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Marvin, 1/3/14

So when I returned from my Christmastime Journey and caught up on the comics I hadn’t been reading, I didn’t review all the comics. Marvin, for instance. I didn’t catch up on Marvin. Who cared exactly about which poo-stained antics I had missed? I was thus dropped into this midweek running gag without context, and assumed, since there were no other clues, that “Kiddie Coiffe,” a stand of some sort, was meant to be a Starbucks-style operation, with “coiffe” a whimsical misspelling for coffee. And even if I had known that this was coiffe as in coiffure, I would have supposed it was a li’l play hair salon or barber shop? But nope, they’re selling hair. Human hair, dog hair, you name it. Not enough to make a wig out of, mind you, just weird little patches, if the chunk taken out of Bitsy’s pelt is any indication. Haha, baby hair sales! Ha! So, congrats, Marvin: you’ve brought me to a place of profound discomfort that has me actively wishing for a return to poop jokes.

Dennis the Menace, 1/3/14

“Look dad, I know you don’t love me, and I don’t particularly want you to try, but I am going to make you tacitly admit it so that I can get what I want.” Oh man, Dennis’s menacing game is on point for 2014.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 1/3/14

“Haw haw, just kiddin’, Mama Smif! When I say ‘risky,’ I meant that givin’ birf in Hootin’ Holler is takin’ yer life in yer own hands, what with our hamlet’s poor sanitation and substandard med’cal care!”

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Mark Trail, 12/17/13

Holy crap, things are getting dark for our hero, who thought he was slickly and silently sneaking up on not-Jared Jeff to take his gun, only to get a roundhouse kick right to the face. It occurs to me: we all know that Mark is the implacable enemy of all forms of nonstandard facial and head-hair; but is it possible that, in facing a nemesis like not-Jared Jeff, who has no hair to speak of, he is powerless? Lost Forest’s criminal element has finally discovered that ultimate power was only a quick shave away all along!

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 12/17/13

Meanwhile, over in Hootin’ Holler, the Smith family is starving to death, what with the lack of economic opportunity in the region and Snuffy’s refusal to do any kind of paying work, forcing Loweezy to go door to door begging for sustenance from her almost as impoverished neighbors. This … this is not the hilarious hillbilly laughfest I ordered, guys :(

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 11/22/13

Jughaid has been spending a lot of time reading the “evil temptress” portions of the bible, which, to be fair, there are several to choose from!

Family Circus, 11/22/13

“I’m smilin’ right now, real smug-like, ’cause I’m super-convinced that hearin’ my voice will make you happy, and not, say, close your eyes and hold the bridge of your nose between your thumb and forefinger and sit very still for a few minutes.”

Dennis the Menace, 11/22/13

“You must be part fish, because my dad says you’re a real catch, and his browser history is full of hardcore mermaid porn!“