Mostly gripes
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Daddy Daze, 9/21/24
How it started.
Blondie, 9/21/24
How it’s going.
Archie, 9/21/24
Veronica tries a little too hard to sell Archie’s lame observation—not even a joke, really. Foreground Babe knows the score.
Luann, 9/21/24
What is it with this strip and basic repairs? We’ve seen Toni use a torque wrench to remove bolts (when the torque is zero you’ll know it’s off!) and a pipe wrench backwards until the fitting broke and flooded the laundry room. And now instead of splurging twelve bucks on a good flap valve, Bets here commits to a lifetime of jiggling the handle. Which is somehow a metaphor for her relationship with Gunther but I don’t wish to explore that any further thanks.
Gil Thorp, 9/21/24
Coach Kaz—man of action—has a go-getter’s literal-mindedness. “I wouldn’t be where I am today if it wasn’t for Gil. Here, at this table, drinking wine with you! He invited me!”
Program note: Rod Whigham, Gil Thorp‘s artist since 2008, is retiring. He will be replaced on September 30 by Rachel Merrill, who looks to me like a good fit. Congratulations, Rod and Rachel!
9 Chickweed Lane, 9/21/24
Here we see that Edda’s self-image pretty much corresponds to Amos’s image of her, albeit with subtle enhancements. And Amos, “briefed” isn’t quite the right word; the one you’re looking for is “pantsed.”
Well, that’s all for me; Josh will be back tomorrow. This was a lot of fun—thanks, everybody! But as much enjoyment as I get subbing in for Josh, it’s also a lot of work. So I think I’ll go find myself a nice park bench and sit for a while.
—Uncle Lumpy
46 replies to “Mostly gripes”
DT: Uh oh, looks like someone is grounded! Hopefully Ro-Zan is finally about to do his sinister lab invasion or whatever it is he came here to do, because I’m running out of ways to describe how ridiculous all these characters are. Speaking of which, what happened to that public fearmongering campaign against Lunarians? Mysta and Ro-Zan went to the zoo with Discount Elon Musk the following day, and it was totally uneventful. A bit of writing advice, Mike Curtis – don’t start a race war subplot if you’re going to immediately forget about it.
CS: There aren’t enough synonyms for “stupid” in the English language to fully describe this. Just go buy yourself a little plaque and fix your goddamned building so your neighbors don’t have to live next to an eyesore and your customers don’t die walking up the stairs, you vile self-aggrandizing crone.
JP: “It’s like I’m some kind of extremely underdeveloped character in a bad story, existing only as a wall for more important characters to bounce their tennis balls against over and over without ever becoming a real person in my own right. And it scares me, because I don’t know how if I have what it takes to break the cycle and create my own identi-”
“Sorry, I was checking my phone. Did you say something about tennis? Oh my God, that reminds me, Sophie borrowed my racket and I never got it back! Can you believe her?”
MW: Finally we get to meet Pam, whom Estelle (canonically at least sixty) hasn’t spoken to in thirty years, and… heh. Heh heh. Heh heh hahahaHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, man… Estelle, you dumbass, did you get into a decades-long feud in your thirties with a literal child?
Thanks and good job, Uncle Lumpy.
FC-So no escaping from the basement.
Luann-As it was predicted yesterday so it came pass Bets would fix the toilet.
MW-Estelle makes the ‘drinky drink’ motion when she mentions Ed.
GT — Can you ever really leave Milford?
Thanks, Uncle Lumpy!
Archie: I would say that Veronica is overly acting but the quaaludes have kicked in so everything is a riot.
Blondie and DD: The irony is not lost.
MW: Pam looks like she’s both half Estelle’s age and ready to stab her with a butter knife. I think I’m in love.
By the way, Lumpy, you’ve done a great job stepping in and it’s always a fun time with you.
@jroggs: Earlier I would have said Estelle wouldn’t be that petty but with how she’s successfully managed to be as unsympathetic as her fellow Charterstone residents, I can believe she’s as much of a child hating, adult spoiled brat as the rest of them.
9cl – So Edda’s fantasy self has a chin! Who knew?
Luann – Shaking my head at the bad writing. Les correctly diagnosed the toilet problem, and then became convinced by the internet that he had to replace the toilet? That only works as some kind of political metaphor.
As for Bets spending her life jiggling? Well. She isn’t built for it. That’s more a Tiffany or Toni thing really.
But Les is back in his room with his cat. We must imagine Les content, because he is.
Crankshaft : …You have no idea who did this and why. Come to mention it, your NEIGHBORS have no idea who did this and why, and have EVERY reason to think YOU did this yourself, as a publicity stunt!
