Archive: Alice

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Dennis the Menace, 8/14/24

Despite the fact that she’s a long-running fixture in a 73-year-old comic strip, I don’t think Margaret has a particularly consistent set of characterizations — she’s usually whatever she needs to be in the “vaguely prissy” range to annoy Dennis — but today’s panel honestly feels tonally off to me. I don’t buy that she would be expressing overt jealousy of Taylor Swift, and I don’t buy that she would just call her “Swift.” (I also don’t buy that as a drawing of Taylor Swift, but that’s neither here nor there.) Dennis in his interactions with Margaret similarly seems to take on whatever qualities are necessary to antagonize her, but I am intrigued by the implication that he’s set off Margaret’s rant because he’s such a dedicated Swiftie.

Gil Thorp, 8/14/24

Traditionally we have been treated to Gil Thorp’s thrice-annual ritual recitation of the names, so we can all pretend to know who the players are as their season develops. But in this new fast-paced era, the kids just get little floating labels instead. I’m particularly intrigued by “Torch,” who I assume is an X-Men-style mutant who has the power to control fire, or possibly just a notorious arsonist. Either way, seems like an exciting football season is ahead of us!

Alice, 8/14/24

A lot of middling comics could do a strip where two people talk about how modern appliances today have too many features and none of them work right, hur hur hur. But to have two people talking about how modern appliances today have too many features and none of them work right, while said appliance sits between the two people and makes direct and coquettish eye contact with the audience, with its weird creepy face? That’s the deranged Alice difference that keeps me coming back.

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Alice, 8/7/24

The thing is that your boy Josh came down with COVID-19 last weekend, and while I am currently on the mend it made my brain a little loopy this week (this Alice strip is here to show you what it was like inside my skull for a while) and also apparently interfered with my ability to operate the ol’ time travel machine. This meant I posted Thursday’s strips on Wednesday and (briefly) posted tomorrow’s (Friday’s) strips Thursday (the day on which I am writing this Wednesday post). Ooops! I’ve corrected the dates on everything on the site (so it goes in the right order), but here’s a short Wednesday post, for completeness!

Dennis the Menace, 8/7/24

Sure, Mr. Wilson, I get it. There are lots of times when I think up a joke, but doing it right involves figuring out some specific pieces of information, like “What’s a typical amount that a child Dennis’s age weighs” and “Wait, how old is Dennis supposed to be, actually,” and then I just don’t bother. This is frankly the most relatable this man has ever been to me.

Beetle Bailey and Hi and Lois, 8/7/24

Oh no, Walker-Browne Amalgamated Humor Industries LLC has learned what “influencers” are and will be making jokes about them, code red code red

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Crock, 7/15/24

Ah, just another day in the French Maghreb, with a difficult march ahead for our Legionnaires, though at least they have a promise from their commanders that they’ll be cared for this time … but wait, what’s this? A white flag of surrender flying above the fort? Ominous! Presumably the stragglers will not be left by the wayside because there simply will be no stragglers: most of the men will summarily executed en masse by the insurgents of the liberation army, while Crock and the other the officers, having made a deal to save their own skin, slip through enemy lines back to heavily fortified Oran or Algiers. Don’t worry, my vulture friends, your cravings will be satisfied indeed!

Hi and Lois, 7/15/24

Ha ha, that was kind of a downer, sorry! Anyway, chores, amiright? You gotta do ’em? I do like that Lois is holding a laundry basket here; she’s not a nag, she’s just someone willing to shoulder her share of domestic labor, and she wants to make sure everybody else does, too.

Alice, 7/15/24

Look, I’m a big fan of 20th century novelist Kurt Vonnegut, but he was not a doctor and also he’s dead, so I would simply not seek medical advice from him. Of course, I also wouldn’t trust him to prescribe medication to my parrot, so I supposed it’s been well established that Alice and I are on different wavelengths in this regard.