Saturday is for fraught relationships
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Luann, 8/1/26
Much as it pains me to give Luann some credit, and much as it pains me to say anything positive about the “Brad and Toni have sex in the shower” interlude, I will admit that it’s a positive step that the strip has finally moved beyond ribaldry and is now admitting “Yes, the couples in our strip have sex, like normal people do.” Or at least some of the couples! Because I guess Phil and Luann might move in together, but possibly in separate bedrooms, and Luann is like “Oh, huh, well, this is … not what I expected?” Very odd situation for college (or older?) age adults to find themselves in, but at least we’re back to the old sexually confusing and/or gross Luann scenarios we all know and love.
Gil Thorp, 8/1/26
Quite an interesting list of wedding guests vendors Gil has assembled: his enemy-turned-pal/employee Coach Luke is his officiant, his enemy-turned-frenemy(?) Marty Moon is his DJ, and his still-current-enemy Coach Gerads is, nonconsensually, his bartender. Ha ha, he’s wearing Groucho glasses as a disguise, what a kook! I assume that he murdered the bartenders Gil hired and, via a slow-acting poison in the drinks, has also murdered most of the guests at this point.
Hi and Lois, 8/1/26
It’s not clear to me if Thirsty failed to make his usual golf time with Hi because he’s passed out drunk so Hi has been assigned a partner on the course, or if Hi has decided to make a new friend because Thirsty is chronically drunk and unreliable, but this guy’s shocked expression in panel two shows that he has a lot to learn about Hi’s complex emotional life. A guy who’s playing golf … even though he hates playing golf? Who ever heard of such a thing!
Archie, 8/1/26
So in order for this strip to work, you have to imagine that Archie’s dad abruptly and without explanation told his family to pack, checked out of their hotel early, and now they’ve been driving in silence for hours until his wife finally got the nerve up to ask what’s going on and he replies, heavy lidded, “I’m tired, dear. I’m so tired.” Pretty chilling!
Shoe, 8/1/26
Biz, I don’t think you should be making a sly, flirtatious face at Roz as you explain that all your friends are dead! I think that’s going to make everyone uncomfortable, actually.
52 replies to “Saturday is for fraught relationships”
Shoe: “In other words, Roz. Love the one you’re with (wink wink).”
Gil Thorp:
“I’ll have another old-fashioned. Send it straight to DJ Moon, though!”
Shoe:
What a happy, fun theme to start a Saturday. I can sure see why they call this a “comic.”
Shoe. “No, at 69 you get together with friends (wink, wink,say no more)”.
MW:
“Beedie? He took a few days off…actually, whom am I kidding? He’s taken a whole lifetime off. You know how it is with those former felon drug addict types….”
Luann:
I think what’s happening is that Luann is assuming they need to get additional roommates to afford a two-bedroom unit on their meager salaries. The guy (I don’t remember his name and I refuse to look it up) is about to reveal he has a candidate all lined up, who will presumably be ironic, or horrifying, or something. Of course, despite the strip’s new “oh my god people actually have sex, can you believe it?” stance, Luann definitely seems like she’s too neurotic to have it in any sort of shared living space, so her semi-voluntary celibacy will continue.
Hi and Lois:
“Now is the winter of my discontent.”
“You should be Bard from making a play on words like that, Hi!”
Shoe 2 Electric Bird A Lou : “Speaking of…tell the Professor Herm says ‘Hi'”
Hi and Lois:
Both Hi and this mystery man have their putters out, so they’ve played the majority of at least one hole already, and judging by Hi’s dialogue, he’s already started profoundly fucking things up. His partner’s question thus becomes less “friendly small talk” and more “cruel taunting”.
GT: Coach Gerads sits on the curb outside the club dejected. “Wait. He can fire me?”
Low and Hi-Less: “Flagston, did you really need to jam this golf club in my head just because you missed that shot?” “Sorry, I didn’t realize how dependent I got on the six packs Thursty would bring in his golf bag.”
@Vulpes: I lived with only one gf (later married) and we started a bit later in life with a 2BR. We had more stuff, and from what I’m guessing, more money than these two, plus it was mumblemumble years ago.
Hi playing even though he hates golf? No. Hi playing because he hates golf, and actual self-flagellation gets you committed these days.
