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This week’s comment of the week … is HERE! For you to ENJOY!!!

“Actually, you’re a plugger if you often fall asleep on the toilet at any time, including in the middle of the day.” –Bob Tice

And so are your hilarious runners up!!!!!!!

“Interesting to open this strip with a panel of Shoe, who seems to do everything naked without repercussions, but maybe that just speaks to the inequality in avian society. I mean, if you were a rich and important media figure, how would you use your power? Would you maybe stroll around in the buff all day, going to restaurants and fern bars to hit on women with your junk exposed, just to show the world you can? No? Well maybe that’s why you’re not part of the global elite.” –pugfuggly

“Nota bene: if you’re a turkey in a world where both you and this dog/cat/chipmunk sort of thing can both talk, there’s a good chance it can also run a stove.” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“I guess they don’t call him ‘the Wizard’ for his abilities in the manufacture of Dextroamphetamine, or even just a bit of biker crank? Little something to take the King’s edge off?” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

“I want to thank the creators of Gil Thorp for a truly dynamic final panel. That said, if they really want me to believe Gerards is serious about humiliating Gil in front of God and his distractingly young fiancé, he’s going to have to be even more violent and ridiculous. Why stop at crushing a basketball with your bare hands when you could stab it? Filet it? Set its remains on fire, right there on the basketball court, and then devour said remains? EAT THE BALL! EAT THE BALL!” –Victor Von

“Dennis is talking a lot of shit for a kid who’s in a comic strip called ‘Dennis sucks.’” –matt w

“Look at Coach Thorp kissing that … that … Jezebel right there in public! As a 19th century Victorian magistrate, such impropriety would not stand in era I come from! And what are these strange orange rocks that somehow (foul magic by the wizard Spaulding?) seem to be inflated with air that you have lying around this enclosed courtyard? These won’t do at all, for flinging in the direction of yon lady in the middle of the towne square for the crime of wanton harlotry.” –2+2=7

“The thing that’s the most distasteful in Luann is the thought of someone so desperate to have sex with a nurse that they hover over him while he’s dealing with patients, and then drag him away without even giving him a chance to wash up. ‘Let’s get your hands out of those gloves and into…’, no, sorry, I have to stop there.” –Nevin, on Patreon

“I actually like the history lesson being presented here. Let’s remember back to the olden times, when portable music devices didn’t come with a phone, women in their 40s let their hair turn gray, bald men in their 50s kept a few stray strands of hair on their heads instead of shaving it all off and growing a goatee, and healthy green smoothies — well, they were exactly the same, except they were scooped directly onto your lunch tray for some reason instead of being served in cups. If we could only see Archie, Reggie, Betty, and Veronica in the background, wearing their American Eagle skinny jeans, hoodies, trucker hats and Uggs — and rocking out to Justin’s ‘SexyBack’ and Shakira’s ‘Hips Don’t Lie’ — we would realize that these truly were the good old days.” –BigTed

“I am picturing Ian as the dog in the ‘This is fine’ meme, with the flames replaced by piles of bird-destroyed things, and the floor covered in guano.” –CanuckDownSouth

“It’s Luann, guys. They’re not gonna have dumpster area sex, she just really needs to tell Phil about those couple days where she was a stick figure. Phil, resplendent in his one garment that is not scrubs, will be too busy thinking about scrubs to notice anyway.” –A Grave Mind

“Toby looks uneasily to her left. ‘Does this mean Ian will stop obsessing about the bird and re-focus on me?’” –TK

“Dumpster Lovin’ is bad enough, but Assisted Living Facility Dumpster Lovin’ is especially grim. Lots of soiled items, uneaten gruel, and the belongings of people who died and whose families were on the clock to get their loved one’s room cleared out. If that doesn’t get your Billy the Bookworm standing at attention, I don’t know what will.” –Old School Allie Cat

“It was a paid hit. It cost Wilson a popsicle.” –MKay

“The Law of Comics decrees that the only proper living arrangement is a nuclear family. No longhouses, harems, or colonies, unless you’re in an army. Today, B.C. shows the enforcement mechanism: Immediate death sentence.” –Downpuppy

“The other woman besides the Lockhorns looks to be a mime doing research on Leroy’s wordless flailing.” –nescio

“Leroy is unlikely to cut or bruise himself stretching. Rather than a first aid kit, Loretta should have a hydrating drink, a de-fib, or even past CPR training she might comment on. Waiting for him to pass out so that she can put a bandage on him is less ‘helping’ and more ‘creating an alibi.’” –Dondi’s Dad

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The Lockhorns, 1/16/26

I accept that, for narrative convenience, sometimes the Lockhorns need to passive-aggressively try to destroy each other emotionally with some silent stranger there for one of them to rhetorically address. However, in this scenario, Leroy appears to be standing on a yoga mat wearing workout gear and Loretta is standing within earshot in street clothes, which makes it difficult to parse where this void might be situated so that those two facts dovetail with the possibility of some random person wandering by in order for Loretta to quip at her for Leroy’s benefit. You have to assume that Loretta got tired of just walking around the house with that first aid kit and demanded that Leroy accompany her to the sidewalk in front of their house so that they could involve a nonconsenting third party in their kink.

Hagar the Horrible, 1/16/26

A fun fact is that the unique physical features of a golf course as we know them actually mirror the landscape of the game’s birth in coastal Scotland: long stretches of flatland or gentle hills with low grass and very few trees, dotted by occasional ponds and sand-filled hollows dug out by sheep for protection against the wind. Another fun fact is that during the Viking Age Norse warriors carved out an separate kingdom along the coast of Scotland and the nearby islands that lasted for centuries. So I declare this Hagar the Horrible mostly historically accurate, for once! If you ever wonder why Vikings were so eager to sail outward to conquer new lands, just think about the fact that coastal Scotland was their equivalent to Cancun.

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Dustin, 1/15/26

Remember Dustin’s dad from the comic strip Dustin, who’s notoriously kind of an asshole? Well, it turns out he’s also an alcoholic.

Dennis the Menace, 1/15/26

Remember Dennis Mitchell from the comic strip Dennis the Menace, who’s notoriously kind of an asshole? Well, it turns out he was a little too much of an asshole and some other kid punched him in the face. (I’m positing that it’s another kid for this post’s purposes because otherwise my joke is significantly less funny. Well, I guess the strip’s joke is significantly less funny too, but that’s their problem.)

Pluggers, 1/15/26

Remember pluggers, the aging lower-middle-class man-beasts from the comic strip Pluggers, who notoriously are in less than robust health? Well, it turns out they’re falling asleep on the toilet in the middle of the night, which probably isn’t a great sign of how things are going for them.

B.C., 1/15/26

Remember the ant couple in B.C.? Probably not, there’s nothing really notorious about them. I guess you could say they were notoriously like a normal middle-class couple with kids except they were ants. Anyway, they got divorced, and then the husband was killed by an anteater immediately afterwards. RIP male half of the B.C. ant couple, 1958 (?)-2026, you taught me that it was OK to be weird.