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Apartment 3-G, 7/16/08

I’m a tad bit uncomfortable at the notion that the phrase “husky note of longing” is just sitting there in the comics pages where little children can see it — not because I’m sexophobic, but because I worry that impressionable eight-year-old-boys everywhere will try to imitate it, and end up sounding like Lauren Bacall. Wait, did I say “uncomfortable”? Scratch that, because that actually sounds hilarious.

In panel three, Margo is looking discombobulated and holding the phone several inches from he ear. She looks less like someone being proposed to and more like Peter Parker being berated by J. Jonah Jameson.

Beetle Bailey, 7/16/08

Good Lord, Walker-Browne Amalgamated Humor Enterprises LLC, how clear do I have to make it? ENVIRONMENTALISM DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY.

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Beetle Bailey, 7/8/08

Let’s forget, for a moment, General Halftrack’s terrible problem with alcohol. Is it standard operating procedure at American military bases for the assembled troops to file by, band playing, while the commanding officer and his adjunct stare grimly down from a raised dais? This to me evokes not so much “America’s all-volunteer military” as “Moscow, circa 1982.” Actually, that does explain a lot about Halftrack’s ashen pallor, and his terrible problem with alcohol.

Luann, 7/8/08

Possible jobs for TJ that would justify his current outfit:

• Extremely natty pimp
• Nathan Detroit in dinner-theater production of Guys and Dolls

Have the DeGroots considered that Brad, who is TJ’s closest friend and who has lived with him for some time, might actually know where TJ gets his money, and that they could ask him without any embarrassment on their part? Ha ha, just kidding, we’ve watched Brad’s attempts at romance over the past couple of years, he obviously knows nothing about anything.

Marmaduke, 7/8/08

“And the way he expresses his dislike for things is with massive amounts of excrement, so you’d better brace yourself.”

Sally Forth, 7/8/08

Hmm, perhaps Alice needs to wait a bit before telling Sally about the hidden cameras. Or about SeeTedInseminateSally.com.

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Beetle Bailey, 6/24/2008

Otto’s prayer: “Let me be anything — or nothing — but not Marmaduke.”

The Phantom, 6/24/2008

Disoriented and blinded by fear, Diana prepares to shoot her husband.

B.C., 6/24/2008

Wait — what?

Funky Winkerbean, 6/24/2008

Canton, Akron — next up on Boondoggles of Northeast Ohio: the Tod Engine Heritage Park — a Mechanical and Materials Engineering Landmark!

Mary Worth, 6/24/2008

Apparently, mere public humiliation doesn’t satisfy Dr. Jeff — and like everybody in this strip, he’s decided to just phone it in.

Crankshaft, 6/24/2008

Trash and Pain — the Crankshaft Family Album.

— Uncle Lumpy