Stay Thirsty, friends
Hi and Lois, 3/13/23
You know, I’ve often wondered how lovable disheveled loser Thirsty manages to hold down his job at Foofram Industries, but today we learn that by sheer force of not giving a shit he’s not only gainfully employed but has an office with a door and little desk sign that cheerfully proclaims his drinking problem to anyone who wanders in. Mr. Foofram is completely powerless against Thirsty’s utter lack of shame, and frankly a lot of us could take some pointers from him.
Dennis the Menace, 3/13/23
You know, “menacing” is communal process: it requires one party to behave in a potentially menacing fashion and another party to perceive those actions as menacing. So Dennis can trot this stuff out all he wants but if everyone is just going to titter indulgently, it’s not menacing. He’s clearly hoping for a theological escalation that he simply isn’t going to get at this drippy liberal Episcopalian parish his parents drag him to every week.
Gil Thorp, 3/13/23
Every team needs two kinds of assistant coaches: one who yells specific things you need to do, and another one that just yells general compliments. And thanks to their big fundraiser, the Mudlarks can now afford both, who hold down coaching duties on the sideline while Gil goes and takes a 25-minute “smoke break”.
Slylock Fox, 3/13/23
I love that, instead of drawing anything relevant to the logic puzzle he’s giving his class, Sly has just drawn an elaborately lifelike portrait of Count Weirdly on the whiteboard. “Blah blah fingerprints blah blah LOOK AT THIS FACE,” he says. “THIS FACE IS ALWAYS GUITLY. ONCE YOU SEE THE FACE JUST WORK YOUR WAY BACKWARDS TO SOMETHING VAGUELY PLAUSIBLE THEN LOCK HIM UP.”
Mary Worth, 3/13/23
“Your furry friends … [Mary pauses, then has a panicked thought that Wilbur and Dawn might have fursonas she doesn’t know about] … Pierre and Libby?”
218 replies to “Stay Thirsty, friends”
MW: “So lettuce not speak falsely now/The hour is getting late.”
Judge Parker: He did it, he really did. Ces “yadda yadda yadda’d” over all the good parts. On the other hand, Manley schooled Jules on what “foreground fauna” really is.
Rex Morgan: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Did the Good Fairy visit last night and turn Sarah into a normal-looking kid?
Slylock Fox: Throwing canned goods at Rachel Rabbit seems to be Reeky Rat’s MO, not the Count’s. Zapping her canned goods with a laser seems more believable as a Weirdly crime.
Mary Worth Mashups: Do any of the mashups make the strip more enjoyable?
Mary Worth: The guy has to work overtime once, and you’re ready to dump him? Maybe Estelle deserves Wilbur.
Now we’re obligated to decide on a species for Wilbur and Dawn’s fursonas.
The next lesson in room 221b… recreational cocaine use between cases to keep the mind occupied. A seven-percent solution people, write that down. My assistant Max will be handing ou– okay, I see our dog friend in the front row has gotten ahead of the assignment.
“Hold on a minute, Estelle! — do I hear Dr. Ed singing and playing the piano in the distance?”
“It’s only a salad/In old Salad Town….”
Nice touch, putting Slylock’s class in room 221b. (Shouldn’t that be 221B, though?) But Slylock’s no Sherlock. Sherlock would draw conclusions from the brand of chowder, the dent on the can, the left-handedness or otherwise of the accused, etc. etc., and wind up pinning it on the cashier. Or maybe Max.
@Baja Gaijin: Mary Worth without Mary? Kinda like Garfield without Garfield?
MW. Um, who, exactly was the man Estelle gave up on whom she “really liked?” Wilbur? Looks like the gaslighting is starting to work.
DtM: That priest sure has a coy, “come hither, fair youth” glint in his eye. Look out Dennis—you’re about to be renamed “Dennis the Statistic!”
H&L: Yesterday I jokingly commented that Thurston kept his job by being Foofram industries drug connection. Today we learn that he vacations in a city ruled by drug cartels and has one of the highest murder rates in the world.
In other words: “Boss, Shut up and get me a beer.”
Chicken corn chowder? Isn’t that the equivalent of the mob sending you a loved one’s ear or finger?
I had my doubts about Slylock Fox, but now that I see he’s a “cool teacher” who sits on his chair backwards, I really hope he goes in without backup just days from retirement.
GT: Apparently the fundraiser was so successful that they could spring Marty Moon from his shipping container and call the game live in person. No wonder he can barely control his excitement.
Sally Forth: Laura Jansen is giving Loathsome Lil a run for her loathsome money.
@Baja Gaijin: Your second version is fantastic, but I’m afraid the third one might be predictive.
MW: I was immediately diverted by the giant leg outside the window. Like there’s a huge Edda in a huge aquarium out there.
H&L: I want to think that the wispy Foofram has a terrible secret that only Thirsty knows.
DtM: That’s stark relief on those faces. “Made it through another Sunday without Dennis slaughtering a goat on the altar. Thank you, Lord!”
G. %*#$%@! Thorp: Now we know why Coach Kaz was invited to leave the team and seek further opportunities. He didn’t know enough to yell “Don’t Blow This Lead!” as the MILFs squandered a 50-point lead and lost in the playdowns last year.
MW: “Salad Town” sounds like a bad Western-themed eatery. I’m imagining a menu with choices like Shoot-Out at the Salad Bar Ranch, Saddle-Up Caesar, Wishbone’s Chuck Wagon, and a lentil-based offering called Miss Kitty’s Mole.
H&L: See, the joke here is that Thirsty isn’t late because he’s an alcoholic, it’s because he’s a firm opponent of DST — the alcoholism is besides the point.
DtM: You know, there are some jokes that, while not great per se, can still be funny if delivered at precisely the right moment. On the other hand, taking a lame observation and then holding on to it for — oh I don’t know, the length of time between the Lord’s prayer and the end of service? — just kinda highlights how bad it is.
GT: I’m not a basketball guy, and certainly not a follower of high school sports, but 50 points is a pretty good lead, it is not? I mean, coaches gotta coach and all, but this doesn’t seem like that even Milford could blow?
MW: Ah, Salad Town: the only place that serves giant salads under the kind of lights usually reserved for police interrogations. For people who really want to see their radishes.
“So, how do we know Weirdly threw that can of chicken soup?”
“HE HAS A CAN OF SOUP MADE OUT OF A CHICKEN’S CORPSE?!?! My best friend is a chicken!”
“Yes, it was made of metal, so it would have hurt if it hit. Now, the fingerprints of the worker stocking the can are not relevant…”
“The people involved in the INDUSTRIAL EXTERMINATION OF CHICKENS and the COMMERCIALISATION OF CANNIBALISM are much more guilty than a can-thrower! How can we, as a society, allow this, are we no better than humans?!”
