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Slylock Fox, 6/11/18

Today’s Slylock has what strikes me as a pretty big disconnect between the text and the art. The narrative we’re presented with asks us to believe that it’s Max who was lagging behind, and Slylock who has to still forge ahead to complete their mission. But check out what they actually look like: Max dynamically striding forward into adventure, looking over his shoulder at his companion, who’s desperately clinging to the broken bridge with a look of panic on his face. It’s almost as if these tales aren’t being written by their true hero, isn’t it? Anyway, here’s hoping Max crumples that map into a ball, tosses it into the ravine while Slylock watches, and heads off into the jungle, never looking back.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 6/11/18

While I admit it isn’t for everyone, I really enjoyed the Darren Aronofsky Noah from a few years back (my pocket review is that the it’s the only big-budget biblical epic I’ve seen that has the nerve to get as crazy as the actual bible). One of the key themes of the movie is that for most of the story Noah believes that God plans to kill off all of mankind for its sins; Noah and his family are merely to shepherd the animal species through the Flood, and then once they die of old age, the human race will be justly wiped out. It’s only when he discovers that his daughter-in-law is pregnant that he has to recalibrate his thinking; but what today’s Barney Google and Snuffy Smith asks us to imagine is a word where the Flood is meant as a final and complete act of extermination, not just for man but for the beasts as well. Parson Tuttle is, as usual, wrong: There is an ark, and these creatures are calmly walking one by one into it, each to bear witnes for his or her kind at the complete elimination of all their fellows. All will live out the rest of their lives in contemplation, and eventually perish, leaving the earth cleansed of the filth that is biological life.

Mary Worth, 6/11/18

Hey, remember when Tommy used to date one his co-workers, but then he hurt himself and missed a few days of work, and when he came back she dumped him and he became a Vicodin addict? Then he eventually got fired, which solved the problem of having to work with an ex, but caused more problems in terms of not having a job and spiraling downward into addiction and so forth. But good news! Now he has a job, and there’s a girl at this job that Tommy clearly intends to make his own! His life’s all set, until the dangerous combination of a back injury and a breakup inevitably befalls him again.

Spider-Man, 6/11/18

It’s funny because Iron Fist has immediately taken Spidey’s measure and deemed him not even worth punching with his titular iron fist, and instead has chosen to kick him with what I assume is a regular, non-metallic foot, which appears to be clad in a ballet slipper of some kind.

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 6/9/18

So Snuffy miraculously reconnected with his long-lost (and long-asleep?) father a few months ago, and since then the elder Smith posed for a family photo and, uh, has gone to jail. It’s really sad how quickly the family culture of criminality has pulled him back in again.

Funky Winkerbean, 6/9/18

So far all the terrible wordplay-units in this week’s Funky Winkerbean have been about electronic music, and, well, I get the whole “opening Pandora’s box” concept they’re working with here, but: do you think we’re meant to understand that Harry Dinkle, the fictional character, is vaguely aware of Pandora as “a music thing on the computer” and assumes it/she is some kind of electronica artist? Or do we have to admit that maybe every single person involved in the creation of this strip has made the same error, in real life?

Pluggers, 6/9/18

Call me a coastal elitist if you will, but I won’t believe this plugger actually knows the answer is “no” until we see him say it.

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 6/5/18

It’s hard to get a handle on exactly what the larger world of Snuffy Smith is supposed to be like, either geographically or chronologically. Is Hootin’ Holler a uniquely isolated community, surrounded by a modern flatlander civilization we would recognize, or is it simply one of a whole complex of adjacent hollers, each similarly cut off from mainstream American life but all connected to each other via a tenuous network of mountain roads? And if our protagonists were to wander beyond the hills, would they find the big-city denizens to be dressed more or less like us, or in garb as anachronistic as their own? What I’m trying to say is that I really want to be mad that this dude has old-timey prospecting gear and not, say, a metal detector, but I feel like I need to understand where and when he comes from before I get all worked up.

Mary Worth, 6/5/18

Why, look! It’s Mary’s beloved boyfriend Dr. Jeff! When we last saw this distinguished gentleman, he had just enthusiastically introduced Mary to his good pal Ted Miller, who then tried to rape her and so she cut off contact with him but never told Jeff about it. Now they’re getting together on Jeff’s lunch break and talking about … how lucky Wilbur is to know Mary? God, I just love the solid line of communication that keeps this relationship strong!