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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 6/15/24

Today’s Barney Google and Snuffy Smith punchline isn’t bad exactly. It’s a perfectly serviceable newspaper comic strip gag. There’s no shame in writing it, or in publishing it. But it’s not good, either, and it definitely doesn’t merit the insanely smug expression Jughaid is aiming at us through the fourth wall in the final panel. Settle down kid, it’s just a grape joke. Nobody’s gonna remember it tomorrow, but they are going to remember how off-putting you’re being.

Dennis the Menace, 6/15/24

Honestly, a little kid not just agreeing to look at old pictures with an old person but actually asking to do it seems like it would be an absolute dream scenario for said old person. The fact that Mr. Wilson is so firmly rejecting this offer really tells you a lot about the hell on Earth that is his Dennis-adjacent lifestyle.

Hi and Lois, 6/15/24

The project of reclaiming Thirsty’s original characterization as the neighborhood drunk has been getting grimmer for some time, and has entered a truly dark phase now, as his wife begs him to seek counseling, for her sake if not for his own, and he refuses in an incredibly dickish bait-and-switch designed to briefly give her hope that her awful home life might someday improve. What really makes this strip to me is the first panel, where you can see that Thirsty initially planned to just do a shot, but then changed his mind and decided to fill up a tumbler instead, so that he could really linger over that XXX-brand brown liquor flavor.

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Blondie, 5/21/24

The implication here is that Dagwood has been home for hours while letting his latest workplace blunder marinate in his mind, only having the nerve to bring it up at the last possible moment. “What now?” says Blondie, who probably assumed that she had finished up all her emotional labor duties for the evening.

Dustin, 5/21/24

You know my contempt for the writing and characters in Dustin is boundless, but generally speaking, I think the art is decent. Like, even seeing Dustin’s dad’s boss from behind, I think the final panel here nicely captures a facial expression that says “Wow, I forgot what an asshole this guy is, hopefully he gets this all out of his system before our clients show up.”

Mary Worth, 5/21/24

Oh no, we’ve reached the point in the Mary Worth Plot Cycle where it becomes clear that the outrageous and silly plot prediction I made a few days ago (“Ha ha, what if Wilbur eats that fish“) might come true in a much, much grimmer fashion (“Oh no, Wilbur put his dead fish next to the ‘Phish food’ and all his frozen dinners, what if, blinded by grief and alcohol, he eats that fish”). It’s a real burden being cursed with the gift of prophecy!

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 5/21/24

The implication here is that, despite the obviously impoverished circumstances of their household and community, young Jughaid and Tater have to yet experience a crisis in which scavenged local flora and fauna make their way into the Smif family skillet. We call that a Hootin’ Holler right of passage, kids, better get used to it!

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Panels from Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 4/28/24

Remember the “30-50 feral hogs” guys? He briefly amused Twitter in 2019 when he demanded to know how he could protect his children from the aforementioned quantity of swine if he didn’t have access to an automatic weapon for personal use, but then we all learned that feral hogs are a real problem and that he might’ve had a point. Today we find out that the bears are learning to use the feral hogs as weapons, which shows that our whole reliance on firearms is obsolete. Only a good guy with a feral hog can stop a bad guy with a feral hog! (The bad guy is a bear in this scenario.)

Panel from Dennis the Menace, 4/28/24

Hey, kids, did you know that the “Diners Club” card was the very first credit card? No, of course not, because you’re not a million years old and Diners Club was long ago outcompeted into a tiny niche by Visa and Mastercard. Today’s Dennis the Menace (the joke is about going out to dinner, don’t worry about it) is the beginning of a great new partnership, which will help educate children and young people about the Diners Club brand! Money well spent, I say.

Mary Worth, 4/28/24

Mostly I wanted to show you today’s Mary Worth throwaway panels so you could see Iris with heart eyes, inflamed with lust by Wilbur’s display of casual violence. But as part of my duty of keeping you up to date on the comics, I must also point out that Wilbur actually saved that old man from a careening car rather than hurling him into its path. Wilbur just keeps winning! I personally am not a fan.