Post Content

Shoe, 9/28/21

The obvious version of this joke would have the Professor deliver his first line looking at his desk at work, or maybe in his home office. But nope, instead he’s saying it while looking at his living room chair, and I assume that the “lots” he has to do involves catching up on various prestige television shows and finishing off yesterday’s pizza and snacks, which he’s blowing off to read about golf instead. A true legend of sloth!

Blondie, 9/28/21

I’ve never really gotten a handle on how old Elmo is supposed to be, exactly, but I refuse to acknowledge a scenario where he’s capable of drawing Mr. Dithers’s and Dagwood’s faces (side note: there is no reason for Elmo to have ever met or even seen a picture of Mr. Dithers) with such precision, and yet be unable to properly write the letter E. I have to assume that he’s chosen a whimsical “childish” signature as part of his artistic #brand, which may explain why he’s placed (in-universe) photorealistic drawings on stick-figure bodies.

Beetle Bailey, 9/28/21

You’ve got to admit that “killed stateside by friendly fire” was always the most probably way for Beetle Bailey to die, just edging out “organ failure from repeated beatings from Sarge” and “slept too hard.”

Post Content

Six Chix, 9/26/21

Wait, isn’t the Phantom of the Opera’s whole deal that he lives in the opera house full time, mostly in a lair in the basement, and he never leaves? I’ve never read or seen any version of this story, but I’m very sure about this and the “boating on the Seine” thing bothers me so much! It’s always fun for me to discover a new thing that I’m violently pedantic about despite having no emotional stakes in it whatsoever, I tell you what.

Beetle Bailey, 9/26/21

I like the fact that Rocky is just sitting there at his otherwise empty desk with a pencil in his hand. I realize this is because everything in Beetle Bailey by law has to be as on-the-nose as possible, and he’s an editor and that’s a thing that involves writing, but I’d like to imagine that Rocky actually writes the entire Camp Swampy Bugle out every day by hand with a pencil, and there’s only ever one copy, and it’s always delivered to General Halftrack, and Rocky deliberately misspells his name to antagonize him.

Post Content

Dick Tracy, 9/25/21

Oh, huh, I guess the guy in the Ace of Spades outfit isn’t actually the first guy to wear the Ace of Spades outfit, and that apparently the reason the Ace of Spades outfit involves a mask is that the original guy had a huge “A” in the middle of his forehead. This is profoundly uninteresting to me, it turns out, but I guess we’re going to watch Dick try to puzzle all these questions out when he could just USE DIET SMITH’S TIME-DRONE TO ZOOM IN ON THE EXACT MOMENT OF THE MURDER AND SOLVE IT WITHOUT ANY EFFORT, god, Dick, do I have to think of everything for you????

Mary Worth, 9/25/21

“[adorable French accent] Oh ho ho! This Weelbur, he seems to think that he can threaten me with ‘arm! Fortunately, eet is very obvious that I would defeat him in either a battle of physical prowess or a contest of weets! The game is afoot, mon frère! ‘Bring eet on,’ as you say in this county!”

Beetle Bailey, 9/25/21

Years ago, when I first started this blog, one of my running bits was that Beetle and Sarge were lovers in a tempestuous, sometimes violent relationship, but I dropped that because it got old after a while. And really, when you think about it, friendships can be just as intense as romantic relationships, right? A guy saying “my mother never shoved a fist in my face” while the guy who just shoved his fist in his face watches him walk away with crossed arms is just as grim even if they aren’t sleeping each other, in my opinion.