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Dustin : nothing illustrates the relationship between Dustin and DustinDad better than the fact that when DustinDad was up the ladder, Dustin held the ladder for him, while when Dustin is up the ladder, DustinDad is standing as far away from the ladder as possible with his arms folded.
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Gil Thorp : It’s so weird to see Coach Kaz being refered to as “Bob”, because you’d think “Kaz” would be the diminutive of his FIRST name (“Casimir”?), but apparently it’s for his LAST (“Kazarian”?)
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Luann :
*Everyone who saw “Bets immediately fixes the toilet’s problem” coming knows exactly how dumb this comic is
*Everyone who’s still confused about the whole “But everything Les did in reaction to the toilet’s problem is how you’d fix clogging, not ‘toilet bowl is empty, but toilet is still flushing’ ” is WILDLY underestimating how dumb this comic is
@richardf8: “we must imagine Les content”
The struggle to stop the toilet from running is enough.
And that moment when he reaches out and juggles the handle is one that fixes toilets and lifts lids. The toilet, no longer running, is now a matter of human frailty. The toilet is not too much.
“There is no worse punishment than worthless, hopeless labor.”
“Well, maybe having to read Luann every day.”
— Albert Camus
Thanks Uncle Lumpy for filling in, you did a great job! :3
Also, I know a lot of people really REALLY hate Luann, personally it doesn’t get covered enough on here for me to make an opinion, but that last panel really gave me a “Daaaaawww” moment, and I don’t regret it.
Archie: Foreground Babe looks like she wandered over from Gil Thorp. Thus the cynicism.
Luann – Well, there’s your problem. What you got there is a left-handed toilet.
So long lumpy. You will not be missed.
GT – “Why did you leave Milford, Bob?”
“Well, I moved to the town where Bubba Joe Tilwells lives. Thus raising the average IQ in both places.”
Don Abundio, translated:
“As long as you have Mimosa you don’t need your limousine!”
“Because I’ll be in bed for a week!”
MW: I don’t follow people here claiming Pam looks younger than Eshtelle. To me they look practically the same, only Pam has what I’m convinced is a dye job.
Luann: Les cuddles a kitten and can’t fix a toilet. Wasn’t that just a THRILLING week of strips, folks??!! Sure gives ‘Truck sits on a bench with Parker’ over in RMMD a run for its money!
Luann: Unlike Gunther, Les got the pussy tonight.
Thanks for filling in, Uncle Lumpy!
Luann: There go those Evanses being masters of misdirection. Everyone knew Bets was going to fix the toilet, and that’s what happened!
GT: “Well, I didn’t want to leave.” {Meaningful glance in Gil’s direction}
9CL: “Debriefed” would have also been acceptable, for certain limits of acceptability.
Frazz: Oh, Caulfield will get 1 percent better each day at making Mrs. Olsen’s life hell, don’t worry.
FW: I’m going to hit my head against a wall a few times. Maybe a concussion will help me make sense of this strip. I don’t like to pull out the term “clodhoppingly stupid” very often, but this is clodhoppingly stupid.
MW: I’m surprised Pam didn’t estrange herself from Stelle again after she was forced to list to Stelle gush effusively on the phone.
Zits: Jeremy upped the stakes on Alexander and Angus.
FC: Your best bet is to lure Jeffy into the closet and lock him in there. It shouldn’t be too difficult to pull that off.
I can’t believe the GT artist has been doing it since 2008, and I still haven’t gotten used to it.
CS: Levon wears his war wound like a crown . . .
The art in Gil Thorp can be questionable at times, but if Gil is actually about to ram that wine glass into Kaz’s face, well then, kudos.
Frazz: Yeager flew dangerous missions during WWII and later as a test pilot, while you two spend every minute engaging in mutual mental masturbation. But yeah, basically the same thing, so let’s go with that.
MW: Formerly estranged cousin Pam can’t wait to give Ed an extremely inappropriate welcome-to-the-family lip lock, boob smoosh, and pelvic grind.
CS: During this entire episode, I don’t believe Crankshaft has said a single word, so we can all be grateful for that.
Luann – Was I the only one – when this gripping toilet story started – who thought Les had clogged it with a thunder turd?
And I agree with all who say there can’t be enough synonyms for stupid for both this and Crankshat.
MW – Just as long as Pam bangs Ed, I’ll be satisfied with the outcome on this one.
Pluggers: Another attempted crossover with Pickles, where they try to make feminine facial hair “funny.” Trust me, it’s not working for either comic.
