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Wizard of Id, 11/17/14

Happy 50th birthday, Wizard of Id! You’ve spent half a century churning out quasi-medieval whimsy to the delight of several, and show no signs of stopping, so by all means let your mildly beloved characters pause and take a bow. Many of today’s other strips also paid tribute to this testament of syndicated comics longevity!

Mother Goose and Grimm, 11/17/14

Mother Goose and Grimm decided to celebrate Wizard of Id’s penchant for using the literal torture of human beings as a punchline. I was going to say that torture was “a big part of the Wizard of Id brand” but that was a little uncomfortably on the nose.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 11/17/14

Looks like all this devilish wizardry in the newspaper is tempting Hootin’ Holler’s youth into lives of service to satan! This is what you get when the federal gummint overstretches its reach to outlaw local traditions like stoning blasphemers.

Family Circus, 11/17/14

The Family Circus rather ungraciously implies that the strip is best enjoyed by babies and other illiterates.

Blondie, 11/17/14

Meanwhile, Dagwood doesn’t even bother to acknowledge the cake-gratulations (I JUST INVENTED THAT, © AND ™ JOSH FRUHLINGER, DO NOT STEAL) this bakery is offering because he’s so focused on buying his wife precisely the gift that he wants to eat.

Hi and Lois, 11/17/14

Finally, the Wiz looms in the background in panel two here as some sort of pop art painting, as Chip realizes that his parents’ dysfunctional marriage will forever compromise his ability to love.

Some strips did bravely ignore this important industry anniversary, however:

Judge Parker, 11/17/14

Our heroes in Judge Parker have decided to hunker down and get as drunk as possible, in the hopes that once they sober up all their problems will have resolved themselves.

Funky Winkerbean, 11/17/14

And Funky Winkerbean promises that the next week will consist entirely of hardcore Bushka family sex scenes. Stay tuned!

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Apartment 3-G, 10/22/14

Oh, look, we’re revisiting the other key aspects of the Margo was and I guess still is a publicist storyline, which are that when Margo cruelly rejected Skyler as a potential client, Skyler was cast as the new Bond girl, in a James Bond movie, opposite Margo’s boyfriend, who was playing James Bond, one of the highest-profile movie roles in existence. Naturally she did such a lousy job as his publicist that her own roommates didn’t realize he’d landed the part, and his mom didn’t want to hang out with him on Christmas. Anyway, he went away to England to film the movie and then they … stopped dating? I guess? I guess Skyler is supposed to be gently ribbing Margo on this point — “I don’t have to tell you that, because you ‘worked with’ him, by which I mean your genitals ‘worked with’ his genitals, in a sex way.” I’m not sure if Margo is being haughtily sarcastic in panel two or has just genuinely forgotten what this plot was about. It was all a long time ago!

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 10/22/14

The tragic illiteracy of so many of Hootin’ Holler’s voters goes a long way towards explaining why the community is so poorly governed.

Pluggers, 10/22/14

Pluggers only make the same four recipes over and over again, because they fear change and anything that seems even vaguely exotic. They’re also going to die soon!

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Hi and Lois, 10/18/14

Hi and Lois wraps up its nostalgia week on a particularly grim note. “Remember when you used to be able to yell at people and make them do what you want, instead of just putting a credit card into a machine and seething with ambient, targetless rage?”

Mary Worth, 10/18/14

“Could all of these problems just go away if I just tricked her into marrying this distinguished- and not-too-cadaverous-looking pharmacist? Yes! His glasses aren’t that thick, so he can surely still drive safely! Mary, you’ve done it again!”

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 10/18/14

Ha ha, it’s funny because Loweezy’s only context for weaning her baby is her husband’s terrible experience with the DTs! “Yep, this impoverished community is blighted both by widespread alcohol abuse and a lack of education on early childhood development!” thinks the town’s only doctor, as he laughs and laughs.