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Archive: Beetle Bailey

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Godless Saturday

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Curtis, 9/19/15

OK, I’m going to be nice for a minute: I genuinely like Barry’s expression in panel one. I totally missed it the first time I read through the strip, but once I got to his line in the last panel, I went back to check and, sure enough, there he is, trying to wordlessly warn Curtis of impending doom. It’s a funny call-ahead that I’ll bet most people miss and it’s also a cute facial expression in its own right. Panel three, though? Where Barry’s tiny hand can’t cover his vast and suddenly featureless expanse of face? That one’s a little more off-putting.

Beetle Bailey, 9/19/15

Speaking of evocative facial expressions, Beetle Bailey’s art is probably most kindly described as “simplistic,” but there is genuinely a lot of emotion packed into that bartender’s face in panel two. “Ha ha, this is … just a little game we play! I’m definitely not enabling his terrible alcohol problem and participating in the decades-deep web of passive-aggressive moves and countermoves within his marriage. Right? Being a bartender is OK morally, right? I really need this job!”

Herb and Jamaal, 9/19/15

I love that Rev. Croom has saved his little quip in the last panel for a thought balloon. It’s like, this could’ve been a great natural conversational opportunity for him to minister to Herb and maybe expand his parishioner’s understanding of religion, but, fuck it, he’s on his lunch break, you know?

Pluggers, 9/19/15

WELP HERE YOU GO PLUGGERS HATE CHURCH AND THEY HATE JESUS HERE’S ALL THE PROOF YOU NEED

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The proportional refusal to do anything fun of a SPIDER

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Beetle Bailey, 8/24/15

Way back in the early days of this blog, I did lots of jokes about Beetle and Sarge being secret lovers, then I got bored with it after a while and stopped, but hey, let’s check up on where these two crazy kids are at, now that Don’t Ask Don’t Tell has been repealed! Uh, it seems that Beetle has no interest in having any kind of actual relationship and just wants Sarge to come over to the barracks, for sex. Stop complaining and enjoy it, Sarge!

Blondie, 8/24/15

“Forgotten … overlooked … ignored … I also have a job … and that job involves cooking … maybe give me a break once in a while … for Christ’s sake … I mean you know how a stove works, right …”

Spider-Man, 8/24/15

Oh no! Peter Parker is going to have to go on a tropical vacation with his beautiful wife! All because he made a “joke” that no reasonable person would interpret as such!

Dennis the Menace, 8/24/15

This is one of the more menacing conversations with God I’ve seen lately. “Yeah, now we see each other as in a mirror dimly. When completeness comes, what is in part disappears. Till then, though, things down here are gonna get a little crazy.”

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We should spend more time talking about Alexander’s ennui, probably

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Hi and Lois, 8/19/15

As a baby, Trixie is just learning how the world works. This is what she’s learned today: anything made of organic matter eventually dies and rots. There’s only one friend that will last long though to meet Trixie’s emotional needs: the sun, an incomprehensibly vast ball of atomic fire that will sear our tiny world for billions upon billions of years.

Blondie, 8/19/15

Haha, yes, remember recently when Facebook implemented this extremely brand new feature? You know, back in April of 2013? I’m not sure what’s the saddest backstory for what happened here. Did the Blondie creative team just now noticed that they could add these dumb little things to their Facebook statuses, months after everyone else got bored with them? Did this joke only now occur to them, and they felt a need to call Facebook emoticons “new” so it would still seem relevant, somehow? Is the strip written and queued up more than two years in advance, and no variation in order is permitted, not even to keep topical jokes topical? I prefer another explanation: Blondie is created by a cabal of Old Ones, who have always existed and will always exist Beyond Time. To them, two years is but an infinitesimal instant, less time than it would take them to blink, if they had eyelids, if they had eyes.

Beetle Bailey, 8/19/15

We’ve never seen General Halftrack’s office from this angle before, and now we know why: it’s depressing as shit. Just blank walls, no furniture, no art, and a bunch of scattered golf balls. No wonder he drinks.

Funky Winkerbean, 8/19/15

♬ Hey Cayla ♬ I know when that’s gonna happen ♬ It’s neveeeeerrrr ♬