current Gil Thorp story is a Goofus and Gallant tribute. “Gil gladly stepped out of the spotlight to encourage the players. Luke hogged the spotlight and dropped a 200-pound weight on Gil’s foot.”
Six Chix – Get a grip, Xunise. Now the entire comics-reading public knows that your TikTok password is 22HoonkSHoo22.
Don Abundio, translated:
“Oh! I wish I had a wagon like that”
“He uses it to deliver newspapers…”
“You could buy out his paper route with venture capital, make him an independent contractor, sell off the wagon for a tax loss and lease it back to yourself”
“Good idea!”
“When I’m older will I understand how business works?”
@lynn: What worries me is that Bianca Xunise is still celebrating Halloween on March 7.
Dennis’s father thought that introducing vaguely ethnic people to the gated community in a menial job position was a simple way to teach children about white people being on top. Instead, the child is learning that brown(ish) people are physically superior and not nerds! It is so difficult to have an Herrenvolk education these days!
So I guess when Ida Noe and Not Me broke up, she got the “Gasoline Alley” moppets, while he had to stay in “Family Circus.” Who got the short end of the stick?
According to the “Bible” of background information for the creators, Henry works for “a highly successf aeronautical engineering firm.” That’s as of 1990 — may have been changes since then!
@Ukulele Ike: How I hate that bit! I barely can stand Halloween being extended to the whole October, but she is so obsessed. Or she simply ran out of ideas in October
C’shaft: “Apparently I was born in a Japanese internment camp. Learn something new every day.”
JP: Wait, aren’t the dirty cops trying to kill Judge Duncan too? I can’t imagine the Parker-Spencer-Driver clan would be all that broken up if Judge Duncan was subjected to an Epstein Special.
Luann: “My entire understanding of the human condition is limited to a handful of people around me, and I have no interest in expanding that.”
MW: Maybe Dr. Ed should rethink his free-for-all method of appointment scheduling.
RMMD: I know it’s too much for to hope that they’ll wind up stranded in some remote rural area running from demons, cultists, serial killers, or demonic serial killer cultists, but a gal can dream, can’t she?
GT: “You did a great job Gil! What to do the same to finance the math programme?”
“Sorry, can’t do! If people of the community started to learn math, they would notice I am taking more money than they pledged or that not everything goes to the school fund. We cannot kill the golden goose!”
@Ukulele Ike: Xunise’s schtick, lately, is letting us know that she is a troubled person.
@Kirk W House (faithful reader Jasper Jinks): He works for SpaceX???
In today’s Gasoline Alley, we’re seeing the haunt we know best as “Ida Know” from The Family Circus, but it’s using the name it had in the old country, before the officers at Ellis Island Americanized it. “Ida Noe? Looks weird. You’re Ida Know, now. Be glad it’s not Ida Ho. Now get outta here and welcome to the U.S. of A.”
DENNIS THE MENACE – ATTENTION: The DtM Wikipedia page states Henry is a teacher at Dennis school (!? whoever knew that???!) and has a masters degree in Architecture.
On a personal note, my dad was an aerospace engineer and it did not involve meeting astronauts. We did get some cool samples of things like high-tech plastic panels and lumps of asbestos.
JP: The judge makes a deal whereby he goes free and in exchange arranges a truce between the Parkers, Yelich, Gloria, crooked cops and the various drug gangs waiting outside. Thus (Sunday one panel strip shows the judge et al smiling in front of the Parker tree subtitled Peace On Earth!) wraps up this year’s JP Christmas Special.
MW: “Steven…you can’t let some BAD APPLES dampen your love of the job. Now put down that phone and wash up–and don’t forget to wipe down the surfaces before you do. I don’t want to leave any evidence this time.”
Gil, if you’re trying to step out of the spotlight, maybe don’t wear the shirt that calls attention to your mysteriously disappeared children and also has sleeves that change colors.
@lynn: He was originally with the McDonnell Aircraft Corporation, then McDonnell Douglas, then Boeing, and then the author got tired of documenting the history of mergers in aerospace and just left him at some generic company. Which is probably for the best – his work on the 737 Max 8 led to multiple deaths and lawsuits.
DtM – Wow – you’re a brick layer. Too bad though, cuz says she could use a pipe layer….
GA – I hope Walt hasn’t just watched Telly Savalas and Talky Tina….
GT – Today’s lift-a-thon will provide steroids and meth for the rest of the season….
H&L – Oh brother – it’s such a pain in the ass unfriending some dip-shit face to face….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
@anon: That wiki sounds pretty suspect. Does anybody ever remember seeing Henry at Dennis’s school in any capacity, let alone teaching? And how many people with a Masters Degree in Architecture teach at grade schools?
Since Henry is largely based on Hank Ketcham himself, I checked what Ketcham had done before Dennis took off. It looks like, other than his time in the Navy, he was always an animator or cartoonist, so I guess that he never put much thought into what Henry is supposed to actually do at work, and that his successors have thought about it even less.
H&L: Typical! The cat fight that ensues when Lois sees Hi’s photo among the pictures is not shown. Hmmph!
MW: In the post-op ward of ANIMAL HOSPITAL, a low growl grows into a chorus of confused voices as the patients begin to awaken from their anesthesia. “Not to go on all-fours; that is the Law. Are we not men?”
Dennis the Menace: [Side-eyeing the door with a chuckle] Oh no, Dennis, bricks are just my side job. I’m really a pipe-layer. I lay pipe, make sure your Dad—and your Mom—know that! Hey Dennis, do me a favor: tell your dad for me that he can have his pork and beans. I eat more chicken than any man ever seen.
