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Dick Tracy, 3/20/13

Sure, Dick Tracy isn’t in favor of puzzle-fixated weirdos robbing the Ren Faire in broad daylight and otherwise hassling the law-abiding citizens of his fair city. But there’s always a bright side to everything! For instance, since The Daily pays a syndicate to run the Jumbler’s daily puzzle, Dick and Sam are well within their legal rights to march down to the newspaper office, smash up all the computers with billy clubs, and then dynamite the presses. This will prevent this criminal from making any further profit from his sinister Jumbles, and if in the process it stops the liberal media from running constant biased crybaby stories about an out-of-control police force running roughshod over due process, well, that’s just an added bonus.

Mark Trail, 3/20/13

Yes, Rod Bassy’s van will be very difficult to find among the literally tens of vehicles parked in this tiny fishing hamlet, considering his name is pained on the side in giant letters and all. Still, it’s fun to watch Mark and Bluegill work themselves up into a frenzy imagining the vigilante violence they’ll perpetrate to cover up their joy at Rusty’s demise.

Apartment 3-G, 3/20/13

My mistake! I thought this guy’s thing was that he hit on emotionally vulnerable war widows, but it turns out he just likes to drop his pants and wave his dick at them.

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Apartment 3-G, 3/19/13

It seems cruel to leave Lu Ann just standing there crying a single noble tear and sobbing monosyllabically, but since some kindly off-panel person is about to console her, we can instead turn our attention to some exciting retro-continuity! Something you may not know: there was an Apartment 3-G storyline in the ’60s in which Lu Ann got married to Gary Powers, only to be quickly widowed when the young man was shot down over Vietnam. Gary came up a year and a half ago in the course of her engagement to Paul, at which point their marriage was put “seven years ago,” and now while it’s hard to read that tombstone’s death date he definitely appears to have died too young in the mid-’00s, presumably in one of our more recent wars. What’s the motivation for giving Lu Ann closure now? Would it be to help her finally find true love for real? Possibly with some nice older gentleman who haunts Arlington Cemetery, comforting war widows, in one of the creepiest meet-cutes in history?

Spider-Man, 3/19/13

It turns out Daredevil told Spider-Man to see Matt Murdoch just so that the two of them would learn each other’s secret identities! Is this how superheroes make friends? It seems a little forced.

Mark Trail, 3/19/13

It’s lucky for Rod Bassy and Catfish that there isn’t anyone within shouting distance, because that gag appears to just be kind of lightly resting on Rusty’s mouth and not actually preventing him in any way from talking. Since they’re planning on leaving him alone soon, I guess we’ll find out if they’re any better at tying knots!

Gil Thorp, 3/19/13

BASEBALL SEASON STORYLINE IS HERE EVERYBODY! It looks like as usual Gil Thorp will present a plot about high school athletics torn from the headlines: the dangers of kids playing non-contact sports suffering concussions when they slip on ice weeks before the season even starts.

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Spider-Man, 3/15/13

Great things are happening over at Kingpin Laboratories! Under the inspiring guidance of the company CEO, Kingpin researchers are producing breathtaking innovations in neuroscience — with potentially profitable real-world implications! Meanwhile, across town, a freelance photographer manages, with some effort, to remember the name of a lawyer.

Blondie, 3/15/13

So it turns out that Dagwood’s inability to understand basic finance is just a symptom of his retreat into magical thinking when confronted with scarcity of any sort.

Ziggy, 3/15/13

Scram, Ziggy! Rats want to use your house for fucking!

Apartment 3-G, 3/15/13

Wow, darkness is falling on the city … pretty abruptly there, huh? I mean, in panel one it looks to be about mid-afternoon and then Margo expresses affection for another human and then an inky eternal shadow descends over new york, there is no escape and it is so so cold

Family Circus, 3/15/13

“All this suburban bourgeois bullshit that you think is important? It’s like you’re smothering my soul with a pillow! Just thought I’d let you know.”

Wizard of Id, 3/15/13

Ha ha, it’s funny because the dragon likes to eat his own poop!