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Crock, 5/18/18

Since I started the week saying nice things about some legacy strips, I might as well end it the same way: I genuinely laughed at the intended joke in today’s Crock, of all things. On the unintended humor tip, I like the dark rings around Captain Preppie’s eyes; I’m assuming that’s just supposed to represent how furious he is at the indignities he’s suffering, but it kind of looks like these horny, crazed women have been punching him in the face, the better to strip his clothes off while he’s stunned from their blows.

Mary Worth, 5/18/18

Good news, everybody! Wilbur went to therapy once and now his cancelled column has been restored. I guess good things really do happen when you do the hard work on yourself!

Barney Google and Snuff Smith, 5/18/18

“And my supper! And my lonch tomorrow! And so on for the next several days! The nearest movie theater is a perilous journey, spanning many miles on foot down treacherous unpaved mountain roads!”

Shoe, 5/18/18

But when you ‘buy,’ you should jump right in without asking questions! (The content in today’s Shoe is presented in partnership with the National Automobile Dealers Association.)

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Mark Trail, 5/15/18

This is it, guys. This is the moment Mark’s been training for his whole life. He and a group of American tourists at this no-shower Mexican beachside resort have encountered a beached whale (not pictured, go back to Monday’s strip if you want to see it, I’m not going to do everything for you). One poor woman, weeping uncontrollably at the plight of the massive sea-beast and desperately searching for something solid to grab onto in this moment of tragedy, wonders aloud as to its species, and Mark, uniquely placed to meet her needs, steps up with facts at the ready. But then … but then … some Ernest Borgnine-lookin’ chump blunders in demanding to know where this know-it-all got all this useful whale taxonomy info. Who are you and how did you get so smart, mister? His hand, clenches, unwisely, into a fist. Oh, this gentleman’s about to get punched in the face, all right … but this time, with knowledge. (Later in the storyline, when it turns out he’s the sinister villain behind an illegal minke meat harvesting operation that caters to Japanese tourists, he’ll get punched in the face in the more usual sense of the term, with Mark’s crushing left cross.)

Beetle Bailey, 5/15/18

Remember, you can’t be as consistently furious with other people as Sarge is if you don’t also hate … yourself.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 5/15/18

Oh, look, we’ve been invited to watch the start of Snuffy and Loweezy’s sexual role play! I for one am extremely not down for this.

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Dennis the Menace, 5/11/18

This is definitely one of the most menacing things Dennis has ever said, as it’s exactly what he’d say if the police found, like, his collection of human skin trophies.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 5/11/18

Pretty sure you’re never going to have to worry about third grade if your husband keeps giving the kid extremely swallowable puzzle pieces, Loweezy!

Mary Worth, 5/11/18

She says she wants him to come to the car but … she’s definitely beckoning him over the cliff, right? That’s what’s happening in panel two? Just coaxing him into the comforting arms of death?