@Dennis Jimenez: Gulp – DtM should be – Wow , you’re a bricklayer. Too bad though, cuz MOM says she could use a pipe layer….
FC: “You’ve had your third birthday. Now it’s time you set out on your own. Most strangers will feed a small child if he asks. Send me a postcard when you reach Paris. Bye!“
Dennis the Menace: Whatever Henry does for a living is much less important than the question of how the hell Mr. Wilson talked that bricklayer into building a spite wall at a 45° angle to and less than ten feet from the Mitchell house.
9CL: My one sort of nice comment is that at least nu kid Edda and Amos are at least behaving like kids, the former’s weird dialogue aside. That being said, the logistics are baffling. Are Edda and Amos at school? The way most K-12 schools are designed is to keep the different age groups separated, precisely to prevent situations like this from happening. How are two couples fitting into a convertible? Even if we assume that the car in question has four seats, rather than a roadster, it’s still a tight fit, especially given how characters in Brookeworld love to thrash around while boinking. Are Edda and Amos somewhere else in Anytown, NH? If so, how did they get access to the roof? The roof issue still stands if they’re at school, since kids + roof = lawsuit waiting to happen.
Lastly, this strip illustrates how much Amos’ personality has deteriorated. Kid Amos as he was originally written would have been an eager co-conspirator in kid Edda’s schemes, rather than having to be peer pressured into participating. He seemed to get dumber when he moved to NYC, cratered when he let Edda get away with sleeping with Seth, and now has less of a backbone than an earthworm.
DtM: IDK, everyone assumes Henry is a lousy lay ’cause he’s a bean counter (or in aerospace). All I know is that he must have some powerfully demented junk to produce a hellspawn like Dennis.
@Dennis Jimenez: Ah, you beat me to it by five minutes!
Also of note: if you add strikethrough text while editing your comment, it doesn’t show up in the final product. Interesting, interesting…
MW – Is ANIMAL HOSPITAL the *only* animal hospital in Santa Royale? A city that is canonically rather large? Neff Nephewson appears to have some major anger issues, and I’m starting to think the YELP reviews are correct. “Get that !@#$ mutt outta here, and take it all the way to Springfield for all I care” does seem like something he’d say.
@Rube: There are two main possibilities I can imagine.
One is that the Wikipedia editor who said Henry was a teacher at Dennis’s school was just making stuff up.
The other is that there was a single storyline in a Dennis the Menace comic book in which Henry was a teacher at Dennis’s school, and the Wikipedia editor decided to establish that as enforced continuity, even though the editors of the comic book (much less the comic strip) might have forgotten about it shortly after it was sent to the printer.
From him “#1 ORD” shirt, we can tell that Gil Throp really likes flying through O’Hare Airport.
@59 lynn: Lumps of asbestos? Better keep those under lock and key lest someone from Westview, Ohio, purloin them. Or they become the new “secret ingredient” in Mary Worth’s next “culinary” creation.
Nearly—gulp—fifty years ago, my best friend was obsessed with Charles Lindberg, among other things. His father, an American history prof, scored him an authentic aviator cap, complete with goggles. Even for 1976 or 1977, it was a rare find. I offer this for those of you who would like to identify precisely how out-of-date Gasoline Alley is.
@Voshkod: As who does not, my friend?
Gil Thorp: Whoo, look at me! I’m Clark Kent! Er, sorry about that super-sized hernia, kid…
@pastordan: “Also of note: if you add strikethrough text while editing your comment, it doesn’t show up in the final product. Interesting, interesting…”
The editor is buggy. I’ve had the same problem but then it went away. On the other hand, when I press “reply”, it’s about even odds if the “@” reference/backlink appears or not. If it doesn’t, I have to type some text and then press “reply” again.
And sometimes the “Edit” button just refuses to let me edit. I’ll have to delete the post and re-post.
@Joshua K.: The comic book possibility may be it. I haven’t read one in at least 50 years, but I remember there was a lot of random crap in them. In one story that somehow stuck in my mind, Mr Wilson was reminiscing about his days in the Cavalry, chasing Pancho Villa in Mexico. I doubt if anybody has built that into the current continuity.
@gardenornament: Huh, I have the same problem with the backlinks. Are you snarking on a Mac, by any chance?
@Edda’s Piano Bench Has Seen Things: 9CL – “how did they get access to the roof?“
They aren’t on the roof. It’s a side effect of the choice to use empty voids as backgrounds. He’s too lazy to draw the walls of the school unless he absolutely has to, so when they are looking out of the window all you see is the bottom of the window sill, and it looks like they are on a roof leaning against a wall, not inside the building.
How convenient that these Highschoolers chose a convertible with it’s top down for their sexcapades in front of the school building, otherwise this whole sequence would make no sense, and nobody could see them or drop water-filled balloons on them!
Phantom: Diana forgets that that part of the prophesy takes part after she has left Kit and gone back to the US to remarry and live out her life as a boring housewife. She really has no business being jealous.
Of course, the writer probably has forgotten that as well, and who can blame him? The plot is so convoluted by now that even he must have difficulty telling prophesy from reality from outright lies by Mozz.
@pastordan: “Huh, I have the same problem with the backlinks. Are you snarking on a Mac, by any chance?”
