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Mother Goose and Grimm, 2/15/26

You’d think I’d be happy to see a strip that eschews “someone wants to defy the laws of nature and have sex with a half-fish being” for “someone wants to obey the laws of nature and eat a half-fish being,” but sorry, I just don’t find it likely. Why would Atilla become fish-mad in the (literal) face of a being who is, in terms of the bits you usually interact with, mostly human, and yet ignore Ma Goose, who is 100% bird, albeit an anthropomorphized one? And sure, in real life a cat is far too small and a goose far too ornery for that conflict to go well for the cat, but these characters are roughly the same size so the power dynamic is different. You can make your silly fantasy comic setting increasingly convoluted and I will fight it every step of the way!

Luann, 2/15/26

Meanwhile, in Luann, everyone is fully human, yet nobody is acting like a normal human being. “I’m going to give my husband a gift card to a lingerie shop for Valentine’s Day, in the expectation that he will immediately become horny, rush off to purchase some erotic underwear for me, and then come back so I can put it on and then we can have sex. The ideal time to initiate this process? When our college-age daughter is standing inches away from us. She’ll be impressed!”

Dustin, 2/15/26

The thing about Dustin’s mom is that she exists in a reality where the comic strip Dustin is not in the newspaper. Unlike her, we unfortunately will read through the day’s news, feeling terror, anger, jealousy, and encroaching old age in turn, only to get to the comics section, encounter Dustin, and feel mingled contempt and disgust.

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Six Chix, 2/14/26

Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone! Are you experiencing romantic love? I hope so, because if you aren’t, aliens are going to vaporize you, just straight-up transform you into a pile of smoldering ash with an energy weapon of unimaginable power.

Family Circus, 2/14/26

When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child, and I found the Family Circus kids annoying. When I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways, and realized that the Family Circus kids are supposed to be annoying and that’s like 90% of the joke of every panel. I really like Ma Keane’s facial expression in this one: “Oh, you’re putting it … uh … there? Where we can all step on it? And you’re definitely going to have a meltdown if I try to move it? Huh. Great. Happy Valentine’s Day to me.”

Pluggers, 2/14/26

Look, Chicken-Lady, your husband has always had a sexual fantasy about doing it with a mime, and he wants your help fulfilling it, and if you can’t see that, you’ve got more problems than failing eyesight.

Pickles, 2/14/26

Hey, were you wondering what the Pickles family was up to? Well, the Pickles daughter is worried about her parents, and she should be. They got disoriented and ran their car off the road. They should not be driving! They’re a danger to themselves and others!

Marvin, 2/14/26

Ha ha, it’s funny because as an infant Marvin was left unsupervised by his parents and ate dog food!

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It’s Friday the 13th!!! The first of two such days in consecutive months! Hopefully this comment of the week will assuage your fears:

“[patronizingly] That’s an awful big word, Dad. You didn’t hurt yourself, did you? Are your teeth okay?” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

The hilarious runners up will similarly soothe you!

“I think we’re misinterpreting this. The alien and robot aren’t trying to stop Heathcliff, they’re just … there. In that empty field. Doin’ stuff.” –A Grave Mind

“Heathcliff, known punk provocateur, set this all up to elicit a lawsuit from the NFL. The ‘Super Bowl’ refers to the name of the dip recipe, something that is not covered by the NFL’s trademark. When the NFL has to pay damages and attorney’s fees, he will use the cash to buy new, novel HAM outfits and props.” –Philip

“Yes, that’s an awful big word, alright. Here are a couple more: POSTOPERATIVE PERITONITIS.” –Charterstoned

“Say what you will about the insanity of the coaches, but both high schools have pretty nice walls with their names on them.” –treetown

“‘There is only ice and time’? Au contraire, there also seems to be a large building, and Randy Parker, and another guy. You can’t fool me, Judge Parker narration box!” –matt w

“Sorry, I cannot believe that this scene is real. I’m guessing tomorrow we’re going to see Dr Jeff snort himself awake from an impromptu nap on a pile of old Auto Mechanic magazines. He phones Mary and immediately gets his call declined.” –pugfuggly

“[Wipes tear] Looks like someone misjudged the futures market.” –Hibbleton

“Please let there be such a thing as bird strikes for yachts, please let there be such a thing as bird strikes for yachts, please…” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

“The Camerons don’t strike me as typical bird owners. Don’t you have to care about another living being in order to do that? Ian and Toby always seemed like they were struggling with the effort to do that about each other.” –2+2=7

“‘URK … UGH … SIGH…‘ is the ‘Christ, what an asshole’ of Shoe. It could be Cosmo’s dialogue in every panel and the strip would probably improve.” –Navigator

“Is Dennis’s mother’s food so bland? I don’t want to make judgments about WASP cuisine, but they think that water is a fancy drink deserving a special straw!” –Ettorre

“I can’t blame Dennis here. Dinner appears to be a wooden cog, three Goldfish™ crackers, and three lima beans. And who set that table, anyway? Drinking glasses go on the RIGHT. This is just a disaster all around.” –Menace the Dennis

“Dick Tracy doesn’t really do catchphrases, but if he did, it would be something like ‘Hey, bad person! [PUNCH] Don’t. Do. Crime.’ or ‘Forget about crime, you deceitful crimer!’” –Hergen

“So my understanding is that humans haven’t invented anything, all of our technology comes from a cadre of archaeological entomologists making bank from what they’ve dug up from ancient ant homes.” –Tabby Lavalamp

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