Post Content

Blondie, 7/6/24

I can’t believe I’ve lived long enough to become the kind of nostalgist who says things like, “Remember when this legacy comic was only 75 years into its run and still had a spark of whimsy in it, unlike today when it’s 95 years in and every panel lacks any joy whatsoever?”, but: remember when this comic used to give its ancillary characters fun names like “Glambaster?” Whereas now everyone is just named the most on-the-nose thing you can think of. Oh, is “Barbie Babewelder” a beautiful woman, like a Barbie doll brought to life? Is Hank Hunkerman a big, hunky man, guaranteed to delight any woman who looks his way when he has his shirt off? To be fair, today’s strip does show that Blondie is continuing to provide the valuable service of giving non-senior-citizens insight into what boomers are up to online. It’s unsettling that the answer is “using neighborhood drama Facebook groups to get horny,” but sometimes the truth is disturbing and we need to face it.

Gasoline Alley, 7/6/24

Speaking of legacy comic strips and how old they are, Gasoline Alley is so old that it has a recurring rude salesman character based on the recurring rude salesman character from the Jack Benny Show that Frank Nelson played in the 1940s and ’50s. This is a character that I, a 49-year-old man, was only able to identify because The Simpsons parodied him 25 years ago. This comic strip is real old, in other words! So I guess this raises the question of: who is this running bit for, exactly? Well, I guess it’s for me, and most of you, if you’re reading this, so let’s just enjoy it.

Dennis the Menace, 7/6/24

Speaking of legacy comic strips, and how old they are, remember when you could have a whole character who’s big deal was “Imagine if a family moved to the suburbs … and they were Italian! Pretty crazy, huh?” Some of you would say “You couldn’t do that today, because the PC police would stop you from making a big deal about Italians living in the suburbs, and also lots of Italians live in the suburbs now,” but check it out! Dennis the Menace is still doing it, literally today!

Beetle Bailey, 7/6/24

[Reads panel one] So they’re going into town for a chili cook-off. Cookie probably made the chili, so that’s why he’s going, but what’s Sarge’s role in all this? [Reads panel two] Ah, he’s one of the judges. That makes sense. Now to move on to the third and final panel for the punchline. [Sees there’s no panel three] Huh. Huh.

Mary Worth, 7/6/24

Wilbur’s Google search history for the past few minutes:

fish DNA
clone fish
clone fish by mail
do clones remember you
clone fish illegal
how to erase google search history

Post Content

Blondie, 6/18/24

Originally read that first panel as referring to “verse” as in poetry, then was briefly disappointed when it turned out I was incorrect, then thought, you know what? I don’t need to hear what Blondie’s take on poetry is. Stay in your lane, Blondie! Blondie’s lane is doing funny onomatopoeias for snoring, and it’s thriving there.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 6/18/24

Honestly loving Loweezy’s exclamation point in the second panel here. Why, she had an entirely different idea about what Jughaid’s summer reading list was! Comics? Good heavens!

Dustin, 6/18/24

I also love Dustin’s dad expression of crushing despair in the final panel of this strip. Ha ha, it’s funny because he wants to die! And if he keeps drinking all that sugar, he just might!

Post Content

Blondie, 6/16/24

Even in a recurring narrative, it can be difficult to accommodate the full network of an average person’s social relations into the story, which is why every workplace sitcom that runs for any length of time ends up landing on “all these coworkers actually hang out together constantly outside of work too.” Still, it is kind of odd that we’ve never heard Blondie or Dagwood, who can’t be older than their mid 50s and may be quite a bit younger, ever talk about any of their parents. This implies that they either died young or that they’re estranged, so maybe Dagwood whipping himself into manic glee over the thought that Mr. Dithers serves as an abusive surrogate father figure is an attempt to deflect their conversation from sensitive emotional territory. On the other hand, the fact that Dithers is actually coming over, and the fact that he looks not that different from Dagwood’s father from the Jazz-era strips, hints at an even darker storyline here.

Hi and Lois, 6/16/24

Honestly, mad respect to Hi and Lois for following up on the kids’ decision last month to combine the parent holidays into a single convenient unit. Hi thought they were doing a bit, but they weren’t, and it’s funny because he feels really bad about it!

Mary Worth, 6/16/24

Imagine you got invited to a surprise party, and you’re like, “Oh, is it a surprise birthday party?” and the host says, “No, actually, it’s a surprise fish funeral.” What sort of crowd could you get for that? Well, the answer is “Saul and Eve, who as far as I know haven’t really interacted with Wilbur but are a little pet-mad so they’re game, and Toby and Ian, who probably don’t have a lot else going on.” It does not include Dr. Jeff, who has found the limits to his dignity, and is presumably sullenly waiting in the cabin of his boat, wearing a disguise of some sort in case any of his real friends walk by.