Nope, Windows or iPad, it’s the same bug. It bit me right now, by the way – I had to go back and press Reply again to get the “@pastordan” backlink.
@lynn: “ On a personal note, my dad was an aerospace engineer and it did not involve meeting astronauts. We did get some cool samples of things like high-tech plastic panels and lumps of asbestos.”
My dad was also an aerospace engineer, but most to the swag he brought home was in the form of dummy AP ammo for the A-10 and a cool model of a B-2 bomber. My uncle worked at Bell Labs, though , and we did get a demonstration of “what happens when you dip stuff into liquid nitrogen” and other important scientific experiments.
gardenornament: Yeah, me too, on every device. Thanks for the tip about start to type and then hitting “reply” again.
@pastordan: And yet I managed to fuck it up. So my salute to you as first to snarking it sensibly….
@gardenornament: Holy crap! Hitting reply again actually works! This changes…well, not a lot in the grand scheme of things, actually.
Adding: Ah, I see the problem here. It’s a WordPress plugin system. That explains everything.
DtM: So Henry Mitchell is an aerospace engineer? So’s Jules Rivera. Maybe they can get together and start their own company designing drones for the military.
GT: Luke’s best retort to Gil would be, “Of course I helped you out raising money. If the Milford sports program went belly up my boys wouldn’t have any chumps to whup up on.”
@pastordan: #92
And the crowd goes mild!
Dennis the Menace: I’m guessing this guy isn’t a professional bricklayer either, given the excess mortar and uneven brick placement. Dad’s a “beancounter” in that he hired an cheap handyman to do the job, because a licensed artisan would have refused to build a wall right where Dennis is sure to crash his skateboard several times a week.
Gil Thorp: The cash being exchanged isn’t part of the “liift-a-thon.” It’s for the wagering over which athletes will be sidelined with rotator-cuff injuries.
Hi and Lois: These ladies are so old, they think a Facebook Friend Request is something you deliver in person. (Wait, no they’re not really that old! Have they been time-traveling? Ida Noe!)
Pluggers: You’re a plugger if you run out of cash by the end of the month. And also if your hygiene is so poor, there are insects living in your pockets.
Mary Worth: The Mary Worth comic strip still doesn’t get how Yelp works. Zero stars!
@83 gardenornament: On your reply issue, click into where you’ll type your comment then click the reply button. You’ll get the “@” link almost 100% of the time.
@85 pastordan: See above. I’ve had success with the suggestion above on all platforms.
@Kirk W House (faithful reader Jasper Jinks): Scott Ketcham, son of Hank Ketcham, current writer of Dennis the Menace, channeling Dr. Praetorius: “Yesssssss…there have been improvements….since he came to me.”
@Uncle Lumpy: I…what?
@BigTed: “Mary Worth: The Mary Worth comic strip still doesn’t get how Yelp works. Zero stars!”
Sometimes I look at old comic strips on places like Facebook, and think that I’m picking up valuable, or at least interesting, information about how the world used to work: Like, you could take some food into a diner, and the cook would fry it for you.
Then, I think, suppose those old cartoonists actually knew as much about how their world worked as cartoonists today seem to know about ordinary things like Yelp, Uber and Amazon?
@jroggs:
They are making us beg for random dog attacks!
Vintage Nancy – Nancy’s right. Her cat is probably willing to eat that psychiatrist.
@Ettorre: I dunno, can the Math Club life weights?
JP: “That’s right, tied-up man who knows what it’s like to get beat up. Shall we make a deal the easy way, or should I get a crowbar out of the garage?”
@Rube: At least Mary Worth used the actual company name. Most strips would skirt these issues (and legal troubles) by calling them something like “Whelp,” “UDrive” and “RiverDeliver.”
FC – “I can’t help but wonder why you’re sending me out in to the snow after we just finished watching The Revenant.”
@Rube: This morning, Mrs. Bicycle and I discussed whether Moy was using this storyline to comment on critics like us. But no, we finally decided that was too meta. Someone had just shown her Yelp.
Dennis the Menace: Either Henry is going to murder the nice handyman in a jealous rage out of fear he’ll steal Alice and Dennis seeks to provoke it, or Henry has some homoerotic urges he’s long suppressed that are now bubbling to the surface and Dennis intends to bait Henry into adultery. Either way, very menacing.
Gasoline Alley: I’ve mentioned that one of the quirks of Gasoline Alley’s art style that I’ll never get used to is how the characters waver between cartoonishly stylized or extremely realistic and portrait-like. I bring this up because these last few days, Ms. Gertie has been demonstrating BOTH styles by being both cartoony or realistic, switching back and forth from panel to panel. It’s disturbing once you notice it. Almost as disturbing as the talking doll that paraphrases Sonic the Hedgehog catchphrases in nonsensical contexts.
Gil Thorp: “Gil gladly stepped out of the spotlight”. I highly doubt that. Anyways, I’m glad this strip has decided to dispense with the pretenses and show what the jobs of Gil and his fellow couches really entails — exploiting teenagers for money by making them perform in front of parents that range from innocently clueless of the stress their children are under to washed-up freaks living vicariously through their offspring.
Hi And Lois: CATFIGHT INCOMING
CS: Better line: That’s why I used my brother’s name.
DtM: @BigTed: …excess mortar and uneven brick placement…”
Oh yeah? Well, let’s see YOU do quality masonry when you’re missing a finger and thumb!
DENNIS THE MENACE: As per usual, the strip totally ruins the joke. The line should go, “Wow you’re a bricklayer? My dad is a bean counter, but the neighborhood says he’s really good at laying pipe if you need some help.”
