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Archive: Blondie

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MOTHERS ARE GREAT, I LOVE MOTHERS, THEY DESERVE ONLY THE BEST

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Blondie, 5/11/24

Look, obviously saying anything against mothers and motherhood is a swift ticket to getting abruptly cancelled — and rightfully so! [laughs nervously] — but I refuse to believe “mom’s week” is a thing, even if you use the not-actual-Mothers-Day part of the week to make a nice gesture to the non-relative woman whose house you spend all your time in for ill-defined and probably not great reasons. It’s long been clear that a substantial portion of Blondie gags are generated by a big calendar with all the holidays on it, and today’s strip shows how reliant the writers are on this crutch, with the daily strip crew refusing to cede Mothers Day to the Sunday writers room.

Gasoline Alley, 5/11/24

“I looked, and there were four wheels beside the cherubim, one beside each cherub, and the appearance of the wheels was like gleaming beryl. And as for their appearance, the four looked alike, something like a wheel within a wheel. When they moved, they moved in any of the four directions without veering as they moved, but in whatever direction the front wheel faced, the others followed without veering as they moved. Their entire bodies — backs, hands, and wings — were covered with eyes all around, as were the wheels of the four of them. As for the wheels, they were called in my hearing the wheelwork. Each one had four faces: the first face was that of the cherub, the second face was that of a human, the third that of a lion, and the fourth that of an eagle. The cherubim rose up. These were the living creatures that I saw by the River Chebar.” That’s the testimony of the prophet Ezekiel, and I hope for these things for Walt! I hope he’s borne up to heaven on wings covered by eyeballs by beings who seem like living creatures but are like no living creature you’ve ever seen! If he cannot be blessed by a natural death, after more than a century of toiling in the funny pages for our amusement, let him have this, instead!

Dennis the Menace, 5/11/24

I genuinely find it funny that Alice seems confused by the perpetrator of this prank. “It’s our asshole neighbor, honey. The one who’s done this before, repeatedly? It’s two in the afternoon, are you drunk already?”

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The fish are the new Adam and Eve

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Beetle Bailey, 5/10/24

The thing I like about this strip is how numb Sarge looks in the second panel. He scarfed down two plates full of burgers and fries and guzzled two waters in just a few minutes, and for what? Does he feel any better? Does he feel sated? Will he ever feel sated? He didn’t even wash his hands. He ate dinner with dirty hands, and he didn’t even enjoy it.

Mary Worth, 5/10/24

Seeing a disheveled Wilbur gesticulating with a sandwich and talking about “turning off the world” is genuinely chilling. Did he use his Wilbur-Man powers to transform the whole universe outside of his apartment into an endless void? Hopefully his abilities allow him to create as well as destroy, or that’s the last sandwich he’ll ever eat. Eternal peace … but at what cost?

Blondie, 5/10/24

Somebody in the Blondie supply chain has been having real fun with bold and chunky color gradients lately, and I just want to say: I see you, and I appreciate you.

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Vote early, vote often

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Blondie, 4/23/24

Good lord, when’s the last time Blondie introduced a new character? Even Elmo has been around since at least 1954. Despite [gestures vaguely around] the evidence, I’m still a pretty big fan of democracy, so I urge you to log onto either of Meta Platforms, Inc.,’s two most popular websites and cast your vote for just the dumbest thing you can think of for Blondie and Irma’s new coworker, like a sullen zoomer named Braelyn or a hulking beast known as “Gortho the Destroyer.” We Can Do It! Keep Hope Alive!

Marvin, 4/23/24

This is, of course, a riff of the famous line from When Harry Met Sally that comes right after Meg Ryan has loudly simulated an orgasm in public, and I’m really not comfortable contemplating what this is supposed to mean about the sybaritic life of babies. Instead I’ll just point out that Marvin and the baby on the far left are eating recognizable food items, while the baby in the middle, the one experiencing incredible levels of delight, just has a bowl of lumpy brown goo in front of him. OK, now that I’ve written that sentence, I realize that didn’t really make me very comfortable either.

Pluggers, 4/23/24

Pain! Pain! A plugger’s life is nothing but pain! The pain leaves no room in their mind for any other thoughts or memories! Pain!