MW:
“Beedie? He told me that he was going to a constitutional monarchy in southeast Asia with a population of approximately sixty-six million people. I asked him if that meant he was going to Thailand, and he said, ‘Yes, Siam!’ “
SHOE: Is he really 96, or just moulting and sneaking the senior discount? Hard to tell with birds.
GT: Does being a winning coach normally result in unrelenting hostility, dire threats and ominous wedding-crashing from all of the other coaches? Is that a thing? I’m not much of a sports person.
Archie : I wonder what the heck Fred (ArchieDad)’s large adult son got up to that he’s THIS desperate to immediately end their vacation. Like, Archie’s the lamest, most squeaky-clean loser to ever be in a love dodecahedron, so what kind of incredible prude and chaste shenanigans did he get into?
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Beetle Bailey : I know it’s necessary for the “Idiotic plan is approved because all the smart people keep quiet while the brownnoser speaks up in approval” joke, but what is Lt Fuzz doing in this meeting? Actually, outside of Major Greenbrass and Captain Scabbard, what are they doing at this meeting? Those six can’t be the most senior officers* at Camp Swampy, can they? Because “Camp Swampy is a fake military base for rejects” aside, that’s a small skeleton crew! (they couldn’t put no-name colonel randos in there?)
*Sarge isn’t even an officer!
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Dennis the Menace : is unloved and abandoned by everyone, and no one looks for him when he goes missing. LAUGH IT’S FUNNY!
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Gil Thorp : I like to think that Coach Gerads’ mustachioed sidekick was not wearing a disguise at all, and Gil Thorp still didn’t recognise him.
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Hi & Lois : only a true pessimist would hate both Spring and Fall, but see Summer as merely the buffer between those two seasons, not even worth naming as its own season. Truly living up to the “Secret Anti-Joy comic” moniker
(except for the “keeping it a secret” part)**********
Six Chix : Little did young Doreen Green and Tippy-Toe realise how far their new partnership would take them.
Luann: What’s funny about this strip is Phil’s expression in the last panel: he looks really excited to tell Luann that they won’t be sharing a bed! Maybe what really gets him off sexually is disappointing Luann, which, in a way, I kinda get.
GT: No, no, Coach Gerads, you’re supposed to say your own name with bolded emphasis. It’s not shocking that Gil is at his own wedding, it’s that you are. Listen, why don’t you kidnap the coatchecker and try this again?
H&L Is it just me, or should this conversation be happening anywhere other than a golf course? I mean, even if you assume that they haven’t started playing yet (and thus this new character couldn’t see for himself), it jsut seems rude. “So how are you at this game we’re about to play? Do you suck at it? ”
Archie: Man, they don’t make cars like they used to, huh? I really miss those nice compacts that were only about 4 feet wide with a completely stainless steel interior, seats and all.
Shoe: Roz suddenly remembers those news reports of mysteriously dug up graves and shadowy figures lumbering through the night…
Six Chex And A Cat Named J.Nebus Asking “Have the Chix Ever Seen a Squirrel?” In Search Of A Punchline: “No, they draw everything like that.”
Wizard of Id: Good thing it’s the king’s order, otherwise the guard’s knowledge of Newtonian physics would get him excommunicated, if not burned at the stake.
Between Friends: Half of the Serenity Prayer? Susan must be more of a wine mom than she lets on.
MW: The narration doesnt’ say it was a discreet inquiry.
Dawn: “I was hoping Tommy didn’t have a relapse.”
Manager: “Relapse? Lemme tell HR!”
FC: Thel has been perpetually ten years out of high school since Eisenhower was president. At least give us a look at what the hairstyle was! I’m thinking Cyndi Lauper / Madonna early 80s, complete with the lace gloves.
Ph: Here I was thinking that POC who narrowly escaped(?) Schmelon Schmusk’s clutches the first time he showed up was going to be the deus ex machina, but I guess it’s going to be this random waitress who is two seconds away from getting fired?
MW: Her one lead exhausted, Dawn drives around the neighborhood with her head out the window calling ‘Tommy! Here, Tommy! That’s a good boy!’
RMMD: Who the heck is Marti and why should we care that Sarah is seeing her?