DENNIS THE MENACE (2): Actually Mr Bricklayer should probably take a break from his job to see about his blotchy skin condition. Boy, struggles an artist goes through when they only use “ethnic” characters every other year…..
@pastordan: “Huh, I have the same problem with the backlinks…”
I have the same problem with the beatniks.
Get a bath and a shave, you damn dirty commies! And write poems that rhyme!
JP – “Here’s the bad news, judge. We’re going to have you offed by a professional assassin. The good news is she’s going to do it in her underwear.”
@lynn: @Calvin’s Cardboard Box: Well, what’s the point of being an aerospace engineer if you don’t even get to meet astronauts?
@Ukulele Ike: “what’s the point of being an aerospace engineer if you don’t even get to meet astronauts?”
Some crew members are assigned to the Lower Decks, and never even get to use those sparkly transporters, or have to cling dramatically to the scenery when the ship is under attack. Good thing, too, as most of the scenery has big chunks chewed out of it after Shatner’s dialogue….
@cheech wizard: ““Here’s the bad news, judge. We’re going to have you offed by a professional assassin. The good news is she’s going to do it in her underwear.””
IN her underwear, or WITH her underwear? Asking for a friend…
MW: I don’t understand nephew vet’s rage. I could understand finding it difficult for a new veterinarian to deal with the emotions associated with euthanizing beloved pets and dealing with the sadness of owners. But that should be just a matter of Uncle Vet talking Nephew Vet of the ledge and maybe going for a beer or ten. I’m glad I cut the Worthverse out of my diet. One idea might be to start gently by euthanizing Wilbur.
DtM – “Are you building a shithouse, by any chance? Because I always wondered what that looked like.”
Ida Noe had best focus her time travel powers on Gasoline Alley‘s future. Reminding readers about the funny, interesting strip from the early 20th century would be a huge mistake!
@But What Do I Know?: They are all about weights and measurments!
@BigTed: On the other hand, they ply their trade in a business they call ANIMAL HOSPITAL when, if they were using real names, they could be calling it Slaughterhouse Five.
GA – “Ida Noe is my name and time travel is my game! Come on! Let’s all go back to when Walt could stay awake for a visit! Like, when he was 92? Or if you want some excitement, we can go back to his WWI service in the trenches! That can’t be any more terrifying than our faces, can it?”
MW – How do we know that Libby or more likely Pierre didn’t write that review under a fake name? Every time Dr. Ed Harding shows up at Estelle’s condo the pets have traumatic flashbacks of trips to the vet. They know that it’ll take more than peeing on his chair to get rid of him.
Rex Morgan – Road trip. Hooray. From the strip that made a plane crash boring.
GA – Dolly Keane: “Where did you kids get those clothes? 1930?”
6Chix – I think I understand this – she’s sleeping and snoring while she draws? What’s the teardrop under her eye? Is she crying, or is it a tattoo showing that she killed someone? She’s sure doing her best to kill humor and competent artwork.
Perry Bible Fellowship – Not safe for Baja Gaijin.
Gasoline Alley-“Are you sure?” Ida Now.
MW: Okay, this is bugging me…even a small town like, say, Craig, CO (pop. ~9,000) has *two* veterinary clinics. Are we to understand that Santa Royale, CA, with a theoretical population of…I don’t know…at least tens of thousands and possibly approaching 100,000 if not more, (a town large enough to have a huge warehouse where drug wars break out from time to time plus a COMMUNITY College), only has one such clinic? And this fictional “Springfield” where the overwhelmed Dr Ed and nephew were forced to refer walk-in patients – what kind of town is that? The real-life Springfield, CA is in an unincorporated area (described as “a populated place” in california.hometownlocator.com) – a former gold rush locale and historic landmark, and I don’t actually think *that’s* where desperate pet owners go when their one and only Santa Royale clinic is unable to accommodate them. Bottom line, Moy’s narrative stretches credulity to the breaking point, as usual.
9CL – Seriously: if someone calls the police, or if a cop happens by while the teenagers in the car are boinking in public in front of a school, they could find themselves on a sex offenders list. I’m sure that Brooke realized that when he thought this garbage through before he wrote it.
MW – Dr. Ed and his nephew have an animal hospital and not a veterinary clinic? Wouldn’t a hospital be staffed 24 hours a day? If animals were kept overnight, I’m sure that everyone wouldn’t go home and leave sick animals there alone. This business model makes no sense.
@Charterstoned: They didn’t have a big enough sign to read: “Harding and Nephew Animal Hospital: Lifesaving Pet Care, Except When We’re Too Busy.”
GIL THORP: Three days from now….
Miford Athlete: “Ow, my arm! Coach, I think I might have torn a liga….”
Gil: “NO. ONE. GOT. HURT!”
@Ukulele Ike: I don’t know.
Seeing that engineers have to design a spaceship that not only works but comes in under budget as constructed by the lowest responsible bidders (except for SpaceX), I think that meeting between engineer and astronaut could be a little testy.
@Daisy: Cartoonists often have trouble depicting regular jobs, because they have no idea what regular jobs entail. Jimmy Johnson once cheerfully admitted to me that that is why he never depicts Arlo and Janis at work anymore — after 35 years away from an office job, he didn’t know how to write one. This is one of the reasons Beetle Bailey is so strange these days: the writers, aware that they don’t know what the modern American Army is like, write Camp Swampy like it’s an ordinary workplace, except they don’t know what that’s like, either.
