Post Content

Blondie, 1/17/24

I gotta say, “In honor of Kid Inventors Day, I created an alarm clock app that doesn’t work” is probably the funniest sentence I’ve ever read in Blondie, and I’ve read Blondie more or less every day for the bulk of my life. Anyway, it’s all downhill from there, and I honestly wouldn’t bother reading the rest of the strip if I were you.

Dennis the Menace, 1/17/24

Dennis has learned to draw a distinction between basic reactive pleasures and the higher-level emotion of pride, which derives from pleasing other people he respects or society at large. Not sure if that’s menacing or not. Guess it probably is, given today’s evidence of how he’s making sense of his own complex emotional landscape.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 1/17/24

Anyone else accidentally read that final word balloon as “th’ noose awaits !!” at first? No? Just me? Just me fantasizing that King Features is about to end its longest running strip in the most shocking way imaginable?

Beetle Bailey, 1/17/24

Wow, Beetle Bailey has portrayed an actually relatively recent trend — movie theaters with big reclining seats! Don’t worry, nobody on the Walker-Browne Amalgamated Humor Industries LLC staff has actually been to one of these places, but a friend of theirs had it described to them by one of their grandkids, so they’re pretty sure they have a good idea of what one probably looks like.

Post Content

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 12/24/23

I guess real Snuffheads like you and me don’t need reminding, but the point of the throwaway panels at the top of this strip is to emphasize that the Smifs live in grinding, generational poverty, which might explain why Snuffy gives a little joke as a gift to his old friend Barney Google. Without those throwaway panels? He just kinda looks like an asshole, not gonna lie.

Panels from Hagar the Horrible, 12/24/23

Speaking of assholes, the throwaway panels of Hagar the Horrible, makes it clear that Santa hates Hagar the Horrible. He simply despises him, for his many cookie-eating crimes!

Panel from Slylock Fox, 12/24/23

Meanwhile, Slylock is delighted that on Christmas Eve, to celebrate the birth of the Prince of Peace, his old nemesis Shady Shrew has arrived to enjoy the holiday blessings. He’s delighted because he’s about to throw cuffs on Shady right there in front of his … daughter? niece? … and drag him down to jail and book him. Justice doesn’t take a holiday, Shady!

But your humble Comics Curmudgeon does, in fact, take a holiday, and will be offline until January 1st or 2nd or whenever the mood strikes me to return from my Chrismukwaanza slumber. Relax with your loved ones and some eggnog, and then get ready for yet more comics mocking in 2024! See ya on the other side!

Post Content

Gasoline Alley, 12/22/23

OK, I may have to revise my previous statement of approval for Gasoline Alley’s wild, no-rules approach to the mall Santa game. Folks, the men (and occasional women) who put on the red suit and the fake beard are just doing their jobs, part of which involves the emotional labor of making everyone feel welcome and seen; do not take their openness towards you as an invitation to live out your longstanding sexual fantasy of making it with a thousand-year-old elf/nature spirit.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 12/22/23

If you need more proof that Parson Tuttle is a theologically unlearned fraud, consider the fact that anyone who decided that a lone cow was a perfectly acceptable substitute for a nativity scene probably hasn’t read Exodus 32.

Dennis the Menace, 12/22/23

You know I’m on a big kick lately about how the Lockhorns are millennials, but the truth is that today millennials are between 27 and 42, so probably most adult legacy comics characters, especially those with younger kids, are millennials. Anyway, Alice mostly ignoring her son’s Christmas-related whining by idly scrolling on her phone is a particularly millennial way to turn the menacing tables on him, in my opinion.

Mary Worth, 12/22/23

Sorry to obsess about Brad’s hat, but I’m clearly not the only one! Would he be less insufferable if he dropped the hat and let his hair free like God intended? Maybe! He could at least try it!