H&L – These guys are both holding putters, meaning they are about to tee off with the worst possible club in the bag to tee off with, or they’re on the green doing stupid banter while the group behind them is waiting for them to clear. Either way, they should golf doesn’t seem to be their game.
FC: Trying to imagine what the typical hairstyle would be in an Australian city that changed its name from Nashville to Gympie. I’m stuck between Marge Simpson and Road Warrior.
GT: “Why does this drink smell like bitter almonds?”
“Uh, um …I just had a Mars bar.”
Luann: The obvious solution is for TJ to be Phil’s roommate. The pregnant couple probably wants TJ to leave, Phil can’t afford an apartment without a roommate, and Luann’s proven herself to be financially unreliable.
MW: A supermarket stock-boy asks for a few days off with no advance notice, and gets them? Add “retail business” to the long list of topics that the writers know nothing about.
H&L: How’s your golf game, stranger?” (Smiles)
“Sucks in the spring. Sucks in summer and sucks in fall.”
Shelly throws down his prop club, turns his back and walks off the green.
[scene cut from Glengarry Glen Ross after test audiences found it too depressing]
@The Quiet Man: Phantom – no, that’s Nomad’s daughter working in a bar while she and Sophie are students in Mawitaan
Hi is exasperated in the spring because he needs to get back into form after the winter layoff, and frustrated in the fall because the season for his beloved golf is drawing to a close, so between those two he is happy! I am not wearing my glasses and can’t make out facial expressions.
@24 Banana Jr. 6000: “Luann’s proven herself to be
financiallyunreliable.” Fixed that for ya.Archie’s dad’s car is going so fast it’s levitating; he must be in a hurry to get home. Maybe he’s one of those guys who can’t use the bathroom anyplace but home.
In the original art for Shoe, Biz’s beak straightened out.
@Vulpes: I think this is calling back to Luann’s plan where she wasn’t thinking of “moving in” with Phil but IIRC the phrase was “moving out” and she explained to The Girl Who Told Phil that, um, yeah, she’d need her own bedroom. Which led to even more layers of tee-hee misunderstanding considering that Luann never even told Phil about trying to get a promotion to get enough money to split an apartment with him. Somehow Phil is supposed to know about Luann wanting to share a roof but not a bed. Somebody else can calculate where this you have to assume the unmarried aren’t actually cohabitating Luanniverse rule lands on the Fundie Sexual Spectrum
This is one of those rare occasions when I see something interesting in Gil Thorp. Obviously not the plot, but the enigmatic “SHK SHK” onomatopoeia that merges with the shadows of Coach Gerads’ armpit.
I was hoping for a comment about Dinette Set just watching the tornado that’s going to kill them all.
Gil Thorp-The bartenders were rolled up in blankets and thrown off of a bridge.
MW-Dawn can’t be away from a man for more than five minutes without falling to pieces.
Shoe-It’s funny because he longs for the sweet embrace of death.
Shoe-He is either admitting he wishes he was dead or that he is secretly a serial killer who takes his victims to cemetaries.
GT: Once again, why does Coach Permawave want to attend Gil’s wedding so badly? He doesn’t like the guy, and the feeling is obviously mutual. Is it because the entire universe revolves around Gil Thorp and he wants to be as close to that nexus as possible?
Luann: “Settler” sounds like something that will describe Luann for much of her life, beginning with Phil.
JP: “I’ll be downstairs waiting in the lobby! For a ride back, like a seven-year old! I’d call an Uber, but there’s no place in this dress to carry a phone.”
MW: Next Week’s Adventure: DAWN LOOKS FOR TOMMY SOME MORE!!!
GT: ”I know you don’t make an Old-Fashioned in a cocktail shaker, but the guy behind you asked for seven martinis and I decided to serve him first.”
@Anonymous: It’s a real pity you didn’t let your Archie comment stand alone, because that probably means it won’t be COTW, which it deserves for the phrase “love dodecahedron” alone!
@Banana Jr. 6000: On the one hand, I’m betting you’re right and that’s all going to be part of the ‘grand reset’ the Evansii will have in place by the time The Spawn of Bwadoni is unleashed upon the world. On the other hand, Bwadoni have been clearly on record as wanting TJ to stay so he can cook and clean and do all the boring chores, which I’m sure will eventually include diaper duty, while also paying rent to Mr. DeGroot.
