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Mary Worth, 3/8/26

Five years ago, Mary tried to broach the question of whether Estelle was being grifted rather gingerly. With Harvey, she’s being somewhat more direct, and it immediately blew up in her face, though maybe that’s just his masculine pride kicking in and driving him to comically storm out of the room. It’s just like beloved [note to self: look up what kind of job “B.C. Forbes” has held or what sort of person they are before publishing this post and insert description here] “B.C. Forbes” says: if you don’t have your life savings drained every few years or so by a Cambodian-based criminal syndicate, you were leaving legitimate opportunities to have sex with hot babes much younger than you on the table!

Shoe, 3/8/26

I know, I know this is a perennial gripe of mine, but: You absolutely cannot do whimsical jokes about birds in a comic strip where everyone is a bird. This is a joke about a number of these characters’ peers committing violent, awful suicide! It’s pretty believable that they’d do it, since all the bird-people in this strip are very depressed, and with good reason, since they live in a world dominated by sapient birds where nevertheless KFC is a viable business.

Panel from Slylock Fox, 3/8/26

Now, this strip? Where Slylock Fox, a sapient animal cop in a world dominated by sapient animals, is providing enhanced security to a wealthy and influential sapient animal who is fairly obviously wearing a fur coat? That doesn’t make me mad at all. That’s just how the world works. That’s a mystery that kids need to learn how to solve a lot more than anything about gloves and how people won’t pick up just one lying there by itself no matter how lovely it is.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/7/26

Look, normally when an employer is reluctant to tell you his last name, that’s a red flag. But in this case, it’s just because he’s desperate to get someone working as a waitress because the notoriously sketchy Mud Mountain Murphy demands human companionship along with his food, which is honestly a much, much bigger red flag.

Blondie, 3/7/26

I continue to believe that Blondie is America’s most important window into the Boomer mindset, and what it reveals is that the Boomers love setting their phones on speaker and yelling into them more than anything. For once, Blondie’s weird rictus facial expression is actually kind of appropriate here. “Are you talking on speaker to a wrong number while I’m reading? Do I have that right? Is that happening right now?”

Gil Thorp, 3/7/26

Big news, everyone! Mimi has decided to not marry her girlfriend. Instead, she’s just going to get all her romantic and sexual satisfaction out of watching her ex-husband screw up. Oh, is Gil’s mother being a pain? Not Mimi’s problem anymore, and she’s loving it.

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Everyone out there in real America is waiting for their comment of the week. And at last, it’s arrived!

“I feel like the weird, scraggly speech bubble from Luann’s Dad is supposed to be some cute little visual gag indicating that he’s about to go on some deranged slut-shaming rant about his wife’s sexual history. But I prefer to read it as him experiencing a massive stroke while his family is too stupid to notice.” –ectojazzmage

The runners up are also here, and very funny!

“Where is Glenwood, you ask? Glenwood is where men are men and are named Truck, Buck, and Mud, little missy.” –MKay

“I’d like to think that that last panel is completely unrelated to the main plot. No, it’s just a reminder that while this inane conversation is going on, there is real suffering out there in the world. Really puts it all in perspective.” –pugfuggly

“I dunno, Mud, it’s like the wall itself rejected your picture. And with extreme prejudice, too!” –Joe Blevins

“If only Barney Google could have warned him: Never get involved in a land war in Asia and never introduce hillbillies into your comic strip.” –Where’s Rocky?

“Brad may be overstating his case as usual, but he does have significantly more hair than he did a few years back. That counts as a monumental achievement in the world of Luann.” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

“Neither of those are sentences. Look, I’m not normally pedantic about this kind of thing but you guys set up the rules for yourselves. I’ll accept that Luann’s mom considers ‘lover’ a legitimate phase in her career path. There’s obviously a lot we don’t know about her past — there’s a lot Luann’s dad doesn’t know about Luann’s mom’s past — and this could be a fun narrative framing device for that kind of reveal. But give us a goddamn verb.” –Stuart F

“You’re a plugger if a lifetime of working with your hands has turned them into twisted claws, which can barely use a touch-screen phone.” –Guts Dozier

“I call foul on Pluggers, they would never use A.I., or a smartphone, or go shopping with their wives.” –The Rambling Otter

“Not just oceans apart, Mary, but worlds apart! Goleta, California, is a real city in the real world, and Sharon has chosen to live there, away from the wholly imaginary Santa Royale, its dysfunctional denizens, and her thoroughly deluded dad. Leave her alone!” –Charterstone: Dune

“There’s so much going on here I can’t begin to figure it out. Why is he smiling while she’s grimacing? Why does she then smile while he grimaces? And are those pool cues in the background? I can accept that they both lost a bet on a pool match. The world of Mother Goose And Grimm is one where there are no winners.” –Spunky The Wonder Squid

“Toby thinks ‘Maybe if I look to the right, Mary won’t know that I am secretly loving this!’ and Mary thinks, ‘Maybe if I look to the left, Toby won’t know that I’m secretly loving this!’” –TK

“Enough with the time out jokes! Let’s talk about how everyone in this strip has a supremely weird right ear!” –Ettorre

“‘Go out there and show them what you’re made of.’ ‘But, coach, we want to win!’” –But What Do I Know?

“Is it possible they could get married and incorporate? What kind of execrable wordplay could Ed make out of that? The possibilities make me tingle.” –Scratchy Scrotum LXIX

“This would be a great joke if there had been literally any mention of internet payment in the previous panel. Otherwise it’s just ‘Crankshaft pronounces Paul with a slightly more fronted mid-open vowel sound.’” –Schroduck

“While everyone else is smiling wryly, Crankshaft is angry. They did Peter so dirty!” –matt w

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