Post Content

Family Circus, 5/25/09

As several faithful readers have pointed out, this epic two-week “The Family Circus family sells off their household belongings in order to feed their litter of children” plot is a rerun from decades past, though I hadn’t seen it before. I’m pretty sure I’d have remembered it if I had, because I’m pretty sure this is the first time that I’ve seen some sexy interloper put the Keane’s rock-solid and extremely fecund marriage in jeopardy. I’d make some crack about “pole dancing,” but this blonde bombshell looks less like a stripper and more like some kind of pretty princess doll magically brought to life, which to my mind is much, much creepier.

Dick Tracy, 5/25/09

You know what separates Dick Tracy from your run-of-the-mill out-of-control cop who operates above the law and kills perps, suspected perps, and those standing in close proximity to suspected perps with impunity? It’s his philosophical turn of mind. For instance, if someone had asked me what did in the Queen of Diamonds, I’d have said that it was some combination of suffocation and massive third-degree burns all over her body after she fell into a smokestack. But Tracy is never satisfied with proximate causes, and is always looking for the deeper origins of events. I suppose that’s what makes him such a great detective — that and his propensity for violence and lack of a shred of human empathy.

By the way, I offer half-hearted kudos for linking that Queen of Diamonds plot to the current One-Eyed Jack storyline. I’m relieved to learn that, though the tendency for criminals to run around dressed as playing cards is rampant in the Dick Tracy universe, it appears to be limited to a single family.

Spider-Man, 5/25/09

I knew that the recent Wolverine flick didn’t perform at the box office as well as had been hoped, but does he really merit banishment to the Spider-Man newspaper strip? That seems like an extreme punishment.

Apartment 3-G, 5/25/09

“Wait, you want me to help you make a decision? Gary, don’t you know who I am? I’m Tommie Thompson! I don’t decide things; I just let events happen to me, then I whine about it. Here, I’m going to close my eyes until you’ve decided whether to move to Denver or not. Then I’m going to sigh endlessly.”

Post Content

Spider-Man, 5/24/09

Hey, remember how newspaper Spidey used to be married to Mary Jane, but then a enormous wall of text told us that he wasn’t anymore, because we had gone back in time to his single college days? Well, it’s not even six months later and apparently we’re done with that. This is fully in keeping with the overall milieu of the strip, in which anything can happen at any time because whatever.

I do note with some amusement Peter’s shock in panel two about getting married without gainful employment, since much of the “drama” of the pre-time-jump strip revolved around Peter whining endlessly about how his underemployment made him less of a man. I guess they got hitched even without him having a steady job, proving that the best way to overcome obstacles in this life is to lower your standards.

Mary Worth, 5/23/09

All this jawing is leading me to believe that this storyline will, against all odds, have a happy ending after all: Dr. Jeff’s adolescent crush, to whom he never dared reveal his feelings, has returned in the shape of the man’s handsome young son! Now, in a more enlightened age, their love can finally be expressed. As added bonuses, Mary will have her heart broken lose control of her current whipping boy, and Adrian will once again be permitted to chose her own romantic partner (which will ultimately lead to her kidneys being stolen and sold on the black market, but that’s a small price to pay).

9 Chickweed Lane and Apartment 3-G, 5/23/09

These two strips are stacked pretty much right on top of each other on my Chron page, so naturally my assumption upon reading them was that Gary was pregnant.

Post Content

Panels from Apartment 3-G and Crankshaft, 5/21/09

Just as I am, in a larger sense, kind of in love with Margo, I’m also more specifically in love with her facial expression in this panel. She’s doing the head-bobble that A3G characters are contractually obligated to do when presented with surprising information, though you’ll notice that she’s upped the degree of difficulty by attempting an asymmetrical semi-bobble. But despite the bobble, her face still shows her mingled boredom and contempt. It’s as if she’s acknowledging the fact that she’s just now learning her parents have been making nice with each other behind her back, but she still wants to make it clear that this doesn’t change her opinion that love is dull and gross and so are they.

Meanwhile, the facial expressions in today’s Crankshaft would lead you to believe that you’re seeing the end game in a hate-filled, Lockhorns-style marriage of mutual emotional violence, in which one partner has finally managed to cross the line and say something completely unforgivable. You aren’t, though! They’re characters in Crankshaft, is all, so they just look like that all the time.

Marvin, 5/21/09

You know what’s a million times worse than Gil Thorp plots about YouTube? Marvin plots about YouTube.

You know what’s a million times worse than Marvin plots about YouTube? Marvin plots about YouTube that involve YouTube videos of Marvin running around with his penis flapping about.

Mary Worth, 5/21/09

“Certainly nobody whose father I knew years ago could possibly ever be a bad man! Here, take my daughter, and a list of her credit card and bank account numbers!”

Marmaduke, 5/21/09

“Also, someone in the house has a face that’s melting off the front of her skull!”