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Marvin, 3/25/25

“Wow,” many of my longtime readers have no doubt concluded, “So Josh makes money by flying into a rage whenever the comic strip Marvin does jokes about shitting? Nice work if you can get it.” And that’s fair, but it isn’t all fun and games. For instance, part of my job also entails dispassionately and meticulously keeping track of the timeline of Marvin’s parents’ lives and relationships. We already knew that Jeff is 35, which means that he put “Who Let The Dogs Out” on a mix CD in college ironically, rather than sincerely. Today we learn that that he and Jenny have been married for seven years, since he was 28, another interesting data point. It is, of course, difficult to get a handle on how old Marvin is exactly, what with him walking around and talking in complete sentences but also not being potty trained, but he’s definitely several years younger than seven, which means there was a fairly extended Marvin-free period in Jeff and Jenny’s marriage. Now, the question this raises is: did they originally love one another, and the introduction of the awful Marvin in their lives lead them to the Lockhorns-like state of enmity we see in the strip? Or did they always hold each other in blistering contempt, and that anger made Marvin the hell-infant that we all know and loathe?

Andy Capp, 3/25/25

Speaking of comics character ages, it occurred to me the other day that, what with all the cultural signifiers in Andy Capp being ossified in a milieu quite foreign to me (working-class northern England sometime in the late 1950s), I had no idea how old Andy is supposed to be; any number between his mid-50s and, like, 28 seemed potentially realistic. Fortunately, today the strip introduces (?) a respectful zoomer character, “Young Tommy,” who “do[es] internet dating” so Andy can remark on it. I met my wife on the internet in the very early days of doing internet dating, which means that Andy is probably a few years older than me, which you can imagine comes as a great relief.

Luann, 3/25/25

Ha ha, remember back in the day, when Brad and Toni’s relationship was alive with a level of over-the-top ribaldry that they seemed to enjoy even though right-thinking readers all found it deeply distasteful? Well, they’re married now, and the passion is long gone, and now all that they have to look forward to is the grim, relentless cycle of sex for the purposes of reproduction. Right-thinking readers also find this deeply distasteful, but can at least take solace in the fact that Brad and Toni don’t like it either.

B.C., 3/25/25

Ha ha, remember back in the day in 2001, when you had to worry about whether B.C.’s Easter strips were maybe anti-semitic? Well, now it’s 2025, and you have to worry about whether B.C. is encouraging children to do whip-its. Life comes at you … well, not fast, exactly, but it does come at you. I know you’re all thinking “This isn’t a problem because no children actually read B.C.,” but I do think they’re marginally more likely to read B.C. than Judge Parker, so we’re slipping into dangerous territory here.

Shoe, 3/25/25

Being a syndicated newspaper comics artist doesn’t carry the rewards it used to, in terms of money or cultural impact. But there are few better ways, outside of a moderately successful Twitter or Instagram account, to share with hundreds or maybe even thousands of strangers your annoyance at a minor inconvenience you encountered in your daily life.

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Crock, 3/18/25

I kind of admire the thought process that went into constructing the current installment of “The Men Of Outpost 5 Read Letters From One Of The Men’s Hillbilly Hometown.” Obviously, you have this great joke about how the one guy is a dumb hillbilly who may have mastered the mechanical art of tying a shoe but doesn’t understand how the process fits into the larger context, where you generally tie both your shoes at once. But what gets me is how they decided to set that punchline up. What if he’s prompted to reminisce on this subject because his beloved friend and mentor died? What if he’s in mourning? That sure adds a fun little twist to the gag!

Marvin, 3/18/25

Marvin, the comic strip, debuted in 1982, so if time flowed normally for its cursèd inhabitants, then Marvin, the character, would be in his early 40s, and his parents would have long ago forgotten his awful infancy, which only lasted a couple of years, after all, or at least they would have sanded down the edges in constant retelling into a “we can laugh about it now” situation. But time doesn’t flow normally, and Marvin will remain a baby forever, and his parents will neither know the escape of him growing up nor ever truly get used to the horror. Thus the exclamation points in the second panel here: while this is the sort of bad behavior we expect from this terrible child, his parents are forever shocked anew, each psychic wound inflicted never healing into protective scar tissue.

Pluggers, 3/18/25

Pluggers long ago lost the ability to feel sexual arousal. But products? Well, pluggers sure do love a good product — looking at them, assessing them, trying to figure out how much they cost, then either nodding their head at a good price or shaking their heads at how expensive things are these days. They still have those pleasures, at least, even though others have long passed them by.

B.C. and Wizard of Id, 3/18/25

Have you ever wondered what it would be like if the courting mores of modern times were mapped onto a previous era — the Stone Age, say, or a vaguely medieval period that also had magic in it? Well, today’s B.C. and Wizard of Id have the answers for you, my friends!

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 9/21/17

In their blind haste to develop self-driving cars, elitist Google ignores nutritional needs of rural Americans. Sad!

Beetle Bailey, 9/21/17

Got the celery and the baguette, but still the lamest Art Frahm knock-off ever.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/21/17

Heather gets her longed-for baby, and Rex gets an ocean between himself and his patient. It’s win-win!

Sherman’s Lagoon, 9/21/17

Fascinated by the island monkeys, Sherman asks Big Kahuna to transform him into one. I’m more than a little concerned about this! “Beach apes” are food to Great Whites like Sherman, yet he becomes a primate every time he gets a chance. A dimwit shark is funny; a dimwit self-loathing shark is just confusing.

Gil Thorp, 9/21/17

Prodded by evil Uncle Gary, promising left tackle Rick Soto must choose between a chance at high school gridiron glory or wowing the Elks Club with 1928 Kurt Weill show tunes. Follow your extremely modest dreams, kid!

B.C., 9/21/17

You’d think a prehistory-themed strip would know a little more about reptiles.

Luann, 9/21/17

Tiffany put on some weight, which is somehow now everybody’s business. Her nominal friends spring into action: Bernice to read to her from that big copy of Cosmo, Dez to light calming incense, and Luann to set things up with the team.

— Uncle Lumpy