C’shaft: “Wait, that wasn’t the word, what did they say…? Oh right, ‘boring and stupid’.”
DT: I can’t believe this is the first time Dick Tracy has been cussed out by a Yiddish retiree.
Dustin: You think Dustdad can cook? Please, it’s obvious he considers that to be the wife’s job, even as he complains constantly about the results.
Pluggers are in constant pain, all the time.
RMMD: Can you prove this conversation isn’t AI-generated?
The Evil Coach in Gil Thorp removing his disguise (?) and revealing, in big bold letters, not his own identity, but that of… Gil Thorp, the person he’s talking to, the groom at the wedding they’re all at, as if the groom’s name were the big secret, is one of the funniest things ever to happen in the strip.
@Bob Tice:
Irony
So, what caption do we think this would have as a Pluggers? “When a Plugger gets together with old friends” or “A Plugger romantic walk”?
Shoe – That sly look isn’t flirtatious. That sly look means, “And I’m the one who put them there.”
Note: Since Comics Kingdom doesn’t run a new Don Abundio on Sundays, I’ve been reaching back into the archives for older ones on Sundays. Today’s Don Abundio is a repeat of the one I did last Sunday, and it looks like future ones for a while will continue to be repeats of ones I’ve already done. So, for now I will be going backwards through even older ones from the archives. Confused? So am I! But I’m pretty sure I haven’t done this one before.
Don Abundio, translated:
“I’ll give you a ride home, Flora”
“Thanks, boss”
“You pay me well to wear mini-skirts, even in winter…”
“But you won’t have as much to look at if I freeze my ass off!”
MW- While desperately seeking Tommy, little does Dawn know that he’s hiding in Mary’s garden. He blends right in with the rest of the vegetables .
Retirement homes have an STI problem because it turns out that elderly people still like to have sex, and I assume the Luann creative team started opening up to the subject when they discovered that old folks are horny humans too. I don’t think any of us are ready though for Phil explaining to Luann how they need an extra bed for swinging.
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Retirement homes have an STI problem because it turns out that elderly people still like to have sex, but sometimes they get confused and think that everyone under 60 is goth. Roz is wearing green and yellow, dude! She doesn’t want to have cemetery sex!
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Retirement homes have an STI problem because it turns out that elderly people still like to have sex. This has nothing to do with Archie, but something has to take my mind off how angry it’s making me. Not only for the reasons Josh laid out, but what tired Old Man Andrews out so much? His son is a teen, so it’s not like he’s going to be a rambunctious handful. Maybe a little moody, but it’s well established that he’s only an asshole when it comes to being non-committal in his relationships with Betty and Veronica. Other than that, he’s a good kid. Mary has never been shown to be a Loretta Lockhorn type who drags her husband to events he has no interest in. So he needs a rest from what?!? I would accept this attempt at a punchline from Hank Mitchell or Bil Keane because of the established family dynamics, but not here.
MW – And the boss goes, “What’s the matter with Tommy?”
Dawn goes, “There’s nothing wrong, sir”
He goes, “Don’t tell me that, he’s on drugs!”
Dawn goes, “No, sir, he’s not on drugs, he’s okay, he’s just thinking, you know? Why don’t you get me a Pepsi?”
He goes, “No, he’s on drugs!!”
Dawn goes, “Sir, just get me a Pepsi, please? All I want is a Pepsi.”
And he wouldn’t give it to her!
GT: Join us Monday when new bride Beth bails Gil out of the Milford jail.
Gil Thorp: We can pretend that Coach Gerads snuck into the wedding for narrative purposes if it moves the story forward (it won’t), but to make this strip vaguely plausible, I have to actively suspend my disbelief in ways hitherto unimagined.
If anyone with eyes sees that hair metal ponytail and doesn’t think, “Oh no, Coach Gerads,” they deserve whatever’s coming to them.
Archie: I just assumed the joke was that, out on an empty road, Fred has the shits and is desperate for a rest stop or restroom, but is looking for an even more gentle euphemism than either of those.
Mutt & Jeff – “I am Elmer J. Fudd, millionaire. I own a mansion and a yacht.”