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Mary Worth, 2/10/26

OK, finally, finally we have absorbed the lessons (?) of the great Toby-Ian parrot story, and after eating those vegetables we get our dessert. That dessert is hot beefcake in the form of Dr. Jeff, who, after fitting a hood that’s too long to close onto his sports car, is taking a break to casually lean back, with his lilac shirt unbuttoned and sleeves rolled up to tease us with glimpses of his James Dean-esque undershirt and rippling forearms, like you do. Who wouldn’t want to go on a “sunset cruise” (wink) with this guy? The Mary Worth trufans certainly can’t resist!

Hagar the Horrible, 2/10/26

I guess we have Lucky Eddie awkwardly announcing that he’s staying outside in the first panel so that it would make sense for him to be asking this question to set up the punchline in the second. But I prefer to think that he knows Hagar all too well, and simply doesn’t want to watch Hagar murder the inhabitants of his former home and plunder whatever wealth they have, just like he murders most of the strangers he encounters on their journeys.

B.C., 2/10/26

I appreciate the single tear the cute chick “Grace” is crying for the farmers here. “Being a farmer sounds tough,” she’s thinking. “I’ll definitely urge my nomadic hunter-gatherer band to avoid agriculture indefinitely, and only interact with settled communities when we raid them for surplus goods.”

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Dustin, 1/15/26

Remember Dustin’s dad from the comic strip Dustin, who’s notoriously kind of an asshole? Well, it turns out he’s also an alcoholic.

Dennis the Menace, 1/15/26

Remember Dennis Mitchell from the comic strip Dennis the Menace, who’s notoriously kind of an asshole? Well, it turns out he was a little too much of an asshole and some other kid punched him in the face. (I’m positing that it’s another kid for this post’s purposes because otherwise my joke is significantly less funny. Well, I guess the strip’s joke is significantly less funny too, but that’s their problem.)

Pluggers, 1/15/26

Remember pluggers, the aging lower-middle-class man-beasts from the comic strip Pluggers, who notoriously are in less than robust health? Well, it turns out they’re falling asleep on the toilet in the middle of the night, which probably isn’t a great sign of how things are going for them.

B.C., 1/15/26

Remember the ant couple in B.C.? Probably not, there’s nothing really notorious about them. I guess you could say they were notoriously like a normal middle-class couple with kids except they were ants. Anyway, they got divorced, and then the husband was killed by an anteater immediately afterwards. RIP male half of the B.C. ant couple, 1958 (?)-2026, you taught me that it was OK to be weird.

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Archie, 1/13/26

Against all odds, the fact that I’ve been doing this blog for more than 20 years doesn’t usually make me feel old, mostly because I’m still substantially younger than most newspaper comics creators and readers, but occasionally I do catch a glimpse of the way my years have been piling up. For instance, these Archie strips are repeats from the early to mid ’00s, around the time I started commenting on them, and back then, teens (Archie’s ostensible target audience) would’ve read this and said, “Ha ha! The idiots who make this strip only have the vaguest idea what an iPod is and have no idea what it looks like!” before popping in their white earbuds and jamming out to Lindsay Lohan’s Speak, which they had pirated via LimeWire. Whereas today’s teens would read this rerun in the newspaper (an unlikely scenario, I admit, but stay with me here) and say “Wow, is that what iPods looked like, back when they were popular, several years before we were born? With curly wires and one (?) grey earphone and everything?”

Luann, 1/13/26

What’s worse than Brad and Toni having sex in their car in an empty amusement park parking lot late at night? Up until today you would’ve said “Nothing, obviously,” but now you know the answer actually is “Luann and Phil are desperate to have sex in their car in a nursing home parking lot in broad daylight except they’ve been foiled because it’s full of eager recyclers.”

B.C., 1/13/26

So do the deer … think the humans want to have sex with them? Is … is that the joke? Do the humans want to have sex with them? Is that the joke? Strong dislikes all around whatever the case.