H&L – The owner’s son-in-law….
DtM – Do those trespasses come with restraining orders….
GT – Good work guy sneezes with enthusiasm….
SFx – Let’s just white board this. And of course, the white board is permanent!y etched with….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
SlyF: Does a crime against nature count as a mystery? Something to ponder thanks to the gorilla and dog in the front row.
MW: Several weeks later? What? Why? What happened with the nephew and the mid-life crisis and the Wilbur stalking and everything? Has Dr. Mr. Ed been working 24/7 for a month because he’s obsessively honorbound to personally treat every animal in this city in the middle of some kind of pet apocalypse? Karen, we have to actually see these things developing to have meaningful feelings about them. Jesus. And as ridiculous as this is, it’s only the third worst time-skip in the CC comics rotation today.
Luann: Here’s the second worst time-skip of the day. (And no, you don’t get any points for guessing first place.) As usual, Evans immediately drops the current arc at the point when it would theoretically become interesting in favor of pivoting to something else. Who knows, maybe Bernice will run into both of her inexplicable thralls during her weekly musing session, but expect another inconclusive pivot soon after so Evans doesn’t have to deal with the icky complications of conflict and character development.
DT: It’s good to see Dick putting any effort into an investigation for once, but… is he on vacation or something? This isn’t a crime, let alone a major crime. Doesn’t Dick have actual work to do?
9CL: At least we can’t complain about time-skips in a strip where time has no meaning whatsoever.
@Twinkles the Elf: clearly the cashier (a capybara) and stock clerk (a stoat) conspired to frame Count Weirdly.
MW: The advertising jingle writes itself …
Gotta make a move to a town that’s right for me
Town to keep me movin’
Keep me groovin’ with some fiber
Well, I talk about it, talk about it
Talk about movin’
Gotta move on
Won’t you take me to
DtM: After talking with the priest, Dennis will try serving a communion wafer with some peanut butter to kids with nuts allergies, since transubstantiation changes the substance of the host while keeping the sensory perception. Now that’s menacing!
Slylock: Since the animapocalypse, the old taxidermy class is still being taught but with slightly different emphasis. Here, Slylock shows that because of their smallish heads, humans should be displayed with shoulders intact.
@MKay: MW: I was immediately diverted by the giant leg outside the window. Like there’s a huge Edda in a huge aquarium out there.
I think that’s Esther Williams.
Hi and Lois – Thirsty is definitely the exec who handles the hard-drinking, hard partying clients that no one else has the stomach (or liver) to deal with.
Dennis the Menace – Like the yeast-free wafers that make up the communion bread, Dennis won’t get a rise out of the churchgoers with this Family Circus level questioning.
Gil Thorp – A 50-point blowout win? Usually when those stories make the news the winning team is shamed for a lack of sportsmanship. Can’t wait to see Coach Thorp shamed on the national news and local politicians for winning by too much.
Slylock Fox – Slylock is definitely using his position as an adjunct to create a secret spy force, as well as hint at ways to frame somebody. Note how the grocery store workers are automatically cleared of any suspicion, without further proof that Count Weirdly did just pick up the soup in the store and return it to the shelf.
Mary Worth – Mary is struggling to make conversation with the depressed Estelle, who, despite dining at Salad Town, fails to live up to stock photography’s standard that women eating salad are always laughing.
MW: “Estelle, you must not give up on your hot vet boyfriend! At least for a week! I have a bet going on with Iris and I assumed you’d last a little bit more this time!”
“… a grocery store worker who shelved the soup can and a cashier.”
Perhaps a greater crime is the grocery store worker who shelved a cashier.
JP: We’ve been “joking” about how it was coming, and the day has finally arrived. With the Spencer home surrounded by bloodthirsty gunmen and no hope in sight, we cut abruptly from the night of Christmas Eve on November 8th to springtime. Months have passed since(… since) the fateful night when stuff may or may not have happened, or so we’re told by a text box or maybe some unseen character narrating or maybe the featured sparrow. Who knows? Not me, not you, and probably not even Francesco Marciuliano.
It’s hard to even talk about the dozens of plot threads left unresolved, because in a weird way resolutions are all we got. Nothing actually happened during this six month story. Nothing. We were just told the conclusions of events that occurred off-page and forced to accept them. In the same spirit, I will give you your conclusion to this story.
This is the worst story you have ever read or will ever read.
Be careful Thirsty! If your boss believes you are under Mexican law and not a US citizens, you’ll get paid much less than what you get!
Oh, somewhere in this favoured land the sun is shining bright,
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light;
And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout,
But there is no joy in Calverton
Marciuliano has copped out.
FC: “Billy in the bedroom with a hockey stick.” Part of Bil Keane’s attempt to market a Family Circus themed version of the boardgame Clue. Other strips in the series include; Dolly in the kitchen with a hand mixer, and Jeffy on the cellar steps with a roller skate.
SFx – “Count Weirdly’s are the only human fingerprints on the can. The others belong to an aardvark and a banana slug. And when it comes to crime, who’s guilty? That’s right, the humans. You think I’m going to accuse Mayor Barbara Banana-Slug’s son of stealing? Come on now, this was why we fought the war in the first place.”
A small but genuine bit of praise for Hi and Lois today, they’re at least getting CLOSER to conveying those coveted Frank Grimes-levels of infuriating modern tedium than I ever thought they were capable of!
MW – Forget it, “Stell.” It’s Salad Town.
“Look at the large eel-like image that the atmospheric reflection has created in the window in P-2, Mary!”
“When the toon hits your eye like a big piece of sky/
That’s a moray!”
“Your vet friend, whose name I’ll pretend not to recall though you mentioned it about thrice in every sentence, in full. Was it Dr Ed Softing, Stell? Was it?”
“Salad City” was right there!
Are we sure Dennis’ parents are boring, liberal Episcopalians? The seems to take the Sabbath on Monday, like some kind of spiteful Reverse-Seventh-Day-Adventist
Wilbur can get a job at Salad Town. They need help in the kitchen tossing salads.
Rate the menace level for these comments Dennis could make to the pastor:
“Man, the music was boring! Can’t wait to go home and crank up some Slayer!”
“Next time, can we debate some Bertrand Russell?”
“Don’t you be trying to give me some candy, you perv!”
“Did you cop a buzz from the incense too?”
“How did Joseph feel about Mary cheating on him with God?”
Weelbur is a tosser.
DtM: Next Sunday Dennis asks if Boaz’ feet got cold when Ruth uncovered them. Henry interjects to the confused preacher; “He means your fly is open.”
