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Spider-Man, 7/14/11

Oh boy, this bespectacled lady wants to capture Spider-Man, in photographic form! This is delicious, because of course taking pictures of Spider-Man is, as far as I can make out, Peter Parker’s sole source of income. One of Newspaper Spider-Man’s least attractive qualities — and lord knows there are lots to choose from — is his continuing macho panic at the idea that his wife makes more money than he does, despite the fact that his wife is a successful actress and he’s a stringer working in the dying newspaper industry (and also a superhero, a role that you’d think would be enough to boost his fragile ego, until of course you see how he goes about filling it). Anyway, my bet is that this woman will humiliate Peter further by displacing him from his pathetic job; I assume that her pictures of Spider-Man will be better than his, both because it’s tricky to stage photos of yourself and because Peter is an incompetent who’s no good at anything.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 7/14/11

Haw haw, looks like Jughaid’s startin’ to hallucinate! He’s probably sufferin’ from heat stroke, no doubt because he insists on wearing a fur hat in the middle of summer.

Family Circus, 7/14/11

Dolly, nothing in your current life might match up with the sanitized fairy tales in that book, but surely the Brothers Grimm or Russian folklorists have recorded stories of a quartet of terrifying, stunted gnomish things locked away in a compound by their horrified parents.

Hi and Lois, 7/14/11

This is the first Hi and Lois I can remember laughing at. Ha ha, it’s funny because the innocent little baby is learning about disappointment! Oh, I’m a terrible person.

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 7/10/11

“’Cause if there’s one thing we city slickers and country folk can agree on, it’s that we wish women wouldn’t talk! Haw haw!”

Dennis the Menace, 7/10/11

“He is peeing all over the floor, though. Why’d you tell him you were going to take him out and then not do it? Jerk!”

Hi and Lois, 7/10/11

Based all the all-too-regular shape of the font in the last two panels, I’ll guess “comics letterer at Walker-Browne Amalgamated Humor Industries LLC” is another job that’s been taken over by machines.

Panel from Beetle Bailey, 7/10/11

At last we know why General Halftrack is forever in charge of Camp Swampy, the Army’s least prestigious posting: his pacifist leanings render him unfit for front-line service.

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Archie, 7/7/11

Since Gil Thorp seems determined to deny us our summer of joyous insanity for like the third year in a row (SERIOUSLY THEY ARE DOING A GOLF PLOT AGAIN WHAT THE HELL) we need to take our school-themed wackiness where we can find it. For instance, today Miss Grundy is on yet another desultory date with Prof. Weatherbee, which mainly serves to cover up the hot and heavy affair she’s been having with Moose all summer.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 7/7/11

It’s my understanding that little dots and bubbles around a cartoon character’s head generally denote intoxication, so I’m going to assume that “sleeping like a grownup” means that Maw drunk herself to sleep again.

Mary Worth, 7/7/11

“I mean, why would anyone become romantically obsessed with me? I’m rude and self-absorbed, and I don’t exactly have the looks to make up for it! It just doesn’t make any sense!”