Archive: Barney Google & Snuffy Smith

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Mary Worth, 11/7/21

Like a weird pervert who has become so addled by online pornography that he needs ever more bizarre and tentacle-heavy erotic imagery in order to get off, I feel like my heavy engagement in this current Wilbur storyline is taking me to some dangerous places. Like, I should be absolutely giddy in anticipation of the moment when Wilbur shows up at his “safe space” karaoke lounge only to discover that yet another ex-girlfriend has decided to flaunt the fact that she moved on with someone younger and taller and less bald, but instead I’m actively furious that Wilbur has also recently suffered some professional humiliation and we weren’t shown that in vivid detail. I want to see our man squirming as his boss laughs cruelly at whatever half-baked idea Wilbur came up with, damn it! This is the same guy who signed off on “I Shouldn’t Be Alive!” so you know Wilbur’s proposal was extremely shitty.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 11/7/21

Today’s Barney Google and Snuffy Smith really clearly illustrates the two main types of readers syndicated newspaper comics have to target today. The throwaway panels have an extremely dumb joke to amuse morons, while the rest of the strip is for people who would smugly think, “Ah, of course, ‘Barney Google (with the Goo-Goo-Googly Eyes),’ the 1923 hit tune with lyrics by Billy Rose! I understood that reference.”

Panel from Slylock Fox, 11/7/21

Obviously there’s some kind of Slylockverse version of the Hayes Code that says that the poor members of Slylock’s Rogue’s Gallery can never, ever win, but God bless Reeky Rat for not just persevering, but attempting to turn one of the main tools of his oppressors — the extremely selective application of animal facts — to his own defense. It’s not working, but I respect him so much.

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 11/2/21

When it comes to elected officials, Snuffy only wants to know one thing: will they stand firm in the face of the violent revolution he plans to lad, meeting an honorable death on a pitchfork wielded by an aggrieved inhabitant of Hootin’ Holler? Or will they flee from the burning capital like a dog as Snuffy and his compatriots loot everything that isn’t nailed down?

Mary Worth, 11/2/21

OH MY GOD

WILBUR IS GOING TO RETURN PIERRE TO THE SHELTER BECAUSE DOG OWNERSHIP DID NOT IMMEDIATELY TRANSLATE INTO SEX

FINALLY, WE’RE GOING TO GET A STORYLINE THAT ENDS IN WILBUR’S PUBLIC EXECUTION, THERE’S NOWHERE ELSE TO GO FROM THIS

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 10/29/21

Today’s “punchline” is some seriously low-rent “The real scary clowns are those clowns in Congress, amiright people” BS. But you have to admit it would be pretty fun if national TV news bureaus hired some half-assed Bela Lugosi imitator to do a “spooky” intro to each broadcast, and even more fun if they just made the anchors do it.

Gil Thorp, 10/29/21

A few years back, Gil Thorp did a pretty great storyline where the team student-manager was giving one of their players fake Adderall in order to boost his confidence and thereby his play, which is sort of like what we’re seeing here, where Boyd Spiller is using his YouTube-derived bogus hypnosis skills to convince everyone that he can improve their football and other talents. The difference, I guess, is that the student-manager knew the Adderall he was handing out was fake, whereas Boyd is probably going to convince himself that he really is a master of hypnosis, with hopefully extremely hilarious results.

Zits, 10/29/21

I don’t really care much about the content of this Zits, but I do want to point out that in the span of time it takes Walt and his son to utter four sentences, he’s removed a bone-in ham from the refrigerator, used it to assemble a large, sloppy sandwich, and completely consumed it and licked the remaining mustard off his fingers, a sequence terrifyingly dagwoodian in its efficiency.