The effort, the brainpower, the tens of seconds that went into the name of that restaurant: (salad) chef’s kiss. I say this with complete sincerity: This is my favorite thing on the comics page in years. Everything about it is perfect. The name “Salad Town.” The salads themselves, indistinguishable from the flowers on the table. The fact that the name — again, SALAD TOWN — was clearly both conceived and written on the window while the proprietor was drunk. Salad. Town. I’ll never get over it.
I’m so glad that Slylock does the dopey, overly earnest “sitting on a chair backwards to be cool and relatable” thing as he “raps” with the kids about “the degenerate facial features of the lower, criminal types.”
GT: Leo Atazhoon will go to the line despite the fact that the defender didn’t touch him. Not hard to see how the Mudlarks went on a 25-2 run.
CS: Apparently Pam was unhappy that her father got all the buffoon lines and demanded that Batty let her show some evidence of her ample moron genes too.
JP: Is this where the mother bird murders her two kids but we won’t see that either?
Slylock Fox: Boy, that room number’s kind of on the nose, isn’t it? “See? 221b! Just like Sherlock Holmes! Sherlock, Slylock– get it? The original Arthur Conan Doyle stories are now all firmly in the public domain, so we no longer need plausible deniability!”
MW-“Anything new since Wilbur’s disappearance?”
FC-“We ARE in bed! Wanna join us?”
MW-“Ed just doesn’t sing like he used to.”
JP-Ah the usual tact. Can’t think of an ending so advance the strip a few months.
JP-And so the day was saved by Ted Chadwell.
SF – I’m calling BS on known criminal Harry Ape wanting to be a detective. He’s just there to learn Slylock’s methods so he can circumvent them.
SFx: There’s something wrong with Slylock’s example. Count Weirdly may be a sociopathic supervillain who commits crimes all the time just because he can (and because it’s fun to irritate the resident Karen, Rachel Rabbit), but he would never, ever stoop so low as to just throw a can of soup through a window. No, his crimes, even the most petty of them, always have some high-tech twist to them. I would believe it if he’d built a special robot with the only purpose of throwing soup cans through windows, or if he’d used a laser to melt the window, or given Rachel a mind-control drug that made her smash the window herself.
But this crime, no, that’s the kind of thing Reeky Rat and his punk friends indulge in, not a crime worthy of an aristocrat of crime! If the Count ever hears of this, Slylock will be facing the mother of all defamation suits. And he’d deserve it. Soup cans – bah!
JP: Remember when you were a kid and if you wanted to bust someone’s balls you’d tell a convoluted story and at the expected conclusion say; “and then he stepped on a piece of tin and the tin bended and the story ended.” and the listener would get all pissed off (or punch you). Just saying.
@astroboy: “SF – I’m calling BS on known criminal Harry Ape wanting to be a detective. He’s just there to learn Slylock’s methods so he can circumvent them.”
And Slylock gladly accepts known criminals in his classes. He doesn’t care about them learning to circumvent his methods, partly because he deliberately gives them watered-down, useless problems to work with, but above all because he knows he’ll outwit them anyway. With one or two exceptions (Count Weirdly and Cassandra Cat come to mind), the criminal classes in the Slylockverse are stupid, while, as everybody knows, foxes are the most cunning of animals.
DTM: Dennis definitely looks like he’s trying out the couple in the background as new parents. “No, we don’t look alike, but that’s because I’m adopted. Henry and Alice? I’ve never heard those names, and if they try to take me home I’ll scream ‘stranger danger’ until the police come!”
MW: Salad Town’s “pick your own” window box lettuce scheme was a great success until customers noticed what the local cats were doing in the boxes.
Uh, who’s narrating today’s JP? Based on Sunday’s entry, I expected the goons outside to invade the house and shoot everyone.
(I will admit that because of the weird colouring, I didn’t actually see Dennis’s parents, and for a moment I did genuinely wonder if the couple behind were meant to be taking him to church. I do think “Dennis’s family are rebooted as black (but he stays a blond white boy)” would be the funniest possible response to the recent comic strip racism controversies.)
Don Abundio, translated:
“My dog houses are custom built”
“They’re very cartoony, Don Abundio”
“But, where’s the dog for that house?”
“There isn’t one”
“That’s for employees who perform badly”
Archie: What kind of lame-ass tablet is that, that only has space for 200 books? A typical tablet today has space for thousands of e-books.
Unless, of course, those e-books contain lots of hi-res pictures. I get it. He’s using his tablet to keep his porn stash.
FC – “Hey, Mom! Did you remember to refill our Adderall prescription?”
MW: are we to understand Dr Ed never called Estelle to apologize and promise to make it up to her?
@Peanut Gallery: “Mis casas para perro son a la medida” – “My dog houses are custom built”.
That sounds like something from a rather far-out phrase book. Not quite on the “My hovercraft is full of eels” level, but almost.
FC: “No, Billy, you’re on the bed, not in it. You must learn to get your prepositions right, or there’ll be no dessert tomorrow!”
@Professor Well Actually: “MW: are we to understand Dr Ed never called Estelle to apologize and promise to make it up to her?”
Well, if he didn’t, Estelle is perfectly right to give up on him. But I suspect he did apologize, and then he had to take a rain check on their make-up date, and then another rain check, and another…
Remember his look of quiet desparation in the last panel yesterday? I have a feeling that this is not going to end well for Dr. Ed.
JP: Wow, I predicted this only yesterday at #99! The drone shot, green trees, peaceful scene – springtime in Cavelton! However I did miss the birds. Nobody expected the birds. Nice job, Sid.
MW: The narrator finally jumped in with a “Several Weeks Later” decree, bcause otherwise it would have taken close to 18 months to progress this far.
@jroggs: Marciuliano is a hack but he’s a hack who gets rewarded by hate clicks and snark comments. The adbots don’t care why you click and comment, just that you do. Walk away. It’s the only thing left.
DtM: If the MItchells are really Episcopalian, the pastor’s wearing the wrong vestments. It’s Lent–they should be purple.
Mary Worth – SALAD TOWN!!!! Where a dame can go to rest her stems and get a luncheon fit for a queen. SALAD TOWN!!!! Where fancy dressing is encouraged – both on our meals and our clientele. SALAD TOWN!!!! Don’t be a slob; order the Cobb.
MW-“Stell? My name is Estelle, Mary,” Estelle says as she throws her drink in Mary’s face.
MW-Don’t order the tossed salad it’s not what you expect.
BB: In one way, it’s even bleaker than Sarge admits. Beetle isn’t there to pursue happiness, he’s there to be a minor cog in the huge military machinery. And that certainly won’t allow for any personal freedom. And Beetle’s life isn’t for Sarge to give; instead, they’ve both signed up to give up their lives if necessary. On the other hand, they’re doing all that so that other can have their lives and freedom and pursue happiness.
Hmm. It seems this comic just missed an opportunity to make a statement.