That’s why I will give today’s Six Chix credit: Xunise is writing what she knows — being a lazy comic strip artist.
@Rube: “Cartoonists often have trouble depicting regular jobs, because they have no idea what regular jobs entail.”
And, yet, somehow Mike Judge was able to write a spot-on parody of what it is like to work for a medium sized technology company after spending only a few weeks in an actual office.
“I come in about 15 minutes late, use the side door so Lumburg doesn’t see me. Then I just sit there and space out at my desk for an hour or so ….my only real motivation is not to screw up, so that I don’t have six different bosses coming by to tell me about it”
CS: Wait — so “Ed Crankshaft” isn’t a fake name?
@Dr. Larry Erhardt: His real name is Funky Winkerbean. Wheels within wheels, man.
DtM – “Are you here to make a movie? Like the ones my dad watches when he thinks everyone’s asleep?”
@Dr. Larry Erhardt: Sometimes your porn name becomes your real name. It’s a gradual process.
Crank: Days since I’ve non-ironically laughed at Crankshaft: 0
JP: Wait, why is someone bound to shoot them if they go outside? They’ve been outside loads of times over the course of this story, and the only people who were shooting at them
were deliberately trying not to hit themdidn’t even know they were there. Gloria came from outside just moments ago! Also, I’m no expert on American law enforcement, but I feel like a homicidal, drug-dealing judge might be of interest to the authorities outside the town?MW: Now I’m wondering if Mrs Brown is swearing on Yelp (can you swear on Yelp? I’ve never used it) or if those grawlixes are actually what she wrote? And if so, how is Steven pronouncing them?
Phantom: You know, I’m pretty sure if I were Diana, I’d be more focused on “according to the prophecy, my son is going to be killed and my marriage destroyed” rather than “and then Kit shacks up with Sarvana and they have a kid”. But maybe she’s gearing herself up to shoot Sarvana if nobody else is going to take the obvious solution.
S4th: This continues to be Ces’s better strip about a family talking over an elderly person who nobody likes, but who is inexplicably in their house.
@Horace Broon: “S4th: This continues to be Ces’s better strip about a family talking over an elderly person who nobody likes, but who is inexplicably in their house.”
You have to admit, though, it would be funny if Hil beat the tar out of Grandma, then Jackie burst in and took over.
@astroboy: #76
I didn’t see your comment before I posted mine (my apologies!), but I had the same thought. I’ve pretty much given up trying to make real-life sense out of “Mary Worth.” I’m much happier that way. :-)
Archie: Nice disguise, Archie, but wouldn’t it have been useless even if it had worked? You may have sneaked past the principal, but your teacher can’t help noticing that you’re late for class.
@Rube:
DtM: “@anon: That wiki sounds pretty suspect. Does anybody ever remember seeing Henry at Dennis’s school in any capacity, let alone teaching? And how many people with a Masters Degree in Architecture teach at grade schools?”
Does Wikipedia cite any source for that?
Anyway, I’ve read a few (not many) strips where Henry is at work, and it was in a generic office and definitely not a school.
Luann: Luann blaming her family for not being a good writer is just pathetic. Is there nothing else she can write about? What about a fictionalized version of her family?
She’d have more luck blaming her – seemingly inept – teacher, but it’s pretty obvious that Luann just doesn’t have the mental capacity for writing. Or doing most anything, actually.
CS: Today’s strip was unironically funny. You can say what you like about Batiuk (and we do), but his original concept for Crankshaft actually works (at least sometimes). Too bad he seems intent on turning the strip into Funky Winkerbean Redux.
9CL: For once, young Edda is behaving like a real child her age. An evil child, but still. Amos seems just as clueless as usual, though.
9CL: Just how many teeth does Edda have? I’m leaning towards her being an eldritch abomination and not a human child at all. Just wait until she reveals her tentacles.
@TheDiva: #53: re-RMMD: You forgot to add inbred hillbillies into the mix.
Love is…: At least he wears clothes when going on a trip. Good for the people sitting in his airplane seat on the next flights! Why she is wearing clothes at home is a mystery, though. Perhaps they, as habitual nudists, have a fetish for non-nudity and want to make their reunion as sexy as possible?
Shoe: I can see why the punchline is supposed to be funny, but it just doesn’t work. Don’t they have beds in prison?
Luann: Isn’t there conflict between vapid and braindead Luann’s desires and dreams and her supernaturally boring and conventional family? I thought there was a number of Victorian novels built around that conflict. Mind you Luann likely isn’t capable of hopes and dreams.
Blondie: Dagwood obviously bought the balloon animal to thank the clown for making an extremely lame pun but why is he wearing it on his head? To set up his coworkers for a repeat of the “funny” “joke”? Mr Dithers is not amused, though. I’ve never cheered for the old slavedriver as I am now. Please, please, put an end to this miserable excuse of a joke and make sure Dagwood doesn’t subject any more innocent bystanders to it.
@Professor Well Actually: “Luann: Isn’t there conflict between vapid and braindead Luann’s desires and dreams and her supernaturally boring and conventional family?”
Of course there is! In fact, it’s the conflict driving today’s strip, nothing less. It’s just that Luann is too dim to realize it.
@140 gardenornament: Luann should be glad she lives in drought-ridden sunny southern California: she’d drown looking up at the water dropping from the sky when it rains.
// Yes, I’m implying Luann’s stupider than an inbred factory farm raised turkey.
