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Dennis the Menace, 11/14/15

Obviously I knew that Dennis hates vegetables. The word is always written as “veg-tables” in the Dennis the Menace captions, by the way, which drives me absolutely nuts. What is this even supposed to represent? That he pronounces the word as three syllables, rather than four, which is as far as I know perfectly acceptable American English? Is that supposed to be menacing? Ugh! Anyway, it’s obviously not half as menacing as Dennis’s apparent rejection of all non-processed food products. What could be more menacing than watching your son slurp down Soylent meal after meal, his teeth and tongue slowly withering away as it becomes clear that they’re unnecessary, to be replaced by some awful, insectoid proboscis?

Apartment 3-G, 11/14/15

Wait, he’s talking about Tibet, right? Tibet has its problems, but it’s a perfectly nice place. Way to show your Tibetophobia, Tommie.

Mark Trail, 11/14/15

Just keeping you updated on the Trailian fisticuffs! Lotsa punching going on. Let’s focus on that and not Ken’s leg apparently phasing right through the solid matter of the bad guy’s arm in panel two. Very disturbing, the thought that Mississippi Ken might not be bound by the same laws of time and space as we are. Let’s not dwell on it. Ha ha, punching!

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 11/14/15

Thanks to this comic, “do snakes fuck” is now forever part of my Google search history. Thanks, comics!

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Apartment 3-G, 11/12/15

Welp, looks like now that ol’ Greg is riding into town with his James Bond money, Eric realizes he can’t compete in terms of providing Margo with all she ever wanted, and so he’s out. He and Greg aren’t even going to talk to each other! Because if there’s one thing we all wanted as this storied strip rides into the sunset, it’s a complete lack of conflict of any kind.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 11/12/15

If you need more evidence of how desperately poor Hootin’ Holler is, check out today’s strip, in which the community’s chief law enforcement officer can be bribed for a mere $5.

Hi and Lois, 11/12/15

“Don’t be ridiculous! Now you just lie immobilized in bed and look at these huge blank posters I’ve hung around your room until your mind goes empty.”

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 11/8/15

Fun news! The current creative team behind Barney Google and Snuffy Smith has decided to dip into the strip’s long history and bring us a long-forgotten character: Granny Creeps, a black-clad crone who lives in a cave and performs mountain folk magic for community residents. This might give rise to intriguing plotlines about the very deep persistence of pre-Christian belief systems in rural, isolated communities, but as the punchline of today’s strip makes clear, Granny Creeps is as much a grifter and fraud as Hootin’ Holler’s supposed champion of monotheism.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/8/15

Hooray! Milton Avery, who is in fact ill, with debilitating dementia, of the sort that would prevent him from running a company, has managed to hold it together for the length of a board meeting, so he and his wife, who has no professional background in aerospace or spy satellites or lenses or whatever it is this company does, will continue to run it, rather than this nice Indian man who probably has some interesting ideas about new directions for the company and would at least carry on the tradition of cricket fandom in the corporate boardroom. Along the way, Milton has publicly humiliated his son, who has done nothing throughout this process but tell the truth about his father’s increasing incapacity and look out for the best interest of the company’s shareholders. Haha, remember Hugh’s last storyline, when everyone tried to gaslight him when he realized they were, in actuality, conspiring against him? Remember how his dad has been a monster to him for his entire life? Remember how he’s the bad guy in this storyline, for some reason?

Six Chix, 11/8/15

hey lady

EVERYONE CAN SEE AND HEAR YOU, NOT JUST THE DRONE