@Pat O’Neill: The pastor would have a purple stole and chasuble, yes, but the cassock would remain white. Dennis is clearly speaking to the choir director.
Royale, Royale, it’s a helluva town
The Bum Boat’s up, ANIMAL HOSPITAL’s down
Aldo rests in a hole in the ground
Royale, Royale! It’s a helluva town.
Dennis the Menace: “Yes it does, Dennis, and we ordain women!” [awkward silence]
MW – Waitress: “And what kind of dressing would you like?”
Estelle (whispering): “As little as possible.”
Waitress: “What’s that? What’s that?” (To Mary:) “You want to do your friend a big favor? Take her home. Take her home! Just get her the hell out of here!” (To Estelle:) “Go home. I’m doing you a favor.”
Mary: “Forget it, Estelle. It’s Salad Town.”
Hi and Lois: It’s all fun and games until that chair slips out from under Thirsty, and he breaks his coccyx. Then it’s hilarious, because we get to say “coccyx” a bunch of times!
JUDGE PARKER: I think the worst part is that the only thing Ces had planned about this stupid story is that he needed to use that clumsy transition panel come spring. Therefore the “Judge Duncan” arc was clearly an exercise of wheel-spinning and stalling for time. I know this is going to come as a shock to many of you, given that it was as “subtle” and “understated” as being BLAMed through the head!
DtM: Objection, the clergyman here is way too under-dressed for even low church Episcopal, not even bothering with a robe under his suplice let alone a stole or chasuble (although he does seem to be wearing some kind of black academic hood in non-traditional white). I’m guessing the Mitchells go to one of those non-denominational Protestant churches that meet up in school buildings or old storefronts.
MW: Estelle’s ready to give up on Dr. Ed already? After dating Wilbur her tolerance for relationship drama should be MUCH higher than this…
SFx: But what if the grocery store employees are Slick Smitty and Wanda Witch, huh? How do you ratiocinate that, hmmm?
Slylock Fox and Comics for Kids: That’s not a drawing. That’s Weirdly himself, video conferenced in and projected on the whiteboard. He thinks any attention is good attention.
MW–Veterinarians are 2.7 times more likely to die by suicide than are members of the general population. Maybe “Stell” should get out of her own head and trying giving Dr. Ed Harding a call back to see if HE is okay.
Between Friends: God, I miss Retail.
DT: “Finally I’m going to nail him for the Virginia Rappe case!”
Dustin: Dustdad can’t even wait until getting off work before shaming his son. Is there a twelve-step program for generational hostility?
HotC: Besides, the teacher said one of your parents, so unless you emerged from the forehead of Zeus I don’t think you can make this argument.
JP: The Drugs and Corrupt Cop Cartel knows that the Parker-Spencer-Drivers are like bees, or Yellowstone bison: you leave them alone, they’ll leave you alone.
MT: We get it, Jules, Mark doesn’t like the dudebro conference, can we get on with it?
DtM: “Someone was listening! Someone was actually listening to my sermon! Maybe being a priest is for me after all!”
JP: An early spring? The local groundhog — Cavelton Chesney-Caldwell — must have been killed in the crossfire too.
@Ukulele Ike: Have you tried Adult Children?
Hi And Lois: What’s this? A Hi and Lois strip that doesn’t feature Hi and/or Lois at all? They’re expanding the Hi and Lois Cinematic Universe!
Dennis The Menace: Dennis always tries to cause a scene before he and his family step into church, as he knows full well that he’ll burn alive if he sets foot on holy ground.
Gil Thorp: Gil Thorp is, to me, the opposite of Rex Morgan M.D., in that it’s a strip that absolutely refuses to ever leave its core premise of SPORT even though it’s way more fun to read when it’s going off on bizarre tangents and off-the-field subplots that it cycles through at an insane pace.
Slylock Fox: Slylock trains the latest generation of secret police in the hollowed tradition of racial profiling.
Mary Worth: Love Mary trying to make small talk, blatantly pretending like she’s not vibrating in her seat at the thought of continuing to try and gaslight Estelle into getting back with Wilbur.
@Ukulele Ike:You know, I have lived in Canada my whole life, and I can assure you that overly friendly and helpful retail employees are definitely not a problem here. I don’t know where blonde Friend is shopping, any more than I know why she’s being a bitch.
MW: Salad Town…guaranteed Wilbur free.
MW2: It would be interesting to see an arc on how that same restaurant space changes ownership every three months.
GT: “What a game! What do you think, guest analyst Spike Lee?”
“It’s gotta be the shoes!”
MW: Poor pitiful Estelle is ready to give up on a really nice, interesting man she’s only just begun getting to know because he’s been so overwhelmed with his job that he can’t cater to her every little need? I’m ready to give up on Estelle. Aren’t there *ANY* characters in this strip that are emotionally mature? No – I didn’t think so. It’s almost inevitable that Stelle will end up with Wilbur, and if/when that happens, I’m through with “Mary Worth” for good. The stories have just deteriorated over recent years under Moy. Such a shame.
GT: If your team is ahead by 50 points near the end of the game wouldn’t one of your coaches yelling “Don’t blow this lead!” be considered sarcasm?
MW: Several states have a law that for a community to be able to call itself a city it has to have over 5,000 inhabitants. If a city’s population drops below that it gets demoted to town, village, burrough, etc. When Salad City’s customer base dropped below 5,000 regulars it got demoted to Salad Town.
JP: At first glance of today’s strip I thought I accidently clicked on Mark Trail.
MW — “Hi! Welcome to Salad Town! Can I take your order?”
“Sure! I’ll have a bacon cheeseburger and some fries.”
“Get the hell out of here. Now!”
REX MORGAN MD: “He LIKES it. He thinks it’s funny. He’s wrong, of course, but he’s like ninety years OLDER than me and he thinks BLONDIE is funny, too, so I don’t ARGUE.”
Slylock: Isn’t 221B is where Sherlock Holmes used to live? Guess he moved out.
@Guillermo el chiclero: MW – And with their testy waitstaff driving away customers, pretty soon they’ll be demoted again, to Salad Junction.
DICK TRACY: “I’ve never seen one BIGGER.” “You need to get out more.”
Seriously, I’ve always had problems with just how remarkably large/fat Nero Wolfe is supposed to be. I recall early books said he weighed “an eighth of a ton,” which sounds larger than two hundred and fifty pounds, but isn’t. Later this was boosted to “a seventh of a ton,” but I don’t recall it ever going beyond that.
I realize people, even in the first world, tended not to eat so much and become so fat in Wolfe’s heyday, but still two hundred and fity pounds, even on a guy of average height (I don’t recall him ever being depicted as unusually short), while maybe notable, should not have produced the sort of instinct slack-jawed wonder it sometimes seemed to do in the books. (I spent a lot of my life around two hundred and fity pounds myself — though I’m now down thirty-five pounds from that — but admittedly I’m several inches taller than Wolfe probably was.) But I suppose “the plump man,” as a descriptor, wouldn’t have been taken very seriously.