RMMD: Will we accompany the honeymooners on their road trip as well as the country music cruise? Why not give them a little privacy.
Isn’t this Kelly and Nikki’s senior high school year? Only three months til graduation! And isn’t it time for Jordan and Michelle to start a family? Have Buck and Mindy stopped carrying their little daughter around and let her learn to walk?
So many other “interesting” stories to follow rather than a trip down I-95. Or even worse, the family dynamics of the Morgans.
REX MORGAN M.D: “OR we could live a lot, and skip the boring detours to see the world’s largest cheese-wheel or whatever.” (Seriously, why are these dullards even GOING on a cruise when they think a kitschy 50’s-themed diner off of route 12 is the height of “exotic locals”?
@2+2=7: Terry Beatty: “You know, in some ways I’ve lived a pretty dull life, sitting at my drawing board 12-14 hours a day to support my family. But now, I write my own comic strip, I can have my characters live the way I’ve always wanted to live, they can….zzzzz.”
Blondie-“So how much did he charge for blowing you like a balloon?”
@Arabella: So many other “interesting” stories to follow rather than a trip down I-95.
I dunno; at the pace this strip and that road moves, he could waste a whole year just getting the characters from DC to Fredricksburg on I-95.
Gil Thorp-“Here is your bribe.” “And here is your change.”
DTM: I thought you were the gardener. Mom said she needed her bush trimmed.
BB: Somewhat unusually for this comic, today’s strip offers some relevant commentary on the bleak state of government finances: there is no money for fresh food for the soldiers, so Cookie is expected to fish for the entire batallion. And the Army can’t even supply him with proper equipment for that kind of fishing – a simple rod and reel will have to suffice.
Hi & Lois–“Oh, Irma, I don’t know about right now. But have you considered Instagram? You can upload all your family pictures there, and I’m sure I’ll check it out. Now if you’ll excuse me, I gotta run. I need to be doing anything else.”
Bizarro: A thinly disguised interior from the office where Judge Parker is written.
@astroboy: #76
I didn’t see your comment before I posted mine (my apologies!), but I had the same thought. I’ve pretty much given up trying to make real-life sense out of “Mary Worth.” I’m much happier that way. :-)
No worries LOL, great minds and all that. Do you actually live in Craig? If so I’m a fellow Coloradan (Fort Collins.)
DTM: Hey mister! Are you one ‘a them illegal aliens that Dad hates?
@pastordan: “Ah, I see the problem here. It’s a WordPress plugin system. That explains everything.”
Indeed it does. As full of bugs as a tropical swamp…
@Baja Gaijin: “I’m implying Luann’s stupider than an inbred factory farm raised turkey.”
Inbred turkeys all over the world resent that remark.
@Baja Gaijin: “Luann should be glad she lives in drought-ridden sunny southern California: she’d drown looking up at the water dropping from the sky when it rains.”
Mom n’ Pop deGroot keep her on a leash during family walks so she doesn’t wander off into the wildfires.
DtM – “Ok, Joey’s got the camera, Gina’s got the sound and Margaret’s doing the lights. When I say ‘action!’ my dad leaves for work, then you saunter into the kitchen and ask my mom if there’s anything else that needs to be laid around here. Got it?”
@Uncle Lumpy: Here’s Henry at his office with a PC.
Wow, trenchant social commentary, verging on downright satire, way back in 2015. Good job, KetchamCo!
@Hibbleton: #16:
“the bricklayer’s wife, a toothless barmaid”
I dunno. Bricklayers and stonemasons are highly-paid skilled tradesmen, whose earnings are up there with plumbers, carpenters and electricians. Many of them make way more than a lot of white collar office drones. They should have little trouble attracting a decent spouse.
Since we’re on the subject of what Henry does for a living, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen the 50s TV show with Jay North as Dennis. Does anybody remember if they ever specified what Henry did?
DtM: One thing for sure, Alice’s brick is gonna get laid, if dad just turns his back for a few minutes. And by brick I mean her pussy, using advanced symbolism there. Amirite.
@Baja Gaijin: @Ukulele Ike: Re: Luann – “she’d drown looking up at the water dropping from the sky when it rains”
This explains why her whole family panicked when it rained during Luann’s camping trip, and demanded that Pa Groo drive out and rescue her.
@Guillermo el chiclero: They should have little trouble attracting a decent spouse.
Or an indecent spouse who is perhaps toothless and works at a bar but knows how to keep a man happy in return for a better standard of living. Amirite.
Luann: wasn’t Pride and Prejudice all about the conflict between Elizabeth? and her very conventional family?;Why doesn’t this great teacher talk about that with Queen Luann the Vapid?
@169 Calvin’s Cardboard Box: You got it! I hoped someone’d notice that oblique callback.
Luann: the only would be writer who has never read a book.
DtM: The bricklayer has actual hairy arms, something I don’t remember ever seeing before in a DtM panel, not even the occasional panels about the possibly-a-relative farming dude in a cowboy hat. No wonder Henry is peeking around the door. Alice is probably bending out of an upstairs window.
Shoe: Is this the Man Bird of Alcatraz?
@Guillermo el chiclero: Henry works downtown in the same building as Hi Flagston, Dagwood Bumstead, Leroy Lockhorn, Ted Forth, and Calvin’s Dad.
LUANN: @gardenornament: You are right. I’ve read a couple of stories over the years about turkeys that were rescued from factory farms and taken to animal sanctuaries, and those turkeys had actual personalities and were fun to read about. They’d probably be better writers than Luann as well. She seems to set the bar pretty low.
