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Hagar the Horrible, 7/21/24

One of the many smarter-than-me commenters on this site pointed out that it’s actually pretty grim that Hagar and Eddie are the only recurring characters in Hagar’s war band. One assumes that the others are all killed off and replaced over time — sometimes one by one, and sometimes all at once in the disastrous encounters that presumably lead to the occasional desert island strips. Anyway, today’s strip is a good reminder that whenever your new boss tells you that their workplace is “like a big family,” you are definitely walking into the most dysfunctional company you’ve ever seen, but at least these days it’s usually not going to literally kill you.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 7/21/24

A combination of neoliberal ideology and deep-rooted Calvinism has made the modern United States a place uniquely obsessed with constant productivity. In such environments, only “holy fools” — like, say, the weirdly ossified early 20th century fake hillbilly stereotypes in a syndicated legacy newspaper strip — are free to proclaim that maybe laziness is good, actually, and getting things done isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/21/24

Sorry to find two funny things in a strip about an abusive father who beat his son so badly he needed surgery, but two very funny things in this strip are (a) Buck being completely flummoxed as to why two best friends with a love of old-timey-style comedy, one of whom is tall and thin and the other short and round, would refer to themselves as “Shorty and the Beanpole,” and (b) Rex being like “We all need to do our part. My part is fixing up the broken meat; minds and feelings are completely foreign to me and frankly somebody else’s problem.”

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Dick Tracy, 7/20/24

Loving the MCU gang’s expressions here. They are absolutely disgusted that Dick has decided to do a raid that conforms to the fourth amendment for once. What is this, liberal Commiefornia???

Pluggers, 7/20/24

If you came into this cold, you might think that Pluggers took place in a post-apocalyptic world where the roads were ruled by bandits or mutants after the sun goes down, leaving ordinary folk in a state of panic. But no! It’s just that pluggers are old and their eyesight is failing, and that makes them a danger to themselves and others when they drive.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 7/20/24

Ha ha! It’s funny because Doc Pritchart is considering unnecessarily slicing Snuffy open and rummaging around in his insides, as part of a Medicaid fraud scheme!

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 7/1/24

Obviously Snuffy Smith’s whole deal is that he doesn’t care about the greater good of the polity and routinely engages in lawbreaking and antisocial behavior, but I gotta say that this is a new low. Many Hootin’ Holler residents who enjoy a lazy day on the lake fishing from their little canoes — including Snuffy himself! — will now have their leisure disrupted by flatlanders zooming around in their big powerboats. And for what? Was this little joke so irresistible that he had to have the sign in his bedroom, and are his literacy and scrapwood-scavenging skills so lacking that he had to take the extremely nonprofessional looking sign down from the lake?

Dick Tracy, 7/1/24

Mr. Borden is being blackmailed by Mr. Gabriel in some way related to those those salacious pictures in a manila folder that were hinted at a couple of weeks ago. I’m impressed that today’s strip includes a shoutout to the famous album cover of Big Black’s “Songs About Being Blackmailed Over Salacious Pictures In A Manila Folder.”

Hi and Lois, 7/1/24

No you absolutely can not, kids! Something you did is what’s made her so upset in the first place!

Mary Worth, 7/1/24

Oh, silly Wilbur! Fish are innocents, incapable of sin, and you will not be meeting Stellan again in hell.