Mary Worth: Salad Town. Isn’t that a pretty stupid name for a restaurant?
Judge Parker -i guess the author was getting mail to show that lesbian wedding before he started the never ending story.Well maybe we will get to see what abbeys assistant has been doing all this time and sophie can go back to the pizza parlor in new york .
REX MORGAN M.D.: Sarah (or the alien from Zykron-7 who decided to play “Sarah” today): “Seeing an old unrelated fossil I’ve only previously met, like, once or twice? What tween wouldn’t be bouncing with excitement at that prospect?!”
REX MORGAN M.D. (2): It’s nice to see that June and Sarah have started to understand the current aesthetic of this strip and have made themselves look older and frumpier to mesh well with the overall “vibe.”
This is not what Stale had in mind when Mary burst into her room saying, “I’m taking you down to Salad Town!”
“. . . and he will go to The Line, because The Bucket has been closed for multiple health code violations.”
Slylock Fox: If that were an ordinary picture hanging from the board it would be skewed from our perspective, but it isn’t. This is either some kind of Hans Holbein fuckery or Count Weirdly is physically materializing behind Slylock to gloat that elementary deduction is no match for teleportation crimes.
@Daisy: In fairness, given the time skip, we don’t know yet just how many times Dr. Ed has ended up canceling on Estelle. If they haven’t managed a single date in several weeks, that actually is a legit concern.
That having been said, even if that is the case, this is looking more and more like a transparent ploy to get Estelle back together with Wilbur, who Moy obviously likes for some reason, despite spending the past decade going from being a “lovable schlub” to “obnoxious twerp.”
@Daisy: Notice, as others have pointed out, that the narration box says it’s been several weeks. I would say that means at least three weeks, possibly more, and Estelle has not heard from Dr. Ed at all during that time? Or he has continued to cancel on her? I’m not so sure she’s overreacting.
@Tom: Well I timed my comment to Daisy perfectly, didn’t I. Ha.
As a reminder, Danny Devito…I mean “Arther”….I mean “Arthur” had to con Estelle out of her money multiple times before she was willing to drop him (and even then, he had to cuss her out before the clue train finally reached Estelle’s station.) But being swamped with work is suddenly “too much” for her?
This brings up another peculiarity though. When Wilbur was dating Iris, he’d be gone for weeks or even months at a time for his
“Exploit People’s Trauma”“Survivor Stories” gig. Did this not come up during his courtship of Estelle? I guess now that Wilbur’s current occupation is “Professional Asshole” he’s down for sing-alongs and pet abuse whenever Estelle’s ready.
JP: Really? You can not be serious. Six months of buildup to … nothing. You know, if the author is going to keep doing crap like this, maybe it’s time to stop reading this strip. Or at least ignore the supposed “plot” and just look at it for a daily amusement. We’ll see.
The Familliar Mucus: “We ARE in bed! I’m trying to keep these two quiet, but I only have ONE hockey stick!”
RMMD: Yes! It will be June and Sarah who discover Horrible Hank has cooled it! Death pool, here I come! Wait, that didn’t sound right. They’re just getting my hopes up again, aren’t they?
MW: “So lettuce not speak falsely now/The hour is getting late.
“…..where’s Willburp? these Big Salads™ aren’t gonna pay for themselves!”
“How are things going with your vet friend? Remind me, dear, which war was he in?”
“H&L: I want to think that the wispy Foofram has a terrible secret that only Thirsty knows.”
He’s an escaped mouse murderer, who changed his name from the original “Little Bunny Foo-Foo.”
@Shrug: Reggie Fortune was plump. And who reads Reggie Fortune novels any more?
@TheDiva: I got that reference. Also, Tracy isn’t really working here — he’s watching Goodwin work. Tracy is just being a good host, because if there’s anything cops love, it’s private eyes. And If there’s anything Chicagoans love, it’s New Yorkers.
JP: “With one mighty bound, the Judge Parker comic strip was free!”
H&L: I want to think that the wispy Foofram has a terrible secret that only Thirsty knows
Nah, it’s common knowledge that Foofram has sex with the Loisbots after hours.
“Gil Thorp – A 50-point blowout win?”
To even things up, the next time they meet, Milford will allow New Britain to play ten men at a time. (Or, if New Britain prefers to stick with five, Milford will sportingly try to field only two and a half themselves — which should be interesting.)
No, wait, this is GIL THORP. Cancel that “should be interesting” line.
“a convoluted story and at the expected conclusion say; “and then he stepped on a piece of tin and the tin bended and the story ended.”
I recall the more suggestive “and then I’ll give you a Sleeve Job” version. (Typically followed by the “leftover brick” and the “duck on the plane” jokes.)
Oh, and how could I forget the “pink ping pong ball” joke?
MW – A familiar story for me. A familiar story for everyone. It’s like we’re being written by a hack who has never had an original or even vaguely interesting idea in her entire life. And why do we keep talking in random bold words? Frankly, Mary, I’m getting scared.
MW: has Mary always had that weirdly, long neck?
P: but are Sam and Abby back together?
@Pat O’Neill: #59
“DtM: If the MItchells are really Episcopalian, the pastor’s wearing the wrong vestments. It’s Lent–they should be purple.”
You remind me of another old joke —
On their wedding night, the new husband says “I’m sorry, we can’t ‘do it’ tonight — you see, it’s Lent.”
The bride replies “That’s ridiculous — to whom, and for long?”
I think adding a “should be purple” somewhere in that joke can only improve it. . . .
@Midtown: re JP: Hey, thanks! We had to keep those Birdies under wraps since, uh, last night when we got a call for an Avis ex machina. Short notice, but Foreground Fauna are one of our specialties.
RwO: Dogs are good at hearing things!
6Cx: Not our clients. We don’t represent one-celled creatures or anything else microscopic. We learned the hard way that it’s a tough job to keep an eye on them, and sometimes they don’t show up for the gig but say they did. Sneaky and untrustworthy.
There was one magical year when our generally lousy local high school hit the all-time luck jackpot and had 4 future D1 starters, 2 of whom went on to the NBA, and a star two-sport 6th-man who went on to win a Super Bowl in the NFL. They finished ranked 3rd in the nation. Lots and lots of games could have been 50-point or more blowouts, but the coach would play all the deep benchers and have them slow the game down, no flashy plays or dunks in their faces, and let the other team have some dignity.
Gil Thorp is a dick to bad opponents, is what I’m sayin’.
@gardenornament: Alternative translation:
“My dog houses are architect-designed”
“They’re very Bauhaus, Don Abundio”*
“But, which architect designed that one?”
