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Mark Trail, 3/5/11

Like classic James Bond films, each recent Mark Trail episode one-ups its predecessor with a more exotic location, nastier villain, and hotter babe. Lost Forest, deer-kickin’ Frank Johnson, and Cherry gave way to glamorous Sea Breeze Fishing Camp, stylishly sinister Ben Smith, and sultry Kelly Welly, only to be topped by the azure vistas of Balmy Palmy Isle, our mysterious — yet somehow fabulous — paranoid druglord, and Ms. Hotsie Highwaist here.

Where will it end, this relentless upward spiral of scenery, villainy, and babery? I suspect on the Moon, with Mark savagely beating Kim Jong-Il while remaining strangely indifferent to the charms of Olivia Wilde or somebody. Because Mark can best any villain anywhere, but he shrinks from female contact, as shown in panel two.

Mary Worth, 3/5/11

Driven mad by the Internet, Dawn Weston seeks comfort from her only true friend — that pregnant lady from her Dad’s eating-disorders support group who moved to Charterstone after her retirement and divorce last October. Aaack!

Marmaduke, 3/5/11

From the look of the leftovers, Marmaduke has eaten several sports teams, Mary Poppins, a NASCAR pit crew, neighbor Snyder, and the cop sent to investigate.

Spider-Man, 3/5/11

Yes, vampirism — the only possible explanation! Because seriously — it’s 4:45, and why else would Peter miss The View?

See how quickly Mary Jane rejects the obvious “My husband is a worthless layabout!” in favor of the dramatic “My husband has been overcome by the forces of darkness!” Acting has really honed her denial skills.

Hi! I’m sitting in this week while Josh is on vacation. If you have any site or comment trouble, contact me at uncle.lumpy@comcast.net. Email sent to bio@jfruh.com will still get to Josh, but he won’t read it, because, you know, vacation.

— Uncle Lumpy

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Brewster Rockit, 9/27/10

Brewster Rockit stumbles onto The Comics Curmudgeon‘s core concept. Ooh! Look at the tiny pictures getting all smartass.

Mark Trail, 9/27/10

Cherry daydreams, watching Mark overcompensate. Explains a lot, really. Dude, just buy a bigass gun and crash Frank’s party.

Mary Worth, 9/27/10

Why hello, Dr. Cory, Mrs. Worth; how very nice to see you again, and I’m pleased to see you both looking so well. Please accept my apologies for those terrible things I said during your last visit — I’ve learned a valuable lesson, and assure you it won’t happen again. I’ve been thinking about you quite often over the past few — my goodness, has it only been weeks? Let me just say I hope you’re planning a nice long stay. What, Jenna and Mike? Oh, let’s put all that behind us, shall we? Please? I’ll beg if you want!

Mandrake the Magician, 9/27/10

If you like The Phantom, Lee Falk’s other, daily-only adventure strip is worth a look. The loose line and saturated color take some getting used to, but Phantom fans will feel right at home with the quick pace and deep back-story.

Here, Mandrake responds to a call from policewoman Millie there, about strange doings in rustic Timber Lake: a terrified populace, unexplained blackouts, the sudden appearance of a giant bat, an uncooperative police captain, and a mysterious prisoner who claims to know Mandrake. It’s not on the mighty Chron, but you can find it at the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel, also worth bookmarking as a source for large-format comics from King Features.

Apartment 3-G, 9/27/10

Shear and soften one starchy, buttoned-up cauldron of sexual fury and another claims her throne. Behold Apartment 3-G: The Dawn of Doris!

Hey, I’m outta here — thanks, everybody, for a fun week! Look for Josh’s triumphant return with Comments of the Week on Monday. Enjoy!

— Uncle Lumpy

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Curtis, 9/26/10

Curtis shackles its artist’s powerful, primitive vision and impeccable draftsmanship to the well-thumbed sheaf of stock narratives the world expects from a genre strip. Hey, it’s a living. But art will out! The strip slips its narrative fetters once a year for Kwanzaa, and once in a while for its title character’s superhero fantasies.

There’s so much to love here: the spandex mask rising to wrap SuperCaptainCoolMan’s improbable coiffure, the villain’s breakfast, mustache, and pince-nez, the allusion to confusing and unspeakable prison sex, “…you evil but stupid genius”, and that implacable wall o’ mammoth. But best of all, the electric elephant stinkeye at the climax, and “ZORGG.” A worthy successor to QLUNQ! HA HA HA WHINNY!

Then back to earth for a tired “principal’s office” joke — and maybe Derrick and “Onion” waiting in the hall? The nicest trips end far too soon.

Mark Trail, 9/26/10

Mark’s part-time gig with the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration has slowly but completely corrupted his principles as an Outdoor Journalist. No longer does he implore readers to “Enjoy Nature” — no, now it’s all, “Stay away from the terrifying outdoors, where you will die from the flash floods and the lightning and the tornadoes and the tsunamis and the flying squid.” And shilling weather radios so people can stay inside and entertain themselves by scaring the dog.

“EEEEEEE!”

Brenda Starr, 9/26/10

No sound effects here but the pitapat of my fanboy heart. Brenda Starr is looking into the Pokeville hometown background of Tap Fitzpatrick, the flamboyant DA falsely (she thinks) accused of the murder of TV host Felicity Fox (no, not her). Pokeville has its secrets, at least one of whom is driving that Hummer that nearly ran over Brenda’s Mustang. But most of the town’s action is at Joe’s One Stop, Pokeville’s Jack Ass Acres, where you can get anything you want from the resident gap-toothed androgyne and owner of Bullseye the Dog — except information.

O Brenda Starr, how do I love thee?

1. Crisp, hard-edged modern drawing by artist June Brigman — retaining the trademark eye-sparkles of Dale Messick’s loopy-girly style.
2. People smoke, yet the strip is not about their smoking (see, Curtis?).
3. Intelligent background jokes — “Live Bait! Tanning!”
4. Timely material — Hummers, Mustangs, bloggers, prescription drug abuse, the decline of print journalism.
5. Author Mary Schmich, renaissance woman and (dare I hope?) future hyphenated spouse of former Baltimore Mayor Kurt Schmoke.
6. Brenda Starr kicks ass!

Pluggers, 9/26/10

The essence of Pluggers. Except for the color, which seems way too upscale, and anyway should have leached out decades ago.

— Uncle Lumpy