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Beetle Bailey, 9/22/15

I am very interested in how exactly the process in the Walker-Browne Amalgamated Humor Industries LLC writers room came together to generate this alleged humor product. “So, we’re agreed that the punchline to Tuesday’s strip should be that Otto, a dog who wears clothes and walks upright and thinks in complete sentences, will be peeing on Lt. Fuzz’s garden. Any pitches on how we punch that up a bit?” “How about if he gets a really mean face when he thinks about urinating on the flowers. Like it’s a threat.” “I like it, I like it. Do we want to make it seem just a little sexual? The pee-threat?” “Yes. Yes. Now we’re talking.”

Mary Worth, 9/22/15

I know we have a few months left, but I’m calling it now: Mary saying “Toby has many friends” with a facial expression that clearly indicates that she knows that Toby has no friends, even Mary is more than an acquaintance, really, just someone she talks to because of physical proximity, so why don’t we cut to the chase, why don’t we end this charade, human connection is impossible on this side of the veil, is definitely the panel of the year.

Shoe, 9/22/15

English is of course the international language of business and diplomacy, the equivalent of French or Latin in their heyday, so we can’t fault marginal cultures like the bird-people of Treetops for adopting it and the advantages that come with it. But still, it’s sad that, in only a few generations, they’ve completely abandoned the ancient language of birds. Do they ever look at the dusty old books of Bird-Speech, the impenetrable symbols taunting them with the reminder of their ancient cultural heritage, now lost forever?

Mark Trail, 9/22/15

Oh hey over in Mark Trail Mark is about to tangle with some bad guys in that radioactive wreck! In the close confines of that boat it’d be dangerous to actually fire his spear gun, so I guess he’s just going to stab them in the gut, one by one.

Wizard of Id, 9/22/15

Oh, did summer go by too fast for your tastes? I guess you don’t really know how to do summer! I guess you should be more like this smug cartoon wizard here!

Pluggers, 9/22/15

It takes highly advanced and extremely expensive science just to keep pluggers alive.

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Curtis, 9/19/15

OK, I’m going to be nice for a minute: I genuinely like Barry’s expression in panel one. I totally missed it the first time I read through the strip, but once I got to his line in the last panel, I went back to check and, sure enough, there he is, trying to wordlessly warn Curtis of impending doom. It’s a funny call-ahead that I’ll bet most people miss and it’s also a cute facial expression in its own right. Panel three, though? Where Barry’s tiny hand can’t cover his vast and suddenly featureless expanse of face? That one’s a little more off-putting.

Beetle Bailey, 9/19/15

Speaking of evocative facial expressions, Beetle Bailey’s art is probably most kindly described as “simplistic,” but there is genuinely a lot of emotion packed into that bartender’s face in panel two. “Ha ha, this is … just a little game we play! I’m definitely not enabling his terrible alcohol problem and participating in the decades-deep web of passive-aggressive moves and countermoves within his marriage. Right? Being a bartender is OK morally, right? I really need this job!”

Herb and Jamaal, 9/19/15

I love that Rev. Croom has saved his little quip in the last panel for a thought balloon. It’s like, this could’ve been a great natural conversational opportunity for him to minister to Herb and maybe expand his parishioner’s understanding of religion, but, fuck it, he’s on his lunch break, you know?

Pluggers, 9/19/15

WELP HERE YOU GO PLUGGERS HATE CHURCH AND THEY HATE JESUS HERE’S ALL THE PROOF YOU NEED

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Beetle Bailey, 8/24/15

Way back in the early days of this blog, I did lots of jokes about Beetle and Sarge being secret lovers, then I got bored with it after a while and stopped, but hey, let’s check up on where these two crazy kids are at, now that Don’t Ask Don’t Tell has been repealed! Uh, it seems that Beetle has no interest in having any kind of actual relationship and just wants Sarge to come over to the barracks, for sex. Stop complaining and enjoy it, Sarge!

Blondie, 8/24/15

“Forgotten … overlooked … ignored … I also have a job … and that job involves cooking … maybe give me a break once in a while … for Christ’s sake … I mean you know how a stove works, right …”

Spider-Man, 8/24/15

Oh no! Peter Parker is going to have to go on a tropical vacation with his beautiful wife! All because he made a “joke” that no reasonable person would interpret as such!

Dennis the Menace, 8/24/15

This is one of the more menacing conversations with God I’ve seen lately. “Yeah, now we see each other as in a mirror dimly. When completeness comes, what is in part disappears. Till then, though, things down here are gonna get a little crazy.”