“That’s an Oldenburg sculpture”
*(Or should I say, Bow Wow Haus?)
@Ukulele Ike: #114
“Reggie Fortune was plump. And who reads Reggie Fortune novels any more?”
He was better in the short stories than the novels, and I do read the short stories when I can find them.
On the subject of plump/fat detectives, were we ever told what Bertha Cool weighs?
@Peanut Gallery: “Or should I say, Bow Wow Haus?”
Come to think of it, a “bow wow house” must be child-speak for a doghouse, right?
Shoe: That must be some sort of low-water mark for a weak (and old) punchline, even by Shoe standards. Besides, isn’t the joke supposed to be something like “Due to the hot and humid climate, in Florida the right to bare arms is absolutely essential”?
Shoe: Why go all the way to Scotland for an example? Shoe and the Perfesser obviously have the right to bare legs. They never wear trousers and haven’t been arrested yet.
Dirk Twacy Hollistic Defective: “Just because he’s fictional doesn’t give you the right to body shame Wolfe, Archie.”
JP: I don’t know if I want an explanation of what happened or if I just want this mess of a storyline to go away.
DtM: Given the way the priest is looking at Dennis, the menace is about to become the menaced.
MW: [Cut to an island resort, where Wilbur and Dr. Ed are basking in the tropical sun, listening to the waves and watching with appreciation as several tanned and shapely young women in bikinis play beach volleyball nearby.]
Dr. Ed lifted his empty glass to signal the cabana boy for another round.
“This was really what the doctor ordered, Wilbur,” the vet sighed in deep satisfaction. “No animals, no angry clients, no demanding dates…!”
“No problemo, amirite?” Wilbur replied. “I couldn’t believe that I literally stumbled onto this vacation spot last year. I’ve been wanting to get back ever since, and I’m really glad you could join me. As man caves go, this isn’t too shabby.”
“I was glad to get away. HAHAHAHA. I wish I could have been there to see the look on my nephew’s face when I called him to take over the practice while I’m away! He was expecting to go off on his OWN vacation, but I beat him to it. I didn’t have the heart to tell him he’s got 24 euthanizations scheduled for Tuesday.” Dr. Ed shook his head, chuckling.
“What about Stell?” Wilbur asked as he accepted a frosty Mai Tai from the cabana boy. He took a sip and then set the cold glass on his belly. “Did she give you much of a hard time about coming here?”
“That’s the best part of this. Stell has no idea that I’m here. I told Steven that I was attending a long conference on “New Drugs for Old Pets,” and the idiot bought it. Estelle thinks I’m working too hard. BWAHAHAHAHHAHAA!” Dr. Ed leaned back in the lounge chair and took another sip. “You know, not to get too personal, but I sure don’t understand why Estelle ever left you in the first place.”
“Me, either.” Wilbur raised his glass in the direction of the cabana boy. “Not that I’m sorry she did. I’m having WAY more fun here with you than I ever could have with her. Say, there’s a karaoke bar behind those palm trees. Wanna give it a go?”
Hi and Lois-“I’m on Margaritaville time.”
Why is Dennis the Menace and other characters in the strip always picking their teeth with their finger?
Crock: Maggot just doesn’t get it. That guy with the popcorn husk was part of the performance – the producers have hired a number of extras to sit in each theatre where the film is playing and make various disturbances, all to enhance the audience experience.
Grossie sighs deeply. This is the last time she takes her husband to see an avant-garde French art movie. What a philistine!
Shoe: “In Soviet Scotland, legs bare you!”
Dustin: I really hope that Ed had another reason to come home early than to sarcastically mock his son. Because that would be a bit rich even for him.
Phantom: “Wait patiently in camp? That doesn’t sound like the Diana I know either! Look, who are you, and what have you done to her?”
Well, the artwork is lovely – reminiscent of vintage Mark Trail. I just want to know if Duncan Jr. found a home with Sam and Abbey. If I know that, then all is truly well, and I won’t have to look at this strip ever again. Yesss!!!!
@Everybody Posts, Nobody Reads: #98
Yes…yes, it is. Stupid.
Oh, I just realized I didn’t see the narration box at the top – you are absolutely right. If it has been several weeks without her seeing Ed or possibly even hearing from him, then that understandably puts the relationship in a different light. Thank you for pointing that out. On the other hand, it is totally within Estelle’s established character to give up on herself and her relationships and blame the failures on herself (“He just *insert appropriate response…* [doesn’t like me] [find me attractive] [think I’m good enough for him]!”)
@anty a: #105
You are absolutely right. I didn’t notice the detail about it being several weeks later. That being the case, then she can justifiably question how this relationship is going. Thanks!
@Garrison Skunk: #101
And after that, it’s Meatloaf Metropolis followed by Vichyssoise Village!!!
@Everything Is Better With Monkeys: MW: “And why do we keep talking in random bold words? Frankly, Mary, I’m getting scared.”
I was going to write that every superhero comic ever does this, but then it struck me that Mary Worth seems to be the only newspaper strip to follow their lead.
So yes, the question is why. Is Mary the secret identity of one of the more obscure superheroes? Muffin Woman? The Masked Meddler?
@Everybody Posts, Nobody Reads:
Mary Worth: Salad Town. Isn’t that a pretty stupid name for a restaurant?
Right up there with my favorite dumb restaurant name – a place at a local mall food court called “Nothin’ But Wings – And More!”. They almost painted themselves into a corner. Almost.
@Mardou Fox: #82
YES!! I was thinking the same. That is how genuine friendship works, isn’t it? Both parties caring about the other’s wellbeing?
That was great!
@Daisy: Thank you! Glad you appreciated it!
@Prick Henderson: #124
“Why is Dennis the Menace and other characters in the strip always picking their teeth with their finger?”
Their toes don’t reach?
In other news, dilbert.com seems to have gone dark… if anybody cares anymore…
Phantom: “I brought along your regular poontang so you wouldn’t be tempted to dip it in Savarna, okay? And I zipped her into her sleeping bag so she couldn’t get loose. Big fancy United Nations executive, and she’s confounded by zippers.”
@Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol: #150
says “Dilbert Reborn continues the character as a subscription webcomic beginning March 13, 2023” and gives a different URL.
The artwork is actually quite pretty and reminiscent of a pre-Jules “Mark Trail.” If “Judge Parker” were to become a nature-themed strip focusing on environmental issues and animal rights, I would not complain at all! I would much rather read about the hidden lives of nematodes than about the boring, nonsensical, convoluted lives of the humans in this godawful strip.
I was going to point out the ridiculousness of being worried that a team with a fifty point lead would give it all up, but then I remembered these are the mudlarks. Carry on, coach.