@Cleveland Mocks: (on CS) Well, we wouldn’t want to ruin the gravitas by having Crankshaft utter a malapropism unfit for the seriousness of this story.
Does Estelle think that Ed being late due to an emergency will have everyone get upset because he’s not there or that she’s going to be ridiculed for something that she has no control over? At best they’ll be understanding about the situation and at worst there’s probably only one or two people who’ll grumble about the wait for maybe a minute. Either Estelle is ridiculously paranoid or she thinks that everyone else is as shallow and self centered as she is.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: That’s what the Evanses wanted you to think. Masters of misdirection!
Archie: Really like how out-of-place Foreground Babe looks. I’m 100% sure that the artist forgot to draw her in and had to cut and paste her into the strip hastily before the deadline.
Luann: I genuinely can’t believe I’m saying even the slightest positive thing about Luann, but this – devoid of all context – is pretty cute and wholesome. ACTUALLY wholesome, not the weird fakey neo-puritan facsimile of wholesomeness that Luann usually does.
Gil Thorp: Here’s hoping that Rachel keeps drawing the characters with soulless black pits for eyes!
H&L: that bartender gives bad head.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: I love your optimism, Scratchy. Ed should definitely dump Estelle, keep her much more endearing pets, and hook up with Pam. Estelle can get her shallow adoration from Wilbur if she wants a nebbish little gnome to constantly spend time with her.
RMMD: At the Morgan Clinic, Rex is puzzled as to the nature and cause of Truck’s condition. “Well, I’m at a loss here, Truck, so there’s only one thing to do: amputate [WHACK!] Sorry to spring that on you like that, but the less time you had to think about it, the better for both of us. Now let’s see if we can get that bleeding stopped. . . . HEY JUNE, DO WE HAVE AN BAND-AIDS AROUND HERE?”
Uncle Lumpy, you have been fantastic lo these two weeks! Take a well-deserved brain wash.
Crank: “Customers can stand in this bucket, and I’ll haul them upstairs with this rope.” Monday: NEXT ADVENTURE!
DT: ”The Zoo was nice. Did you know these people are descended from apes, not caterpillars like us?”
JP: Taste the pancakes TASTE THE PANCAKES
Thank you for a great fill-in stint, Uncle Lumpy! I always look forward to these Uncle Lumpy Reads The Comics So That You Don’t Have To intermissions, especially since one of those comics is “Luann”, which I definitely don’t want to have to read.
As a 60 year old long-time unemployed man who’s currently “borrowing” $1500 a month from my dad for rent/bills, I feel seen in Daddy Daze, and I don’t like it.
But thanks to Uncle Lumpy for the fill=in!
CS: NO RETREAT! NO SURRENDER! NO WHEELCHAIR RAMPS!
@Needless Exposition: Hey, why not both?
MW – Groucho Marx: That’s it! You said the secret word, “effusively,” and the duck has flown down to give you $100!”
Crank again: “It will be like the bullet holes in the walls at Pere Lachaise where the French Army executed the Communards. Ni Dieu, ni maitre. Banzai!”
Thanks for a fun three weeks, Uncle Lumpy. We always relish your bringing in alternate strips and alternate humor.
@The Quiet Man: Both is good.
@Needless Exposition: As good as dogs are?
9CL: I stopped reading this strip regularly a couple months ago. It’s good to know I’ve missed absolutely nothing.
GT: So with a woman on the team, is there any hope of moving away from “Gil Thorp is the best, most important person in any situation” or is that still Barajas’ call?
Luann: Several women have pointed out that the insult “unmarried cat lady” tends to reflect more on the men who use it, because women have looked at them and decided that a small animal that claws up furniture and craps in a box is better company than he will ever be. I know Les doesn’t fit the “lady” part of this equation, but I think he’s come to the same conclusion regarding Luann’s Designated Heroes.
FC – Dolly’s dressed for a 1950s party. This should be fun, daddio.
Rex Morgan – We interrupt this gripping week long discussion about whether to make a doctor’s appointment for an intense discussion about why Truck doesn’t have his cell phone.
Rhymes With Orange – I don’t know if most people would recognize a drawing of an actual tarot card – maybe the one with the upside down hanged man. There has to be a better way than clumsily labeling a card “tarot.”
Crankshaft – It’s like Jackie Kennedy refusing to change her pink suit. “Let them see what they’ve done.” (Too soon?) Only it’s a loathsome hag putting her customers in danger. Yeah, you loathsome hag, let your customers tramp through gasoline and then hope that the steps don’t collapse when they walk on them.
There isn’t an eyeroll massive enough to reflect just how abominable this self-important story is. Dreck isn’t a strong enough word to describe it.