@astroboy: #160
No – hubs and I wish we lived in Colorado; in real life we live in a generic suburb ~30 miles west of Chicago. However, we try to vacation out West whenever we can, and Colorado is one of our top destinations. We stayed in Craig a few years back. Lovely town! You’re fortunate to live in such a beautiful state!
Luann: Why can’t elderly writing teacher get Luann the Vapid read a Jane Austin novel. The Evansii are stupider than Luann.
@gardenornament: I suppose Luann could write about how her family indirectly includes one of the most obnoxious children on the face of the planet, and that under her family’s influence, the obnoxiousness is, if anything, increasing. That’s kinda sad.
@Ukulele Ike: Calvin’s dad is canonically a patent lawyer, if I recall correctly. Ted Forth is a strategic sourcing specialist. Dagwood Bumstead is an office manager, Leroy Lockhorn is a professional asshole, and Hi Flagston is a highly trained assassin embedded in a dead-end job as he plans his ultimate kill. Taken together, I assume they’re in a law firm that specializes in patents, logistics, assholery (but I repeat myself), and assassinations.
Hmmm. Looks like an overzealous spam bot ate my last post.
@Ukulele Ike: “Henry works downtown in the same building as Hi Flagston, Dagwood Bumstead, Leroy Lockhorn, Ted Forth, and Calvin’s Dad.”
My (Calvin’s) dad works in a box factory! Mom brought me home from the hospital in one of dad’s boxes! This was a breach of protocol, as they are only supposed to make boxes that you store other boxes in… :(
Luann; maybe she could write a story about how her father is a knight errant from the age of chivalry. Oh but she would have to r3ad.
Luann: I apologize for going on so long but the concept of someone who has never read a good book wanting to be a writer pisses me off.
@Ukulele Ike: Calvin’s dad had a specific job: patent attorney. Granted, that came up maybe twice in 10 years.
@Professor Well Actually: Given that the first piece of advice to aspiring writers is read read read then write, I agree.
@Voshkod: Yeah and it gave me indigestion.
@Calvin’s Cardboard Box: …and Ward Cleaver
I have the same problem with Loathsome Lilian. She has consistently been portrayed as stupid with no grasp of wordplay now she’s a published author.
DtM: Well, Henry obviously cares what the help thinks. Maybe that’s because he sees the question of “is your mom unsatisfied?” forming in the mason’s head.
GA: HI I’M IDA NOE YOU MAY REMEMBER ME FROM PREVIOUS INANE PLOT TANGENTS SUCH AS…
GT: “And then, for some reason, everybody got together to pose for an awkward cast photo.”
@Majicou: But Watterson did it deliberately, because it was his own father’s job.
@Uncle Lumpy:
Here’s Henry at his office with a PC.
___________________________
Henry at his office with a problem child — weirdest game of CLUE™, ever!
Luann: You all make good points about the idiocy of having Luann try to write a book, but for my money, the most nauseating aspect of the storyline is my belief that the Evanses think that the reason Luanne can’t find anything to write about is because her family is so perfect.
Hi &Lois: I’ve noticed that Hi, especially, has a new expression of numb despair as his reaction to the setup or punchline. Now Lois is so beaten down. I get it, doing the same crappy jokes over and over for decades has got to be soul-crushing, but it’s what you fuckers get paid for, so let’s have some goddamned upbeat expressions, ok? It’s the funnies, for crissake!
Luann: one more thing. I believe you want to become a writer when you learn to appreciate the beauty and power of good writing. Luann barely knows how to read. I’ll stop now.
9CL: If they’re like the rest of the couples in this strip do you think suddenly being doused with water is going to break their stride?
C-Shaft: If he’d used his real name they’d have just assumed he was using a fake name anyway.
DT: Thus far I haven’t found much to make fun of in this crossover event, but Archie Goodwin seems to be falling behind in the ill-advised wisecrack department. I hope he’ll soon say something that at least makes Dick Tracy threaten to lock him up.
Luann: Don’t give up, Luann, even if that is kind of your thing. Eventually your brother managed to get laid, then married. Believe me, that came as a shock to everyone.
MW: I’m starting to suspect Steven is feeling slighted because he only got a mention as “staff.” If you’re gonna cuss him out do it by name, damnit.
RMMD: It’ll be kind of a vacation for Rex too since that’s a few weeks where the only Beatty will show him doing is picking up the occasional postcard.
SFx: The irony is that one of the paintings the cat is shown destroying is actually a Kopy Kat forgery.
@Voshkod, @Overzealous Spam Bot:
Not in the moderation queue. spam pit, or trash bin; a mystery for the ages.
@Professor Well Actually: I understand your frustration, but it’s how this strip seems to work. The Evanses seem to genuinely dislike the concept of working hard to get what you want. Despite being a dullard, Luann has at various times been shown as naturally excellent in stage design, art, science and writing. Frank runs a successful business that he never works at at all. On the other hand, when Tiffany was shown working hard for tips, it seemed like she was being ridiculed.
@Gladly, the cross-eyed bear: #194
Re H&L: I feel the same way about those facial expressions…as soon as I see that heavy-lidded look of ennui or disappointment or sarcasm or whatever, I honestly respond in kind, without even thinking. It’s just what I need to drag my spirits downward. Thanks, Flagstons & friends. Thanks. :-p
@Guillermo el chiclero:
Maybe she got hit with one of his bricks, or plays hockey.