@Shrug: Hmmm.. had to turn off the VPN to look at that. Subscription, huh? Well, I guess that’s another comic strip I won’t be reading anymore.
JP/9CL: As God is my witness, I’m mentally folding Saturday’s/Sunday’s BLAM BLAM ending in JP as being continued into today’s 9CL, and the Judge and Drunk Detective meet with Scary Glowering Nun after Preteen Amos and Preteen Edda, now hiding behind the nun, shot at them.
And it works.
@Shrug: Subscription webcomic. Man, I bet that line will go all the way around the block.
@Old School Allie Cat: one, two, three, buckle my shoe.
Sunday Stripeybutt: “I wish Diana wasn’t here!”
Monday Stripeybutt: “I wish Diana was here!”
Takeaway: An active battle with fascists is safer for your wife than a peaceful stroll through a subterranean civilization of Almost-But-Not-Quite-Eh-Close-Enough Humans.
Huh. With the action in Mary Worth being “a few weeks later,” and in Judge Parker a “few MONTHS later,” ever get the feeling that their writers just aren’t feeling it anymore?!?
@gardenornament, MW: Looks like Moy cribbed notes from Ces, and they’re both time-jumping just to get to the end of the story.
If they crossed the streams, then Wilbur was the one left standing outside Spencer Farms after we heard the BLAM BLAM BLAM and all the antagonists — judge, drug rings, crooked cops — were killed.
Oh, Wilbur didn’t kill them. He showed up with a karaoke box and a portable piano and started to sing. Largest mass suicide in recent memory without the use of Kool-Aid.
@bats :[: *looks at Pibgorn* At least they’re writing something….
JP – A few months later, a thrush feeding her babies? Likely a hastily drawn substitute for the original “the following morning” scene, which featured ravens.
We talk a lot about the transition from human to animal power in Slylock Fox and their empty apeing (lol) of human society, but today I realized I haven’t given any thought to the titular character’s knowledge of Sherlock Holmes. Did he read Doyle’s stories? Did he, in his pretransformation days, catch a Basil Rathbone film through a human’s window? Did he personally choose Room 221b as a reference, or does the universe require a Sherlock Holmes and, with Benedict Cumberbatch no longer available, is it subtly reorganizing things to make this fox into one?
What I do know is that, given the conclusion of Murders in the Rue Morgue, that C. Auguste Dugong may have a higher clearance rate.
@Professor Well Actually: Would you settle for several days of Abbey chewing Sam out for involving her?
@Old School Allie Cat: That’s a truly ambivalent restaurant name. I suppose they have menu items like: “Atomic Flaming Hot Wings! But Not Actually As Hot As That Sounds!”
I see a lot of people ragging on Ces and Judge Parker, but for all you know, Spring has come of Cavelton but the gunfire continues. Opening panel tomorrow: an up-armored snowplow clearing the streets of brass and casings.
Sly: Yes to getting free food through my window. A resounding no to it being chicken corn chowder.
Slylock Fox: Slick Smitty, the only other person in the universe with fingers, has an airtight alibi, leaving Weirdly as the only remaining suspect.
JP-As spring comes to Cavleton so too comes the hope of a new writer.
@gardenornament: Yep. So SF’s theory is that Count Weirdly bought a can of chowder to throw through Ms. Rabbit’s kitchen window out of malice. As you point out, that doesn’t sound like him. A can of Unobtainium, maybe, materialized from another dimension, that I would believe.
I think it was a gift, a donation. The Count has played pranks on RR before, and wanted to make up for it. “Rabbits eat corn chowder, right?” he asked the clerk, who said, sure, why not?, and there you go.
@Little Guy: “Takeaway: An active battle with fascists is safer for your wife than a peaceful stroll through a subterranean civilization of Almost-But-Not-Quite-Eh-Close-Enough Humans.”
The Ghost is probably afraid that Diana (who’s secretly a steampunk fan, who’d’ve guessed?) will like it there and want to stay.
Crank: Please, no. Not a week of “Pam doesn’t get how the cloud works”. We’ve just had a week of “Lillian doesn’t get how blogs work” — have you no mercy?
The problem with these strips is firstly that Batty’s sympathy is always very much with the character who doesn’t get computers. Which would be fine, except that it means the explaining character is frequently talking the sort of nonsense that someone who doesn’t get computers would interprete a computer literate person as saying, rather than the sort of nonsense a computer literate person would actually say. And then the non-techie chatracter has to misunderstand that even further, and … yeesh.
JP: So … that’s it? The crooked cops shot Yelich and Duncan and with that, the entire situation just … went away somehow, crooked cops and all?
You know what? Fine. I’m just relieved to never have to think about this plot again, a feeling which I’m sure Ces shares, which is why he stopped doing so at some point last year.
So it’s “early spring”, and “a few months” since Elechristmas Day, I guess that makes it “now” again? I look forward to this day lasting long enough for Sophie to be on summer vacation.
MW: “Although this time it’s because he’s just too noble, rather than because he was blatantly a terrible person the whole time, so that’s progress!”
OTF: I’m no expert on steampunk fashions, but from what I’ve seen they mostly look pretty trad-Victorian, with maybe a couple of gadgets (and goggles, of course), and Dethany’s got it about right. I suspect anyone wearing the mess of clockwork she sports in the fantasy panel would be considered a poseur. As Sir Reginald Pikedevant puts it “Gears are appropriate to introduce/If they look like they have a legitimate use”.
Phantom: Stripey is clearly thinking “Sure, because if there’s one thing we’ve established at this point it’s that if you tell Diana to wait somewhere, she does that.” This is the most intelligent thing Stripey has thought over the course of a story that has already lasted even longer than The Duncan Murders, and often made almost as much sense.
SFx: I get that the duck is supposed to be sticking his tongue out because he’s concentrating, but it really does look like he’s thinking “I don’t know about fingerprints, but this Weirdly guy looks delicious. If I find him guilty of the crime, do I get to eat him?”
@’ehem’ Scud’: “I think it was a gift, a donation. The Count has played pranks on RR before, and wanted to make up for it. “Rabbits eat corn chowder, right?” he asked the clerk, who said, sure, why not?, and there you go.”
That’s quite possible, but I don’t think it’s quite the Count’s style to make up for his little pranks. Especially not to the squarest, most annoying animal in the forest, who must be about as far from the Count in any conceivable aspect as you can get.
Perhaps it was a gift with a twist? The Count knows that Ms. Rabbit absolutely hates corn chowder, and just wants to rub it in that she can complain and demand restitution as much as she likes, he’s still doing things his way.
MW/JP: If changing our clocks by one hour, twice a year, is bad for our general health, what are the effects of springing forward for a period of weeks or months? I know it has made me feel irritable, like I could punch someone.
