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Blondie, 8/20/25

Blondie generally has its finger on the pulse of what old people are doing on the computer, which is why I’m a little disappointed to see that they’re fobbing off AI psychosis onto the kids today. Are the kids today forming unhealthy relationships with ChatGPT and its ilk? Sure, but it turns out that old people are also getting into the “convincing myself the robot is a pretty lady and she wants to have sex with me” game, with tragic results. Anyway, Cookie’s statement that not only do she and her friends talk to chatbots but that “it also talks back to them” is aggressively uncanny, it makes me feel like someone is trying too hard to convince us about their ignorance of this subject. “Ha ha, the chatbot talks back to you? What will they think of next? Will it be a sexy anime girl AI? Uh, I mean, that’s what I heard, from other kids.”

Dennis the Menace, 8/20/25

Gotta love how depressed both Henry and his guest look here. “Huh,” Mr. Holt is thinking in panel one, “I thought Henry liked me. I thought inviting me over here was the start of us becoming real friends, but he’s shit-talking me to his kid so I guess not.” Meanwhile, Henry in panel two is wracked by self-loathing. “Why did I say that? I never meant to hurt his feelings. Now he thinks I’m a petty gossip. I’m a fool!” Menace fucking accomplished, is what I’m saying.

Intelligent Life, 8/20/25

The syndicated newspaper comic strip Intelligent Life is usually about incredibly surface-level takes on geek media and culture. But what if instead it did the most generic jokes possible about office politics and “sales” or whatever? Would that be even less interesting? “Yes,” says everyone who’s read today’s strip.

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Gil Thorp, 8/19/25

When Gil says he’s “trying not to take it personally” that his ex wife is now “play[ing] for the other side,” you probably think he’s referring to the fact that his wife left him for her female golf coach, but that’s old news: in fact, she’s going to be coaching for the other side, by which I mean she’s taken the job of athletic director at hated Milford rival Valley Tech. Anyway, more important question: what’s happening on top of Kaz’s head? Is that a man bun, or some kind of fascinator attached to his hairband? The strip colorist seems to be refusing to grapple with this and is trying very hard to make whatever it is blend into the background.

Andy Capp, 8/19/25

This is definitely a curious sequence of events, as in the first panel Andy is walking along a very broad canalside path, so spacious that the canal isn’t even visible in the frame, and yet in the very next panel, one word’s worth of lyrics later, he has tumbled into the drink. My theory: despite the fact that we see Andy in that first panel, we are actually meant to understand that we’re seeing things from Andy’s drunken perspective, in which he has infinite space to meander back and forth as he likes. Sadly, in panel two, hard physical reality intervenes.

Hi and Lois, 8/19/25

Wow, I guess Trixie died? Or is no longer a baby? Or Hi and Lois have realized that Sunbeam really is her best friend, and is perfectly capable of looking after her, so they no longer need to take such a hands-on parenting approach? Any of those developments honestly would merit further exploration, though I guess it’s also interesting that Irma thinks she’s finally going to catch Thirsty jerking off on camera but actually she’s just going to see him crying quietly to himself.

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Folks! I am back from my vacation, I am tanned, rested, and ready, and I am diving back into that most beloved of all artistic mediums: the daily comics! Big thanks to Uncle Lumpy, and Turtle Carl, and everyone who contributed to the summer fundraiser (you’ll all be getting personal thank-yous soon), but for now I must dedicate my energy to urgent, pressing matters, like what’s going on in the Flagston marriage:

Hi and Lois, 8/18/25

I guess what’s going on in the Flagston marriage is that it’s crying for help! “Fix me!” screams every object in the home Hi and Lois built together, at Lois’s command. “Please!” Ha ha, just kidding, this is about chores or whatever, it’s definitely not a metaphor for anything.

Slylock Fox, 8/18/25

You know who can’t scream anymore, though? That fish, whose skeleton, picked clean, is lying in the middle of Slylock’s crime scene. Hey, did you know that some species of shrew eat small fish? Just thought that was a fun fact. I’m sure Shady’s transparent lies about the disruption of a sand sculpture contest — exactly the sort of thing that we know catches Slylock’s attention — are just his usual clumsy attempts to exonerate himself, and not a distraction from a much more monstrous crime.

Mother Goose and Grimm, 8/18/25

Since I often criticize syndicate colorists on here, I have to compliment whoever it was that made Ma Goose’s little breath clouds that particularly unpleasant shade of brown, which does a much better job of conveying how vile her morning breath is than the clichéd writing of the joke. Comics: occasionally remembering that they are, in fact, a visual medium!

Judge Parker, 8/18/25

Good news: Ever since a series of embarrassing Senate hearings in 1976, the CIA has “strongly discouraged” its agents from murdering children. Bad news: Well, I guess the second panel here has already established what the bad news is, ha ha!