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Shoe, 2/11/26

Shoe is a comic strip about depressed bird-people that is pretty committed to the gag-a-day format, but it’s actually been doing a continuing story of sorts of the past week or so. The story is about how the Perfesser bought a beautiful classic car that has turned out to be impractical and unsuitable for everyday use, giving him a specific reason to be depressed beyond the strip’s general sense of ennui.

Crock, 2/11/26

Wow, I bet you assumed Crock’s Legionnaires were involved in a rapacious colonial war to build up the glory and wealth of France, but apparently they will sometimes impose harsh punishments on French industrialists who aim to exploit the colonized population in ways that violate the laws of the Métropole! It really makes you think (about how child labor isn’t really a suitable subject for jokes, and execution by firing squad probably isn’t either).

Mary Worth, 2/11/26

JESUS CHRIST JEFF SHUT UP DO NOT ASK HER ABOUT THIS SHE WILL RECOUNT THE WHOLE STORYLINE AT YOU AND WE JUST NOW GOT OUT OF IT I’M BEGGING YOU

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Mary Worth, 2/10/26

OK, finally, finally we have absorbed the lessons (?) of the great Toby-Ian parrot story, and after eating those vegetables we get our dessert. That dessert is hot beefcake in the form of Dr. Jeff, who, after fitting a hood that’s too long to close onto his sports car, is taking a break to casually lean back, with his lilac shirt unbuttoned and sleeves rolled up to tease us with glimpses of his James Dean-esque undershirt and rippling forearms, like you do. Who wouldn’t want to go on a “sunset cruise” (wink) with this guy? The Mary Worth trufans certainly can’t resist!

Hagar the Horrible, 2/10/26

I guess we have Lucky Eddie awkwardly announcing that he’s staying outside in the first panel so that it would make sense for him to be asking this question to set up the punchline in the second. But I prefer to think that he knows Hagar all too well, and simply doesn’t want to watch Hagar murder the inhabitants of his former home and plunder whatever wealth they have, just like he murders most of the strangers he encounters on their journeys.

B.C., 2/10/26

I appreciate the single tear the cute chick “Grace” is crying for the farmers here. “Being a farmer sounds tough,” she’s thinking. “I’ll definitely urge my nomadic hunter-gatherer band to avoid agriculture indefinitely, and only interact with settled communities when we raid them for surplus goods.”

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Dick Tracy, 2/9/26

I haven’t really been keeping you up to date on this guest-written Dick Tracy storyline, but the short version is that a watch Dick gave long ago to his first partner, “Jerry Gould,” was dropped by a mysterious fleeing villain. Jerry does not appear to have an entry in the invaluable Dick Tracy wiki, so I assume he’s a new character invented for this plot and given the last name of strip creator Chester Gould as an homage. Anyway, it turns out Jerry left the force and became some sort of damn hippie with a guitar and a ponytail, although the flattop haircut he received upon joining Neo-Chicago’s MCU remains permanently grafted onto his skull.

Judge Parker, 2/9/26

Oh, it turns out Randy has been imprisoned for four and a half months somewhere where there is “only ice and time,” so, I guess … Norway? Like, he went to Norway to track down his wife by any means necessary, except some of those means violated some local laws and he was arrested and then duly tried, convicted, and sentenced? Seems fair to me. If you didn’t want to do the time in the cold, you shouldn’t have done the crime in the cold, Randy.

Gil Thorp, 2/9/26

Look, man, you’re going around creepily whispering in your rivals’ ears and you deal with high school ruffians all day, I’m pretty sure you can find your way to understanding the mindset that results in a little light vandalism. It’s fun! Have some fun with it!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/9/26

“That’s an awful big word, dad. Did you forget that I’m not very bright?”