JP: I’m so glad that we’re finally done with that horrible abomination of a mishandled plot that was the meth-judge story. Hopefully we can get back to normal now. After the purgatory we just went through I won’t mind all the shouting matches between entitled rich people. As long as the coming spring means that the women will be wearing tight tank tops (and that includes you, Gloria!) I’m willing to forgive a lot.
@Arabella: “MW/JP: If changing our clocks by one hour, twice a year, is bad for our general health, what are the effects of springing forward for a period of weeks or months?”
In the case of JP we’ll have to wait and see, but in the case of MW it obviously can make you want to give up on your love interest and maybe (but I hope not) settle for Wilbur.
JP: I would not a t&a oriented story with a goofy plot.
Now we’re obligated to decide on a species for Wilbur and Dawn’s fursonas.
Willburp would be a whale due to his size and singing ability, Dawn a duck so she can say “Life is brutal” in Daffy’s “You’re dispicable” voice.
@Professor Well Actually:
JP: I would not a t&a oriented story with a goofy plot.
Would you,could you, with a Fox? Would you, could you, in a box?
Also, Wilbur Whale and Dawn Duck are alliterative so if they want to make a guest appearance in Slylock Fox they’ll fit right in.
Wilbur Wale will make a good murder victim and Dawn Duck will be the victim of some romance scam.
MW/JP: If changing our clocks by one hour, twice a year, is bad for our general health, what are the effects of springing forward for a period of weeks or months? I know it has made me feel irritable, like I could punch someone.
That’s normal….it’s the Les Moore syndrome…an urge to punch is the standard reaction.
@Baja Gaijin: I’m torn between 2 and 3
@gardenornament: what every superzero comic (and also most comics meant for teens and adults) also does, compulsorily, is to have each character utter the other’s names in bold, presumably to remind Power Girl or whatever that she is indeed Power Girl or whatever. It is intensely annoying.
@Occam: They have foodsonas. Wilbur, of course, wears a vat of mayo with a pump. Dawn is a bowl of unflavored gelatin.
Toby is a bowl of SPLAK!
Mary is of course a muffin.
Hi and Lois-“You’re an hour late, Thurston.” “No. It’s your secretary who’s late.”
@Ukranazi Stepan: A dry bran muffin, with unsweetened carob chips.
Oops, that was me. I wish Josh would put more preservatives in the cookies so they didn’t go stale all the time.
Mary Worth Mashups: Do any of the mashups make the strip more enjoyable?
The third one would be better if you could actually fit Willburp’s head in Stale’s salad bowl.
MW: So Stell can forgive anything in a man except for working late? I wouldn’t let that get around too much if I were she.
SFx: Taunting vegetarians with delicious
meatokay, poultry products may be a fun crime but it’s not very ambitious.
@Lark L: #164
Perhaps Slylock more likely read the BASIL OF BAKER STREET books, about a mouse who lived in Sherlock’s room and solved mouse-level crimes. (“Sigh,” he’d say, “if only Max Mouse were that intelligent.”)
@Peanut Gallery: #167
I visualize a sign on a gas station “Last Chance for Gas Before the Desert, Except for a Few Others.”
Slylick Fox and Comix For Kinx: Of course this became a species hate crime when Sly found the note attached to the can that said HEY RACHIEL, WHAT PAIRS WELL WITH HASENPFEFFER? CREAM CHICKEN CORN CHOWDER ! Shall I serve?
Sly: “If the crime is dumb, he must have done!”
@cheech wizard: a nestful of baby birds (thrushes, ravens, pterodactyls) cradled in an inverted human skull would’ve been cooler.
uch with the character who doesn’t get computers. Which would be fine, except that it means the explaining character is frequently talking the sort of nonsense that someone who doesn’t get computers would interprete a computer literate person as saying, rather than the sort of nonsense a computer literate person would actually say. And then the non-techie chatracter has to misunderstand that even further, and … yeesh.
So, you mean anti-technobabble? When ST-TNG and FW are brought together ….BOOM!
And given that this is Judge Parker we’re talking about that mean that by tomorrow (spins wheel) Gloria is hysterically shrieking at (spins wheel) Randy because (spins wheel) ???* See, everything’s normal now!
*Sorry but this is the biggest area on the Character Motivation wheel.
@192 Garrison Skunk: I tried. I did. Hysterical blindness set in.
BG&SS: Great Googleymoogley! What is that creature? Some sort of levitating space worm thing? So that’s why Spark Plug wears the blanket all the time.
// Sid has some ‘splaining to do.
The only thing “cooler” would have been a pair of skulls.
The slylock fox is a rerun
@Maxim Gorky: No way, dude.
In 2021, it was a can of pea soup. Today, it’s CHICKEN CORN CHOWDER.
@Maxim Gorky: Excellent detective work, Comrade Gorky!
// They did colorize the Count’s face, tbf.
@Ukulele Ike: True. But that was just a “neighbor”. This time we have the victim’s name. It’s a slow motion canned food infenestration crime spree!
Yes, my boy Marvin is trying some potty training. Don’t worry. They’ll never finish the training or that would be the end of the strip.
@hameheNScudder: DAMN. I was so intrigued by the unholy transformation of the canned soup that I completely ignored the victim’s identity.
In another two years, we may see lobster bisque hurled through the picture window of Slylock himself.
MW: Looks like Ralphie’s old man is walking past the window with his “major award”.
Cartoonist Al Jafee just turned 102 today. Happy birthday, Al.
I would’ve thought the answer to Slylock Fox would be “Count Weirdly’s fingerprints were on the can because he’s a fucking human and everyone else is an animal. And what’s the first rule of animal law? ‘Four legs good, two legs bad’.”
JP – Mike Manley must smell blood in the water, because he’s clearly Auditioning for Mark Trail.
Phantom – Waiting patiently? That doesn’t sound like the Diana I know!
@tauycreek: Apes have fingerprints too.
@Nehemiah, I say, Nehemiah Scudder: Not only that, but Weirdly has waaay better tools for annoying Rachel Rabbit than throwing soup cans through the window.
@cheech wizard: I was thinking brown thrasher, but thrush works for me. The cheeks are wrong for a brown thrasher, but I’m not sure they’re right for a thrush. But of course there are several kinds of thrushes, and given the level of thought that has been put into the actual story *cough,* I’m kind of amazed that the ID of this bird can be narrowed down as far as you and I have managed it. I’ll just think of the bird as a brown thrusher. A brown thrusher who flew unusually high for a bird with babies in the nest, and why? Insects are not going to be caught way up there. Oh well.
*checks Tuesday strip* Death. Good.
H&L: you gotta wonder what sort of goods old Thirsty’s got on the boss. I’m thinking probably not dick pics…
@els: I genuinely laughed at this and I want a t-shirt with Salad Town written on it. It’s priceless.