@Gladly, the cross-eyed bear:
On Luann : Once again, Luann’s family DOES have a conflict : they’re disappointed in her, regret ever having her, and wish Bernice was their daughter instead.
On Hi & Lois : the explanation is that Hi & Lois is an ANTI-JOY comic. Any expression of non-soul-crushing-sorrow, such as merely smiling while delivering the laugh line, is an indicator that you’re an evil villain that needs to be destroyed at all costs. That’s why it’s a rando talking to Lois rather than any established character.
@Professor Well Actually: Loathsome Lillian doesn’t understand word play, yet those best selling books she writes spring fully formed from her mind. She just sits down at her computer and starts typing, and before you know it she has a published book. There are no plot outlines, no multiple drafts or editing. This is a big pet peeve of mine, and not just because Loathsome Lillian is number one on my list of most hated characters. I hated it when Alan Parker dashed off a new best seller over a weekend, too.
@Rube: LUANN – “when Tiffany was shown working hard for tips, it seemed like she was being ridiculed”
This has been one of the strip’s most consistent tropes, that people who are hustling to get by are to be looked down upon. You’re noble if you have an Informed Attribute and everything is natural for you – such as Gunther the IT Whiz, Luann the Set Designer, or Bernice the Therapist – these are Callings, not mere side hustles.
Forcing yourself to be nice so you can hope for a better tip falls on the evil side, unfortunately. Tiffany, unexpectedly, is a prime target. And, of course Evil Anne Eiffel (Hiss!!! Boo!!!!)
The exception, of course, is TJ, but TJ is independently wealthy and only hustles as a calling, to help out his bud and/or punish evil small business owners and run them out of town. So it’s noble when he does it.
MW: I think this storyline is the prequel to how Steven Harding turned into Dr. Caldera, the criminal vet from Better Call Saul.
@Artist formerly known as Ben: Archie here is but a pale reflection of the real Goodwin.
Not only are no wisecracks forthcoming, but he has meekly traveled to Neo-Chicago, hat literally in hand, to seek the assistance of a god damn COP in tracking a missing person, a procedure that is totally included in the bag of tricks of any crackerjack private investigator.
I hope he just came to Tracy to get his job done for him, for free.
@Ukulele Ike: Next adventure, Sam Spade trains out from Frisco to meet with Tracy.
”When a man’s partner is killed, he’s supposed to do something about it! Or, of course, he can go to the police and ask THEM to do something about it. Politely.”
@Uncle Lumpy: My comment was so inane the Internet itself tried to stop it, and yet failed. I am like unto an inane god.
@Ukulele Ike: Yeah, seriously. Wolfe would sometimes concede that cops were useful for jobs that required a lot of manpower. Archie was pretty much in the ACAB camp.
WHAT IS HE BUILDING? That’s going to haunt me.
This so-called bricklayer is piling up a square of bricks directly on the grass with no foundation, at a weird angle, inches from the Mitchells’ front path and a couple of feet from their house. It’s not a wall. It can’t be a shed. Surely it’s not a barbecue.
This is what happens when a cartoonist decides he needs to show the workman, his work, the house, the garden, Dennis, and Dennis’ father (peeking slyly from the door for no particular reason), and has to fit them all into one panel, but isn’t willing to think more than ten seconds about how to put them together.
(PS — The Wikipedia article about the TV series describes Mr Wilson as a retired salesman, but doesn’t list any particular work for Dennis’ father. My guess is that he did one of those vague ’50s sitcom “jobs in the city”.)
@Rube: I was gonna mention that.
When Wolfe was unenthusiastic about taking a case, he would point out to the prospective client that the NYPD had a virtual army on the streets, and it would be best to let them take care of the situation, since his only resources were Archie, Saul, Fred, and Orrie.
@Robbie: In the TV series, Henry Mitchell worked at Trask Engineering.
@Uncle Lumpy: Oh that. I pooped it in the river. You probably won’t want to look for it now.
@Uncle Lumpy: 197 spec*alist?
@Shrug: I got the reference — too funny, but the youngin’s probably didn’t get it.
@Robbie: 209. Think of The Cask of Amontillado. For Amontillado, substitute, oh I don’t know, maybe a real Cowboy Bob six-shooter.
9CL is apparently about child-aged Edda and Amos now with occasional flash-forwards into their future, especially when some gross gay guy or desperate hussy needs to be shamed and ridiculed by a bunch of straight married people.
Anyway, this strip revisits Edda’s original dastardly prankster personality instead of her just being some good lookin’ s*e*x-haver with long legs and a piano she humps in public and that’s nice. I just wish Amos had a whole different face-and-hair situation going on. That’s really… that’s unfortunate, what he’s got. He’s got an unfortunate face and hair. That, combined with his unfortunate personality, were very good reasons for Mary to continually reject him and his obsessive stalking.
@Professor Well Actually: Be careful what you wish for. I could see Luann being advised by Retired Teacher to read PRIDE AND PREJUDICE, Luann deciding it would be easier to watch a film version, Luann swooning over the costumes and dancing and Darcy and deciding she herself is the living embodiment of Elizabeth, Luann deciding to do Austen cosplay (I think that’s what it’s called, right?) and getting Bernice and the others to join in, and all of this causing extended mass retching here on CC. But now that I’ve written it down, surely it can’t come true.
@Poteet: Tiffany, Luann and Bernice.
tinyurl.com/2h33mjxy